i'm just having a terrible night

anonymous asked:

So... why do you think Bokuto wears thigh highs? Personally I think it's cuz his thighs are too powerful for regular knee pads :3c

That’s a good and pure headcanon, my love, I approve it 100%

If you want a serious reply, I think that the thigh high knee pads go along with the “basketball” aesthetic that surrounds Bokuto. And long kneepads are really really popular in basketball.

The biggest clue of this is the number he wears, the 4, which is the number of all the captains in KnB, if I’m not mistaken, and (I couldn’t find the official source for this) apparently the creator of KnB worked with Furudate, teaching them how to draw sweat and attacking positions. Bokuto could be a character whose aesthetic was bestowed to them. This sort of thing happens, even in big productions (Rei Ayanami, one of the protagonists of NGE, is a tribute to Rei Hino, from Sailor Moon). 

- the official explanation though, could be that the 4 is the number of the ace in Fukurodani, and Bokuto prides himself to be the ace way more than to be the captain - 

If you want MY personal hc, he wears high kneepads because Akaashi has a thing for his thighs and he covers them in love bites all the time so Bokuto had to find a way to cover them ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Mari Christmas! (*^∀゚)ъ

When gift boxes start falling from the sky, everyone thinks it’s a Christmas miracle. The scores of solid objects blasting through the roofs of their homes moments later remind them that just maybe, they should be worrying about the laws of gravity as well. Some choose to hide from the barrage in their homes, while others decide to scramble outside to seek shelter elsewhere.

Bad choice. The townspeople scream and dive out of the way as a pink helicopter swoops low to the ground. Eight children are nearly decapitated. They’re being comforted by their parents after this traumatizing experience as the helicopter slows its descent and hovers in place.

The door to the aircraft slams open to reveal Ohara Mari wearing a red Santa suit and obviously fake white beard. She takes in everyone’s terrified faces with interest. Then, Mari winks, forms a circle with her thumb and forefinger, and whispers, “It’s joke!

No one says a word. Perhaps they’re in shock over the whole situation. Mari doesn’t pay them any mind and says, “Ciao~” before closing the door. The helicopter begins to pick up height, and the bystanders shake themselves out of their stupor so that they can quickly back away before they’re blown off their feet by the resulting winds. Mari’s helicopter veers sharply right and takes off, nearly colliding with a power line. The crowd watches the helicopter slowly fade from sight in stunned silence.

Thousands of homes are destroyed. The entire town is laid to waste, and children weep at the loss of their image of Santa Claus.

But it’s okay, because Dia is money. Mari will drop off the bill for the damages at the Kurosawa estate in the morning.

She chuckles to herself as her helicopter flies off into the night. With this, Dia will definitely regret telling the Ohara heiress that Santa wasn’t real when they were first years.

Terrible AU where Dirk’s not lying to Todd and he really does have two jobs.

By day, he runs Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.

By night, he drives for Dirk Gently’s Holistic Taxi Company (that gets people to the right destination maybe 50% of the time, doesn’t actually wait for calls but just sort-of abducts people on the street who look like they might need to go somewhere, has accumulated a frankly terrifying number of speeding tickets).

Stabler-centric thoughts on Ep 18x13

Transformation complete. From Nu Munch to Nu Stabler, in just 13 episodes!

:D

Seriously though, surprisingly long post ahead: (I would cut it down, but I don’t have the time or the patience)

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 18x13 

First things first: what the fuck happened to Barba’s chocolates? Biggest disappointment of the night. The official SVU account is not to be trusted.

Overall thoughts

Decent episode. It had some issues*, but it was reasonably, well, not terrible. Probably a little above average for Season 18’s standards. 

*starting with the issues, to get them out of the way: too much rapist(s), not enough victim. We got to see if the rapist (the first rapist) was “okay” with a plea for rape 2, and he “admirably” said he deserved that punishment, but we never got to see if the victim was okay with that. We never got to see the victim again, period. We don’t know if and how she is coping. She was a total afterthought. We did see the other victims, during the trial, but that was just to poke holes in their stories. It seems that’s the only reason we ever see a victim, in S18. Not to see how they can overcome their rape as survivors, but to make them appear unreliable for the sake of plot twists.

Anyway.

Barba thoughts

I joke about Sonny going from Munch to Stabler, but I’m not joking when I say that Barba is going from Cabot to Novak. Seriously, Barba went from fierce and flawless Ice Queen Alexandra Cabot, who won every case and didn’t give a shit, to earnest but messy Casey Novak, a half-decent lawyer who loses every other case but it’s okay because we love her. and i do love her :’)

Barba doesn’t really lose cases, but he never wins them on his own merits (with the sole exception of Making a Rapist, when he got the mother’s testimony on the stand, about 7 years ago, when that episode aired). It’s always Liv, saving the day. Even in episodes which are spent mostly in the courtroom, there are no legal victories. No big moment in which Barba argues the fuck out of a case. He just utters a few snarky tidbits like “Bunny,” so we can all admire Raul’s sass, and then he loses (like he lost the motion about confidentiality) or he wins because of something Liv did.

Has Barba gone soft, not to mention less competent, on purpose, or is this poor characterization? that’s a rhetorical question btw

The Legal Side of SVU

Why does this season waste all these semi-interesting cases? Why did we spend the entire rape trial debunking the victim statements, instead of watching Barba argue the law? I was expecting the “rape gene” theory to figure more heavily into the trial, but it never did. Why not? Why waste that opportunity?

The earlier scene with the minister on the stand, that was way more fun to watch (mostly because it didn’t involve victim-blaming). Why do all these cases, which could be considered vague (and therefore exciting) from a legal standpoint, get reduced to arguing the boring facts, like a suspect’s height? Same thing happened with Imposter, an episode which could have been a million times more interesting, if only it had focused on the law.

For instance, Sonny suggested another case offscreen, and Barba dismissed it offscreen, and we never got to find out what it was. Why bother introducing legally murky cases if you’re not going to bother presenting the arguments? Rick Eid is a lawyer, but I can barely tell from watching. He only scrapes the surface. I’m a much younger lawyer, and totally inexperienced when it comes to criminal law, and I still routinely come up with, like, three more things Barba could have done or said in each episode.

But, in fairness, I do have to say the minister/confidentiality theory, as well as the AA comparison, that was actually smart. It was the only unique touch in terms of plot, and they even set it up well, with the prayer, or whatever that was, as Rollins and Carisi were surveilling the group on that earlier scene. That raised my expectations, as did Barba’s argument that the guy was a only being a minister as a hobby (now that’s a fun argument to make!), so the return to mundane victim blaming later on disappointed me even more.

On to Sonny:

Sonny’s Temper

I’ve said it before (and used the SpongeBob gifs to illustrate it), but there is nothing in Sonny’s characterization this season that could be viewed as an organic progression of the Sonny from Seasons 16 and 17. Nor has there been anything plot- or character-related which would justify such a stark change (please no one mention Dodds unless you want to make me laugh).

When is the last time Sonny cracked a smile that wasn’t sarcastic? Remember when Amaro was the angry stereotype, and he’d argue with Barba or Amanda, and Sonny would try to defuse the situation with a joke? Now Sonny has picked up the mantle of Angry Cop. Which, I mean… Sonny, gurl, if Amanda freakin’ Rollins has to scold you about being insubordinate to your superiors, that means you’ve taken it about eighteen steps too far (wait, do the writers remember how she used to talk back to Liv and Dodds? Probably not.)

Sonny and Empathy

Where? 👀 Shouldn’t Sonny have talked to that Will kid more gently? Instead of saying “I’m not a priest or a shrink, just gimme the information, goddammit”? Sonny usually cozies up to perps. This kid wasn’t even a criminal, and Sonny was treating him aggressively, when it was obvious he was fragile and would probably respond better to a milder approach. Which brings me to:

Sonny and Continuity

Sonny told Will (still in a very pointed way, when I was expecting a more casual, if not cordial approach) that the “next” rape “will be on him,” if he didn’t testify. Might that be a callback to Sonny’s own guilt, since he believes the fact his bully murdered someone is “on him”? Even though that’s wrong? And it was extra wrong to lay that kind of a guilt trip on this Will kid? Or did the writers forget about Sonny’s past already?

The Barisi Corner

Barba gave Sonny a sassy look! Because Sonny over-explained a legal matter to show off! And then he sarcastically thanked Sonny! Classic S16 material. We are blessed!

“I don’t care about Barba”

Seriously though, Sonny said “I don’t care about Barba”, meaning he cares about the case more, or about the victim, even if that means making a colleague mad. And that’s fair, especially in the heat of the moment. But this is coming a week after Barba’s secret is (almost?) revealed, at least according to the original production order. What can we deduce from that?

I’d like to think (the old) Sonny would be more considerate when talking to a colleague who had recently been compromised, or gone through some type of emotional hardship. So, maybe Barba’s secret never actually comes out? Maybe we learn it, as the audience, but it doesn’t go public, so Barba ends up worrying over nothing?

Barba obviously doesn’t lose his job, so maybe no one finds out (other than Liv, of course, because from that promo we know she tells Barba about the hacker). What if Sonny doesn’t find out at all, and he doesn’t even get to learn Barba has a secret to begin with? Could Barba’s storyline run in parallel to the “main” case, with no other characters (other than Liv, of course) involved? That would be both disappointing (because the writers would be wasting yet another opportunity to integrate Barba and show he is a valued member of the team) and unsurprising (because, S18).

Of course there’s another option; maybe continuity is a non-factor and the writers just never bothered to write anything to further the “Barba’s secret” storyline past that one episode :D

Sonny’s Temper, Vol. 2

As Amanda noted, Sonny totally overreacted during that argument. Why would that be? Does he really think he knows better than Barba, on whether or not jurisprudence from another state is applicable or relevant? Like, that’s not an “opinion,” Sonny. And, even if it were, it’s Barba’s opinion which defines the prosecution’s strategy. If Sonny wants to make these decisions, he should quit the force and start prosecuting perps himself.

Which brings me to:

Sonny and the Law 

Dare I hope that’s what the argument was about? Is Sonny getting increasingly frustrated with the fact his job ends when he arrests a perp? That would be a great way to bring back his dilemma about becoming a prosecutor. This type of long-running professional frustration would perfectly explain why he snapped like that. It wasn’t about him knowing better than Barba, it was about him wishing he could be doing Barba’s job. Or even thinking he should be doing it.

Apparently, Sonny researched the case, and he came up with an idea which he presented to Barba offscreen, thinking it could save the day. That’s going above and beyond, from a cop’s perspective. And then Barba rejected his idea without a single word, also offscreen, and that pissed him off. Maybe Sonny felt underappreciated, in terms of his legal skills. He is a licensed attorney, but he is not treated as such. Problem is, he is not a prosecutor, he is a cop, and that’s how he should be treated.

So, what if Sonny’s constant sour mood is because he’s unhappy where he is? Because he wants to do more, from a different position? Maybe that’s the reason for his changed demeanor, and it will be explicitly dealt with near the end of the season. lol yes I’m reaching for the stars, Sonny’s law aspirations will probably never be mentioned again

Stray Thoughts

Greg Germann was awesome! So evil and hot. Strauss gave Buchanan a run for his money. By the way, remember when he was an ADA? lol neither do the SVU writers. Why didn’t Barba at least tease him, for switching sides? Like he did to Calhoon (except for her it was the other way around, when she advocated for that victim in that one episode). It would have taken three seconds, and it would have added context.

What’s that? Barba also had an abusive father? lol no one cares or remembers :D

Okay but, when Liv just popped up on that roof, out of fuckin’ nowhere, to deliver some angst and sell her backstory, totally overshadowing that kid? Classic Liv! (srsly tho she was great in this episode :D)

Speaking of, why didn’t we get a close-up of Sonny on that roof, after he found out about Liv’s history? He was right there! And that, too, would have taken three seconds. I was craning my neck to see his reaction, even though it was off-camera, lol. What a wasted opportunity to show how much he cares about Liv. Oh, and Amanda apparently found out offscreen (as if Liv would ever tell her, lol). This season does not give a single fuck about the squad dynamics.

Peter needs to do that botox thing people do between their eyebrows for their “11” lines, he’ll get wrinkles if he keeps frowning like that in every single one of his close-ups.

Amanda’s coats keep slaying me.

What a waste of Bill Irwin.

That first defense attorney is my fave! I wish he’d been in more scenes!

CCU Updates

So although I had a terrible call night, I am ALIVE. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

-36 hour call because my attending decided to round from 9AM-2:00PM when I was post call and AND pick a fight with the endocrine attending during rounds. 

-I am carrying most of the CCU service right now because I am a black cloud

-I also have a scary-sick patient who’s gonna get intubated I just know. But that said….

-My intern is ER, and he is SO GOOD and will intubate in a pinch. Killer ultrasound skills, procedure-savvy, smart, efficient, hardworking. Without him I would not have gotten through the night. My fellow residents are jealous ahahaha

-I got an email of support from the neuro ICU supervising attending who is going to support my quality improvement project in the ICUs. Success!! And my presentation to the MICU fellows was greeted with a lot of support!

-DZ’s rotating through the MICU and we have the same call schedule. So we see each other as we run around the ICUs and it’s good knowing I have someone I can depend on at night in case something goes south (and something always goes south in the CCU. It’s a rule, I swear).

-My sister is home for the holidays and I get to spend time with her and my dad will be here soon too! 

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I know no one asked for this but in case you’re wondering … a Ringabel fan zine is in the works! I’ll have more information very soon regarding pre-orders. :) I hope that the book will help fill the hole you may feel (especially if you miss Ringabel).

I’m not done with the comic, there’s at least another page to it, but I wanted to share even if it’s a little late. ^^;

I wish I could tell you-

…that home was never a place for me. It was your arms, your warmth and the laughter and softness in your eyes when you looked at me.

…that you were always enough. Enough for your people, enough for your family, enough for me – we never wished you had been different. You were perfect, with all your imperfections.

…that you were beautiful. It was the gray in your hair and the scars on your body; the hum of your voice and your laughter in the air; the touch of your fingers and gentleness of your lips.

…that you were powerful beyond imagining. Your embrace could soothe the demons inside; your voice could conjure stories of ages long past. Fighting those demons together made us stronger and although they never left, they became easier to bear.

…that you were always worthy. No one ever doubted you as much as you doubted yourself and you did better by us than you ever thought you did. You were good. You were worthy.

…that I will never forget. This I swear – as long as I live, they will know. They will know about the king they lost, the friend, the uncle, the brother. And in thousands of years they will still speak your name as a ward against the shadow and there will be nothing left but love.

This I swear.

How Much Does Willpower Cost? Asking For A Friend...

Guys. I fucked up.

Last night my brother, roommate and I went out for a friends birthday. Roommate and I are broke so we pregamed at home. Fiscally responsible. Or so I attempted. Spent too much money, drank too much and with that comes the inevitability of….fast food.

FUUUUUUCK!

I feel like shit. Hungover and full of very terrible food. Can I just have one weekend where I don’t completely screw up?

intimacy || a bliv oneshot

They’re talking about their humanity again. 

It’s one of those bothersome topics that can actually disturb his cultivated charm. It’s no consolation to remember something you can never have again. He is growing accustomed to his new biology, but little pieces of being a fully-fledged human filter through his walls and pester his peace, especially at night, when he just lies and stares at the ceiling. He imagines she does the same.

He does not believe there is a cure for what he is, inside and out. But he hasn’t told her yet. He lets her dream of something better. She hasn’t figured out he’s a complete cynic, and for some reason, he likes it that way. Sometimes, her round big eyes stare up at him with hope, even if they’re constantly clouded by suspicion and disbelief. He is a member of her kind, after all, and he made her. She looks to him for some kind of normality, almost out of instinct.

It shouldn’t please him this much. He should quash that glimmer of hope inside of her. He should be proud of his new, improved status. Go with the strokes. Feed, profit, repeat. 

Liv Moore is cute. But not that cute, and certainly not worth further consideration.

Keep reading

#FLYinCHICAGO

GUYS THAT WAS SERIOUSLY THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. I LEGIT ALMOST LOST MY VOICE (jackson got me screaming too much ;) aayyee) 

  •  Jackson and bambam were being extra as always
  • Youngjae performed (but he still looked a little out of it)
  • Jinyoung was speaking English most of the time 
  •  During Yugyeom’s part in ‘Follow Me’ he changed the lyrics to “Dab,Dab,Dab” (while dabbing of course) and just burst out laughing after
  • Bambam did a sexy dance and said “you have to be 20 to think about that all day” and the rest of the members started teasing him after that. Like bambam you aren’t even 20 yet. 
  • I believe Yugyeom did a sexy dance too and Papa Jaebum threw something on top of Gyeom to cover him
  •  Their unit stages were amazing. After their units performed, they each talked about it. When it was Jackson, Bambam, and Yugyeom’s turn to talk, Mark called them the “swag unit”. Bambam was talking about the song W.O.L.O. and he goes “do you guys know yolo? It-” and Jackson just yells “NO, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. It’s not yolo…It’s not because of copyright!!!!!“ 
  • They were talking about what they did their first morning in Chicago. Mark and Jackson slept, while the others went to get pizza and went downtown. 
  • During confession song, they walked through the aisles (my friend tOUCHED YUGYEOM…YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE). 
    • Before the show, people were handing out hearts that we would hold up during the song. Each member had their own color (I of course got jackson’s heart which was white)
    • People were also handing out ‘Fly’ banners that had cartoon!GOT7 on the front and fly’s fan chant on the back
  • During one of their songs (i think it was turn up the music) they dabbed like 1093034 times in a row
  • They didn’t do dumb dumb :((((
  • The graphics on the screen were really cool! They had a lot of bright lights flashing too. But in the beginning of the show they were having a glitch with the screen 
  • Mark said that since they always do concerts/fan meets in Asia, it was nice to finally come back to America. 
  • Jackson kept hyping up the crowd 
  • There were so many body rolls oh my lord yES
  • Bambam, Mark, and Jackson would ask the others questions in English and they would try and answer back in english. Although they did have to translate some words for the others
  • Like i said before, Jinyoung was talking in English throughout like the whole thing aND I LOVED IT. HE SOUNDS SO CUTE SPEAKING IN ENGLISH
  • After they performed Fly, bambam talked about how that was the song that got them their first win.. He said “we couldn’t have done it without you!” and pointed to the crowd. But Jackson thought he said “without yugyeom!” so he goes, “without you! not without yugyeom!” 
  • THEY LOOK SO MUCH HOTTER IN PERSON
  • JAEBUM AND BAMBAM LOOKED SO TAN AND I LOVED IT
  • Jackson’s laugh sounds even cuter in person…i’m crying 
  • During Fly/ Home Run/ and Just Right, they wore these nice bomber jackets. Yugyeom’s was red and black, Youngjae’s was red and white, Jaebum’s was light blue and white (i really want it omg. If anyone can hook a girl up with a link to it that would be great), Jackson’s was blue and silver, Mark’s was blue and white, Bambam’s was black and gold (i think), and i believe Jinyoung wore a black and white one. (sorry if these colors aren’t right)
  • During Jackson and Bambam’s rap in Just Right, Jackson said “Say yeahhh” & “Say blab blab blab” and Bamba, said “Say dab, dab,dab” and “Say dab boiiii” (what else do we expect from him lmao) 
    • p.s. you guys better believe I was dabbing like fucking crazy the whole night  
  • They were talking about the different dances that they do, and Jackson announced that he loves the way Yugyeom does the little shoulder dance during his solo in Fly (I agree with Jackson, that is my fave part of the choreography tbh). And because of that, they made him do it for us. 
  • JACKSON WORE HIS LEATHER JACKET THAT SAYS “WANG” ON THE BACK (daddy looked so good)
  • IN FACT, THEY ALL WORE LEATHER JACKETS AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER 
  • Before they performed “This Star”, Mark said that jinyoung wrote the lyrics. He then asked him why he named it that. Jinyoung replied with “It’s not called This Star, it’s called These Stars” and pointed to the crowd (that was smooth af)
  • MARK KEPT BITING HIS LIP AND I FELT LIKE FLINGING MYSELF OFF OF A CLIFF
  • At the end when they were saying their speeches, they all wanted Youngjae to go first. Before he started speaking the crowd started chanting “youngjae! Youngjae Youngjae!” even Jackson joined in.
  • Youngjae said that he performed today because he felt guilty. He didn’t want to let us down. He said he wasn’t feeling good and he hopes we understand. Jackson replied by saying “We will always be here for you Youngjae!!!” (i love supportive jackson)
  • All the members kept asking Youngjae if he felt okay throughout the whole show :’) 
  • Jackson asked if we knew who Mike Ditka and Michael Jordan were and then said that “Igot7 are better!!!”  
  • They did a dance roulette thing. There was a spinning wheel that would choose which choreography people had to do in order to pass the mission and to help them come back (to the city) again. There was a camera that would choose random people from the crowd to dance
  • Speaking of camera…during one of the songs (i think confession song but i’m not sure), bambam takes one of the cameras that was on the stage (the one that projects the crowd on the big screen) and started filming people in the crowd and they would show up on screen! 
  • Jinyoung took someones camera on stage and started filming the members 
  • MC Bambam made an appearance ft. MC Mark and MC Jackson
  • During the last few songs, Yugyeom wore the pink bulls hat that Jackson always wears. He even pointed to it during his speech
  • The members (but mainly bambam) would take peoples phones and take selfies / pics of the other members. 
  • Jaebum said he would say his speech in Korean to make it more sentimental. He basically thanked the fans for being so welcoming and for supporting them all these years. 
  • Before Jackson started his speech, he yelled “EVERYONE LEAVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS” and then started laughing. Then he just says “WHOEVER HAS A BOYFRIEND CAN LEAVE” and pointed to the door. He then said that he hopes we stay healthy. Fame and fortune don’t matter, what matters is that we all stay healthy. Because we only live once ;)
  • Bambam said the same thing he said in Dallas. He needs to forget about the haters and just move on cause he already has everything he needs. 
  • They asked us all to stick our hands out (like as if we were about to do like a handshake type thing) and they got in a half circle (as if they were including us) and say “Got7 and igot7!” 
  •   THEY WILL BE BACK SOON
First hour.
There’s grit in your mouth from the dusty training field
and your mother’s cautionary tale about the military being hell
echoes in your head, even as you pretend not to believe it.
You’ve never been a good liar, especially to yourself.
-
First day.
You learn that your limbs are valueless,
your blades easily dulled, your boots need patching,
but that deceit is invaluable. You meet a boorish boy
who’s also terrible at lying; somehow, you like his chaos.
-
First month.
Three dead, and you faint over your
first body, seeing it there as lies gather about whether
the instructor actually cut the safety line.
Flies swarm, and you count your heartbeats carefully.
-
First year.
There are lies in your mouth about what happened to Krista,
about how you don’t faint under duress; promise that you won’t fail.
But the webs you consider weaving are badly constructed and weak,
and you know it is not how you will succeed.
-
Top Ten.
You wonder what unicorns dream of once they’re truly myths,
about how a man earns the right to wear the insignia of the Military Police.
But you also dream of yourself as a myth, and the dust you survived
chokes you, becomes poison you swallow in your sleep.
-
Last day.
As hell swirls below Trost’s broken rooftops, you pause to ask an honest question
into the rose-tipped clouds—what are we fighting for?
You ask, despite knowing it has no answer, knowing that philosophy isn’t for soldiers.
But you can always lie about being faint of heart behind a bullet.
-
Last minute.
You don’t know you’re going to die until you’re crying.
You hear a demand, then question in Reiner’s voice, like a child.
There is death from above and from below,
and you wonder, just for a moment, what other lies you would have told.
—  Marco Bodt Appreciation Week, Day 2, Prompt: “Feint of steel/faint of heart”

Sometimes I forget the amazing people who follow me, and I feel bad for that so to all my followers have a digital hug

Originally posted by sam2119931

I really need more Spain angst okay 

Spain was one of those characters who was a devious and conquering empire. Like Turkey and Prussia he too had done terrible things in his past and in modern days he was able to wind down…But that still doesn’t go away. 

I need Spain having night terrors of when he literally killed empires like the Aztecs and Mayas. 

I need Spain feeling so much regret that he just breaks down and cries

I need Spain that beats himself up because he cares too much for the feelings of those around him than his own feelings. 

I need Spain broken to the point where he can’t act bright and positive anymore

And the most important thing, 

I need people to be there for Spain when he’s in tough times. I need people caring for him the way he cares for others because he can’t fight all alone 

horoscopes: "through the narrow place"
  • aries: i know this is a hard time for you, aries, but remember: 'tis better to have loved than lost, it's really great, just the best.
  • taurus: step on a crack, break your mother's back. pick up a phone, break your mother's tailbone. take your coffee with creamer, break your mother's femur. the wizard's spell has gone terribly wrong, and you must not move at all until it is reversed.
  • gemini: you will meet a tall, handsome stranger. he will introduce himself, you will come to know him well, and he will know you well. he will grow older, his skin will sag and thin. he will no longer be handsome, he will no longer be a stranger. he will no longer be most of the things he once was. he will be a close friend. an old friend. one you've known for years. and with whom you are settling down into that final stretch of life. but he will always be tall. so tall. very, very tall.
  • cancer: i'm not saying this is bad news, but the stars just say, *screaming noise*. i mean, maybe that's a good sign. right? right?? it's a very inexact science.
  • leo: today is your lucky day. which is good news, because tonight is your unlucky night. but enjoy this lucky day until the sun goes down. until the very second the sun goes down. and then... and then...
  • virgo: you should check under your bed before you go to sleep. that way the thing hiding in your closet will think you haven't realized where it is yet.
  • libra: all eyes are on you. gross! give them back.
  • scorpio: mars is intersecting with mercury, which means your head is weirdly big for your body. and no one wants to tell you because they don't want you to have the grace of self-awareness. ugh! scorpios...
  • sagittarius: you worry too much about earthquakes and plane crashes. you're going to die of heart disease or cancer, just like everybody else.
  • capricorn: stop throwing your money away on expensive cars and nice clothes. the owners of those cars and outfits do not appreciate the crumpled dollar bills you keep throwing on them! and anyway, if you want to throw something away, that's what garbage cans are for.
  • aquarius: you've been so stressed lately. why not just sit outside tonight, relax, look up at the stars, and know basically nothing about the world you live in.
  • pisces: scorpions are not as dangerous as everyone thinks. try to concentrate on that. it'll help you feel a little calmer tomorrow.
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mcswarek appreciation week - day one: favourite scene
I’m gonna tell you a story. It was just, you know, a normal night, and we were lying in bed, and my stomach was hurting from laughing ‘cause you’d been teasing me about something, I don’t remember what. I must have fallen asleep or something because all of a sudden I was having this really terrible dream. And I couldn’t stop crying, you know, I was crying and… you weren’t even really awake. I remember you grabbed me… you were just holding me so tight all of a sudden. You said “I’m right here, and I’m gonna hold onto you and I’m never gonna let you go.” Right then, I knew that I would never feel more loved, or more known…

a/n: I just had way too much champagne and this is probably a terrible idea but @ohmycaptn gave me an idea and I just jshkdsfhkdjak. (btw forgive my mistakes I’m not american and I’m drunk)


He presses the “Emma button” of his device, hoping she would answer him this time.

“Hello?” She’s been working all night and damn, she regrets giving him a cellphone. He must have called her about 50 times this week, asking questions about the modern world or just making sure she was okay.

“Oh, finally Swan!”

“Is everything okay?” It’s not. He can’t stare at the ceiling of their house anymore, or have french fries at Granny’s - it doesn’t matter how good they taste.

“I just…hmm…I miss you, Emma.”

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