i'm not even kidding this is something that is going to be happening

Mike was never a big fan of Valentine’s day. To be quite fair, it may have been his least favorite day of the whole year. It was just a dumb day where his sister would rush off to school to be all grossly romantic with her boyfriend and his parents would be out all night on a romantic dinner that left Nancy to babysit both of the younger kids (her form of babysitting consisted of strict homework time, vegetables for dinner, and early bedtime. What fun) and kids at school teased him with insulting fake Valentine’s cards. The upside, if any, was the cheap drugstore chocolate that went on sale the next day, which he raided with his friends as they pooled their allowances together. With Eleven around, naturally, she had a lot of questions, most of which her best friends answered with enthusiasm and great detail. When she asked the dreaded Valentine’s Day question, Mike Wheeler felt his cheeks burning up before his friends could even open their big mouths in laughter or light teasing. To get out of the question unscathed, he quickly threw together an explanation with hearty emphasis on its stupidity and cheesiness, though quite aware of El’s dissatisfied expression. She didn’t press the matter, to his surprise, and they all went on with their month, dreading the lovey-doviness at school on that stupid holiday. As the day rolled around and the four boys locked their bikes onto the rack, Eleven pulled up quickly afterward—little pink bows and heart hairbands that Hopper had affixed into her curls and a wrinkled paper bag in the basket of her bike. She fished through the bag and proudly handed each of her best friends the specially personalized cards she made (construction paper hearts practically dripping in glitter and lace with carefully penned cheesy poetry and sentiments) along with full sized candy bars. Rolling their eyes playfully at the dorkiness, Lucas, Dustin, and Will hugged and high-fived and fist-pumped her in thanks as they ran off to class. For some odd reason, though, Mike noticed her utterly puzzled expression as she looked for his…. “Hey, El, it’s really no problem if you forgot mine. I’m just..uh…happy to spend the day with you. We can go the arcade or something after school,” he said easily, not really paying attention to the eery smirk appearing on her face. Eleven quickly kissed his cheek, shoved a Valentine into his hands, and chased after the boys before she was late to science class. Mike Wheeler was certain in that moment that his entire brain function shut down, as he could barely focus on the heart-shaped card long enough to read the flowy script on the front— “Roses are red, Violets are blue, Eggos are very sweet, But not as sweet as you”

I need to set myself free.

Hello,
to the dearest of friends.

It’s been a while, huh? I don’t know how many people actually wondered or even guessed what happened to me, but something incredibly moving and important just happened in my life.

I finally saw the truth and decided not to lie anymore.

I’ve been going to a psychologist. I’ve started to take meds to aid me in my daily life to confront anxiety, panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. I can say I’m really making some progresses, even though small.

I’ve always been different from other children, in particular from boys. I’ve had many problems dealing with some feelings that I couldn’t explain to myself or maybe I was too scared to actually deal with them.

I would always run away.
My dad left me at the age of 7. I was seven years old when he left me, my brother and my mother. I was envious of other kids relationship with their fathers.

Why was I the only one without one?
Years passed. I had to deal with continuing harrassment and bullying from my classmates. They would yell at me words that still hurts like poison: faggot. Pussy.

I’m still shacking while writing about it. Incredible how much pain some memories can deal to one person.

At the age of 16 I heard that my father died. It was like knowing a distant relative died in some kind of disaster. I didn’t feel anything, if nothing at all. I was still lying to myself about who I really was.

Suicide was the first thing I’d say “good morning” to and “goodnight” as well. The few friends I had didn’t know. I was alone and scared, ready to bid farewell to a life I didn’t think I deserve to live.

So much pain no one could ever describe.
Rejection.

I can’t seem to stop shacking.

But then, some light decided to touch my pale skin. The sun decided it was the moment to give me just a bit of its light, just because I was existing not because I deserved it.

That was all I was. Empty and scared, almost emotionally deprived if not from the most basic of instincts: fear.

I started to hang out with some of my brother’s friends. I was the elder brother but I seem I couldn’t even be that to my brother, who grew up with the strength I lacked and crave for.

Things got easier.
I got in a new class, with new people. People who didn’t harrass me I wasn’t wearing something cool or wasn’t making fun of me because of my behaviour.

I was free.
But still afraid of them.

I made new friends. I was appreciated and accepted. I was moved. I was grateful that I could even feel something as beautiful as joy.

Now those people chose their path. They were good people, supporting classmates and friends.

Suicidal thoughts returned to me, waving like sinister shadows at me. Anxiety came back as well. Two weeks ago I decided to defeat them, knowing that that would lead me to accept me for what I was.

The mere thought was scary enough to give me stomachaches.

My mother accompanied me. She’s always been a really comforting and supporting figure, as well as a mighty woman. I’ll always be grateful to her. After the meeting with the psychologist, a really professional and understanding man, I decided to change my life.

My mother asked me if everything was alright. I struggled to hold the tears. She was on the brink of tears as well. I was scared, afraid that she would see me differently if she knew, or not love me anymore, even.

But that wasn’t the case.

She said “I love you. No matter what.” firmly, like never before in my life I saw her like that. She didn’t just say “I care about you” but “I love you”. I felt so fragile and tired, but finally free.

Immediately, joy followed. Two days ago I told the truth to the two most important persons in my life: my brother and my best friend.

I cried so much while I was embraced by their understanding and I cried even louder when both of them hugged me. I felt so warm inside, laughter quickly grew in intensity from my mouth, like beautiful and strong flowers.

“We always only had each other, Loris. What brother would I be if I saw you differently just because you’re gay!” he said. “No matter what comes, we’ll be brothers for ever.”
I’m still trying to accept and understand the myself I always ran away from. I decided to meet him.
And also, decided not to lie anymore on this blog and to all those people I consider friends.

Yes, I’m gay.

i am just so ANGRY because MICKEY AND MANDY MILKOVICH WERE GOOD FUCKING PEOPLE who absolutely did not DESERVE what happened to them and they are now not even being treated with the respect and love that THEY SHOULD BE TREATED WITH. after their entire lives being ABUSE VICTIMS this is how they’re sent off the show, are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? and FUCKING SHEILA CALLAWHATEVERTHEFUCK talking about mickey becoming ian’s NURSE like literally shut the fUCK up, how do the WRITERS not even have a grasp on their own fucking character what thE FUCK I AM SO MAD. gOD so he’s finally taking care of the person he loves after literally going through HELL TO BE WITH HIM and now that’s a bad thing????? and he was being overbearing??? and oh oh oh ian just missed the old badass mickey??? didn’t want him to be all soft and gentle but now that he’s gone ian just wants something soft and gentle give me a fUCKING break. and WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IT, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO IAN? HOW COULD YOU DEMOLISH SUCH AN INCREDIBLY WELL-CRAFTED CHARACTER? LIKE WHERE THE FUCK DID IAN GO? see like the ONLY way i’ve been able to interpret his actions is like if ian is still somewhat in love with mickey and the only way he knows how to cope is by distancing himself and trying to convince himself that the relationship wasn’t “real” or all too good or whatever. like i get that. i’ve been there. and it’s a natural coping mechanism. BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT THE WRITERS ARE DOING. THEY ARE FUCKING UP IAN’S CHARACTER AND I’M NOT OKAY WITH IT. BIPOLAR DISORDER DOESN’T CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE THAT, DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT MENTAL DISORDERS ARE??? I’M SICK OF THEM TRYING TO DESTROY IAN GALLAGHER. IT’S NOT REALISTIC AND IM FUCKING MAD BECAUSE THEY ALREADY DID THIS WITH DEBBIE. as SOON as debbie became a teenager they literally threw her character out the window and gave her a new one. what, you think as soon as you get your period you become an entirely different person? AND YOU KNOWS it’s because she’s a girl, because carl is going thru his dumbass teenager phase too but it FITS his personality, as much as we wished he wouldn’t take the criminal lifestyle to heart. but NO debbie is a GIRL so of COURSE SHE HAS TO BECOME THE AIRHEADED HORMONAL TEENAGE GIRL WHO’S OBSESSED WITH BOYS AND WANTS A BABY, like are you FUCKINg kidding me? that is the most un-debbie like storyline ever, and it’s sO overdone, are you really lacking creativity tHAT badly?!?!? oh teenagers have the stereotype of being troublemakers so naturally debbie has to be one of them. YES OKAY MAKE HER REBEL, MAKE HER QUESTION THINGS LIKE A TEENAGER, but she IS STILL DEBBIE FOR FUCKS SAKE. SHES STILL THE SAME PERSON. look at the debbie in season 3 and tell me it’s the same person as the one we’re seeing now. go ahead. i dare you. because there’s a difference between growing up and going through phases, and completely developing a new mindset, a new set of beliefs, and a new fucking personality?!?!?! and NOW THEY’RE TRYING TO DO THE SAME WITH IAN.

YOU WANT TO MAKE THOSE SHITTY CHARACTERS?! GO AHEAD. BUT YOU DON’T GET TO JUST TRANSFORM ALREADY BUILT CHARACTERS INTO THEM. THAT’S NOT HOW HUMANS WORK, YOU UNINFORMED PIECES OF SHIT WITH YOUR SUPPOSEDLY “REALISTIC” SHOW.

EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER WITH DEPTH OUTSIDE THE GALLAGHER FAMILY WAS WRITTEN OFF IN THE MOST SHITTY MANNER EVER.

Karen Jackson? GONE. Sheila Jackson? GONE. Mandy Milkovich? GONE. Mickey Milkovich, who had arguably one of the most beautiful character development arcs in television history? NAH FUCK IT, GONE. 

honestly. part of me is glad they didn’t have the time to fuck up mickey’s character the way they fucked up everyone else’s.

GOD I AM SO MAD.

I wanted to take some preview pictures for the recolor I did on the weekend but created a cute vampire instead because I don’t even know. No energy. I spent the afternoon at the library with my classmates. We had a small project with ten years old kids and there were like, I don’t know, twenty of them? It was fun, I love doing such things. Next week we’re in fact having a sleepover at the library and the librarian said it’s gonna be the same group. So yeah, cool, however when these things are over I always realize how exhausted it actually makes me feel :D I guess I ignore it when I’m around those kids and then they leave and it just hits me.

Anyways, then I came home, turned on the TV and saw the first news about what happened in London. I’m still shocked and just…the older I get the more I can’t understand what’s going on in the world. I hope you are alright, guys. Stay safe.

twenty years from now my kid will come running into the room crying and screaming and throwing things onto the floor and I’ll stand by all horrified and ask over and over “what happened” and they’ll just look at me with betrayal in their eyes, throw the complete box set of avatar the last airbender at me and whisper, “you liar…zutara wasn’t endgame. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN, HOW COULD SHE END UP WITH AANG what about all their chemistry” and I’ll get down real slow and hug them and stroke their hair as they sob. And then I’ll say emotionally, “But they’ll always be together…” Pause as I take a deep breath and place my hand over my heart, “in HERE”

lmao...my poor son

scarred for life…hehehehe

You see, my husband was taking a shower in our bathroom, so I went to pee & change into my jammies in the hallway bathroom…and well…I guess I didn’t press the lock in all the way. My son wanders in, half asleep, and I’m sitting there, halfway through changing, in my bra on the potty. OMG, he threw his arms up over his eyes and screamed “GAH” and ran out of the bathroom…didn’t even close the door…lmfao. Like I was fucking Medusa or something …hahahahaha. Poor kid. Nobody wants to see their mom half naked. Good thing he didn’t walk in 10 seconds later, or the bra would have been off…then he really would have been traumatized.

Actually, I’m amazed I’ve raised three kids to the ages they are, and this actually never happened before. Gonna try and make sure it never happens again…I bet my son remembers to knock from now on…hahahaha

gotta catch ‘em all

pokemon go is finally out in the caribbean yay! my phone however can’t support it no yay! nothing is sacred, god is dead and WHY WON’T MY OS UPDATE ALREADY

anyway idk what this is but please accept my ‘James is a precious Pokemon nerd baby’ fic it’s only slightly ridiculous (…that’s a goddamn lie and we all know it.)

3.1k words

James doesn’t mean to get caught up in a simulated Pokemon virtual reality game okay? It just happened.

He likes Pokemon in a roundabout sort of way of course, because who doesn’t like Pokemon? He remembers being obsessed with Pikachu when he was a kid, when the show was something of a novel. He’s like 80% sure that he went through a phase where everything was Pikachu styled, even down to his birthday party. There don’t seem to be any pictures, at least not ones that he can find, but he highly doubts that a his brain could just magically construct a three year old birthday party, down to the weather and type of cake being eaten.

So yeah, James is pretty fond of Pokemon.

The game is something that catches his eye a couple days after it’s released, mostly because of the influx of strange encounters he’s seen on the Internet, so he downloads it and then spends his Sunday scouring is apartment complex and environs for various Pokemon.

It doesn’t feel like he spent hours, but the next thing he knows, he’s standing in the park with his phone on nine percent, the sun is long gone and he’s pretty sure his stomach consumed itself maybe around three hours ago. And he’s only on level two.

He’s already sort of a disaster, and, according to Sirius, this game is only going to exacerbate that.

(To be honest, he doesn’t mind as long as he manages to catch at least one rare Pokemon before Sirius storms over and steals his phone for his own good.)

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Rambles about Jay's "death"

OK SO IT IS RUMORED THAT JAY WILL SACRIFICE HIMSELF (or gets killed, whichever) IN THIS SEASON.

And we are just halfway through the season gosh.

.

Now ladies and gentlemen(and kids if there’s any around), we all know that Skybound turns out to be even darker than the other seasons, so there’s no doubt that something will definitely happen to one of the Ninja, in which case Jay will be the ultimate victim.

But how will the others react to his death?

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make a wish

Originally posted by jackandjael

Youngjae | 1846 words | can you guess? (it’s fluffy)
You think Youngjae’s forgotten your birthday, but he has a special birthday surprise planned for you.

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3

It’s hard work being Messi.

Every time the ball comes to your feet, something blissful is expected. When something blissful doesn’t happen, the world wonders why. Your very surname has become a synonym for excellence, as exceptional performances become Messiesque, or “That show was Messi!”

It’s a burden that none of us can imagine, even as people leap to the ramparts to either laud, defend or gleefully predict the demise of Messi. Ballon d’Or, best player ever, most this, most that, all of the things that go into the daily rounds of being Messi. In your home country you are debated for very different reasons as the national team is falling short of expectation and people wonder why. Every day, a never-ending blizzard of speculation, doubt, expectation and noise, from every corner of the world. […]

Messi has been dragging Messi around since he was a kid. Everyone has looked to him, everyone has anticipated him, everyone expects everything from him yet even at that, it probably isn’t anywhere near what he expects from himself, even as he knows that attainment of that goal is impossible. […] 

–Kevin Williams