I'm currently in the closet, but I kinda want to come out, but I'm not really sure how. My dad doesn't seem to fond of lgbt+ community and neither does my mom. The thing is sometimes when I tell people I'm asexual they FOR SOME REASON think that's a hint that I'm gay, even though I clearly state I'm not straight nor gay. And sorry for such a long question thing.
It’s good to start by just bringing up the subject (”did you know there’s this thing called asexuality?”) to see exactly where your parents’ opinions lie. If you deem it safe enough, you can come out in a multitude of ways. Some people just outright say it, some are more humorous about it (putting it on a cake, telling a joke, etc). If you think it’s not safe for you, I’d advise against coming out. But, you never know. Sometimes parents’ opinions change when their child is involved. As for your friends, that sounds frustrating. Maybe use a metaphor? Mod Paula had a good one about hotdogs :)