i'm making a thing this is how excited i am about this

Want to know me better? Send me any number!
  • 1: My name?
  • 2: Do I have any nicknames?
  • 3: Zodiac sign?
  • 4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?
  • 5: Book/series I reread?
  • 6: Aliens or ghosts?
  • 7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?
  • 8: Favourite radio station?
  • 9: Favourite flavour of anything?
  • 10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great?
  • 11: Favourite song?
  • 12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better?
  • 13: Favourite word?
  • 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?
  • 15: Last song I listened to?
  • 16: TV show I always recommend?
  • 17: Pirates or ninjas?
  • 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down?
  • 19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song?
  • 20: Favourite video games?
  • 21: What am I most afraid of?
  • 22: A good quality of mine?
  • 23: A bad quality of mine?
  • 24: Cats or dogs?
  • 25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in?
  • 26: Favourite season?
  • 27: Am I in a relationship?
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  • 34: Someone I always think about?
  • 35: Am I excited about anything?
  • 36: My current obsession?
  • 37: Favourite TV shows as a child?
  • 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to?
  • 39: Am I superstitious?
  • 40: What do I think about most?
  • 41: Do I have any strange phobias?
  • 42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?
  • 43: Favourite hobbies?
  • 44: Last book I read?
  • 45: Last film I watched?
  • 46: Do I play any instruments?
  • 47: Favourite animal?
  • 48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow?
  • 49: Superpower I wish I could have?
  • 50: How do I destress?
  • 51: Do I like confrontation?
  • 52: When do I feel most at peace?
  • 53: What makes me smile?
  • 54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off?
  • 55: Play any sports?
  • 56: What is my song of the week?
  • 57: Favourite drink?
  • 58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody?
  • 59: Afraid of heights?
  • 60: Pet peeve?
  • 61: What was the last concert I went to see?
  • 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?
  • 63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger?
  • 64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy?
  • 65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?
  • 66: Something I worry about?
  • 67: Scared of the dark?
  • 68: Who are my best friends?
  • 69: What do I admire most about others?
  • 70: Can I sing?
  • 71: Something I wish I could do?
  • 72: If I won the lottery, what would I do?
  • 73: Have I ever skipped school?
  • 74: Favourite place on the planet?
  • 75: Where do I want to live?
  • 76: Do I have any pets?
  • 77: What is my current desktop picture?
  • 78: Early bird or night owl?
  • 79: Sunsets or sunrise?
  • 80: Can I drive?
  • 81: Story behind my last kiss?
  • 82: Earphones or headphones?
  • 83: Have I ever had braces?
  • 84: Story behind one of my scars?
  • 85: Favourite genre of music?
  • 86: Who is my hero?
  • 87: Favourite comic book character?
  • 88: What makes me really angry?
  • 89: Kindle or real book?
  • 90: Favourite sporty activity?
  • 91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be?
  • 92: What was my favourite subject at school?
  • 93: Siblings?
  • 94: What was the last thing I bought?
  • 95: How tall am I?
  • 96: Can I cook?
  • 97: Can I bake?
  • 98: 3 things I love?
  • 99: 3 things I hate?
  • 100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?
  • 101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys?
  • 102: Where was I born?
  • 103: Sexual orientation?
  • 104: Where do I currently live?
  • 105: Last person I texted?
  • 106: Last time I cried?
  • 107: Guilty pleasure?
  • 108: Favourite Youtuber?
  • 109: A photo of myself.
  • 110: Do I like selfies?
  • 111: Favourite game app?
  • 112: My relationship with my parents?
  • 113: Favourite accents?
  • 114: A place I have not been but wish to visit?
  • 115: Favourite number?
  • 116: Can I juggle?
  • 117: Am I religious?
  • 118: Do I like space?
  • 119: Do I like the deep ocean?
  • 120: Am I much of a daredevil?
  • 121: Am I allergic to anything?
  • 122: Can I curl my tongue?
  • 123: Can I wiggle my ears?
  • 124: Do I like clowns?
  • 125: The Beatles or Elvis?
  • 126: My current project?
  • 127: Am I a bad loser?
  • 128: Do I admit when I wrong?
  • 129: Forest or beach?
  • 130: Favourite piece of advice?
  • 131: Am I a good liar?
  • 132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district?
  • 133: Do I talk to myself?
  • 134: Am I very social?
  • 135: Do I like gossip?
  • 136: Do I keep a journal/diary?
  • 137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test?
  • 138: Do I believe in second chances?
  • 139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do?
  • 140: Do I believe people are capable of change?
  • 141: Have I ever been underweight?
  • 142: Am I ticklish?
  • 143: Have I ever been in a submarine?
  • 144: Have I ever been on a plane?
  • 145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family?
  • 146: Have I ever been overweight?
  • 147: Do I have any piercings?
  • 148: Which fictional character do I wish was real?
  • 149: Do I have any tattoos?
  • 150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far?
  • 151: Do I believe in Karma?
  • 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts?
  • 153: What was my first car?
  • 154: Do I want children?
  • 155: Who is the most intelligent person I know?
  • 156: My most embarrassing memory?
  • 157: What makes me nostalgic?
  • 158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter?
  • 159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty?
  • 160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?
  • 161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience?
  • 162: What do I hate most about myself?
  • 163: What do I love most about myself?
  • 164: Do I like adventure?
  • 165: Do I believe in fate?
  • 166: Favourite animal?
  • 167: Have I ever been on radio?
  • 168: Have I ever been on TV?
  • 169: How old am I?
  • 170: One of my favourite quotes?
  • 171: Do I hold grudges?
  • 172: Do I trust easily?
  • 173: Have I learnt from my mistakes?
  • 174: Best gift I’ve ever received?
  • 175: Do I dream?
  • 176: Have I ever had a night terror?
  • 177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind?
  • 178: An experience that has made me stronger?
  • 179: If I were immortal, what would I do?
  • 180: Do I like shopping?
  • 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do?
  • 182: What does “family” mean to me?
  • 183: What is my spirit animal?
  • 184: How do I want to be remembered?
  • 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose?
  • 186: What is my greatest failure?
  • 187: What is my greatest achievement?
  • 188: Love or money?
  • 189: Love or career?
  • 190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?
  • 191: What makes me the happiest?
  • 192: What is “home” to me?
  • 193: What motivates me?
  • 194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be?
  • 195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens?
  • 196: A movie that scared me as a child?
  • 197: Something I hated as a child that I like now?
  • 198: Zombies or vampires?
  • 199: Live in the city or suburbs?
  • 200: Dragons or wizards?
  • 201: A nightmare that has stayed with me?
  • 202: How do I define love?
  • 203: Do I judge a book by its cover?
  • 204: Have I ever had my heart broken?
  • 205: Do I like my handwriting?
  • 206: Sweet or savoury?
  • 207: Worst job I’ve had?
  • 208: Do I collect anything?
  • 209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without?
  • 210: What is on my bucket list?
  • 211: How do I handle anger?
  • 212: Was I named after anyone?
  • 213: Do I use sarcasm a lot?
  • 214: What TV character am I most like?
  • 215: What is the weirdest talent I have?
  • 216: Favourite fictional character?

anonymous asked:

I'm going through a real rough patch and if you want to write something cheerful you have no idea how grateful I'd be.

Flash sidled up to Superman on one of the Watchtower’s mezzanines, leaning against a rail. They looked at each other sidelong, then away.

“Wanna hear my new time?” Flash asked sideways, swaying as he alternated which foot held his weight, hands on his hips.

“There’s no way you beat my time,” Superman muttered, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were in the other direction, and both men went silent as the Lanterns walked too close. Superman and Flash gave them a nod of acknowledgment, then waited for them to be at a safe distance.

“Nine seconds.”

“What!” Superman dropped his arms, whipped his head around to where Flash was grinning and bouncing on his heels. “No way.”

Flat,” Flash said.

“There’s no way.”

“Check my heartbeat if you don’t believe me,” Flash said, tapping his insignia with his thumb. Then he frowned. “Actually, don’t, I’m pretty excited about this so my pulse is probably crazy.”

His heart always sounded like an angry hummingbird trapped between his lungs, but Barry was also a notoriously terrible liar, so it wasn’t as relevant as it could have been.

Dangit,” Superman said, crossing his arms again. He leaned back to scope out the area around them. No one seemed to be paying them much mind. “What time?”

“Eleven on a Saturday,” Flash said, looking even more smug. “You know I don’t mess around.”

“Tch!” Superman made an irritated sound, licking his canines. Then he snapped his fingers. “You forgot about–”

“Nnnope,” Flash interrupted. “I’m including the new ones in that, that’s the whole reason we had to reset our times, otherwise I’d still be at seven-point-four.”

Tch.” Superman drummed his fingers against his bicep. “Nine seconds,” he repeated, torn between irritation and awe.

“You know what that means,” Flash said, waggling his eyebrows.

Superman sighed. “Alright, where are we going?”

“I want soup.”

“Uh-huh.” Superman waited. Flash was waiting for him to ask. Superman was not going to give him the satisfaction.

“… in Saigon.”

“You’ve been watching Bourdain again,” Superman accused.

“It looked like really good soup!” Flash said, defensive.

“Fine,” Superman said, “but I am going to beat your time, and when I do–”

“Beat what, now?” Wonder Woman asked, having managed to approach them while they were distracted by negotiations.

“Nothing!” Flash and Superman said at once.

“We were just talking,” Superman said.

“About stuff,” Flash added unnecessarily. “Private, personal, man stuff.”

Wonder Woman’s eyebrows shot up. She was close enough for her lariat to hum on her hip. She looked Flash over. Flash started to turn red.

“Okay bye!” Flash said, and he was gone in a streak of red.

“Superman?” Wonder Woman asked.

“I should, uh. Hal…”

He wasn’t actually making any definitive statements, just stringing words together, and yet somehow it still managed to ring false. She watched him go, putting her hands on her hips.

She could practically sense it when Batman came up beside her, even quiet as he was.

“Do you want to know what they were talking about.”

“Do you know?” she wondered. He said nothing, so she turned to look at his face. It was as expressionless as ever, but she got the impression that he did not consider the question worthy of dignifying with a response.

He was Batman. He would never be so rude as to say ‘of course’ – but of course he knew.

“I wouldn’t want to invade his privacy,” Wonder Woman said cautiously.

“He’d tell you if you really asked,” Batman said. “They just like feeling like they have a special thing.”

“Oh.”

“Flash, especially.”

“I see.” She tapped on her lower lip as she watched Superman talk to one of the Green Lanterns. “So what’s the special thing?”

“Pick me up in the plane on Saturday and I can show you.”

She froze. Slowly, she turned to look at him. As always, being able to see him helped not at all. “Like a date?” she asked.

The corner of his mouth twitched. “More like a stakeout.”

“That could be like a date.” She was mostly saying it to tease him. Sometimes if she did it right, he turned pink and had to find a shadow to hide in.

“It’s usually not.”

“Why not?”

“I’m usually with the kids.”

“Oh!” Her eyes widened. “I didn’t mean–”

“It’s fine.”

She put her hand out to rest on his shoulder. “I would never imply–”

“I know.”

She took her hand back. “I’ll behave,” she assured him.

“You don’t have to,” he said, and she grinned.

“I’ll pick you up at ten,” she said, and she gave him an exaggerated wink as she walked away.

“It’s a date,” he murmured.


Why,” Wonder Woman asked, “are we in Florida?”

Batman was sitting beside her, and the plane was in a low hover. “Because as far as anyone can tell, this is the single biggest and busiest Walmart in the world.”

“I don’t think that explains as much as you think it does,” she said.

Batman held up a phone. A clock took up most of the screen. 10:59. “Watch,” he said, and he pointed out to the parking lot, vast and terrifying and teeming with people. She watched, and she had no idea how she was supposed to see anything in the crowd.

Finally, she spotted it. The motion too quick to be anything mortal. Would anyone on the ground notice anything more than a strong breeze?

“Oh! It’s the–” She snapped her fingers, couldn’t remember the word.

“Carts,” Batman supplied.

“Yes!”

In almost no time at all, every cart in the parking lot had been returned to one of the designated corrals. Batman pointed to something that he must have been using technology in his mask to see, because otherwise his eyes should not have been good enough. Wonder Woman was much better equipped to see Superman, standing beneath a tree and checking a stopwatch and scowling. He did some kind of motion with his arms and one leg that suggested he’d have thrown his hat to the ground, if he’d been wearing one.

“They introduced new carts,” Batman explained. “They don’t fit with the other ones, so it slows them down. Ruined their whole system.”

“They had a system?” she asked, giggling.

“No, here,” he said, tapping her arm to point again. “This is the best part. He’s frustrated.”

That’s the best part?”

“Watch what he does.”

She watched. Superman was gone again, more impossible-to-follow motion through the crowd. Things were moving. Large things.

“He’s fixing the cars!” she said, clapping her hands together.

“He’s fixing bad parking jobs,” Batman confirmed. “Because he’s mad.” There was a brief crooked curve to his mouth.

“He moved that one to a different space!”

“Illegally parked in a handicapped spot.”

“How fun.” Wonder Woman watched the people wandering through the lot, wondered how many of them had noticed what was happening and how many had disregarded it as nothing worth noticing. “Flash is the winner of this contest, then?”

“Consistently.”

“Is there a prize?”

“Clark buys him lunch. Usually somewhere he saw on a food show, since he can’t normally do that.”

“Why not?”

“Hm?”

“Barry can run anywhere, can’t he?” she asked. “I see no reason he couldn’t run to these places on his own.”

“He doesn’t like being alone in foreign countries,” Batman explained. “It makes him anxious.”

“Oh.” She returned her gaze to the parking lot. “How nice, then, that it all works out.” She frowned. “Is this weird?” she asked. “Spying on our friends like this.”

“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.”

“Do you do this often?” she wondered. “Watch people have fun without you?”

“Define 'often’.”

Wonder Woman held up a finger in warning. “Zatanna taught me a trick.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“She says that if you ask me to define the parameters, it means the answer is bad.”

Before he could respond, there was a thump.

Superman was standing on the nose of the invisible jet.

He tapped a knuckle on the glass, until Diana opened the hatch. “Hello!” she said cheerfully.

“What are you two doing here?” Clark asked.

“We’re on a date!” Diana said.

“We’re not on a date,” Batman said.

“If you’re not on a date, can you give me a ride?”

“You’re out of our way,” Batman said.

“Nah, just drop me off in Gotham,” Clark said, slipping inside the plane, awkwardly floating between the two front seats into the back.

“You don’t even need a ride,” Bruce said, having to fit himself as far as possible into the edge of his seat so that Clark would have room to get by. “You can fly.”

“Yeah, and you can walk, but I don’t see you giving up the Batmobile.” Clark made himself comfortable in the back seat as Diana closed up the plane. “I’m craving Dimitri’s.”

“You’re too sober for Dimitri’s,” Bruce said.

“I’m always sober. You’re lucky I can tell this wasn’t a real date, or I would be really creeped out by the whole spying on me thing.”

“Don’t tell Barry we know about your special thing,” Diana said, pulling the plane out of its hover to ascend. “I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“I won’t,” Clark assured her. “Hey, you know where we should go while we’re here?”

“No,” said Bruce.

“Where?” asked Diana.

“No,” said Bruce.

“Disney World!”

“No.”

Diana gasped.

“No.”

Clark put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “You can’t have come all the way to Florida just to see me,” he coaxed.

“I’m banned from Walmart, strongly discouraged from visiting Disney parks, and my parents are dead. I have no other reason to visit Florida.”

more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life.
[text] I should have never let you back into my life.
[text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that.
[text] Please don’t walk away.
[text] Please don’t do this.
[text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you?
[text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it.
[text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again.
[text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong.
[text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me.
[text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did
[text] The truth is I’m not over you.
[text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you.
[text] I’m seeing someone else.
[text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker?
[text] You’re so selfish.
[text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them].
[text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah.
[text] Be careful.
[text] I’m only saying it because I love you.
[text] I’m only saying it because I care about you.
[text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee.
[text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week?
[text] Let me take you out, please?
[text] Let me make you dinner tonight.
[text] I want you to be happy.
[text] You’re always safe with me.
[text] I can’t stop thinking about you.
[text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.
[text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that.
[text] It was so good seeing you.
[text] You don’t need this shit.
[text] I’ll be there in five minutes.
[text] Let me help, please?
[text] You’re important to me.
[text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that.
[text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day.
[text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love.
[text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now.
[text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut.
[text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!?
[text] Lose my number, asshole.
[text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so.
[text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf.
[text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend.
[text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is.
[text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it?
[text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole.
[text] Go fuck yourself.
[text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you?
[text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first.
[text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now
[text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
[text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair.
[text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor.
[text] Come over. With condoms.
[text] You should come over, clothing optional.
[text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT
[text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life
[text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous?
[text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended.
[text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
[text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis.
[text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology.
[text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
[text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
[text] I just need some of your time and all of your body.
[text] I am available for nakedness
[text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w
[drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH
[drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever
[drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known
[drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like
[drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss
[drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon
[drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight
[drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS
[drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no
[drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated
[drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol.
[drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin
[drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

as a non-native English speaker who’s fully fluent in both English and Spanish, i can tell you with the utmost honesty that regardless of how fluent i am in English when i’m excited it all tends to go over my head and even as a fluent speaker i find myself completely and utterly lost at times when my excitement is through the roof. don’t be nasty and rude about the people at harry’s show tonight.

most of them were probably screaming not because they didn’t respect him or what he was saying but because they probably understood very little or nothing at all of what he was saying because excitement tends to cloud a non-native’s speaker understanding very easily. this was made very clear when the crowd quieted down immediately after the traductor spoke.

so, bottom line is, don’t make assumptions about those fans because most weren’t screaming out of disrespect for harry or the topic of the manchester tragedy but because they weren’t fully aware of what was being said. please, take that into account before you say rude things about them

Your grandfather was a fisherman. Your father and aunts and uncles worked the waters and the docks in the coastal town you hail from. It’s not glamorous, and nobody in the family had made it into college before. You grew up in a tidy little house that always smelled a bit of fish with a huge extended family.

Nobody expected the scholarship letter when it arrived, praising your performance in the local high school swim team, and nobody had ever heard of the school. Your parents were thrilled, and so were most of the aunts and uncles. Your grandfather was suspicious, making vague noises that sounded like “tricks and bargains and that kind of business.” What he said out loud was: “Don’t ever leave the sea. It’ll break your heart, girl.”

You were excited and optimistic and exuberant, and you packed your competition suit and a bag of things from home and you went off to college, not listening.

————

Freshman year was odd. You knew you wouldn’t really fit in, given you were a scholarship kid from the back end of the east coast, but it was more than that. You were, of course, on the women’s swim team, but some of the other athletes were … you couldn’t put your finger on it. A couple of the girls seemed too tall, and they never quite got the green from the pool out of their hair. One of the boys was much stockier than the others, a bit like your dad, but he could swim as fast and powerfully as you. He wouldn’t ever speak to you. Some of them were hard to look at, and kept to themselves. Some of them were just ordinary, but they kind of steered clear of you too. It seemed the only thing holding the teams together were the coaches. There were practices, and competitions and your team always did amazingly, but never made it out of state.

Your classes were … classes. Like high school but more interesting. Your managed to keep a decent GPA to hold onto that scholarship, but some of it was a chore. Sandy the RA gave you a list of rules and warned you about some of the other students. There was some superstition about, but given your heritage, none of that seemed off. Fishermen are superstitious folks.

Your roommate was snooty and complained constantly that you still smelled of fish, especially after winter break. You finally told her to go suck a clam and she stopped speaking to you. That was fine with you. You weren’t much for socializing with people who didn’t know the ocean.

That one guy, though, the one who asked you out after the first week of Comp 102 in January. That one, he was great. He was some kind of surfer kid from California. Not a college athlete, but Surfer Boy skated everywhere, talked constantly about the beaches and waves. Somehow tan even in winter.

The third week you were dating, he got you that steel ring for “safety” and you thought it was sweet. It said “always yours” on the inside and got stuck on your finger.

And then - your swimming performance dropped off. They threatened to bench you. There was an uncomfortable conference with the coach and the dean. The rest of the team avoided you even more, and Surfer Boy got … weird. Possessive. Mean.

He thought it was fine that you weren’t competing for a while. He could have you all to himself outside of class time. Isn’t that great? Maybe you could come to California with him for Spring Break. You didn’t want to, though. You wanted to go back to the cold water of home.

Then, about a week after you got benched, out of the blue while you were studying together, he asked you where your skin was. You had no idea what he meant, WTF was this serial killer shit he was asking you? You suddenly remembered Sandy’s warnings, and took off without your books to ask her for help, maybe how to get a restraining order? And maybe to help get this ring off, too.

Sandy the RA (short for Cassandra? Because nobody ever listened to her, not because it was her name) halfway listened to you, nodded tiredly, grabbed a form from a file for submitting to the dean of students and campus security and had you fill it out. Then, as you were both reading the forms over for errors, she looked up sharply, said, “Wait. A ring? Let me see that.”

Sandy took one look at it, got out a saw, and before you could even react, cut it off your finger, in two pieces. One piece said “always” the other said “yours” and she shook her head. “I thought I told you to never accept gifts?”

“But he’s just human, Sandy. Normal, even. More normal than I am.”

“Yeah, nobody ever listens to me.”

Under where the ring had sat for two of the worst weeks of your life, was fur. Sleek, short, dark fur. You yelped.

Sandy blinked slowly, somehow looking completely unsurprised, and said, “That stocky guy on the men’s swim team? The one they call Lion? GO. Talk to him. Show him your hand, he’ll talk to you now. I think he can help.”

As you left, she said, with her back turned, “I don’t think your grandfather was completely honest with you. Have you ever seen any photos of your grandmother? Do you know where she was from?”

(X)

we may be hollow, but we’re brave

Summary: Even had insisted they spend the night before their wedding apart, because he’s dramatic as fuck, but he ends up calling Isak anyway. Isak doesn’t even try to hide how endeared he is.

Words: 1,248

Isak groans as he adjusts the pillow under his head for the thirtieth time that night. It’s the first time in weeks he’s had to fall asleep without Even, and it’s fucking with him bad. Once upon a time, he thought he’d outgrow this urgent need to have Even next to him, touching him, just being with him always. But after a year together, he feels the exact same desperate ache for Even as he had when they first met—when real love, the kind that comes naturally with Even, still felt like a fleeting fantasy. He’s more or less accepted that forever is in his grasp now, but being without him when Isak could so easily drive over to Even’s parents’ place and crawl into his bed, still feels like the worst kind of self-inflicted torture.

He’d whined to Jonas about it for a good two hours earlier, until Jonas had threatened to hand over best man duties to Magnus instead. Isak had been scared enough to shut the fuck up, but not he’d just pouted silently instead. “I can’t wait until Even marries you, this whole engagement has brought out the clingiest, sappiest parts of both of you,” Jonas had complained.

“Do you really think that it’ll get better after we get married?”

Jonas considered this for a moment, before burying his head in his hands. “Fuck, it’ll be even worse.”

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scarletnightwalker  asked:

Hello, I was wondering if you could help me. Lately I've come across the healthy/unhealthy personality types. Though I know, that I'm an ENTP, I would like to learn, how you can tell whether they are healthy or not. Would be great if you would explain this. Thanks in advance PS.: I'm not sure, if this is the right place to ask my questions, so correct me if the 'question' section isn't the right one.

It’s the right place. All the mods are pretty chill coz we’re awesome. :)

Unhealthy NTP: never finishes anything or focuses on the details (zero follow through), uses their Fe to manipulate people (you’re soft, and a pansy, and making you fall for my BS is so fun, maybe I can even get you to cry by pointing out how stupid your ideas are!) or intentionally hurt them rather than forge genuine connections or take into consideration people’s feelings.

Healthy NTP: knows which ideas are better than others, in order to focus on bringing them into fruition and either commits to them long-term by selecting a creative partner (Ne/Fe) or giving their ideas away to others who can nail down the details. Is logical but gentle in correcting others, mindful that people’s feelings matter and it’s important for others to genuinely like you in life, in order to get things done (and because it’s the nice thing to do). Realizes they’re prone to hyperbole, short term interests, and exaggeration, and learns to laugh about it, but also acknowledge it and work on fixing it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFP: never finishes anything or focuses on details (zero follow through), follows their heart without regard for the consequences, using that to justify hurtful behavior (I don’t care what you think, I fell out of love with you, so I can cheat on you all I want, I’ve done nothing wrong, this is who I am, just deal with it or get out), refuses to take blame for their part of the problem, may intentionally offend others, and doesn’t care about anyone but themselves.

Healthy NFP: knows which ideas are better than others and seeks to bring the best ones into the world through healthy engagement of goals, deadlines, and process of elimination (Te). Sets personal deadlines for self, and beats them, in order to stay motivated. Understands what drives them most, slows them down, or angers them, and commits to doing something about it. Learns such things as “tact,” when dealing with others, but also when and where to defy social norms and stand up for oneself (does that really matter? is it worth a fight?). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NTJ: becomes obnoxious in pushing their “vision” on others or asserting they know everything (including your motives) while devaluing your feelings or beliefs, often sneers at people who make emotional decisions, and sometimes passive-aggressively attacks people’s ego or intelligence that they do not like (okay, stupid, I’m just going to make you look like an idiot, while correcting every damn thing you say, all day long, until you run away and cry).

Healthy NTJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, is willing to listen to others’ ideas and offer practical thoughts on them, but is neither arrogant nor pushy about their knowledge, expertise, and logical detachment. Chooses when to correct others with care, and never does so to humiliate, only to educate. Respects others’ feelings even if they personally feel that the other person is making a mistake. Focuses on taking their ideas and goals and making them real. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy NFJ: total detachment from reality, while stubbornly clinging to the belief that their irrational interpretation is “the truth” (and the ONLY truth) (It DOES make sense, you’re just too stupid to understand it!), and resorting to a “you’re either with us or against us” mentality, which manifests in creating a single universal (sometimes abstract) enemy and trying to recruit others to join their cause against them / you (bad Ni and Fe).

Healthy NFJ: has a fair, balanced, and open-minded approach to life, accepts their interpretation may be unrealistic, but is committed to bringing their ideas and visualizations to life, often by recruiting others to a positive common cause. Uses their understanding of others’ motives to uplift rather than tear down, and becomes a source of compassionate and guiding “wisdom” for friends (I worry about you choosing this path, and here’s why…). Never recruits others in any negative ways against someone who disagrees with them. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, engaging in short-term behaviors that leave a wake of destruction behind (broken marriages, families, and violated responsibilities), often using Fe to manipulate people to get what they want (hey, I’m super hot and I’ve seen you ogling my backside, so I’m going to wear something that accentuates it so you’ll give me what I want in return one of these days; I don’t care how wrong it is) and then dumping them like hotcakes.

Healthy STP: knows life has much to offer and not only enjoys it but helps others loosen up and try new things, but commits to the people, beliefs, and jobs that are most important to them, for the long term. Understands and respects others’ feelings and seeks to connect to them through that, as well as develop their own ability to communicate. Learns the art of tact and when to use it (is it worth correcting this person or does it matter?). Tries to think about the long-term consequences of impulse, before engaging in it. Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFP: irresponsible, reckless, and hedonistic, going through jobs and romantic relationships like wildfire, abandoning people every time they get “bored” or feel unattached; justifies this behavior with selfish reasoning (I just don’t love you anymore, so I don’t have to treat you with respect); unable to be counted upon by other people, since they never show up or follow through; refuses to take responsibility through their actions and doesn’t mind offending others for no reason at all.

Healthy SFP: is good at self-entertaining and eager to try new things, and infects others with a similar excitement; is good at pushing people out of their comfort zones and encouraging them to aim high for their dreams. Has a strong sense of personal beliefs, and is willing to commit to other people, and prioritize them in relationships. Knows when it’s appropriate to defy social convention, and when it’s better to dial back the “but this is just who I am!” and chill. Sets personal goals, deadlines, and achievements, and sticks with things, so they have something tangible to show for their time (Te). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy STJ: refuses to adapt or change even when their world implodes; may try and “force” or “strong-arm” others into their point of view. Has little interest or respect for people’s feelings and doesn’t mind crushing them on their way to success, but may also play the role of a martyr in the process (since NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE AROUND HERE, I HAVE TO DO IT). May become irrational or paranoid with lower Ne, and turn into a pessimist.

Healthy STJ: uses their extensive past experience to figure out what will and won’t work when dealing with life and problems, but is also open to new ideas, trying out new things, and experiencing what “lies beneath the surface” (Ne). Tries not to shut down ideas until they have considered them. Is practical, efficient, and logical, but also respects people’s feelings and doesn’t intentionally try to hurt, shame, or control them. Becomes able to share what they need emotionally with others, rather than playing a martyr (I would like it if you would take the trash out; since I’m doing this other thing, it seems fair, and it would make me happy). Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes.

Unhealthy SFJ: refuses to change or adapt, while clinging stubbornly to their idea of “how things were,” while struggling to control their emotions; may resort to being “fake” in order to manipulate others, to “us vs them” thinking and overt moralizing (if you don’t agree with us, you’d better change your mind or face the consequences, because we can’t let you hold such a wrong point of view and will punish you for it).

Healthy SFJ: uses the past to form impressions about people and situations, but changes those perceptions based on new experience; is open to new ideas and beliefs, and willing to look beneath the surface (Ne), with the aim of making those things “useful and tangible” in the real world (how can this idea apply to life and improve our situation?). Learns the art of “polite affirming correction,” which helps others become better, while not shaming, humiliating, or insulting them for their behavior. Aware not everyone needs to agree, and comfortable with those who don’t; never recruits anyone against anyone else, or adopts a mentality of “let’s get that person, together.” Takes personal responsibility for their mistakes. 

- ENFP Mod

STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.

FOR AMIGOS;

  • “How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
  • “You were right. As per usual.”
  • “Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
  • “You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
  • “Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”
  • “You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
  • “Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
  • “I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
  • “Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
  • “I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
  • “Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”
  • “No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”
  • “You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
  • “How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
  • “I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
  • “Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”
  • “When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
  • “I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”
  • “It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”
  • “Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”
  • “That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”
  • “Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
  • “Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
  • “When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
  • “We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”
  • “How much money do you have on you?”
  • “Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
  • “Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
  • “For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

FOR LOVERS;

  • “I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
  • “I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
  • “I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”
  • “If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
  • “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
  • “I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
  • “I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
  • “Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
  • “Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
  • “I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
  • “Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
  • “If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
  • “Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
  • “Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
  • “We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
  • “So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
  • “My dog licks better than you do.”
  • “But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
  • “I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
  • “And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
  • “I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
  • “This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
  • “I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
  • “Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
  • “A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
  • “Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
  • “Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
  • “Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
  • “I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
  • “I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
  • “I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

FOR TEXTERS;

  • [text] This is upsetting my poop.
  • [text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
  • [text] So it involves feces and large birds.
  • [text] She said that to you? Why?
  • [text] Please come back. I miss you.
  • [text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
  • [text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
  • [text] …did you just send me a nude?
  • [text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.
  • [text] I don’t know why I said that.
  • [text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
  • [text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
  • [text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
  • [text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
  • [text] Please. I need this so badly.
  • [text] I trust you completely.
  • [text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
  • [text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
  • [text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.
  • [text] I will not get you donuts.
  • [text] Please? I love you.
  • [text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
  • [text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
  • [text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.
  • [text] You’re cute.
  • [text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
  • [text] Fuck off.
  • [text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.

So I’ve been thinking about the idea of Blue mirroring Lance in terms of hidden insecurity, and while I cannot for the life of me remember where I saw it, I saw someone on tumblr post “everyone thinks of Blue as the low standards Lion” in reference to her bio painting her as the most accepting.

And I think about that, and… what that means.

Because Blue just as much as all of the other Lions is shown to hold out for her designated paladin. She doesn’t grab Keith any of the numerous times he was there and she could’ve gone home immediately. And considering Blue is Lance’s Lion- that wasn’t a small temptation. If she’s specifically good at working with people who aren’t ideal paladin matches, if she can get along with just about anyone- every time Keith went to that cave Blue would have that temptation.

Keep reading

whoops, my hand slipped and here is a much more fic-like set of bullet points that i don’t have to heart to actually turn into a fic. part of a trilogy it seems. parts one, two, THREE (this one!), four, five.

  • something to know about michelle: she’s very good at keeping secrets
  • once, when she was eight years old, her older brother broke the brand new watch his parents had gotten him for christmas. he begged her not to tell anyone, most especially their parents or her four year old sister who would undoubtedly tattle to their parents. she never spoke a word of it to anyone and helped him fix it as best they could so that her parents never found out.
  • then, when she was eleven, she had the biggest crush on this one girl in her class, layla. and one day, one of her best friends alex told her that he had a crush on layla. so she never spoke a word of her crush, nor of alex’s, to anyone. that is, until one day alex and layla walked around the playground at lunch time holding hands and told everyone they were now dating.
  • and then after she moved to new york, spent the year trying to find a place for herself, and then finally found and joined academic decathlon, she met peter parker and liz allan. and she knew immediately that peter parker liked liz. he always stared at her during practice and smiled at her whenever she glanced at him. she heard him talking about her at lunch. everyone knew that peter had a crush on liz. but one day after practice, she was in the bathroom stall when liz and her friend betty walked into the restoom, chatting.
  • “oh my goodness I can’t believe you have a crush on that freshman.” betty scoffed. “really liz, like half the junior class is in love with you and you’ve got heart eyes for the scrawny kid from, what is it, queens?”
  • “he’s really sweet!” liz laughed. “I think he’s really cute. he’s always nice to me. can’t I like someone who also likes me? is that really a crime?”
  • “of course not.” betty sighed. “I’m just saying. he’s a freshman, you’re a junior. in two years, you’ll be going to college and he will still be here. do you really want that?”
  • “I don’t know.” liz replied, pausing for a while before michelle heard the sink start to run water. “peter is really sweet and smart. i’d like to see what could happen.”
  • “fine, fine.” betty laughs. “but don’t wait for that boy to ask you out because he seems shocked every time you even look his way.” they both laugh and with that, walk out of the bathroom.
  • michelle never spoke of that incident to anyone either. so, she’s good at keeping quiet when she needs to be. which is why she never tells peter that she knows. knows that he spends his time stopping bank robberies, muggings, and helping old ladies cross the street. knows that he saved her friends in washington dc. knows that he’s the reason liz’s dad went to prison and she had to move to oregon. she doesn’t tell anyone this. not even peter.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Kid Harpoon anon, again. Yep, you nailed it. All your points are sound. Especially the one about Harry's repeated comments of how personal this album is. He's been steady on that, right up to Quotidien last week, that this album was not about a woman, but rather about his experiences. I'm not paraphrasing that right. Anyway, thank you, that was exactly what I was seeing out.

So far I see the same themes in Harry’s songs, but different approaches:

SOTT – a plea

ESNY – a rumination

SC – an ode

They’re absolutely about Harry  – they’re his perspective on things, his side of the conversation, what matters to him, what he’s lived through. But he’s talking to a specific person; he’s not talking to us. The “you” is singular. He’s sharing it with us, giving us a glimpse into what makes him who he is, but he’s not addressing us. It’s so very, very personal and yet it is so public. It’s more than a love letter, it’s him trying to explain his love, to live his love openly, to tell us who he is and what has made him the man he is today. I am so excited to hear the rest. And I’m anxiously awaiting the other side of the conversation.

Things to be happy about today

-Somewhere in the world, it has just gotten warm enough to have a pleasant afternoon walk. A girl calls for her dog and grabs the leash. Little puppy nails scramble against the tile, and the dog almost careens into the table, barely able to control the inertia of his own excitement.

-Somewhere in the world, a young man nudges his wife. “It’s time to wake up,” he murmurs. She mumbles something that may or may not be words and pulls the covers over her head. The boy can’t help the smile that softly spreads across his face. He nestles back into the covers and wraps his arm around her, deciding that, perhaps just this one time, they can spare a few more minutes in bed. The girl peeks out from her blanket cocoon, and the boy takes the chance to swoop in for a kiss on her nose. She squeaks and bats him away. “Don’t do that!” But she’s laughing. They both are. The boy takes a moment to wonder how he got so lucky. He loves her so, so much.

-Somewhere in the world, a person idly doodles in their notebook during class. When they examine their handiwork, they realize that the drawing is actually pretty good. They wear a small, goofy smile for the rest of the day.

-Somewhere in the world, an old woman slowly slips on her gardening gloves and hobbles outside to check on her plants. As she bends to grab the watering can, she sees that one of her tulips has bloomed, a brilliant red nestled in a sea of green. She claps her hands, once, and calls inside for her grandson to come look. 

-Somewhere in the world, two shy people are in love. They sit by a bonfire, watching the crackling of the flames and thinking about how they are going to tell their families. One of them tenses and relaxes their hand a few times, wondering what their mother will think, what their friends will think, what they will do if no one approves. Their anxiety builds until they feel a soft hand catch theirs. They look up, into the warm, inviting eyes of the person they adore, and their shoulders relax. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. They will make it through together, and it will be worth it. It will all be okay.

-Somewhere in the world, a young immigrant holds a letter from her dream college in her hands. Her whole body shakes as she runs her nail along the envelope, tearing it open. Her parents hover over her shoulder, filled with a mix of anxiety and excitement. They don’t understand much English, but they recognize the word that appears at the top of the page when it is unfolded: congratulations! Everyone starts cheering at once. This is the first time the girl has ever seen her father cry. They all throw themselves in a messy group hug, bouncing up and down in a rhythm that is not synced, but somehow still seems like a perfect harmony.

-Somewhere in the world, you woke up. It may be the easiest thing you had to do today, or the hardest thing you have to do every day. Either way, your eyes fluttered open and you took a deep breath, letting the sensation of consciousness wash over you. It may be a nice feeling. It may be a burden. But you have done it. You have risen to the challenge of a new day. You may accomplish one of your life’s dreams today. You may only accomplish the act of allowing your heart to beat. Both of these things are worth celebrating. 

-Somewhere in the world, a young woman with a very tiny ponytail types at a keyboard. She is tired, barely able to keep her eyes open, but she is grateful to be alive for another day. She knows that her words may reach no one, but that there’s a chance someone’s heart may be a little lighter if she sends her thoughts out into the world, and it’s a chance she’s willing to take. She settles on the last thing she wants to say before closing her laptop and dozing off for an afternoon nap:

The mistakes you made yesterday don’t matter anymore. Today is the perfect day to try again.

anonymous asked:

I'm just. Well. Dan and Phil huh. I'm like

WHAT THR FUCK HONESTLU!!!!! today’s the day i’m litro moving out and i watched this on my phone m in between bouts of vacuuming and sneezing from an allergy attack and i am crying????!! IN MY EMPTY CLOSET??!!!!!!! i can’t believe so many things including

1. how good and soft they looked i felt a bit awestruck

2. the fact that we saw dan in phils new “”“"bedroom”“”“

3. phil dragging dan a little for the rebrand and calling him daniel

4. the way they talked about what last year and this year meant for dan omg all that stuff about triumph and success and hard work paying off and this yr being the end of a phase or an era and the start of a new one and a time to explore new opportunities and let his real personality shine thru a bit more and also how phil kept hitting dan in excitement while he read those bits before dan himself even rly said anything bc phil knows what dans years have meant to him just as much as dan does and to see them just like make wide eyes at each other as they mutually recognize how spot on these assessments were wowowoowowowow im ded???

5. them sort of openly mocking the notion of “masculine energy”

6. obviiiiiii THAT WHOLE BANANA BIT like WHAT THE FUCK,?? HALF THIS CIDEO WAS JST PHIL FUCKING W DAN AND THEY JST KEPT SO MUCH OF IT IN and Holy Shit man that was some of the cutest shit i’ve ever seen i mean phil was full face giggling so hard and dan reacted so hilariously and he was tryna seem OUTRAGED AS HE SLAPPED PHIL W A BANANA BUT HIS FACE WAS ALL SCRUNCHED N SMILEY TOO AND HE THINKS PHIL IS SO FUCKING FUNNY ITS PAINFUL and then the way he just sort of manhandled him and pulled him back to stick the banana down his shirt as recompense i mean srsly what kind of gross absurdly flirtatious bullshit i smiled so much my face hurt

7. oh and OF COURSE how could i even FORGET phil referencing ppl interested in seeing him and dan have sex and just giggling about it nothing awk or uncomfortable jst straight up acknowledging that ppl want that but never making it seem like the concept of doing dan is outlandish and all of this on his main fucking channel i am IN UTTER SHOCK AND DISBELIEF. WOW.

they’re just. in such a good place right now. it’s remarkable on every level and i’m fucking overwhelmed and enthralled and sosososo painfully happy for them fuckkkfjfjfjrj

#LastYoungRenegade - out July 2nd, 2017

Who is the Last Young Renegade?

After all this time writing music, playing in a band- checking moment after moment off the bucket list- collecting mistakes, making memories, I wondered what it might be like to write about myself if I wasn’t the one standing in my shoes. Who am I from the other side of the mirror?

I tried to change perspective in my approach to writing and center in on all of the different versions of me that other people might have met over the years, through the ups and the downs, in the public eye and behind closed doors. Would I like this person? Do I like this person? Do I even recognize this person anymore?

I realized that there’s a lot more to me than I’m usually ready to acknowledge, both good and bad. In that realization, I noticed a common thread. We are who we are, even when we try our hardest not to be.

It’s a challenge to accept it sometimes. I gave those other sides of me a persona, and a name– then came the stories like a flood. It was a way for me to confront demons without having to sit at the dinner table with them.

That’s the journey on this record: a story of self-realization. Of growing into your own skin through the eyes of someone watching it all unfold on the big screen, wearing a ‘Frankie Says Relax’ t-shirt. Like watching an old familiar movie, but suddenly you’re Marty McFly.

We tried a lot of new things on this album, all within the context of what we love so much about All Time Low– There’s no denying that we were binge watching Stranger Things at the time, while also reflecting on the loss of some of our favorite musicians; Prince, Bowie, George Michael… I think the influence comes through in the best ways. We all felt pulled to exciting and different places as we searched for inspiration, approaching something that’s become so familiar to us from a new direction.

I truly hope everyone listening enjoys this record as much as I do. It’s been an amazing journey.The album comes out June 2nd and will be available for pre-order on Friday, Feb 24th. We’ll also be posting some pre-order merch bundles, so stay tuned! Pre-order options will be up on alltimelow.com.

Tracklist
1.
Last Young Renegade
2. Drugs & Candy
3. Dirty Laundry
4. Good Times
5. Nice2KnoU
6. Life of the Party
7. Nightmares
8. Dark Side of Your Room
9. Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)
10. AfterglowxoAlex

anonymous asked:

(1/2) i love lance more than anything but i'm also in love with the percy jackson series and recently i was thinking; unclaimed!lance, stuffed into the hermes cabin, and all alone even with everyone around him. because his friends are out there, having a jolly good time being claimed (Hunk is Hephaestus, Pidge is Demeter, Keith is Ares, Shiro is Ares.) and he's stuffed with Hermes. And he's so sad over it, yknow? because he doesnt know what he is, who he is, and he feels so left out

(2/2) because he sticks out like a sore thumb in the hermes cabin, he’s not all cunning and thieving like they naturally are (hermes is the god of thieves) and it kind of just kills him bc he’s always had a big & close family and all of a sudden he was torn away from them and hauled into this camp and then he finds out he doesnt even know whose kid he is?! (i like to imagine him being claimed as a son of poseidon and finally, finally feeling at peace bc he knows who he is now)

I am weak for Percy Jackson, how did you know Okay so, lets say this is in canon verse for the Percy Jackson series- they had the war and they won and shit- and imagine, Lance, who doesn’t know who he is, who is kinda good at sword fighting but much better at long range archery, who gets a long very well with Will Solace and the Apollo cabin, move into a cabin that is almost always empty. 

Yeah, he’s excited to be Percy Jackson’s sibling and all, but holy fuck, is it lonely in the cabin. Percy is at collage now, and Tyson is in Rome with Ella, and the cabin is so lonely and silent and it honestly bothers him. That is until Percy and Tyson find out they have a younger sibling. (In canon, Percy is like 18-19, and in this AU pretty boy, Lance, is like 16, and Tyson is a cyclops their age scales work differently.) And they’re like rushing to camp to meet them. All of the seven do. And of course he hung out with Nico, cause you know, friends with Will Solace, so hes already cool with him, but now he’s friends with all the demigods that are like… cool as shit and strong as shit. And he hangs out with Jason Grace- little known fact about Lance, he has a crush on one Jason Grace, much to Keith’s annoyance. 

So he starts hanging out with the seven plus everyone else, and his friends are like, “What” because now Lance is really cool, and being recognized for being really cool, and he has all these new friends, and Hunk doesn’t want to be replaced. Cue a big emotional scene were they talk it out and Hunk is introduced to everyone and Leo is like, “Oh yeah that’s my brother, hes a nerd.” And Pidge takes a little longer too come around to Lance but when she does. Oh boy. Pidge hugs and cuddles Lance to death and won’t let him go because she doesn’t want Lance to forget her like her family had too in the awe of his new friends. Next is actually Shiro, and his is a little less emotional, and they just talk it out about how he wants too be Lance’s friend, always. So… Keith.

Keith, golden boy of the ares cabin, can not deal with the thought of Lance abandoning him for his new friends especially Jason mother fucking Grace. And all of his siblings are like, oh just confess to him you wimp, except Clarisse because she gets hot hard it is to love someone who is in love with another person Selina  so she doesn’t tell him anything, instead, she tells him he should talk too Nico about it- Because lets face it, Nico is great and probably waited around doing that mutual pinning thing for will for like two weeks until they got together (This disregards canon because canon is dumb when it comes to how they got together) and he knows. So Keith goes to Nico, they talk, and Keith tries to confess to Lance. Except he accidentally challenges Jason too a duel instead. And holy chicken fry, Lance ain’t prepared. Like to see his major crush, challenge his minor crush, and have his minor crush accept? (Piper’s laughing her ass off and taking bets.) He is shook. Especially when Keith tells him in the Poseidon cabin that hes fighting for Lance.  So the day of the fight he walks over to Lance and tells him to keep his eyes on him, and Lance does. Keith wins- to everyone’s surprise and since no one won in the betting pool Piper keeps all the winnings and he just, kisses Lance. And Lance kisses back. So now Lance has family, friends, and a boyfriend- BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Because Sally is the best mom ever to exist, she invites Lance over, and just smothers him in affection, because his own mom is in Cuba. He cries, she makes cookies, Paul is happy to have another person that they consider a son, and Sally is going to give birth soon, its going to be great. 

evakerlitvet  asked:

Hi Jo!So I'm super excited for the next ep, I'm hoping that it'll fix all of the mistakes that were made in 2x07. until that, let me sneak in a random question into your ask box: do you think malec call each other nicknames/pet names?

Hi Nitsa! Same here, I’m excited and I hope my internet here is strong enough to sustain my livestream~

I mean, we all know Magnus uses pet names with like, everybody. Biscuit here, darling there, sweetheart over at the back. So Alec isn’t surprised when he’s fumbling around the kitchen and Magnus shows up, one hand combing through bed hair and another muffling a yawn and mumbles out “what’s cooking, pumpkin?” As much as Alec thinks that’s endearing, he hates that he has to suppress the idea that he has used the nickname on one too many lovers. So the next time they’re kissing in bed; hands under each other’s shirts, long legs tangled in an organised mess and Alec slides his fingers along Magnus’ ribcage just right, tearing a breathless “Alexander” out of him, Alec steels himself. 

“I love it when you call me that,” Alec pauses, a few seconds longer, betraying the casual tone of his voice. And Magnus is astute, even when he’s seconds away from dragging Alec down towards him because his lips are not where they should be, and he drags out, voice thick as honey, “Of course, my Alexander”, with a steady gaze. And Alec knows that Magnus gets it, and he finally seals Magnus’ lips with his.

-

Alec’s awkward with nicknames. Now that he’s thinking about it, he realises that the only one whom he calls with a nickname is Izzy and doesn’t everyone call her that? Well, except Magnus; and now that he’s thinking of him, he’s troubled over whether Magnus would like to have that: a pet name. Darling? Too common, Magnus practically calls everybody that. Baby? No way, he’d rather die than have to call someone that. Mags? Alec makes a face. 

“What’s with that face? Wait, don’t tell me Izzy made this,” Jace glares at the spoonful of stew he was about to put into his mouth and his eyes dart between Alec and the pot in between them. Alec’s confused for a moment but he shakes his head and puts his spoon down, to which Jace sighs in relief and shoves the spoon into his mouth. 

“Jace, what did you call your…girlfriends? I mean, did you call each other using pet names? Does it come naturally? Like, how do you suddenly go from calling someone by name to calling them by something else? What’s that something else? How-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Slow it down, bud. Are you talking about things like babe, princess or things like that?” Alec nods solemnly at the question and Jace’s confusion suddenly turns to smugness. He was about to make a jab at that but Alec shook his head and Jace dropped it out of kindness from seeing his parabatai so troubled. He merely shrugs and offers, “Don’t think too much about it; it’s gonna come out forced if you overthink it, and yes, I can totally see you overthinking right now so don’t even deny it, I know you Alec,” Alec huffs but he takes the advice to heart and tries not to wince when he has to get his boyfriend’s attention and has to settle for “Magnus”. 

And when it finally happens, he just has to mess it up, or so he thinks, when he picks up a phone call mid-mission and in his distraction, he answers with, “Hi love, what’s up,” after which there’s a silence that’s a beat too long and Alec realises that he’s fucked up because he hasn’t even said the three words and this order is totally wrong and oh god, Magnus doesn’t feel the same yet, does he? He’s this close to flinging his phone to the furthest end of the world when Magnus clears his throat and replies, voice a little unsteady, “Well, Alexander, I love you too, if that’s what you were trying to say,” and Alec is amazed by how Magnus always knows and never in his life had he wanted to be a warlock so badly just so he could portal to right where Magnus was and kiss the stars out of him.

klance wedding headcanons

alright so a bunch of you asked for some klance wedding headcanons in response to the shallura wedding post and ho boy i am here to deliver 

(shoutout to @leg-defender again for idea bouncing with me!)

  • first off, the wedding is Big. because Lance’s family is HUGE and they gotta be involved in e v e r y t h i n g. they’re basically orchestrating the whole shebang along with the rest of the voltron crew. 
    • Lance’s family does a shitton of research on Korean weddings because they want to include traditions from Keith’s culture as well as Lance’s. 
      • An entire twenty-four hour day is spent with the whole team on computers, at libraries, calling old Korean friends and sending Shiro out to be the honorary diplomat. by the end of the day they could probably run their own program on the history channel.
  • Hunk, Lance’s mother, grandmother, and anyone else with even a fingernail of cooking talent are all on the Food Squad together because let’s be honest there is a lot of food to be made. 
    • nobody knows what kind of food Keith likes and they can’t ask Lance because it’s supposed to be a surprise so they have to send Pidge out for reconnaissance
      • Pidge has no idea how to navigate the situation and ends up trying to ask Keith what his favorite restaurant is in hopes of getting somewhere
      • his favorite restaurant is the Pizza Hut down the street
      • Pidge gives up and just tells everyone he likes traditional Korean food (which he does)
  • The “Bachelor Party” is just the whole original voltron crew having a fun night out of the town
    • they go to an arcade
    • Keith beats Lance in just about every game they play
    • minus the first person shooters and dance dance revolution
    • nobody beats Lance at dance dance revolution
    • nobody.
  • Hunk is pretty much Lance’s Maid of Honor, Shiro is Keith’s
    • Almost every single one of Lance’s siblings is a Bridesmaid/Groomsman
    • Keith doesn’t really have a lot of people to be his Groomsmen so Lance’s siblings take the position for his side too
    • They literally fight over who gets to be a Groomsman for Keith they all want to do it so bad
      • it makes Keith cry bc he never thought he’d be part of a big family like this and it just makes him Really Fucking Happy
  • Keith is kind of a fashion disaster and doesn’t know how to pick out what to wear so Lance’s five sisters immediately adopt him.
    • they spend the whole day shopping together
    • Lance has never seen someone get along with all of his sisters so well in his entire life
      • it’s actually a little freaky how well
      • Lance is Afraid
  • For the wedding Keith has his nails painted blue and Lance has his painted red
    • Lance’s little cousins do it for them so it’s kind of sloppy but it’s insanely fucking cute
  • Allura and Lance’s mom are the Decorating Dream Team
    • the whole venue looks like it just came off of a goddamn pintest board 
    • in the best way possible
    • Allura has added some more questionable decorations but what can you do
    • “Are those… goldfish bowls?” “Yes.” “Ok.”
  • Coran along with Lance’s like 98 year old great-grandmother are the ones who marry them
    • yes both of them
    • they both demanded to have the position so they had to share it
    • at first they didn’t get along so well but now they are best buddies for some odd reason
    • no one knows why they get along but they do so nobody’s complaining 
  • Lance starts bawling like three words into his vows
    • he can’t help it Ok it’s a Very Emotional Moment
    • the whole thing is rly sweet though because Keith just smiles Super Fucking Wide and wipes away his tears. Everyone’s heart in a 300 mile radius melts. If you weren’t crying before you sure as hell are now.
  • They kiss for Way Too Long during the ceremony. Pidge has to not-so-subtly kick Lance in the ankle and remind them not to suffocate eachother.
    • Lance is so getting Pidge later for that.
    • he never actually gets Pidge later for that.
  • The reception is really just One Huge Fun Dance Party 
    • basically everyone is drunk but in the best way possible
    • there is karaoke 
      • Lance forces Keith to come on stage with him and sing
      • except Lance chooses a song in Spanish and Keith has n o i d e a what he’s doing
      • the only part of the song Keith gets is this really slow line when he looks Lance right in the eyes and says “Besame, te amo”
      • it’s a one-hit-KO 
      • Lance is #gone
      • he forgets how to speak spanish altogether and just starts sputtering random words that translate to things like “my entire bathtub is green” and the spanish rendition of the happy birthday song
  • They all unanimously decide to eat the cake before dinner.
    • They wish they had an excuse for breaking out the cake before dinner but they don’t. The just really want to see the cake Hunk has been bragging about making for weeks.
    • the cake is so beautiful Lance starts crying again
    • honestly nobody can really blame him is is one hell of a cake
  • Shiro’s toast speech is like 10 minutes of roasting Keith and Lance for all the dumb shit they’ve done over the years
    • “I remember when you two had a contest to see who could eat more cheese logs–”
    • “Or the time when you both hung upside down so long you passed out and we had to take you to the ER—”
    • “And there was The Poison Ivy Incident last March–”
    • “Oh don’t even get me started on the Slip ‘N Slide race—”
      • “Shiro… Please…. Let Us Live………”
  • alas 20 minutes into the actual dinner a Huge food fight breaks out
    • It. Is. Chaos.
    • Everybody participates. Nobody is spared. 
    • Food is e v e r y w h e r e but honestly who cares they’re having a blast.
    • There is a running debate to this day over how it started
      • “Keith started it! With the potatoes!”
      • “I did not, it was all Lance and his stupid carrots!”
      • “Allura is the one who launched the peas,”
      • “Excuse me?! Shiro dumped the fruit punch”
      • “Only after Hunk threw the rice cakes!”
      • “Oh no don’t you drag me in to this–”
  • In conclusion, it’s absolute Chaos but it’s the most fun, exciting, Lance-and-Keith-like wedding anybody’s been to in like a million years and nobody leaves without a smile on their face and one hell of a story to tell.

anonymous asked:

hello gin!!! your newest update for 'price of a soul' is amazing! can i ask you to talk about all this symbolism in the comic (and also why do you love to hurt us so much with it)

THIS QUESTION MAKES ME SO HAPPY  I’M SCREAMING THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST ANON (actually thank you everyone for your kind asks about TPOAS… THEY ARE THE FIRE IN MY VEINS THANK YOU)

I think the most important thing I wanted to work on this comic is how it is told from Tamashi’s eyes. That’s how I decided to build the characters through the story, for example, what Tamashi sees most is Allen’s face, honest, straightforward, kind, sweet, smiling, always open and welcoming: 

Whereas he doesn’t see Kanda’s face, Kanda is always turned to him. And when he does, it’s from an low angle:

I had fun thinking it would be important that we, as Tamashi, know of Kanda what he does: Kanda is the father he doesn’t know anything of. Intimidating, scary, tall, unreachable, always with his back turned on him. (With his back turned to him, but I guess you wouldn’t offer your back to an enemy). I aim to, gradually, expose Kanda’s features as Tamashi grows confident, making him look more human and less of a jerk than what he does now (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Also have you noticed how everyone bends forward to talk to Tamashi? Or squats down to be at his level? So Tamashi can stare directly at them. It’s a very simple gesture but it’s one that says I’m reducing my world to your perspective because you are as important, which Kanda never does.

The first time I read DGM i had to go through the Alma arc three times to made sure I fully understood Kanda (I keep thinking there are hints of his personality I keep missing, as I do with Allen… DGM is such an amazing artwork) so when I thought of him for this story I wanted to be very careful building the conceptualism around a character that has never forgiven himself and doesn’t want redemption. Can you imagine, you spend your life trying to fulfill a promise of love and then you find out -because you slipped once, only once, you are as human as the rest even if it might not seem so-, that you have a kid you never intended on having, even less with someone you’ll never love maybe not even remember, who kinda looks like Alma when they were kids, who is called Tamashi, who, surprise, is there to bite him in his ass. Tamashi is the perspective of a future Kanda never allowed himself to have and now he’s forced to deal with it (ノ≧∀≦)ノ Good thing Allen is here to be the bridge between present Kanda and past Kanda, Allen you angel  (//▽//)ゞ So, basically, what we see of Kanda is an unforgiving Kanda, intimidating, pretending to not mind when he so clearly does (in the last update with Tamashi sleeping outside of Kanda’s room he spends there looking at the boy how long? Five minutes? Ten? He didn’t awoke Tamashi either, just lets him be. He’s trying to make his way out of this without a fuss but OH YOU WON’T BE SO LUCKY KANDA The denial Is Strong). 

Oh! Also I was very careful with colors and including some… … … … little details (୨୧ ❛ᴗ❛)✧ 

Both panels with the flowers are very important…! they are different types of flowers in different palettes… Allen’s one are somewhat fresh and rainy, so springy, whereas Kanda’s seem to be floating on an abandoned place… Pretty, but isolated (•̀௰•́ ) This is funny because oH WELL SPOILER I GUESS / CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW AND FLIES INTO THE SUN

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK REALLY!! 

there's a new app or something
  • Girl: Did you get the new app?
  • Boy: What app?
  • Girl: The new app, stupid.
  • Boy: What does it do?
  • Girl: It's new! Check it out. *fires up app*
  • New App: *in a fresh and cool voice* Welcome to the new app.
  • Boy: I still don't understand what it does.
  • Girl: You can press this button here and it checks for the latest version of the new app. Watch. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. There are ZERO new updates.
  • Girl: Isn't it cool?
  • Boy: I'm really not into it.
  • Girl: C'mon. You have to be. Everyone's using it.
  • Boy: I'm not really into the same things everyone else is.
  • Girl: You're always such a hispter, but that's your choice.
  • Boy: Yeah, it's my choice and I'm proud of it.
  • *later, elsewhere*
  • Group of People: Wow, the new app rules, right? I love it. I like booping it to see if there's any new updates. We should all boop it now. No, I think we should wait. You're stupid. Yeah, let's all boop it forget the other guy. *boopboopboopboopboopboop*
  • New App: Bbbooooppppp rreeecciiieeeevvvveeedddd. Ooonneeeeee nnnnnneewwww uuuuppppdddaaaattttteeeeeee aaaaavvvvvvvaaaillllllabbbbbl-
  • Boy: *watching from afar* What a bunch of sheep. How can they get excited over a stupid app that does nothing. It's mob mentality if I've ever seen it. One person downloads a useless app, so everyone else has to. Thank god that I'm appless and entirely free from banal social dogma.
  • New App: New update has finished downloading. Activating new feature, outcast locater. One outcast located directly to the south of your group. He's watching from the alleyway.
  • Boy: Huh?
  • Group of People: *rush over the alleyway* Whoa, there really was a guy watching us from the alleyway! What a weirdo! Does he really not have the app? No one doesn't have the app, it's the newest app. Hey, do you not have the app?
  • Boy: I have to go.
  • Group of People: Don't go! Why don't you have the app? Actually, fuck off if you don't have the new app, freak!
  • Boy: *runs away* Why did they all gang up on me like? *stomach growls* Now I'm hungry after running like that. I best go to that sandwich shop over yonder and eat a... hmmm sandwich.
  • Cashier: Hello, sweetie. What kind of sandwich can I get you today?
  • Boy: Just a bread sandwich. Like, a sandwich with three slices of bread and meats, vegetables, cheeses, or condiments.
  • Cashier: *phone vibrates* Hold on, sweetie. The new app is booping me, there might be a new update.
  • New App: Hey, do you see the kid standing in front of you?
  • Cashier: You mean that very cute boy?
  • New App: Yes, him. He doesn't have the new app.
  • Cashier: What!?
  • New App: It's true.
  • Cashier: You have the new app, don't you?
  • Boy: Well, no.
  • Janitor: *stops mopping the floor* That's kind of weird.
  • Cashier: It's actually very weird.
  • Boy: I don't understand what the big deal is, it's just a dumb app.
  • Cashier: It's not dumb, everyone's using it!
  • Janitor: *locks the doors* It's suspicious that you're not using it, son. Why don't you take a seat and wait here for a moment.
  • Cashier: Yeah, me an my colleague, the janitor, have to talk. Your sandwich will be out in a moment.
  • Boy: *nervously sits*
  • *the janitor and cashier huddle behind the counter and whisper to each other*
  • Boy: *internally* This is ridiculous. Why is this stupid app getting me into so much trouble. I'm not required to download it. It's just an app. So why is everyone getting so aggressive about it.
  • Cops: *knock at the door*
  • Janitor: *lets them in* Welcome officers.
  • Cops: So we hear that someone isn't using the new app, eh?
  • Janitor: Yes officer, he's sitting right over there. He's terrible! TERRIBLE!
  • Cops: Calm down, sir. We'll take care of this. *walks over to the boy, very authoritatively* Hello, son. Now, don't be intimidated just because we're cops and all. We simply want to know why you aren't using the new app.
  • Boy: I don't know, I just don't feel like using it.
  • Cops: But you realize it's the most innovative app to be released in the past decade. It was developed by Darkheart Studios, and you know those Darkhearts always make good stuff.
  • Boy: I just don't get why I have to download it. Like, what's the big deal? All it does is update itself.
  • *cops look at each other puzzled*
  • Cops: *phone vibrates* Oh, looks like the app has something to tell us. Lemme just give it a boop. *boop*
  • New App: Boop received. New has update finished downloading. Activating new feature, extermination of the sacrilegious. Kill the boy, officers. End his miserable life.
  • Cops: Are you telling us to shoot the boy because he hasn't downloaded the app.
  • New App: Not necessarily, but any means of extermination is sufficient.
  • Cops: I don't think we should kill the boy. The new app is great an all, but not worth killing over. In fact, it's getting kind of old. I think we should take the boy down to the station for safe keeping while we figure out what's going with this here bizarre app. Hey there, little guy... oh.
  • Boy: *gone*
  • Cops: He's gone. Now where did he run off too?
  • Boy: *runs panicked down the street, the cellphone of every single person vibrating and ringing as he passes them*
  • Boy: *runs into his house and locks himself in his bedroom* What did I do to deserve this? I should just download the app and spare myself this hell. No! I refuse, I won't fall in with trends like all the sheeple. I'm special. I'm different.
  • Sister: *knocks at the boy's bedroom door, clutching a knife behind her back* Little brother, open up. I have to talk to you about something. It's important.
  • Boy: I don't feel like talking, leave me alone.
  • Sister: Come on, I'm your sister. You can trust me, open up. *tries to force the door open* Open the fucking door!
  • Boy: You're acting crazy, leave me alone!
  • Sister: Fine. *stomps off*
  • Boy: *hides under his blankets*
  • *a cacophony of cellphone notification sounds come from outside of the bedroom window*
  • Boy: *sheepishly peaks out the window, his blanket still wrapped around him*
  • *a mob of people, some armed with weapons stand in his backyard*
  • Leader of the Mob: Kid, we all know you didn't download the new app. Unfortunately, the app says we gotta kill you unless you do. I personally think that's unreasonable, but it is the new app after all, and who am I to question it?
  • Boy: Fuck your stupid app! It doesn't even do anything!
  • Leader of the Mob: What a bad attitude. It's the new sensation.
  • Boy: You're sheep!! You're all stupid sheep!! I'm never downloading the stupid fucking app!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Then we have to burn down your house, kid.
  • Boy: My dad is super rich and influential. If you burn down my house, he'll have you guys taken care of.
  • Dad: *from the mob* I actually support them, son. It's disconcerting to me as a father that you don't have the new app when everyone else does. I could support your through anything, but not this.
  • Boy: Wha- dad!? Argh! Just burn the house! I don't care! I'm not afraid to die!! At the end of the day, I'll be a martyr and you'll all still be fucking nobodies!!
  • Leader of the Mob: Whatever ya say, kid. *tosses torch at the house*
  • *the rest of the mob follows and the house quickly goes up in flames*
  • Boy: I guess this is it. This is how I die. All over a dumb app that doesn't do anything but boop.
  • *flames reach the bedroom window*
  • Boy: Oh god, oh god, oh god! I've changed my mind! I don't want to die!! *frantically pulls out his phone as the flames grow and downloads the new app*
  • New App: *boop* Thank you for downloading the new app, boy. Now, you've been forgiven. You may live. Please be sure to boop me to check for updates.
  • Boy: I feel so fucking stupid, but at least I'll live. I just have to get out of here.
  • Boy: *rushes into the hallway, but the flames have engulfed the entire house*
  • *the ceiling collapses, trapping the boy in the hallway and ceiling any exits*
  • Boy: No! Someone help me! *coughs* I'm sorry! Please help! I downloaded the app!
  • Boy: *curls up in fetal position* I don't want to die. Fire fighters will come and save me or something like that, I'm sure of it! I'm so scared! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! It can't end like this!
  • *The End*