This is likely to be a long, rambly, stream of thought type post about B.A.P and the BABY fandom, so please bear with the lack of cohesion.
I have been conflicted lately. Frustrated, unhappy, angry even at times. I am a mulit-platform fan, so follow and try to promote B.A.P on a variety of social media outlets, like Reddit, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, even Amino, but I have been having trouble with it lately. The negativity in the BABY fandom has risen to levels I have never seen before, levels so high that I have even wished I had the willpower to step back and disengage.
There are doomsayers everywhere, so vocal about their fears and certainty thay we will lose the group, whether to military service or even earlier disbandment. Any small sign of disappointment, sadness, or frustration from the group results in the whole fandom seizing upon it, and it easily overwhelms the good, happy, fun happenings. That, in turn, rekindles our deepest fears, and becomes another “sign” that the group is moving towards dissolution.
There are BABYz on every single platform attacking other BABYz for “not trying hard enough”, accusing each other of not being true fans because of the ways they choose to support the boys. I ended up talking down an admin of an 800+ member Facebook group that had made a post visciously ripping into the whole member base for not getting a nomination for B.A.P on MCountdown, and all of the over 100 comments on that thread until I stepped in were BABYz ruthlessly condemning and attacking these “lazy other fake BABYz”, a group losely defined as anyone that didn’t vote and stream for any reason.
There’s non-stop bitterness at where B.A.P is, and jealousy over other groups. Half the talk I see now from BABYz is how they should be so much more popular, how it’s unfair that they aren’t. Then that anger is turned towards other groups, because in our own bias, we see them as undeserving.
There’s hypersensitivity regarding anything that isn’t flattery of B.A.P, and attacking fans of other groups even before they attack us. I got attacked for saying I didn’t like the mullets for Blue, and again for saying that, though I love Honeymoon, I think that tropical house has been too overdone in kpop this year, and I was worried that that would mean that it wouldn’t gain much attention outside of the fandom. Nothing about what I said was inflammatory, all of it stated as a personal opinion with no negative reflection on the boys, and yet I have been cussed out and attacked half a dozen times by my own fandom this year alone for daring to be critical of my one and only bias group.
And I have been seeing all of this daily. Some of it, I have been guilty of participating in. Some of it I find myself agreeing with and dwelling on, even if I don’t think it appropriate or necessarily right to express those irrational feelings online. I have been struggling with it for months, and having to overcompensate by immersing myself even more in older B.A.P and the times when I was happy and proud to not only be in this fandom, but to even boast about what an amazing family we are.
And I get it, completely. We are all scared about enlistment. We all want B.A.P to gain the recognition they deserve and have worked so hard for. We all want to prove to the kpop fans that continually tout other groups as unique for doing things that B.A.P has always been doing, that they continue to do, that there are other groups worth knowing, and that loving more than one does not invalidate your enjoyment of another. We all want to scream, “Here they are! Listen to them! Feel how much their music means to them, and see how passionate, beautiful, and dedicated they are!”
And I also understand that we can’t make those feelings go away. However irrational they may be, they’re born out of love and concern for these six men that we have given out time, energy, and dedication to. But we have to, absolutely have to, stop tearing down everything around us. I don’t just worry about fans like me that place a lot of my mental foundations on music and this group that is my most beloved to get me through my harder days, but also about new fans, potential fans, about B.A.P themselves, and how all of this affects everyone involved and how they feel being here, in this fandom.
I’m just tired. I want to love my fandom, I want to go back to the unbridled joy of celebrating B.A.P and all they have to offer us, showing them unwavering support and encouragement instead of pessimism, anger, and fear. But instead I have spent half of my time just….tired.
I have been in this fandom since the beginning, and followed B.A.P every single step of the way. I am entirely confident that I will continue to do so, and continue to draw strength, inspiration, and joy from them, even long after they decide to move on to different chapters of their lives. Both B.A.P and BABYz have irrevocably improved and changed ny life, and the sheer amount of gratitude I carry for that is astounding.
But I implore BABYz to also look at ourselves and what we’re becoming. I would implore all of us to make an attempt to be more positive, to shelve those fears we have all talked to death and focus on the support we have to give and the happiness that B.A.P gives us in return. What will happen will happen. All I know is that I want BABYz to hold each other up, and that I want B.A.P to see nothing but the best of us.
INKTOBER DAY 7 AND 9
I actually finished these sometime ago but I couldn’t post anything till now QWQ
This drawing of Upa’s based of my drawing for Inktober Day 1 wwww
And I really want to see more of Nijimasu, his design really attracted me and he seems like a fun person
51) A jikook compilation wouldn’t be a compilation without THE back hugs.
Hands on waist…
Chin on shoulder…
52) Not long after Jimin tweeted a pic of ramen, Jungkook indirectly replied to him by posting FOUR selcas of him along with a message telling him his ramen looked bland. idk about you but i found this interaction cute.
53) The artistic couple.The muscle pig and manggaetteok drawings that were featured in Snow App. They even drew the chicken drawings on the menu at Isac. I can imagine them sitting and drawing random things together. ㅠㅠ
54) Jimin posted not one but three videos on Jungkook’s birthday, which means he wished Jungkook three times on SNS and made my head spin thrice.
55) Jimin and Jungkook took photos of each other sleeping.
56) When Jungkook thought there was no camera around when they were rounding the corner so he went up to Jimin and slid his hand around his waist. Little did he know they got caught on camera. I’d like to thank Yoongi’s vj for this awesome footage.
57) The many times Jimin has summoned Jungkook for Armys. In simpler words, Jungkook always tweets something after Jimin, and we all know how seldom he appears on Twitter.
58) “hyung has cute toes” Okay but like who lingers around his friend’s photo shoot and randomly blurts out that he has cute..toes????
59) The look! Jungkook’s expression when he’s feeding Jimin earns him a spot on this list haha. Tbh They’re kinda like eyefucking eo when jimin’s being fed. look at Jimin’s eyes.Apart from that I like how Jungkook fed him.
61) How can I miss this? Jikook in Japan..this one has a special place in my
heart. Back in 2016, it had been just a casual
discussion between me and my friends
on kakao. Never thought jikook would continue displaying PDA every single time they go to Japan. What’s more when they have very strict no-camera policy during concerts.
62) The amount of heart eyes they shoot at each other.
63) When they had a dinner date in the dorm to promote Mala Hot Chicken. What baffled me was that Jungkook mentioned beforehand he wanted to sleep but he still accompanied Jimin. I’m soft.
64) Jimin has made it very apparent, truly obvious that he likes jungkook. Whether it’s liking him as a dongsaeng, or just someone he’s extremely comfortable with, Jimin always, without failing, reminds us who he dotes on. “Why do I like you so much?” Lately, I’ve been crazy because I like Jungkook so much. I think of this as a start of something beautiful, and I am so glad Jimin didn’t even hesitate in expressing his feelings towards the maknae. I think this might have helped jungkook unwind. Look at jungkook now. That’s some character development right there :)
65) Massage. Quoted line from AHL mentor, Tony Jones “They are very touchy feely and to them, it’s nothing. I’d walk into the room and Suga’s massaging V’s neck or Jimin’s giving Jungkook an intimate back massage..”
66) When Jungkook bent down so he would get closer to Jimin and put the rein-kook headband on Jimin’s head. They’re separated a lot of times during fansigns but somehow they managed to get tgt at the end.
67) When Jungkook blows a kiss, then turns to Jimin whose lips are puckered and does the same to him, using the same fingers he used earlier. Okay I’ve been meaning to say this. Realistically speaking, if you pucker your lips and you put your fingers on them, wouldn’t your saliva stick to your fingers? I’m not trying to imply anything here, just genuinely asking haha. 140529 Ameba Studio
68) When a webtoon artist gave Jimin two dolls, but Jimin decided to give one to Jungkook. She even posted a webtoon of them. To be honest who wouldn’t?
69) *screams to the people in the back* ALL-NIGHTER FRIENDS!!! As written by the man himself, “ALL the time, it’s just the two of us doing something at night. I don’t know what we do”
70) Jungkook scribbling hearts all over Jimin’s birthday drawing. He’s one whipped man.
71) Just other instances Jungkook and Jimin flirting on stage.
//gif above isn’t mine//
72) When Jimin and Jungkook chose each other when asked “if you were a girl, who would you date?”
73) The shocking fact that Jungkook demanded an apartment from Jimin as a graduation gift. Like, apartment? of all things? What kind of domesticity is this?
74) The way Jungkook takes care of Jimin even though he’s the younger one, and how Jimin is there when he’s the one seeking comfort.
75) I will never forget the Gayo Back hug, ever. I’ve mentioned back hug somewhere above, but this is different.This deserves a point of its own.
76) When Jimin took off one of his rings at the airport and gave it to jungkook.
77) When Jungkook stopped in front of Jimin during his part in For You at Osaka concert, and kind of directed the lyrics for Jimin. Jimin just couldn’t stop smiling afterward :((( The lyrics are: It smells like you The road that I walk on I plug my earphone to my status My true feelings lie beyond there
78) When Jimin and Jungkook steered away from the bunch and instead opted for some alone on the cruise. people say you smile the brightest when you’re with someone you love, yes?
79) The fact that Jimin wanted to become napa cabbage after seeing Kook dressed up as a bunny, so he could eat him, albeit choosing to be cheese initially. What even is that statement lol 👣
80) The morph of their dynamic. I kind of miss their old moments, when Jimin was bolder, more carefree, and Jungkook seemed to be too shy to reciprocate. (on camera). Now they have matured. They have grown up well. A wave of nostalgia sweeps over me. The transition of their relationship is extremely beautiful.
81) When Jimin became Jungkook’s makeup artist for a day, hovering around the set, even drawing a pic of a bird that’s used as a prop later.
82) their size difference might be exaggerated at times, but you really can’t deny that it is cute, even if it’s not much.
83) When Jungkook changed the lyrics in Spring Day to Jimin. Like a small piece // Of Jimin // That floats in the air
84) When Jungkook showed to the world what a sweet boyfriend he is,making jimin laugh, sitting him on his lap, hugging him on his birthday. Sweet sweet jungkookie.
85) Let’s state the obvious- 21CG choreos!!! i love how they evolved, just like their remarkable, legendary nmd lift.
86) Their sensual dance covers.
87) When Jungkook guides and encourages Jimin during games/missions.
88) The many times Jimin has been spotted wearing Jungkook’s clothes, despite the well-known fact that Jungkook doesn’t share clothes. Newsflash: Jungkook wears Jimin’s too!
89) We know Jungkook knows Jimin like the back of his hand, but that doesn’t mean that Jimin knows any less. I think they spend time together way too much.👣
90) How often the word “JIMIN” trips off Jungkook’s tongue- this what fascinates me the most. At one time he even mistook Jin for Jimin.
91) Jimin’s eagerness to kiss Jungkook for his Coming of Age, being the first one to hold out a hand for a game of Rock Paper Scissors. Bon Voyage season 1
92) When Jimin waited over an hour for Kook to finish filming BTS Flower Boy mini drama, even though he’d finished his part. Jimin couldn’t even stay mad at him for not telling, like how fond is he?
93) The fact that Jungkook is more than comfortable speaking in banmal with Jimin.He once said in Idol Party that he prefers talking in jeondaetmal (polite language) with his hyungs but look at the amount of times he’s dropped the honorific and called Jimin by his name. uhm, let’s talk about treating the other as equals?
94) Jimin and Jungkook, the human embodiment of Piske Usagi.
95) When Jungkook’s bro drew Jungkook as Muzi and Jimin as Con, the inseparable duo on Kakao. Bro knows. 👣
96) In Kkul FM 2016, When Jungkook and Jimin nearly intertwined their fingers . Scoffs bh seemed to think it’s okay to abruptly cut off their scene. What intrigues me most is that they weren’t even looking but their hands still somehow managed to find their way around. Also other instances they hold hands. I love how Jungkook’s slightly bigger hands envelop Jimin’s smaller ones. *Jimin’s pinky tho!*
97) How they’re destined to meet. The fact that they’re both from Busan, have matching moles, Jungkook’s bro named Junghyun and Jimin’s bro named Jihyun..imagine what would’ve happened had Jimin not been the last one to enter Bangtan.
98) When Jimin said he’d be looking at the ocean with Jungkook but Jungkook straight up rejected him and chose to go on a trip with his bro instead. It was quite a strong statement but a moment later Jungkook proved it wrong by reaching out and squeezing Jimin’s hand underneath the table, kinda like a reassurance that it’s all part of a joke. He cares. He truly does.
99) During Jin’s birthday prank at MAMA, these two couldn’t keep their hands off each other. The moment they entered the bathroom, they almost shut everything out-talking to themselves, picking on the cake- until the members gave them the signal to stop w/e they’re doing. Months later Mama kindly revealed another footage, this time consisting of just them, in the bathroom, jungkook right in the middle of buttoning up his jacket, wearing nothing underneath. How was I supposed to sit still?
100) When Jungkook and Jimin take skinship to a whole new level, or simply put, the times Jikook makes us question the real intention behind their acts and excessive skinship.
101) Last but not least, Perhaps my all time favorite moment- When Jungkook was caught observing Jimin’s every move, literally had his eyes only on him.
(Mark 1:17 onward)
I super love this video bc the song chosen matched so well with the situation- like they wanted to reach out but couldn’t so they stayed put, could only observe the other from far…
and that’s it! thank you, you made it to the bottom of this post! In short, everything about jikook makes me feel content. I had thought of doing more but despite my brain literally screaming at me “Include this! You forgot this!”, I had to stick to 101. Anyway, I hope this mends your longing hearts. Have a lovely day! Thank you for reading!
Bonus because I have to:
when the members revealed on BTS KKul FM 2017 that Jungkook bought a birthday present only for Jimin.Am I your favorite hyung?
When Jungkook, the youngest in the group, called Jimin who is 2 years older than him a baby. 애기야가자 !