i'm here to destroy your evening

Okay, I’m late, even with American time zones, but happy birthday @may12324 ! Her beautiful Willa Cousland with Leliana and Alistair

i know i’m supposed to educate, educate, educate. that nonviolence and pleading and praying and explaining until my tongue turns numb is the face of activism as it stands. that my rage would deny my message. that lashing out would invalidate my pain. that if i step out of line those who “would have” listened are suddenly against me. 

“congrats,” he says on facebook, “i was an ally. i see now that gay people are just as awful as everyone said. hope you burn in hell.” 

he’s replying to a comment that said “straight people are crazy”. 

we kneel, we’re disrespectful. we rally, we’re rioting. we speak out and we’re sent death threats. it’s very tiring to always have to be quiet. it’s very tiring when they like you being quiet, because it makes it easy for you to be ignored. i’m just a voice on the internet, what do i know about anything? just the other day a man sent me a message telling me i was “a bullying selfish bitch”. i mean a personal direct message that was hostile and invasive. 

that’s the thing. i’m supposed to turn the other cheek. that i take literal violence against me and my kind and make the best of it. please don’t hit me. please don’t kill me. if i shout you down, i’m asking for it. i don’t know. i’ve been abused before. maybe that’s why it’s not unfamiliar as an idea. the fist comes down if i ask too loudly. when i’m complaining i’m whining. that the best way to my abuser’s heart is just to be good and kind and get out by living. 

the thing is that there’s no changing an abuser. they only realize they’re abusive when another person they respect tells them it’s true. my voice means nothing to them until then. i’m just tired. i’m tired of every single post begging for people to listen, and every single person who ignores it. i’m tired. i’m tired. the people who are against me aren’t here to be educated, they’re not here to debate in gentle terms, they’re here to destroy me. 

how do i get it back. how do i believe in other people again. how do i learn how to sit quietly and do my best. how do i change the minds of people who question if i’m even a person. and why is that my job. 

“male tears?” he writes, “fuck women. what have men ever done to you? i hope a man puts you in your place one day.”

The signs as 'Orphan Black' quotes
  • Aries: If you betray us again, I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career. And I love you, too.
  • Taurus: I could kill for some ice cream.
  • Gemini: I'm so... bored.
  • Cancer: I'm just here for my kids and I'm sorry that I ruined the play with my drinking.
  • Leo: This girl looks nothing like me. Like, first of all, my tits are way bigger, and secondly, even if you could drag a comb through that hair, she's like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a 10.
  • Virgo: I've been self-aware since I was a child.
  • Libra: I can handle it. Don't be a bitch.
  • Scorpio: You know, my security concerns, they're not jealousy. I'm French. We enjoy lovers.
  • Sagittarius: I just want to make, like, crazy science with you.
  • Capricorn: Whenever somebody talks about the future, I always say 'Show, don't tell.’
  • Aquarius: Da Vinci robbed graves to study anatomy. In a hundred years, they'll call me a pioneer.
  • Pisces: No, I'm not fine. Why do weird things keep happening to me?
4

“That right there - that’s what I’ve always liked about you…” Thawne started with a wicked smirk curling at his top lip to reveal a set of teeth that suddenly seemed too sharp. “You’re just too smart for you’re own good.”

“Dr. Wells…” You weren’t sure how to get out of this, but playing dumb seemed to be the way to go even though you were currently handcuffed in a room you never knew existed in S.T.A.R. Labs. You still had to try. Quickly forcing a laugh that sounded too nervous for your liking, you asked, “Are you feeling okay? I think you’ve been working too-”

“Stop.” He growled. “You know who I am, don’t you? Say it.” 

You pursed your lips and shook your head chaotically in a last attempt to lie to the man who had the power to reach through your body and stop your heart…

“Go on…” He urged through a rough whisper, his voice menacing and dark. “Say it.”

“Eobard Thawne.” You managed in a jittery tone… “Are you going to kill me?”

“Oh, no.” He said with a dark laugh. “I’ve got bigger plans for you…”

(X) (X) (~♫♪~) (~ Read One Shot Here ~)

In Honor of Brian May’s birthday let’s talk about the songs he wrote:
  • ‘39: Country Music
  • All Dead, All Dead: Literally the song with he most feels
  • Brighton Rock: RAD GUITAR SOLO
  • Dancer: Disco Daddy
  • Dead On Time: Really fast rock and roll
  • Dear Friends: OUch
  • Doing All Right: Soft melodic reminder of peace
  • Dragon Attack: Dank bassline
  • Dreamer's Ball: really formal touch to rock
  • Fat Bottomed Girls: HE LUH DIS FAT ASSSS
  • Father to Son: but who really knows what this song is about?
  • Good Company: Master of Ukulele
  • Hammer to Fall: He made Live AID possible
  • I Go Crazy: All he gotta do is think about you!!
  • I Want It All: Heavy Metal Brian
  • It's Late: MORE THAN ONE GUITAR SOLO
  • Keep Yourself Alive: gives Roger a chance to get his own solo
  • Las Palabras de Amor: A song he wrote not in English
  • Leaving Home Ain't Easy: im guessing it was hard for him to leave home
  • Let Me In Your Heart Again: that one song thats really good but no one talks about
  • Long Away: but holy shit this one is really sweet and chill???
  • Lost Opportunity: its like a song you would hear at an empty bar at 2 in the morning
  • The Night Comes Down: beautiful harmonies
  • No-One But You: Let's not talk about that one
  • Now I'm Here: Now im there
  • Procession: really classy but still intimidating vibes of the guitar
  • The Prophet's Song: Really scary opera music
  • Put Out the Fire: Make him destroy the Second Amendment
  • Sail Away, Sweet Sister: he didnt even have a sister
  • Save Me: "im naked and far from home"
  • Scandal: subtle middle finger to the press/paparazzi
  • See What a Fool I've Been: im gonna fight whoever broke his heart to make him write this song
  • Storm Trooper in Stilettos: Literally if you want to woe a Queen fan sing this song to her
  • Sleeping on the Sidewalk: when he switched to Alternative Music
  • Some Day, One Day: That one song from when Queen visited Japan
  • Son & Daughter: I. WANT. YOUUUUUU
  • Sweet Lady: youd expect the song to be nice and calm but dont underestimate it
  • Tear It Up: the song that lets you know Brian had a wild side
  • Teo Torriatte: Second song not in English because he's so smart
  • Tie Your Mother Down: no respect for your mother
  • Too Much Love Will Kill You: OUch Part 2
  • We Will Rock You: he was optimistic at sports rallies as a kid
  • White Man: i actually forgot about this song
  • White Queen: The really cute song for his first love
  • Who Wants to Live Forever: Don't hurt me like this
The Signs as Asking Alexandria [SU&S] Lyrics
  • Aries: Cross my heart, I hope you die. Left by the roadside. Karma's a bitch, right? [Alerion]
  • Taurus: Your knife, my back! My gun, your head! [The Final Episode {Let's Change the Channel)]
  • Gemini: What burns the most is that you lied right to my face! And, still, I hold your hand to set you free! [A Candlelit Dinner With Inamorta]
  • Cancer: You're drowning in the back room, so this is what it feels to waltz? [Nobody Don't Dance No More]
  • Leo: Oh, the bullet's gone! I take this spade, I slit your throat! You fall into your grave! [Hey There, Mr. Brooks!]
  • Virgo: So now this is over and the world falls upon me. I never expected to be here alone. The shadows are forming as we burst into flames. Why does this end this way? [If You Can't Ride Two Horses At Once...Then You Should Get Out Of The Circus]
  • Libra: Spilling every lie you've spilled before, still I'm not forgiving you. [A Single Moment Of Sincerity]
  • Scorpio: Clothes trailing from the backdoor to the bedroom, and I don't even know your name. Give me all you've got. Make this night worth my time. [Not The American Average]
  • Sagittarius: The fall, will destroy at the end of it all, and after it all, the hopes of the sinners will lose hope and break for me! [I Used To Have A Best Friend (But Then He Gave Me An STD)]
  • Capricorn: How stubborn are the scars when they won't fade away? Or just a gentle reminder that now are better days? [A Prophecy]
  • Aquarius: The shell of a boy of the man that I used to be, a monkey in a man suit! I stand here as nothing to you. Wind me up and watch me go. [I Was Once, Possibly, Maybe, Perhaps A Cowboy King]
  • Pisces: We'll drink you under the fucking table! Rack 'em up! Put 'em down! [When Everyday's The Weekend]
Volpina summed up (saw someone do this and wanted a go at it)
  • *Gabriel Agreste being a whiny bitch as always*
  • Adrien: shit what's going on in there
  • *Gabriel accidentally reveals his secret giant ass safe*
  • Adrien: My oh my what do we have here
  • Plagg: LET'S OPEN IT
  • Adrien: Nah homie we got school n shit dad would be fukign pissed
  • Plagg: how 'bout I do anyway
  • Adrien: gdi Plagg
  • Plagg: OH LOOK A BOOK ON MIRACULOUSES WOWIE
  • Adrien: tf
  • Nathalie: Adrien Agreste I s2g if you're l8 m8 I will wreck you
  • Adrien: ohohoh look at me not being suspicious at all hahaha *lowkey steals book* I'm so forgetful! Silly me let's go
  • At school- *everyone gossiping about Lila*
  • Marinette: who tf
  • Alya: Yeah omg Lila the princess the goddess the queen of my heart the famous one you know? Ladybug totally saved her
  • Marinette: sHE'S ALL OVER MY MAN ALYA THIS IS CODE RED
  • Alya: but she's cool tho and rich n shit
  • Marinette: *watching Lila fukign touch Adrien and flirt him up* oh HAYYLLLLL NAW bitch it's about to get real
  • *Marinette doing some Mission Impossible shit in the library*
  • Tikki: omg Adrien has my sacred book
  • Tikki: Marinette I know I never say this but you gotta steal that shit
  • Marinette: aight but lOOK TIKKI LILA AND ADRIEN ARE BREATHING THE SAME AIR THIS IS A CODE RED
  • Lila: oh hey Adrien Agreste the cute boy whom I now love
  • Lila: oH HEY LOOK A BOOK And it has Ladybug in it oh well-
  • Adrien: lADYBUG IS MY LIFE
  • Adrien: Look at how flawless and perfect and amazing and wonderful and gorgeous and-
  • Lila: eyyy lmao forgot to tell u Ladybug's my side hoe
  • Adrien: *all about that shit*
  • Marinette: whyyy the fuk you lyyinnn, why you always lyyinnn, mmmm oh my god, stop fukin lyyinnn
  • Adrien: *is leave for fencing*
  • Lila: mm lemme just sliiide that book on over here
  • Marinette: tHIEVING BITCH
  • *at le park*
  • Tikki: 'ight I'm going dumpster diving for the book that lILA FUKIGN TOSSED IN THE TRASH
  • Marinette: *eavesdropping*
  • Lila: hey guess what I'm actually Volpina this cool superheroine yea Ladybug is totes lame compared to me
  • Adrien: uh huh okay I never heard of this volpina btich
  • Marinette: TIKKI IMMA SMACK A BITCH UP TIME TO TRANSFORM
  • Ladybug: hey Lila, my best friend. my homie. my side hoe. oops hmm I don't remember you oh waaaiit maybe because you fukign lied?
  • Lila: fuk this shit im out
  • Adrien: hey Ladybug my love my one and only bae why you pissed off
  • Ladybug: *le stares* u kiddign me u saw that shit hell if i'm taking that bs
  • Hawkmoth: hey Lila I h8 ladybutt too how bout we team up and smash that bitch u can even be volpina n shit
  • Volpina: surprise bitch bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • LB: how'd you stop a fukign meteor oh my shit
  • Volpina: yeah i'm like twenty times better than u just sayin
  • Chat: hey look a friend a tomodachi a colleague yay
  • LB: stfu isn't this suspicious
  • Volpina: hey look wowie it's Hawkmoth
  • LB: okay but isn't this suspicious
  • Chat: relax this is normal what's with you ladybug
  • Volpina: hey chat you're kinda hot
  • Chat: bitch ikr
  • LB: tf you flirting with my man? hayylll naw
  • *team splits up*
  • LB: oh look it's Volpina and no Hawkmoth wow boy did I predict this
  • Volpina: hey gimme your miraculous
  • LB: hbu go fuk off
  • Volpina: *destroys building*
  • *pigeon breaks the illusion*
  • LB: whyyy the fuk you lyyinnn, why you always lyyinnn, mmmm oh my god, stop fukin lyyinnn
  • *Chat and LB Skype session*
  • LB: hey so I fuked up here's the address meet me don't be l8 m8
  • Chat: fukign sent me my own address lmao
  • Adrien in his house: hey Lila 1v1 let's talk this out
  • Volpina: see look LB's a lyin hoe I'm the one u looking 4
  • LB: hey guess who's back, back again, yeah I'm Ladybug the real Ladybug all you other heroines are just fakers
  • Adrien: 'ight Plagg ik my plan was shit Transform me
  • Volpina: ooh look im totally original i can clone myself totally hasn't been done b4
  • LB: *destroys illusions* shit where'd she go
  • Volpina: you've been bamboozled bitch and i got Adrien kk baii
  • LB: i mUST SAVE MY PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL
  • Chat: literally me tho i'm right here
  • LB: *is gone*
  • Chat: why tf do i even try *follows*
  • Volpina: hey LB gimme your miraculous or Adrien goes free fallin
  • LB: oh no shit he hates that song nOO HERE LEMME HOOK YOU UP
  • Chat: hoe don't do it
  • Volpina: damn u wrecked my shit k imma retreat now
  • LB: *traps Volpina* say bye bye to your fake ass necklace bithc
  • LB: bye bye pretty Papillion
  • LB: hey Lila i'm sorry i was fukign rude let's shake on it
  • Lila: how about fuk u
  • LB: hey w8 where's Adrien the love of my life my precious cinnamon roll gotta go check on him bye chat
  • Chat: she's so stubborn
  • Chat: i love her
  • *runs home*
  • LB: hey Adrien where u at boii
  • Chat: haha yea im all gud just takin a shower like a doofus
  • LB: oH NO HE'S NAKED BETTER RUN K bye luv u
  • *chat and LB do the head rest on the door thingy crushin my stupid heart*
  • Marinette: look Tikki stealing is wrong
  • Tikki: here c'mere lemme introduce you to this master guy
  • Master Fu: yo LB wassup my young padawan we finally meet
  • Marinette: literally who tf
  • *roll credits*
Note(s) to self:
  • Do not think about Thopmson suddenly throwing his dog tags to Sousa and trying to play it cool like “no it’s nothing” but they both know it’s huge.
  • Do not think about Peggy waking up shaking and crying because she had a nightmare about being the cause of Angie’s death (again).
  • Do not think about Sousa curling up around Thompson’s dog tags and using them as an anchor when things get really bad.
  • Do not think about Angie hugging Peggy just a little tighter to assure her that I’m here, we’re safe.
  • Definitely don’t think about stolen kisses at the office.
  • And by all things holy do not think about Peggy and Angie sharing breakfast together in that huge mansion or curling up together on a rainy evening with hot te-
  • And you’re thinking about it. Well have fun on your roller coaster of lie-destroying feels.
4

 “When I would go to play at the beach as a child, I saw children building sand castles. I wondered why they even bothered, when an incoming wave would just destroy it. I thought it was foolish. The love that you all built up—I wanted to test just how weak your sand castles were. I wanted to be your wave.” -(temptation teaser x coming 7/14)

  • Aaron: Why are you destroying your shirts?
  • Liv: No, I'm not.
  • Aaron: Oi, that's mine.
  • Liv: Yeah, it's a crop top. Suits you. Oh, and I've cut you some shorts as well.
  • Aaron: What's got into you?
  • Liv: Go on, then.
  • Aaron: What?
  • Liv: Kick me out, see if I care.
  • Aaron: Why would I wanna do that?
  • Liv: Look, I really like it here, with you and Chas. Robert even. Gabby'S like my first real mate. I just thought maybe I found somewhere I actually belonged.
  • Aaron: Oi. You belong here.
  • Liv: That's not what you said this morning. Look, if you're gonna kick me out, do it. Why wait till christmas?
  • Aaron: Oh, Liv, I was joking.
  • Liv: You don't joke about kicking me out my own home. Who else wants me?
  • Aaron: Listen, you're my little sister. I'll always look after you.
  • Liv: Like you look after Charity?
  • Aaron: You're not Charity, are you? Honestly, you're going nowhere.
  • Liv: Even if I misbehave?
  • Aaron: You're pathologically incapable of behaving yourself. I worked that out a long time ago. Be as bad as you like, you're staying here with me.
  • Liv: Really?
  • Aaron: Really. You've made your point. Oh, that's a nice tank top, innit?
  • Liv: It's a jumper.
  • Aaron: Is it? Not any more, it's not.
  • Liv: Don't you dare!
  • Aaron: "Don't you dare!"
How the FT anime should end
  • Natsu: There you are, Zeref! I have been looking all over for you!
  • Zeref: Ah, Natsu. I have long awaited your arrival here to meet me.
  • Natsu: I got a bone to pick with you -
  • Zeref: Yes, I know. It's finally time.... you're finally here to kill me.
  • Natsu: ...?
  • Zeref: Just make it quick; I've waited a long time for this. *closes eyes and spreads arms in anticipation*
  • Natsu: ....?
  • Zeref: Come on. Just do it.
  • ....
  • Zeref: You've gotta be so pissed at me Natsu.
  • ....
  • Zeref: Guild hall is destroyed.
  • ....
  • Zeref: Fiore is in ashes.
  • ....
  • Zeref: I've already hurt or killed everyone you care about, even just a little bit.
  • ....
  • Zeref: I've even got Lucy now. I'm totally going to kill her if you don't stop me right now.
  • ....
  • Zeref: I'll do it!
  • ....
  • Zeref: DAMN IT, Natsu! My whole plan is riding on this don't puss out on me now!
  • ....
  • Zeref: Oh come on, the entire damn anime's been leading up to this moment, I've done everything possible to piss you off, and now I'm just STANDING HERE waiting for you to END me-
  • Natsu: *snickers* I see what you did there
  • Zeref: *also snickers*

anonymous asked:

I need to ask this on anon at the fear of losing literally all my friends. But I really feel uncomfortable around male bodied people? Even on here, all the transwomen I've ever interacted with were all very obnoxious and kind of scary. I'm not sure if it's just those particular people or males in general. I've been thinking about radical feminism but literally everyone I'm friends with is a libfem and they will literally destroy me for being transmisogynistic. I just... Don't know what to do.

i am so angry that youre going through this. women have every fucking right to fear males, to be uncomfortable, to set boundaries around males. this is basic shit. the only transmisogyny that exists is trans’ misogyny towards females, which includes trans men…our oppression and male supremacy IS SEX BASED. i hope you find the strength to further question and be able to leave liberal feminism not just for yourself but for women too…liberal feminism is not feminism. its male supremacy repackaged. same w trans actvism. please read my /tagged/trans-ideology and tagged/liberal-feminism and tagged/sex-based-oppression. dont let male supremacists silence you and your completely valid reservations and fears.

Mortal Kombat {Sentence Starters}
  • "I know who you are! I am ready for you!"
  • "We are many. You are one. We will destroy you."
  • "And I'm taking you down, I'm taking you down, and I'm taking you out and I'm taking you out... for dinner."
  • "You will not see the end of this day!"
  • "So, what should we do besides standing around looking pretty?"
  • "I will give you a warrior's death."
  • "I will have my revenge."
  • "I see you doubt yourself, even after your victories."
  • "Easy there, mate. You've had a rough one."
  • "You are certain this will work?"
  • "I would kill you. But that is not my purpose here."
  • "Sure, let's go ruin someone else's life."
  • "Hey, what are you doing out here?"
  • "I've never done this before. It's not like there's a manual."
  • "It is done. Your time has passed."
  • "You're good. Show me more."
  • "I'm not worried. I bet you can win this thing no problem."
  • "Our triumph was not meant to be achieved this way."
  • "What do you think, friend or foe?"
  • "Need help? I specialize in rescuing damsels in distress."
  • "No problem. Who was that guy, anyway?"
  • "So you know about this threat to the world stuff, right?"
  • "Listen I got serious problems here. I'm in no mood to be hit on."
  • "Oh, I got a knack for survival. You, on the other hand, are gonna die here."
My love,
the end of the world is here, and
I wait with baited breath to see
what you will do, and

the stars they are crying for you
to burn as they do, and
I can see it in your eyes that you’re
not planning to survive, and

my arms are outstretched to keep you in
to save what’s left of my soul, and
though the world feels like its rending
it’s only the part with you that breaks, and

I know it’s you that’s shaking the ground
with your rage to topple mountains, and
I don’t care as long as you turn that
gaze on me and destroy me with them, and

you won’t, you never could,
not even for your own sake, and

now the world is ending because
you’re trying to save me too.
—  but without you there’s nothing left of me to save | jocelyn
the walking dead season 5 starters
  • We should never have put up the signs.
  • What the hell did we think was gonna happen?
  • We brought them here.
  • We were trying to do something good. We were being human beings.
  • There's a compound bow and a machete with a red handle. That's what I'm gonna use to kill you.
  • I don't have any friends. I mean, I know people. They're just assholes I stay alive with. I don't have any friends.
  • It's funny how you don't even notice the time go by.
  • Horrible shit just stacks up day after day. You get used to it.
  • I haven't gotten used to it.
  • The signs they were real. It was a sanctuary. People came and took this place.
  • I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence.
  • I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need.
  • I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers.
  • Good news is you're not dead yet.
  • If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.
  • I've been bitten, you stupid pricks! I'm tainted meat!
  • Nightmares end. They shouldn't end who you are. And that is just this dead man's opinion.
  • Sorry I was an asshole.
  • I guess it's easy to make a deal with the devil when you're not the one paying the price.
  • Welcome to the human race, asshole.
  • You said we get to start over.
  • Why don't you say what's really on your mind?
  • I don't think we get to save people anymore.
  • I don't know if I believe in God anymore or heaven, but if I'm going to hell, I'm making damn sure I'm holding it off as long as I can.
  • Your eyes were open, but you didn't want to see. Even though I made you see it. I showed you. But did you adapt? Did you change? No
  • You told me you'd earn your keep.
  • You had no idea what you were talking about, did you?
  • Plan just got dicked!
  • We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.
  • People out there are always looking for an angle. Looking to play on your weakness. They measure you by what they can take from you. By how they can use you to live.
  • You know, everyone's been through it somehow. Everyone.
  • You can never tell anyone, especially your mom. Because if you do one morning you'll wake up and you won't be in your bed.
  • No one will come to help because no one will hear you.
  • The monsters will come.
  • You ever heard about the broken window theory? Boils down to this-- you keep the windows intact, you keep society intact.
  • So you’re aware, I’m on record as stating that I should not be here. You well know that I’m not combat ready or even for that matter combat inclined.
  • God, you're really that much of a coward?
  • Your way is gonna destroy this place. It's gonna get people killed. It's already gotten people killed. And I'm not gonna stand by and just let it happen. If you don't fight, you die.
  • I don't want to lie anymore.
  • Oh, sunshine, you don't get both.
  • I could kill you right now.
  • You're a small, weak nothing. And with the world how it is, you're even weaker.
  • Play your cards right, maybe you don't have to die. And I want my dish back clean when you're done.

OH MY GAWD, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAAAAAT!!! 

I know this photo was taken during some event that involved acting on your part, because the only time when you don’t actually cringe when being touched by bright or unusual colours is when you are playing a character.

And you actually have a smirk here, so there you go: acting for sure. Oscars are coming your way, sir (or Olivier/Tony Awards in this case, I suspect).

Although the clothing has definitely seen better days, you do bring the best out in everyone and everything (yes, you make even inanimate objects want to be better by your mere presence, you little fucker. Could you stop being so perfect for one bloody moment??), so they actually look passable. Even flattering draped across your hot bod exquisite figure. I don’t generally like purple on a man, though, so thankfully your monochromatic tendencies make it unlikely this colour will become reacquainted with your gorgeous self ever again. Thank God.

By the way, OMG THE CUUUUURLS!! I WANNA TOUCH THEEEEM!

And that moustache thingie??? HORRIDIOUS but still beautiful and perfect and ovary destroying. FUCKING ARSEHOLE.

anonymous asked:

I've seen a lot of ppl calling Kate getting obsessed again as character regression of her growth and calling that an assassination. I'm not sorry to say these ppl have no idea how any psychological trauma/disorder works. (ocd, other obsessions, ptsd, depression, alcoholism etc). I suffered trauma when I was young, I've told this story before on your blog too. I was sexually assaulted when I was a child. I dnt even fully remember it but it still stays with me. it has even unconsciously defined(1)

Kate is afraid of exactly that, she knows her *problem* has been triggered again & here to stay and she can’t handle it right now and it might destroy their relationship as well as get him killed. Thus her trying to “save” it for now by distancing herself. She is ruled by that fear thus she is isolating herself, it’s debatable how logical it is, but feelings are not always rational or healthy. Kate let her trauma define her too. It made her highly obsessed with the mission of truth. She went through so much crap and therapy for it, to not get over it but accept it and come to peace with it and learn to handle it. That’s an important distinction. Also she went to therapy multiple times during two different time periods of her life. Already evidence triggers happening to her again before too. 

In terms of triggers and regression, in my own experience I still get triggered and regress. At the most random times. Sometimes I can handle it but other times it consumes me for days and I go into depression, my shell again. Away from my loved ones. It has even unconsciously defined my personality too. I’m a huge introvert, who is highly uncomfortable with new people and I find it very hard to put my trust in people. I also prefer to isolate myself and suffer alone. I have never even told anyone about what happened. And I’m afraid when I get married (if I even find someone, I hope I do) it might badly affect my relationship with my husband. That I won’t be able to trust him, won’t enjoy sex.

 I self loath too because I’m so sick of it affecting me again and again and I hate that I keep letting it affect me and should get over it instead of letting it stay with me forever. But even if I want to, I cant stop these triggers and relapses from happening every time they do. Sometimes yes, but not always. They can happen at any time in my life. I’ve accepted that it won’t ever go away. It will stay with me, I can just learn to accept and handle it and live with it. It’s struggle that I will always have to do. I cant ever let it go completely however much I want to. 

Kate is the same. That’s why she has been triggered and relapsed & to say it assassinated her character is frankly a big insult to her and also especially to those people who suffer psychologically all their life. These people grow and regress and grow again. That’s actually the life of a healthy person. 

Our growth in life is NEVER one directional, we go forward but also back. It’s actually very very real. Also people suffering need help and support. Sometimes they need to be left alone and sometimes they need help badly even when they resist it. Its a huge struggle for them and their loved ones. However, it does not mean they should forever be left alone because they are damaged. They deserve love and support. I want it so badly even when it might be a struggle for me and for my loved ones. If such people don’t have that or someone abandons them it’s the worst.

So I’m glad Castle will not let her struggle alone. Please don’t wish that Kate should be alone and Castle should just leave because she has this struggle for life. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me or even my least Fav person on the planet. Castle is a tv show, I think people think they have wasted their time by watching if some past mistakes or regression happens. That’s fine, they don’t have to like it/enjoy it (I hate my own regressions) but they can’t dismiss these realities and call Kate ooc or a bitch or destroyed as a person because she relapses. She is a fictional character but she is from the human species. She is not perfect like any human and if is character is perfect, frankly they aren’t a good human character. Maybe an alien. These things happen to real and actual human beings. They can happen to Kate too as a human character. 

Sadly, the harsh truth is that this is exactly what happens to people struggling in real life. Its an ugly truth and bitter reality. I guess people who have not suffered trauma or psychologically suffered or have not seen a loved one struggle through it and stuck it out with them just can’t fully ever understand. It’s sad when some people don’t get it at all. I hope me sharing my experience helps these people understand at least somewhat.

I actually don’t have anything to add to this, because I think you are exactly on point, Anon. But I thought people might like to read your story and your thoughts, so here it is in full.