i'm not handling any of this every well

hamdipls  asked:

i recently started iscribble and i'm not handling it very well? is there any tips you can give me? its all very strange and new but i like it! thank you for reading this!!!

iscribble is actually very hard !! but even as a restricted user (since youre new) theres so much you can do with the basic tools available. (theyre p much the only ones i use) my tips for beginners is to not take it too seriously and have fun and just play with every tool till u figure out which one works best for your style ! 
i use pen tool, line tool, and area picker (blending) 

example of line tool:

area picker: your BFF for blending

BOTH!! jazz hands

Everything is White

warning: triggering - talks about death & cancer / swearing.

“Alright Y/N so the scans look good which is great. But we’d still like to keep you over night just to keep an eye on you. But you can leave first thing in the morning, how’s that sound?”

Dr. Andrews was someone I knew very well. He had been looking after me since my first episode in my freshmen year of high school. Now here we are 6 years after I graduated from high school.

“Sounds great doc, thanks again”

“Of course Y/N, get some rest a nurse will be in to check on you later” And with that he was gone just like that.

Everything was white, the walls, the tile floor, the uncomfortable scratchy sheets, my thin socks, the ugly hospital gown. White, White, White, White. It was awfully depressing, especially if you were here almost every other month. I always wondered why hospitals never painted their walls, or added color to their sheets, got comfier socks maybe? I get it that we need to be extra clean, I mean over the top clean but I doubt that has to do with the choice in paint color of the walls.

I was 14 when I had my first episode, I’ve never had a heart attack but when you can physically feel every single beat of your heart- that’s what I picture a heart attack to be like. Yes I am very well aware that’s not how that works. My strongest episode was 274 beats per minute. Any normal person’s heart beats about 90 beats per minute. Just put that into perspective.

My episodes happen anytime, most of the time I pass out because I can’t handle feeling my heart almost popping out of my chest. It throws me into a full on panic attack and the next thing I know I'm waking up surrounded by these white walls. So here I am, 10:30 am back in the hospital because apparently I can’t pick out apples without fainting in the grocery store.


“So we’ll go to the Hospital after the interviews. And then you’ll be done for the day okay?” Andrew said while glancing up from his blackberry while we road down some random high way in New York. Today wasn’t as busy as it could be probably because Andrew knew how over worked I was. I simply nodded while leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

Before I could even fall asleep, the car came to a stop and the door was opening to ear piercing screams. I took a second to compose myself as I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the van flashing my famous smile and threw my hand up saying hello to my beautiful fans. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fans but God fucking damn I’m tired. All of these interviews become a blur after a while. They all ask the same question “Are you single?” “Who inspires you?” “When can we expect new music?” “What is the weirdest gift a fan has ever given you?” It honestly takes all I have in me to not say “Fucking watch the last 100 interviews I’ve done and you  can get all of those answers right there”. I wish they’d ask me more about my music, my aspirations, my life goals, fuck the color of my socks would be fine too that’s just as interesting as their questions.

Interview after interview, same question after same question this went on for 3 hours before I was finally able to get back into the car and head off to my next appearance. I scrolled through twitter noticing all the fan accounts had started to upload candid’s of me arriving and leaving the radio station. “Oh by the way, Hailey called my phone again. Did you not give her your new number?” Andrew said while glancing up from his phone.

“No I didn’t, don’t give it to her please”

“I already did, why don’t you want your girlfriend to have your number”

I groaned as I leaned my head back holding up my phone right on time message after message popped up on my phone.

“Because she won’t fucking leave me alone”

Andrew let out a laugh while shaking his head. “What did I tell you about her? But you were all like, “No man, she’s different she’s not like the Kardashians” bullshit Shawn. Bull-fucking-shit.“ Andrew chuckled along with the rest of the guys in the car who all agreed with Andrew.

"Fuck off”

I knew they were right, but I was lonely. I’ve been lonely, and Hailey is a great girl. She’s very kind and very funny not to mention beautiful- but my fucking God woman everything has to be on social media. Nothing is private, she had to flaunt off our whole relationship to the world pretty much causing world war three between my fans. I don’t love Hailey, I don’t think I ever could. But she’s comfortable, she’s easy. I don’t mean she’s an easy lay, I just mean being with her was easy …at first. Then it became constant nagging, harassing and just annoying. I’ve changed my number three times because of her, and i’m starting to run out of excuses as to why “Andrew” keeps changing my number.

“Oh we’re here, lets go lover boy”


“Ha! I win! the pot is mine!” I giggled as I reached forward on my bed and grabbed all the chocolate coins that were in the middle of my bed. “You suck Y/N” My hospital buddy Noah said while putting his cards down. I giggled as I opened one of the chocolate coins and popped it into my mouth.

“Did you hear who was coming today?” Noah said while grabbing one of the chocolate coins while popping it into his mouth. I nodded no my mouth full of chocolate. “No who?”

It wasn’t new that celebrities would come and visit the hospital. There were a lot of kids here, a lot of really sick kids here. I think it makes them feel like their doing something good for the month- or year when they come and visit us. I’m 23, I’m an adult and I can easily see through their fake smiles as they pass our candy or take selfies. Yes it’s very nice that they take time out of their schedule to come and visit us, but they get to come and go as they please. We come and most of us go- but we don’t get to walk out the doors.

I was lucky, I wasn’t as sick as most of these kids here but I had been in and out of these hospital walls so often I was just as close with them. Noah had Osteosarcoma - aka bone cancer. He always told me he was doing better but I knew he was just being strong. These kids are the strongest people I know. Even though they have seen more of these hospital walls than the outdoors they still had a smile on their faces. They were so strong, every day- every God damn day.

“Shawn Mendes, actually by the screaming downstairs I think he’s here” Noah chuckled as he faced me. “Should we go see him?”

I shrugged as slowly got up grabbing my IV stand. “Can you see my ass” I questioned as I turned my back towards Noah making him laugh. “No you can’t you’re all covered” I giggled as I shuffled my feet across the floor and over to his wheel chair. He took a hold of my IV stand while I pushed him out of my room. We were older than most of the kids, Noah was 19 so he and I got to wander the halls to some extent.

“I’m not going to lie, if I could I would totally sleep with Shawn Mendes” Noah said while opening another chocolate coin. I giggled softly as I pushed him around the corridor. You can hear people “Shh-ing” and high pitched giggles. I pushed Noah inside the cafeteria and parked him next to one of our favorite nurses. Her name was Maria and she made the best peanut butter cookies.

“Oh shit he’s so hot”

Noah language!” Maria hissed making us both laugh.

“Oh shit he’s looking over here, Y/N look at him- he’s looking at you!” Noah gasped as he grabbed my gown tugging it slightly.

His eyes is what I saw first, then his lips. Then his vein on the side of his neck, which lead me to his shoulders. God his shoulders were so broad, and his arms don’t even get me started with his arms. He was wearing a button up short sleeved palm tree shirt and the sleeves hugged his biceps perfectly. I seriously have never seen someone so gorgeous before in my entire life and here I am in this ugly white hospital gown with these disgustingly scratchy socks. My hair wasn’t even brushed and I’m pretty sure I still have my left over make up on from the night prior. Really beautiful seriously Y/N.

A laugh broke me from my daze as I looked down at Noah who had his hand on his leg.

“Wow, could you drool anymore?”

Everyone in the cafeteria laughed at Noah’s joke making a few kids we knew yell things like “Smooth Y/N!” “Nice one Y/N, close your mouth along with your legs!” “Gonna catch some flies in there Y/N! Shut your mouth!”

I rolled my eyes as I glanced back up towards Shawn. He wasn’t laughing, he was just smiling at me. He was starring now, not me. He let out a chuckle before running his hand through his dark curls.

“Alright, alright.. give the beautiful lady in the back a break. Who has some questions”

Wait, did he just call me beautiful?

wild-mare-of-prosecution  asked:

Rough days huh? I'm glad you're feeling better. Any time you're not feeling well, or whatever, my inbox is open, and you can always PM me. :3 Be well, stay safe, and have a great weekend. <3

Yeah… I’ve been having a lot of rough days… too many to handle lately. Thank you so much for being patient and caring for me! I really appreciate it! I wrote a small public explanation about some of the things that were bothering me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/11447173  ….but I’ll be back to posting comic pages every Monday starting next week (June 5th)! Thank you everyone for being patient with me and waiting for me to calm down T^T I really appreciate it! THANK YOU! I AM SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU ALL!! Stay Miraculous! *throws glitter at everyone* 

anonymous asked:

How would you feel about your little/sub giving you back rubs? I'm working on getting my chiropractor degree and I asked daddy if he'd let me rub his back and he told me no that that wasn't something a daddy was supposed to allow. But I just wanted to do it to learn. I'm a more so hands on learner so if I could feel the muscles and bones I'm sure I'd understand more but I dunno. How do you feel about it?

uhm…. i dont really see how this is something a daddy isnt supposed to do….

you may come and rub and handle my back any time. years of hockey dictates that a good rubdown is needed every now and then.

i understand that he thinks its submitting because hes giving over control to your hands, but at the same time.. this is also service submission and I would think that any daddy would want a good backrub from well trained hands.

Its just like having your beard scratched or your cock sucked on… if it feels pleasurable and gives your submissive or little pleasure at the same time, then whats wrong with it?

A good daddy and Dom can still top from the bottom.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm working on this story and I'm having trouble of coming up with stuff and I'm thinking of giving up but I don't want to because I really want to write this story. How do I keep myself from giving up?

So you want to give up because you can’t come up with any ideas for your story, but you really like the concept and want to continue, yet not matter how hard you try, you can’t shake that nagging voice that whispers, “you can’t handle this”? Well, guess what? You absolutely can.

You’ve already admitted to yourself that you really want to write your story, so, write it. Every writer, no matter who they are, gets stuck. Sometimes the ideas don’t flow. Sometimes you hit a wall. Sometimes you come up with an idea that just doesn’t work out. All of that is okay.

Here are few things that might help you out:

  1. Find a sounding board, whether that be a beta reader or a buddy to bounce concepts off of. Find someone who’s interested in what you’re working on and use them as a resource.
  2. Outline. It can be as detailed or as general as you want. An outline is just a guide that may help you discover the path you want your story to take. I wrote up an article on them here.
  3. Get inspired. Read another book in your genre. Watch a movie. Sit down with a TV show. Play a video game. Find something that’ll get those creative juices flowing. A lot of works we see today are inspired by those that came before them. There isn’t really anything that’s entirely original anymore. It’s not about the idea, but what you can do with it.
  4. Write fan fiction. Working with another person’s ideas in their world is a good way to start developing your own.
  5. Take a break. If you really can’t come up with something, it’s possible you may later after you let your mind rest. You’re not a machine. Sometimes great ideas hit you in the weirdest places. Trust me on that one.

Anyway, don’t give up on something you want to do. I hope that helped at least a little.

-Morgan

anonymous asked:

How will the soldier trio react if they saw their wives with other guys?

Umi: “my wife can interact with people of the opposite gender without any ulterior motives that are only assumed because of heteronormativity dictating that romantic interest has to play a role at some point when two people of opposite genders are involved”

Eli: “also my wife’s certainty of her own sexuality lets me know that even if i had competition to fear, it would be not from the male side. i trust her and i know that she can handle things perfectly well on her own so i won’t intervene unless she wants me to”

Maki: “i’m gonna fucking kill him”

princessdressup  asked:

Hi! I'm a senior and I'm really struggling in school and I normally do really well. :( At this point I'm just really discouraged. I have the same teacher twice a day and he gives us the most difficult pop quizzes in both of his classes. I try to study every night for his classes' quiz but I end up falling behind in my other classes. Then other times I study for the quiz and somehow still fail. Any advice? It's AP Bio. and AP Environmental Science if that helps.

Hey!

goatschnitzel  asked:

Do you have any tips of how to handle potentially running into dangerous situations while exploring? I've been exploring for a couple years but haven't run into a serious or life threatening danger quite yet, but as I'm going to go explore in Bulgaria I feel like I may run into more issues there.

This is an excellent question that I cannot possibly answer on a granular level.  Every dangerous situation is different, and each requires a different (particular) response.  In the past few years, I’ve:

  • Nearly fallen through well over a dozen floors, had stairs fall out from under me, had brick walls nearly collapse on top of me, etc.
  • Been charged at by an angry urbanized coyote on the third floor of an asylum in Georgia.
  • Encountered angry scrappers with power tools and few morals who would gladly relieve me of my camera gear if they could.
  • Had giant chunks of plaster fall sixty or more feet and nearly hit me in the head in a derelict movie palace.
  • Been inside a building for over three hours while it burned, the fire moving closer to me.
  • Encountered more dangerous chemicals and gasses than I care to think about.
  • Evaded armed soldiers and cops, jumped over fences with concertina (razor) wire, hid out for hours in a building in subzero temperatures to avoid detection, spoofed PIR motion detectors, and so on.
  • Taken boats across treacherous waterways in the middle of the night.

And so on.  And the only unifying thing in my responses to each situation is that I went with my gut and my instincts.  A few general thoughts though: Don’t attempt buildings that are out of your depth.  I’ve been doing this for 19+ years, and have had time to build up my instincts and intuitions.  Start small, learn how to navigate dangerous spaces, and work your way up to the “bigger”, higher-profile targets.  During your first few years of this, never go anywhere alone, and make sure that everybody in your group has a mobile phone with reception.  Trust your gut, and if something doesn’t feel right, just leave.  No photograph or experience is worth risking your life for (unless you’re me, but I’m nuts).  And finally… always carry superglue.  Because in a pinch, if you sustain a serious injury, gluing it shut can mean the difference between enough time to reach an emergency room and exsanguination.  Good luck, and be safe!