i'm not crying ; ;

I want y'all to know that Chyler had 2.5 hours of sleep, JUST finished shooting her last episode, had multiple delays at the airport and while ON her plane, and had a huge issue with her phone being disconnected and she STILL came to see all of us at the East of Eli concert, sang with us, hugged all of us individually, and took photos and had convos with us. She is fucking LOYAL and cares a TON about her fans and she is honestly /so/ ride or die, like honestly when will ur fave EVER??

Dear Markiplier.

(i blame you @dogiplier)

I’ve told story so many times that I’m sure it’s starting to sound like a broken record by now.

My friend was spending the night at my house one night and she told me that since I was watching Cry a lot, I should check out “this dude named Markiplier” because his videos seemed like something I’d enjoy. I remember watching 7 Days to Die #2 a few days after it was uploaded and, welp…I guess you could say the rest is history lmao.

Over time your videos became something I could go to when I was crying, when I was dealing with anxiety, and when I was generally feeling like crap. You made me feel less alone when I felt like I was in a void.

I fell out of watching his videos for a bit because of school and stuff, but in December of 2015 I suffered the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had. Nothing was helping me and I didn’t know what I could do to help. I actually almost woke my mom up so she could take me to the hospital or something. On a whim I decided to check your channel and watch the first video I saw (Markiplier Opens Your Presents) and within like…Minutes, my anxiety attack was over. I didn’t feel like I was suffocating, and I think that was the turning point for me. You truly helped get me through the hardest point in my life.

I made my first official post in the tag in February and, well, it’s been wonderful not being just a silent watcher. I’ve met amazing friends and, while I have my down days, I’ve become a happier, kinder person. I don’t think things would be the same if I hadn’t started watching you.

I ended up getting a tattoo on my wrist and, funny enough, Sunday marks one year since I got it.

This ended up being way longer than I anticipated but oH WELL. Thank you for helping me be a little bit happier, and thank you for building a community that loves and accepts everyone.


☕  latte-howell has reached 1000 followers! ☕

Holy heck! I cannot believe how much this blog has grown…when i started out i was the cringeworthy URL of smoldantrash and i’ve definitely rebranded and grown so much more! 

I wanted to shout out to all the amazing blogs that have helped this blog grow and more importantly how incredibly kind and sweet they are! 


@articulatehowell @anotherinternetfangirl @asteroidphil @acurlyphil @acespacedweller @astonishowell @buzzbeelester @borkdan @blushinlester @bloomingphil @between-the-dreams @blackparadehowell @bloomhowell @cansadda @cappuchinophil @celestialesters @classicalphilip @curlydans @colorlester @carbon-streaked-pyrite @cosmicphandom2k16 @charcoalvoid @cosmologicaldan @devilester @do-it-for-space-mom, @dantea @dandelionlester @dandromedas @dangoghs @dansforeheadcurl @daninthesheets 


@energeticwarrior @exxtrasolar @fourthingsandawizard @forihavethepoweroftriangles @florallylester@golddustphan @goddesslester @gloomylesterr @galactilatte @helloointernet @hobbithair @halcyonpete @iridescentlester @itisjustjas 


@jmrothwell @kat-pie @lovelylilaclester @little-lester @little-cheeky-monkey @lesterdreams @localantisocial @melapples-oil-on-canvas @moonbeamphil @nasa-howell @novocainehowell


@ohberlin @oopsimaphangirl @pasteldap @phantastically-unsure @planetliguori @pianissimoworld @purestdan @phantxsy @prettydan @princephil @plntphil @phanarchy @phanqueen17 @palrice8 @phangelina @philledwithpuns @phanismynewlifenow @rosequartzlester @rosehowell


@snugglylin @spacelester @starhowell @scarlett-phan @softlyrosey @subbydingdan @ship-hit-the-phan @sweetpeachlester @starlight-howlter @sadghostbxy @2sweetpeas-in-a-pod @thunderhowell @totallynotlevi @timidhowell @unorthodoxsavvy @wavydanrises @writerdan @zubat-phil

Thank you all so much for following me and supporting me! ♥

Also i’m so sorry if i forgot anybody, there’s so many blogs i’ve interacted with! 

(keep an eye out for more celebration stuff)

Some lines from Dear Evan Hansen that ruin me:

-will I ever be more than I’ve always been?
-all we see is sky for forever
-buddy you and I for forever this way
-all we see is light, cause the sun burns bright, like we’ll be alright.
-I’m sending pictures of the most amazing trees (no) you’ll be obsessed with all my forest expertise (absolutely not)
-you’re turning around, I can see (just wait and see)
-cause when the villains fall the kingdoms never weep, no one lights a candle to remember
- but what do you do when there’s this great divide? And what do you do when the distance is too wide?
-no one seems to care or stops to notice that we’re there so we get lost in the in between
-no one deserves to be forgotten
-if you never get around to doing some remarkable thing that doesn’t mean that you’re not worth remembering
-no one should flicker out or have any doubt that it matters that they are here
-and oh, someone will come runnin’ and I know they’ll take you home
-when you’re broken on the ground you will be found
-and what came before won’t count anymore or matter
-nobody else but the two of us here
-and you play who you need to play and you say what you need to say and if somebody’s in your way crush them and leave them behind well i guess if I’m not of use go ahead you can cut me loose go ahead now I won’t mind
-who somehow could see the good part of me
-sometimes you see everything you wanted and sometimes you see everything you wish you had and it’s right there right there right there in front of you and you want to believe it’s true
-no I’d rather pretend I’m something better than these broken parts, pretend I’m something other than this MESS that I am cause then I don’t have to look at it and NO ONE gets to look at it
-cause what if everyone saw? What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they HATE IT too?
-will I just keep on running away from what’s true? All I ever do is run.
-all of so big so small
-because today at least you’re you

my gifs, @neglectedrainbow, source here.