Mari Mari my dear love since we are talking about this, can I ask you sth? (via ask and not chat cos it may help some people out there) well, a dear friend of mine decided to "go on a diet"... The thing is that she never actually said it was a diet but more of a "I'm not really hungry in this period" and it happened right after a super bad break up with her boyfriend (almost 3 years of dating ok, so it wasn't just a fling). Like... She isn't really vegetarian since she eats meat/fish around 1
Once every two months or something but… We eat together every day since we are classmates and ok she never was a big eater in the first place but since the break up (3 months ago) she is fucking coming in class with a bowl of 3 carrots and like 5 tomatoes and I’m extremely worried >< At first I thought that ok it could be the stress since we were having also some exams in that period, but after a couple of weeks I noticed how she kept bring ONLY carrots/tomatoes/zucchini in this lil bowl 2
Like… Not even pasta or rice anymore!! So I asked her if she wasn’t on a diet and she replied me “no, I’m not really hungry these days”. But after another week she started saying how she didn’t like her physique (she’s around 1.63 like me and 53-54 kilos, NOT FAT AT ALL) or how at dinner her mother forced her too eat pasta. PASTA OK. You need carbs ffs, especially if you ate so little at lunch! And those complains… Really made an alarm ring in my mind so I asked her again if everything was 3
Fine yk? And she said yes yes dw. But she just kept eating so little and indeed she lost quite some weight in these months. Everyday I tell her she looks amazing and that she can’t eat so little especially now that’s hot and she has low bloody pressure:/ but she just shrug me off. Once we also fight quite badly cos she came with only a bowl of almonds (around 15, I counted em) for lunch and I really tried to be calm but me saying her that her eating habits weren’t good really made her snap :/ 4
Ofc we solved it out after, but she keeps eating like this and I’m afraid the more I’ll talk with her about it the more she will build a wall (she is also very proud so that doesn’t help at all) to leave me out (at least on that matter, cos we are super close for everything else). Another friend started to notice her behavior and she’s getting really worried too and again we both tried talking to her a couple of weeks ago but her excuse was “my dad I vegan I know what im doing, im not on a 5
Diet, mind your own business” and look, I seriously don’t know what to do anymore :/ ofc you can eat veggies for lunch but NOT THIS LITTLE. Saying that really breaks my heart and i can see how thin she got in the last three months :/ she not underweight yet but I’m worried she will be if she keeps going like this. Also, her complaining about her body and how obsessed she is with not eating carbs kinda frighten me… I don’t wanna rush things but… Her behavior and how long it has been
Since she started this “diet” are very very close to the characteristic of some eating disorders and I really dunno what to do anymore. I try not to show my worry to her too much but clearly talking is not working and I’m wondering if I should find some other way to help her :/ any suggestions?
omg this is actually extremely worrying.. :/ emotional distress can block your stomach, yes, but it can be so so dangerous to let it dominate you. she needs to be educated about the nutrients her body needs to assimilate to actually function as a human being, bc clearly she’s deluded into thinking that her diet is healthy. to be honest with you, there are diets low in carbs and they can actually be healthy if done well (the paleo diet for example), but if you are going to remove something off your diet, then the more careful you need to be about what you eat, the more diverse your eating habits need to be, and you ESPECIALLY need to take care about the amount you’re eating everyday. the more specific foods you cut out, the more you need to eat of the remaining foods. people have this wrong misconception that eating less is better, and yes you might lose weight that way, but will you feel good? no, you won’t. hell it can even lead to serious problems like damage in the nervous system.
a healthy way of eating is not eating 10 almonds or two bites of vegetables like she’s doing.. it as simple as choosing a healthy option instead of an unhealthy option when you’re hungry. I bet she’s starving all the time and that is just not good for her. her young body might not be feeling it right now, but be sure as hell that the more she ages the more this dangerous way of diet will affect her. then again, she mustn’t have any energy already, which is totally the opposite of what you need during exams or hectic times in school!
also, her father being vegan is not a good excuse, because there are actually a lot of unhealthy vegans out there who only eat salads or only eat vegan junk food, which of course leads to countless deficiencies. if she is trying to go vegan and is eating like that then she is for a huge reality check in the future. to be honest, it is hard to do something when she doesn’t want to listen, but I assure you she must not be feeling physically well at all.. and yes, more than dieting this looks like the beginning of a serious eating disorder.
some suggestions.. tbh, you guys could try to go out for lunch or dinner together more frequently. start out with healthy places if you know them (asian restaurants can have lots of healthy options), so she’s at least getting more stuff in her stomach. maybe try to talk her into eating more quantities of vegetables, so her body gets used to eating bigger amounts and then she will start craving more stuff. you could also invite her for activities that involve heavy exercise because exercising increases your appetite, so she might be inclined to eating more if she’s more physically active.
though personally, what I would do is confront her again, but not let her get the upper hand. it might turn into a fight, but at least she would be listening, right? and that is already a good step. she says that it’s none of your business, but when she’s worrying you and your friends, then it is more than that, and this girl needs to understand that. tbh I think this is one of the cases where you just can’t leave her alone, even if she feels uncomfortable — she might get mad, but keep pushing until you get another reaction from her. tell her to visit a nutritionist, tell her to get her blood tested, and hell if she doesn’t want to talk to you, convince her to talk to someone else instead. but definitely do not let this go.. you guys still have time to get her on the right track again. good luck conny :’(