i'm just posting a lot of these now because i'm bored sigh

I’m trying to narrate this cliche-filled story and it’s just descended into the narrator being sarcastic and critical about everything that happens. Like… 

“And then that asshole walked in. And of course HE’S the protagonist. Heaven forbid we have some LIKABLE person being the hero, but noooo. Mr. Boring McCrustyFuck over here had to be the one with the Special Power.”

“I can think of THREE characters better suited for Protagonist because they, oh, I don’t know, have EXPERIENCE with this stuff? Nah, those characters will probably just help him get the basics of his Special Power. Then he’ll surpass them and beat the guy they couldn’t even beat. Because story logic.”

“Apparently I have to use his actual name because Mr. Boring McCrustyFuck is considered ‘an inappropriate name’ and I ‘have to present myself as a professional’ and that name doesn’t do it.”  

“And then he turned his face, and there she was… Boring Female Love Interest… I mean Caedence. She isn’t like other girls… her name is always underlined in red when you type it. She also knows what a Star War is.”

“Well isn’t CAEDENCE just a sassy lassie. I bet there’ll be NO SEXUAL TENSION WHATSOEVER. A narrator can hope, can’t they?”  

“I swear if they kiss, I’ll walk out right now. Don’t you dare- you barely even know each other and- annnnd they’re kissing. Well, I’m out. I’m done. That’s it. Bye.”

[a large blank space follows]

“Well, I guess I’m not allowed to walk out on narrating after I start. That’s messed up- they’d better be paying me extra for having to sit through this because $5.50 a chapter just isn’t enough.”

“Cue a very audible sigh from the narrator.”

“Oh no… the father figure died… How could I have not seen this… Oh no… and after such a heart warming talk about his dead wife or something… Oh no…”

“So instead of talking about how they’re having sex I thought I’d take this time to explain why cats aren’t actually devil creatures and are simply not naturally social creatures, unlike the dog.” 

“Wow… in that tuxedo, he looks so different! Like… like that one actor… y’know? The one with white skin, blue eyes, brown hair, and a little bit of stubble? Oh wait… that’s literally most of them. I guess that means there’ll be a lot to choose from when they come up with the movie adaption.” 

“God, I can picture online discourse now. “You see, this is why [character with the personality of a moldy cardboard box] should date the protagonist instead of [well-rounded character with good chemistry who also happens to be of color]. I’ve only really pictured them as friends…” Ok, Im-not-a-racist-heres-why-69.” 

“DAMN IT! There was a perfect opportunity to make an obscure 80s reference a few chapters back and I missed it!” 

“Far be it from me, the narrator, to not talk about how soft her blonde hair was, but I got bored after they started kissing for like, the third time in the last few chapters.”

“Ok WHO told the manager I’m still calling him Mr. Boring McCrustyFuck?” 

“And then he sprinted across the battlefield, like an idiot. What was he thinking? “Sure, my love just collapsed on the ground, but l bet if I ran across this battlefield with people trying to literally turn me into ash and cried over their corpse it’ll bring them back. Or I’ll think of their dying face in my crucial moment when I’m fighting the bad guy so I fight harder. Great idea!”  But, you know, he lived ‘cuz he’s the protagonist. It was rather disappointing.”

“And then he started monologuing and it got too hard for me to keep up. So uh… just… imagine a villain talking about how he’s gonna make the world a better place by killing everyone he didn’t understand.”

“Thank GOD the story is over. Cue the beautiful music! I’m getting my money and then I’m gonna bounce. I need a drink.” 

“Who is the author? I’m gonna fight the author. Oh, I’M the author? … I’m still gonna fight the author.” 

anonymous asked:

Hey Hey! So any tips on how to write Levi in fanfiction as close to cannon as possible without ruining his prominent characteristics? I'm in the process of creating a fic that is Levi centric and honestly I'm slightly paranoid of the whole thing ;_;

Ahh this is a complicated question with a complicated answer lol. 

There are three things I think can most definitely help you out when it comes to keeping Levi as close to his canon personality as possible while writing him in a fanfic which contains scenarios that we would never actually see happen in canon. 

Number one being murder 90% of the FANon character tropes you think of when it comes to Levi in fanfic with fire. Try not to go overboard when it comes to those. Certain canon tropes need to be present, like his preference for extreme cleanliness and his insomnia bouts but, a lot of his tropes you can forfeit. Examples being:

  • “Tch. Brat.”
  • “Shitty Brat”
  • Basically overusing “Brat.”
  • Making him out to be a total asshole
  • Making him out to be an abusive POS who kicks puppies in his free time
  • Portraying him as overly angry

Things of this nature. I have seen this done WAYYYYYY too many times, and truthfully, it’s really not accurate to his character. Sure, him saying brat happens in the manga like, maybe three times but, don’t turn it into an overly used pet name. I promise you’ll throw 90% of your readers off if you do. 

Number two is when you write Levi, Keep his dialogue pretty blunt and to the point or round-about and vague DEPENDING ON WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT AND HOW FAR INTO THE FIC YOU ARE WITH HIS DEVELOPEMENT. Case in point:

  • Witty comback - Blunt
  • Expressing feelings - Vague
  • Response to a basic question - Blunt
  • Response to an insanely personal question - Vague
  • Insults - Blunt
  • Compliments - Vague and hard to understand

Obviously you should evolve this as the story moves but, just try to keep the flow natural. Also, when it comes to vague responses, try to write his body language in express detail. Don’t go overboard with this either because if you do, you can end up making your story a bit boring to read. Simply add sensory details that help emphasize what Levi is thinking, trying to say, etc. Plus, try to write his thoughts as well. I’m going to take a exert from one of my fics here to use as an example:

Levi sighed heavily. Pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut tightly while muttering a quiet curse under his breath. Now it was your turn to be baffled. Did he honestly not remember meeting Mike more than once? Or was he putting on a show? Lying to you yet again and keeping whatever secrets he did have close to his chest. The thought put you even more on edge. Though, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t idling on the fence with your stance on the matter. If Levi really was putting on a show, it was an Oscar winning performance. He was more than a little convincing and knowing Levi as well as you think you did; you were pretty sure he was a shitty liar.

“How in the hell could you forget meeting Mike more than once?! The man is 6'5 and built like a brick shit house. He may not talk a lot but, he’s next to impossible to forget.”

Levi sighed again. Opening his eyes to look at you in mild defeat while lifting his hands and shrugging his shoulders as his only form of an answer. It was clear he was just as frustrated by it as you, but it was also quite clear that Levi had an idea as to why and how that would be possible. The bob of his adam’s apple as he swallowed hard and the tapping of his fingers against his knee spoke loud enough for you to register that much. He wanted to tell you something but, he didn’t at the same time. All of this secrecy was getting on your last nerve.

The small details in his body language can really add emphasis on what he’s feeling and so on. I understand that this can be hard to do in a lot of situations involving him as a character but, the more you practice; the easier it becomes. Plus, it definitely helps keep him in character considering he is one to use body language more than words and dialogue for him can be a BITCHHHHHH to write. Writing details like this can definitely save you a lot of headache when trying to figure out what he’d say because a lot of the time; he wouldn’t actually say much.

The third thing is, if you get hung up trying to think of how Levi would react, speak, carry himself, etc, in a certain situation and for the life of you, you cannot figure it out; REREAD MANGA CHAPTERS WITH HIM IN THEM OR REWATCH ANIME SCENES WITH HIM PRESENT. 

It helps, I promise. Specifically pay attention to him. See his expressions and the way his speaks to people in canon situations and then try to morph it or see if it relates in anyway to what you are trying to portray. I cannot tell you how many times this has point blank revived entire chapters for me that I almost gave up on and rewrote. 

And finally, if you ever get to a point in your fic where you want an outside opinion; HIT ME UP I WILL HAPPILY READ IT AND GIVE YOU FEEDBACK :) 

I hope this helps even just a little bit, anon. Happy writing and good luck to you. I know how hard Levi is to write but, he is also sooooooo much fun to write too.

anonymous asked:

I'm sending this to both Soobaki and Caramelcheese because I want both of your opinions. I've read the meta on how S2 could be somewhat saved if they did this or that, but what do you honestly think S2 will be like? Do you think the next story could turn out *decently* despite S1's plot holes? That the writing will remain poor for popularity's sake, or go back up? Like, what are you expecting from S2 after everything that happened, good and bad? I love all your analyses, so I'm very curious!

Well, I’ve talked with @soobaki about this a lot. And I’m probably going to echo her answer (x)

After episode 12 and after all the post-finale interviews I’ve seen…I don’t know. I don’t know what to expect. I had complete trust in the writing before the finale happened and they did what they did. There’s also the fact that we’re moving from a project fueled only by love to one fueled by massive popularity and absurd amounts of cash. Best case scenario, the only thing this affects is giving the series a bigger budget and a better animation, on par with ep1 of the first season. Worst case scenario, more pandering to the fandom, narrative structure and character arcs be damned. 

Realistically, we’re in for some angst. I talked about it a bit here (x). But…YOI is a lighthearted show. It’s meant to be happy and full of wish-fulfillment unless you’re Yuuri in which case enjoy your silver and try harder. The staff is also hellbent on selling the lies story about how the finale was planned from the start and that Victor and Yuuri are 100% perfect with no problems, so there will be no acknowledgement of Victor’s decision being a 180º from episode 10 and there will be no acknowledgement of Victor and Yuuri needing The Talk. So narrative consistency be damned. Which I’m conflicted about. On the one hand I’m tired and disappointed, on the other hand I do want to see Yuuri and Victor be happy…*longest sigh in the world*

I’m particularly worried by the implication of further more seasons, as in plural, for various reasons…

There’s the matter of the skating itself. The season isn’t over, so if we stay in the current skating season the main event of s2 could be Four Continents or Worlds. Skip the nationals, which both Yuuri and Victor sweep, respectively, and jump right into one of the other two. Alternatively, trying to keep a minimum of realism, Victor doesn’t compete in the Russian nationals, because he only has two weeks to practice and come up with two new programs, but since he’s Victor Nikiforov he’s allowed to move on directly to other championships.

The problem with going Four Continents route is that Victor and Yurio can’t compete in those. While that could fix the problem/ridiculousness of Victor both coaching and competing against Yuuri at the same time, it would be putting two of our three main characters out of the game and we can’t have that. So most likely it will be Worlds.

Another problem though, is that every single character would be using the same programs. We would only get new ones from Victor. This is a problem because
1) the narrative purpose of the programs has basically run its course except for Yuuri’s because he was robbed 
2) there is a chance of the audience growing bored of watching the same programs for another entire 12 episodes.
One way to fix this would be to reanimate the programs. Have them up to ep1′s Stammi Vicino levels quality, with different angles and camera movements and proper cinematography and animation. Another would be to focus less on the skating itself and more on developing characters and relationships outside of skating. Not just our main trio, but all the secondary characters we’ve only briefly met. 

If they decide to skip ahead to the next season we would have to go through the Grand Prix process all over again and this has the same problem of potentially feeling repetitive for the audience. Though in this case we would have the advantage of new programs and new characters.

They’re probably saving 2018 Olympics for a third season. Or a movie. Please don’t let that be the only time Yuuri wins gold but do have him win gold there for the love of God

But what I actually expect from s2 at this point, ok, let’s go (pretty much paraphrasing @soobaki here though):

  • Victor retcon. It’s a must to keep this “he was never going to retire” sham. 
  • Injury storyline. I can feel it. Kubo even said that it would have happened to Victor in s1 if the anime was longer than just those 12 episodes, and it is now (x) It will hit either Victor or Yurio although with Yuuri’s luck might as well be him awww Yuuri you didn’t win gold AGAIN we need to do a season 3
  • Makkachin is old…It was mentioned in an interview that part of the reason Victor took the season off was to be with Makkachin during what might be their last year so why are you going back NOW Victor???? So…high chances that Makkachin passes away and Victuuri get a new puppy 
  • Puberty finally catches up to Yurio
  • The coach/competitor double-time is going to affect Victor and the relationship with Yuuri. Balancing the act will be one of the main conflicts of the season
A Green and Yellow Basket

On AO3!

This is for @katchyalater because she is amazing and I’ve been bothering her with my Gilmore Girls marathoning for literally months.


“Here, look at this,” Raven says as she flips her laptop around. “What do you think?”

Clarke had just sat back down in her chair at the small table in Raven’s kitchen after refilling their snack bowl. They got together every Wednesday night for a “girl’s night” which usually consisted of Raven shit talking about her customers at the garage and Clarke shit talking about her patients at the clinic. Occasionally they’d pop in a movie with some eye candy but that just led to shit talking about sexism in Hollywood. All while eating junk food of course. Girl’s night really was a hump day treat.

Now, Clarke glances at the computer screen and zeros in on the picture of… her? Which looks an awful lot like it’s from the town New Year’s party. “I think that picture is 4 months old,” is her first response before her eyes narrow as she takes in the rest of the page. “Is that a dating profile?”

“It might be,” Raven answers, not even sounding the least bit guilty about it.

Clarke waits a beat, staring at her friend across the table to see if she will elaborate but, as usual, it doesn’t look like she is. “And why do you have a dating profile for me on your computer.”

Raven just rolls her eyes as she turns the computer back around to face her, “Because I set it up, duh.” She finishes off her beer and stands up to get another out of the fridge.

“Raven!” Clarke scrambles for the computer and drags it closer to her.

“Hey,” Raven says as she pops the top off her new bottle, “even your mom thought it was a good idea.”

That makes Clarke pause and tear her eyes away from the screen to stare, wide-eyed, at her friend, “What?”

“Your mom and I were discussing-”

“Ok, for the record it weirds me out that you’re friends with my mom but it weirds me out even more that you guys discuss me and my love life.”

“Or lack thereof,” Raven mumbles into her bottle.

“What was that?” Clarke snapped.

Raven clears her throat and straightens up from her leaning position against the counter, “Like I was saying, your mom and I think it’s been far too long since you’ve been interested in someone let alone out on a date.”

“Completely my business but sure,” Clarke grumbles as she takes a swig of her own beer. She is definitely going to need more alcohol if she’s going to be able to deal with this.

“And we think this would be a good way to meet people,” Raven continues as if Clarke hadn’t interrupted. “Jump into the 21st century of dating.”

“I meet plenty of people.” Clarke has taken to glaring at the computer screen now. The cursor is hovering over the messages link on her profile which, according to the “Joined!” date, looks like it was set up three weeks ago. Her profile has 500 likes and close to 100 messages.

“When? You’re either working, hanging out with me, or hanging out with Bellamy,” Raven counters, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“And the opportunity to meet people has presented itself in all of those circumstances,” Clarke shrugs and gets up from the table to go sit in the couch. Ok fine, she’s mildly curious about her matches and staring at the cursor wasn’t helping. But meeting people this way just seems unnatural. Sure it works for some people but it doesn’t feel like something that would work for her. Plus she doesn’t want to give Raven the satisfaction.

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a DoflaCroc that was almost entirely self-serving, so I hope yall don’t mind

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