i'm just going to pretend this is

There is only one GF/ASOUE crossover where Stan is put in Count Olaf’s role that I can accept as in character.

Dipper and Mabel lose their parents and inherit an immense fortune, to be delivered when the twins come of age.

Stan hears about this and engineers a scheme to adopt these kids he’s never met and somehow get his hands on their inheritance. He doesn’t abuse them or make them do ridiculous chores, but he does make them work in the Mystery Shack and is gruff and grumpy to them just as in canon, so he generally makes a bad first impression.

However, during the first week or so that the twins are there, Stan realizes there’s no way in hell he’s ever going to be able to double-cross them. Even if he won’t admit it out loud, his gooey marshmallow of a heart has been completely won over by these poor precious children and he would do anything to protect them. (He’d actually been won over since day one, it just took him a week to admit it to himself.)

This might be the end of the story, and the Pines family might be able to live a happy life together from this point out, were it not for the fact that unlike Olaf’s henchpeople, Stan’s associates are not a collection of goofy characters blindly loyal to him. On the contrary, the hardened criminals that Stan had originally intended to help him steal the twin’s fortune would think nothing of rubbing him out and kidnapping the twins themselves if they had any inkling he’d gone soft.

So for the twins’ own safety, Stan has to arrange for them to be sent to another relative. He tells himself this is all for the best, he didn’t know the first thing about raising kids anyway and he’s not crying you’re crying.

A few days later one of Stan’s associates contacts him, saying he’s found those rich kids that narrowly escaped their grasp and wants to know what the new plan is. To protect the kids (not to mention save his own neck,) Stan has to pretend he’s still in on the plan to rob them of their fortune. He follows his associates to the home of the twins’ new caretaker under the pretense of leading them in some new scheme, all the while quietly sabotaging things to make sure they fail.

So Stan ends up going everywhere the kids go, protecting them from his associates while trying desperately to keep those same associates from figuring out he’s actually helping the twins. Between Dipper and Mabel’s resourcefulness and Stan’s careful sabotage, they escape the villains again and again.

One of two things happens from there: Either the kids realize he’s protecting them from the start and eventually have a Not What He Seems moment where they find out he originally wanted to steal their money, or they think he’s working with the criminals from the start and there’s a sort of reverse-Not What He Seems moment where they realize he’s been helping them. 

(Where is Ford in all this? Ford is Lemony Snicket. That’s why he’s writing about everything in the past tense, from the perspective of someone who learned about everything after the fact, unable to intervene until he’s brought back from the portal. He is initially angry at Stan and resentful of him, and his narration paints Stan as a selfish jerk and a villain in the beginning. But over time, the more he learns about both Stan and his niblings, the more affection and love trickles into his storytelling.)

[stares into the middle distance] 

I have made a huge mistake.

If I was in charge of the Batman movie, I’d make the trailer go like this:

We see Gotham City. Dramatic music plays as the camera pans over the city. You see Wayne Manor, the Batmobile. You see Wonder Woman, Flash, Cyborg, and Superman, standing in a line as Batman walks away. Diana asks, “Have you ever had a team before?” and Bruce doesn’t respond.

Then the music changes to something sadder, nostalgic on Bruce’s face as he turns away from the JL and walks out of the room. A booming voice-over says “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Flying Graysons!” 

A little boy’s voice says, “Try and catch me, you big boob!”

Ryan Potter says, “Batman needs a Robin, Bruce.”

A girl, “I missed this.”

A cheerful girl says, “Enemy of crime and people who don’t like purple.”

Another girl says, “I’d like to see you try and stop me from being Batgirl.”

And a boy says “Tt. You’re shorter than I expected.”

Bruce says, as he is almost completely covered in shadows, “I work alone.”

There is then a montage of someone pulling on purple gloves, pushing on glasses, pulling on a cowl, blue and black fingers grabbing an eskrima stick, a yellow cape being put on, someone’s black mask over her black hair, a gun being loaded.

Then it shows the six of them standing on a roof, just a quick shot, then it goes to the title card. 

BATMAN, BATGIRL AND ROBIN: THE LEGACY

then it shows Bruce in civilian clothes, pushing open a door while he’s calling someone on his phone. He freezes, and it shows Dick doing a handstand with Damian balanced on his feet while Tim and Cass are filming it. Bruce sighs. 

“You know what, Selina, I’m gonna have to call you back.” 

Taste

In bringing this collection to a close, I decided to take it back to the start.

You can also find this fic here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12286317/5/Sense-ational

Enjoy.

The first time she kissed him, he tasted like butterbeer and something distinctly James. The combination made her head swim, her heart pound, and her body crave him, his mouth, his body, his skin against hers.

It was a crisp October afternoon, the first Hogsmeade weekend of their seventh year, and Lily had finally said yes, enthusiastically yes, to James’ Hogsmeade proposal. He’d been stunned at first, thought she was having him on, made worse by the fact that instead of answering his desperate enquiry of “Are you serious?!” she’d said, “No, but your brother is,” winked at the tall, wavy haired man next to him, and walked off. She never could resist a Sirius joke. Neither, she knew, could Sirius, and his barking laughter followed her down the corridor. James, unwilling to leave things on such unsure footing, chased her down the corridor and took her hand. “You’re actually saying yes?” He’d said, the words quiet and deep and fast, his eyes searching her face and when Lily broke into a smile he looked like he’d been stunned. “Yes, James. I’m actually saying yes.”

He’d dragged her down to Hogsmeade as soon as they’d finished breakfast that morning, though ‘finished’ is perhaps not quite the right word. James had practically inhaled an entire bowl of porridge, his knee bouncing incessantly under the table, and Lily had barely had time to grab a few pieces of toast before his hand was in hers and he was hauling her away from the table.

She was shouting indignantly and shoving bites of toast into her mouth as he pulled her into the brisk morning air, but his hand was warm in hers and the electricity shooting through her veins kept her from protesting too fiercely against the disruption of her breakfast. Instead, she gripped his hand more firmly in her own, bumped her hip against his playfully - “You better feed me today, Potter, or you’re dead.” His eyes were sparkling with amusement when he smiled back at her, “On my honour, Evans.”

When they got to the gates, James had stopped them, moving to stand in front of her, his eyes moving over her face, and Lily’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at him because he was just too damn beautiful to be real and how had she never realised it before? She wanted to grab him right there and kiss him, but they hadn’t even had their date yet and she knew how long he’d been waiting for this, so she ran her tongue along the back of her teeth and bit the corner of her lip in an attempt to control herself. But he was still looking at her like that, like she was everything, the only thing in the world, and the air was crackling with so much electricity that she could taste it on her tongue when she pulled in a deep breath. He blinked and smiled an embarrassed smile before reaching up and taking his scarf from around his neck. “Here,” he said, grinning at her, “You look cold.”

His fingers burned trails across her skin as he tied the scarf securely around her, and she swallowed the desperate reply that was bubbling up in her, opting to thank him quietly instead. It was the exact opposite of everything she normally would have done and she knew James had noticed because he’d cocked an amused eyebrow at her as they began walking again, but she couldn’t trust her mouth because it was begging her to either taste every centimetre of his skin or tell him how she thought she might actually, desperately, be falling in love with him and neither of those were options while they were making their way to the high street on their first official date.

The morning was a whirlwind of sound and colour - they went into all her favourite shops, he detailed everything he’d ever planned for all those rejected dates, her cheeks flushed with a bit more than the cold when she told him that she was glad he’d finally earned her attention. She tried to remember all the details, commit it all to memory, because she knew this was something she’d want to remember, that it was one of those rare moments you realise, as it’s happening, that you need to set it down, to carve it into your memory, because this moment, this day is going to be one that changes the rest of your life. But no matter how hard she tried to step back, to catalogue the details, she couldn’t. He was overwhelming, he was, and she couldn’t focus on anything but the rush in her stomach that was slowly burning a hole through her when she looked at him.

They ducked into The Three Broomsticks for lunch, he cracked jokes and she tossed chips at his head. They drank bottles of butterbeer and she pretended not to notice the stunned look on his face when she brushed her foot against his calf under the table. His eyes welled up when he talked about his parents, she took his hand and talked about her sister, they talked about the future. It was easy to talk to him and they talked about everything.

They fought, of course, over who would pay the bill when it came and, though James won, she grumbled about it while they waited for Rosmerta to return with his change. James pocketed a handful of coins as he stood, laughing as Lily said, “I can pay for myself, James, bloody hell,” and took her hand. They walked out of the pub and the cold air was a shock after the warm, smoky air of the pub. “You can pay next time,” James said, grinning down at her and Lily cocked her eyebrow, “Who said there’s going to be a next time?”

He stopped in the middle of the high street, turning to face her and raising his eyebrows - he studied her before he smirked and moved his hands to her hips. “Now Evans,” he said, his fingers brushing along the hem of her jumper, “I know you don’t mean that.”

The retort was on the tip of her tongue, but, recognising the opportunity, she grinned instead. “No, I don’t,” and she reached up, wound her fingers in the hair at the base of his neck, and pulled his mouth to hers.

She would, over time, run her tongue along all the lines of his skin, tracing him, finding every sensitive part of his body and memorising it and the way it felt against her lips, the way the salt and spice of his skin lingered on her tongue. But now, right now, with his mouth on hers, his fingers sliding along the exposed skin at her waist, all she could think was more. She needed him, every part of him, and she knew then that she would never, ever get enough.

She didn’t care that people were probably gawking at them, that they could see just how desperately she was pressing her body against his. The taste of him was driving her mad and she shouldn’t be held responsible for any acts of public indecency she might be in the process of committing. She bit down lightly on his bottom lip, smiling at the groan that escaped him, before he broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were shining with want and mischief and she could tell just how much effort it was taking for him to control himself. It mirrored, but probably didn’t quite match, the restraint she was exercising over herself.

“You can’t be doing that to me in public, Evans. We’re supposed to be setting an example. What kind of Heads are we?” Lily grinned and pressed her hips against his, “Maybe we should go back up to the castle then, if you’re going to be such a stickler for the rules.”

He smiled so broadly she thought his face might crack with the effort and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her when he was looking at her like that, grinning stupidly at her in the middle of the high street like he’d just won the bloody lottery. She knew how he felt though, her lips were still tingling, her skin still humming, and she completely understood, now, what it felt like to have your entire body come alive, burst into flame, when you’re with someone. She craved it, never wanted it to end - James had ignited a fire in her gut that she hoped, no, knew, would never burn out.

She stepped away from him, grabbed his hand firmly in her own, and turned towards the castle.

2

It’s always been true.

whatever you do don’t think about even coming up behind isak just to wrap his arms around isak’s waist and stuff his hands into the pockets of isak’s green jacket. he pretends that he’s freezing, but this fucker wears like 10 layers at a time, he’s perfectly fine. but isak had been stubborn enough to get out of bed in spite of a cold, and had even just seen a slight shiver? whatever it was, he’s not going to risk his boyfriend getting sicker. so he whispers “halla baby” and nuzzles isak’s ear, and it totally interrupts isak’s train of thought as he’s explaining spideypool to magnus (even had converted him okay he totally gave isak a talk about iconic pansexual fictional characters). isak’s face turns as red as a tomato, and by this point his friends are howling with laughter, and although isak protests, he totally cuddles even back. 

Loving with a Little Twist by hrrytomlinson

Summary:

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know Niall! I just promised my mother I’m bringing my boyfriend - a boyfriend I don’t have - to Thanksgiving dinner. What should I do? I can’t call back and be like, ‘Oh yeah mom, that boyfriend I said that I have, I don’t actually have. Sorry to disappoint you.’ My life is ruined.” Harry returns to suffocating himself with the pillow.

Niall laughs and Harry growls at his best friend’s unwarranted happiness in this life-ending situation. Harry is fucked. Fuck. He needs a boyfriend. Fuck.

Harry/Louis Thanksgiving themed fake/pretend relationship // word count: 29k

look, maybe we could start over, maybe
we could love softer, maybe it would hurt
less this time. maybe we could pretend it
never hurt, just like before. i don’t know if
i’m drunk yet or just lonely but i really just
want you back, just want someone to be
here. and yeah, i know it only hurt us both,
i know you don’t want to stay, i know i hate
you and love you, somehow at the same
time. i’m just tired of my bed being empty,
of my heart being tired, of my body wishing
it were something other than a body. i need
something to fill all this goddamn space.
—  THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’M ASKING YOU BACK, I SWEAR  (sarah kate o.)

So I saw this text post and then my hand slipped

Advent Day 4: Teachers!AU

Pairing: JongKey
Rating: G
Length: 600~
Warnings: Again, nothing. Um jokingly threatening students? Sort of, but not really. 

Summary: Their students ship them.

“I’m going to punch every one of my kids from eighth period straight in the face,” Key said as he stormed into the music teacher’s classroom. 

“You know that you sound deranged, right?” Jonghyun asked as he saw the theatre teacher walk in fuming. He didn’t stop grading the original compositions that had been turned in by his last period students, though, unsure of where this was going. “You can’t actually hit kids. They did away with corporeal punishment long before we were even teachers.”

“I know,” Key let out a long sigh. “It doesn’t mean that I can’t fantasize about it though.” 

Jonghyun chuckled, understanding the frustration of his fellow teacher. It was difficult to teach high school, even more so when your subject was an elective. There was always kids who were just looking to get an easy A without really trying at anything. “Wait, eighth period? Aren’t those your theatre company kids?” 

Being company kids, in whichever performing art they were in, meant that the kids were actually interested in the subject as they were a set group of performers who were involved in most productions. They were usually upperclassmen who had been with the teachers for longer than a year. Jonghyun rarely heard Key complain about those kids. Sure they got on his nerves from time to time, as all teenagers did, but never to the point of threats of physical violence. That was usually reserved for freshmen who thought they were cool because they were in high school now.

“Yeah, but those little shits,” Key continued to huff, “they think they know everything about me and that they can just make assumptions about my personal life!” 

That gave Jonghyun pause; he raised his head and saw that not only had Key stormed into his classroom in a snit, but he was also blushing from the tips of his ears down to his neck where his button up shirt began. “What did they say?” 

“They said they shipped us!” Key said, sounding vaguely indignant, but mostly mortified. “I didn’t even know what the hell that meant until Jin took pity on me and explained.”

Jonghyun chuckled loudly and continued grading papers. “I told you to download Urban Dictionary onto your phone. It comes in handy when teaching high schoolers.” 

“Yeah well,” Key sighed loudly again, surely trying to justify himself and why he never listened to Jonghyun. “I thought I was still with it.” 

“No one says ‘with it’ anymore, either,” Jonghyun said shaking his head. 

“Shut up,” Key said, with no heat in his voice. The original surge of anger seemed to have died down as soon as he sat down on the edge of Jonghyun’s desk. “Can you believe those twerps though? They said that because we were the only two openly gay teachers that we should get together.” 

“That’s kind of really close minded,” Jonghyun replied, finally done with the composition that he was grading. 

“I know, right?” Key questioned with raised eyebrows. “Like just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean that we should date.”

Jonghyun cocked his head to the right, scrutinizing his boyfriend. “So…” 

“Well I mean we’re obviously dating, but they don’t know that. And I’m not dating you because of proximity or anything. We’re together because we have compatible personalities and we love each other and all that.” Key explained with an eye roll. 

Jonghyun stood up and stepped between Key’s spread legs. Just as he leaned in for a quick peck, Jonghyun chuckled quietly, “Imagine if they knew their ship was canon.” 

Key’s confused grunt was swallowed by Jonghyun’s kiss, but he knew he’d have to look that one up too.  

I just watched the Molly Sherlock scenes in the empty hearse again…. I just…. omg! The flirting! The way he looks at her! Ahhhhhh!!!!

Okay, collecting my thoughts. I’m going to break it down as I see it. Note* this is just my opinion/interpretation of those scenes… I do not pretend to have any clue as to the motivations of the writers or actors during these scenes.

1. Sherlocks welcome back: Sherlock goes to Molly right after he sees John. Why is this significant? Well, Molly knows that he is alive, so she shouldn’t be a high priority on his back from the dead tour, but he goes to her straight after John. (I’m even toying with the idea that he sees her first… see bottom of post for more on this.) we have all seen the gif (I don’t know how to make it or find it or I would add it lol) when they first see each other at Barts in the locker room. The focus is on Molly but you can still see him smile in the reflection of the mirror.

2. When he is waiting for her to come over to ask her to go crime fighting: he is nervous. You can see him mouthing words to himself. (Figuring out how to ask her?) note* at this point I think he already knows about her engagement, I think he knew that from their first meeting.

3. That whole scene when he asks her: like omg! When have you ever seen him be so diplomatic? It reads so much like him attempting to ask her out I’m not surprised she thought he was. And when she finishes his sentence for him, the look he gives her! His eyes! (Okay at this point my nose was literally an inch away from the screen as I watched on slow motion) he looks at her like: well, yes. Obviously.

4. The cheating husband case: “Your not being John your being yourself.” ….. do I really need to say more here? Come on! Okay fine: she is sitting next to him! John always sits opposite him, and the clients sit on the desk chair and get judged. This time the client sits in John’s chair with her husband standing next to her. Sherlock is deliberately creating changes to his routine so not to make Molly feel like she is a substitute.

5. The catfish case. Again, Sherlock seats the clients in another part of the room….. look at his history people! Every case, he always sits them in the same spot. Except for when he is with molly… not only that but look at his face as he holds the client’s hand… also he holds the client’s mother flipping hand!!!! Could you get more out of character??? This case is a 2 at best, but he looks so much like he cares. Why would he do that? Why would he waste time talking to the client, she is obviously upset and irrational.. traits that Sherlock detests, and yet there he is. “And you really thought he was the one didn’t you…. the love of your life.” *looks straight over to molly* Even as he explains the truth to Molly he does it quietly, with caring in his voice. Rather then his usual MO of just blurting it out… (also notice that all these cases are around lovers, cheating or not being what they say they are…. like maybe he wants her to think about her relationship…) and then he serves up the clients dad. Which again is out of character, he wouldn’t care.

6. The case with lestrade: he is totally showing off for her! Okay head cannon, John talking to him? That’s his own self doubt sneaking in. Eg. M: “Your on to something aren’t you?” S: “maybe.” John’s voice: show off… he is actually showing off then lestrade asks him about Molly and he says he is giving it a go. He says that because it’s not his choice if this continues, it’s hers. When lestrade asked him about John he answers diplomatically and walks over to stand near Molly. *Note: the ongoing proximity thing he continues to stay by her side the whole day. So then she goes over to the body and he heads straight over next to her again, she notices he proximity and steps back apologising. He reassures her and John tells him he is jealous. Jealous of what I ask you? How does that work any other way? He is jealous because she steps away, because she is with someone else. That’s why he’s jealous. When he picks up the manifesto he blows the dust off away from Molly, just another little thing I noticed that shows he cares. He also shows it to her first before lestrade. When she tells him it’s impossible, he leans in and says “welcome to my world” the intensity in his eyes is just fantastic! Then John calls him a smart arse. This is because Sherlock is trying to get Molly excited by the work, like he did with John. Because having her around solving case with him is the closest thing he can get to being with her. Then John tells him he forgot to put his collar up, he forgot to look cool so she would want him…. when he accidentally calls her John, well he’s done that before. Plus he has John in his head at the time. (I don’t really have anything for this if anyone else wants to add in their own head cannon I would love to hear it)

7. The train case: so much flirting, I’m just going to repeat that SO MUCH WITH THE FLIRTING! He spends the whole time paying more attention to Molly than he does the case, eg. The girlfriend joke. Someone posted on here once that they were surprised that Sherlock didn’t pick up on the missing car straight away. This is because he’s not looking at the footage, he’s looking at her…… I watched like 6 times. (I know I’m totally obsessed!) but he really does, you can actually see him looking at her not the tape.

8. When he comes out of his mind palace: he talks about maps, but as he goes past Molly he changes the subject and asks her out…. yes he was asking her out, it’s Sherlock…. he is the master of subtly….. this is the moment where he sees if he has managed to sway her…… this whole day, the cases he chose, the showing off. All of it was to show her that he was better than the man who gave her that ring. So he makes his final play and asks her out…. but it doesn’t go well does it. She calls him out on the day. Molly Hooper is not an idiot. She knows what he is doing and she asks him point blank about it. He knows he lost the game so he does one more very unsherlock type thing…. he tells the truth. “The one person he thought didn’t matter at all to me, was the one person who mattered the most.” He never breaks eye contact here. And then, he lets her go….. his face when she starts to talk about Tom, that wistful smile! Be still my beating heart! He tells her he is happy for her, that he wants her to be happy. He didn’t even do that for John with Mary! But lets just take a look at that for a second shall we…… it’s established that Sherlock hates change. He has always found fault with every relationship around him, John’s girlfriends, Molly’s boyfriends. Even mrs Hudson’s relationships are not off limits. When he met Mary he deduced her and found her acceptable. But he has never met Tom. He would never let his friend date someone without judging them first. But he lets her, because he doesn’t think he deserves her. And then oh my goodness the kiss, right up until his lips hit her cheek you cannot be sure he isn’t going to kiss her properly. His face is completely open and without manipulation, he never breaks eye contact. How could anyone see that moment and not realise he loves her? How?


Okay back to my head cannon that he goes to Molly before John. First of all, his nose is fine, if he went straight after John it would have at least been red… but it wasn’t, and then there’s the cut on his lip, the obvious cut on his lip…. also missing.and then there’s the lighting. We know that it was late at night when he saw John but it was bright at the hospital. You can see the light coming in from the windows hitting the lockers. But when he goes to see lestrade it’s dark again. Therefore he goes to see Molly first.


Ok so that is my head cannon break down of Molly and Sherlock in TEH let me know what you think! Do you agree, disagree? Have anything to add? Did I get anything wrong?

I feel so tired all the time but when I am in bed I can’t shut my eyes. I stare at the ceiling for so long and wonder why? God if you are out there, why won’t you reply?

jeong joon hyung is quickly joining my little list of favorite male leads because: (spoilers ahead!)

  • he is so open about how much he admires, likes and adores bok joo
  • he never lets his ex-girlfriend have her way
  • he tries to solve his issues by talking (or buying thousands of unhealthy food when it comes to bok joo)
  • he calls his uncle and auntie mom and dad
  • he pretends he doesn’t know that his uncle and auntie are the ones giving him presents and letters
  • he confronted his hyung and exposed his true feelings on how he feels about him
  • his relationship with his family in general
  • he helped bok joo when she had a crush on his hyung
  • he cheered on bok joo before the competition
  • he realized how bad bok joo felt when his hyung saw her on the competition and as soon as possible he was there lecturing his hyung
  • he helped her overcome her crush
  • he didn’t ask why she wanted to take a break from weightlifting but asked if it was difficult for her
  • he instantly tried to comfort her and reminded her that she’s awesome
  • as soon as he realized his feelings for her he told his hyung he was going to help her go throught this difficult moment and only then he would confess, at the right time
  • he was smart enough that when he saw her with another boy he imediately confessed to her