i'm not happy at all with nick right now for keeping him in the dark

anonymous asked:

I'm so sic and tired of the same hp tropes. Have you read anything weird, cross? Not like, crack, but just off the beaten path? Please, I'm suffering here.

Hmm, well I haven’t had time to read all that much fanfic period lately but here are some that felt kind of… unique to me? Not exactly ‘weird’, just really good and not a trope I read all the time. Also included a few FBaWtFT fics so if those aren’t your cup of tea, just skip past the first four. Hope you enjoy :)

The Cigarette Case by AgentMalkere

Apparently even Gellert Grindelwald isn’t immune to a niffler’s sticky paws.

(In which Newt was not expecting to find Percival Graves in a stolen cigarette case.)

Menagerie by prosodiical

Newt comes to New York with only one purpose in mind: find out what happened to the real Percival Graves.

They’ve tried it the hard way; Theseus has been pressing MACUSA for weeks, but they won’t do anything against the word of Graves himself. Newt’s approach is a last-resort, but he’ll do anything to save the man he loves, and so - he opens his case.

Dearly Beloved by prosodiical

or: Five times Percival Graves said he was married, and one time Tina believed him.

When Director Graves starts elaborating on his supposed husband, the entire department is even more certain he doesn’t exist - an author and a dragon tamer, who’s somehow captured a creature that can kill a hundred wizards at a time? And what sort of name is Newt, anyway?

Tina’s one of them - at least, until Newt Scamander, magizoologist, shows up in New York and lets a Niffler loose. And when he realises Graves has been replaced by an imposter, things only get more complicated from there.

The Graves Identity by Mishafied

He doesn’t remember who he is or how he ended up injured in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness; all he knows is his name is Percival, and he owes his life to the shy, redheaded zoologist who saved him. But unfortunately, just because he doesn’t remember his past doesn’t mean it can’t come back to haunt him.

This is the story of how Percival got his happily ever after, and then had to fight to keep it.

Hogwarts, to welcome you home by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)

“You understand, Professor,” Harry began, after a moment, “that I don’t have my N.E.W.T.s. I don’t even have my O.W.L.s. Between everything I never had a chance the first time around, and then afterwards there didn’t seem to be much point. Hermione argued for it, of course, but I was so tired of Britain. So technically, I am completely unqualified for the position.”

“Quite a way to begin an interview, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall said dryly.

Or, three years after the war, Harry Potter becomes Hogwarts’ newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.

The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer

For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would become a Dark Lord. For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would take down the Ministry or die trying. He should have known that Hermione and Ron wouldn’t let him do it alone.

Charlotte the Great and Powerful by Evandar

Her whole life has been about gaining power through struggle and sacrifice and manipulation of the only thing she has going for her (Charlotte’s a terrible person beneath the pretty face and she knows it).

Charlotte wants to be more than the girl from the cupboard and she’s not above using others to gain power.

Gelosaþ in Écnesse by Batsutousai

Caught in the backlash of Voldemort’s Killing Curse, Harry is thrown through time to a world so very different from his own.

The Love of a Good Wizard by SweetSorcery

History of Magic has something to teach after all, and two resourceful students decide that the key to having any future at all lies in the past, and in Tom Riddle’s heart. Assuming he has one.

Influence of Souls by Nia_River

He stared at his journal, a creation into which he had poured his memories and dreams, his heart and … soul. Now, to send it to where it needed to be.

Hell To Raise by Tozette

All Harry knew that day was that his Aunt Petunia had begun to scream. When he came from his cupboard to see what was wrong, he found her sitting pale and distraught on the spotless kitchen tiles. She was gibbering as that evening’s three-kilogram chicken dinner did a rather acrobatic tap-dancing lap of the room, squawked loudly, and then fled through the window and out into the back yard.

—————-

In which Harry Potter animates the dead. Dumbledore disapproves. Other forces… not so much.

Don’t Fuck With Florists (They’ll Fuck You Up) by MayMarlow

Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.

Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.

What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.

the girl who lived (again) by dirgewithoutmusic

Peeves, though he was nasty about everything else–ickle firsties and orphan girls–got it immediately. For all six years of Harry’s Hogwarts tenure, he dropped water balloons on the heads of anyone who misgendered her.

Professor Binns never quite figured it out, but he didn’t know any student’s name. Nearly Headless Nick gallantly and somewhat awkwardly called her lady and tried to hold open doors for her, despite the fact that he couldn’t open them.

Snape called Harry “Mr. Potter” for all seven years that he was in Harry’s life. Around year three, Ron stopped counting the detentions he got for his increasingly sarcastic responses to this.

Rise Above by Straight_Outta_Hobbiton

For once, Harry has taken advantage of his enormous wealth and used it to talk to a solicitor. He finds out a few things— namely, the fact that his participation in the Triwizard Tournament has rendered him an emancipated minor and the last Lord of the Potters. Being the Lord of the Potters means a lot of things, but most importantly, it means Harry can get the hell outta dodge, and his friends can come along, too.

Thus begins the new life of the Golden Trio. They’re in America, they’re in California, they’re in Berkeley. Let the good times roll.

Harry Potter and the Really Round-About Way of Finding a Horcrux by floweringjudas (manipulant)

One should know better than to involve oneself in Weasley Family Skirmishes, even as a messenger. It always ends badly. …Or really well, depending on your perspective.

A Lightning’s Tale by Riddle_Master_101

Harry Potter is abruptly thrown into a different world upon receiving his letter from Hogwarts. Danger stalks him at every turn, light and dark are locked in a constant, eternal battle, and weaving it all together is this substance called magic…

potatoes-tomatoes  asked:

"I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified" (Wilde Hopps eeeyyy)

Winning Hand

Otherwise Titled: Judy is Remarkable and Nick is Royally Screwed

Fondly dedicated to my very good friend (and recent WildeHopps shipper) obbsessedturtle.


It’s early in their partnership that Nick decides, against all fraction of a doubt, that he likes Judy Hopps.

She’s not his type, Finnick would have told him. Had told him. Confident, intelligent, somewhat of an adrenaline junkie, a lover of all things justice with a cherry on top. Someone who’s out of his league by more than he can account for. “She’s better than you are,” Finnick tells him one night over a game of poker-

-chips on the table, faces set, game face on-

and Nick had slapped down a losing hand and had told him to go to hell.

It was just another way to say that he agreed. Because he did. Completely and horribly and wholeheartedly.

Judy Hopps was far out of his spectrum when it came to choice of mate, and choosing her, against whatever logic his mind could grab onto, hadn’t been something that he’d had much say in. His mother had always told him that instinct would win. Instinct always won-

-had the winning hand-

and no matter what, Nick would lose to it.

Nick never really lost anything. He’d failed. But he hadn’t lost. The cards were just not dealt much in his favor, and he picked what hands he could and for the most part he left either royally screwed or with a few coins in his pocket.

He never had the winning hand, though. Not ever.

This was the one time he wished he could have.

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