i'm not good at telling stories

5

While rummaging through a box he found in the attic, England uncovers some old photos, along with old memories.

(These took so long to make, I hope you guys like them! I was trying to put subtle stuff in the photos to try and tell a story, I’ve never done it before so it was good practice! I might end up writing something for this if I decide to stop being lazy.)

Because you know, penises are weird.
—  Ravenclaw, while out at dinner with a friend, just as the waiter walks up.

I’M FINE (x)

anonymous asked:

Bucky, can you tell us about one of the times you had to take care of poor, sick, pre-serum Steve? I'm fighting off the last of a virus and could use a good story.

look you guys. i dunno what the hell kinda history books youve been reading about pre-serum steve, but ‘poor sick’ steve was pretty much the literal devil.

i am not joking. he was pretty much the definition of ‘lead you right into temptation’ if you assume that what youre being tempted to do is get in so many fistfights. 

so. many. i coulda really used a sickass robot arm back in the day, because my goodness did i do a lotta punching.

anyway, sick steve went through four stages, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, except he turned from a tiny angry man with the ability to breathe into a tiny angry man with the ability to pass out with zero warning. stage one was called ‘Im Not Sick, I Always Breathe Like This,’ and did indeed involve steve wheezing a lot. usually that was the first sign. but tiny steve had asthma, so sometimes he really did just breathe like that. at this stage, steve would insist that he was ‘fine, bucky, honestly stop glaring at my lungs. you cant even see them.’

the second stage was called ‘So Maybe I Might Be Sick But Im Still Fine Though,’ and pretty much came into play when steve stopped being able to get a whole word out without gasping in the middle. fun fact? steve’s eyebrows did not grow when he got the super serum, so if you think his angry face is bad now, just imagine allll that scowl packed into steve’s itty bitty please-punch-me starter face.

stage three was ‘If Im Dying Im Gonna Go Out The Way I Came In, Screaming And Covered In Blood’ which was the stage where steve, despite the fact that he was supposed to be in bed, would try to sneak out and go do things. this wouldnt be so bad if 1. he wasnt prone to just suddenly passing out when he was sick, or 2. had had any control at all over what came out of his mouth. that thing steve does where if youre doing something he objects to morally, he will 100% of the time come over and inform you that you should be expecting a punch in the near future? yeah. tiny steve did that too. luckily his brain-to-mouth filter was improved by the serum, or im pretty sure he’d have started fights with a lot more than 117 countries and literally every nazi ever. Anyways, he’d try and sneak out, and if he succeeded, he would almost always wind up picking a fight with somebody, because having bad luck and terrible impulse control is what steve do.

the final stage was called ‘Bucky I Promise I Wont Do Anything Stupid, Please Stop Sitting On Me,’ and it was the point at which i started ignoring everything he said until he could say a whole sentence in one breath. 

Imagine that Shay gets to leave the Balmera one day and visit other planets that have been liberated from Zarkon’s empire.

Imagine that as soon as she tells somebody who she is they gasp and cry “You’re THE Shay???” and the whole town receives her with excitement and praise and Shay has no idea what’s going on

until someone tells her that the Yellow Paladin encouraged them to fight back against Zarkon by sharing Shay’s story with them.

And every planet Shay visits, she is received with the same amount of fanfare

because Hunk told the entire galaxy that Shay and her people were heroes.

• lup’s strong moral convictions made me cry
• taako apologizing & standing by his sister made me cry
• merle staying behind made me cry
• lucretia being proud of the good work they were doing by collecting the stories made me cry
• merle telling lucretia she has traits of a leader in her made me cry
• taako calling lup ‘lu lu’ made me cry
• “and she prays for sunrise” made me cry

“whatdoIdowhatdoIdowha”

They were roommates before they were together. And there was a few cute/awkward moments between friends with a secret crush on each other.

2

I just like playing women that are complex chicks, women with a past, or a different approach to life. I’m attracted to the more truth-telling stories about women and how they actually feel. Not all of them are going to be palatable and I love playing parts that I hate playing. I can’t imagine doing a boring girlfriend role - I just don’t know why you’d do them.

ASK ME ANYTHING: TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS EDITION
  • Tim McGraw: The name of my first summer love.
  • Picture To Burn: Someone who's picture I'd like to burn
  • Teardrops On My Guitar: The last time I cried during a song
  • A Place In This World: The Place I'd like to live the most
  • Cold As You: The worst rejection I've ever gotten.
  • The Outside: When did I feel most alone?
  • Tied Together With A Smile: Who is the strongest person I know?
  • Stay Beautiful: Who is the most beautiful person I know?
  • Mary's Song (Oh My My My): The name of my first crush
  • Our Song: A song that means a lot to me.
  • I'm Only Me When I'm With You: A person I can be myself with
  • Invisible: An awkward confession.
  • A Perfectly Good Heart: I'll tell you something sweet about your blog.
  • Fearless: My biggest fear.
  • Fifteen: A memory from when I was fifteen
  • Love Story: A story about something romantic that happened to me.
  • Hey Stephen: The name of my crush
  • White Horse: Have I ever been in love with someone who was taken?
  • You Belong With Me: Which celebrity shoyld see, they belong with me?
  • Breathe: Something I can't breathe without
  • Tell Me Why: A question of mine that has yet to be answered.
  • You're Not Sorry: Something I'm sorry for?
  • Forever & Always: What do I wish to have forever and always?
  • The Best Day: What was the best day so far?
  • Change: What do I want to change about myself?
  • Jump Then Fall: Who's laugh is the best sound I have ever heard?
  • Untouchable: My biggest dream
  • Come In With The Rain: My favourite kind of weather.
  • Superstar: My celebritycrush
  • The Other Side Of The Door: The last person I fought with
  • Mine: The best thing that's ever been mine
  • Sparks Fly: Who captivates my like a fireworkshow?
  • Back To December: If I could go back in time, where would I go?
  • Speak Now: *Insert any question here*
  • Dear John: Something I wanna say to my exboyfriend/girlfriend/crush
  • Mean: The meanest thing someone has ever said to me.
  • The Story Of Us: Tell a story about someone you know
  • Never Grow Up: A memory about growing up
  • Enchanted: Someone who enchants me.
  • Better Than Revenge: Someone you want to teach a lesson
  • Innocent: How easily do I forgive?
  • Haunted: A memory that haunts me.
  • Last kiss: The last person I kissed/wanted to kiss.
  • Long Live: Who will I remember forever?
  • Ours: Who has a pretty little mind?
  • If This Was A Movie: If my life was a movie, who would play me?
  • Superman; If I had any superpower, what would it be?
  • State Of Grace: Who is my achilles' heel?
  • Red: Someone I just can't forget.
  • Treacherous: The most dangerous thing I have ever done
  • I Knew You Were Trouble: The last time I got in trouble
  • All Too Well: Something someone said, I remember all too well
  • 22: My best birthday ever.
  • I almost do: How often do I doubt myself?
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Together: A couple you wish would get back together
  • Stay Stay Stay: Someone you can depend on
  • The Last Time: The Last Time I....*insert something here*
  • Holy Ground: I don't wanna dance, if I'm not dancing with....
  • Sad Beautiful Tragic: Something that makes me sad
  • The Lucky One: My biggest dream
  • Everything Has Changed: Something that has changed about me
  • Starlight: The most marvelous tune
  • Begin Again: What would I do again and again?
  • The Moment I Knew: The moment I knew...*insert something here*
  • Come Back...Be Here: Someone I miss
  • Girl at Home: Have I ever cheated on someone?

hello it’s me again, there’s this musical called “daddy long legs” which if you haven’t heard of it already, go look it up asap

he didn’t ever make her whole, but he was what her mama wanted, and i was everything her father was scared of. the first time she met me she looked me deep in the eyes and said, “you’re real, aren’t you?” and i sort of understood because people these days were plastic and we were just like them sometimes and i sat beside her and said, “yeah,” and heard her sob sob sob while she blurted out that she’s never fucking sure anymore

and in the late late night we would sit together on her bed and we talk about our childhoods, hers spent in dresses that felt like nooses, mine spent hiding from monsters in my head. we would fall asleep with our hands touching and our hair undone and lock the doors and say “you’re real, aren’t you?” every so often and i don’t think we meant to be friends but we were.

and one day i saw her with the boy who would be prince because he was a fucking stunner and he brought a smile to her lips all i could think was oh oh no oh no and in the late late night we went out into the rose thickets and she picked one and put it in my hair and i said, “do you love him” and she couldn’t answer she couldn’t

and her hips were like the rolling ocean and her throat was the white of the moon and her eyes were the blue of skies right at the height of noon and her lips always held onto words like they were poison and when she read my poetry it always felt like i was being touched all over my body and when she sang for me i forgot all my sorrow and we were two colliding star systems with no friction to stop us - i was at proms and parties and breakfasts and never happy until she stepped through the door and on some certain nights even when she had more important things i got her all to myself under trees and trellises and

we were in the empty kitchen laughing and eating a cake our waistlines would hate but both of us pretending like we weren’t living down the barrel of a gun and our laughter swelled to fill the empty places of our broken bodies and we were covered with flour and she was perched like a bird on the counter in this sleek red dress and i slipped my body between her legs to reach for another mouthful and when she cupped her fingers under my chin she kissed me like she was summer and i was the wind and i felt my heart pound like a fire alarm and broke apart from her and she blushed so deep red and tried to explain herself but i couldn’t handle it, i couldn’t, i put my hands on Her Majesty as if she was water and i was lost in the desert, i held her strong and kept her close to my heart and touched every forbidden inch of skin i had been holding myself back from discovering and we kissed and kissed and kissed and her tongue was hot and wet and her teeth nipped against my chest and our dresses got in the way so we shed them like layers of lies until it was just us naked, she and i, pools of cloth at our feet, faces hot and hearts beating so loud we expected to burn down the house. her whole body was so smooth and curved and i was captive and the way she tasted was only matched by the way she writhed and we stayed up reinventing each other’s ideas of heat until it was the early morning and we had to pretend we’d never done anything

and we took dance lessons together and i wore her sleek red dress and it reminded me of the way it felt when she held me and at first we pretended like nothing happened because it was all so complicated i mean i knew she was using me to stop being so empty but goddamn when she laughed i felt the world explode and one day while we were practicing i jokingly partnered her and she paused and pushed back my hair and said “i love you” like it was the last secret she had to keep and we melted to the floor like we were made of candy and her hands were like frightened ice skaters across my skin and she was so uncertain as she ran kisses across my body and she slipped her fingers up alongside the inside of my thighs and inhaled the way i moaned under her and when her tongue found me i forgot we were supposed to be well-behaved and i watched our reflections in the mirror as we ruined each other’s good intentions over and over and over again

and the days ticked by like this and we kissed when we were alone and were best friends when we were in company and her fingers knew how to find the best parts of me in a split instant and our showers were a sin for the waste of hot water and on some nights we just rested against each other and tried to explain away the tired and on some nights we were estranged lovers and on some nights we didn’t speak, just fucked each other so raw that it gave us something real to feel in the morning, cradling our bruises as war medals in a land of machines

and the days ticked by and before he proposed to her he came to me and frowned and said, “i don’t know what she’d like for a ring.” and i said, “it figures” and he laughed about it even though i meant each word to pour like poison down his throat and i helped him pick out a ring i would have been proud of her to wear

and i went to her room that night and said, “are you real?” and she said “as can be” and when i kissed her i couldn’t stop shaking.

loving her was loving the way the world turns and loving sunrises and loving her was loving harder each and every day, loving her was loving a wild animal. it was loving an open wound.

their wedding was beautiful and i cried.

—  queen bee // r.i.d

anonymous asked:

Good evening, Do you think it's still possible for us to win MAMA? The gap is so huge I'm loosing hope :(

Do I think we will lose? Can we still win? Did I .. give up? 

Let me share my story with you, dear. In the past I was mocked for liking BTS and told “they will flop, following a group from a small agency is suicide. You will just get hurt”. Today you will just laugh at such words but back in the days, their words made better sense than my intuition that kept telling me they can make it someday. In the past getting 1 million views on a BTS MV was something we called a goal. Winning a single award was SO HARD. Being mentioned by one Tv show or celebrity was SO RARE. And, you know?! let’s not go back too far in the past. Just last year we had a 10M voting gap in MAMA. Just last year we couldn’t even consider going against such big fandoms. YET, we still won the biggest award: A DAESANG because of WINGS achievements. After BTS’ win, haters said we don’t deserve it and cursed at us and BTS. That’s why this year ARMY tried to make it possible to win the voting too so no hater will be able to breathe a word and our boys will walk proudly to get that award hearing no more obscenities but only cheers. 

Originally posted by gu-oh

 AGAIN! why didn’t I give up back then? Why many ARMYs just like myself didn’t give up? Because even if no one believed in us, no matter how small the achievements Bangtan thanked and trusted us. When they were humiliated they smiled so we will not worry and when we were insulted they felt sorry we liked them and screamed their rage through lyrics, words that could only be told that way. All of this made us believe in ourselves and our boys more. It made us both robust. We were so weak yet our resolution made us so strong. Today we are truly influential but the resolution became frail. Maybe, we are starting to take things for granted?. This thought destroyed many fandoms before us … So remember, always, the success you all see today is no luck. It’s blood, sweat, and tears.  If BTS were the kind to fall quickly, you may not have heard of them today. If ARMY were flimsy this fandom would have never gotten any bigger. SO LISTEN! Don’t think just because the fandom is huge now your voting is insignificant. this is such a cancerous thought when many deem this way we end up losing millions of votes, not just a mere one or two. In this fandom we work hard, stay humble and aim higher. BUT we never give up.

Plainly some months ago no one would have ever given up hearing we had a 1M gap in MAMA. BTS get 500k RTs on one photo on Twitter if just half of them vote with 5 accounts we are set in a matter of seconds. 

Originally posted by frutillito

Think logically & positively ARMY! You are heartier and happier today and can walk straight and be proud. We set more records in this single month than we could ever imagine and are still going hard. I know we all have our circumstances and no one will blame anyone if they don’t vote but … I know how sturdy we became and not using our strength is too regretful

So what do you think? Isn’t it time we turn the tables again? TEAMWORK MAKE THAT FREAKING GAP SHRINK TO HELL! I mean *cough* the dream work ^^ (sorry adrenaline rush. but I meant that too though)

Thus dear, as long as you are an ARMY, NEVER lose hope! 

sleepover friday‼️

hello my fellow buds, I’m sitting in my pjs drinking tea and I thought I would invite you all to have a lil sleepover :^))

•tell me about your crush
•send me confessions
•tell me a story
•send me funny puns/jokes
•recommend me things(movies,music, books,ect)
•would you rathers
•ask me questions
•ask for any kinda advice
•really anything at all!!😛

(I’ll be doing this all night)

6

Clay….Helmet. Your name does not belong on this list. But you need to be here if I’m going to tell my story. If I’m going to explain why I did what I did. Because you aren’t every other guy. You’re different. You’re good, and kind, and decent. And I didn’t deserve to be with someone like you…I never would. I would’ve ruined you.

4

after the last thing i draw Jamie’s immediate response was “AU where instead of captain america for a retainer Elise has batman” 

so here’s five million doodles of Gerome doing very important retainer duties for the little Nohrian princess, he takes his job increDIBLY seriously, thank you. Unlike the other royal sibs and their Awakening!retainers he is definitely the babysitter here, I bet he’d probably be like Jakob except not a butler and five times more straight-faced. 

Reasons to watch Boruto:

Originally posted by dreaming-of-tokyo

I love Sarada so much.

“Darkiplier VS Antisepticeye” is Mark’s Effort to Take Back Control From Dark: A Theory

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about any of Jack’s egos, so this is entirely about Mark’s. Disclaimer 2, Electric Boogaloo: I had my Frosted Mini Wheats like two hours late today, and that threw off my groove, so I’m sorry if I’m less eloquent than usual. Disclaimer III- This Time, It’s Personal: The only reason this isn’t under a read more is because someone told me to do that last time, but they weren’t very nice about it, so now I’m being petty. I’m sorry for being the worst. I still love you guys, though.)

In my last theory, we discussed the possibility that Dark is trying to take back control through more subtle means this time, and that he has a plan that we didn’t get to see during Markiplier TV. He’s been slowly giving hints of his existence in videos, teasing just enough to get people talking. He hasn’t revealed himself outright in any videos since Markiplier TV; he hasn’t denied being in them, either. 

Remember this interaction between @markiplier and @hufflepufftrax?

Mark quickly dispels rumors about Darkiplier when they’re not true. Why, then, would he not clear the air during the chaos of World’s Quietest Let’s Play 4, or any other video that has stirred up the community a great deal more than this photo ever did? The logical train of thought, then, is that these really were Dark appearances and we are supposed to know it. So, if Dark has been going about this so carefully all along, why would he reveal himself by sharing the spotlight in a comedy sketch? The short answer is that he wouldn’t. The reality is… say it with me now… it’s just Mark impersonating Dark!

Yeah, I know, no shock there. You’ve been hearing that since the video dropped. I talked about it when answering an ask, which I’m screenshotting and dropping below for your convenience, because I’m just a nice gal like that.

So now we have to ask, why would Mark do this? If Dark really is starting to take back control, this would be a dangerous time to pull a stunt like this, wouldn’t it? Well, it makes sense when you consider the fact that Mark has all but run out of options. 

Every time Dark is hinted at, the community goes wild. It doesn’t matter how subtle the hint may be- if the lights in the background of a video are red and blue, someone will point it out. Someone will draw him. Someone will get excited. And then, over time, everyone will get excited. 

Even if Mark tried to warn us, it only fueled the fire. Reaching out for help, trying to tell us that Dark is here– it is exactly what Dark wants. So Mark now has to try a different tactic. The only way that Dark can lose at this point is if he loses his allure to the viewers, and the only way to do that is to use his own method against him: Dark is pretending to be Mark, and now Mark is pretending to be Dark in order to discredit him. More specifically, he’s trying to get Dark out of the way, impersonate him, and make a fool out of him. That sounds… familiar, doesn’t it? Have we heard that somewhere before?

What if I change up the tense a little and word it a bit more like this?

“Pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked.”

Originally posted by rubies-and-oaktrees

That rings a few more bells, doesn’t it?

When we put all of these things together, a picture starts to form: Mark kept Dark at bay for years by making him a joke, but then he made the mistake of letting down his guard. Letting him back in. Now, Mark is fighting back using the only method that he has ever known to work. Why wouldn’t it this time? Making silly edits, taking over Mark’s twitter with edgy, emo poetry… it was enough to dissuade the community last time. So what could make it fail now? How could humor no longer be sufficient to drive Dark away?

The key difference this time is that Dark is not simply a wisp of a presence like he was years ago. He can’t be laughed off anymore. He is here. He is real. He is powerful. He does not like to be mocked, and this action from Mark will most definitely have consequences.

And the blame for that, really, falls on all of us. As Mark said all those years ago, we made Dark real.  Back then, he had to resort to humor to keep Dark at bay, because none of us would listen to him when he warned us. Now, history’s repeating itself,  but the outcome isn’t so sure this time. We learned nothing in the process. Now Dark has become too strong, because we, the viewers, keep letting him back in. Mark tries to tell us that Dark is here and we are thrilled about it.

So, really, the question isn’t, “Why would Mark do this?”

The question is, 

Why didn’t we listen?

  • So in one of my classes, my prof has this policy that whenever a student is late in order not to be marked absent he/she must either perform a talent or tell a joke.
  • One morning as the late comers were doing what they could to be exempted there was one more student who came in extra late.
  • So after the 'last' person told his joke which was "I'll be doing a joke (waits ample amount of time)...the elections" (drops mic).
  • She went up to the podium and grabbed the mic.
  • "I guess I'll perform a talent...
  • I know! I'm good at back flips!"
  • That would've been interesting enough but I forgot to mention- She was 8 months pregnant.
  • As she was about to do a backflip the entire lecture class yelled
  • "NOOOOOO!!"
  • And there was this one girl in the back who yelled
  • "THE BABY!"
  • My professor had this fuck-if-she-dies-i-no-longer-have-tenure look on his face.
  • She stood straight up. Took the mic.
  • "That was a joke."
  • Needless to say she was never asked to perform a talent or tell a joke again.
hear me out....Adrien x Kim
  • kim: i promise you right here right now that i am going to fight like hell to make you like me
    • adrien: i already do??? you don’t have to fight for anything
    • kim: FIGHT. LIKE. HELL.
  • nino, marinette, and alya have warned kim in advance about how overbearing adrien’s father can be but kim’s got his bases covered. when he shows up to adrien’s for their first date, he hands gabriel three letters of reference, a printed itinerary, his phone number, his mother’s phone number, and his student ID as a form of insurance. gabriel was too gobsmacked to say no
    • spoiler alert: his three references were nathanael, nino, and alix, and max was the one that made the itinerary for kim after copying all the date ideas kim had written on his arm during history class
  • kim goes to every single one of adrien’s games. every. single. one. fencing. basketball. lacrosse. he’s there with a big sign that says “CHEER FOR MY BOYFRIEND” and he’s screaming the loudest out of everyone. 
    • he got into a little bit of trouble when he did this at adrien’s piano recital and he was asked to leave the auditorium, but it made adrien crack up so hard he forgot about his stage fright
  • adrien has heard about how much of a romantic kim is and how he showered his crushes with gifts whenever he could, and he’s determined to one-up him. so kim’s always opening his locker to find flowers, cards, sweets, movie tickets, and restaurant menus stuffed inside that make kim stick his head inside while he smiles and giggles like an idiot
    • for his birthday, adrien got him these really expensive track shoes and kim lifted him up and spun him around in front of the entire class he was so happy
  • sometimes they just straight up have dates in adrien’s room bc there’s a half-pipe, a basketball hoop for doubles matches, arcade machines, and DVD sets of dozens upon dozens of shoujo animes, and to kim it might as well be heaven on earth
  • they’re constantly working out together. adrien’s not much of a gym rat, but he’s happy jogging with kim in the mornings before school, even though he knows kim is slowing himself down so that adrien can keep up. 
  • there was one day that adrien ran up behind kim and jumped onto his back to scare him, but instead kim just immediately grabbed adrien’s legs, hoisted him up until he was riding piggy back, and started bolting down the hall screaming something about where the emergency was. 
    • adrien doesn’t ever let kim forget it and he constantly embarrasses him when he tells others the story. but the good news is that it becomes a habit for adrien to just jump on his back for a piggy back ride while they switch classes. 
  • the sappiest couple you will ever meet hands down. huge valentine’s day nerds, gigantic PDA fans, will declare their undying love for each other from across the courtyard for everyone to hear, and will not let anyone forget how much they mean to each other