i'm not here right now i'm at my dads

anonymous asked:

Who was everyone's first celeb crush? I'm curious!

If I told you guys mine, you’d kill me.

@tereziweek day 4: au day

i tend toward humanstuck, so take a bloodswap 

Who else dad is weird like this 🙄
  • *in another world at another time*
  • Me: *gets text*
  • Dad: Hey, who's my favorite daughter?
  • Me: Dad?
  • Dad: Hey there, dear. 😉
  • Dad: Last time I checked I was. 😂
  • Me: *out loud* Oh my god!
  • Roommate: Please stop screaming, I'm in a very intense debate about the merits of socialism with an online friend, and I can't concentrate with you making such a racket.
  • Me: Socialism? Aren't you incredibly rich and vain?
  • Roommate: I'm a Trotskyist, you fool.
  • Me: Who cares! My dad's alive!
  • Roommate: I wasn't aware that your dad was dead?
  • Me: Neither was I. I thought he had just abandoned me and my mom all those years ago. I have quite a story about it. When I was about 14, my dad took me on a road trip to go to IHOP for a delicious breakfast. After we had finished, he got up to use the bathroom and never returned. He left me stranded in a strange IHOP two states over.
  • Roommate: You traveled two states away to go to an IHOP?
  • Me: I mean, it was a road trip.
  • Roommate: How do you know it's your dad?
  • Me: Check my phone, it says dad right there. Of course he's my dad.
  • Roommate: It could be anyone.
  • Me: There's no one else in my contacts with the name dad, other than my dad, ya goober. In fact, with every new phone I've gotten I always added his old phone number to the contacts in case of a moment just like this.
  • Roommate: Even still, don't you think it's suspicious that your father is contacting you via text nearly a decade after he abandoned you?
  • Me: No.
  • Roommate: Not even a bit?
  • Me: No. *buzz* Oh, he texted me again!
  • Dad: Hey, who's my favorite daughter?
  • Me: Me, of course! 😘
  • Dad: No.
  • Me: What?
  • Dad: You're my fifth favorite daughter.
  • Me: I don't understand.
  • Dad: I have six daughters and you're my fifth favorite one. The sixth one died in a scuba diving accident.
  • Me: So I'm your least favorite daughter?
  • Dad: No, don't think of it like that! You're not my least favorite daughter, you're just my least favorite LIVING daughter. 😉
  • Me: That doesn't make me feel better.
  • Dad: Ah, it doesn't matter. You remember me, your dad, the big wacky goofball! 😝
  • Me: I remember you trading my bicycle for coke.
  • Dad: It's a thing of the past, my daughter who I love the least. I don't want to worry about the past, let's meet up and discuss the future.
  • Me: OMG You want to meet up? Where?
  • Dad: IHOP, for old time's sake, but this time let's make it the one in town.
  • Me: *out loud* Oh my god, I'm meeting up with my dad!
  • Roommate: I'm right here, you don't have to yell.
  • Me: I'm so excited. I'm reconnecting with my father. Most girls can only dream of this moment.
  • Roommate: He honestly sounds like a terrible person.
  • Me: People change.
  • Roommate: Yeah, sometimes they become worse.
  • Me: You're just overly pessimistic because you're a goth and also a Trotskyist.
  • Roommate: Eh, I can't deny it.
  • *later at IHOP*
  • Me: *waiting at table* I can't wait to see my dad again. I wonder what he looks like. I bet he's a businessman now. Oh, or maybe he's a priest. *notices commotion at the front of the store* Hmm?
  • Waitress: Sir, please wait to be seated.
  • Disheveled Dude: I'm meeting up with someone, you flighty broad. There's not much time. Get out of my way.
  • Me: *internally* At least that guy isn't my dad.
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh, there she is. *runs and sits at my table* Oh my god, is that my little girl. You've grown up so much. You look way too much like your mom. It's bringing back some really bad memories. I'm sorta regretting. Just joking. Hahaha. WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR WAITRESS, I'M TRYING TO EAT HERE!?
  • Me: What a coincidence it is that the horrible man making a scene at the front of the restaurant is my dad...
  • Disheveled Dude: What's with the distant look on your face? You're acting like you saw a ghost. Haha, maybe you do think I'm a ghost. Hey, sorry about leaving you at the IHOP all those years ago. Kinda got bored of the whole dad thing. JESUS CHRIST, CAN YOU GUYS FUCKING HURRY UP AND GET US A WAITRESS. F-Fuck. *wipes sweat off forehead*
  • Me: Dad?
  • Disheveled Dude: WHAT!?
  • Me: *jumps in seat*
  • Disheveled Dude: Sorry, I've been really on edge recently. *nervously looks over shoulder* Where the fuck are these waitresses?
  • Me: Dad... *gets teary eyed*
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh god, are you gonna start crying on me.
  • Me: *sniffles* I'm sorry, I just missed you so much.
  • Disheveled Dude: Yeah, yeah, I missed you too. Time to move onto the next thing. Inheritance. Uh, I'm gonna die eventually, so you can have all of my money. *put suitcase stuffed with cash on the table and pushes it towards me* You can just have it now, for all I care. I mean, you never know when I'm gonna die.
  • Me: Dad, I don't want your money. I just want to spend time with you.
  • Disheveled Dude: Well, you can spend all the time in the world with me once you accept the fat wads of cash in this suitcase. I just need you to say verbally that you're accepting this money from me as a legitimate form of inheritance.
  • Me: Dad, please. I just want to talk to you.
  • Disheveled Dude: Come on and take the fucking cash, Elizabeth.
  • Me: My name's not Elizabeth.
  • Disheveled Dude: Okay, whatever. Take the money and clearly dictate that you are accepting the entirety of this money as a legitimate form of inheritance from your loving father. You can use it for college, you're college aged right. Or prenatal care. I don't fucking know. What shitty kid doesn't want FREE FUCKING MONEY!?
  • Me: *stands up from seat* Dad! You're the worst ever! I hate you! *runs out of IHOP sobbing*
  • Disheveled Dude: Fuck, I knew that wasn't going to work. *notices how dark it is outside* It's almost here. I wasted so much goddamn time. I'm never going to get rid of this thing. FUCK!
  • Waitress: *nervously* I can help you now, sir.
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh, so now you show up. I'm not so hungry now. In fact, I've lost my entire damn appetite.
  • Waitress: I'm sorry, sir. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry.
  • Disheveled Dude: Which one of those cars outside is yours?
  • Waitress: The red one.
  • Disheveled Dude: That broken down piece of shit?
  • Waitress: Yes.
  • Disheveled Dude: Guess, there's no other choice. It'll have to do. Give me your fucking keys.
  • Waitress: What?
  • Disheveled Dude: *points gun at waiter* GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING KEYS!
  • Waitress: *drops keys on the table*
  • Disheveled Dude: *tosses wads of cash at the waitress* That's easily $200,000. Go buy yourself a better car. You might want to make it quick. *runs out of IHOP*
  • Waitress: *watches disheveled dude speed off* Why is it so dark outside and where did everyone go? I guess it doesn't matter now, though. $200,000. That's a lot of money. I wonder what I'm gonna do with all this? I'm so excited that I'm lightheaded. The future is so bright now.
  • Wall of Darkness: *encroaches*

Most people working in customer service hate rude clients, but I personally love them because I have a very dry humour and I mean how can I resist being a smartass to people who like to be rude? My absolute pleasure.
I used to work at my father’s business, which is a private medical clinic. Some exams are covered by the gov, some are not. Prices can range from 100$ to 1300$ and even more (though when it’s more we usually split up the exams). I would work at night and on weekends, which meant I was alone at the front desk, two or three other employees in the back.
One night it was very slow so the two other employees were sat out in the front with me, and we talked as I did my chores. In walks a man, maybe in his thirties. You can just tell he is very despicable but I just smile brightly, welcome him and ask to see his doctor’s paper. I take a look and see it’s for an MRI, meaning ai have to fill a document with his information to have a tech approve it. It’s for his right knee so I confirm with him as I’m writing it down.
Him: could it be possible to add the left knee? Just to compare.
Me: i’m sorry we can’t, that’s illegal. You should ask your doctor and if he sees it to be pertinent he’ll prescribe the exam.
Him: okay but I forgot I can just pay for it!
Me: that’s an additional 650$, and I just told you it’s illegal.
Him: but you can just check it on the paper before you scan it into the computer.
Me: again, sir, I can’t do that because it’s illegal.
Him: I’ll do it then.
Me: but I know of your intention and I’ll just put a note in your file about it to make sure.
Him: come on , I won’t tell your mother!
Me (getting quite irritated): no but I certainly will tell my dad.
Him: what’s it to me?
Me: this is my father’s business. He owns it. Now I need your signature right here.

His face totally fell and the other two employees had to leave because they were laughing so bad.

Astoria: a track by track review
  • Astoria: Josh has been possessed by Freddy Mercury and I am here for it
  • Burning Up: how
  • Yesterday: I'm dancing like a drunk dad at a barbecue
  • One Love: who hurt him who hurt my son
  • This Means War: I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now
  • Dearly Departed: who hurt my son part 2
  • Shut Up and Kiss Me: how did this Jackson Five track get into my itunes library
  • Forget Me Not: I'm not going to make fun of this one sorry
  • Wildfire: it's like Desperate Measures but SPICIER
  • While We're Young: put this down as my cause of death
  • End of An Era: WITNESS ME

anonymous asked:

So today my dad was talking about how stupid non-binary people are and I'm non-binary and I died inside. I mean they're also very homophobic and I'm very not straight... Pls help

You have many friends here, but in many ways, I do not think turning inward is healthy. I am not suggesting you come out to them, if it has the possibility to make your life right now painful or dangerous, but often times, these people do not learn because these people have no experience. They don’t understand how widespread it is, and they speak in complete stupidity. Sometimes when they learn that someone near them, whom they protest to love, is gay, or nonbinary, they amend their opinion. That is the ideal, of course.

I don’t know how old you are, but if you are older than say, 16, I would say it is now time to begin establishing your personal boundaries. If you can do so safely, begin having, not angry or hateful reactions, but definite and dismissive responses to bigoted comments. It may even be prudent to simply say that you do not want to engage in conversations that are disrespectful to other people, and then walk away. This may earn you negative replies and consequences, BUT it is good for several reasons.

Firstly, you declare the ethical high ground, and their only possible reply is “But I want you to see how bigoted I am!” Which makes them look terrible (even to their subconscious). Next, it allows you to set a precedent of your boundaries and feelings WITHOUT revealing what you are to them. Thirdly, it requires NO EXPLANATION. You simply do not engage in cruelty or dismissive behaviors. Those are your personal boundaries. And they will either respect them or earn your disapproval. I know you may be scoffing, thinking that they are the authorities and could care less about your disapproval, but I assure you, they ABSOLUTELY care. They may not interpret it as you want them to, but ALL parents can tell when their children are disappointed in them. Recall that they are human. They had parents, and even if they agreed with their parents upon every point, at one time or another they absolutely found themselves at odds with their parents, and had to find a way.

Eventually, the hope or idea is, that they will learn to stop doing those things in front of you, but only if you handle it properly.

You must not display any sort of rage, frenetic behavior, or emotional state. Your affect should be cold, dismissive, and definite.

You should not engage in answering “Why” questions. If you interrupt their remarks with “I do not engage in disrespectful discriminatory behavior, and I am leaving this conversation” and they attempt to defend their bigotry, it stands to reason they will eventually ask what is wrong with you- a why. At this point, you have simply to distance yourself further by either repeating yourself, or saying that speaking ill of others in a way that is ignorant of their circumstances is not something you condone. The most important thing is not to use any phrasing that is “name-calling”. You cannot call a bigot a bigot. They stop hearing you. So always talk about the behavior and the aspects about THE BEHAVIOR that bother you. Give them a chance to be a better person. Give them the opportunity to qualify what they have said in a more pleasant way. If they do, this means they are aware of their fault. It makes them easier to engage. If they do not “back pedal”, then you have met a brick wall, and you walk away.

If they pursue you or belabor the point, resist the urge to engage. Repeat yourself. No matter what they say. Repeat that you do not engage in such behaviors. Find a way to leave safely, whether it be to repair to your room, or to step outside.

This is the way you teach others how to engage you. This is how you stand up for yourself and gain ground WITHOUT imposing upon them. If they continue their bigotry as a pageant to upset you, well then…

They have taught you PRECISELY what sort of enemy they are, and have made themselves more obvious. You will have learned a simple truth about your family, and that is something to confront in different ways with a separate strategy.

I am sorry you have to deal with this. But this is a plague on the human mind, one that is hundreds of years strong, but you represent a generation largely immune. Uphold that. Defend it. I know that it can be frightening (and please do not do anything that is dangerous. I cannot know your circumstances, and you know your parents.) but all of you must step back and let them define themselves. Once they have, they are easier to beat.

  • Aveline: All right, I'm just going to say it. Fenris, you need to present yourself better.
  • Fenris: What are you talking about?
  • Aveline: You're squatting in Hightown. I sympathize with your claims, but your neighbors have influence.
  • Fenris: My "claims"?
  • Aveline: To the estate. "Rightfully stolen" isn't exactly something I can forward to the Viscount. Be more discreet about... yourself.
  • Fenris: [snidely] I shall endeavor to exist with less offense.
  • ---
  • Aveline: Fenris, did you consider my offer to train the guard in Tevinter fighting techniques? I've heard nothing.
  • Fenris: My abilities were inflicted, not taught. I will not pass that on.
  • Aveline: Some good should come of them.
  • Fenris: No.
  • ---
  • Fenris: It feels good to be captain of the guard, yes?
  • Aveline: [exasperated] No, I will not change the patrols around your mansion again. There's already been too many questions.
  • Fenris: You wound my pride with such accusations.
  • Aveline: But you were going to ask.
  • Fenris: Eventually.
  • Aveline: [laughing] I'll look at the roster and see what I can do.
  • ---
  • Aveline: Thank you for that tip, Fenris.
  • Fenris: You caught them, then?
  • Aveline: Yes - a whole nest of slave runners working out of the Undercity.
  • Fenris: I imagine you imprisoned them?
  • Aveline: Sadly, they never made it to prison.
  • Fenris: You always know how to make me smile, Aveline.
  • Stacker: You were my first choice. All the other Mark 3 pilots are dead.
  • Mako: I don't think you're the right man for this mission.
  • Chuck: You slow me down, I'm gonna drop you like a sack of Kaiju shit.
  • Herc: I'm sorry about your brother. Now come sit with us, there's plenty of room at our table. Here, just take my son's food, I'll take good care of ya. Have any family left? Can I adopt you? Raised Chuck on my own. Smart kid, but I never knew whether to give him a hug or a kick in the arse. Now maybe if he had a friend...
  • Chuck: Dad. Dad please stahp.
Heathers: the Musical "Beautiful" Starter Pack.
  • "I believe I'm a good person."
  • "I think there's good in everyone."
  • "Here we are, first day of senior year!"
  • "What happened?"
  • "Freak!"
  • "Slut!"
  • "Burn-out!"
  • "Bug-eyes!"
  • "We were so tiny, happy and shiny . . . "
  • "Loser!"
  • "Shortbus!"
  • "Bull-dyke!"
  • "Stuck-up!"
  • "Hunchback!"
  • "Then we got bigger, that was the trigger."
  • "Welcome to my school."
  • "This ain't no high school."
  • "This is the Thunderdome."
  • "Hold your breath."
  • "Count the days."
  • "We're graduating soon."
  • "College will be paradise."
  • "I know life can be beautiful."
  • "I pray for a better way."
  • "If we changed back then, we can change again."
  • "We can be beautiful . . ."
  • "Hey, are you okay?"
  • "Get away, nerd!"
  • "Watch it!"
  • "Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!"
  • "Agh! . . . Hey, _____. "
  • "We on for movie night?"
  • "Again? Don't you have it memorized by now?"
  • "I'm a sucker for a happy ending!"
  • "_______! Wide load!"
  • "Hey! Pick that up right now!"
  • "I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?"
  • "I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend."
  • "You're a high school has-been waiting to happen."
  • "You got a zit right there."
  • "Why do they hate me?"
  • "Why don't I fight back?"
  • "Why do I act like such a creep?"
  • "Why won't he date me?"
  • "Why did I hit him?"
  • "Why do I cry myself to sleep?"
  • "Somebody hug me!"
  • "Somebody fix me!"
  • "Send me a sign, God!"
  • "Give me some hope, here!"
  • "Her dad's loaded - he sells engagement rings."
  • "Her mom did pay for implants."
  • "______, The Almighty."
  • "She is a mythic bitch!"
  • "I'd give anything to be like that."
  • "Grow up, _________ Bulimia is so '87."
  • "Maybe you should see a doctor, ________."
  • "I crave a boon."
  • "Shut up, ________!"
  • "For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure."
  • "If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important."
  • "You could stand to lose a few pounds."
  • "Out of my way, geek!"
  • "I don't want trouble!"
  • "You're gonna die at 3PM!"
  • "Don't you dare touch me!"
  • "Get away, pervert!"
  • "What did I ever do to them?"
  • "Who could survive this?"
  • "I can't escape this!"
  • "I think I'm dying!"
  • "You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way!"
  • "Ask me how it feels lookin' like Hell on wheels!"
  • "It's a beautiful fricken' day!"

Well @grandint tagged me to do this. Secretly I think you’re cool but I guess it ain’t no secret now. EuG I can’t believe I’m doing this. I got some 10 facts of me right here soooo

1) I once performed at the Sea World Shamu show as one of the background singers. It was one of the Christmas shows

2) when I was little my dad told me that if I sat too close to the TV it would eat me. I obviously don’t believe in that now but I’m still scared to be next to it

3) I named my turtle turquoise named after the one in blues clues

4) honestly my first gay crush was misty from pokemon 

5) I remember going to the science museum and seeing myself on their multiple poster ads. This was because when I was in homeschool they took a  picture of me holding one of the habitats that I made

6) I cry at movies even though I don’t look like it

7) I broke someone’s arm when I was younger.  Won’t tell you how 

8) I have the same name as my mum so I’m a Jr

9) I’m the youngest but the tallest out my friend group

10) I’ve learned how to  code ever since I was little cause my dad was an aerospace engineer so if u need a hacker im the guy

Erm I don’t know that many people on here so I’ll guess I tag @voidserpent @gummynummies @imbackbeafraid and I guess @dr-simi . Give me ten interesting facts about yourselves bois

  • Mark: AH! Mr. Zhang! What are you doing in the NCT dorms
  • Lay: Shhh... I'm avoiding discussing politics with my group.
  • Johnny: Hey yeah I have a question about that actually -
  • Lay: Shhh very secret much hiding
  • Johnny: Okay but -
  • Lay: I'm not here!
  • Mark: This is great! Can you tell Minseok not to forget to play catch with me?
  • Lay: UH WOW LOOK AT THE TIME... son, your father and I are very busy... -stuffing Winwin in his bag- and I have to leave right now immediately.
  • Mark: But he promised! And hey that's ours!
  • Johnny: There, there... don't you have another dad?
  • Mark: Oh yeah! I should text him! He's probably just sitting around in China pretending not to have a son with a kpop idol. Gotta love him.
  • Mark: Different Mark
  • Taeyong: Okay sure but my scandal punch card only needs three more before I can -
  • Winwin: Bye guys I'm going to meet Sehun :)
  • Lay: Shhh I was never here

Who will I be for my daughter? This little baby, she means the world to me
Will I relive their mistakes? Or do things the right way? For her sake!

I am free now. Free to live without my fears. I believe now. There’s a reason why I’m here.

anonymous asked:

Do you think that women either grown-ups or teenage girls who are single mothers are brave? I'm a teenager and I'm about to be a single mom and sorry for saying it right now haha but I love you and I'm going to name my baby girl Lisa<3

I mean my grandma had my dad when she was 18. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t even be here right now. I know it’s not ideal but human life is the most valuable thing in the universe, at least to me. I think all mothers are brave for sure and they deserve respect and support and love because they need it just as much as anybody else. Life is messy man. It rarely works out the most convenient way possible and we just gotta roll with that. Anyway I’m really thankful to be here and I’m really proud of anyone who raised a kid(s) in tough circumstances, which is actually like all parents if you think about it haha I don’t think we give them enough credit. No parent is perfect, they treat the kids as well as they were treated and we gotta remember that. We can’t give any kind of love we never received. Forgive the people who hurt you, I’m working on doing that. Try to understand that we’re all just doing the best we can in this crazy life….

11x13 in a better AU, somewhere
  • Sam: Got it.
  • Alright it looks like we are dealing with a Quareen.
  • ... They present themselves as your deepest, darkest, desire.
  • Dean (a few minutes later): [chuckles]
  • Sam: What?
  • Dean: Well, the silver lining about being cursed? I finally get some facetime with daisy duke...
  • - 'My deepest, darkest, desire.'
  • Dean: [looking around the room] You find anything?
  • Quareen as Castiel: Hello, Dean.
  • ...
  • Quareen as Castiel: The profound bond we share? It has always been there. I need you, Dean. And your heart. I have always needed you. Just as you need me.
  • Dean: [speechless]
  • You- you aren't him. No matter how nice of a speech you can make [pause] Quareen.
  • Quareen as Castiel: [scoffs] Who I am doesn't matter. The real question is- who are you? A man... so vulnerable that the love you feel is cloaked in repression, fear-- despite the desperate years of longing.
  • Dean: [silence]
  • Quareen as Castiel: Is a heart like yours even worth taking? [smirks]
  • Dean: ...
  • Quareen as Castiel: You can't even admit what you feel. With me, that doesn't matter. He never has to know. Just give in.
  • ...
  • Dean: Yeah, you know what. You're right. Cas- the real one... I sure as hell have something for him. But you are nothing but a cheap imitation.
  • Quareen as Castiel: [frowns, moving forward to attack]
  • ...
  • Dean: [stares in shock]
  • Sam: DEAN?
  • ... I got it. It's done.
  • Dean: [still shaken by seeing a copy of Cas die] You good?
  • Sam: Yeah. Are you good?
  • Dean: Mm-hmm.
  • Sam: [looking at where Dean left, then around in confusion]
  • ...
  • Sam: What was it? Bach or Simpson?
  • Dean: Neither.
  • Sam: Huh.
  • Dean: ... It was Cas.
  • Sam: [knowing look] Does that surprise you?
  • Dean: It doesn't surprise you.
  • Sam: Honestly?
  • Dean: Honestly. What you seriously think that Cas- freakin' Cas man- is my deepest, darkest, desire?
  • Sam: He isn't?
  • Dean: No- I mean... shit. I- I dunno. He's... MY DESIRE? You know? You've known how I felt about uh, Cas?
  • Sam: Yeah, Dean. I've known for awhile now. It's kinda obvious. The staring you guys do? Alone? [snorts] It's okay man. Really.
  • Dean: But he's-
  • Sam: A guy? Dean that doesn't matter. It doesn't make you any different then who you are. Liking girls... guys being bisexual? It's a part of you. I just never knew how to tell you I knew. You get so freaked out.
  • Dean: [eyes shine and his lips part before he says nothing]
  • Sam: If you think I'm gonna blame you or judge you... I'm not. I'm not dad. It's okay Dean, really.
  • Dean: You know I love Cas?
  • Sam: Yes- after all this time? Of course. And I know you've been beating yourself up over it. But where has that gotten you?
  • Dean: ...
  • Sam: [sighs] Just how bad is it? You think he doesn't feel the same?
  • Dean: [swallowing hard] Standing here right now? It's there. Constantly. This... thing that I don't know what to do with. It's been building since hell- [laughs] since the winged bastard dragged my ass outta Hell. And every bone in my body just wants that. To be with him.
  • Sam: [nodding, looking concerned]
  • Dean: But when I'm near him... I just freeze up, when it comes to all that- that stuff. I don't know what to say. Or do. And love? Desire? [laughs bitterly] It's definitely that.
  • Sam: [looks down]
  • Dean: I- I'm screwed man. I want Cas. I need Cas. And I don't think I can tell him- don't know how, where to start.
  • Sam: ... [nods]
  • Dean: I'm sorry to load this all on you, y'know? But when it comes down to it...
  • Sam: I got it Dean. [has thoughtful, sad look]
  • Dean: [blinking back tears and leaves room]
  • Sam: [swallows, releasing a heavy sigh]
  • ...
Being an artist with non-artistic parents
  • Mom: *sees a piece of artwork* you could do that if you wanted to
  • me: y-yeah I mean ? Not really but ok alright
  • Dad: *looking at abstract art in a museum*
  • Dad: *loudly* I could do this in my sleep. It's just colors here and there all willy nilly. Let's go get lunch
  • Me: please.... Just :-) stop
  • Mom: so how's your... Um... Doodling?
  • Me: no
  • Mom: sketch...ing? D-drawing? How's the art coming
  • Me: it's going good I'm working on a new piece right now
  • Mom: oh that's nice honey I'm glad you have a hobby finally
  • Me: :0)yep
  • Dad: wait so how do you make a living as an artist if you're not a painter
  • Me: I- ...do you know what art is?
Preference- Your Child Runs Away
  • A/N: Zayn's is different from all the others and I'm not even sorry
  • Louis: Four times Louis had told your son James not to play football in the house, and yet the mischievous six year old was still kicking around the ball. He had nearly just knocked over one of Louis' Brit awards, and that was the last straw. "That's it! You're grounded, no football for a week," Louis says, taking the football and holding it out of James' reach. "Go to your room." James' eyes get wide; he has never been grounded before. "Dad, that's not fair! That's mine!" "James, I told you four times to stop playing in the house, and you still did. You live in my house, you live by my rules." Your son stomped off to his room, only to come out a few minutes later with his small backpack slung on his shoulders. "Dad, I'm running away," he declares, a determined expression on his face. Louis looks at him skeptically, remembering when he did this same thing when he was six, and decided to do the same thing his mum did to him. "Really, James? Why?" "I can tell that you hate me now. I'll leave so I won't bother you anymore." Louis sighs, a serious expression on his face. "I don't hate you, buddy, but you are six years old. I can't stop you if you really want to leave." James mouth falls open in surprise as he sees his dad reach into his pocket and pull out a few pounds. "Here's some money for the tube, and for a pay phone so you can call us when you get somewhere." The little boy is still speechless as Louis walks him to the front door. "I'll miss you, James. Maybe you can visit on Christmas or something," Louis says when they reach the porch, bending down to give James a hug. "Dad, you're letting me just leave?" James asks incredulously, and Louis nods. "You're six now, James, you're old enough to make your own decisions. If you don't want to live by my rules then I guess you'll just have to find somewhere else to live." James starts walking down the front walkway, taking slow, unsure steps. When he gets to the street, he glances back at his father, watching as Louis gives him one last wave and turns to go back inside. "Dad, wait!" He cries, running back up to him and jumping into Louis' waiting arms. "Dad, I'm really sorry I played football in the house. Please don't make me leave." Louis picks his son up, holding him tight to his chest. "I won't, James. I could never let you just leave. You're my partner against mum and your sister. If you left, I'd be all alone." The two go back inside, deciding to forget all about James' punishment.
  • Niall: "Shit." Niall cursed to himself when he opened up your six year old daughter Emily's room to find it empty and the window wide open. He had sent her to her room ten minutes ago after he found her eating a bowl of ice cream before dinner, even though she had been told multiple times not to. Niall had been having a rough day, having just got back from a small tour in America and being jet lagged, so when he discovered his daughter disobeying him, he let his temper get the best of him and scolded her rather loudly, causing the small girl to burst into tears and run into her room. Niall had calmed down a bit before going to Emily's room to talk to her, only to find her missing. His heart pounded in fear as he ran outside, frantically calling her name as he ran down the block. He reaches the end of the block and halfway through the next before he hears the familiar whimpers of his little girl. "Emmy," He says, his heartbeat slowing down when he sees her sitting against a tree, clutching her Hello Kitty book bag to her chest. She looks up at her father's voice, quickly running into his open arms, her tears creating a wet spot on his shirt. "'M sorry, daddy, I was gonna come back, promise, but I got lost and couldn't see home anymore," she mumbles, and Niall gently rubs her back, picking up her book bag as he starts to walk back to his house. "It's alright, Princess, I'm here. Daddy's got you," he whispers to her, "Don't you ever do that again, Emmy. I was so scared." Emily bring her head up to look at him, their identical eyes locking. "I'm sorry, daddy. I love you." Niall chuckles lightly, kissing her cheek as he responds. "I love you, too, Princess. Daddy's sorry for yellin' at ya earlier."
  • Zayn: You had passed away from cancer about a year earlier, leaving Zayn and fifteen year old Ally alone, and lately, the two have been distant and rude with each other, not quite knowing how to cope with their feelings without you there. So, when Zayn comes home from the studio one day to find the house empty and quiet, he doesn't think much of it, as Ally was often out with her friends or boyfriend, Hayden. However, when it got to be the next morning, and he still had not heard a word from his daughter, he began to panic, calling her cell multiple times only to get sent straight to voicemail. By lunch, he had gotten the police involved, filing a missing persons report, and he felt awful. This is his fault, if he had been closer to Ally and actually spent time with her then this wouldn't have happened. For the millionth time, he wished that you were here, because he was honest to God terrified and needed your comfort right now. Finally, at 10:08 PM, he got a call from an unknown number and picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" "...Daddy?" Relief courses through Zayn's veins at his daughters voice, although he is still slightly angry. "Ally, where the hell are you? I've the police looking--" he suddenly stops at the sound of Ally sobbing, and his anger quickly vanishes. "Ally, what's wrong? Where are you?" "Dad, I'm at some gas station next to the Super 8 motel a few towns over, you know? H-Hayden wanted me to run away with him because he told me it would help me deal with mum being gone and I said yes, because I'm tired of feeling like this, and you never comfort me anymore or anything, I felt like Hayden was the only one who cares about me." Zayn starts to interrupt, but Ally just continues. "B-but he doesn't, daddy, he brought me to this motel and tried to--tried to do stuff I didn't want to do, and when I refused, he got mad and hit me, and that's when I came here. I wanna come home, dad, I'm scared." Zayn's heart broke as he stood up and grabbed his keys, keeping his phone to his ear as he slips on his jacket. "It's alright, love, I'm on my way to get you right now. Does Hayden know you're there?" "I-I don't know, I don't think so, but he seemed pretty mad when I left, I'm scared he's gonna hurt me again, dad." Zayn's already in his car at this point, on his way to daughter. "Just stay on the phone with me, alright, Ally? I'll be there as soon as I can." His daughter hiccups on the other end, and Zayn continues talking to calm her down. "And for the record, I love you so so much Ally. I am so proud of everything you have done. I know I've been shit at showing it lately, but it's true, and I promise we'll fix our relationship. How about tomorrow, you and I go and see mum, yeah?"
  • Liam: "Dad, dad hurry up, it's almost starting!" Four year old Andrew said, tugging on Liam's pant leg. Liam doesn't look down at his son, too focused on his two month old daughter fussing in his arms. "Just a minute, Andy. Let me get your sister to sleep and then I'll be out to watch cartoons with you." Andy's face falls; Saturdays are usually Andy-Liam time, but ever since the baby came, he's had to learn to share you and Liam, an he wasn't used to it. "But Dad, Superman's already on TV!" This happens for ten more minutes before Liam finally gets frustrated with everything going on and snaps at the little boy. "I said in a minute, Andy! If you can't stay quiet until your sister gets to sleep then you won't be watching cartoons at all!" Andy's brown eyes fill with tears as he rushes out of the room, and Liam finally gets the baby to sleep a few minutes later. However, when he quietly closes her door and goes out to the living room, Andy is nowhere in sight-- and the front door is wide open. Liam's heart pounds as he rushes outside, contemplating what to do, not wanting to leave a tiny baby home alone, but still wanting to find his son. His eyes scan down the block, eventually spotting the small boy running down the sidewalk, towards the busy intersection. Liam sprints to catch up to him, shouting, "Andrew Joseph Payne! Do not take another step!" Andy freezes, his brown eyes widening. He's never been yelled at by his dad before. When Liam reaches him, he kneels to his level, a stern and angry expression on his face. "What were you thinking?! You know you're not supposed to leave the house without me or mummy, especially to cross the intersection!" Andy's bottom lip trembles , tears spilling down his cheeks. "D-daddy, you don't love me anymore. You forget about me all the time and you only love sissy now." Liam sighs, his expression softening as he brings the small boy into his arms. "Andy, you know that is not true at all. Sissy is just a little baby, she needs mine and mummy's help more than you right now. I love you so much, buddy." Andy wipes his eyes as Liam stands and begins making his way back home. "How much, daddy?" He asks, looking up at Liam hopefully. Liam laughs, moving Andy so he is sitting on his shoulders, just like he likes. "I love you to infinity and beyond, Andy."
  • Harry: The minute Harry steps through the front door after work, his fourteen year old daughter Paige rushes up to him, a frantic look on her face. "Dad, dad, I can't find Darcy anywhere, she's gone, I'm sorry-" An image of his four year old daughter Darcy pops up in his mind, worry creeping into his veins, but he knows he has to stay calm. "What do you mean, she's gone? What happened?" "Um, she was mad that I wouldn't play her princess game with her because I was right in the middle of putting Charlie down for his nap, and when I came out of his room, she was gone, I looked everywhere, even under all of the beds and in the cupboards." Harry sighs, closing his eyes as he rubs his temples, wondering why this had to happen on the one day Harry got home before you. "Alright, you stay here with Charlie and I'll go look outside," he tells Paige, and she nods, chewing her lip nervously. Harry turns around and exits the house, his mind working in overdrive. He tries to think of where he would go if he was an angry four year old, and it takes only a few minutes for Harry to figure out exactly where his daughter is. He makes his way over to the small, hidden fort he had built for Darcy a couple weeks and kneels down so he can knock lightly on the door. "Darc? You in there? It's daddy." A small sniffle is heard from inside before he door is swung open, a small body quickly flinging itself into Harry's arms. "Hiya, daddy!" Harry chuckles, kissing the top of her head before pulling back to look in her eyes. "Darc, you really scared Paige. She couldn't find you anywhere, she was very worried. Why didn't you tell her you were going to play out here?" Her tiny eyebrows furrow, a pout forming on her lips. "She told me not to bug her anymore or she'd tell Santa I was naughty." Harry laughed again, picking Darcy up as he stands and begins making his way back to the house. "Don't worry, Darc, Santa knows you were very good this year. Now, lets go apologize to your sister."
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