i'm jumping on the bandwagon i'm sorry

The Signs as Al Swearengen Quotes
  • Aries: I wouldn’t trust a man that wouldn’t try to steal a little.
  • Taurus: Say what you’re gonna say or prepare for eternal fucking silence.
  • Gemini: Welcome to fucking Deadwood!
  • Cancer: Pain or damage don’t end the world, or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you’re dead.
  • Leo: Here’s my counteroffer to your counteroffer: go fuck yourself.
  • Virgo: Every fucking beating I’m grateful for. Every fucking one of them.
  • Libra: You would not want to be staring like that at me.
  • Scorpio: You can’t cut the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve.
  • Sagittarius: Announcing your plans is a good way to hear god laugh.
  • Capricorn: Change ain’t looking for friends. Change calls the tune we dance to.
  • Aquarius: In life you have to do a lot of things you don’t fucking want to do. Many times, that’s what the fuck life is...one vile fucking task after another.
  • Pisces: Loopy fucking cunt.

anonymous asked:

Someone: *flirts with Thanatos* Icarus, watching from a distance: I'm the only one allowed to flirt with Death what do they think they're doin (I'm sorry I'm jumping on the Thanatos X Icarus bandwagon here)

i love this ship now. but,,, can u imagine someone mentioning flirting with death in a totally metaphorical sense and icarus appears like ‘i won’t hesitate bitch’

Beach Headcanons!

((Everyone’s doing this, so here we go! This will be pretty short since Dwyer hardly goes to the beach.))

  • Dwyer, being very pale, burns easily. Sunscreen only delays the inevitable, so he often stays beneath the shade of an umbrella.
  • He hates the heat, but that doesn’t stop him from wearing pants. He refuses to wear shorts due to personal preference. Luckily, the beach tends to be cooler, even in the hottest weather.
  • He may not admit it, but he likes the feeling of sand between his toes, but only when taking a step in the ocean. Otherwise, it’s too hot for him.
  • Dwyer enjoys sweets, and wouldn’t complain if someone were to give him ice cream.
  • Beach trips tend to consist of a long nap under an umbrella or palm tree.
  • me: goes online to play mario kart
  • me: gets hit by blue shell
  • me: gets hit by red shell
  • me: gets hit by green shell
  • me: gets struck by lightning
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

I saw this gifset going around with several tags relating to groups of Jojo characters so I redrew it with my favs but what I would like to know is why Jotaro wouldn’t consider running out of Doritos an emergency

Lack of Piety in the Confessional

It went without saying that despite a significant amount of pressure from her peers, the Lady Riven Pendragon still was a devoted follower of Thaliak. And given her now infamous background in the city (being called before the Tribunal a rumored three times for her studies of Allagan magics, with the third time resulting in the Inquisitor throwing out the case due to it being a ‘waste of resources’ and the normally serene Lady Pendragon ripping her opponent apart verbally, sleeping with the then Ser Pendragon before marriage–the rumor there had it that she had strode past his uncle with a smirk on her face and no shame some mornings-scandalous books, a few notable encounters at some social gatherings…)

Granted, the hyur noblewoman did offer proper reverence to Halone, attending the services, and nobody could deny her kindness and willingness to aid Ishgard’s poor…but for Riven to attend Confession?  Extremely rare.  

So it was on a cloudy day, her stomach slightly swollen from the growing babies-that Riven slipped into the confessional booth.  With a sigh she crossed her arms, a wry smile appearing on her face as she glanced at the lattice.

“Shall I be honest, good Father?  I do sin quite a bit, and I fear my list might give you a fit.  And I probably shall keep sinning, and truth be told I suspect sometimes Halone really doesn’t care for the small things as she does for the large ones.  Not to mention, I’m certain she’s aware of my husband and his comrades, they do call dragoons Halone’s favorite sinners in some quarters…”  If anything, the idea of a small theological debate promises that this time won’t be so dreary.