i'm just so happy for her she finally got her win!!

I'm so much happier ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š now that I'm dead๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€. Technically ๐Ÿค”missing๐Ÿ•ต. Soon to be presumed dead๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€. Gone๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป. And my lazy ๐Ÿ’ค lying ๐Ÿ˜ˆ shitting ๐Ÿ’ฉ oblivious ๐Ÿ™„husband ๐Ÿ’‘ will go to prison ๐Ÿš“ for my murder ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช. Nick Dunne took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money๐Ÿ’ฐ. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช you have to have discipline๐Ÿ’ช. You befriend a local idiot๐Ÿ’. Harvest the details ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ“ of her hundrum life and cram her with stories ๐Ÿ“š about your husband's ๐Ÿ’‘ violent temper ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก. Secretly create some money ๐Ÿ’ฐ troubles: credit cards ๐Ÿ’ณ, perhaps online gambling๐Ÿ’ป♠๏ธ♣๏ธ♥๏ธ♦๏ธ. With the help of the unwitting๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป, bump upโฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ your life insurance๐Ÿ’ต. Purchase getaway car๐Ÿš˜. Craigslist. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash๐Ÿ’ต. You need to package ๐ŸŽ yourself so that people will truly mourn ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ your loss. And America ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ loves ♥๏ธ pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถwomen ๐Ÿšบ. As if it's so hard to spread your legs. You know what's hard? Faking a pregnancy ๐Ÿ‘ถ. First, drain your toilet๐Ÿšฝ. Invite pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ idiot ๐Ÿ’ into your home ๐Ÿ  and ply her with lemonade ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ‹. Steal ๐Ÿค— pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ idiot's ๐Ÿ’ urine ๐Ÿšฝ. Voilà! ๐ŸŽ‰ A pregnany is now part of your legal medical record ๐Ÿ—ƒ. Happy Aniversary๐Ÿ’‘๐ŸŽ‰. Wait for your clueless โ” husband ๐Ÿ’‘ to start his day ๐Ÿ“†. Off he goes... ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป and the clock is ticking โฑ. Meticulously stage ๐ŸŽญ your crime scene ๐Ÿ•ต with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt ๐Ÿค”. You need to bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. A lot๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰. A lot, a lot๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰๐Ÿ’‰. The head wound ๐Ÿค• kind of bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. A crime scene ๐Ÿ•ต kind of bleed ๐Ÿ’‰. You need to clean; poorly๐Ÿ‘Ž, like he ๐Ÿ’‘ would. Clean and bleed ๐Ÿ’‰, bleed ๐Ÿ’‰ and clean. And leave a Little something behind: a fire ๐Ÿ”ฅin July๐Ÿ“†? And because you're you๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ, you don't ๐Ÿšซ stop there. You need a diary ๐Ÿ“’. Minimum three hundred 3๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ entries ๐Ÿ“ on the Nick and Amy ๐Ÿ’‘ story ๐Ÿ’ญ. Start with the fairy-tale early days: those are true, and they're crucial. You want Nick and Amy to be likable๐Ÿ’–. After that, you invent. The spending๐Ÿ’ธ, the abuse๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ฅ, the fear๐Ÿ˜ฑ, the threat of violence๐Ÿ”ช. And Nick thought he was the writer๐Ÿ“... burn it๐Ÿ”ฅ, just the right amount. Make sure the cops ๐Ÿ‘ฎ will find it ๐Ÿ•ต. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure ๐Ÿ’Ž hunt. And if I get everything right โžก๏ธ, the world ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒ will hate ๐Ÿ˜ก Nick for killing ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿ”ช his beautiful ๐Ÿ˜‡, pregnant ๐Ÿ‘ถ wife ๐Ÿ’‘. And after all the outrage ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก, when I'm ready, I'll go out on the water ๐ŸŒŠ with a handful โœ‹๐Ÿป of pills ๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’Š and a pocket full of stones. And when they find my body ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿผ, they'll know: Nick Dunne ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป dumped his beloved ๐Ÿ’‘ like garbage ๐Ÿšฎ, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women ๐Ÿšบ๐Ÿšบ๐Ÿšบ. Then Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป will die ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ’€ too. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป and Amy ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿผ will be gone ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป, but then we never really existed. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป loved a girl ๐Ÿšบ I was pretending to be. "Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". Men ๐Ÿšน always use that, don't they? As their defining compliment: "She's a cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is game ๐ŸŽฒ๐ŸŽฎ. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ is fun ๐ŸŽ‰. Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ never ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ gets angry ๐Ÿ˜ก at her man ๐Ÿšน. She only smiles โ˜บ๏ธ in a chagrined, loving ๐Ÿ’• manner. And then presents her mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ for fucking ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ. She likes ๐Ÿ‘ what he likes ๐Ÿ‘, so evidently he's a vinyl hipster ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘“ who loves โค๏ธ fetish Manga ๐Ÿ“š. If he likes girls gone wild ๐Ÿ‘™, she's a mall ๐Ÿ› babe who talks football ๐Ÿˆ and endures buffalo wings ๐Ÿ— at Hooters ๐Ÿˆ๐Ÿˆ. When I met Nick Dunne ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป I knew he wanted "Cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ". And for him, I'll admit: I was willing to try. I wax๐Ÿ•ฏ-stripped my pussy ๐Ÿ˜ฝ raw. I drank canned beer ๐Ÿบ watching Adam Sandler ๐Ÿ’ฉ movies ๐Ÿ“ผ. I ate cold โ„๏ธ pizza ๐Ÿ• and remained a size ๐Ÿ‘— two 2๏ธโƒฃ. I blew him ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘„, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game ๐ŸŽฒ๐ŸŽฎ. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it. Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป teased out in me things I didn't know existed. A lightness โ˜€๏ธ, a humor๐Ÿ˜‚, an ease. But I made him smarter ๐Ÿค“. Sharper. I inspired him to rise โฌ†๏ธ to my level. I forged the man ๐Ÿšน of my dreams ๐Ÿ’ญ. We were happy ๐Ÿ˜Š pretending to be other people. We were the happiest ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š couple ๐Ÿ‘ซ we knew. And what's the point of being together if you're not ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ the happiest ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š? But Nick ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป got lazy ๐Ÿ’ค. He became someone I did not ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ agree to marry ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿผ. He actually expected me to love โค๏ธ him unconditionally. Then he dragged me, penniless ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿšซ, to the navel of this great country ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and found himself a newer, younger ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿผ, bouncier cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž girl ๐Ÿšบ. You think I'd let him destroy ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž me and end up happier ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š than ever? No ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿšซfucking way. He doesn't โŒ get to win ๐Ÿ†. My cute โ˜บ๏ธ, charming ๐Ÿ˜‰, salt-of-the-earth Missouri guy. He needed to learn ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ“š. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด work ๐Ÿ’ช for things. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด pay ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต. Grown-ups ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ‘ด suffer consequences ๐Ÿ˜–.

REPUTATION SECRET SESSIONS LONDON (OCTOBER 13TH 2017) - Masterpost

There was a lot going on Friday the 13thโ€ฆ Most of us probably missed something. So what Iโ€™m trying to do here is gather tweets and Tumblr posts of the lucky ones who got to have that experience. Basically these are just some of the impressions and important information people were able to share with us. If I missed something important, please feel free to point it out and I will updateโ€ฆ Also, and I think I speak for everyone, huge thanks to all of you who answered all of our questions and shared anecdotes from this event. We really do appreciate it.

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Here’s the thing about the new canon.

Essentially they want us to watch the Original Trilogy, completely invested in the fact that our heroes will triumph, and then they want us to watch The Force Awakens and just be totally OK with the fact that everything we were just presented with over the course of three films is out the window.

They want Star Wars fans to spend several hours watching Han and Leia’s love story, watching them fight for each other, overcome personal obstacles to be together, make incredible sacrifices for each other–they want us to spend ESB and ROTJ rooting for them, want us to watch Han hold her close as they both smile at the end of the trilogy, want us to be happy and hopeful and thrilled that their true love has made it through–and then they want us to watch TFA and see that their marriage failed, and they want us to accept it.

They want us to get invested in our heroes–in Han and Luke and Leia–and desperately hope that they all make it through. They want us to be invested in their personal allegiances to one another to the point that we KNOW that Han will come back at the battle of Yavin for Luke and Leia, we KNOW that he’ll go out into freezing conditions to rescue Luke, we KNOW that he’ll run into Echo Base to rescue Leia on Hoth, we KNOW that Luke will ignore his Jedi Masters and abandon his training to go rescue Leia and Han on Bespin, we KNOW that Leia will risk her safety to go back for Luke at Cloud City, we KNOW that Luke and Leia will leave the rebellion and put themselves at risk to rescue Han, WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW. The new canon wants us to sit there KNOWING ALL THESE THINGS, knowing that they are the most important damn things in the galaxy to one another, knowing that they’re family and that they love each other. They want us to know it and be invested in it and root for it–root for the strength of that bond and that loyalty and root for them all to make it through together–for all of them to triumph together. And they do!

And then TFA wants us to COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR MINDS and accept that all of that is destroyed. That bond is broken. Luke has abandoned his friends for some reason. Han has left Leia. Leia is all alone. And not only has that crucial bond just been cast aside, but their triumphs have all been undone. Empire defeated?? Welcome to Empire 2.0!!! Death Stars destroyed??? Welcome to Death Star 3.0!!!! Vader redeemed???? Welcome to Vader 2.0, and even worse, he’s your own damn son/nephew AND he kills Han!!!!!! It just takes their victory and deconstructs every single piece of it, and the only possible way that that maybe could have been tolerable would have been if AT LEAST they were still together, still true to the loyalty we knew, unstoppable and united no matter what new dangers they face, and they’re NOT. The Original Trio, the most beloved and iconic characters of all time, are just completely leveled to NOTHING. Fractured and broken up and reduced to these miserable un-versions of themselves. And the new canon wants you, as a Star Wars fan to accept this, because “Don’t worry!! We have these three shiny NEW heroes for you!!!! They’ll get a happy ending for sure!!!!” But??? What??? I don’t give a shit about their ending, what about the ending we were already supposed to have had???? The one you made me hope for for three damn movies??? The one I was lead to believe was true???? What about that ending??????

No, they decided that they were going to go back thirty years after the fact and change it.

But wait, you say, how did this happen??? How could these people at Lucasfilm who were claiming to “protect” Star Wars destroy Luke and Leia and Han like that?? How could they write a Han Solo who abandons Leia to do all the fighting all alone when there’s a fascist regime routinely trying to kill her and their son is a part of it and her brother has vanished without a trace??? How could they write a Luke who’s evidently turned his back on the galaxy–on the FAMILY–that needs him??? How could they have DESTROYED LEIA’S WHOLE LIFE????? ALL of their lives???? And for seemingly no reason!!!! They could have easily written a movie to introduce the new characters and create conflict without dismantling every single thing about our beloved trio and their dynamic. But they didn’t. They slaughtered them.

And then you listen to these people speak. And they start saying things like Leia clearly could never have been an attentive mother because she was too preoccupied with politics and her career. Han could never have been happy settling down and committing to something–not even his family–so OBVIOUSLY he left and he’s smuggling again. Han and Leia were too incompatible and could never have worked. Luke is off in EXILE because AREN’T ALL JEDI MASTERS SUPPOSED TO BE IN EXILE???????????

And you’re just. You’re floored. You’re blown away. It’s like those people didn’t even fucking WATCH Star Wars. Did they completely miss the fact that Leia’s character arc is about learning to care about things that aren’t the rebellion, and learning to rely on people–not just herself???? Did they not see how much she’s already lost–LITERALLY HER ENTIRE WORLD–and how much she had to suffer before she finally got something that was hers again? Did they not see the hell she had to go through to get it???? Did they really think she would throw that away after all that–did they think that LEIA of all people couldn’t have balanced a career and a family????

Were they just twiddling their thumbs when HAN SOLO’S ENTIRE FREAKING STORY IS ABOUT REALIZING THAT HE’S NOT A SMUGGLER, NOT SELFISH, NOT THAT MAN ANYMORE–MAYBE NEVER REALLY WAS THAT MAN. LEARNING TO COMMIT–TO STAY WITH LEIA AND LUKE AND THE REBELS AND SACRIFICE HIMSELF IF NEED BE????? HIS ENTIRE GROWTH AS A CHARACTER WAS AWAY FROM SELFISHNESS AND FLIGHTINESS. HE BECAME A STEADFAST, BRAVE, DEPENDABLE MAN COMMITTED TO HIS FRIENDS AND HIS LOVE AND THE CAUSE. HOW DID THEY WATCH THOSE FILMS AND SAY “WELL HAN COULD NEVER SETTLE DOWN.”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did they not notice that Luke’s DEFINING characteristic throughout the original trilogy is his loyalty to his loved ones??? His utter refusal to let harm come to them–to give up on them?? His refusal to abandon them???? And then they want us to believe that he… abandoned them?????

So essentially the thing about the new canon is that people who don’t understand Star Wars are suddenly in charge of Star Wars, and they go back and ignore the characterization of three entire films and present us with material that is entirely contradictory of the original trilogy, and then they don’t understand why people have reacted negatively. 

And then of course you get fans screaming about how it’s REALISTIC this way.

When the fuck did you get the idea that Star Wars is supposed to be realistic??????? Star Wars is NOT about realism. It’s a Space Fairytale. An epic saga. It’s not supposed to be Game of Thrones grimdark jam in the tragedy. It was never like that for forty years. It was never presented that way. George Lucas was ADAMANT in making this point. And that’s why it resonated with so many people–that’s why it was such a success. Because it was uplifting. It was inspiring. It touched that part of our hearts where those fairytales live–where it’s possible for our heroes to go up against the forces of evil and WIN and have a happy ending. That’s why they gave Luke and Leia and Han the happy fucking ending!!!!

And the thing with the new canon is that they don’t care. They don’t care about “protecting Star Wars.” They don’t care about what Star Wars stands for. They don’t care about what George Lucas created. They care about money. They don’t want you to be invested in Han and Luke and Leia anymore. They want you to care about Finn and Rey and Poe, and apparently no one at Lucasfilm understood that they didn’t have to destroy the old characters to get people to like the new ones.

And for the record, just because the people delivering this truly appalling “new canon” horrorshow AU are Disney and Lucasfilm does NOT mean that I have to accept it all as true. They don’t understand Star Wars, they don’t care about it, they’re not its original creator, and I don’t have to accept a single thing they say.

That’s the thing about the new canon.

anonymous asked:

(1/2) i love lance more than anything but i'm also in love with the percy jackson series and recently i was thinking; unclaimed!lance, stuffed into the hermes cabin, and all alone even with everyone around him. because his friends are out there, having a jolly good time being claimed (Hunk is Hephaestus, Pidge is Demeter, Keith is Ares, Shiro is Ares.) and he's stuffed with Hermes. And he's so sad over it, yknow? because he doesnt know what he is, who he is, and he feels so left out

(2/2) because he sticks out like a sore thumb in the hermes cabin, he’s not all cunning and thieving like they naturally are (hermes is the god of thieves) and it kind of just kills him bc he’s always had a big & close family and all of a sudden he was torn away from them and hauled into this camp and then he finds out he doesnt even know whose kid he is?! (i like to imagine him being claimed as a son of poseidon and finally, finally feeling at peace bc he knows who he is now)

I am weak for Percy Jackson, how did you know Okay so, lets say this is in canon verse for the Percy Jackson series- they had the war and they won and shit- and imagine, Lance, who doesn’t know who he is, who is kinda good at sword fighting but much better at long range archery, who gets a long very well with Will Solace and the Apollo cabin, move into a cabin that is almost always empty. 

Yeah, he’s excited to be Percy Jackson’s sibling and all, but holy fuck, is it lonely in the cabin. Percy is at collage now, and Tyson is in Rome with Ella, and the cabin is so lonely and silent and it honestly bothers him. That is until Percy and Tyson find out they have a younger sibling. (In canon, Percy is like 18-19, and in this AU pretty boy, Lance, is like 16, and Tyson is a cyclops their age scales work differently.) And they’re like rushing to camp to meet them. All of the seven do. And of course he hung out with Nico, cause you know, friends with Will Solace, so hes already cool with him, but now he’s friends with all the demigods that are like… cool as shit and strong as shit. And he hangs out with Jason Grace- little known fact about Lance, he has a crush on one Jason Grace, much to Keith’s annoyance. 

So he starts hanging out with the seven plus everyone else, and his friends are like, “What” because now Lance is really cool, and being recognized for being really cool, and he has all these new friends, and Hunk doesn’t want to be replaced. Cue a big emotional scene were they talk it out and Hunk is introduced to everyone and Leo is like, “Oh yeah that’s my brother, hes a nerd.” And Pidge takes a little longer too come around to Lance but when she does. Oh boy. Pidge hugs and cuddles Lance to death and won’t let him go because she doesn’t want Lance to forget her like her family had too in the awe of his new friends. Next is actually Shiro, and his is a little less emotional, and they just talk it out about how he wants too be Lance’s friend, always. So… Keith.

Keith, golden boy of the ares cabin, can not deal with the thought of Lance abandoning him for his new friends especially Jason mother fucking Grace. And all of his siblings are like, oh just confess to him you wimp, except Clarisse because she gets hot hard it is to love someone who is in love with another person Selina  so she doesn’t tell him anything, instead, she tells him he should talk too Nico about it- Because lets face it, Nico is great and probably waited around doing that mutual pinning thing for will for like two weeks until they got together (This disregards canon because canon is dumb when it comes to how they got together) and he knows. So Keith goes to Nico, they talk, and Keith tries to confess to Lance. Except he accidentally challenges Jason too a duel instead. And holy chicken fry, Lance ain’t prepared. Like to see his major crush, challenge his minor crush, and have his minor crush accept? (Piper’s laughing her ass off and taking bets.) He is shook. Especially when Keith tells him in the Poseidon cabin that hes fighting for Lance.  So the day of the fight he walks over to Lance and tells him to keep his eyes on him, and Lance does. Keith wins- to everyone’s surprise and since no one won in the betting pool Piper keeps all the winnings and he just, kisses Lance. And Lance kisses back. So now Lance has family, friends, and a boyfriend- BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Because Sally is the best mom ever to exist, she invites Lance over, and just smothers him in affection, because his own mom is in Cuba. He cries, she makes cookies, Paul is happy to have another person that they consider a son, and Sally is going to give birth soon, its going to be great. 

ML Season 2: Ep 1&2 Summaries

Iโ€™m not even fully alive yet. Iโ€™m writing this from the afterlife. My goodness.

Warning: SPOILERS
Warning 2: My stream froze halfway through episode one, so I canโ€™t give a full summary of the fight scene, but the important stuffโ€ฆ omgโ€ฆ
Warning 3: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS LOOK AWAAAAY

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Why do I dislike Tales of Zestiria the X?

Recently Iโ€™ve been asked one question numerous times: โ€œWhy do you think the anime is shit? You only hate it because it doesnโ€™t focus on SorMik, right?โ€

Now guys, I think itโ€™s vital for me to answer this. Because letโ€™s face it, we will never see face to face if we donโ€™t discuss the matter. And look, here I am, typing this out because I feel this is important. So if youโ€™re curious and want to understand why a lot of us dislike the anime then please bear with me because this will be long (6 pages in Word, 6!)

To make this a little bit easier for me, Iโ€™ll assume that you havenโ€™t played the game or watched its walkthrough yet and that you like the anime. But of course if you did either of them itโ€™s good, bc at least youโ€™ll know what I am talking about.

And so, I shall do a character analysis in this post, comparing the game and anime selves to each other while I name some other issues as well. I wonโ€™t list all the inconsistency and plot holes the anime has for Iโ€™d be here even after my death.

Iโ€™m going to try to make you guys understand that while the SorMik fandom is not happy, there are more pressing issues with the anime than that.

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anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm the sick anon from a few days ago - I recovered! If it's possible to ask for another request (ignore if not), how about the RFA + Saeran + Vanderwood (why not?) go bowling? What kind of crazy shenanigans would happen? (I'm also really happy to see your blog growing - hopefully it gets even bigger!)

good to hear from you again, anon, and I’m glad you’re doing better! now, about your request, well… I had a solid idea of what I wanted to do but it got lost and I don’t know what happened lol. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. 

ohhh~ thanks for the encouraging words by the way! it’s gotten big enough to make us question our entire existence just like zen in this request like rlly guys are you lost? but we love you anyways mwah~

- Admin Cat Mom.

mmkay before we start we’re gonna put these goofballs in teams because that’s gonna make things ten times more interesting:

  • Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Honey Buddha Squadron: Yoosung, Seven, Saeran, Vanderwood.
  • Team ‘we’re not naming the team as your fur ball, Jumin’: Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, V.

I think you can pretty much guess who named each team.

Yoosung

  • probably something like this.
  • puppy tried his best leave him alone.
  • wants to die, he’s a college student how is he supposed to pay for that?
  • swears he’s good!! he just… needs a bit of warm up, that’s all.
  • the one (1) time he strikes he does a silly victory dance and starts jumping in excitement.
  • one of his shoes ends up who knows where.
  • most likely hitting someone in the face.
  • what in the world… did you do with your legs, boy? what were you trying to reach? the sun? 
  • throwing yourself into the sun sounds like the perfect solution for the disasters you’re causing, though, we can’t blame you.
  • but please tie your laces properly next time.

Seven

  • IS HERE TO WIN.
  • and boy does he deliver.
  • does the weirdest poses while somehow managing to get high scores.
  • is all over yoosung the entire time, hugs and screams and ridiculous “secret” handshakes to celebrate even when their balls land in the gutter.
  • and actually poor thing tried to hug everyone on his team but saeran gave him the cold shoulder and vanderwood took out their taser.
  • gets bored after a while and starts messing with everyone.
  • hacks the system, now the scoring screens are filled with cats.
  • zen is now sneezing and yelling and questioning his existence.

Saeran

  • bonds with vanderwood and makes fun of everyone.
  • “what do you mean you can’t smoke in here?”
  • is annoyed, even the act of lifting the ball is bothersome to him.
  • maybe he doesn’t feel like playing this dumb game stop staring at him for fuck’s sake.
  • “the hell are you looking at?”
  • death stares, lots of death stares.
  • is actually embarrassed of his poor bowling skills.
  • “there are just too many people here can we please go home now”
  • he only agreed to go because seven promised him ice cream.
  • and instead of ice cream he has a vanderwood and ugly shoes.

Vanderwood

  • wonders why they’re there in the first place.
  • knows like half of these people.
  • turns out most of them are fucking hilarious.
  • narcissist rat man won’t stop whining and sneezing lmao why is no one immortalizing this moment on a camera.
  • no worries fam seven’s got you covered.
  • scary lady aka jaehee seems like quite the contestant, the only one worthy of their time for that matter.
  • and the place is literally crumbling down thanks to crybaby #2.
  • anyways, when it comes to the actual bowling part, they look like a majestic fairy??
  • their hair looks fantastic and shiny, they’ve taken off their signature jacket, their posture is excellent and to sum it up vanderwood is a blessing to this world.

Zen

  • WHINES.
  • he’s supposed to be doing this with his girlfriend.
  • and why does he have to be in the same team as mr. trust fund kid.
  • ~more whining~
  • sort of good at bowling, knows what he’s doing.
  • girls around them start staring and whispering because of cOURSE he’s bragging and showing off his muscles, of course.
  • takes pleasure in making fun of jumin at first until he makes it his goal to surpass his scores because there’s no way in hell he can be this good?
  • again, honey, you’re on the same team.
  • before we know it, they start bickering over nonsense.
  • is having the worst of times.
  • GIVE. THIS MAN. A BREAK.

Jumin

  • oh my oh my what is this commoners’ leisure activity he’s never played before and is now deeply interested in.
  • gets himself his own pair of bowling shoes, and a ball which has a kitten printed in it… yeah, that’s elizabeth the 3rd.
  • he also read books and did research beforehand like did you think this man would attend such a physically demanding event without careful and well thought out preparation? please.
  • does the granny style at some point.
  • the kind of guy to bowl a strike while looking completely clueless.
  • but when he gets the hang of it, he gets so cocky.
  • his winning smirk is priceless.
  • tries to teach zen his ways despite being mocked because he’s got a forgiving and generous soul.

Jaehee

  • feels awkward at first because she doesn’t want to be there?? with her boss?? may god have mercy on her soul.
  • her ball falls in the gutter a few times, she’s so awkward and people are staring oh god it’s kind of a her-first-RFA-party situation all over again.
  • after warming up a little and getting used to it, though… oh boy.
  • she’s enjoying this.
  • aces every shot.
  • everyone’s scared.
  • no one can defeat her, unbeatable, she’s queen.
  • stress? what is stress? stress is for the weak, stress has finally left her sacred body and she’s finally reached that mental peace she’s yearned for years.
  • is so into it she almost calls jumin a sucker.
  • honey, you’re on the same team.

V

  • is not very good at it.
  • doesn’t even care.
  • to be honest he’s just there to have a good laugh.
  • puts the minimal effort when it’s his turn, prefers sitting in the back to enjoy the show because everyone is so goddamn Extra, all he’s missing is some popcorn.
  • part of him is happy to see them bonding and having fun though.
  • cheers for ALL of them like a proud dad no matter their final result.
  • gets yelled at because hE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO CHEER FOR THE OPPOSITE TEAM.
  • “goddamn it, v” that was yoosung.
  • laughs and shakes his head because he’s grown so accustomed to his people and their usual bullshit, after all that’s why he loves them all.
fearless — p.p.

wc: 2.2k
summary: โ€œyou take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearlessโ€ based off of the song fearless by taylor swift


The rain had always been her favorite kind of weather. The smell always brought a smile to her face and she loved the way raindrops felt on her cheekbones. There was also something, she had noticed, about the way the pavement looked right after a rainstorm. The light from outside made it glow, and if anything she felt like the scent of it only increased. On this particular day, her and Peter had gone out to the nearby cafรฉ for hot chocolate. The hot beverage warmed her hands in contrast to the cooler weather outside. She insisted on getting a table by the window and Peter didnโ€™t argue because it made her happy.

When she heard the first raindrop hit the glass window, her head snapped towards it to see the downpour of rain begin. A wide smile made its way onto her face and Peter stared at her. He was completely infatuated with her. The twinkle in her eyes when it rained. The way her nose got this slight crinkle in the bridge when she smiled that wide. When it really began to downpour, Peter stood up, insisting that they should get back soon before Aunt May started to worry. Peter hurried and tried to run to his car while she lagged behind. The rain had soaked them both to the bone the minute they stepped outside, but she didnโ€™t care. She stood in the middle of the sidewalk, giggles falling past her lips as she clumsily twirled, letting the rain run down her cheeks and the slope of her nose.

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anonymous asked:

After watching the leaked episode I'm more convinced than ever that Dany is going to get pregnant but that also makes me wonder how will she fight against the NK. Can she ride a dragon while pregnant? It's definitely going to bring a lot of tension/angst to her story arc. She finally gets the one thing she thought she would never have but it comes at the worse possible time. What are your thoughts about that? How will it impact her relationship with Jon? How will their people react to the news?

I agree with you that a Dany pregnancy plot is almost a certainty at this point. Them mentioning twice in one episode that she can’t have children, and in that same episode asking the audience to think about Jon’s future and legacy, is basically a confirmation. 

I do think that when we find this out, it won’t be an episode 1 reveal. It’s too important. So maybe she will do some fighting on Drogon. But even that seems unlikely to me because just from a storytelling standpoint I would be very surprised for episode 1 to have a battle sequence. 

Soooo I tend to agree that a pregnancy might sideline Dany next season. When people asked me about this a few months ago I always asserted that she wouldn’t be pregnant until almost the end because there wouldn’t be time skips. This season we already had time skips within episodes. It has really surprised me. So I actually do expect some small time skip from the finale this season to episode 1 of season 8–at least for the duration of the voyage North. We know that voyage will last at least one month so if Dany gets pregnant early on then we can count on her being aware of that pregnancy by around episode 2. So you’re probably right. She won’t battle the NK herself. 

And this is going to be a cause of major angst and tension for her because Dany has always been someone who likes to be at the head of her army, who likes to interact with and walk among her people. And now that her dragons are big enough, she rides into battle herself instead of commanding people from the sidelines. I think it will be very difficult for Dany to have to sit around at Winterfell or somewhere similar while other people–especially Jon–fight for her. 

This will cause some of the tension for their relationship, because they will have to be apart and Dany will likely resent that he will want her to stay behind for the safety of their child.

In terms of how other people will react, it’s a given that Jon will be overjoyed I’m sure. He’s a sweetie and a perfect cinnamon roll. He will love Dany and therefore extra love any child they have. I think everyone on “team Dragonstone” + Davos will also be pleased. 

But I think the Northerners will be less happy. Again, this is something I’ve recently changed my stance on. I used to think that the Northerners would be so grateful for Dany’s aid and Jon’s return that they would be willing to accept her. But now I think that’s going to take more time and convincing based on how the Northern lords are responding to Jon still being away from Winterfell. They aren’t very patient and they aren’t very understanding. They’re ridiculous. If I’m honest I think it’s kind of silly writing. We are supposed to believe that the Northerners already believe in the WW and the NK without having to lay eyes on them themselves. If that’s the case, I think it’s laughable that they feel they can criticize Jon for doing everything he can to save them from that threat. 

So as much as I hate it, I think part of the conflict and tension in season 8 will be the North being a bit against Dany and Jon–especially if/when Jon’s heritage is revealed. The baby could help in that it represents an heir and a secure future but apparently everything Jon has done still isn’t enough for his people. 

I don’t think an all-out civil war will occur, though. I just feel strongly that there will be some unnecessary angst and conflict that will only strengthen the bond between Jon and Dany as he is pressed to defend her to his people. But what he said on the boat will be true–his people will come to see her for what she is: a good woman and a good queen. 

As for the other Starks, don’t even ask me about Bran. He won’t react. He’ll make that weird face and say some cryptic vaguely threatening stuff. 

Arya will be initially wary but her faith in Jon is as strong as ever. Seeing that Jon trusts and loves Dany will remove any doubt she might have had. 

I think Sansa will be the hardest person to win over. Not because of anything silly like jealousy. The ship wars are restricted to the dark hell of tumblr. There isn’t going to be a Sansa/Dany/Jon love triangle. I would bet money on that haha. But we know that she is cautious and defensive and I think politically we could describe her as isolationist. She isn’t going to want Jon spending more time in the South and she isn’t going to want to have to give over her safety and sovereignty to anyone. It won’t be a personal issue with Dany in particular, just overall caution and suspicion. But if Dany is pregnant, this is going to force her to stay somewhere safe–like Winterfell–which will give her an opportunity to get to know the Starks. And over time I feel confident that the similarities between the two women would allow Sansa and Dany to get along quite well :)

iโ€™ve been thinking about this for two weeks now and i knowย i will never have the time to actually get this au done unless i wait likeโ€ฆ after i do two other multi-chapters (so like a year or two basically) but JUST HEAR ME OUT. long post. because do you really expect anything different from me at this point??? iโ€™ve thought the whole thing out. this is basically a story outline rather than a prompt. lakjfhlkhj. guys.

OUAT CS JUMANJI AU.

(Do I have your attention?)

Emma and Henry move into this old house on the outskirts of this sleepy little town, Storybrooke, so that they can be closer to the woman who helped Emma get back on her feet a decade prior, Mary Margaret, Henryโ€™s honorary aunt. The house is massive and could use some serious work but they got it dirt cheap because of some town myth that something terrible happened there to the original owners who lived there 200 years ago. Legend has it that there were strange, terrifying goings-on in the town for weeks, nothing anyone can prove though aside from some hokey old newspaper clippings hanging up in Grannyโ€™s Diner. Emma takes it all with a grain of salt. Henry thinks itโ€™s awesome.

They slowly settle in, unpacking very gradually. Emma and Mary Margaret spend a lot of time trying to clean up the dusty, cobwebbed mess of the long-closed house while Henry escapes to explore. He startles when he hears something odd. The sound leads him to the attic, which is still stocked with countless items from those who lived there prior, stuff he canโ€™t wait to dig into. But first he has to figure out what that noise is, and heโ€™s excited when he comes across a fancy, but worn, leather box that hasย โ€œOnce Upon A Timeโ€ scrawled across the top. The noises stop. Itโ€™s a board game. Definitely something he can get behind after all the work theyโ€™ve been doing to the house.

He takes the game downstairs to his mom and MM and begs them to take a break and play a little, and they relent. The game comes with vague sort of instructions, that whichever player reaches the end first wins, yada yada, maybe a reference to happily ever afters being harder to seize than one would think. So they start.

And things get. Crazy.

Iโ€™m talkingโ€ฆ beanstalks curling around the house and an ogre trying to break through and flying monkeys invading the town and fairies casting spells and magic beans opening portals and the Dark One coming after them.

And, of course, towards the beginning one of Emmaโ€™s rolls conjures a man from within the game. Itโ€™s Captain fucking Hook, or, as he explains to her, Killian Jones โ€“ the original owner of Emmaโ€™s home. The only reason Emma, Mary Margaret, and Henry survive as they do is because they have Killian to guide them through the chaos. Heโ€™s closed off, but opens up slowly as they go on, particularly to Emma.

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I'm Sorry- (Pt. 3) Bucky Barnes

Title: Iโ€™m Sorry

Summary: Reader and Bucky are together, but she notices him being a little off. She comes home to find him cheating.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Whole lot a of angst, make out?, some fluff ^_^

Part One | Part Two

โ€”โ€”โ€“

โ€œY/N?โ€

You looked at him with a hard glare. He walked towards you, his eye a deep shade of purple. โ€œNo.โ€ You looked behind you. Steve was standing up with an angry face. โ€œI can handle my own battles, Steve.โ€ You said looking at him. He looked at the floor and sat back down. The whole room was staring now.

โ€œPlease, I need to talk to you about what happened.โ€ Bucky pleaded with a sad look on his face. You considered it. Maybe heโ€™ll give some excuse. You sighed as you looked at the rest of the Avengers, all making dirty faces at Bucky. โ€œFine.โ€ You agreed as Bucky gave a sigh of relief.

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The X-Files MSR Analysis Series: Season 1 Episode 1

โ€œPilotโ€

I love so much about this episode, in fact, I havenโ€™t seen it in full in over a decade and watching it today I had the biggest grin plastered on my face.ย I was genuinely starting to worry it would be there for the whole 48 minutes. ย Even when kids are terrified and being murdered in the forest, I am still sitting there with a big goofy grin smacked on my face watching Mulder and Scully meeting and perfecting their eye sexing techniques for the first time.

Look at that sneaky smile of his, heโ€™s loving every minute of this.ย  This is smart people foreplay, Iโ€™m telling you.

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Norman Jayden always draws the shortest straw in Heavy Rain

Aka Heavy Rain is a dick to Norman Jayden

I know that Iโ€™m about five years too late to the party and that the Heavy Rain fandom seems pretty much dead by now, but I just need to get off my chest how badly Norman Jayden is treated in this game, more so than the other three playable characters imo and why.

Spoilers, obv.

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Dear x,

Dad let you come outside with me and Roll today. We couldn’t wander very far, but you really enjoyed seeing the outside world after being confined in the walls of the lab for so long. I remember how much your face lit up when the sunshine hit you for the first time. Roll found lots of flowers and you and her picked some. She gathered your favourite ones and put them in a clay pot in your room so you can see them even when you’re inside your capsule. We sat outside for a long time. You asked why the sun continuously got lower and lower, and once I explained the sunset you refused to go inside until you could experience it for yourself. But it was okay, me and Roll loved being there with you for the last time. Eventually we had to go back inside. We knew what was coming. I miss you so much already…I wish we had more time together. Dad had to seal you in the capsule after we came back inside. You kept crying…It all happened so fast. Dad programmed me with the ability to feel, and every emotion overwhelmed me all at once. I know he made a extremely significant upgrades to your ability to think and feel too, completely outmatching my own. I can’t even fathom what it was like for you…I hope that once your testing is complete, we can see the sunrise too.

Dear x,

Blues came to visit us today. He doesn’t come by much with his malfunctioning core and all. He still refuses to get help, I feel so far away from him. I think I’m making progress though, but he’s really hard to read. Wily’s plan for world dominations slowly get stupider and less severe the older he gets. Bass mentioned that he’s building a super robot like you. I’m very scared…even Bass was worried for what he could do. I hope that he doesn’t hurt you. Bass also told me that he could have free will on the same degree as you, so maybe he would rather be your friend than follow the path set for him by Wily? I’m worried. Apparently he isn’t done yet. I just hope that if he is bad, that he doesn’t outmatch you.

Speaking of Bass, he doesn’t really follow Wily anymore. He just kinda…does whatever he wants. He still constantly wants to battle me to prove he’s stronger though. I still win every time, but its become more of a aggressive competition than a matter of life or death. I’m really happy about that. It’s been about a year since you were sealed. 29 more to go…see you soon.

Dear x,

Today is mine and Roll’s birthday. Dad said we were turned on for the first time 16 years ago. Blues came too. He also told us that he started developing you 11 years ago. He’s getting really old…me and Roll are afraid of what will happen when he passes on. Blues’s core won’t last much longer, and dad gets sicker every day. Everything is falling apart. At least I’ll have Roll. Bass too, I guess.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I’m afraid that we’ll have to be scrapped or something. The government has very harsh and strict rules against robots, and they can’t live forever. Do we have a set date to die? I really want to see you again…

Dear x,

Dad can’t do much lately. He’s really out of it. Me and Roll have been taking care of him. Wily hasn’t done anything in a few years, so we haven’t had much to do. Bass stops by sometimes to fight me. At first we did, but now he just stops by to see how we’re doing. Blues comes by too. I like it when we’re all together. Bass told me that Wily stays up all night working on his prized robot. Seems like he’s putting all of his focus onto him and has given up on taking over the world for now. He’s around the same age as dad, so he won’t last much longer.

Dear x,

Blues’s core is finally being replaced today! I’ve convinced him to let me and Roll fix him. I’m so happy…I was very worried for what would happen in the future. I can’t remember whether you met him or not. I think you did, but if you didn’t, I know you’ll like him. It’s been about 4 years since you’ve been sealed. 26 more to go.

Dear x,

Dad died today. He really wanted to live long enough to see you. We all knew it would never happen. I wish I wasn’t programmed with emotions.

Dear x,

It has been really quiet since Dad passed. It’s a little bit better now. Roll has been very depressed. I’ve been helping her keep the house tidy. It’s been fine, but going into your room is…emotional. Roll hates going in there. She tries avoiding your capsule. But she always just sits there for a long time. It’s so lonely. If me and Roll get separated, I don’t know what I would do.

Dear x,

It’s been so long…Bass and Blues come by to keep me and Roll company. Wily passed on a long time ago. He sealed that robot away to emerge some time later in the future. I miss you so much. I don’t know how much longer I can live. Without dad here, I can’t be repaired. Blues taught me how to self-repair myself, but I’m not sure how much longer it will last. Me and Roll will break down eventually. I hope we can last long enough to see you again. I’ve been counting down the days until I can see you once more. 7,000 more days…20 years is a long time.

The Sun, the North Wind, and the Fanfic Writer

Once upon a time two fanfic readers decided to have a contest to see who could best influence a fanfic writer they both knew to write stories that would please them.

The first reader, the North Wind, said, “Well, I will simply tell the author that her work is crap when she produces something I don’t like. What I like is stories where the main characters are kangaroos. She never writes them as kangaroos, and she SHOULD. If I yell at her loudly enough and use nasty enough terminology, she will feel chastened by my reproaches and write stories which are more to my liking.”

The second reader, the Sun, said, “I will simply enjoy whatever the writer is producing. If I don’t like it, I know that I don’t have to read it. Sometimes I like what this author writes and sometimes I don’t. That’s all right. I know that she’s a busy person and writing stories for us as a hobby, and she doesn’t get anything out of it except for our feedback. I will be kind to her, and hope that she will write more stories of the sort that I like.”

“You fool!” scoffed the North Wind. “Everyone knows that hate is more persuasive! Besides, I feel that she owes me personally the stories that I want to read!”

“Well, you try that,” said the Sun. “But I will try it my way and we will see who wins.”

They waited and waited. The writer found herself a little busy with boring things that she was required to do, rather than the things which she preferred: naps and eating chocolate cake and writing fanfiction. Finally the Sun messaged the North Wind to her let know that the writer had posted a new story. The Sun knew this because she had subscribed to the writer’s page on ao3. The North Wind did not care to show any sort of support, based on her mixed feelings about the writer’s stories, so she had not received the email. The Sun kindly also sent a link, and they both read the story.

The North Wind did not care for the story. The writer had utterly failed to pay attention to the latest trends of character interpretation according to the North Wind’s tumblr dashboard, and had interpreted the characters just as she saw them herself. Worst of all, she did not write them as kangaroos. The North Wind found this to be completely unacceptable, and said so. The North Wind had an account on ao3, but preferred to remain anonymous. “You are terrible!” she commented, using a name other than her own, and an email address that would connect no one to her true self. “You don’t write the characters precisely as I see them and you are therefore untalented and BAD! I hate you and think you should die! Write stories that cater to my every whim or else don’t write at all, you utter hack! Don’t you know that you should write these characters as kangaroos? It’s the only thing that makes sense to any rational mind!”

The writer wrote back and said, “Thank you for having read my story. According to my personal interpretation, this is how these characters would behave. However, you don’t have to read my stories. There’s no need to be so nasty.”

The North Wind copied this response and sent it to the Sun, saying, “Can you believe this??? I will NEVER read her stories again!”

“You always say that,” the Sun said mildly. “And yet you always read her stories. I wonder why.”

The Sun had quite liked the story, and decided to say so. She even wondered if the writer might be feeling a little badly over the North Wind’s angry comments, so she made sure to leave kudos, a bookmark – she had particularly liked the scene with the first kiss and knew that she would want to come back to it – and also left a comment. She commented about the things which she had liked, and asked the author a question about something which she personally had a slightly different opinion on. The writer responded and they had a pleasant conversation about it. The Sun wasn’t entirely convinced to change her own opinion, but understood the writer’s point of view and they ended their conversation amicably.

There was another time when the writer had written something which the Sun did not care for at all. There was a major character death and the Sun cried for days. She could appreciate the form and quality of the writing, but wasn’t sure she knew what to say, so in the end, she never left a comment. She always felt a bit guilty, but when she mentioned it to the writer, it turned out that the writer didn’t mind at all. “Not everyone will like everything I write,” she said cheerfully. “But that’s just the way it goes. I will just keep writing my own stories and hope for the best.”

The Sun thought that was very sensible. Over the years, she and the writer came to know one another a little bit through the conversations they had in comments on the writer’s stories. One day the Sun ventured to ask how the writer felt about the pressure from people like the North Wind to write the characters as kangaroos.

“The characters are not kangaroos in the canon,” the writer said cautiously.

“No, they’re not, but people really like kangaroo fic,” the Sun said, timidly, not wanting to pressure the writer. “People might like your stories even more if you wrote the characters as kangaroos.”

“The characters are not kangaroos in the canon,” the writer repeated, a little more firmly. “I will write them as they are in the canon.”

The Sun accepted this. She realised then that no one would “win” the contest of influence: the writer was simply going to write the stories that she wanted to write, according to her own interpretation. The Sun decided that this was just fine. She continued to read the writer’s stories and they continued to have a good relationship. She noticed that when the writer was happy, she tended to produce more stories, and more quickly. The Sun tried to make the writer happier by leaving kind comments on the stories that she enjoyed. Sometimes the writer wrote stories that the Sun liked more than the others, and sometimes she wrote stories that the Sun liked less than the others. These stories did not lessen the Sun’s opinions of the writer. She was still able to see that, while the writer had made some choices for the characters that she herself didn’t care for, the stories were nonetheless well-crafted and diligently written. And thus, she and the writer became friends and remained so for years. They were both happy.

The North Wind continued to badger the writer for kangaroo stories, particularly ones involving baby kangaroos.

She never got her wish.

The End.

*****

With apologies to the people behind Aesop’s Fables! *sheepish smile*

  • hinata: I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing nin. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Naruto Uzumaki took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime. To fake a convincing murder you have to have discipline. You befriend a local idiot. Harvest the details of her hundrum life and cram her with stories about your husband's violent temper. Secretly create some money troubles: credit cards, perhaps online gambling. With the help of the unwitting, bump up your life insurance. Purchase getaway car. Craigslist. Generic. Cheap. Pay cash. You need to package yourself so that people will truly mourn your loss. And Konoha loves pregnant women. As if it's so hard to spread your legs. You know what's hard? Faking a pregnancy. First, drain your toilet. Invite pregnant idiot into your home and ply her with lemonade. Steal pregnant idiot's urine. Voilà! A pregnancy is now part of your legal medical record. Happy Anniversary. Wait for your clueless husband to start his day. Off he goes... and the clock is ticking. Meticulously stage your crime scene with just enough mistakes to raise the specter of doubt. You need to bleed. A lot. A lot, a lot. The head wound kind of bleed. A crime scene kind of bleed. You need to clean; poorly, like he would. Clean and bleed, bleed and clean. And leave a Little something behind: a fire in July? And because you're you, you don't stop there. You need a diary. Mínimum three hundred entries on the Naruto and Hinata story. Start with the fairy-tale early days: those are true, and they're crucial. You want Naruto and Hinata to be likable. After that, you invent. The spending, the abuse, the fear, the threat of violence. And Naruto thought he was the hokage… burn it, just the right amount. Make sure the cops will find it. Finally, honor tradition with a very special treasure hunt. And if I get everything right, the world will hate Naruto for killing his beautiful, pregnant wife. And after all the outrage, when I'm ready, I'll go out on the water with a handful of pills and a pocket full of stones. And when they find my body, they'll know: Naruto Uzumaki dumped his beloved like garbage, and she floated past all the other abused, unwanted, inconvenient women. Then Naruto will die too. Naruto and Hinata will be gone, but then we never really existed. Naruto loved a girl I was pretending to be. "Cool girl". Men always use that, don't they? As their defining compliment: "She's a cool girl". Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner. And then presents her mouth for fucking. She likes what he likes, so evidently he's a vinyl hipster who loves fetish Manga. If he likes girls gone wild, she's a mall babe who talks for football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters. When I met Naruto Uzumaki I knew he wanted "Cool girl". And for him, I'll admit: I was willing to try. I wax-stripped my pussy raw. I drank canned beer watching Icha-Icha movies. I ate cold ramen and remained a size two. I blew him, semi-regularly. I lived in the moment. I was fucking game. I can't say I didn't enjoy some of it. Naruto teased out in me things I didn't know existed. A lightness, a humor, an ease. But I made him smarter. Sharper. I inspired him to rise to my level. I forged the man of my dreams. We were happy pretending to be other people. We were the happiest couple we knew. And what's the point of being together if you're not the happiest? But Naruto got lazy. He became someone I did not agree to marry. He actually expected me to love him unconditionally. Then he dragged me, penniless, to the navel of this great country and found himself a newer, younger, bouncier cool guy. You think I'd let him destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. He doesn't get to win. My cute, charming, salt-of-the-earth Konoha guy. He needed to learn. Grown-ups work for things. Grown-ups pay. Grown-ups suffer consequences.
As Long As I’m With You

I wrote this at work when I was insanely bored. I just got to thinking of our precious Fire baby and how we never get to see his thoughts. This may be deeper than he is canon-wise.. yet I think it’s not because he is actually very mature, we just don’t get to see it because he is very carefree and laid back. But I hope you do enjoy this :)

Summary: It’s always more fun when we’re together. One of the most powerful things that Lucy has ever said to Natsu. But how did Natsu take it? What were his thoughts on it? After their experience with the Eclipse Gate at the GMG, he really starts to wonder…


Natsu stared across the guild hall. He was sitting alone at the bar one rainy day, most of the members had already left for the evening.

There hadn’t been much excitement throughout the day either. Laxus and the Thunder Legion were out on a job, Gray had given up and finally let Juvia cook dinner for him, Erza had decided to stay home for the dad and reassess her armor, and then Lucy said she was tired from their last job and planned on staying home for a few days.

He sighed heavily, laying his head on the bar. He could have just gone out with Happy on a small job… But…

“It’s always more fun when we’re together.”

It had been a while since she had uttered those words on Tenrou Island. They had just got home to their new guild hall after their win in the Grand Magic Games a few days ago, after all.

“What did she mean by that?!” Natsu squeezed his eyes shit. He was at a lost.

Looking over at her again, he smiled behind the folds of his scarf. Lucy and Levy were excitingly talking about a book they both read, Lucy’s whole face lit up, it was adorable.

He furiously scratched his head, he didn’t know what to do now!

“Natsu, what are you doing?” Happy put his fish in his lap to stare at his friend. He had been watching Natsu for a while now; he would look at Lucy, put his head down, act all weird and put his head back down. Then look at her again and start over.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re acting weirder than Lucy.”

“I am not,” he groaned, trying to keep the goofy grin off his face, “she’s the weirdest person we know.”

“Whatever you say,” the blue feline was done with the conversation, he happily dug back into his meal.

Natsu hummed before he glanced over to Lucy yet again. She said that in the midst of battle, her head was being crushed by that insane sumo… yet she wouldn’t run.

Natsu had ever had so much respect for one person than in that moment.

And then after that, he watched her die…

Well, not her. Her future self. But it was still Lucy. He watched the life drain out of her eyes. It could have easily been his Lucy that was hit.

His Lucy… he buried his head in his arms. She wasn’t his. She never would be. He was her best friend and partner. That’s all he’d ever be.

“Here you go,” the beautiful white-haired bar maid set down a tankard of Fire Whiskey in front of the dragonslayer.

“Thanks!” he grabbed it and immediately guzzled it down.

“My, my. Calm down, sweetie,” Mira watched Natsu for a moment, “Are you OK? You’ve seemed a little down today.”

“Uh… I’m good!” He grinned sloppily, raising the drink back up so she wouldn’t bother him with more questions he didn’t have answers to.

Mira didn’t seem convinced, but she smiled and walked away.

“You lied to her,” Happy whispered.

“I ain’t lying!” Natsu growled, spilling a bit of the fire, “Nothing’s wrong!”

“Sure, ya dummy,” Happy’s white wings shot out and he flew over to Wendy and Carla who were leaving the guild. He tried to share his fish with Carla but to no avail.

“I’m fine,” Natsu rested his hands on either side of his drink, “I'm… fine…”

But one more look at the blonde Celestial Wizard told him he was dead wrong.

What was wrong with him?

He realized on Tenrou Island that he cared about her more than a friend and he had no idea how to handle that.

He realized during the GMG that he couldn’t live without her and really had no idea about dealing with that.

And now… he was afraid he’d never get to tell her. Because he wasn’t what she was looking for. He was the furthest thing from a nice, intelligent, well read, quiet, princely type of guy she told Levy she was attracted too.

He could protect her and provide for her… but could he make her happy? He thought he did a pretty good job of that for a long time, but his oversensitive hearing debunked that idea. He wasn’t even sure if Lucy was physically attracted to him at all… Not that it mattered. But he was always kinda half naked and she never seemed bothered by it. He always freaked out when she was naked, but he hid it well enough to fool everyone. It wouldn’t be fair if she wasn’t effected either!

So… what do I do with these feelings?” he asked himself, raising his hand to pull on his scarf, wishing for the millionth time Igneel was here to help, “I don’t want them to go away.”

He stood from his bar stool and headed over to her table. She may not feel the same, but that was OK. She was his friend first, no matter what. And for now, that was enough. Plus, he made it his personal goal in life to keep her safe. There was no way anyone was going to hurt her while he was still breathing.

That’s why in a few weeks, when he left after the battle with Tartaros, she would be the only one to get a proper goodbye from him. He was leaving to become stronger, so he would be able to protect her.

But he didn’t know that the dark guild was getting ready to attack. He didn’t know he was about to have another run-in with Zeref, or learn about END…

Right now he was just a member of the strongest guild in Fiore. And he believed he had all the time in the world to spend with Lucy.

Grinning, he ran the last few steps to her and threw his arms around her, “LUCYYY!”

“Gah! Natsu! What are you doing?”

“I’m bored, let’s go do something!”

“I told you I’m not going on a job for a few days.”

“I didn’t say let’s take a job. I said let’s do something. Let’s go to your house and play games!”

“I don’t want to play games, I’m talking to Levy.”

“But I’m boredddd!” he held on tighter to the blonde, not noticing how pink her cheeks were at the contact.

“I am not going to go home just because you’re bored! Go to your own house and do something with Happy.”

“Happy went home with Wendy and Carla. Guess I’ll go see what kind of food you have…”

“Wait! Don’t go to my apartment without me!”

anonymous asked:

hc's for the paladins + allura & coran with an s/o who's really emotional like, to the point where they get teary-eyed just being told something nice or seeing someone looking a little nicer than usual

(Tears? Oh, yeah, that’s Mod Awk’s job! ~Mod Saffron)

*KICKS DOWN A DOOR* HELLO, MOD AWKWARD IS NOT DEAD, ONLY DEAD ON THE INSIDE. ITS FINALS WEEK I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING MIA, IM MORE STRESS THAN I AM HUMAN. 

But it’s true, I’m a huge crybaby. I burst into tears every time I see something cute.

Don’t even get me started on what happened at my surprise birthday party. I cried for an hour straight, and then got drunk and cried some more. Ah, good times…

~Mod Awkward


Shiro

  • Judging by how Shiro’s seen you tear up every time you win a tough battle, it doesn’t come as a shock to him when he confesses he likes you and you start sniffling into his shoulder
  • As a leader, he’s supposed to maintain a level head at all times and be there to support the rest of the team when they’re down on their luck, so he doesn’t have the liberty to cry or really express his emotions
  • He finds that you tend to externally express what he feels on the inside, and its almost like you compensate for the emotions he has to suppress for the sake of the team
  • You remind Shiro that a good leader is in tune with his own feelings, and that he shouldn’t be afraid of opening up to the others 

Keith

  • Keith.exe has stopped working
  • It catches him so off guard the first time when he whispers you’re amazing and you burst into tears
  • Has he done something wrong?? why are you crying??
  • You have to calm him down and explain that no, he didn’t upset you, you’re just so happy that you can’t stop crying
  • It takes him some time to see you overwhelmed with emotion every time he compliments you or every time he tries to show off this new sword technique he mastered
  • But he grows to find it endearing and will always be there to gently wipe away your tears, whether they be tears of joy or sadness

Lance

  • His heart swells every time he sees your eyes gloss over
  • Lance considers crying in front of someone else a very intimate act so having you feel comfortable enough to not try and hide your tears of joy around him tells Lance just how much you trust him 
  • He makes note to remember which compliments make you tear up and which ones don’t to use for when you’re having a bad day
  • He thinks it’s your most distinct quality, you wouldn’t be you without it 
  • You wear your heart on your sleeve and he admires that about you, it’s not an easy thing to do, and you’ve managed to turn something that is often considered a weakness into a strength

Hunk

  • Hunk thinks the emotional side of you is absolutely adorable
  • Your big heart is what makes you a kind, and selfless individual and it’s what he loves most about you
  • You’re too precious for this world
  • He feels like it makes reunions more meaningful, and you never fail to bring life to the room when you’re together
  • Heck, Hunk is on the emotional side himself, so he’s probably right there getting teary-eyed along with you

Pidge

  • Pidge had absolutely no clue until she tried to surprise you with an alien puppy she had found on their last mission
  • Can you imagine the shock when you ask to hold him and she sees tears form in the corner of your eyes? 
  • At first she starts panicking, thinking the puppy bit you, but when you choke out that he’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen it clicks that you’re crying from a cuteness overload
  • She might poke fun of your emotional side occasionally but it’s her way of telling you she hopes you never change

Allura

  • Allura is in a similar position to Shiro as the pilot of the Castle of Lions, and therefore often has to choke back her own emotions so as to not to worry the rest of the team
  • Part of the reason why she trusts you so much is because you’re never scared to show your own emotions
  • You remind her a bit of her father and his gentle, caring nature, and so being in your arms makes her feel safe and warm
  • She trusts you with everything and you two will often stay up late into the night talking about anything that’s on your minds

Coran

  • He hears you sniffling and immediately moves to comfort you but you shake your head
  • He’s confused, aren’t you upset??
  • You admit that you never took the time to actually admire the architecture of the castle and it just hit you how overwhelming gorgeous it is
  • Coran’s relieved but he will flat out admit that he’s terrible at telling the difference between happy and sad tears welp
  • You laugh and tell him don’t worry, being around you will give him plenty of practice

thenerdyunhealthybrit  asked:

Not trying to be rude of anything, but with Dair, do you ignore the ending to ship them? I mean, when I watched Gossip Girl I thought Chair had great chemistry (despite being a toxic ship) and I loved the Dair friendship and was rooting for them, but then Dan is revealed to be Gossip Girl (which everyone agrees, doesn't make sense) and so basically he's be targeting Blair and all these people for 6 years (including his sister). Do you ignore the ending to ship Dair?

Oh, you’re not being rude at all, don’t worry. 

I mean I guess I ignore it lmao? If you can even call season six an ending. The ending makes no sense at all, it’s so ridiculous. There are so many instances in which Dan couldn’t have been gossip girl. It’s literally impossible. Gossip Girl posted awful things about Dan on the daily. Why would he post bad things about himself? Dan literally reacted to every Gossip Girl post, even in private. Why would he react to something he posted? Not to mention all the times when he couldn’t have posted a post, the times when he received a post along with everyone else. And Dan being gossip girl was also so out of character, it literally goes against everything his character stood for, it went against 6 seasons of canon development. Dan spent the majority of the show trying to do the right thing and be a better guy. He always tried to do right by his family and friends. Like that time when Jenny sent that tip in about her losing her virginity to Asher in season 1, he was so upset because he didn’t want her to exploit herself like that. Or when he thought Juliet was up to something and wanted to find out what it was. People always tend to blame Dan for being Gossip Girl. They tend to act like he’s the villain. They tend to say that he’s a sociopath but it’s like no? The whole point of the identity of Gossip Girl was that it was never any one character, it was always supposed to be unknown. It was never supposed to be revealed. Dan being Gossip Girl is something that the writers pulled out of their asses at the last minute because they realized that their attempted rapist of a male lead was more of a villain than a protagonist and that he was way past redemption. It was literally a pathetic attempt to try and villainize Dan and glorify Chuck. Dan wasn’t perfect, he had his flaws. He was judgmental and he tended to criticize and idealize people but he wasn’t a villain. He worked hard and he studied hard. He tried his best to fit in. He was a protective friend and brother. And he was always there for his friends. Canon Dan Humphrey would never be Gossip Girl. And you know if we are really going to take everything that is canon as law then I guess Blair married a murdering rapist. Oh wait, but Chuck grew up without his parents so that doesn’t really count MY BAD.


And you know the entirety of season six is a pretty terrible mess imo. The plot is ridiculous and there is so much character assassination. Suddenly Blair is choosing Chuck over Dan when it was so clear that she seemed to have finally moved on from him. Blair was in a loving, healthy, supporting relationship. It finally seemed like she was moving on from her past relationships. We literally saw her happier when she was with Dan than she had been in so long, like I couldn’t even remember the last time she was that happy? She was so much more herself too, it seemed like she was on the path to finally becoming the strong, ambitious woman she always was but had forgotten about lately. But then she decided to throw it all away to be in a relationship that has never seemed to work out. A relationship that was so unhealthy. Blair is suddenly giving up her entire career and putting all her time into trying to help Chuck so that they can ‘one day’ finally be together. Blair reverted back to her season 2 self, she became immature and petty. Like where’s the girl that worked her ass off to get an internship she desperately wanted in season 4? Where’s the intelligent, strong dictator of taste? And it’s the same with Serena, she’s leaving New York the same way she did 5 years ago as if she learned nothing. She’s sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend exactly like she did 5 years ago. And Serena and Blair are fighting about stupid, petty things like they are 15 years old again. Dan is suddenly getting back together with Serena even though he was in love with her best friend for a year, even though he chose her best friend over her multiple times. Nate is having the same money problems that his dad had and Chuck is trying to win back a company he never knew how to run in the first place. And then there’s the fact that they all ended up like their parents. Like there’s literally a line in the pilot where Nate says something along the lines of “don’t you ever worry that we might end up exactly like our parents?”. And guess what? That’s exactly what happens. Nate who never finished college and never wanted to go into politics is suddenly running for mayor?? Blair is running her mother’s company, a company that she has never wanted to run (and she says this multiple times throughout the show), a company that she isn’t even equipped to run. Serena is a mindless socialite like her mom. Chuck is running his father’s company. And Dan becomes a trophy husband.


I will admit the very first time I ever watched this show I loved chair. Seriously I shipped them so hard. And I do agree that they had amazing chemistry and an interesting dynamic. But as time went on the ship just went downhill. Honestly it just got harder and harder for me to ship them. I couldn’t ship chair after Chuck sold her for a hotel and vowed to destroy her life and just did a million other things that were just so awful. The relationship became toxic and abusive and unhealthy and I no longer loved it the way I once did. I think it even took me rewatching and analyzing the show to realize the unhealthy aspects of chair in seasons 1 & 2. Dan and Blair was something wonderful that came as almost a surprise. They formed a friendship and quickly became each other’s best friends and confidantes. They stimulated and challenged each other. They brought out the best in each other and they were good for each other. There was so much character development and build up. He loved her so much and she was so content. And their entire relationship was based on friendship. I kind of just fell in love with them. When Blair chose Chuck instead of Dan I was angry and heartbroken. As I stated before it didn’t make any sense that she would choose to be with someone that made her feel unhappy and vulnerable. The only explanation that I can come up with for what happened is that the writers ruined them. Up until their break up they were written well, well enough to be endgame. Dan and Blair had a beautiful journey. They went from enemies to friends to best friends to lovers; they were the very definition of relationship development. They found each other, they found love in each other. But the writers decided to ruin them because I guess everyone is just supposed to end up with their high school sweetheart.


And anyway, when it comes to whether the ending bothers me, I will say that 90% of the ships I ship have disasterous ends and aren’t endgame. But does that matter? Is that any reason not to ship them? I still enjoy them and love them and ship them. I still enjoy their chemistry and their interactions and their dynamic. I still enjoy their moments and their build up and their overall love story. I still love a lot of ships even after they end. Sometimes it’s not about the ending but about THE STORY. We don’t read things or watch things for the ending, we watch them or read them for the story.