i'm just gonna crawl under a rock now

Malcolm in the Middle sentence starters
  • "I am destined to be the most miserable person on earth."
  • "I want a sundae and then some pizza."
  • "So, what kind of socks are you wearing?"
  • "I will leave home forever! Or I'll never leave... whatever's worse."
  • "You don't have any friends."
  • "You spent $300 on sequins?"
  • "I want to wear my pajamas to school."
  • "I expect nothing and I'm still let down."
  • "I can smell colors."
  • "I have social skills, jackass."
  • "I'm just gonna go crawl under a rock now."
  • "People can't help what they like."
  • "In our house, 'feelings' is the F word."
  • "Are you trying to seduce me?"
  • "I'll get up when the world stops being a cruel joke."
  • "I know what you're gonna say and believe me, I totally agree."
  • "There was no excuse for what I did. It was idiotic, immature."
  • "I was being sneaky and stuff."
  • "You're going down."
  • "Who's this dork?"
  • "You wanna go learn something about the real world?"
  • "Too bad. You're coming."
  • "I got the DVD player but we'll need to steal another $600 if you want the surround sound."
  • "Maybe we can figure out some sort of deal."
  • "Nothing exciting ever happens around here."
  • "I just wanted somebody to like me."
  • "She's cute, she's smart and she even lies to cops."
  • "I'm in ass heaven."
  • "I'm Mr. Cool."
  • "Why does everything end in a group suicide with you?"
  • "What happened to your face?"
  • "What happened to your pants?"
  • "Well maybe she wouldn't be a lesbian if you tucked in your shirt once in awhile."
  • "There was nothing they could do about it."
  • "I don't want to burn up any calories repeating myself."
  • "I just don't get why we're celebrating. It seems wrong."
  • "If he wants to marry a total stranger, that's his business."
  • "Have you really thought about what you're doing?"
  • "I'll spend the rest of my life being sweet to her."
  • "You will never connect normally with another human being."
  • "We photoshopped your head in."
  • "I have a need to show off."
  • "When they laugh, I'm sure they're always laughing at me."
  • "They're all jealous."
  • "I bet you feel like a jackass."
  • "This in no way justifies what you said before."
  • "It's ditch day."
  • "I'm surprised you didn't hear. Everyone was telling their friends... Oh."
  • "The professor of boozeology has some homework for you."
  • "What's he doing here?"
  • "I know I always say gossip rots your soul, but it doesn't count when it's this good."
  • "I'm so glad we don't have any secrets."
  • "I'm glad you told me."
  • "Feels good to come clean."
  • "I ended up at the supermarket, where I squeezed all the Wonderbread into balls, so the manager threw me out."
  • "Oh my God, I'm as unpopular as you?"
  • "You don't have to freak out, I know how to handle him."
  • "Thank you for inviting me."
  • "Are you trying to prove you can't go out in public?"
  • "This is your last chance."
  • "Don't try 911. They're not qualified."
  • "Maybe we need to look at ourselves honestly."
  • "You're a ruthlessly brutal thug."
  • "I have my moods."
  • "Look how it was my first impulse to criticize you, that just shows what a pompous asshole I am."
  • "I usually assume people are my enemy."