i'm not fond of the killers

anonymous asked:

Headcanons for what the paladins would do if they found out their s/o was petrified of spiders? (I just saw a BIG DADDY in my room) (Not like a daddy long legs like a spindly little fuck with striped legs. Idk what striped legs means but that bitch was huge and scary and I'm scared there's another that'll show it's ugly face soon)

Oh wow anon, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that! I’m absolutely terrified of spiders, so I’m not sure my house would be intact if I’d seen one of those things in my room D:


  • He’s not really scared of them (but he’s not really fond of them either), so he’s usually pretty cool-headed
  • That said, he’d understand how much they affect you and try to be supportive
  • A+ spider-killer right here, he’s always happy to come to your rescue and never complains about it
  • Might tease you a tiny bit, but would never make you feel bad for having the fear you do


  • After living in the desert, he got used to all sorts of bugs real fast so he’s fine with them
  • Is a little worried at how scared you are of them, but tries to be understanding and never pushes you on the fear
  • Normally he’ll try to put it outside if he can, but if not then he’s good at killing them quickly
  • Will 100% scream if one jumps on him though and then swear you to silence


  • He’s totally fine with spiders…as long as they are far, far away from him
  • Seriously, he’s right there with you and thinks they are disgusting, so you’ve found a kindred spirit
  • Of course, this means dealing with them usually turn into mini battles, but he’ll try to defend you as best as he can
  • Please don’t laugh at him if he screams louder than you, he’s trying his best to be brave


  • They’re completely fine with spiders for some reason?? Probably played with them and other bugs when they were little
  • (Also probably used to chase Matt with them since he’s also terrified of them)
  • Would probably tease you some, but if they saw just how scared you were they’d tone it down (also wouldn’t chase you with them)
  • Doesn’t like to kill the creature, if they can help it; will probably pick it up to put it out and complain when you make them wash their hands multiple times before you’ll go near them again


  • He’s not really scared of them, just a little creeped out? Nothing should have that many eyes and legs
  • Don’t worry though, he’ll always be there for you and will take care of any spiders that come around
  • Won’t want to kill them, they may be creepy but it’s not really their fault, so he’s one of the ‘tries to scoop them up and put them outside’ kind of people
  • Might lose some of his nerve if there are multiple spiders, or if the dreaded ‘think you’re hitting one but oh no here’s hundreds of them now’ situation happens
Gajevy -Parenting
  • Gajeel: I wanna be a daddy, please, Levy?
  • Levy: Kids? That's way too much responsibility, we should try out a pet first...
  • Pantherlily: Do I not count as such? I am an animal, by your Earthland standards, and Gajeel takes good care of me.
  • Levy: -sghs- Fine.... but you gotta teach them self defense.
  • Son: Daddy, were you and Uncle Natsu and Aunt Wendy REALLY raised by dragons? The teacher at school says dragons aren't real...
  • Gajeel: WHAT? THAT BITCH, I'LL-
  • Levy: GAJEEL! Sorry, honey, no killing just yet. Yes, dear, dragons were real, some of them were scary, but a few were nice. And I'm sure your grandpa Metalicana would be very fond of you.
  • Son: I'm sorry your daddy is gone, Daddy.
  • Gajeel: - chokes up- I got you now, kiddo, I'm fine.
  • Daughter: Daddy, can you teach me how to braid my hair?
  • Gajeel: Why do you assume I know that?
  • Daughter: Because your hair is long and pretty like Auntie Erzy, and she braids her hair...
  • Gajeel: All right... Asuka, come help me, we're gonna look killer after this.
  • -5 minutes later-
  • Levy: OH MY GOD, Gajeel, what did you do?
  • Gajeel: -in fabulous braids- I taught my baby girl how to do her hair, and I liked it so much, I had her and Asuka braid mine too.
  • Daughter: Can we put makeup on Lily?
  • Levy: YES!- chasing Pantherlily-
  • Pantherlily: - screaming- SAVE ME GAJEEL!
  • Gajeel: -laughing too hard to do anything-
the ghost of st bart's

John nodded off a bit standing upright, his arms crossed, while he leaned against the wall. He was waiting for Sherlock to get test results from Molly Hooper, which as usual, took some time. 

“Here,” said the voice of Lestrade handing him a cup of coffee, “Is he in there, then?”

“Yeah, Molly’s dealing with him.”

“I’m glad she’s gotten over him - makes it easier for her at least.”

“Well, he’s gotten nicer, well, not that nice, but nice for him.”

Lestrade chuckled, hand in his pocket, as he took a sip from his coffee, before he said looking thoughtful, “One of the ladies at the reception told me that there’s a ghost in St Bart’s - never heard a mention of a ghost before - all the years I’ve gone here.”

Keep reading

the avengers having various mini teams within the group that sometimes go off on missions together and tony has dorky code names for each group

here are some of the highlights:

any combo of steve, bucky, sam, and rhodey are the souljaboys

clint and nat are black hawk down also known as “get a room for christ sake”

steve and bucky are the senior citizens also known as “please just fuck already the ust is actually killing me" 

 clint and the twins are "the hawk and his flock" 

nat and wanda are the killer queens

clint and pietro are zinger also known as “why did we let these two work together oh my god”

thor and vision are the worthy ones

anonymous asked:

OMG Amnesiac Hannibal! I'm so fond of oblivious!Hannibal pointing out his own ridiculous tendencies. Like he's see a old picture of his office and say "You said I was a psychiatrist? Painting the office red and adorning it with horns hardly seems like it'd provide comfortable environment for the patients." "Why am I wearing this checkered monster." And later when Will haltingly reveals that Hannibal is actually a serial killer, Hannibal would go "How did no one know, I look really suspicious??"

I am 100% here for this and would read the hell out of it in someone’s else fluff-crack amnesiac story. Someone go write this!

But I kinda think that if I ever write an amnesiac story (which I probably won’t, but IF), I’d be interested in exploring the more serious side of figuring out how much *wouldn’t* change.  Like… arguably, in canon Hannibal wasn’t born whatever he is but became so as a result of childhood trauma.  But even if you lost the memories of that trauma, I would think (without having done any research on the topic) you still have a lifetime of learned impulses and thought patterns, connections you’ve formed in your brain, muscle memory… how much remains?

I can’t imagine Hannibal would wake up suddenly totally capable of feeling normal human emotions. But would he be as closed off as he starts the show? Would he be somewhere in the middle?   I also can’t imagine he’d still have an impulse to eat people, but might still have some form of violent (maybe murderous?) tendencies.  You might still have the bent for possessive behavior but without any real memory of who or what he’s possessive of.

I think that would be interesting.  I think Will’s competing drives would be interesting - to try to bring back the Hannibal he knew, because sure that guy was a monster but he was Will’s monster; to hide the truth of Hannibal from himself altogether; to try to find some middle way of bringing back some of Hannibal but not his worst most destructive qualities.  I think he would miss his Hannibal and oh, how he’d hate himself for that.  

He might not even notice at first how the series of little tests would escalate. One day it’s “hey, Hannibal, which of these shirts do you want to get?” or “hey, Hannibal, where should we eat?”  (Secretly pleased when Hannibal picks the gaudier shirt, secretly dismayed when he picks the diner over the nice restaurant even though Will would actually rather eat diner food).  And then before he’s even entirely realized what he’s doing, its’s escalated to “Hey, oops, I may have sort of escalated us into a fight with two bigger guys in the alley behind some shitty bar, what are you gonna do?  Will you go for the hurt, or the kill?”  And oh, how hard he holds his breath, and holds back himself, waiting to see what the answer will be…

anonymous asked:

I get why Rey would be mad at Kylo for killing his father. But I love when antis love to say he killed her "proxy father." Like she knew him for like 2 seconds. Relax. I'm sure she was sad about his death, but it wasn't like they were super close. Stop saying Han was a father figure to her plz.

Right?!? Omg like yes she was fond of him and their relationship was blossoming into what probably would have been a proxy father relationship but she hardly thought of him as her dad lol she didn’t know him!!! If anything she mourns for what could have been.

And I love Han Solo.

Plus, it’s not as if Kylo is a completely black and white villain. We see how he’s struggling. He’s not the stone cold killer that Vader was. If they go the redemption arc way with him, Rey would see how he’s been emotionally manipulated his whole life by Snoke. Would it take a lot to forgive his actions? Duh he’s done bad shit he’s a VILLAIN! But is it impossible, no.

If people don’t want to ship Reylo, that’s fine. I don’t hold that against them. But acting like the fandom is completely crazy for shipping it as if there’s no signs there or no possibility for redemption is just wrong. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.