i'm not a self help book

I hope Thedas has self-help books, and I hope one of them is called something like “So You Love a Fereldan, And They Have a Mabari: How to Handle Not Being the Most Important Someone in Your Beloved’s Life”

theatlantic.com
Forget Self-Esteem—Try Self-Compassion Instead
Trying to boost your own ego is largely pointless. Here's what works better.
By Olga Khazan

Khazan: So what is self-compassion? How is it better?
Neff: It means treating yourself with the same kind of kindness, care, compassion, as you would treat those you care about—your good friends, your loved ones.One component is self-kindness, which is in a way the most obvious. But it also entails a recognition of common humanity—in other words, the understanding that all people are imperfect, and all people have imperfect lives. Sometimes, when we fail, we react as if something has gone wrong—that this shouldn’t be happening. “I shouldn’t have failed, I shouldn’t have had this issue come up in my life.” And this sense that “this shouldn’t be happening,” as if everyone else in the world were living perfectly happy, unproblematic lives. That type of thinking really causes a lot of additional suffering, because people feel isolated and separated from the rest of humanity.

So, when we have self-compassion, when we fail, it’s not “poor me,” it’s “well, everyone fails.” Everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human. And that really radically alters how we relate to failure and difficulty. When we say, “Oh, this is normal, this is part of what it means to human,” that opens the door to the grow from the experience. If we feel like it’s abnormal, this shouldn’t be happening, then we start blaming ourselves.”

Some days I feel so hollow I swear you could scoop out the contents of my chest and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I walk weightless; a feat possible only after the conviction you’ve become nothing. So many believe a mental disorder hurts the mind, but it’s the mind that hurts me. How is something so futile so cruel?
—  Numb // A.S
The Signs as Yu Yu Hakusho English Dub Quotes
  • Aries: 'You're hardly the standard for wild outbursts.' -Kurama
  • Taurus: 'Of all the nerve, assault me and then ask for a meal, you're getting squat!" -Kuwabara
  • Gemini: 'You shouldn't talk, it makes you sound stupid.' -Yusuke
  • Cancer: 'Oh, right, I'm killing you. Forgive me, I got distracted.' -Sensui
  • Leo: 'You wanna be buried in that or something decent?' -Koenma
  • Virgo: 'Only 300 seconds too late to matter.' -Hiei
  • Libra: 'Look at it this way, if demons did have toilets, would you really want to sit on 'em?' -Shizuru
  • Scorpio: 'I'm writing a self help book for bad guys and it's called Don't Piss Me Off' -Yusuke
  • Sagittarius: 'Oh, it doesn't help that I'm a blabbermouth and he's a telepath!" -Botan
  • Capricorn: 'Gladly, you patronizing jackass.' -Genkai
  • Aquarius: 'I thought I was crazy, Urameshi, but you take the prize! The hell was that?! You don't make bombs go boom in your face!' -Jin
  • Pisces: 'What are the chances of a demon being a total wuss?' -Yusuke

anonymous asked:

when does dennis say he finds mac attractive?

here’s a brief list, in order of most concrete to possibly a reach:

  • this extended scene from “mac and dennis break up” where he says that mac has “nice bis” and “beautiful lips” 
  • in “ass kickers united” there’s a scene in which dennis tells mac that he’s “been looking so great lately! so sexy!” 
  • from pg. 143 of the gang’s self help book, dennis says that mac is a 3 on the ugly scale (while charlie is a 5, frank is a 6, and dee is a 9)
  • in “the gang gets analyzed” we find out that dennis has been giving mac “size pills” because he used to look gross, implying that he doesn’t anymore
  • lip biting is a common indicator of attraction… guess who bites his lips a lot when looking at mac? that’s right (two memorable lip bites are in “flowers for charlie” when they’re swaying to chicago, and in “frank’s back in business” when dennis is trying to convince mac to get off with him)
About Andrew + music

Somewhen during his time in foster homes Andrew began listening to a lot of music, after he got himself some headphones, as a distraction.
Music became his safe haven, where the voices thrumming in his ears were louder than those in his head. He began humming along and even started singing until one rather violent foster father had yelled at him to shut the fuck up and had gotten quite handy with him. Since then he never sang aloud again but he continued to listen to the music that kept saving him.

The first time he sang again was in company of Neil; Andrew had gotten his earplugs and given one to Neil to show him some of his favourite songs as Neil never had much of an opportunity to get into music. After a while Andrew began to sing along, and Neil just gaped at him because damn if that wasn’t beautiful.

Since then Neil begs him to sing for him again and Andrew just glares at him but then complies because he secretly loves singing to Neil even though he’s still self-conscious about it.
After making it a routine between them both though, Andrew starts getting used to it again, thanks to Neil’s reassurances and steadying presence.

anonymous asked:

How did you get your book published? I have always wanted to publish a book but I'm not sure of what ways to do it without a publishing deal from a book company. Thank you so much in advance.

Hi there! I used a site called Lulu.com, which is a service that allows you to self-publish your work and then either print it privately or sell it online. 

No problem at all. If you have any more questions about the blog or network, please direct them to our gentle reminder self help network tumblr

I hope you have a lovely day. :)

anonymous asked:

Hi! I saw your posts about Anne with an E and you made me curious: what don't you like? I only saw the movies, which I love, and read a bit of the books so I'm not trying to start a discourse, just curious because I see a lot of people expressing your same opinion!

I love the movies as well: they convey, like the books, the comfort and brightness of Avonlea, which represents for Anne a safe heaven, and helps her grow into her best self—educated, confident, lovely and loving. Anne with an E turns that fundamental feeling on its head, and breaks the spell of Green Gables. 

Anne of Green Gables is not merely a children’s book: it’s also a bildungsroman, and although Anne lives happily, she does have a rough past and encounter obstacles—but these obstacles are surmounted, and help her grow. Anne with an E, on the other hand, uses traumatising flash-backs with generosity, and refuses (for the sake of realism, perhaps? Shock value?) to make Avonlea into what it should be : a new family for Anne (’it takes a village…’), a fertile soil where she will learn about happiness, and bloom. Anne is supposed to feel at home at Green Gables, and in Avonlea. 

I’m all for liberal adaptations and for expansions on the canon; I wouldn’t have minded (sometimes grotesque) flash-backs, on-the-nose feminism, and strange additions, if there was a sense of faithfulness. And don’t get me wrong, faithfulness itself is a thorny concept. But Anne with an E feels like a rip-off of Anne of Green Gables’ premise, with Dickensian—if not downright gothic— child horror from there. Avonlea is distrustful, hurtful, and shuns Anne out from the start; because she suffers from PTSD (believable enough), Anne herself is not the Anne from the movies or from the books: the true Anne is fanciful, charismatic, and idealistic—what’s magnetic about her is the sense of pure freedom she exudes. She heightens reality with imaginative additions and bright enthusiasm; she’s confident, willing to learn, and full of love. Because of her more difficult past and the new take on her character, Anne with an E’s Anne has none of this peculiar charisma: she’s fearful of everything, tyrannic with those weaker than her (the servant boy!), distastefully famished for acceptance, willing to shut up her usually loud, soulful creativity to please. She says it herself: she has never been a child. Problem is, the real Anne was at her most enticing when she was herself a child—which she definitely was, for two or three books. Most importantly, this Anne doesn’t heighten reality through imagination anymore: in Anne with an E, her imagination is merely used to escape reality. There’s no joy there.

Avonlea is supposed to be the escape itself—for Anne, for us as readers, viewers. A town where puff sleeves represent the summit of happiness, where boys are sweet and girls organise picnics in the gentle forests and where nature is always as beautiful as a dream. The series show a dangerous Avonlea, where cliffs look ragged and dangly teens call Anne a dog and where a sweet touch of the hands between young adults becomes a sexual scandal. So, yeah. I get the idea. It’s edgy to be gritty. But eh, adapt another book, and leave Montgomery and Avonlea in peace.

Confession: Most of the time, I hate my writing.

You may be thinking, “That Jovana, she’s a tough girl. And she’s always giving advice; she must be confident.” You might even have enjoyed a poem or two I’ve posted on my Tumblr.

But, there it is: I am 90% convinced I’m a bad writer. 

I’m not fishing for compliments, or trying to say that I’m a “good enough” writer that I deserve to be confident.

Almost everyone who writes consistently over a long period develops such a keen taste that they scrutinize every fault in their writing. We also envy skills in other people’s work that our work lacks. Sometimes, when I read wildly popular work I hate, I wonder if I need to revamp my entire writing style to match it.

While endlessly hating your writing is a fruitless endeavour, it’s natural. Don’t fight it; embrace it. We wouldn’t be working our butts off on our stories if we didn’t feel enough passion to power through the self-doubt. If we didn’t care enough to question whether we’re doing our craft justice. 

Sometimes, we care too much and forget about the fun reasons we’re here.

nitrogennightmare  asked:

Hello Mod! I have Volume I of TPoH and I love it soso much. I would love to throw money at you for a second volume. Is that something that will ever happen? I know you're busy doing art! But I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Have a great day!

I really hope so, but I am still trying to find someone who can distribute the books! the manual effort of parcelling and carrying them to the post office is getting too much for my hands to cope with and a second volume would make a huge surge in work on that end- if all else fails I’ll self publish again like with Volume 1 but I am really hoping to find some pro help for the task

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously anymore. Fight Club is an expression of toxic masculinity that is worth nothing? Hell, everything about that ask is wrong, but that one in particular... Wow.

Just so we’re clear, this is the book about a man who feels so emasculated by modern society and consumer culture that he visits a self help group for men who have, literally, had their testicles surgically removed. When he encounters a woman invading his territory, his only response is to engage in increasingly violent and destructive acts, culminating in a failed terrorist bombing? We’re talking about the same story, right?

Yeah, can’t imagine how anyone could consider that toxic masculinity.

The novel is actually quite good. It’s not a pleasant read, and I wouldn’t recommend it as entertainment, but it is worth reading. Chuck Palahniuk is a very skilled writer. He has a visceral, “gross-out,” style that obfuscates just how sharp his material is. It’s easy to pick up Fight Club and soak in the hyper-aggressive elements and miss just how critical the book is.

But, that’s not what we were talking about.

We were talking about the fight club itself. The organization in the novel and film. The one which morphs into Project Mayhem. That is worthless, and without redeeming value. The fight club started by the narrator is an expression of toxic masculinity. It doesn’t teach people how to fight, no matter how awesome it makes the narrator feel about himself in the moment.

(I’m just going to refer to the narrator as Jack from here on out. The name comes from the film, not the book, but it’s faster to type.)

The fight club itself, is a tantrum, being thrown by a man child who has no model for what it means to be an adult, and isn’t satisfied by the options he sees in the world. Looking for a venue to release his pent up aggression, he resorts to violence. Jack moans about how, because his father abandoned him, he has no concept of who he should be. Ultimately, he is terrified of being an adult. Everything that follows is Jack acting out against the world.

There’s a weird element where you can intentionally read Jack as a teenage rebellion, a few decades too late. This is probably why the Calvin & Hobbes misread plays so well. At several levels, Jack is still a child, and written as such. Remember, before the novel opens, Jack’s job is to look at horrifically mangled bodies (auto insurance investigator). This is an adult version of a little kid looking at, “gross stuff,” and then enthusiastically inflicting that on people around them for shock value. Which should also sound familiar when discussing Tyler Durden and Marla.

So, yes, the novel Fight Club is about toxic masculinity. The fight club itself is an expression of the same. It’s easy to read the surface message and run with the idea that the book is advocating the position of the protagonist. Until you remember that the entire third act of the book (and film) is Jack losing control of Project Mayhem, and trying to stop them from bombing buildings.

Fight Club isn’t exclusively about toxic masculinity. There are very strong themes of establishing a personal identity, and learning to communicate with others scattered through the novel. They’re mixed in with large quantities of puerile behavior, and aggressive missteps by the various characters. Toxic masculinity is a major part, because it’s the first place Jack goes, and it colors the rest of his experiences, even after he’s decided on a different approach.

It’s a very good, and quite challenging book. Certainly not for everyone. However, the fight club itself is, ultimately, a self destructive exercise. You don’t learn to fight by punching your imaginary friend.

-Starke

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The film adaptation is pretty good as well. As with the book, it requires some critical thinking to fully parse, but don’t let that scare you off.

Just a head up that unless plans spontaneously change I won’t be around until June 10th at the earliest (possibly longer). If anything changes (like me being stuck in Disneyland for two months instead of just one) I’ve instructed @drxdlocks to give you guys a heads up. Otherwise, see you all on the other side.

studytolive  asked:

What books do you use to learn Chinese? Would you recommend them?

thx for your message! i only use one book (i breifly talked about it here) it’s a really good book and cover a lot of stuffs; grammar, writing, oral comprehension… (it comes with a CD) but it’s all in french - so unless your french is very good i wouldn’t recomend it haha - i’m actually taking mandarin chinese classes this year, so what i usually use might not be useful to ppl self-studying :/ (sorry ;;)

a-dark-day  asked:

Do you know of any good YA books with lgbtq characters? I'm kind of sick of every book being 100% straight or the lgbtq characters are only there because of their sexuality.

Well, love, if youre looking for lgbt books look no further than tumblr. Check out @queer-reads for books ranging from fiction t self help guides. Also look at @lgbtbookrec too! Being u derrepresentrd sucks and the samr old straight stories grt boring. But my personal favorite book may be Fan Art by Sarah Tregay. Good luck and happy reading!

so i’m gonna tell a little story
i have exactly $2 in my bank account at the moment but i still NEEDED to read this book asap. i was gonna go to the bookstore just to read it in the store bc there was no way i could wait until i got payed friday to read it. i timidly asked my mom if she would loan me the money and i would pay her back and she asked me what it was. i told her and she said oh of course that’s fine. fast forward to a couple hours later she gets home finds me crying on the couch and asks me what’s wrong. i had just got done reading ‘the pages i hope you never have to read’, and i literally sat there and read those pages aloud to her with tears in my eyes. that was probably the first time in a long time that i let her see what i was really feeling. i had just told her that he wrote exactly what i felt and what i needed to hear. it was the first time i felt like she really understood how much my depression/anxiety affected me and how it was still an ongoing battle in my life. a few hours after this i tried to tell her again that i was going to pay her back for this. she literally stopped me and said “no, this book is really helping you so don’t even worry about it this is a gift from me.” this may seem like a minute detail to most of you but to me it meant so much. my mom has always deflected my depression/anxiety as something that can be solved with a simple prayer. that’s why i was always afraid to reach out and talk about things like this bc believe me i prayed so many nights but nothing would ever get better for more than a short period of time. so yeah that being said i’m so grateful for this book and it’s opened my eyes in so many ways. people are probably tired of me going on about it but i don’t care. i have been in one of my lowest states in a long time these past couple weeks and this gave me hope for a better future for myself. i think i’m gonna finally talk to my mom about therapy (after almost 9 long years !!!!!!!) so yeah i’m so grateful for @connorfranta for creating something that i could connect with so deeply. you’re a beautiful soul and i’m so proud of how much you’ve grown. you inspire me in so many ways xx