i'm not a self help book

theatlantic.com
Forget Self-Esteem—Try Self-Compassion Instead
Trying to boost your own ego is largely pointless. Here's what works better.
By Olga Khazan

Khazan: So what is self-compassion? How is it better?
Neff: It means treating yourself with the same kind of kindness, care, compassion, as you would treat those you care about—your good friends, your loved ones.One component is self-kindness, which is in a way the most obvious. But it also entails a recognition of common humanity—in other words, the understanding that all people are imperfect, and all people have imperfect lives. Sometimes, when we fail, we react as if something has gone wrong—that this shouldn’t be happening. “I shouldn’t have failed, I shouldn’t have had this issue come up in my life.” And this sense that “this shouldn’t be happening,” as if everyone else in the world were living perfectly happy, unproblematic lives. That type of thinking really causes a lot of additional suffering, because people feel isolated and separated from the rest of humanity.

So, when we have self-compassion, when we fail, it’s not “poor me,” it’s “well, everyone fails.” Everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human. And that really radically alters how we relate to failure and difficulty. When we say, “Oh, this is normal, this is part of what it means to human,” that opens the door to the grow from the experience. If we feel like it’s abnormal, this shouldn’t be happening, then we start blaming ourselves.”

Some days I feel so hollow I swear you could scoop out the contents of my chest and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I walk weightless; a feat possible only after the conviction you’ve become nothing. So many believe a mental disorder hurts the mind, but it’s the mind that hurts me. How is something so futile so cruel?
—  Numb // A.S

I hope Thedas has self-help books, and I hope one of them is called something like “So You Love a Fereldan, And They Have a Mabari: How to Handle Not Being the Most Important Someone in Your Beloved’s Life”

ACOMAF Character MBTI Type headcanons:

obviously not every single one of the strengths and weaknesses apply to every character but mostly I think they’re pretty accurate. 

Feyre: ISTJ

Strengthsknowledgeable, strong-willed, responsible, dutiful, calm, direct, orderly, practical, honest. 

Weaknesses: stubborn, insensitive, judgmental, always by the book, blame themselves 

Rhys: ENFJ

Strengths: tolerant, reliable, charismatic, altruistic, natural leaders

Weaknesses: overly idealistic, too selfless, too sensitive, indecisive, fluctuating self-esteem

Lucien: ENFP

Strengths:  curious, observant, energetic, enthusiastic, very friendly, good communicators, can relax

Weaknesses: impractical, bad at focusing, over-think things, easily stressed, highly emotional

Mor: ESTP

Strengths:  bold, honest, perceptive, original, rational practical, good people skills, direct 

Weaknesses:  rule breakers, risk-takers, academically challenged, insensitive, impatient, miss the big picture 

Cassian: ESFJ

Strengths: looks for win/win situations, loyal, sensitive, warm, practical, can connect with people 

Weaknesses:  egotistical, inflexible, unwilling to improvise, very vulnerable to critisism, too selfless, very needy

Azriel: ISFJ

Strengths:  very supportive, enthusiastic, loyal, hardworking, patient, observant, reliable, practical  

Weaknesses: shy, overload themselves, take things too personally, hate change, altruistic, repress their emotions 

Amren: ISTP

Strengths:  optimistic, energetic, level-headed, creative, practical, relaxed, rational, mildly spontaneous

Weaknesses: stubborn, reserved, very private, easily bored, insensitive, risk-takers, hate commitment 

Nesta: INTJ

Strengths:  strategic, quick-thinkers, self-confident, decisive, hardworking, determined, open-minded, knowledgeable 

Weaknesses:  arrogant, judgmental, too analytic, hate structure, clueless in romance 

Elain: ESFP

Strengths: bold, original, observant, sense of beauty, practical, excellent people skills 

Weaknesses:  have difficulty focusing, very sensitive, poor planners, always seek excitement, academically challenged, loathe conflict

Strengths and weaknesses originally from this post 

sometimes i’m like *record screech* wow. regina adopted a baby because she was literally just… bored

of course she couldn’t have a child with graham because he was just a boy toy, and she couldn’t like, wait. so she went to the Shady Adoption Agency of New England to purchase her (probably trafficked) child as quickly as possible

but when this poor infant child cried too much her first instinct wasn’t to read self-help books or find another mother in town to ask advice, but to yell SHIT SHIT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO, TAKE IT BACK

i guess she made it through that and loved him and stuff and he was well-fed and clothed and had a nice physical existence

but then when he grew up and developed a little conscience of his own and became a smart, curious, lonely little boy who solved a mystery and came to her about it - instead of ‘fessing up and admitting she had done something wrong, her first instinct was to gaslight her ten-year-old child into thinking he was crazy

….anyway like, all the fairy tale stuff aside, regina was a super fucked up mother

This remains one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. It’s a self help book from the 1930s called Orchids On Your Budget, and it’s phenomenal. Apparently husbands are more detrimental to your budget than diamonds. And the discerning lady of quality knows that diamonds are both a) forever and b) never going to make you look bad in public. So pick carefully.

Of course if one is fortunate enough to find a manageable fellow inclined toward domestic bliss rather than tom foolery, one can always have HIM buy the diamonds. The truly discerning lady can have both her cake and the whipped cream, should she want it.

I find it hilarious that doctors actually recommend 400-page self help ADHD books to ADHD people like LMAO ARE YOU SERIOUS

but in all seriousness it’s awful that the people that create this content geared towards us don’t even care about putting it in a more accessible format for, yknow, the people who actually have ADHD????

A bit of Shameless Advertising Here

Hey all,

I can’t really afford advertising space atm so I figured I’d post this here.

I’m an author. As in, I write and self-publish books on Amazon. So far I have two. However, I also work in retail and go to college full time.

I’m not gonna put out the proverbial tin mug asking for tips, but I am going to leave links to my two books in case your’re interested. There’s Dollhouse, and then there’s The City We Know. Both have sequels in the making.

The City We Know: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LXCGBN7

Dollhouse: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L9WM83O

I would be grateful if anyone was willing to buy. I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but you might enjoy them. There’s a Kindle ebook version as well as a paperback of each. And of course, descriptions are on the pages.

If it’s not too much trouble, please consider reblogging. It would really help a lot.

What if

What if Temmie was a virus, which is why they isolated the Tems in their village where no one could find them. What if Temmie got out and infected monsters and they popped Temmie ears and a Temmie tail as a result. What if the Undertale skelebros were infected by the Tem, what if Underfell Paps was infected by the Tem, what if Underswap Sans was infected by the Tem haaaah

I must control myself.

Originally posted by nyanpasuminasan

Guys I am so close to finishing this novel that I can taste it. SO CLOSE. Another 5k and I’m DONE. I’m pulling an all-nighter. Book 3 completion date 15/8/15 or bust. 

Also I turn 23 on Monday and I want to finish it before then so I can say that I wrote it when I was 22. FOR REASONS. Arbitrary self-imposed deadlines based on my own age are PROBABLY A HEALTHY IDEA, RIGHT?!?!