i'm not even kidding this is something that is going to be happening

So, as promised, here’s my list of lesbian movies for all of our lovely followers and the people you want to share it with. I hope I haven’t forgotten any good ones, but if you feel like that is the case, feel free to add movies to the list! 

This is my gift for all of you, I hope you’ll like it ♥

/ Mod W

Tipping the Velvet 

  • based on the book by sarah waters (she has written many lesbian books!)
  • it’s a bbc adapatation
  • technically a mini series but i like to see it as three hours of lesbian content heaven
  • it’s about this girl who falls in love with an actress and she goes to see her at the theatre five billion times until the actress notices her (that’s just the first part, other things happen to the main so watch the rest for more lesbian content~)
  • the main character (nan astley/king) is like… my fave. i love her.
  • the book is very good too!!!
  • honestly i have so much love for this movie/book i get all giddy just thinking of it

Bound

  • lesbian gangster/mob movie do i need to say more???
  • the main actresses are cute af (one of them is a butch lesbian!)
  • it’s awesome and very cool
  • (gonna trigger warn for use of lesbophobic slurs used by some characters/some lesbophobic violence)

Below Her Mouth

  • meh plot with amazing sex scenes basically?
  • a lot of sex scenes
  • i mean it like half the movie is graphic sex so if ur uncomfortable with that you probably shouldn’t watch it lol
  • all female cast
  • willa from wynonna earp!

The Handmaiden

  • also based on a book by sarah waters (called Fingersmith, there’s a bbc adaptation of it too which you should totally check out as well)
  • good quality movie right there
  • (putting a trigger warning here for sexual and psychological abuse and abuse in general)

Kyss Mig

  • one of few good swedish movies
  • basically about two step-sisters who fall in love (they’re not actually related i promise)

But I’m a Cheerleader

  • baby natasha lyonne is in this one! also i have a crush on clea duvall in this movie lol
  • a very cute love story tbh
  • good aesthetic
  • you’ve probably heard of it before but idc cause it’s great
  • (it’s like a satire of conversion therapy so if that’s something you can’t watch i don’t recommend this movie for you in particular)

If These Walls Could Talk 2 

  • a bunch of famous actresses (like chloë sevigny, michelle williams, natasha lyonne, ellen degeneres, etc. etc.)
  • divided in three segments from three different periods in time
  • one segment is set during the feminist movement in the 70s and features chloë sevigny as a butch lesbian with a motorcycle do i even need to say more??

Anatomy of a Love Seen

  • this is about two actresses who were a couple when they shot a movie together and now they have to go back and re-shoot some love scenes but they’re not a couple anymore and it’s sad af
  • i have basically never seen this movie in any rec lists but it’s actually one of my faves and i cry so much to this movie tbh

Saving Face

  • this is a good one
  • also pretty funny tbh!
  • it’s about a doctor who falls in love with a dancer and the doctor’s relationship with her conservative mom
  • it’s kind of rom-comish

Lost and Delirious

  • warning: very sad like super sad?
  • it’s about a girl who goes to a boarding school and so happens to become roommates with a lesbian couple
  • teen angst squared and multiplied with gay panic

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls In Love

  • you may have heard of this one but if you haven’t it’s time you watch it
  • that woman who plays tina on the l word is a butch-ish girl in this one
  • VERY CUTE and chill
  • every time i watch this it feels like this movie is the director’s BABY like it seems like she cares about this story so much and it makes the movie feel so genuine and lovely
  • i want every baby lesbian to watch this, please, it’s my gift to you.

D.E.B.S.

  • you may have heard of this one too but if you haven’t seen it yet it’s definitely worth a watch!
  • lesbian spies!
  • the heroine falls in love with the villain (that enemies to lovers trope tho!!)

Desert Hearts

  • old but good!
  • i feel like this movie is on most of these long rec lists but people probably don’t watch it cause it’s old but it is actually pretty good!
  • your classic “oops i thought i was straight but that woman is hot” story

Margarita With a Straw

  • indian girl figures out she’s bi when she goes to uni in new york and meets a lesbian girl
  • cute, funny, sad, it has everything tbh
  • The Hours (actually one of my all-time favorite movies/books!)
  • The Intervention
  • The Kids Are All Right
  • The Children’s Hour
  • Elena Undone
  • Fucking Åmål 

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao

anonymous asked:

Do you have like a checklist or something of things that need to be done before you can move out? I have over a year to get ready, but I'm not certain what "ready" means exactly. What needs to happen before a person can live on their own (in the USA)? Thanks for answering, love your blog!

I’m realizing now that I have lots of posts that detail different parts of this moving into a new apartment process, but none that discuss everything. So this post is essentially a conglomerate of four different posts: Adulting 108Moving (On Your Own), Living On Your Own, and Apartment Hunting 101.

But here they are, in step by step order! Enjoy!

Finding an Apartment (Apartment Hunting 101)

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Apartment Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.

Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Applying to Rent the Apartment

Overview: After choosing an apartment that you like, there are lots of steps that need to be taken before you can actually move in. 

1. Rental application. You will need to fill out some sort of rental application when applying for an apartment. You’ll be asked for previous addresses (if you’ve lived in previous apartment complexes landlords will actually call and ask about how good of a tenant you were), if you’ve been convicted of a crime, pay stubs, references and/or credit information. If you don’t have a credit score, some complexes will require you to co-sign the lease with someone who does, like a parent. If a landlord does NOT ask you to fill out any kind of application, I’d advise you to run for the hills and not rent from them.

2. Approval. Apartment complexes will mail you a packet of information after you’ve been approved. This will list your new address, what power company services are available, apartment amenities, school districts, local attractions, as well as your next steps. My current apartment complex also mailed me what Internet providers are available, which was a nice extra bonus.

3. Initial expenses. Your next step will be to put down a “security deposit”. This will either be exactly the same or very close to the amount you pay for rent monthly. This deposit ensures that you don’t destroy the apartment, if you do they won’t refund you. You will also be asked to pay your first month’s rent in advance. Most rental companies will only accept money orders for these initial expenses, you have to go to your bank to get these. They’re essentially checks that take the money out of your account right away.

4. Apartment check. After you’re approved for an apartment, ask to see the actual unit that you’ll be moving into. Make sure that you see said apartment before signing any lease. Notice how loud your neighbors are, how good of a cell signal you have, the condition of the apartment, etc. This is a pretty extensive list.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

  • DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
  • Your doctor’s office
  • Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
  • Your credit/debit card company
  • Your bank
  • Your phone company
  • Any government programs you’re a part of
  • Any companies that you have loans with
  • Your health insurance company
  • Your auto insurance company
  • Amazon

4. Pre-move in List. Make a shopping list of all the non-perishable items you will need before moving in. I’m talking trash cans, first aid kits, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc. I like to work on this list over the span of several days, and do a large shop before moving in. Your moving day will be stressful enough as it is, don’t add the stress of missing something you need. Here’s a pretty good list.

5. Electric set-up. Use the information packed your landlord sent you to find out who your electricity provider is. Call them, you’ll probably get a pre-recorded message. Choose the option that says something along the lines of “set up electricity”. You will be connected to an actual human being, who will ask you to read your new address. Tell them to turn on power to your apartment a couple days before you move in. They will set up a billing plan with you (ask to be put on a budget, it’ll save you lots of money) and give you your account information.

6. Internet set-up. Setting up your internet is similar to setting up your electric, but a bit more hand’s on. Most cable/internet companies always have some sort of deal going on, a year or two years of discounted service. Be aware of when this discount will end, and contact the company to see if they can offer you a new deal. If Verizon is offered in your area, I strongly advise you to use them for Internet service. i was on a two year plan with them that saved us $40 a month on internet service, and after it ended they put us on a new plan that is now saving us $42 a month. Fuck yeah! Also make sure to set your internet installation date for the day after you move in, so that you’re not stuck sitting in your internet-less apartment, unable to read my blog. Know that most internet companies charge installation and routers fees, and if you complain enough they’ll drop one or both of these. Just be like “I’m a poor college student” or threaten to go to another internet company.  

7. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

8. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your ex-landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

9. Signing the Lease. The last thing you will do before moving into your new apartment is signing a lease. You will be given a copy of the lease to keep, as well as the key to your apartment and/or laundry key. Keep your copy of the lease in a safe place, and make sure to get duplicates of your apartment keys.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. During your first few days moved into you new apartment, look around and make note of anything wrong. Outlets that don’t work, scratches on the wall, peeling paint, etc. Report these ASAP to your landlord to be fixed. This will give you a good idea of how put together their maintenance unit is. Make sure to offer maintenance workers water and be polite to them when they’re fixing anything in your apartment.

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

"copycat” still really bothers me

i’m sure i’m not the first person to notice this but i’m rewatching the show and the episode “copycat” just gets me so annoyed and irritated because of how adrien was written in that episode. this is probably the episode where we have the most blatant, explicit evidence of one of adrien’s flaws (i.e. his jealousy) and he is at no point forced to be held accountable for his actions. 

adrien quite literally causes an akuma because of his jealousy. but he is not forced to apologize to theo for lying about his relationship with ladybug, he’s not forced to apologize to ladybug for lying about said relationship without her consent, and adrien himself is not allowed time in the episode to acknowledge his jealousy, find fault in it, and learn from his mistake. 

adrien as a character already has this annoying habit of being presented as the “perfect boy” who very rarely makes mistakes and is idolized for it. not just by marinette. by pretty much everyone. “jackady” had this really strange scene where gabriel and ladybug were staring at adrien’s modeling shots and gushing about how “flawless” and “perfect” he is. and most of adrien’s arguably negative qualities (e.g. his occassional inability to take things seriously in battle, his naivete, his occasional impulsiveness as chat noir, etc.) are often presented in ways that either make us sympathize with his behavior or find it endearing. 

“copycat” is probably one of the only (if not the only) episodes where adrien is very clearly doing something wrong. he’s angry that theo likes ladybug so much so he lies about his relationship with ladybug and tells theo they’re a thing so that he can back off and chat noir can have ladybug all to himself. 

the problem is that the show doesn’t call out adrien for this jealousy. about the only time it does is when plagg makes a dig at him right when adrien realizes who the akuma is. 

and despite this, adrien merely rolls his eyes at plagg and scoffs at the comment as if it’s a joke. that was the perfect opportunity for adrien to take just a few seconds to say “you’re right. i should’ve never lied and let myself get jealous. that was wrong of me.”

about the best we can get is when chat noir acknowledges that he was the one who caused the akuma so he’s the one who has to go and get himself out of it. but at no point does he tell ladybug why this happened (especially because it involves her) and at no point does he vocalize the mistake he made, i.e. the fact that he let his jealousy take over. 

then this is where the episode really starts to bother me

he calls out ladybug for not showing up to the statue unveiling. they actually make chat noir take time in the middle of his screw up to basically tell ladybug “well maybe you’d know what’s going on if you showed up this morning.” ladybug had done nothing wrong in regards to this akuma. we’re dealing with her phone stealing and her bad time management on the side, but this has nothing to do with the akuma. if anyone’s mistakes should be being highlighted here, it’s adrien’s. 

but the episode continues to just let adrien get away with the fact that he lied. ladybug praises chat noir for his honesty and for the fact that he’s never lied to ladybug about anything (hello, irony) and normally this would be a pretty good moment for chat noir to at least look guilty. but instead he merely thanks her for the compliment and continues fighting anyway. 

and then it gets even worse because the one who apologizes at the end of the episode is ladybug!! she apologizes to theo for not showing up to the unveiling! which, fine ok, but where was adrien’s apology? where was his opportunity to explain to ladybug that he messed up for lying about their relationship, causing this akuma, and putting ladybug in danger?

it’s replaced with chat noir’s angst about his crush not being returned. 

we feel bad for him at the end of this episode because his “crush was crushed.” let alone that he let his jealousy get the better of him and lied to a stranger about ladybug and his relationship behind her back. we end the episode feeling sympathy for chat noir because ladybug doesn’t feel the same way for him. mr. perfect finally has an episode where he screws up and the show does not allow him to take sufficient responsibility for it and own up to his mistake. 

and it further annoys me that this happened because anytime marinette messes up, she almost always apologizes. when she didn’t listen to chloe and caused her to be akumatized? she apologized to her for not listening to her. when she yelled at lila and caused her to be akumatized because of her own jealousy? she apologized to lila for being so mean to her. marinette is continuously asked to own up to her mistakes and apologize for them (as she should) meanwhile the one time adrien screws up, he gets let off for it. 

idk man, it just gets me upset that adrien got it so easy in this episode. he should’ve apologized to theo. he should’ve told ladybug the truth. he should’ve owned up to the fact that his jealousy was totally unwarranted. 

Let Me Help

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

Keep reading

This is what “balancing the Force” looks like:

I wrote a 25-page paper on Star Wars arguing that “bringing balance to the Force” didn’t mean “the Jedi will be 100% in control” (and of course not the opposite) but bringing the two aspects of the Force into alignment, using Anakin as a case study. Brief recap of my paper:

  • EPISODE I
    • The Jedi literally don’t know that slavery still exists in the galaxy and are shocked when Shmi says “The Republic doesn’t exist out here… We must survive on our own.” So like… the fuck.
    • Anakin asks Qui-Gon “Have you come to free us?” and Qui-Gon says “No, I’m afraid not,” to which Anakin replies, “Why else would you be here?” Here we can see the innocence and goodness in Anakin juxtaposed against the moral ambiguity of the Jedi. They’re there for repairs on their ship - nothing more, nothing less. Witnessing slavery does nothing to change those priorities.
    • The Jedi take a child away from his mother, and when Anakin is (rightfully) scared for his mom, who has been left in slavery, the Jedi are still like well, you know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, enforcing the laws against slavery seems kinda like a lot of work so we’re just not gonna get involved. That’s like… not quite what you would expect from the “Light” Side.
    • Anakin is literally a child whose mother has been left in slavery and, understandably, he’s kind of freaked out. Instead of acknowledging Anakin’s pain as legitimate and working with him, the Jedi take an oppositional stance, telling Anakin that “Fear is the path to the dark side” - a phrase that was much more apt in the Original Trilogy than it is here, where Anakin is only nine, and his fears are 100% rational.
  • EPISODE II
    • Obi-Wan asks Anakin if he’s sleeping poorly because of his mom, Anakin basically admits yes, and Obi-Wan says “Dreams pass in time.” Uh, Obi-Wan, I’m sure you have good intentions and all, but the problem isn’t in the dream world. Anakin’s dreams are a reflection of the actual, legitimate, very real danger his mother is in, and Obi-Wan’s response only dismisses Anakin’s fear and drives him further away from the Jedi Council. And, again, the Jedi could have fixed this entire situation by either rescuing his mother or actually trying to stop slavery instead of just paying lip service to the idea.
    • Anakin and Padmé fall in love, and Padmé is like “yo is this, like, allowed to happen for you??” and Anakin says “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life, so you might say we’re encouraged to love.” So… Taking a woman’s child so he can fulfill their prophecy and leaving that woman alone and enslaved on a desert planet is compassionate behavior now? Right. Sounds fake, but okay. Also, Anakin is literally pointing out the hypocrisy in that statement - so you can love humanity and people, but you can’t love a person? That’s super weird.
      • Falling in love is like… not really something you can help? Especially not the first time. Just, you know, speaking as the classic lesbian who has fallen for a straight best friend… just saying “don’t do that” is not really going to help. At all.
    • At this point, the Jedi have created a situation where if Anakin falls in love (as he is wont to do as a literal teenager who was not brought up in the Jedi Order of his own volition), he has to keep that love secret or a) risk expulsion from the Jedi and b) prove them “right” that he can’t be trusted. Which, you know, nobody wants to do.
    • Padmé tells him that he “had a nightmare again last night,” and Anakin says, “Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Yo, what the fuck. This kid is a teenager, his mom is on a desert planet and enslaved, and now he feels like he’s not even allowed to have nightmares? Which are not conscious? I get that the Jedi are supposed to have total control over themselves, but first of all, that’s a completely unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less a teenager, and second of all, that’s a real fucked up thing to imply on a mental health level. “You’re guilty, even for the pain that your brain is inflicting on you from childhood trauma in situations (i.e., unconsciousness) that you can’t even control!” Yeah, no. There is no way that could possibly go well. 
      • If Anakin is made to feel guilty for being scared or having nightmares or missing his mom from whom he was taken when he was not even ten years old, and Jedi are pointing to those feelings as evidence that he is dangerous and untrustworthy, he is put in a situation where he cannot admit that he needs help and therefore cannot access help. Like, just get the kid a shrink! And maybe rescue his mom! There are ways to address this and help Anakin stop having feelings, if that’s something we really have to do, without shaming him, which is gross and also distinctly unhelpful.
    • Anakin goes back to Tatooine to find his mom, she’s been kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders, she dies in his arms, and he slaughters the Tuskens and vows to become so powerful he will be able to stop people from dying. Which, like, is not ideal - not condoning murder - but he’s also seen his mother for the first time in years, like at least half a decade, and he is a) completely overrun with survivor’s guilt and b) rightfully grieving and c) also rightfully pissed the fuck off that he finally sees him mom again only to have her die in his arms. Like, I’d be pissed, too. And you know what helps with grief? Talking it out!! Therapy!! Friendship!! You know what Anakin doesn’t have? Literally any of those things. He can’t admit that he’s grieving his mom because it would threaten his place in the Jedi Order. The Order’s strictness continues to place him in a catch-22 where admitting he needs help is already condemning him.
  • EPISODE III
    • Anakin beats Count Dooku in part because he is furious that Palpatine has been “captured” and taps into the Dark Side with that emotion. THEN, Padmé’s like “surprise, I’m pregnant,” and Anakin (again, understandably) flips the fuck out. He has nightmares about her dying in childbirth, and guess who he can’t go to for advice or help or even consolation? The Jedi!! Wow, this is going so well for everyone, what great policies we have here.
    • The Jedi Council want Anakin to spy on Palpatine, and Anakin (correctly) points out to Obi-Wan that this goes against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, and asks why Obi-Wan is asking this of him… to which Obi-Wan replies, “The Council is asking you.” So, you know, this doesn’t exactly endear Anakin to the Council, who have already been pretty shitty to him and are now seemingly hypocritical as well.
    • Palpatine says to Anakin, “Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you.” and yeah, he’s playing on Anakin’s confusion and suspicions and totally using him as a pawn here, but he’s also right. The Jedi have proven themselves to not have Anakin’s best interests at heart, even if they have good intentions. And they do fear Anakin, so, you know, that whole “non-attachment prevents fear” thing isn’t really working out for them either.
    • Palpatine tells Anakin that the Dark Side can allow you to control death, and Anakin (who, let’s remind ourselves, has watched his mother die in his arms) begs to know how so he can save Padmé should his nightmares come true and she die in childbirth. And, again, since he can’t go to the Jedi for any help with this, he feels he has no choice but to trust Palpatine.
    • Here we get to a real fun sequence of events. Palpatine tells Anakin he’s a Sith. Anakin threatens to kill Palpatine, but doesn’t, so he can maintain the possibility of learning how to save Padmé. He goes to tell the Jedi, who rush into action and don’t allow him to join them because they think his fear will cloud his judgment, ignoring the fact that a) they’re scared out of their asses too, and b) he literally just betrayed someone close to him??? for people who have really been nothing but shitty??? So I feel like Anakin’s doing surprisingly well rn and the Jedi are basically like, “Yeah, great, but also fuck you and stay here.”
    • Soooooooo, Anakin goes to save Palpatine (again, to then save his wife), and in order to save him he kills a Jedi. At this point, Anakin’s like “I’m completely fucked,” which is true (although he’s been fucked from the beginning because the Jedi suck), and he pledges himself to Palpatine because he doesn’t think he has any other option.
    • Okay, then he goes and murders a bunch of kids, so like. That’s not great. Not gonna condone that. This was A Mistake™. I think we can all agree on that. Moving on.
    • Obi-Wan and Yoda see footage of Anakin’s fun murder time and Obi-Wan goes to try to find and defeat Anakin. In order to find him, he tells Padmé what happened and then hides away on her ship.
    • Padmé talks to Anakin, flips out when she realizes Obi-Wan was telling the truth, and as she tries to talk Anakin down from his panic- and grief-fueled descent into insanity he says, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother! I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’ve done it for you. To protect you.”
      • Side note, at this point I get annoyed because, like, Anakin, she literally Did Not Ask. Buddy, pal, friend, she specifically told you not to do this. I know your heart is in the right place, but like, this really could have all been prevented if you’d just listened to your wife. Why are the women in Star Wars consistently the only people who know what the fuck is going on?
    • Obi-Wan reveals himself, Anakin thinks Padmé betrayed him, and Force-chokes her. So, like, again, the anger is understandable, the Force-choking is not. Not going to defend that.
    • As Obi-Wan and Anakin fight, Anakin says something extremely telling: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” He isn’t lying. He isn’t even exaggerating. The Jedi have fucked him over at every turn. And the point that is being made here is that Anakin descends into madness because he, like the Jedi, lives at moral extremities. He goes mad and gives himself over to the Dark Side because the Jedi have thoroughly erased any possibility of a middle ground. 
      • The utter distrust that the Jedi Council have of “Gray Jedi” and the fact that “Gray Jedi” means both people who walk the middle ground of the Force and people who don’t answer to the authority of the Jedi Council also point to this. We can see this with Jolee Bindo and Qui-Gon, among others. If you walk the middle line, the Jedi will turn their backs on you. (Pro tip: if nobody is allowed to disagree with you, you’re probably not the good guys.)
    • Aaaaaaaaand finally the whole fight ends and Anakin becomes a weird lava-deformed creature of the night and when he finally wakes up and asks Palpatine if Padmé is okay, Palpatine says, “It seems in your anger, you killed her.” So, Anakin at this point a) is consumed with self-hatred, b) has nothing to live for because all of his loved ones either hate him (Obi-Wan) or are dead (Padmé, theoretically), and c) feels like he has no way out of the horrifying mess he’s put himself in. And here the prequels end.

What I’m trying to say here is that the Jedi aren’t perfect, and they don’t always use the Force for good. (See: “slavery is cool, we guess.”) Their emphasis on shutting out your emotions is ultimately what drives Anakin to the Dark Side because they allow no room for mistakes and therefore erase the possibility of Anakin ever getting help. Or, you know, compassion, which is supposed to be the Jedi version of love. So… The Sith suck. But the Jedi also suck. Not as much, for sure, but they are definitely guilty of some real fucked up things.

Now for the fun part!!!!! Rey, in Ep. VII, wins her battle against Kylo when she gets pissed. You can also see in that scene that when he’s overpowering her, you can see both the red and blue light reflected in her eyes, and when she closes her eyes and thinks “use the Force” and opens her eyes again, you only see the red.

What that piece said to me, and what this trailer and the poster say to me, is that “balancing the Force” means recognizing that emotions are not evil unto themselves, that you can love people and use that love to fuel goodness. Rey has the potential to balance the Force because she has already proven that she can harness emotion, be driven by emotion, and still use that for the Light Side.

Anyway, I fucking love Star Wars, meta is great, Rey can kick my ass any day, and if I’m right and these trailers are backing up my theory I am literally going to lose my mind.

I really like the idea of Damian having a ranking list of his sibling that goes from Number One Sibling™ to Tim. The benefits of being the Number One Sibling™ include but are not limited to: allowed physical affection, almost no life threats, being called by name in a non-mockying way, being the player one on video games and gifted drawings.

And one would think the first position is always reserved for Dick and yeah, it usually is, but then Dick would do something like refusing to take Damian on patrol with him for a dangerous mission or even just scolding him in a way Damian doesn’t like at all, and then Jason becomes the Number One Sibling™, because he’s the coolest brother anyway (not that Damian would ever admit it) and he doesn’t belittle Damian. Then Cass comes along and she teaches Damian a new combat move and now she’s the number one, sorry Jay, but that doesn’t sit right with Stephanie because “I love you Cass, but I’m totally the best big sis in this family”. So she’d do something ridiculous like convincing Damian to play a prank on Bruce and Damian would accept only on the condition that she’d take the blame if didn’t work, but then it does work, and outsmarting the Batman is always a big win for a Robin, so there you go, Stephanie wins the best sibling contest, everyone out. And so on and so on.

In all of this a) they all know very well what they’re doing, of course, and being the Number One Sibling™ becomes kinda of a challenge between them and b) Tim is obviously excluded because let’s be honest, he’s never gonna win and he’s not even interested in winning at all.

But then one day they make the mistake to discuss the matter out loud in the cave where Damian can catch them. And of course, Damian catches them. And he doesn’t like the idea of them knowing about his ranking list at all (he thought he was being very sneaky about it) and much less the fact that they’re actually discussing strategies on how to win his sympathy like this was a game, and how dare they.

So he’s forced to do something he doesn’t like at all, but that’s necessary anyway.

He looks at all of them dead in the eyes and goes like:

“You’re all demoted to Drake’s position. And Tim is my new favorite sibling.”

And they all gasp - especially Tim who was sitting at the batcomputer minding his own business and wanted nothing to do with this whole thing in the first place - because Damian’s called him TIM and oh my god. Also they all think he’s kidding around but no, Damian does not kid around, doesn’t even know the meaning of the expression, so in the following days Tim finds himself in the strange position where he’s the only one Damian doesn’t insult or threat with physical body harm, and in the beginning he’s like ???? but then he kinda enjoys it and underneath it all he’s a vindictive little shit too, so he starts doing things like ruffling Damian’s hair or cuddling with the kid on the couch while they watch a movie and the rest of the family is so freaked out (especially Dick who now gets a dagger to his throat every times he tries to hug Damian) it’s almost too funny to keep doing it. (But they both keep doing it anyway, of course.) 

And Bruce, in all of this, is so, so, so proud of his two youngest sons. Vengeful brotherly bonding was not exactly what he’d hoped to happen for Tim and Damian to get closer but eh, at this point he’ll take whatever it works.

Coran and Alfor’s past, Altean lifespans, Zarkon’s home planet & the Original Green Paladin

After Season 2 I have A LOT to point out that everyone else seems to be overlooking due to petty ship wars and other complaints. I’ve waited a week to post this, and now that the hype has (mostly) died down, it’s time for me to force all of you to listen to my analyses and theories. You’re welcome in advance.

I understand that the majority of the fandom is disappointed that Season 2 didn’t dedicate much character development to Lance and Hunk, and Pidge’s screentime was cut short as well. But may I remind you:

This season was all about world building, and the crew did an amazing job. They managed to fit 2 seasons worth of information into thirteen (13) episodes.

  • We’ve met new alien species.
  • There are organised rebels within the empire and they’ve infiltrated Zarkon’s main ship.
  • Alteans and Galra used to be allies.
  • The Black Lion was built on Planet Galra.
  • The lions can be piloted by a new paladin even if the previous one is still alive. They can also act on their own accord if their paladin is in danger.
  • Keith is Galra.
  • Haggar is Altean.
  • This key phrase:

Some of these things are connected, and I’ve decided to dump everything into one post.

Remember when Coran said that his grandfather built the Castle six hundred years before Coran and Allura’s ten thousand year stasis? The thing is called “Castle of Lions”. You can’t tell me that it wasn’t built specifically for the Lions of Voltron. Every Lion has their own hangar even, so we can safely assume that Voltron is older than the Castle.

BUT! Alfor was alive when Altea was attacked, and he was the one to build the Black Lion from a comet that crashed on the Galra’s home “planet”.

That’s a span of 600+ years.
(Altean years ≠ Earth years. We don’t have a converter, and 600 Altean years could very well be the equivalent to 20 earth years.)

Zarkon was the Original Black Paladin, Alfor was the Red Paladin.We don’t know who may have piloted Blue and Yellow - but I have an idea where the Green Lion came from.

The Green Lion’s guardian spirit is that of nature. Which species did Season 2 dedicate an entire episode to? Which species has a magical ability that combines nature and technology? Come on.

The Original Green paladin was Olkari.

They know that Voltron is real when the rest of the universe believes it’s just a myth.

“Okay, but how do we know that the Olkari have had any interactions with Alteans and Galrans before the 10.000 year war?” you ask, unconvinced.

“CORAN CORAN THE GORGEOUS MAN!” I shout in reply.

VLD staff wouldn’t have showed us the Olkari planet if it only served as a filler episode. There was not enough time for any filler episodes. Even “Space Mall” had Shiro travelling through time and astral projecting to fight Zarkon. Man. Wild.

Which leads me to my last point:

When Zarkon attacked Planet Altea, the Alteans weren’t strong enough to defend themselves. And although the Galra have had 10.000 years to conquer the known universe, they still haven’t managed to build a weapon stronger than Voltron, even with the addition of Haggar and the druid’s magic.

This was the Galra’s home “planet”.

Dim light, definitely no day/night (seeing as it doesn’t appear to orbit a star or rotate around its own axis.) Now, I don’t want to go into this any further. Voltron isn’t exactly written by people with a degree in astrophysics, so this frame might not necessarily hold any scientific value.

But what the hell happened to this thing?

It’s falling apart, its atmosphere is gone. This wasn’t the doing of a Weblum. Something blasted a huge hole straight through that planet’s core.

I think it’s important to remember that Black didn’t actually take Shiro there. These were her memories, also from over 10.000 years ago. And since there have only ever been 2 Black Paladins; Zarkon and Shiro - this is something that must have happened before Alfor locked Black in the Castle and sent the other 4 Lions away.

Something happened to Planet Galra that forced its inhabitants to flee. Something that Allura refers to as “The Dark History of the Paladins”.

And because this post wouldn’t be complete without a conspiracy theory:

The Alteans are at fault.

Happy father’s day!! friendly reminder that keith’s dad:

  • abandoned him “so many years” ago, and never even told him why
  • raised and left keith in a run down shack in the middle of the desert 
    • said shack doesnt even have a bed, so keith likely slept on this decrepit looking couch thing with this thin cloth for a blanket
    • because keith had no other relatives or place to go, and due to the shack’s location, enlisting in the garrison was likely one of keith’s only options 
  • his absent father also seems to be the root of all his abandonment issues, which is probably a big part of why he’s also so affected by losing shiro and has trouble opening up to people 
  • mr kogane also never told his son anything about being half-alien that could’ve possibly helped him understand why he feels so lost, or to help prepare him for anything that might happen with the galra in the future 
    • instead, he just leaves keith with the bom knife and tells him nothing about it
    • doesnt tell him anything about his mom either
    • this ensures that keith’s only way of finding out his past would be to endure a perilous cult-like initiation that either ends in “knowledge or death,” which could’ve totally killed him  
  • it might just be because keith’s having this weird nightmare vision, but his dad in bom sure seems…strange. like, how he keeps the windows blocked off and keeps telling keith everything will be fine if they just stay inside. if those lines were pulled from like a repressed memory or something, then the implications just…arent very good…

ya i just…. i would fight keith’s dad

anonymous asked:

RFA+V+Saeran accidentally hitting MC headcannons? I'm sorry if this triggers you or something but I'm curious how will they react!

( ̄▽ ̄) This got progressively more fun to write~~ It varies from fluff to comedy to slight angst lolol

–R.I.


RFA Accidentally Hits MC

Yoosung

  • He hadn’t meant to, he swears!!
  • He was just so excited about finally achieving a higher level than Seven on LOLOL that he’d carelessly thrown his headphones behind him and you just happened to be there!
  • When he turned around to tell you his good news, he noticed the newly-formed bump on your head.
  • Oblivious, he tilted his head in question. “Oh, how’d you get hurt, MC?”
  • You fired a glare at him, crossing your arms and stomping off, irritated by his carelessness. ‘I’m going to ignore him!’ you decided.
  • You held true to your word.
  • It wasn’t until days later (in which Yoosung spent whining for your attention) when he heard you complaining to Jaehee about what had happened, and how careless he was.
  • Finally learning his mistake, he slid to the floor, grasping at your leg while he stared up at you with tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry!!!” he wailed, feeling the guilt him hard. “I’ll do anything to make it up to youuuu” ;-;
  • Dammit, his puppy face was hard to resist.

Zen

  • He noticed you trying to sneak up on him by looking at your shadow on the floor, and he swiftly turned around so he could tease you that your plan failed but… but…
  • His long ponytail somehow whacked you in the face, leaving a pink mark on your cheek
  • “Owwie.” You rubbed your cheek with a slight frown.
  • He shrieks at the sin he’d just committed. I JUST HIT MY PRINCESS WHATDOIDOOHMYGODIDESERVETODIE
  • He rushed out an apology in a panic, “MC, I’m so sorry, oh my gosh, I’ll never do that agai-”
  • Low whistles came from their surroundings.
  • “Wow, what an awful boyfriend, did he hit her? Her cheek is pink… Poor girl…”
  • “Isn’t that the actor Zen? Didn’t know he was abusive to his girlfriend…”
  • Every comment only made him feel guiltier. He hadn’t meant to hurt you—he would never!
  • He placed his head in his hands, feeling horrible about himself. You noticed that tears were welling up in his eyes.
  • “Hey, it was just an accident… And it was only your hair. It’s okay Zen. I know you’d never hurt me,” you murmured gently, smiling brightly up at him as you brushed aside his bangs.
  • “M-maybe I shouldn’t stand so close to you anymore…” He shook his head, frantically backing away from you, not processing your words at all.
  • Well, you sure had fun explaining why Zen kept running away from you like a little kid at the RFA party. It only got worse when Seven joined in, “ARE WE PLAYING TAG?!? TAG, YOU’RE IT, MC!!!” and running off…

Jaehee

  • As usual, you were helping out at the coffeeshop, scurrying around behind the counter to get to the customers’ orders.
  • And like most days, it was busy.
  • As you were serving a customer at the cash register, Jaehee was rushing to finish someone else’s order, and in her hurry, she bumped into you. Hard.
  • The both of you crashed down, with her knee digging into your abdomen. You felt the wind knocked out of you, and you gasped for air, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the pain.
  • “MC!” Jaehee shrieked, the guilt hitting her immediately. “MC, are you okay? Can you hear me?”
  • You were in too much pain to even realize she was talking. You closed your eyes as you rolled to your side, trying to tolerate it.
  • “Hey, take my order already!” someone demanded.
  • Jaehee slowly stood up, a fierce glare upon her face as she slammed her fist onto the countertop. “Your order? MC is hurt and all you can think about is your order? You think your order is more important?” she growled, glaring daggers in the inconsiderate customer’s direction.
  • The customer visibly gulped, shuddering from the intensity of Jaehee’s anger. “N-no, ma’am…”
  • Your girlfriend clicked her tongue. In an icy cold tone, she stated, “I’ve never had to ask this of a customer before. Get. Out.”
  • Ignoring the line of customers, Jaehee chose to tend to you first, carrying you princess style (remember this gal can fight) to the staffroom and checking the damage. Upon seeing the bruise, she winced, feeling another wave of guilt overwhelm her. You could see her silently mouthing yet another apology as she stared at it.
  • “It’ll heal. It was only an accident, Jaehee, don’t worry,” you soothed her, smiling gently. Albeit with a frown, she accepted it.
  • …Although, she made you take multiple days off after that, despite your protests.

Jumin

  • He’d just gotten out of a 6 hour long meeting, feeling completely worn out. Nonetheless, it was over, so he could finally return to his office.
  • You’d asked to meet with him for lunch that day, patiently waiting for him to finish up.
  • But he had hardly taken a step into the office, and he received a call from another business partner. He flashed you an apologetic look before taking the call, walking to the far end of the room to talk quietly.
  • You didn’t mind, it was just a little more waiting. The call couldn’t possibly take that long, after all!
  • Or so you thought.
  • But over an hour had passed already, and his lunch break was almost over. Growing impatient, you walked up to your husband, reaching to hug him.
  • Noticing your actions, he swatted his hand dismissively, trying to tell you he was busy. Unfortunately, he was distracted, and he ended up smacking your face.
  • The moment his hand made contact with your face, his expression froze. In a split second, Jumin hung up on his call, setting aside his phone and rushing to your aid.
  • But you pushed him away.
  • He winced at the hurt expression on your face. You weren’t upset because he’d hit you, but that he had tried to dismiss you as if you were just another employee to him—as if you weren’t important. But you couldn’t say that out loud to him. Just because he had hurt your feelings, it didn’t mean you had to do the same to him.
  • You lowered your eyes, avoiding his worried gaze, and quietly walked out of his office. Jumin sank into his chair in despair, feeling awful about what he’d done. He knew how it felt to be cast aside for work. And he hated that you had to go through the same experience.
  • After finishing work that night, he returned home, still feeling ashamed of himself. You’d already turned off all the lights as if to say you weren’t waiting for him tonight. He hesitantly opened the door to your shared bedroom, where you were reading a book in bed.
  • Jumin held up a bouquet of purple hyacinths, nervously forcing a smile on his face. “I-I’m sorry about earlier today, MC…” he said quietly.
  • “You think flowers will make me forgive you?” you sighed, a frown tugging at your lips. “While I appreciate the sentiment, the flowers won’t win me over. I understand that you may have been stressed from work, but that doesn’t make me any less upset about it. Well, you should get some rest.”
  • He looked away, then suddenly grabbed your hand. “I… Will you let me explain myself, at least?”
  • Albeit surprised, you nodded calmly.
  • “The reason I’ve been working so hard lately… even today… it’s because I wanted to clear my schedule to spend time with you. I know you’ve been very patient with me all this time, and I’m really grateful for that. I just… kind of missed passing time with you, so I was planning to finish up next week’s work and then properly ask you out on a date… But I guess it really took a toll on me.” He sighed again. “I’m sorry.”
  • You wrapped your arms around him, a soft smile upon your face. “Then, make it up to me by staying with me all next week, okay?”
  • Although you wouldn’t see it, Jumin had an adorable grin on his face. ‘I love you so much.’

Seven

  • “BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!”
  • If you were wondering why Saeyoung was laughing at 6AM in the morning, it’s because he woke up to your face.
  • Now, he wakes up with you everyday, but it was the first time that you awoke with a nosebleed. He grinned cheekily, “I didn’t know I was that hot, babe.”
  • …to which, earned him a smack in the head.
  • “This is your fault, you idiot,” you grumbled, carefully getting out of bed.
  • He cocked his head in confusion, “Wait, really?”
  • “You whacked me with your arm. Again.”
  • Although he felt guilty for hurting you, he covered it up with another grin. “Just admit that you were nosebleeding because I’m hot, MC~”
  • Despite his words, he still led you to the bathroom and helped you clean up the blood. He took it upon himself to wash the blankets and bedsheets which had gained bloodstains, and even made breakfast for you that morning.
  • And it’d be over breakfast that he quietly apologized to you.
  • “Hey, uhm… I know I was kidding around earlier, but I’m really sorry about hitting you, MC…” he mumbled, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. He wasn’t used to being so sincere, but he knew he should apologize.
  • You merely flicked his forehead. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to. Besides, I’ve kicked you off the bed multiple times because you were taking up too much space.”
  • His head snapped up immediately, narrowing his eyes at you accusingly. “Wait what?! But you always told me that I rolled off by myself!!”
  •  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Saeran

  • “Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry”
  • He was chanting it over and over, his head on his knees, his entire body trembling. You tried to approach him, but he only flinched, backing away.
  • “N-no, stay away. I hurt you, oh my god, I hurt you,” he whispered, pain dripping in his voice. His eyes were wide with horror, and your heart clenched at the sight. He was scared. Scared of himself.
  • Now, what had caused this?
  • You’d sprung onto Saeran, declaring a pillow war, and the two of you had been smacking each other with your pillows, trying to get the upper hand over each other. But then he’d tripped over his own feet while he was swinging his pillow at you, and ended up smashing his elbow into you, knocking you to the ground.
  • You’d only scraped your knee from the fall, and it only bled a little, but the injury was enough to make Saeran freak out.
  • “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” you said in a gentle tone, trying to coax him. “You would never hurt me.”
  • “I d-d-don’t want to hurt a-a-anyone,” he stammered, still shuddering. “P-p-please believe me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, imsorryimsorryimsorryi-”
  • You took ahold of his trembling hands, kissing the fingertips. “I love you, Saeran. It was an accident. You didn’t have any other intentions. It’s okay. I’m okay. Look, it’s just a scratch.”
  • It took a few more moments to calm him down, but he eventually came to terms that it was only an accident, and that it wasn’t his fault. Still, though the incident was small and harmless, the fear that he could become abusive, just like his mother, began to haunt him since that day.

V

  • ‘Bzzzz…’
  • Jihyun frowned, turning his head to find the source of that annoying sound. Although he had recovered from his blindness, (thanks to Jumin finding the best doctors and funding the surgery), his ears were still sensitive to distant sounds.
  • Bzzzz…’ He walked out of the kitchen, noticing that the buzzing sound became louder. It must be closer now…
  • ‘BZZZ!!’ His eyes caught the culprit: a mosquito was flying around the house! He tried to slap the mosquito with both hands, failing miserably as it diligently flew away. Oh, it’s on, Mosquito.
  • Jihyun began running like a madman around the house, swatting at the pest and missing every time. And then, it chose to stay still. SLAP!
  • “Eeep!” you squealed, feeling a harsh impact on your butt. “W-what was that for, Jihyun?!”
  • He glanced up at you in surprise, taking in your pouting face.
  • “Ahh!! I’m so sorry, MC! I was so focused on killing the mosquito, I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry…” He was rambling in his apology, sounding almost panicked
  • You smirked, then grabbed him by the collar. “Hey. I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, now, did I?” you whispered huskily into his ear. You watched as Jihyun’s ears turned pink from embarrassment.
  • (Meanwhile, Seven was listening from the monitor. He whistled lowly upon hearing your words. “Damn. Kinky,” he muttered. Too bad Jihyun had broken his bug, or else he would’ve loved to see what happened next.)
On Queerplatonic Relationships, From Someone Who’s Actually In One

I decided to crosspost this to this blog instead of my new one since this one has more of a followership. (Copypasta’d from my WP so people don’t have to click away from tumblr.) That’s how frustrated I am about all this. Anyway.

I originally wasn’t intending for this to be a long post but two thousand words later I realized that it is long, and rightfully so. This stuff is complicated, and there’s a lot that goes into it, and the people who don’t want to sit through it aren’t the people I’m trying to reach anyway. As always, I’m talking exclusively about American culture.

Because I know people will want to crawl up my ass and ask, I’ve been in a queerplatonic relationship for three years and known my partner for about fourteen years. We get a lot of questions about our relationship, both in and outside of the queer community, and I usually start out with “It’s easy to explain but difficult for people to understand.”

We both subscribe to a very broad definition of what a queerplatonic relationship is. There should be no romantic feelings between the people in the relationship, and there’s an element of commitment. Some QPRs have a sexual component, some don’t. (Friends with benefits are not automatically queerplatonic relationships, as I’ve seen posited.) Sometimes the people in a QPR are queer themselves, sometimes they’re not. Maybe one is but the other isn’t, maybe they don’t start out identifying as queer and then they do later, maybe not. To be quite frank, neither of us care, and neither should you.

If you’ve followed me for any length of time on pretty much any platform, you know I talk about moral purism and how deeply it’s ingrained in our culture, and how it’s driven and supported by capitalism—how capitalism demands and feeds our amatonormative society. If you haven’t experienced the joy of me screaming about capitalism, well, here we go.

The nuclear family model—two parents, living separately from extended family and raising their kids, probably both parents working but maybe just one—is new and supported and driven by capitalism. In most cultures, it’s common for extended families to live together and raise children as a team effort. When you have a family with a network of aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins all cooperating and sharing the labor and time investment of just existing, it’s a lot less of a financial disaster if someone gets sick or injured.

In a nuclear family, if Parent 1 gets injured and has a three month recovery time, all of a sudden they can’t contribute to family upkeep in terms of money they provide through work, or time that they usually invest in maintaining the home/children. Parent 2 can’t both work overtime and spend more time maintaining the house/family and then they fall behind on bills and into financial ruin, or Parent 1 pushes themselves to go back to work sooner and ends up with a chronic injury/illness because of it.

In an extended family model, if Parent 1 gets injured and has a three month recovery time, Aunt 1 and Cousin 2 start taking the kids some evenings and Cousin 3 groups the kids with their own, Uncles 2 and 3 take on a little more work to maintain the house(s), and Cousin 4 starts carpooling with Parent 2 to save on gas. Everyone invests a little more time and money and Parent 1 is able to rest and recover. Or maybe they can’t, maybe Parent 1 is disabled, but it’s still not the time/financial strain it would be if there was only one other person to take on more work.

In a nuclear family, every family needs to buy separate appliances, furniture, tools, etc. In an extended family, everyone trades the toolkit back and forth, your cousin gives you a couch they don’t need anymore, you borrow your aunt’s crockpot, your cousin comes over to fix your car. People relying on others outside of the person who’s meant to be their One True Love, isn’t good for capitalism. Capitalism doesn’t want you living with your friends and splitting rent, utilities, and groceries. Capitalism doesn’t want you getting your car fixed by your best friend’s brother. (You better have a receipt showing you didn’t have insurance because your car was in the shop.)

Kids that live with their parents into adulthood are ‘pathetic’, especially if that kid gets married. You better have your own insurance policy, you better have your own phone plan, you better buy your own house (why aren’t you all buying more houses), but wait, you can’t buy that house with a bunch of friends, what do you mean you’re not married or engaged to them? Oh, you are married but you’re just friends? That’s weird, why would you want to marry your friend, what happens when you meet someone you fall in love with? Don’t you want to wait for The One?

Are you sure you don’t want to wait for The One?

Your platonic relationships aren’t as important as your relationship with your (eventual) spouse, and your spouse better be the only person you have a romantic and sexual relationship with, because you must have both. Your spouse better also be your best friend, because everyone knows that the best married couples are people who’re ‘each others’ best friend’. You get to choose one person, and that person is your everything. The person you fall in love with will be the person you have sex with will be the person you get married to will be the person you buy a house with will be the person you have kids with, and you better do all those things and it better be in that order.

Capitalism says that your friendships are unimportant.

In order to understand my point about queerplatonic relationships, you need to understand how sincere I am when I say Fuck that.

My queerplatonic partner is my primary emotional relationship. We’ve known each other for over half our lives and we evolved into our QPR the way most do, from what I’ve seen; essentially we realized we were already in a QPR and found the term that described us. We made a conscious decision to commit and be partners to each other and to have as healthy a relationship as we can. We’re in sync 99% of the time and when we’re not, we talk things out. Our relationship is a lot of work because all relationships are work, and we happily devote ourselves to that. I’ve seen a recurrent theme that, somehow, QPRs are just so easy because… to be honest I don’t really understand why, I just know that that’s something I’ve seen a lot. I have a theory about people wanting a romantic relationship-lite, but that’s besides the point.

I’m a-spec, and I am (half-heartedly) seeking romantic/sexual partner(s). I’m not super into it, because of a variety of reasons, but mostly because it’s not an overriding concern. I already have the kind of emotionally supportive relationship I need to be a relatively well-adjusted person, I’m not exactly seeking another one. Do I want a romantic and/or sexual partner? Sure, I also would like a committed D/s relationship, since I’m talking about it. Do I need a romantic/sexual partner? Nope.

One of the reasons I’m not into looking is because the people I’ve talked to are not okay with the concept of coming in “second place” to what they see as an inferior relationship. Even the poly people I’ve talked to are disinterested once I’ve made it clear that my queerplatonic partner is going to be equally important to any romantic/sexual partner(s) that I have.

And that, that is one of the big reasons why I take issue with a-spec people saying that only a-spec people can have queerplatonic relationships.

There seems to be this weird misconception that non a-spec people don’t suffer the same kind of backlash from being in a QPR as an a-spec person? Which… that seems unlikely. I didn’t publicly identify as gray/demi-ace when my partner and I first defined our relationship as a QPR, and I still got the same rude, horrible questions then as I do now, and that’s only assuming that every discussion about my QPR involves me being a-spec, which they don’t. I’m actually way more open about being bisexual than I am about being a-spec.

When society devalues platonic relationships, everyone suffers. Because society devalues platonic relationships, I continually have to justify my relationship to people who think I’m settling or suffering or ‘not getting my needs met.’ Because society devalues platonic relationships, people are forced to make one person their only person, their everything. People are forced to constrain themselves to tiny support groups and networks and suffer the monetary, physical, and mental consequences that come from having limited support networks. Our society is chronically afraid of platonic physical affection and so sexualizes everything. There are huge swathes of the population who don’t know that not choosing a One True Love is even an option and so force themselves into boxes that don’t match what they feel.

In light of all of that, why the actual hell would I ever tell someone “You’re not allowed to call your relationship a queerplatonic one because you haven’t suffered exactly the same way I have”? Why would I ever deny someone else the solace I’ve found in my own queerplatonic relationship?

And there are all kinds of people who want to be all “Well women with really close friendships don’t have queerplatonic relationships because they’re just friendships!” And like, way to miss the point. You’re still devaluing platonic relationships! A friendship isn’t just anything. My partner and I didn’t travel to a mystical site and sacrifice an animal under a blood moon to level up into a queerplatonic relationship. We started texting a lot, got closer, both discovered that queerplatonic relationships exist, circled the definition for like six months and then finally said “Yep, we’re in a queerplatonic relationship.” And since then, we’ve put a lot of time and effort and commitment into our relationship and consider and call each other partner. I go over this stuff with my mom and sister until they understand and I talk things out with them and my partner and we both put a lot of fucking effort into our relationship.

My mom has two really good friends she’s known since they were all ten years old, and maybe one day she and they will decide to define their relationships as queerplatonic relationships. Maybe if men were allowed to have close platonic relationships (and yes I know this is edging in toxic masculinity which I’m not here for today), they’d be better able to emotionally weather the shit that happens in their lives and they wouldn’t be so terrified of physical comfort. Maybe if people were allowed to say that their close friendships are as important as their romantic/sexual relationships, there wouldn’t be all this bullshit friction over making one person be the receptacle for all their emotional, sexual, and romantic baggage.

Confining queerplatonic relationships to an aro-only phenomenon is needlessly cruel and also exclusivizes something that’s scarce enough as it is. And all this effort to make queerplatonic relationships and ‘attraction’ some extra other thing than ‘just’ friendship misses the point of something we should all be working on. The point of being in a queerplatonic relationship isn’t to have some special relationship other people don’t have access to, that’s somehow better than ‘just’ friendship. There’s a very “Well if anyone could say they’re in a queerplatonic relationship then everyone would be in queerplatonic relationships!” feel to it all, to which I say… Okay? Like? Why would it be a bad thing if queerplatonic relationships were really common? Because that seems to be the logical end to the aros-only train of thought. I think it’d be pretty damn cool if queerplatonic relationships were common. For one, I’d stop having to have a Socratic seminar every time I mention I’m in one.

Not to mention that it is breathtakingly hypocritical for a-spec people to be saying “You’re not X enough for Y” considering the bullshit we get for not being queer enough for the queer community. And you know, that’s really what this whole thing comes down to. It makes sense to want to be selfish about something that gives you comfort, makes sense to want to protect it. But denying non-a-specs from labeling their queerplatonic relationships as such is the actual spirit of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

#coffee #shop #fluff

Prompts: @imakeaesthetics
Authors: @queenofthyme

Sorry, I’m late,” Harry said as he hurriedly tied on his apron. “I swear it was the tube this - What? What’s wrong?”

Harry took in his boss’s expression and realised he wasn’t in trouble for being late. If anything, it was his boss that looked apologetic.

“I need you to train our new barista,” Tonks said, a weak smile not quite reaching her eyes.

“Of course,” Harry answered automatically. He had trained new staff before. It wasn’t too hard as long as the cafe wasn’t overrun with customers. And it was only a Tuesday. “Are they here yet?”

Tonks jerked an arm behind her and stepped to the side so Harry could see. Leaning on the counter by the cafe’s coffee machine was a tall, blonde-haired man with pointy features and long limbs. He was wearing the standard cafe apron over a three piece suit and a crisp white shirt secured with silver cufflinks. Despite the cups piling up next to the machine left by the register staff, he didn’t appear interested in fulfilling any orders.

“He’s…a little difficult,” Tonks explained, “But he’s my cousin and I promised his mother I’d get him a job. I’ve been trying to teach him but he’s testing my patience. Can you please take him off my hands so I can do some accounting? Please?”

Harry looked the man up and down. The phrase ‘fish out of water’ came to mind…“He doesn’t look like he needs a job.”

“He didn’t. Until last week. His parents were just jailed for fraud and embezzlement. They lost everything.”

Harry supposed he should feel sorry for the man, losing his parents, losing his money all in one go. But when the man stood there, with a snotty, disinterested expression, dressed in the most inappropriate clothes, that a month of Harry’s shifts still wouldn’t cover, it was hard to feel anything but resentment.

He sighed and nodded at Tonks. “I’l teach him,” he agreed.

Tonks actually jumped with relief - making Harry immediately regret his decision - and clapped Harry on the shoulder appreciatively before wasting no time in rushing back into the office in the cafe kitchens.

Harry took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back. He could handle a snotty rich kid. He headed over quickly, conscious of the mounting coffee orders.  

“Hey, I’m Harry,” he said on approach, holding out a hand. The man stared at it, his expression unchanging. “This is the part where you tell me your name and we shake hands,” Harry prompted.

The man’s lip curled. “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy,” he said, still making no move to shake.

Harry lowered his hand, already understanding why Tonks had taken the opportunity to run away when she did. “So, what do you know about coffee?” He asked.

That got a reaction. The man - Draco - pushed off the counter and stood up straight, staring down at Harry pointedly. “I’m not a moron. I know how to make coffee.”

Harry blinked back up at Draco for a moment. He hadn’t noticed from afar how impossibly grey the man’s eyes were.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm the anon who's freaking out about being thrown into adulthood, and thank you for your previous help. 1.) How do I mamage/budget a minimum wage salary? 2.) I've never been great with any sort of organization, but would you mind teaching me about home organization and important paper organization?

Okay, so this post will be about budgeting on minimum wage, and later in the day I will also post about paper organization. Enjoy!

Budgeting on Minimum Wage

Overview

The average minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hr. Even working full time at 40 hours a week, that’s only a profit of $290 before taxes. This is not a fair living wage! You are worth way more than this amount! I strongly encourage you to start looking for another job that pays better, look for something around the $10-$15 range. 

While $7.25 is atrocious, thousands of people around the world support families on much less. If they can do it while supporting children, so can you! To live off a minimum wage budget you need to declare yourself independent. If your parents are still claiming you as a dependent YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS. I also recommend that you have the highest amount possible taken out of your taxes so that you get money back from your state at the end of the year, instead of being in debt to them.

What I’ve done is come up with a budgeting plan based off some made up factors and my own personal experience.

Housing

1. City life. Forget about the city! Apartments located in cities can be three times as expensive as apartments in small towns or villages. On top of the extra expense, they’re much smaller and have less amenities included. I’d much rather live in a one bedroom apartment with a dishwasher and a conveniently located Laundromat, than a literal closet with no windows on a fifth floor walkup. Look for apartments twenty minutes to a half hour outside of your closest city. Now you have the close conveniences of a city, with none of those pesky city prices that your budget can’t handle.

2. College towns. Shop around and look at apartments by local colleges. Large colleges with have apartment complexes within walking distance of the school grounds. Landlords know that college students have less money (you might even be a college student yourself) and adjust their prices accordingly. Even apartments next to ivy league schools are priced this way, so don’t be discouraged by the institution’s “prestige”.

3. Locale. Your safety is more important than your bank account. It doesn’t matter if you live in Section 8 housing or in an affluent suburb. Some apartment complexes and neighborhoods are just safer than others. I live in a heavily populated and upper middle class suburb, and the first year I moved in, a drunk woman tried to throw a beer bottle at my car. Thankfully this is the only time this happened to me, but it made me feel unsafe in my environment. Before signing a lease, walk or drive around your prospective home’s neighborhood at night. Take in the atmosphere, and make sure it’s one where you could comfortably run to the local supermarket at 10:30pm and pick up toilet paper.

4. Roommates. Living on minimum wage requires that you find one or two roommates to help split the rent. The more the better! Get together with your more responsible friends, so at least you’re living with people whose company you enjoy. There are lots of “roommate wanted” forums and message boards for you to browse on the internet, but always bring a responsible adult with you before meeting a stranger. Please. Bring your mom if you have too.

Food

1. Low-spoon food. I created this post a few months ago which offers lots of suggestions about cooking and shopping on a budget.

2. Online recipes. Here are some of my favorite online Tumblr cookbook resources. 

3. I also regularly update my cooking on a budget tag. 

Misc Expenses

1. Gas. Shop around and find the cheapest gas in your area. Avoid gas stations next to colleges, highways, and in touristy areas. Look into getting as gas rewards card from your favorite supermarket. I get 10 cents off a gallon with Stop & Shop every time I do a big shop. 

2. Dollar store. Get to know your local dollar and bargain stores. You can buy everything from pots and pans to bed sheets there. These stores often sell bulk ramen for $1 and large cans of crushed tomatoes for 75 cents. That’s enough food for you to live off of for several days. When shopping, I make three grocery store stops to ensure that I spend the least amount possible on my pantry needs. I go Dollar Store, Stop and Shop, and then to my local organic grocery store. I’m going to make a list of things that I buy at Dollar Stores and things that I don’t buy at Dollar Stores soon!

3. Cable. We are living in the digital age- you don’t need cable television. Use Netflix or Hulu or whatever. It will save you tons of $$. 

4. Internet. As far as internet speed goes, if you’re living with roommates you will probably need a higher speed. Living by yourself, choose a lower one. Most internet companies offer large discounts to new subscribers. These typically only last a year, but will save you serious money. Make sure to take note of when this discount expires, and contact the company before it does. If you don’t, they’ll begin charging you the full amount without notice.

5. Verizon. I just want to take a moment to talk about how much I love Verizon because they have literally saved me so much money in the three years I’ve been with them. After you sign a contract with a new internet company, they charge you a bunch of ridiculous fees like “activation fees” and “installation fees”. I called Verizon and was like “I’m a poor college student, I can’t afford this” and they were like “don’t worry, we’ll waive the fee”. I signed a two year contract with them that saved me $80 on a high-speed internet bill per month (my price being only 50.99 a month). After the contract expired I call them and they put me on a month to month, keeping the price absolutely the same. TLDR- get Verizon if you can.

6. Utility. Get on a monthly budget with whatever utility company services your new apartment. Although it may seem like the cheaper option, paying the actual amount of electricity you spend per month is the more expensive. It’s also unpredictable, and a minimum wage budget won’t allow for it. See this for more info.

7. Amazon. I buy a lot of my beauty, cleaning, and cat products online. Amazon offers Prime shipping free for a year with a student email address, and then offers it at a greatly reduced price after the year. If you are a student, snap up that free deal ASAP. If it’s in your budget, I’d greatly recommend investing in Amazon Prime.

8. Saving money. It’s so important to attempt to break way from the “paycheck to paycheck” vicious cycle. Living this way does not allow for emergency expense money, and trust me, sometime soon you will need emergency expense money. Your cat might get sick or your car may die, whatever it is, it’s always smart to have at least $500 squirreled away. I’m gonna level with you, things have been tight for my budget and I haven’t been able to save anything for the past three months. But this month I will!

Example Budgets

Full Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 40hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $1,160 a month without taxes.

Housing: Let’s say you’re sharing an apartment with two close friends, the rent being $1,500 without any amenities. That rent split three ways is $500 each.

Gas I commute twenty minutes every day, and I drop about $20-$25 a week on gas. That’s $100 on gas a month.

Food: I do one big shopping a month with my boyfriend. We drop around $180 and that’s including toiletries and soap and stuff. So maybe you’ll spend about $100 a month on all your shopping needs.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split three ways that’s $17 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

With everything added up, you still have around $290 left before taxes! That money can go into a savings account, and after several months, you’ll have that $500 worth of emergency money saved.

Part Time

Working with the $7.25/hr and 25hr/week model, here’s an example budget for living on minimum wage. That’s $725 without taxes.

Housing: In this case, you need to look for apartments in the $800-900 range. In my area, one bedroom apartments go for around $1000, so you may need to get creative with your roommate (I don’t think you could have more than one roommate in this situation). Buy dividers to split the bedroom or studio in half! Let’s say your rent is $850 with nothing included, that’s $425 each.

Gas You’re still looking at a large gas bill per month, so it may be more inexpensive to ride a bike or use public transportation. Let’s say you use public transportation, and spend around $50 a month on that. Or maybe you and your roommate can split gas expenses and share a car?

Food: Pinch those pennies! Use some of those budget cookbooks I linked above to help you cook healthy and delicious meals for under $4 each. See if you can only spend $80 a month on groceries.

Cable/internet:  Hopefully you took my advice and skipped cable. Let’s say you’re paying around $50 per month for internet. Split two ways is $25 each.

Laundry: Hopefully you’re not like me and are only spending around $20 on laundry per month.

Random expenses: Because there always are some. Let’s just tack on another $100.

That leaves you $25 to put in your bank account, if that. This is a paycheck to paycheck situation, and you will probably need to get another source of income to feel secure. But you can still do it!

There Will Be Blood

I didn’t know my face was caved in, but I knew it wasn’t good.

I knew it wasn’t good from the sound my cheek had made when it hit the dasher above the boards. I knew it wasn’t good because the referee had blown his whistle so quickly. I knew it wasn’t good because our trainer, John Wharton, had jumped over the boards right away to check on me.

I saw the blood on the ice, but I didn’t know the right side of my face was caved in.

My only thought was, O.K., this is a bad one. How many stitches?

It was Game 6 of the ’96 Western Conference finals against the Colorado Avalanche. We had to win the game in their barn to keep the series alive. The whole series was a bloodbath. To say “there was no love lost” between us would be an understatement. I rarely ever use the word “hate,” but I’ll use it here. We hated them. They hated us. That’s just the way it was.

Moments before, I had collected the puck along the boards and made a pass, and I was drifting backwards right by our bench. The next thing I knew, I got hit from behind. I felt my face hit the top of the boards. Everything went black for a second. I was on all fours, trying to get up, but I couldn’t.

I looked up at our trainer and he was blurry, but I could see this look of horror on his face. I’ll never forget that look. He put a towel over my head to hide my injuries. The last thing I remember is him and Keith Primeau helping me to my feet and escorting me off the ice to the dressing room.

Then I blacked out.

The next thing I remember is waking up in the dressing room, and looking up at our trainers and our doctor, and finally feeling the pain. 

Then I blacked out again.

The next time I came to, I sat up and the pain was gone. I didn’t know it, but I was on some serious painkillers. So I started trying to put on my shoulder pads so I could get back on the ice.

Our team doc said, “Kris, what the hell are you doing?”

I said, “What period is it? Am I stitched up?”

He said, “Uh … Kris, you better take a look at this.”

And he walked me over to the mirror.

The right side of my face was caved in.

He told me the damage: Broken orbital bone. Broken cheekbone. Broken nose. Broken jaw.

That was not the worst news.

I asked, “What’s the score?”

“It’s 4–1. Colorado.”

O.K.

Then I asked, “Who hit me?”

“Lemieux.”


March, 26, 1997.

Say the date to anybody in Detroit or Colorado and they’ll know exactly what you mean.

March, 26, 1997.

Exactly 301 days after I broke my face.

It’s hard to believe that it was 20 years ago this month. But if I just tell you the story of that brawl, it won’t do it justice. A 21-year-old reading this right now was just a baby when it happened. If they’ve only seen the YouTube videos, they probably think we were all a bunch of animals. But the reason things got so out of hand on March 26, 1997, is because of everything that happened before and after that brawl.

See, we have to go back.

Everybody involved in that fight had a story. For me, you have to go back to Career Day when I was in sixth grade in West Hill, Ontario. The teacher went around the room and asked every kid what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Doctor. Lawyer. Teacher. Veterinarian.

Everybody smiled and nodded.

When it was my turn to go, I said, “I’m going to play in the NHL.”

I was a small kid, so there was some laughter in the room. After school was over, I was sitting outside on the portable step, and I’ll never forget this as long as I live: This kid (who shall remain nameless), came up to me and said, “Ha! You’ll never play in the NHL.”

Just the way he said it, with such certainty, always stuck with me. I used it as motivation. I’d picture his face, and just the way he said it, and I’d think, Oh yeah? I’ll show you.

My mentality was that I was going to do whatever it took to make it to the NHL, and for the first few years of my career, it was a real struggle. I spent four years in the Winnipeg Jets’ system, mostly toiling away in the minors before they traded me to the Red Wings in ’93, just as Scotty Bowman was taking over as head coach.

So one night I’m playing for the Adirondack Red Wings in the AHL, and I score a hat trick. I come out of the locker room after the game, and there’s Scotty with a few Red Wings scouts. I had no idea they were in the building.

I’m thinking, Finally, they saw the hat trick. Now they know what I can do. Now I’ll get my chance.

The first thing Scotty says to me is, “Do you know how many face-offs you won tonight?”

Face-offs were just starting to be kept as an official stat, especially in the AHL.

So I said, “No, sir, I’m not really sure.”

Scotty said, “You won 19 of 21. Can you do that in the National Hockey League?”


Six weeks later, I got called up to the Detroit Red Wings. The implication was pretty clear. If I wanted to be one of Scotty’s guys, I had to grind. I was 5′ 10″, 180 pounds and I was joining a team with unbelievable skill guys — Sergei Fedorov, Steve Yzerman, Slava Kozlov, Keith Primeau, Vladimir Konstantinov, Paul Coffey, and a young Nick Lidström. So my mindset was that I was going to be the biggest pain in the ass you ever played against. I definitely knew my place. But I didn’t know my exact value until we played the Sharks in the ’94 playoffs. After we beat them in Game 3, I was getting interviewed by a reporter from a San Jose newspaper. After he finished up, he turned to me and said, “Hey, not bad for a kid who was traded for a dollar, huh?”

And he started to walk away.

I said, “Excuse me … what did you just say?”

He said, “Yeah, a dollar. Winnipeg traded you for a buck. Now you’re playing in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Pretty good … Wait, you don’t know the story?”

I turned and looked at our public relations guy, totally confused.

He said, “Uh, yeah, Kris. It’s true.”

I’m like, “What? I was traded for future considerations.”

He says, “Yeah, well, you know, when Scotty called you up from the AHL, they still hadn’t worked out the considerations, officially. So Bryan Murray called Mike Smith and … well … you were traded for cash considerations.”

“A buck?”

“A buck.”

Whenever somebody tells me I was traded for a bag of pucks, I have to politely correct them — because a bag of pucks would’ve been a lot more expensive. But I loved it, because the whole story just added to my underdog mentality.

We ended up losing that first-round series to the Sharks in seven games, which was bitterly disappointing. Then in ’95, we felt like we were so close to the promised land, but we got swept by the Devils in the Stanley Cup finals. That’s when the questions started.

A lot of people don’t remember this now, but at the time, we were getting a tremendous amount of heat for not being tough enough to win a Cup. The media was questioning the leadership of guys like Yzerman and Fedorov, if you can believe that. They were questioning the way our whole team was built. The implication was that we were skilled but soft.

So we came out in ’95–96 with a gigantic collective chip on our shoulders. The first two months of the season, we were on fire. With our speed and skill, we overwhelmed teams. Then, on December 2, 1995, we went into the old Montreal Forum to play Patrick Roy and the Canadiens. That night, something happened that changed hockey forever.

We came out hot. Roy let in four goals, then five, then six….

For whatever reason, they wouldn’t pull him.

Seven. Eight. They still wouldn’t pull him.

We were all kind of looking at each other on the bench like, What’s the deal here?

At one point, the crowd did a mock cheer when Roy made a save. It was ridiculous, because he was such an incredible goalie.

Finally, after nine goals, Roy had had enough and just pulled himself. Later on, it came out in the press that when Roy got back to the bench, he turned to the president of the Canadiens and said, “This is my last game in Montreal.”

Roy was traded to the Avalanche a few days later. That was the moment when the whole rivalry between us and Colorado got its spark. He never forgot what we did to him at the Forum. From that moment on, he took it to another level when he played us.

It felt like destiny that we would have to go through Colorado in the playoffs that season. And, wouldn’t you know it, who was waiting for us in the ’96 Western Conference finals? Roy and the Avalanche.

This is the part of the story where things get a little crazy.

Most people think that the feud started when I broke my face in Game 6. But it started way before that. From the first drop of the puck of Game 1, guys were taking runs, slashing, grabbing, sucker punching, you name it. There’s no point in even going over every incident. We did stuff. They did stuff. If you played in the NHL playoffs back then, you were not coming out unscatched. I’m not glorifying it, but that was the way it was.

Early in Game 3, Slava Kozlov rammed Adam Foote’s head into the glass and cut him pretty good. Later on in the period, Claude Lemieux snuck up behind Slava and sucker punched him in the back of the head to get revenge.

Our bench went crazy. And then the whole game went crazy. And then the whole series went crazy. Everything turned into a battle. We were battling over loose sticks from the benches.


Game 3 was the moment when the rivalry rose to another level entirely. We wanted to win that series so, so bad. Colorado was not a team full of goons. That’s the thing. They were an unbelievable team that had everything you could want — pure skill with Sakic and Forsberg, grit and experience with Lemieux, Kamensky and Ricci. And, of course, they also had Roy.

They had everything we had. They were a tremendous team, and we didn’t like them one bit.

So when I looked in the mirror after I got hit from behind in Game 6, and I saw my broken face, I was kind of numb.

But when the trainers told me that Colorado had won, and that the series was over….

I was beside myself. I was so disappointed.

The doctors advised me to stay in Colorado to have surgery right away, but I wanted to be on the plane with the guys. I wanted to be back in Detroit. So I draped a towel over my head and walked out of the building, and I got on the plane and waited for the guys.

My teammates didn’t actually know how bad my injuries were until they got on the plane and saw me. So they had gone through the whole handshake line not knowing my face was caved in. That’s the backstory for Dino Ciccarelli’s famous quote about Lemieux: “I can’t believe I shook this guy’s friggin’ hand after the game. That pisses me right off.”

I still remember sitting at the front of that plane with the doctors, and all my teammates getting on and tapping me on the shoulder and telling me it was going to be alright.

When we got back to Detroit, I was in the hospital for four days. I couldn’t eat solid food for six weeks because my jaw had to be wired shut. Having your jaw wired shut sucks, but it sucked even more in 1996 because they didn’t have all the protein shakes and fancy smoothies in every store like they have today. For the most part, I was drinking Ensure. Sometimes I got lucky and they’d let me have a chocolate milk shake.

I wish this story could have Smell-O-Vision, because if you could only smell a vanilla Ensure right now, you’d know how miserable I really was. But the worst pain, by far, was knowing that the Avalanche were dominating the Panthers in the Stanley Cup finals.

I couldn’t stand to watch. It’s still the only Stanley Cup finals that I’ve never seen a single second of.

As I was sitting in that hospital bed, I promised myself two things:

  1. I wasn’t going to let the hit affect me mentally.  
  2. It wasn’t to change the way I played.

You have to understand what hockey means to me. It was always my joy in life. I was a small guy to start with, and I made it to the NHL by playing a certain way. If I took my foot off the gas even just a little bit … if I was even just a little bit timid because of that hit, I wouldn’t be effective. I’d be letting my teammates down. I’d be letting the city down. The people of Detroit were in my corner every single day of my recovery. I mean, the response from fans was so overwhelming that I had to get two hospital rooms: One for me, and one to store all the flowers, cards, and stuffed animals that people sent to me. There was so much that I couldn’t take it all home. I donated all the stuffed animals to the pediatric ward.

Detroit is such a blue-collar town, and they love their Red Wings so much.

We had to get back to the Western Conference finals. We had to beat Colorado. We had to win a Stanley Cup.

I would close my eyes and picture the weight room and think, Soon.

As I was leaving the hospital, my doctor gave me a pair of pliers.

“Keep these on you at all times,” he said. “Whenever you leave the house. Whenever you go to bed.”

I couldn’t speak. I just shook my head, confused.

“If you get sick and have to throw up, you’re going to have to cut the wires to keep from choking.”

So I went home with my pliers and my cases of Ensure. It was a long road. I ended up losing almost 20 pounds over the six weeks that my jaw was wired shut.

I’ll never forget the day they came off. My first meal was at Andiamo on the riverfront in Detroit. I ordered the angel-hair pasta. But I still had to have these restrictive bands on my teeth, so I sat there eating it noodle by noodle for like an hour. My friends were on dessert by the time I made it to the 10th noodle, but it was the best feeling ever.

That was the end of June. I had two months to gain 20 pounds back before camp. Whenever I needed motivation to drink an Ensure, I’d just think of The Joe on opening night, and the feeling of walking down the dark tunnel and taking that first step onto the ice.

To be 100% honest, I rarely thought of getting revenge on Lemieux. It wasn’t about that. Unfortunately, Detroit did not feel the same way. It was like the entire city took the hit personally. When the season started, and I was back in the lineup, all anybody wanted to talk about was our first game against Colorado. But, as fate would have it, Lemieux wasn’t in the lineup for our first two games. The third game in Colorado got very heated — you could feel the tension — but the referees were on top of it. Nothing major happened. But you could feel the hatred building and building….

Right up until March 26, 1997.

When it all exploded at The Joe.

I pulled into the parking lot of the arena that night and a TV cameraman followed me from my car to our dressing room. Camera guys never followed me. They’d always follow Yzerman or Fedorov. That’s when I knew: O.K. Here we go.

You could feel it in the dressing room before the game. You could feel it during warmups. They were 3–0 against us that season. They were No. 1 in the division. This was our last game against them going into the playoffs. It was a huge moment.

But the game was relatively tame for most of the first period. Until….

Igor Larionov and Peter Forsberg, two of the most skilled guys in the league, got into a wrestling match by our bench. At first it was nothing — just a small scuffle. The refs came over to break it up. The building was quiet.

And then you just heard this incredible roar out of nowhere.

I look to center ice, and there’s Mac.

Darren McCarty, the guy who visited me in the hospital every day. Mac is reigning punches down on Claude Lemieux right in front of our bench. Lemieux’s helmet pops off, and he goes down on all fours, trying to turtle to protect himself.  

And then another huge roar — louder than the first one.

Patrick Roy leaves his net. Mike Vernon leaves his net.

They’re skating toward one another from across the rink, like a Wild West movie.

But then, out of nowhere, Brendan Shanahan intercepts Roy and they both go flying.


Next thing I know, Mac is dragging Lemieux over to our bench, as if to say, I told you I’d get him, boys.

Then Vernon and Roy finally make it to one another, and they start brawling at center ice. Not just tying up, but throwing haymakers.

In the middle of all this pandemonium, Marc Crawford, the Avs coach, is yelling at me, “You started all this, Draper!”

And then Scotty Bowman starts yelling at Crawford, “Don’t talk to my players! Don’t you ever talk to my players!”

When the refs finally got ahold of everybody, there were helmets and sticks and gloves and jerseys and blood all over the ice.

What can you say? You just say the date, and everybody knows.

March 26, 1997.

Exactly 301 days after I had my face caved in, my teammates stood up for me. We settled it. But this is what a lot of people don’t remember: For the players on the ice, that night wasn’t just about the fight. That night was about proving that we could beat Colorado on the scoreboard.

After the refs cleaned up the ice, there was still a game to be played. We were down 5–3 in the third. If we lost, and Colorado swept the season series, then the fight would have meant nothing. But we started chipping away at their lead, and we tied it up at 5–5 to send it to overtime. In OT, who do you think came out and buried the game-winning goal?

Darren McCarty.

We couldn’t have scripted it any better.

The brawl was one thing. But us winning that night changed everything. It gave us the belief that we could beat them in the playoffs. We knew we’d see them again in the Western Conference finals. We just knew.

When they dropped the puck in that series, the tone had already been set. The vibe was different. As soon as Lemieux turtled at The Joe, everything changed.

We beat them in six games, and I got what I really wanted — what I had burned for since I was in the hospital. I got the handshake line. I got to look every one of them dead in the eyes, and I got to shake their hands knowing that I was going to the Stanley Cup finals, and they weren’t.

In the finals, the Flyers were heavily favored to beat us. They were “too big, too strong, too fast.”

First shift. Game 1. Philly comes out with the LEGION OF DOOM. Lindros. LeClair. Renberg.

Everyone expects that.

But nobody expected who Scotty sends out.

The Grind Line.

Me, Joe Kocur and Kirk Maltby.

What a feeling. Almost exactly a year to the day that I was laying in a hospital bed with my jaw wired shut. Now I’m starting Game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals.

We came out flying. After finally beating Colorado, we were not going to be denied. We took Game 1 on our way to a sweep.

That first time you touch Lord Stanley, after so many years of burning for it, your life flashes before your eyes. Your whole journey plays like a quick film in your mind. I wanted that Cup so bad, for so many reasons. But mostly I wanted to prove to myself that one hit wasn’t going to define my career, or change the love I had for the game.

We won again in ’98, 2002, and 2008.

Now, we’re known as champions. But on March 25, 1997, we were called “soft.” Our leadership was questioned. Some people wanted to blow up the team.

Do we still win the Stanley Cup without that brawl? Maybe. But I know that it certainly didn’t hurt.


Over the years, Lemieux and I never spoke about what happened. He never apologized, and I didn’t need him to. They won Cups. We won Cups. Even if I didn’t like him very much, I actually respected how clutch he was as a player.

Then, a couple of years ago, I was at the 2014 NHL draft as a member of the Red Wings’ front office. My whole family was there with me — my wife and three kids. When the draft was over, we were waiting outside for a taxi to take us to the airport, when my wife’s face suddenly went pale. She was looking right through me.

She said, “Lemieux’s walking towards us.”

I wasn’t going to turn around. I didn’t think I had anything to say to him.

Sure enough, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and it’s Claude.

He says, “Oh, is this your family?”

My son, Kienan, has watched every single YouTube video in existance of the Wings-Avalanche rivalry. He knows the whole story. So he was looking up at Claude with these big eyes, like, Oh, my God. Here he is, in real life.

Claude bent down and shook his hand, and my son just kind of looked at him in awe. Claude politely introduced himself to my whole family, and shook everybody’s hand.

And that was it. We went our separate ways.

I’m glad we had that moment. For everything that we went through during that rivalry, the beauty of our game is that at the end of the day, as (much older) men, we are still able to shake hands.

Now that it’s the final year for The Joe, people have been talking about their favorite memories of the place. We won two Stanley Cups in that building, and yet every time I meet a Wings fan, you know what they want to talk about?

March 26, 1997.

Those gongshow days are gone now, and it’s probably for the betterment of the game. But ask anybody from Detroit, and they can tell you exactly where they were when that brawl went down. Long after that arena is torn down, people will still remember that night.

It defined a rivalry, and it defined my career for a lot of fans.

But for me, when people ask about my favorite memories of The Joe, I always give a boring answer. And I do it because it’s the truth: It’s the Stanley Cups. The sacrifice it takes to lift one Stanley Cup is almost beyond words.

I went on to win four of them with teammates who I consider brothers. They can never take that away from us.

So, to a certain sixth grader in West Hill, Ontario, from a very long time ago, I’ll say it again: Oh yeah?

KRIS DRAPER 
RETIRED / DETROIT RED WINGS 

First of all, sorry for the slow responses! I forgot that I had to work a shift today, so I wasn’t around all afternoon. Which didn’t leave much time for me to write, but here I am, so lets do this (until I inevitably disappear to get some sleep)! Also I’ve gotten some very lovely asks but I wanted to write this down before I forgot. I thought of this headcanon while I was working and it’s too damn good not to share:


Alright, this happens at some point after CW but before Thanos shows up. The team (without Bucky, who’s still in Wakanda, working on getting his head cleared) is back in the US, having signed some form of revised accords. Steve is no longer team leader, but otherwise they’ve gotten off fairly easily with little repercussions. The tension between the old and new Avengers is obvious and especially Tony is met with outright hostility. It doesn’t help that Rhodey still isn’t in any shape to join the fights and is rarely around.

One day Clint signs Tony up for a parenting class. It’s another not-nicely-meant joke because of all the criticism Tony’s gotten for letting Peter fight. Only, the thing nobody expected? Tony actually goes. Because apparently he’s just that masochistic (apparently part of him still desperately wants to fix, to work things out between them). It earns him a lot of harsh ridicule, but Tony finishes it all the same.

Thing is, the Team Cap is so busy making fun of him, they don’t even notice when things start changing. Little things. When Steve walks into an argument between Clint and Tony and asks the latter “What have you done now?” disappointedly, Tony doesn’t snap something, get defensive or flee. He says “Have you ever noticed that you’re always immediately assuming I’m the one who has done something?”. It earns him another hurtful comment from Clint, and the incident is forgotten.

Until. Until, one day, during a debrief, Steve snaps. “She’s just a kid, Tony!” he yells when Tony keeps insisting on harder training for Wanda.

There’s a moment of silence, before, “Oh. Really? Does everyone agree with that?”

“You’re still not done catching up, Stark? So much for the futurist,” Clint sneers, and the matter is dropped. Or so it appears.

For the rest of the meeting, Tony is quiet. Thoughtful. In retrospect, they should’ve taken it for the warning it was.

That evening, when Wanda orders a new dress online, FRIDAY dispassionately informs her the transaction is impossible, as the price goes beyond her monthly allowance.

After a fruitless shouting match with the AI, she goes to Steve. Who (after a just as fruitless shouting match) goes to Tony. Who shrugs. “You told me she’s just a kid. Nobody, not even she herself, disagreed. I’m treating her like one.”

Suddenly, M-rated movies are inaccessible whenever Wanda is in the room. Once her curfew is reached, all electric devices go into sleeping modus (unless in case of an emergency of course). Talking with Tony, screaming at Tony, proves to be completely useless. Tony refuses to budge. Repeats lessons from his parenting class, about enforcing rules and teaching children boundaries.

And it doesn’t end there. The entire team is cut off from Tony’s money–Steve has to admit, he’s entitled to that, and maybe the team has gotten a bit too used to throwing Tony’s money around. That’s not the bad part anyways, they all have their own salaries from the government, they can still live. Just maybe a little more limited than before.

But suddenly the services they’ve become accustomed to are cancelled. They have to buy groceries themselves. There is no cleaning crew after Wanda throws a temper tantrum–she has to clean it herself or one of her ‘staunch defenders’, as Tony calls them, has to do it for her. New furniture doesn’t magically appear out of thin air, they have to buy it. And suddenly–suddenly the costs are starting to add up.

There’s a list pinned to the fridge one morning–on paper even–with their chores, going from doing the dishes to the laundry, that rotate every week. Who hasn’t fulfilled his one has to do all the chores the next week. FRIDAY keeps track of it, and barring missions and injuries, there are no exceptions.

Being grounded is an honest to god possibility now, including all electronics, for when they break one of the House Rules. And they are all enforced ruthlessly.

They all try to talk to Tony about it–they aren’t children, they don’t have to put up with this shit, it wasn’t funny to begin with, when is he gonna stop this already–but he remains unmoved.

It’s all “You told me Wanda is a kid,” and “I am allowed to set rules, considering you’re living under my roof. And there really is no excuse for breaking them, you are all aware they exist and why. They’re reasonable and you know it.”

And the most damning of them all. “If you’re so grown up and independent, you know where the door is. Walk out. This isn’t a prison, and you’re always welcome back, provided that you’re following the rules. You can walk away any time you want.”

Suffice to say, Clint is getting a lot of shit for signing Tony up for that parenting class. (Tony tells him he really appreciates it because clear communication is important.)

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*

anonymous asked:

Please write a short fic about tony catching peter drinking i would die omg

“Hey, Peter,” 


He froze, eyes widening as he heard the all-too-familiar sound of expensive leather brogues scuffing along the floor a few meters from him, and he turned quickly, brow furrowed into a deep V as he watched Tony wander up to him, all smiles and casual posture, hands buried in the pockets of his grease-stained jeans. He looked like he’d come straight from the workshop, stopping only to throw on a leather jacket along the way.

Why he was here at all, however, made no sense at all.

“T- Mr Stark,” Peter said, trying to communicate with him through eyebrow movements alone. If it turned out that he had to suit up and help out somewhere, he was pretty fucked, considering the fact he’d had a bit to drink at the party he’d been invited to.

Well. He said ‘a bit’. It was possibly more accurate to say ‘a fucking shit-ton’, but whatever.

Tony looked at him blankly, before shooting another smile toward the circle of people who were stood around Peter and staring quite blatantly at the both of them. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid I have to take Mr Parker away. He’s an intern at Stark Industries, you know how it is. Lots of work, yadda yadda, okay bye,”

And before Peter could even open his mouth, Tony had grabbed him by the arm and snatched the solo cup out of his hand almost angrily, pulling him away from the group of people and through the crowds of rowdy teenagers that littered the huge house.

“Uh, Mr Stark, wha’dd’ya want me for, exactly?” Peter asked, speaking loudly above the blaring music and wincing at how slurred his voice came out.

It had been a weird month, okay. He was just trying it out. 

Tony paused, and Peter saw him purse his lips even tighter before beginning to walk again, guiding Peter through the crowds and holding him tight as he stumbled a little.

“Hey, Parker, leaving so soon?” Flash called out from somewhere to his left, and Peter stopped turning to face him as the other boy wandered toward them. “We haven’t even begun yet, Jesus, are you a pussy or what-”

“Kid,” and suddenly Tony had let go, spinning around and walking up to Flash, who seemed to suddenly recognise who exactly Tony was, because his eyes went hilariously wide and he stumbled backward a few steps. Peter snorted involuntarily, and he saw Tony turn briefly, before shaking his head and looking back to Flash, “it seems like you’re having an absolute ball here, but I’m gonna say something and I’m only going to say it once.”

Tony looked down at Flash, eyes harsh as he drew a little closer. “Leave. Peter. Out of it. Do you understand? He is not here for you to manipulate, not here for you to bully into trying out crazy shit for your amusement-”

“Tony, what the fuck,” Peter blurted, frowning and stepping forward, more than a little put out. He’d only just managed to get accepted by Flash and all the other popular kids, and Tony was just going in, ruining it all, “you’re not my dad- don’t tell me or my friends what I can and can’t do.”

Tony turned, eyebrows raised. “Friends?” He snorted, shaking his head and walking over to Peter once more, taking him by the arm. “You haven’t called in with Aunt May for two days now,” he hissed into Peter’s ear, “she’s worried sick. You are coming with me, right now.”

“No ‘m not,” Peter pushed his hand off, looking over at Tony in anger. “You are fucking….embarrassing me…. in fron’ of my friends-”

“They are not your friends!” Tony snarled, pulling his arm again, “your friends are all currently at home, worrying their asses off because this is not like you, Peter, and they didn’t know what to fucking do, so they ended up calling me. Now you will fucking follow me out of this goddamn place right now, or I am hauling you out.”

(Read more, mobile users!)

Keep reading

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Izuku Midoriya is one of the most terrifying characters in BNHA and nothing will convince me otherwise (SPOILERS FOR ANIME-ONLY WATCHERS)

I know we all love our cute cinnamon roll Deku with his mumbling and pure heart, but the last episode really emphasised how truly terrifying this boy is.

Deku’s determination has been commended multiple times by many different people, seen as a way for other characters to feel motivated and inspired to be better heroes and people. However, ultimately, this determination serves as the main reason why he’s so terrifying.

In the last episode we really got a clear image of how far Deku will go in order to achieve a goal he has set (the training camp arc, and sequential fight for Kouda really fleshes this point out to a ridiculous degree). Saving Todoroki was the only thing on his mind, he didn’t even think about the future consequences, but only whether or not each injury would hinder him from continuing to pursue his goal. Frankly the lengths he went to, absolutely destroying his hands so much that he required extensive surgery, should be something that should terrify most people, especially villains.

Here’s a kid fresh into the academy who can take breaking his bones multiple times over with only a grimace, while also coming up within genius plans on the fly under pressure and pain that surpasses what most people will ever experience in their lives. Villains often rely on their ability to terrify people with their capacity to inflict bodily harm and death without flinching. The threat of huge amounts of pain is bound to make most heroes pause and lose momentum for a moment out of personal fear. However, how are you meant to scare a fucking kid who doesn’t flinch at breaking his body apart for a mere school contest?? The thought of going against anyone like that is terrifying, and it’s reflected in the faces of the other students and spectators. Especially Shinsou.

The look of horror on his face isn’t just of seeing such horrible injuries. No. It’s of seeing self-inflicted injuries out of pure determination without flinching on the opponent he just faced. He’s only just realising the lengths Deku would go to succeed in his goals, and the pure strength he wields. Shinsou didn’t know how powerful Deku really was, but he’s just realising that, out of spite for being manipulated, Deku could’ve sacrificed a finger in order to shatter any part of Shinsou. If Deku was determined to do it, it definitely would’ve happened and Shinsou would’ve been powerless. That’s fucking horrifying.

Deku wields a power that can destroy buildings and his body with ease. And he’s willing to do that in order to fulfill his goals. Not only is the sight of his broken body horrifying to most, but the knowledge that if this boy had a reason to turn his back on society, on being a hero, they would all be fucked. Here’s someone willing to sacrifice everything for a goal decided mere minutes before the match, imagine what he could do with years of planning and control of this destructive quirk?? Deku is truly overlooked for people like Bakugo and Shinsou as villains in the manga/anime, and that definitely needs to stop because if Deku became the face of villainy, no one could stand against his tactical mind, pure power, and single-minded focus.

talk to me about molly wrapping harry gently in her arms after the battle and kissing his temple and telling him ‘you will always have a home with us’

talk to me about arthur noticing when harry gets too quiet and distracting him by asking him if he’d like to help rebuild sirius’s motorbike

talk to me about bill seeing the warning signs that harry’s been triggered into an anxiety attack and grasping his arm and telling him to ‘breathe, harry, it’s okay, you’re safe’ and sitting with him until he’s calm

talk to me about george growing even closer to harry because suddenly he understands so much better and he realizes that this kid knows, too, what it’s like to feel so fucking alone

about ron keeping track of how much harry’s eating so on the days when harry can only manage to push food around his plate ron makes sure to ply him with tea all day and asks his mum to make one of harry’s favorites for supper

about charlie getting fed up with the reporters who mob harry everywhere he goes and grabbing a camera from a bloke who will not stop snapping pictures and chucking it in a fountain

percy fidgeting awkwardly, not quite able to meet harry’s eyes, and apologising for that letter he knows ron told him about

hermione making harry look her straight in the eye and telling him it’s okay not to be okay, and harry not knowing whether to be grateful or annoyed because he suspects that she’s actually been researching whatever the hell’s happening to him

ginny letting harry have his space but also knowing when to insert herself right into that space so he can’t shut down and push everyone away because she’ll be damned if he thinks she’s going to put up with that

luna finding him at one of the many parties he’s expected to attend and asking him ‘do you suppose you’d rather be here or stuck on the bottom of the hogwarts lake surrounded by extraordinarily aggressive plimpies?’ in such a solemn voice that harry can’t help but laugh

mcgonagall taking note of the circles under harry’s eyes when he stops by the school and suggesting a visit to the hospital wing before he leaves so madame pomfrey can give him something to help him sleep

hagrid inviting harry over for tea and just letting his boy sit outside in silence, fang’s head on his knee, as hagrid works in his vegetable garden

neville asking harry if it would maybe be okay if he comes along with him to see teddy some time so during the next visit they end up sitting on the floor in andromeda’s lounge on a cloudy afternoon, these three orphans, playing pretend with stuffed animals shaped like wolves and dogs and lions

kingsley kicking harry out of the ministry for the night because ‘for christ’s sake, harry, you’ve been here for twenty-two hours and molly’s owled me TWICE now GO HOME and get some rest or i will personally throw your “chosen” arse over my shoulder and toss you into the floo’

talk to me about people taking care of harry and helping him manage his ptsd