i'm in shock right now oh my god

Something happened about “8 or 9” minutes ago…

A facken’ Earthquake here?! Everything’s facken’ swaying left to right, oh gosh i hope this won’t get any worse!!!
Before a facken’ Volcano erupted & now another earthquake?!

I STILL WANNA LIVE!! (even thou i really wanna die) BUT I STILL HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO LIVE FOR!!! *ahem* stop should stop this drama… hope no one gets hurt… there is still some after shocks right now but i dun give a Fack? Maybe? Lol!!! *dabs out* Was facken’ overreacting about this shi– didn’t i?  ̄ε  ̄

  • psychic: *reading my mind*
  • me: here we go, the whiskering begins. gimme your face. no pressure. nose pressure ahahahhaha pa ching and pa zam. your nose is quite a nice texture today. today? that face is not helping. no, no, no, no. how do I look? pretty great. fabulous. aw aw. whiskening achieved. let's answer some Qs. that's an X. you had one job, phil. *clapping* what happens in the basement of google? it's where vloggers are born. mother. would you rather have barbed wire eyelashes, ow, or grass hair? uh, grass hair. why? get a tiny mower, different style everyday. brrr brrr brrr. is canada real? uh, no. it's a fictional country, isn't it? I was aboot to say. *finger snapping* advertise the item closest to you in the most disturbing way you can. it's actually a pair of my underwear which was on the floor. that is your underwear? oh my god. underwear? watch out for an under-scare! disturb not make the worst pun ever. sorry. do a creepy face! *dramatic music* oh wow, that's horrific *weird noises* nooo, no no no no. phil, sing the first song that comes into your head in a scottish accent. oh, I don't know what song is in my head. what the what was that? ow. rekt. no. that was like a russian no. what the fuck was that? there's a russian man in my stomach. I think phil's trying to drop hints that's he's a cannibal, guys. rrr. play tug of war with phil's stress mushroom. what is the stress mushroom? they mean this baby. no, not that. I hate that. No! *struggling* no *more struggling noises* Oh. there's wet stuff in it- OH MY GOD -what is this?-WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENED? rest in peace, disturbing mushroom. do the next question in dan's room. invent a new swear word and use it in a sentence. alright, ch-chanksplooned. alright, go on then. yeah, I chanksplooned your mom's face. do we wanna know what does chanksplooned-ok. what would be written on your tombstone? oh phil, there was never a better king of the universe. for god's sake. what's on yours, dan? ugh. dan, you're a penguin with rabies and phil, you're a mouse that's constipated. *weird noises* have a staring contest with dan while barking like dogs. whoever laughs first, wins. (?) 3, 2, 1. *barking noises* AH HA HA. y'all laughed. invent something that not one person would ever use. a bed made out of smashed glass. I wouldn't use it. fair enough. phil, sing the john cena theme while dan pretends to be john cena. *john cena theme* ow haha ow I knew that was coming *laughter* do an impression of a dying goose *weird noise* what the hell was- oh my god. *laughter* *weird noise* make a duet about ladders. ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders ladders- who would(?) you step on them and you climb-ladders ladders ladders ladders- they're made of metal, they go up-ladders ladders ladders- if you're a fireman, they're really high. laddeeeerss. ladders ep. that's the symbol of our band. everyone put out their ladder hands. yeah, that's what the crowd's gonna be doing to our concerts. YEAH, LADDERS AH. you just broke the sound barrier. that's what happens when you go fast, you idiot. what the f- oh my god. become a season. oh oh wha what was that? oh, it's spring. you were birthing something. phil, what vegetable should be king? the op-carrot? scroll through your camera roll without looking, choose a random picture and explain the story. scroll scroll scroll STOP. I- I was witnessing nature in action. and taking sneaky photos of it, you perv. HAHAHA. what is happening in this photo? it looks like I'm in a public toilet mid-blink. wow. *bad beatboxing* dan, you're a nacho. phil, you're the salsa. make fanfic. I'm just so dry and crusty and until I just get inside you and submerged myself in your red juices. DIP ME - I can't get into myself-DIP ME DIP ME DIP ME AH DIP DIP AHH AHHH AAAHHH AHHH I'M COMPLETE MMMM MMM. stop it. let's all take a moment to just forget that happened. what is your favorite number of the alphabet? seventy-L. how dry is your wenis? wait, I know what your wenis is! ayee, ayee. it's this. mine's pretty soft. this is your wenis. let me stroke your wenis. that is a smooth wenis. tickle my wenis? *laughter* pretty soft as well. damn, guys. moisturized wenii. ah, let's just move on. let's move on. say a really unerotic word in a sexy voice and then lick your lips. exhaust pipe. OH *disgusted voice* OH I FEEL VIOLATED. concrete. *laughter* nooo. play the spoons. my grandma actually used to play the spoons so, prepare yourselves. *metal sounds* spoons. look up friendship yoga and imitate the first image. what? what the hell is that? HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THAT? so, we sit on our butts, not on our backs and make sure you're kinda like resting on your butt then feet together and then hands. reach. ah, I got one. and the other one. ow. ok. wait, wait, wait. alright now, over to the top. friendship. ow. *laughter* ow ow oh my god I pulled my leg oh oh. we have a very low friendship level otherwise that clearly would've worked. disaster. phil, reenact the photo of chris pratt and his raptors using house plants. I've got this. oh, god. here it is. ok, phil, very well done. *clapping* I'm so proud. that's pretty- you have a problem though. you seriously- I am chris plant. oh, did you just? do a trust exercise. no, no, no that's not a good idea. I'm actually scared. phil, you better-I'm gonna catch you. fall. oh my god. fall. AH OH OH MY GOD OH OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH. your scream was incredible. YOU CAUGHT ME. I did. I DIDN'T DIE. Yeah. let's end this right now. So, there we go. thumbs up for another year of phil is not on fire. I'm quite shocked that I actually lived through this video-yeah- it was quite dangerous. You can click on phil's face to subscribe to his channel or my face to subscribe to dan. or click our bellies to subscribe to danandphilgames. is that a thing? give em a little tickle. ok. also, there's loads of new stuff on dan and phil shop so check the out- check that out- there's a link below. and we will see you guys next year. yeahh. i mean, we are gonna make videos but until this, the whiskers will return- there, there will be another of this. ACHOO. uh, sorry. I think that that's a good time to end it. Goodbye. *slow motion screaming*
  • psychic: what the actual fuck
Lardo's apartment

Lardo has a crappy little studio apartment.

It’s tiny, which shouldn’t be an issue because she herself is tiny, and she’s never really there. Between being an art major and the team manager, she’s normally busy. She knows that it’s tiny, she knows that it’s a mess, but it’s hers. It’s big enough for her to sleep and study there, it’s close to campus, and doesn’t cost too much.

The little single room apartment is a space that is just for her. She’s only ever had one other person there before, and since then she can’t bring herself to invite people over.

That one person is Shitty. She had needed some help with a project and he had volunteered to go over and lend a hand, and while Lardo had protested (heavily), her desire to hide how she lived was outweighed by her desire to get her damn installation piece done.

When shitty arrived, Lardo immediately noticed two things about her apartment.

One, is that it was actually smaller then she thought. Seeing shitty, in all of his tall, gangly-ness, in the space was quite odd.

The other thing she noticed was that her apartment was not just messy, but it was an actual fucking disaster. There were piles of chicken wire on the floor, paper scraps and fabric bits scattered on every surface, her walls were covered in paint streaks, and her dirty clothes were just strewn about where ever she had taken them off. Piles of dirty dishes were stacked on the floor, her bed was covered in textbooks, notebooks and sketches ripped from her sketch book.

As Shitty looked around in wide-eyed shock, Lardo felt her stomach twist and wished that she could be anywhere else in the world right now.

When Shitty turned and made eye contact with her, he was smiling brightly from beneath his mustache. Lardo raised one of her eyebrows in question before she spoke.

“Holy shit, I never realized how bad it was here. Oh my god, I’m so sorry you had to see this,” she told him, expecting him to want to leave ASAP.

“Art student life,” was his response instead

anonymous asked:

so I am 1000000%%% sure I have figured everything out. I'm certain of who Charles is and who Black veil and Red coat are. I'm literally sitting in front of my screen, watching season 3 episode 1, in complete shock. Jesus Christ. it's been staring us in the face since the first episode. oh my god. please re watch those episodes, you'll totally figure it out. it's someone you'd never suspect. oh my god.

i can’t watch the episode right now :(( tell me anon you got me so pumped !!

Calex

Calli couldn’t stop the blush from being even brighter, her head shaking as she smiled. “I can’t see my own face right now. But I’m sure I just like like a purple haired tomato.” She teased, her head shaking slightly. She nipped at the other girl’s lower lip, gasping softly when Alex lifted her up, it was still shocking to her, as much as she loved it. “God, I love when you do that.” She muttered against her lips, wrapping her legs around her girlfriend, pulling her closer with her legs.