i'm in a glass of emotion

3

Today, Home turns two years old ♥

(And I thought I’d wrap it up in three months… Whoops)! Thank you for your constant support, patience, and kudos (all 12,700 of them?)!! This project has really gotten me through some tough anxiety (and lupus, apparently) whilst introducing me to the wonderful, talented, empathetic, and creative sterek fandom. I’m honored to be friends with so many of you *hugs*

The final chapter is still in progress, as is book!Home! I’m eager to share both with you soon. ♥

okay listen. everyday, trying-to-fit-in kara kills me. the glasses, the flats, the argyle sweaters, it kills me. she is the embodiment of “too pure, too good” and it is really too much for me to handle. it’s all to try and blend in and seem insignificant, but guess what?? kara could be wearing camouflage and she would still stand out bc who smiles that much? whose eyes light up like that when they see potstickers for christ’s sake?? kara is so observant that she probably knows the birthdays of all the employees in the office at catco and gets them a card or a donut or something, and she notices because she cares so much about everyone. like she wants to make sure no one feels left out or forgotten and loves to make people feel special. she tries so hard to blend in but she’s too kind, too thoughtful, too bright to ever be anything but remarkable. and that has nothing to do with supergirl, that’s just kara being kara.

Originally posted by thequeenofdrama

“You know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you [15 years] ago, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

HE STILL KNOWS THEY’RE SOUL MATES AND HIS HEART IS WAITING–HOPING–FOR THE DAY RORY KNOWS IT, TOO. *nobody touch me*

1) I’m dead
2) Why is he so handsome?!
3) His bow tie is twisted but I’m sure Jensen took care of it during one of their bathroom breaks
4)HE IS STILL WEARING THE SOLIDARITY SAFETY PIN
5) I love him so much for sticking to his beliefs
6) His hair!!! Someone got a haircut and it looks like sex hair
7) I want to know if he got emotional like when he attended Jared’s and Gen’s wedding
8) I hate those wine glasses because they are blocking my view of his gorgeous hands
9) I can’t help but have Destiel wedding au feels
10) I need more pics of Misha in a tux

Sometimes poly just hurts.

Sometimes it hurts because of things that are specific to poly. Sometimes it hurts for the same reasons that love in general can hurt, mono or poly, but it hurts in that way even more if you have more love in your life.

Sometimes it just feels like too much all at once. Not too much bad, just too much. Too much love and too many kisses and too many friends and activities. Too much stimulation. Too much new, too much old, too much potential pain, too much that could go wrong, too much that isn’t going wrong right now. Too many people involved. Too many hearts, too many minds.

Too much to have. Too much to lose.

Major coincidence in Crestwood, soul crushed...

So last night, I had a major wtf moment in Crestwood, post-breakup. It was a series of soul-crushing coincidences, and I needed to share…

It hasn’t been that long since Solas removed my Lavellan’s vallaslin and then made everything terrible. I’ve been killing a lot of time as Lavellan licks her wounds, and somehow, last night as I’m playing, everybody (Quiz, Sera, Cole, and, yes, Solas) just ends up back in Crestwood, on a mission to kill a wyvern for a nice lady named Judith. The quest itself is easy. But the moment the wyvern is dead, Lavellan looks up and sees this:

Cue first moment of major surprise. I must have missed this on my last Lavellan, as I really had no idea you could return to the exact place where Solas plays out his cowardice. It then felt somehow extra shitty and ironic that the title of the quest that brings her here is “Wyrm Hole.” Could that title possibly be a coincidence? Is this just Weekes again, fucking with us? Wyrm Hole? Because that’s exactly what it felt like to me: time travel, diving through a worm hole and waking up in the past.

Anyway. That’s only the beginning.

At this point, Lavellan is feeling stung, surprised, hurt all over again, awkward (because Solas is there), and frankly, a little sweaty. She is brash and hates to wallow, and so she’s ready to go. But one of those creepy murals catches her eye, over behind the waterfall–and like, I personally can’t resist that. So she goes to check it out, and as she’s walking over to the waterfall, Cole just…starts talking. This happens (I apologize for the quality–I’ve never actually used any of my game footage before on youtube and kind of suck):

Notice how she just stops like, dead in her tracks. That’s me, dying a little inside. I was never able to trigger this banter with my first Lavellan at all, but here it is, now, as Cole recounts their break-up in the exact same spot the break-up occurred. This was just one of those scary perfect storytelling moments for me. Of course Cole would feel it here, the pain, all that’s happened. And of course Solas would be replaying the scene in his mind, in this very moment, this exact place, and Cole would feel his hurt, attempt to deconstruct it and to heal. I mean, I lost my breath a little bit I lost all my breath. The banter triggering was completely random (right?), but it didn’t feel that way. This was one of the coolest, most heartbreaking moments I’ve ever experienced playing any game, ever. That it was a coincidence–how we ended up here, the title of the quest, and the banter itself…that’s something else.

Also, I have heard this banter before on youtube, but the version I’ve heard has always had a different Solas line, which is–

Solas: You cannot heal this, Cole. Please, let it go.

But my Lavellan was hurt and angry in Crestwood (I’ve written more about this here). She shoved him around, dared him to tell her he doesn’t care. And so–

Solas: You cannot heal this, Cole. Let her carry her anger in peace.

Ugh. This line just felt really…strong. It was careful, attentive. It’s totally keyed into her emotional state, post-breakup, and the fact that Solas is weirdly mindful (and respectful) of her anger makes it just all the more hurtful, especially given the setting, and everything else. “Let her be angry, Cole. It is her anger to bear. And I deserve it all.”

I just…

Originally posted by esuerc

…I needed to share that. <3

Saturday Six (+ Five)

I felt a Sunday Six would be disingenuous since this is well over six lines (or paragraphs? I don’t actually know which it’s supposed to be lol), but here’s Darth Saddest getting his kicks out of pulling a Wednesday Addams on a poor Rebel medic who’s wondering what she did to deserve this flaming tire heap.


“Your attention is unnecessary.”

The rangy young woman with plain, bird-like features and far too many lines around her eyes for someone her age scowled up into Anakin’s mask.  “Trust me, Lord Vader, we don’t need more motivation not to treat you.”

The medic had accompanied him to the brig - apparently leaving him in sick bay near the most vulnerable members of the Rebellion had been too unseemly a notion, and Anakin was not about to argue with them.  He was not in any pain he did not regularly experience, and there was no immediate need to have his full mobility restored.  Impatience and resentment simmered beneath his indifference at being examined while his son should have been the one already receiving care.

“Without access to my records, this is an exercise in futility - ”

Quiet!” the woman snapped, and Anakin complied with a mixture of irritable amusement that she had the spine to do so.  The tension in her frame betrayed her nervousness at having been assigned such a daunting task, but she was otherwise beyond caring.  With a loud exasperated sigh she gave up and dropped her medisensor to make some adjustments, as she’d realized that its standard settings were not going to penetrate his armor and suit.

Beneath the mask Anakin allowed himself a smug half-smile; he could have made that suggestion earlier, but that would make things easier, of course.

Bringing the medisensor back up, she began a slow sweep of his severed forearm, then stalled.  The frown knitting her brows gradually shifted from anger to confusion, then to disbelief and a dawning horror as the device’s readout picked up more results from his upper arm and torso, well beyond her focus.

“This…these prosthetics…”  Her eyes kept darting back and forth between him and the medisensor’s screen.  “The quality is deplorable.  Where are the sensory…?  The wiring…”  She was actually beginning to look more upset for his sake rather than at him.  Almost scoffing incredulously, she added, “You have active necrosis.”

“A regular inconvenience.  I am…somewhat overdue for a debridement.”

“For injuries of this age?” she asked, outraged.  “How are you…?”  Stunned into silence, she stared straight into his lenses for a good minute before taking a step back and covering her mouth with a hand.  After several more moments of livid contemplation she crossed her arms and said, “You weren’t weighed, but I’d venture you’re close to or more than 130 kilos, from your size and all this nonsense.”  She waved a hand to indicate his armor.  “With your remaining bone density, I don’t know how you still manage to stand, let alone be a sentient weapon of mass destruction.  Or how you’re not already septic.  What’s holding you together, space tape and spite?”

A grin pulled at the scar tissue across his jaw and cheekbones.  “You are mostly correct, Lieutenant.”

Guys… I’m wrecked. I’m not even kidding. My whole BEING is aching all over - like hell… Jfc…

I’ve got literally NO CHILL when it comes to Bellamy Blake. When he cries, I am crying. When he screams, I’m screaming – yelling at my screen and want to throw the whole goddamn labby out of my window… He suffers like a whipped dog – and I’m in physical pain watching it.

There never was an actor/actress before, who had that huge affect on me. Not that I didn’t know already, that Bob Morley’s an outstanding actor. But this was… I have goose bumps. And I’m still shaking. His screams… his screams, so desperate and so lost, so hoarse and broken, as if he’s literally got not enough air in his lungs anymore, as if someone ripped his very soul into tiny little pieces… He’s so broken, and I am too… All the awards to Mr. Morley… I don’t know how he always manages to bring me to the verge of… of EVERYTHING with his acting skills. He’s such a gift – for the show, for us, for the world. I’m so excited to watch Bellamy grow into his leading role in the show, shaped by all his experiences and sufferings,  - and to see Bobby becoming more and more the well praised, worldwide known, loved and appreciated actor that he deserves to be. Watch him coming, guys. We are the witnesses. I’m so proud. I’m so wrecked and exhausted, but this was so good at the same time. I’m…

I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to break my heart like fragile glass upon the words that they tell me. I don’t want to fall in love. But now there’s this ache that I can’t exactly explain because although I don’t want to fall in love, I want to fall in love with you. I want to watch the color of your eyes change as the sky does, I want to watch them shift from that fantastic green to the glittering gold that lies just below them. I want to see you smile and make your stupid jokes that aren’t funny but always make me laugh, I want to see the red in your cheeks rise with emotion. I want to feel your hair that is like burnished gold personified. When I heard your voice when you were about to go to sleep I felt something dangerous because I know I wouldn’t exactly mind falling asleep next to you. When I look at you I feel something dangerous because I know that if we were to sit in front of the most beautiful sunset that man had ever seen, my eyes would still be on you. I want to know what makes you tick and what makes you smile, I want to know your favorite movie and if you prefer oceans to forests or vice versa. I want you to be happy. When you don’t seem happy like you always do, I feel something dangerous, because I want so dearly to give you something that’d make you so. And that’s the most dangerous thing of all. Because although I don’t want to fall in love, I want that something to be me.
—  a.p. (10.6.16) I don’t want to fall in love, I want to fall in love with you

The violin scene at the end of The Final Problem is truly one of the most impactful moments (if not the most) in all of BBC Sherlock. I honestly am still speechless that Moftiss wrote something so profound. Eurus was beyond communication with the outside world after the events of this episode, back to the untouchable genius in her glass cage. But Sherlock. Sherlock, this incredible and kind man, who had lost so much to this woman, understood her and still reached out to help. He wasn’t encouraging her to play her own song, he was initiating a duet–so she wasn’t alone, even in her music. It was a conversation, it was understanding, it was connection. This man went beyond words, where others had failed and stopped trying, and showed her that she wasn’t alone. Sherlock has become- or perhaps he always was- one of the best men I’ve ever seen.

He made me fall in love with myself, more than I ever loved him.
He taught me that being just me was okay, he gave me that pair of glasses I was desperately looking for. And then he took them away but I had everything memorized by then.
—  giulswrites 
Come Back to Me (Cullen x Lavellan)

Okay, so this is the first fic I’ve actually ever posted on here, so…yeah. Hopefully it doesn’t suck too much lol. I’ve just been having a lot of feels about Cullen and my primary Inquisitor lately, and then this scenario popped into my head, and I really liked the idea, so I thought I would share it with my fellow Cullenites and/or Cullavellan shippers. Hope you like it. :)

Pairing: Cullen & Kala Lavellan (SFW)


Cullen stared at the report on his desk in front of him, trying to read it, and yet not seeing the words at all. It had been so hard for him to concentrate on anything lately. How could he be expected to get any work done when nobody had heard from Kala in weeks? Maker, this was so unlike her. She always sent word back every few days or so, no matter where she had gone or for what purpose. What if something had happened to her? What if she was injured, or had gotten separated from Dorian and Bull and Sera and was wandering around the Hissing Wastes all by herself, completely lost?

The very thought of it was enough to drive him nearly mad with worry.

He had been there to see them off when they left. She had turned to him and smiled faintly and kissed his cheek, but she must have sensed his concern, because she had told him not to worry, that she would be fine, everything would be alright and nothing would stop her from coming back to him after she had done what she needed to do.

Keep reading