i'm not a self help book

I hope Thedas has self-help books, and I hope one of them is called something like “So You Love a Fereldan, And They Have a Mabari: How to Handle Not Being the Most Important Someone in Your Beloved’s Life”

Excerpt from the poem “Darling, I’m Drunk”, featured in Iain S. Thomas’ book How To Be Happy: Not a Self-Help Book. Seriously.

theatlantic.com
Forget Self-Esteem—Try Self-Compassion Instead
Trying to boost your own ego is largely pointless. Here's what works better.
By Olga Khazan

Khazan: So what is self-compassion? How is it better?
Neff: It means treating yourself with the same kind of kindness, care, compassion, as you would treat those you care about—your good friends, your loved ones.One component is self-kindness, which is in a way the most obvious. But it also entails a recognition of common humanity—in other words, the understanding that all people are imperfect, and all people have imperfect lives. Sometimes, when we fail, we react as if something has gone wrong—that this shouldn’t be happening. “I shouldn’t have failed, I shouldn’t have had this issue come up in my life.” And this sense that “this shouldn’t be happening,” as if everyone else in the world were living perfectly happy, unproblematic lives. That type of thinking really causes a lot of additional suffering, because people feel isolated and separated from the rest of humanity.

So, when we have self-compassion, when we fail, it’s not “poor me,” it’s “well, everyone fails.” Everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human. And that really radically alters how we relate to failure and difficulty. When we say, “Oh, this is normal, this is part of what it means to human,” that opens the door to the grow from the experience. If we feel like it’s abnormal, this shouldn’t be happening, then we start blaming ourselves.”

Some days I feel so hollow I swear you could scoop out the contents of my chest and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I walk weightless; a feat possible only after the conviction you’ve become nothing. So many believe a mental disorder hurts the mind, but it’s the mind that hurts me. How is something so futile so cruel?
—  Numb // A.S
you ruined me. you ruined me. you ruined me. you ruined me. you ruined me.
—  did you know that?
The Signs as Yu Yu Hakusho English Dub Quotes
  • Aries: 'You're hardly the standard for wild outbursts.' -Kurama
  • Taurus: 'Of all the nerve, assault me and then ask for a meal, you're getting squat!" -Kuwabara
  • Gemini: 'You shouldn't talk, it makes you sound stupid.' -Yusuke
  • Cancer: 'Oh, right, I'm killing you. Forgive me, I got distracted.' -Sensui
  • Leo: 'You wanna be buried in that or something decent?' -Koenma
  • Virgo: 'Only 300 seconds too late to matter.' -Hiei
  • Libra: 'Look at it this way, if demons did have toilets, would you really want to sit on 'em?' -Shizuru
  • Scorpio: 'I'm writing a self help book for bad guys and it's called Don't Piss Me Off' -Yusuke
  • Sagittarius: 'Oh, it doesn't help that I'm a blabbermouth and he's a telepath!" -Botan
  • Capricorn: 'Gladly, you patronizing jackass.' -Genkai
  • Aquarius: 'I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but you take the prize! The hell was that?! You don't make bombs go boom in your face!' -Jin
  • Pisces: 'What are the chances of a demon being a total wuss?' -Yusuke

Wing To The Face


(8th Year + Veela!Draco)


The Eight Year was different, that was for sure. All returning students who were supposed to graduate the previous year had been separated from their houses. They all now shared a new Common Room. At first it had been strange, but Harry quickly found out that he liked the idea quite a lot.


So no matter how novel it had felt sharing a Common Room with students who had been in the other Houses before, it hadn’t come even close to the grand surprise of the year. And namely - Malfoy’s Veela inheritance. Apparently the Malfoys had thought that there was no chance of Draco coming into his Veela inheritance but they had been clearly very wrong.


Harry could attest to that personally. When the white Veela wings had spurred out of Malfoy’s back after days of the other boy complaining about back pain, they had smacked Harry right in his face.


Everyone had been shocked, but no one had been more so than Malfoy himself. He had stumbled to his feet, the wings throwing his balance off. He obviously hadn’t known how to control them so he had simply clutched at them, trying to hold them close to his body and failing miserably. Parkinson and Zabini had helped him out of the Common Room in the end.


Harry had taken a good look at the wings when they had first appeared. And every other time ever since. Malfoy had a poor control over them, at least around Harry. So they made an appearance quite often. Often enough so that Malfoy had spelled all of his clothes to open at the back if needed.


Harry definitely didn’t mind seeing the wings. They were breathtakingly gorgeous. Their span was easily over three meters. Three meters of white soft feathers. At least Harry thought they were soft. He wouldn’t mind getting to know for sure. He wanted to touch them so badly sometimes, to feel their soft touch against his cheek, and against his naked body…


That train of thoughts had brought up the question of whether Malfoy had allure or not. Apparently, the rest of the students were of the opinion that he didn’t. Harry wasn’t so sure. Why else would he want to press his naked body against Malfoy’s wings?


If Malfoy didn’t have the allure, there was only one other explanation for Harry’s desires. He simply had a weird wing kink. Yes, that’s what he kept telling himself until he realized that his eyes kept searching for Malfoy, no matter whether the other boy had his wings out or not. He wanted Malfoy’s attention. He wanted Malfoy to press his lips to his and shove his tongue down Harry’s throat. He wanted Malfoy’s hand down his pants. He wanted to wrap his arms around Malfoy and fall asleep with him. He wanted to make Malfoy happy, to see him smile at him.


Harry still thought the wings were hot, but he was forced to admit that his attraction to Draco run a little deeper than a wing kink. And now that he knew that, it wasn’t that hard to see some of the signs from even before Draco came into his Veela inheritance. But the sad truth remained - Draco had a mate out there and there was simply no way that that mate was Harry.


At least that’s what he thought until one Monday evening Draco slammed a heavy old book titled “How To Woo Your Veela - The Best Self-help Of The Veela Mate” on Harry’s desk.

ohsirensong  asked:

Not to be so blunt but...how do you stay so happy and positive all the time? You're so light and radiate good vibes!! I'm trying to be more like that and it's going well mostly, but I'm still riddled with negative emotions (depression doesn't help that either) and it just makes me feel so awful and like I'm never going to make any progress 😭😔

Oh sweetheart just keep trying (rest when you need to, but don’t give up) I’ve struggled with severe anxiety and depression most of my life and it’s literally all about perspective.
Keep a journal to write positive, uplifting and inspiring quotes or passages from books, read and follow self help or spiritual books and blogs, make gratitude lists and appreciate every little thing, be productive when you can and pick up old hobbies or start new ones, spend time doing things you enjoy and only with those who support you, compliment yourself (on more than your appearance), be proud of every little thing you do (even if it’s just getting dressed), help others if you can (volunteer, spread kindness, donate) and please take care of yourself and talk to someone or get help if you need it! Also be aware of what you’re exposing yourself to, sending you so much love 🙏🏼💗

anonymous asked:

hey! i've been wanting to speak fluent japanese ever since i was 10 (i'm 14) and i plan to live there but i don't know where to start. there are no lessons near my area and my mom does not trust any online courses. i've tried researching some books but i'm scared they won't be enough if i want to speak fluent. do you have any suggestions? (i'm willing to try out any books that YOU think will help) hope you have a great day!

Hello! 

1) I’m sorry your mother doesn’t trust online resources, because there are so many great, reliable and above all free options. Just in case she changes her mind, @japanesetranslated, who self-studies and has never used a textbook, has this list of suggestions. Another great list of online resources is this one by @mujistudies.

2) If online isn’t possible, I suggest the Genki textbooks, available on Amazon. There are various other series, but that’s the one I’d recommend for a young learner. The books have CDs.

3) Here’s my answer as a language teacher, because this applies to any language. You can’t speak without speaking. Of course. If you don’t have lessons in your area and can’t use online resources, well, talk to yourself. Talk to your dog. Talk aloud. Pretend you’re narrating a documentary about your own life in Japanese and verbalize every single thing you do and think. That is, in your own room, not in public. (^-^)

Record yourself, listen, identify your mistakes, respond to yourself. Hey, at least you’ll be in good company, huh? :)

Rent or buy Studio Ghibli DVDs with Japanese soundtracks and shadow their dialogues. (While listening, try to repeat aloud – to “shadow” – what you hear as quickly as you hear it.)

Be patient. Don’t give up. It takes a long time. Good luck!

If @japanesetranslated and @shoku-and-awe have any other suggestions, please jump in! 

Edit added a few minutes later: Please read the comments, too: great ideas and further help offered! (I’ll wait a few hours and then reblog relevant comments.)

it’s my last day at church tomorrow and apparently everyone wants to pray for me so I’m gonna have to go up in the center of the sanctuary and be Paid Attention To and pretend that any of this moves me emotionally (it never has which is part of why i felt so guilty before), all of which I hate, but it’ll be my last time so it’s endurable

anyway they wanted to “lay hands on me” bc that’s extremely standard when praying for someone in this type of Christianity, but i said no to that because that many people touching me for that long is like……a Nightmare so now Mom’s going to touch me and they’re going to touch Mom, but I don’t actually get why touching is necessary? 

like if it comforts the person you’re praying for, sure that’s a good thing, but like, it clearly doesn’t me, so why bother with the circumlocution? surely if God is all-powerful, He has the capability to hear and understand prayers without the pray-ers being in physical contact with the subject of the prayer?

I’m not mocking here, it’s just weird to me that Mom’s response to “I don’t want to be touched by strangers” is “okay, the strangers will touch me on your behalf while I touch you to pass it on” and not “okay, touching isn’t necessary”.

anonymous asked:

Who decided that people aren't supposed to read YA adult novels after they leave school? Or that once you're a "proper grown up" the only stuff you can read is self-help books, autobiographies and erotica? (I'm sorry this isn't relevant but it just pisses me off...)

Not at all!  People tend to take elitist attitudes towards literature and fiction, which typically stem from deep-seeded insecurity about their own intelligence and/or a desire to feel superior to others.  

Somewhere along the line, these people developed the idea that Good Literature™ should be judged by merit of intellectual pretentiousness instead of its ability to provoke thought while still being enjoyable.  Which, incidentally, a lot of the best YA literature is.  

Don’t write or read to please these people;  it isn’t worth it, and they have no real concept of what good literature actually is.   

anonymous asked:

Effie my life is kinda fucked and I'll spare you the boring details but, can you recommend a show or song or something relaxing or fun you like to do. I just need a small amount of peace to detach myself from reality, just for a little while

I’m sorry boo :( please message me if you wanna talk I’m here for u bb.

I’ll make a list!

youtube

  • rip vine compilations ! I love these
  • skincare routines (unless u get triggered by things involving beauty)
  • makeup tutorials (same as above)
  • puppy videos, esp the ones with soldiers coming home to pets ones I always get so soft
  • speed paint… it’s just… calming
  • dance vids ! like hope one the street ! i love those
  • hair braiding or styling vids but specifically braiding.. idk watching someone go through to process of braiding and styling is soothing

tv and movies

  • daredevil
  • orange is the new black
  • too cute (a show about different puppy litters growing up it’s adorable !!!!)
  • izombie
  • that 70s show
  • anything studio ghibli
  • nicholas sparks movies bc u can turn off ur brain n just curl up n watch!
  • superhero movies

music

  • so my fav piece of all time to listen to, tho it’s classical, is Dona Nobis Pacem by Vaughan Williams. it’s kinda sad but also uplifting and a really amazing experience… follow along with the lyrics which are poems by Walt Whitman
  • for more classical music if ur interested I made a post just search classical music on my blog!
  • i also like going through full rap albums –
  • to pimp a butterfly by Kendrick lamar (and an album of songs that didn’t make it there- untitled unmastered)
  • young frank sinatra by logic
  • naznyc by nas and az
  • illmatic by nas
  • college drop out by Kanye west
  • telefone by noname
  • HERE BY ALICIA KEYS !!!
  • coloring book by chance the rapper
  • NAMJOONS MIXTAPE!!!
  • and then outside of rap–
  • vaporwave kinda chills me out
  • those 6 hours of [insert composer] piano music videos
  • anything stromae
  • anything daddy yankee
that’s all I can think of hopefully that helps? I’d also like to add that cooking/baking and self pampering (face/hair masks, doing nails etc) are distractions that I’ve always liked. oh and if u like reading Lord of the Rings and The Wheel of Time are great series that are super engaging
About Andrew + music

Somewhen during his time in foster homes Andrew began listening to a lot of music, after he got himself some headphones, as a distraction.
Music became his safe haven, where the voices thrumming in his ears were louder than those in his head. He began humming along and even started singing until one rather violent foster father had yelled at him to shut the fuck up and had gotten quite handy with him. Since then he never sang aloud again but he continued to listen to the music that kept saving him.

The first time he sang again was in company of Neil; Andrew had gotten his earplugs and given one to Neil to show him some of his favourite songs as Neil never had much of an opportunity to get into music. After a while Andrew began to sing along, and Neil just gaped at him because damn if that wasn’t beautiful.

Since then Neil begs him to sing for him again and Andrew just glares at him but then complies because he secretly loves singing to Neil even though he’s still self-conscious about it.
After making it a routine between them both though, Andrew starts getting used to it again, thanks to Neil’s reassurances and steadying presence.

anonymous asked:

how do you support your lavish lifestyle? you've had one tiny book of poems, and make YouTube videos once a month. Yet you live in a London flat and wear expensive clothes...? Do your parents help you or is all your money just from that one book? I'm an aspiring writer, and I'm just wondering how someone so young is able to make a living off of writing when so many others have to have a second job well into their 40s/50s.

So, I certainly wouldn’t call the way I live “lavish,” and as it turns out, it doesn’t matter how “tiny” your book is - it just matters how many you sell. ;)

But yeah, no, I’m completely self-sufficient. I make money from Graffiti, I make money from merchandise, I make money from appearances/performances, and I’ll be receiving an advance once the contract for the novel is finalized.

Won’t comment on any more than that because this question seems slightly…presumptuous. 

Edit: Will point out that I am incredibly lucky, and I wouldn’t be able to do any of this had I not grown an audience beforehand. 

Who The Fuck Knows

You know what I find terrifically hilarious? Me. On a real level, I’m a joke. Here I am crying, self-loathing, drinking, destroying myself all the while I have no apparent reason. I’m a mess. I can’t fix it. I can only continue on my destructive path because that’s the only thing we’re capable of, right?

anonymous asked:

How did you get your book published? I have always wanted to publish a book but I'm not sure of what ways to do it without a publishing deal from a book company. Thank you so much in advance.

Hi there! I used a site called Lulu.com, which is a service that allows you to self-publish your work and then either print it privately or sell it online. 

No problem at all. If you have any more questions about the blog or network, please direct them to our gentle reminder self help network tumblr

I hope you have a lovely day. :)

Confession: Most of the time, I hate my writing.

You may be thinking, “That Jovana, she’s a tough girl. And she’s always giving advice; she must be confident.” You might even have enjoyed a poem or two I’ve posted on my Tumblr.

But, there it is: I am 90% convinced I’m a bad writer. 

I’m not fishing for compliments, or trying to say that I’m a “good enough” writer that I deserve to be confident.

Almost everyone who writes consistently over a long period develops such a keen taste that they scrutinize every fault in their writing. We also envy skills in other people’s work that our work lacks. Sometimes, when I read wildly popular work I hate, I wonder if I need to revamp my entire writing style to match it.

While endlessly hating your writing is a fruitless endeavour, it’s natural. Don’t fight it; embrace it. We wouldn’t be working our butts off on our stories if we didn’t feel enough passion to power through the self-doubt. If we didn’t care enough to question whether we’re doing our craft justice. 

Sometimes, we care too much and forget about the fun reasons we’re here.

"I'm too straight for that"

Was asking for LGBT book recs, preferably ff, and had someone try to help me, but

Them: “I have plenty of mm, but not a lot of ff. I’m too straight for that. I can’t get into the romances and the sex scenes are just ick.”

Me: “………………But you can read mm?”

Them: “Oh yeah, I’m a huge yaoi fan.”

This, ladies, gentlemen, and non-binaries, is called fetishizing AND IT IS A PROBLEM.

Sigh.

Also, the absolute lack of self awareness that when someone is searching specifically for wlw stories, you turn around and tell that person it’s gross?? Like LGBT ppl wouldn’t be searching for stories OF PEOPLE LIKE THEM?!?