i'm in love with a man old enough to be my grandpa

azrielever  asked:

Like, what are your Headcanons about Jason, Percy, Nico and Will when they get older? Who becomes a silver fox and who loses their hair? Who ages gracefully and who looks like they pulled a deal with Satan and still look young for a middle aged man? Who mellowed with age and who's a grump? Who gets a pauch and who still looks in shape? Just general habits and body hcs as they get middle aged.

Ooooh that sounds interesting. 

I have a bad feeling all demigods age a little faster than the average mortal, they’ve had to carry the world on their shoulders and that left it’s marks. Anyway, here we go:

Percy starts greying first, not just because he has been through more in some ways. His hair’s black too, so grey stands out a lot more.
He’s grown a beard in his early twenties, and looks so much like his father it irritated Sally in the beginning.
He definitely does not mellow with age, still as much of a little shit and ready to start a fight at a moment’s notice. He’s somewhat wiser now though, and scarily powerful. He may not be able to move as quickly as 12yr old Percy could, but his skill accumulated over years of fighting and training and surviving is down right insane. 
Percy travels around for a while, he joins satyrs in finding new demigods. Percy’s in his thirties when he settles at camp as a teacher and helps Chiron run the place. He gets a room in the big house because he is not the only child of Poseidon anymore and doesn’t wanna creep the kids out.
He has devoted a lot of time to arrange good communication with Camp Jupiter, to have events together every now and again, and to help each other out when either is in trouble. He and Reyna grew to be close friends, who are jokingly bitter about the youngsters thinking they own the place.

Jason grows up nicely, he loses the puppy dog aura and a fair few campers have an awkward crush on him. He looks like that one teacher, with stubble and dark framed glasses, who loves all his students, always has a cup of tea and a jumper over his dress shirt. Unlike Percy, he definitely mellows with age, unless someone provokes him he isn’t quick to prove that he hasn’t lost any of his skill.
It took Jason a long time to come back to New Rome. Being in Camp Half Blood has shown him that a lot of things are going wrong in the Roman equivalent, that it is not a good environment for young demigods, that he’s been groomed to be a child soldier against his will. Eventually however, Jason grows up enough to realise that he has the power to change that. Reyna and Frank did a lot of work already, but it’s not enough yet for Jason. He makes sure the legion isn’t run by 15yr olds anymore, but by adults like him and Reyna who can shoulder the responsibility. Who can be a parental and authoritative figure to new demigods, help than settle and learn rather than mold them into a shape acceptable to Roman standards.
His wrinkles are mostly smile lines, and despite only a year difference, people always think he’s much younger than Percy. He never stops being the dad friend and fiercely supporting all those close to him

Nico is absolutely stunning in his twenties, there’s n other way of putting it. He grows his hair out to a nice length that can be put in a ponytail or a bun, he grows tall but loses his lankiness in favour of lean muscle and defined lines. He never grows a beard, he can’t, but he doesn’t want to either. 
Percy thinks he looks similar to Hades when Percy first saw him: graceful and elegant, dangerous like a panther waiting to pounce.
Later on, much to Percy’s dismay, Nico doesn’t go grey. His hair is raven black until late into his fifties (while Percy is pretty much flecked with grey from his early thirties on.) His face ages gracefully, little in the way of wrinkles and more in the way of sharpening angles. he looks like an aristocrat, or a king from another time.
Nico took up smoking in his twenties, for a few years until Will managed to convince him to stop. He gets a few tattoos - one to remind him of his sister, one as a reminder of the hardships he survived, one for the new family he found.
Campers look up to Nico more than he ever expected them to. He teaches a few combat classes alongside Percy, but he’s not always around. He still travels back and forth and all around the world, sometimes bringing new demigods with him, sometimes news from Camp Jupiter. While he’s around more often, it seems entirely impossible to pin him down to one place. Some things never change.

Will is like everybody’s favourite grandpa. He doesn’t even look that old, it’s his kind and warm personality that has campers flock around him whenever he visits camp. He’s gone to New Rome to study medicine, the traditional way, and consulted a lot with his Roman siblings there. They’ve had so much to learn from each other, entirely different methods for many things, and Will comes back to Camp Half Blood to share his knowledge with anyone who’s willing to learn. He runs the infirmary for years, but he leaves for a few months every year for organisations such as  Médecins sans Frontières (Doctors without borders? I don’t think that’s a thing in the US?) to help those in need as much as he can. 
Will ages gracefully. Like Jason, most of his wrinkles are smile lines, although he grows grey fairly early on as well. His hair is light, though, so it’s hardly noticable until Will is basically white haired. 

articulatedapper  asked:

Hello, friend!! Congratulations on your blog!! I'm really loving the premise and in addition I would love to be the one to give it a proper babtism through means of imagine!! And so, how would edgy grandpa, cow mcdonalds and dat boi react to their crush getting a boyfriend/girlfriend that isn't them. o:

Admin A: Yes Edgy Grandpa and Dat Boi are my jam. So I’ll be doing them but Admin B will do good old Cow McDonald’s. Also sorry this took so long to get out, but here ya go.

Edgy Grandpa (Reaper)

-He would be furious to the point that there’s black smoke leeching out and his fist are clenched into tight balls.

-He wouldn’t hold back, he wouldn’t even care if you saw him,  he’d kill your boyfriend/girlfriend then and there.

-He wouldn’t even use his guns, he’d just pummel them to bits until they aren’t even recognizable.

-Once your boyfriend/girlfriend is a bloody mesh of meat and bones on the floor Reaper would just approach you slowly before cupping your face and kissing you.

-If you tried to run scream or anything like that he’d just grab you before pinning you to the floor and covering your mouth.

-“Don’t scream. Don’t run. Don’t leave. Cause if you do *Your name* then I’ll go to the end of the earth and slaughter every living creature that has ever laid their eyes on you. You’re mine and I’m never letting you go.”

Cow McDonald’s (McCree):


-He tells his crush that he’s happy for them, but in reality, he’s very pissed.

-He hunts his crush’s boy/girlfriend down. When he finally approaches them, he acts all charming and friendly.

-“Well, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. I’m Jesse McCree, and *your name* has told me so much about you! Ha ha ha, wouldn’t it be funny though if you died?”

-The boy/girlfriend is confused but they laugh along with him until McCree presses the barrel of his Peacekeeper against their forehead with a deadly glint in his eyes and a snarl on his lips.

-“I mean, can’t have no one messing with *your name*, that’s very dangerous. Dating them is also dangerous, especially for you, because no one but me can be with them.”

-The boy /girlfriend trys to reason with him, but McCree isn’t having any of it. Why should he listen to this piece of shit?

-He shoots them once. He shoots them twice. He shoots them a third time. He keeps shooting them, even after they’re dead. Their blood, splattered across his serape and pants makes him scoff.

-He spits on their corpse and lights a cigar, putting Peacekeeper back in the holster. He gets rid of their body by burning it in the middle of a field. Who cares if someone finds the body, he’s already a wanted man.

-“Only one man can be with them. That man is me, Jesse McCree.”

Dat Boi (Lucio):

-Lucio is less mad and more so hurt. I mean that little frog boy really really like you.

-He’d just force a smile and tell you that he’s happy for you and that he’d like to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend.

-While talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend, he’d be smiley and cheery as though nothing is wrong.

-While talking he would start to feel rage build up inside him and would be asking himself why you’d choose this scum over him.

-The more he thinks about it the worse he’d get but he’d try to calm himself thinking that this won’t last long and that you’d break up with this person eventually.

-It would be months before he really decides to do something. He really didn’t want to but after you kept canceling plans with him, he had enough.

-He’d calmly ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to hang out with him and tell them that he just wanted to talk. Of course that’s not part of the plan at all. As soon as they walk into his place Lucio would tackle them to the ground before stabbing them repeatedly yelling out how your his and they have no right to take you from him.

-After he’d hide the body and make sure that there’s no evidence to link it back to him. He’d then wait at home for you to call him asking if he had seen your boyfriend/girlfriend. When he tells you he hadn’t he can hear the worried tone in your voice.

-As time passes with no word from your boyfriend/girlfriend, Lucio would be there for you the whole time, always comforting you when you need it. He’d often play relaxing music while playing with your hair till you fall asleep. Once you fall asleep he’d gently place his lips on yours before pulling away with a faint smile on his lips.

-“Oh *your name* if only you hadn’t chosen them. Then maybe they’d still be alive but oh well, It wouldn’t change a thing. After all, you’d still be mine even if they hadn’t gotten in the way. You’ll always be mine and I won’t let anyone else have a say in it.”

Steve Rogers Isn't Grandpa a.k.a. HE'S NOT GODDAMN "OLD" GODDAMNIT

Look at that photo.  I mean, seriously.  REALLY look at it.

I am getting really sick and tired of all the “Steve Rogers is a grandpa” / “Grandpa” Steve jokes.

Yes, he is from the generation our grandparents and great-grandparents came from.

Reality check:  Grandpa and Grandma were young, once upon a time.

They were young.  They made stupid decisions.  They were reckless.  They rebelled.  They did crazy ass things.  They did courageous things.  They lived - as much as we “young folks” are living now.  They’ve got stories to tell, if you’ve got the time to listen to them.  

(If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have known my grandparents eloped to Baguio City when they were teenagers.  And were responsible enough not to have babies until the war was over.) 

So, let’s really look at Steve Rogers.  Forget the seventy years he spent in ice.  They really, really don’t count.  For all intents and purposes, Steve Rogers is actually twenty-eight (at least, that’s what MCU wiki says) years old.  Or if you want to fudge a little bit, he’s not more than thirty.

That is young.

Steve is still, essentially, the same punk-ass Brooklyn boy who said, “FUCK IT ALL, I’M SAVING MY BEST FRIEND” and went on a suicide mission to rescue him, knowing full god damn well it was a court-martial worthy offense.  Steve’s not going to sit down like a fuddy-duddy, wave his cane and go “GET OFF MY LAWN, YOU DAMN KIDS!”

(Unless, of course, Steve is being a little shit and wants to troll you, because he is.)

I think Steve Rogers - once he’s got his bearings - would bring that Irish shitekicker part of his personality back in full force.  He’d love rock and roll, maybe find something to relate to with metal, especially the metal bands with the fantasy elements, because hey, The Hobbit came out during his time period after all.  This is the guy who jumps out of planes without a motherfucking parachute - maybe he won’t go out clubbing or concerts every night, because, hey, he’s still got his responsibilities but can you imagine Steve still pushing his physical abilities for the fun of it because, hell, he’d never been able to do so many of these things before?

You know what I honestly hope to see? 

I want to see Grand High Troll Steve.  I want to see Steve pretend he knows jack shit about our “modern world” and “modern toys” and keep people like Tony reeled in until Nat, because Clint is probably about to die from laughter, will gently point out the trollage.

I want to see Steve surprise everyone with hacker-level computer skills and offhandedly remark that he learned a lot from Skye and watch Phil in the corner quietly “squee." 

I want to see Steve caught headbanging to heavy metal and then turn around and go back to the music of his generation, because hey, he loves both and can’t see why he’s supposed to prefer one over the other.  They both have their good points, so what’s the big deal if he likes metal one minute and then will listen to Sinatra the next?

I want to see Steve cuss out at baseball games and finding a new team to root for because fuck the Dodgers for being traitors and watch the games he didn’t catch on his StarkPad or iPad. 

I want to see Steve wholeheartedly embracing computer art, having his own drawing tablet along with his traditional sketchbook and pencils.

Seriously, do you know who the real world equivalent of Steve Rogers is?

Sir Christopher Lee, who can trace his lineage to Charlemagne, who still rocks out to heavy metal and who, as a for real James Bond in WWII can tell you what a man sounds like when he’s stabbed in the heart.

Sir Christopher Lee is who Steve Rogers will be when he physically gets older and he’s still the most badass interesting man in the world.

So again, Steve Rogers is a young man.  He’s got a good many years to live (and probably more than that, due to the Super Serum), before he can really be considered a "grandpa” and even then?

He’s still going to be a badass.


Which Part 3 Stand User should you fight in a fistfight
  • Jotaro Kujo: Do not do this. Holly suggested in the very first chapter of SDC that she would not be surprised if her own son killed several men in an all-out brawl. Not four chapters later, random students affirm to the school nurse that he would actually get into fights regularly and come out unscathed. Do not fight Jotaro Kujo.
  • Joseph Joestar: This man may be 68, but he's still the wily bastard from Part 2 that used a children's toy, a sledgehammer, and a volcano to defeat ancient Aztec vampires, except now this time he's a foxy grandpa. His age is your only safe bet, and even then he has a German-made robot hand. Don't fight Joseph Joestar.
  • Muhammad Avdol: Normally, I'd say that you could easily fight any fortune teller and win. This man relies on his Stand for most of his fighting, but what you have to be wary here for is his cunning and foresight. Also, doesn't he have, like, hidden knives? He pulls one out and gives it to Polnareff to commit suicide with. What the fuck. Fight Avdol, but be prepared to lose barely.
  • Noriaki Kakyoin: Have you SEEN this man he is a twig he died from a single punch fight him. Bonus points if you make some sort of watermelon joke
  • Holly Kujo: What the fuck don't do this you'd win but why would you do this. This woman is a saint don't fight her.
  • Grey Fly: He is an old man that got taken out by Kakyoin of all people. Fight Grey Fly. Fight this disgusting old man and laugh.
  • Jean-Pierre Polnareff: I'm torn. On one hand, this is a fistfight and Polnareff's strength is his fencing skills. On the other hand, he beat up a fully-grown man at 5 years old. Fight at your own risk.
  • Captain Tenille: Now, normally I'd say fight him, but like. Look at him. This man is 200 pounds of ocean-tempered steel and sex appeal. Don't fight Captain Tenille.
  • Forever: An orangutan has five times the strength of a human arm. His Stand is named Strength, of all things. Don't fight Forever.
  • Devo: You'd win, but like, he'd LET you win. Devo would literally let you beat him up, and then he'd creepily giggle and then you'd die ten hours after the fight. You'd win, but do not fight Devo.
  • Rubber Soul: You'd win. This man copied Kakyoin. Poorly, too. The thing here is, Rubber Soul is pretty much nothing without Yellow Temperance dissolving everything around him. Fight Rubber Soul.
  • Hol Horse: Have you seen Hol Horse, like, ever win a fight? Even his victory against Avdol was staged so that they could fake his death. This man is literally nothing without Emperor, and he's still nothing with Emperor. Fight Hol Horse.
  • J. Gail: Okay, not only would you win, due to the fact that Hanged Man requires J. Gail to play hide-and-seek, but look at the man. Look at this bastard and tell me you wouldn't fight him anyways. Beat him up. I'll help.
  • Nena: I mean, you COULD fight her, yeah, but why would you? All she is is a gremlin woman inhabiting the body of a more conventionally-attractive woman. Let her live her dreams.
  • ZZ: This man is PATHETIC. Fight ZZ.
  • Enya: You would not win. The only thing you have going for you here is her age and the fact that she's tiny. Thing is, she sold a Stand arrow to Diavolo, gave Dio his Stand, only died from a sneak attack not even Jotaro saw coming, and kept up with Polnareff's fencing using a pair of scissors. I'd love for you to fight Enya, but please don't.
  • Steely Dan: I don't care who will win. Beat this trash boat up.
  • Arabia Fats: You would win. Arabia Fats was taken out by a single rock thrown at his head. His entire fighting style revolves around sitting behind a mirror as he slowly cooks people to death. Fight Arabia Fats.
  • Mannish Boy: Okay, see, you'd win, but there'd be so much backlash because, like, you're fighting a baby???? Wtf??? Don't fight Mannish Boy if you don't want your reputation ruined. If you don't care about that, fuckin fight this baby.
  • Cameo: This is one of the easiest fights on this list. His fighting style is him doing nothing as he sits underground, breathing through a tube. You could take him out by pissing on him. Fight Cameo.
  • Midler: Okay, see, here's the thing: we never see her in the anime or manga, so I'm going with Heritage for the Future's design for her (which is canon anyways), and you NEVER want to fight Egyptian belly dancers. This woman has killed, and will kill again. Don't fight Midler.
  • Iggy: I'd love for you to fight Iggy, but don't. One: He's a small puppy. Two: He owned Polnareff in three seconds and subsequently killed Pet Shop by biting him. Don't fight Iggy.
  • N'Doul: This man will go down in one hit. He's literally like a sadder version of a Waterbending Toph, except he'll make you wonder if you're truly doing the right thing during the very one-sided fight. Fight N'Doul at your own risk.
  • Oingo: Well, see, this depends. Are you that mafia nerd Oingo beat up for money? Then don't fight, just come back later with the mob. Are you literally anyone else? Fight him. Either way, you'll win.
  • Boingo: Don't fight Boingo. Just, don't. This kid has had enough happen to him.
  • Chaka: You're fighting Chaka because Anubis is literally just a sword. Now, see, Chaka is a farmer, so he's very strong and muscular, but if Polnareff has anything to say about it, he's a piss-poor fighter, even when possessed. Fight Chaka.
  • Mariah: No??? This woman has legs and she knows how to use them. Not only is she fast, she'll also kick you so hard you'dd be seeing cats until the next episode of Jojo. Then she'll take out the knife she hid under her tube top. Don't fight Mariah.
  • Alessi: This man is a coward, but he also has a gun and an ax. However, this is a fistfight. And in a straight fistfight, he got beat up by a seven-year-old child. Fight Alessi. It'll be fun.
  • Daniel J D'Arby: Oh my god fight him it'll be hilarious. This man is swole, I get it, but, like, he died from being bluffed too hard. He got beat up by his own younger brother. Fight Danny boy.
  • Pet Shop: Do not fight this bird he does not give a fuck he will literally kill you
  • Terence Trent D'Arby: Same with his brother: Fight him. Fight him until he starts bleeding MLG horns and salt. Because remember, EGGS (Every Gamer Gets Salty)
  • Kenny G: Kenny G's Stand, Tenor Sax, is a Stand of illusions. He will go down without a fight.
  • Vanilla Ice: See, you'd THINK you could take on a man named after a failed White rapper, but you'd be horrifically wrong. First of all, he's not only the second-biggest Dio fanboy (Pucci wins that spot), he's also a vampire. Second of all, he fucking cut off his own head to feed Dio. What the fuck. That's the most hardcore shit I've ever seen a minor villain do. Don't fight Vanilla Ice.
  • DIO: Do you want to die. This is a legit question. If Dio's charisma doesn't charm you into submission, then you're fucked. See, the thing here is, Dio doesn't NEED The World to kill you. Like, he's still a vampire, and he's still possessing the beautifully-sculpted body of Jonathan Joestar. Best chance is that you end up mind-controlled into fighting Jotaro and you end up in the hospital. Don't fight Dio. Don't even try to engage.

anonymous asked:

Could you list some thing that everyone in the Beatles fandom should know? Because I'm new here lmao

hey!!!! welcome!

here’s a list of things you need to know.

  • There Are Four Beatles.





  • Their Birth Dates.

John: October 9th, 1940.

Paul: June 18th, 1942.

George: February 25th (no one is really sure), 1943.

Ringo: July 7th, 1940.

  • Their Real Names.

John: John Winston Lennon.

Paul: James Paul McCartney.

George: George Harold Harrison.

Ringo:  Richard Starkey.

  • All About Them.

John: John was an asshole, but also a saint. He’s extremely intelligent. He fought for peace with the Bed-In and he made songs such as Imagine and Give Peace A Chance. He is one of the most popular activists. People know him as a hippie who was against the government and stuff like that. He was never scared to say what he thought. He was rude, yes, but he was honest. The government wanted to kick him out of the USA (watch The US vs John Lennon if you want to learn more) because he was convincing people to start breaking the rules. John wasn’t a good parent at all during his Beatles years. He had a son, Julian, and he didn’t take care of him often. He used the excuse to be famous to not see his family. He cheated on his wife, Cynthia, and probably thought he had had the obligation to marry her because he had made her pregnant. He could be violent, rude, he often only thought about himself and was always angry. He was also really depressed, he had a difficult childhood. His parents abandoned him when he was young, so he had to live with his aunt Mimi. Later he found his mother, and she learned him how to play music. They were getting closer and closer but she tragically died in a car accident. Since that moment John felt truly abandoned and he wrote her the song ‘’Julia’’. He also had a best friend, Stuart, who died suddenly in 1962 from an aneurysm. John always felt guilty of Stuart’s death, since they had a fight and he thought it was his fault if his friend had headaches all the time. To conclude, John Lennon was a rude person, mean, even cruel sometimes, but inside he was insecure, he needed love and he could be a really good person. We all have a good and a bad side, and John truly tried to become a better person before he died. Unfortunately he didn’t have the time.

Paul: Paul is rather the sassy one, I must say. He can be hypocrite in a certain way. He was really nice with the interviewers and he always looked pretty for the cameras, but when he didn’t have what he wanted, he wasn’t happy. He slept with more than 500 women in his Beatles years, even though he had a girlfriend, and stuff like that. But he is also a really good person. He is vegetarian, he’s a very peaceful old man, and he’s nice to everyone. He’s also really hot for a 73 years old grandpa. And when he’s in love, he will never hurt a woman. For example, Linda. She was the love of his life, and he loved her deeply. He never cheated on her. They stayed together for 20 years! He fought for animals rights, he is also an activist. He’s like the greatest musician in the world. Sir Paul McCartney is extremely important in the society. He’s not a nobody. He never stopped doing music since 1957, and he will probably never will. After the Beatles’s break-up, Paul had no motivation to get up in the morning. He was always drinking and sleeping. But with the help from Linda, he started a band, Wings, and they got really popular. 

George: George was the calm one. He was a beautiful human being. He never wanted to be a rock star. He just liked playing music. He didn’t like popularity. He was reserved. He was also the youngest of the Beatles, so of course they sometimes made fun of him for that. He had a really sexy accent, and he wasn’t always starving for attention. Unfortunately he didn’t write enough songs in the albums, but the ones he wrote got really popular. He met his first wife, Pattie, in 1964. They stayed together for 10 years. They were really in love, but George got really obsessed with Hinduism. He went to India, visited places, met gurus and psychedelic drugs encouraged his path to meditation and Hinduism. He wrote a lot of religious songs like My Sweet Lord. Family was also really important for him. He met his second wife, Olivia, in 1978 and they got a child, Dhani. George could be mean sometimes but he was really peaceful, and he wasn’t full of himself. He even wondered why people loved him so much. He was an angel who didn’t deserve pain.

Ringo: Ringo is a peace and love teenager. He’s 75, but he acts like a kid. If you want a proof, look at his Twitter. He’s really funny and really sweet. Since his Beatles years, Ringo chills. He’s relax. He is a drummer and everyone loves him. He made a lot of mistakes. He could be violent, he is alcoholic, he had problems with drugs but he finally took care of himself and now he’s clean. I think he is the nicest Beatle. He is really sweet and he deserves protection. You just can’t hate Ringo. He made songs like With A Little Help From My Friends, Yellow Submarine and Octopus’s Garden, which are great. There’s not a lot to say, but he deserves a lot of LOVE. Send him a nice message on Twitter. Tell him that he’s your favorite drummer. Protect him.

In General: They were all assholes okay. But great assholes. 

  • Their Girlfriends/Wives.

John: Cynthia Powell, Yoko Ono, May Pang.

Paul: Dot Rhone, Jane Asher, Linda Eastman, Heather Mills, Nancy Shevell.

George: Pattie Boyd, Olivia Trinidad Arias.

Ringo: Maureen Cox, Barbara Bach.

  • Important Thing.


and there’s also nudes of him. check by yourself.

  • Movies By Them.
  1. A Hard Day’s Night (1964).
  2. Help! (1965).
  3. Magical Mystery Tour (1967).
  4. Yellow Submarine (1968).
  5. Let It Be (1969).

WARNING: You need to know that Magical Mystery Tour is really awkward and no one knows what the fuck is going on. But they’re hot, so it’s okay.

so idk man, i guess it’s enough. if there’s something else you need to know, just ask me. it took me a lot of time to do this so yeah. welcome!

PS: this fandom is very awkward. just enjoy the beatles and ignore the drama. that’s an advice. 

and once you enter the fandom, there’s no escape. you’re stuck forever.

anonymous asked:

I have to admit I didn't think it would be a good idea having DD as Felicity's dad either at first but the more I thought about the story possibilities and how it would connect all three members of the team I started to love the idea of the core members having that big of a connection to the villain. I also love the idea of Diggle and Felicity having a little conflict and a actual story together which means more focus on that relationship. Also, I'm not buying Felicity's dad as some...

Hi, Anon!

I can agree that there are some intriguing story possibilities for Team Arrow if Damien Darhk is Felicity’s father, and I have come to terms with the fact that I may be dining on crow come October…but I’m sticking to my story. In light of the news that Neal McDonough was cast as Darhk and as one of the approximately four people who don’t want him to be Felicity’s dad, I’m going to revisit my reasons for why.

Sidebar: If you’d like to imagine me writing this as Grandpa Simpson shaking his fist at a cloud, I can’t say that I blame you.

1. The Stories Don’t Match

One of my two biggest practical problems with the theory that Damien Darhk could be Felicity’s father is that the facts don’t jive with what we know of him as a villain and what we know of Felicity’s childhood.

According to Ra’s al Ghul - who was admittedly a few arrows short of a full quiver - Damien Darhk was a contemporary who has been on the run for the past couple of centuries, living off of stolen rations from a Nanda Parbat Lazarus Pit. According to “My Name Is Oliver Queen,” Darhk has an army of minions to do his bidding. We can surmise that Darhk is basically an evil genius who has spent many years building an evil empire to do evil deeds. He seems to have the potential to be the biggest and baddest Big Bad of Arrow thus far.

According to Felicity in 2x14 and 3x05, her father was around until she was six years old and she has clear memories of the circumstances surrounding his departure from her life. According to Donna in 3x18, Felicity’s father would have told Felicity to bend the rules to save her boyfriend; according to Felicity in 3x18, her father would have been arrested if he’d been present to tell her anything. Neither woman gave the impression that he had done anything particularly despicable to break the law. He seems more likely to have been more of a smalltime cyber crook than an evil genius.

2. The Timing Doesn’t Work

My second big practical problem with the theory of Damien Darhk being Felicity’s father is that the timing doesn’t work. If her father was around and involved with her upbringing for the first six years of her life as 3x05 indicated, he would naturally have to have been based in Las Vegas for quite some time. It’s difficult for me to reconcile the computer genius who spent the first half of the 1990s in Vegas with a cocktail waitress wife and young daughter could be the same man who had been a contemporary of Ra’s al Ghul and had spent the intervening years since departing Nanda Parbat developing HIVE.

3. It’s Contrived

As easy as it is to throw “contrivance” around as an excuse for disapproving of anything in a work of fiction, I can’t help but think that the retroactive continuity required to match the stories and gloss over the timing issues would weaken the twist. I’m afraid that it would feel like another “Gotcha!” for the sake of a “Gotcha!” It’s already a stretch that the man behind the assassination of Andy Diggle happens to be the next supervillain to step up to the plate to oppose Oliver, and giving him a close personal connection to the third member of Team Arrow would be hard to swallow.

4. It’s Not Necessary

This is really a case of personal preference, but I would rather that Felicity’s father not be a supervillain or a superhero or a messiah or anything extraordinary. I see her as the Hermione Granger of Team Arrow. She’s remarkable for her intelligence and bravery and loyalty without being tied into the overall arc by any sort of destiny. I like Felicity as a happy accident that life happened to throw Oliver and Digg’s way. Just as I don’t think that a character should require a mask or weapon to qualify as a hero, I don’t think that a character should require an enormous skeleton in the closet to be complex. She deserves a meaty storyline, but I would prefer if it were one that developed out of goings-on in the present instead of melodrama from her past. She already had that with Cooper. Let her be proactive now rather than reactive to before.

5. Felicity’s Dad Wouldn’t Be About Her

If Damien Darhk is Felicity’s father, her story as the abandoned daughter who rose above her circumstances to become extraordinary will be lost in the drama of the Big Bad taking on the hero. After Season 3’s Felicity arc ended up revolving around Ray Palmer’s antics, her Season 4 arc should revolve around her. Damien Darhk as her dad would take away that possibility.

6. I Don’t Trust The Writers

Frankly, after the Ray Palmer fiasco of Season 3 that nearly destroyed Felicity, I don’t particularly trust the writers to find a way to write Felicity into a storyline opposite a new central character without losing her personality in the rush to fill in a backstory. Donna Smoak was a success in Felicity’s arc because she was written for Felicity; Ray was a failure in Felicity’s arc because Felicity was written for him. I’d have more faith in the writers if the mysterious Papa Smoak were written as a personal nemesis for Felicity rather than the supervillain for the entire season.

I would love for Papa Smoak to be an underling in HIVE who joined up after fleeing from the law in Vegas. He can even be one of Damien Darhk’s most trusted minions. It could connect her father enough to the main arc to incite conflict between Felicity and Diggle - perhaps Diggle wanting to take down the entire infrastructure of HIVE and Felicity wanting her father spared despite everything - without making him about Oliver. As a presence in HIVE, he could still connect all three members to the villain without requiring retroactive continuity to do so. I think it would be fascinating for her dad to be her dark mirror within HIVE. Foiling the tech guru to the villain against the tech guru to the hero and throwing in a family connection would be fabulous.

That said, if Season 4 manages to pull off the twist to somehow make me take back all of my objections, I will happily dine on crow.