I barely have time to eat with all the new projects and modeling job I have. And yes, I’m back at “the model life” after taking a big big break for eating disorders and bulimia problems. I’ve been carrying these problems for yeaaars, but this time I’m really working on it and I’m going a lot better. I just have to remember that nobody is perfect. Just love yourself guys, be your own King ! Wait… I mean be your own [ Insert your name here ] Lol 💋❤️.
thank everyone for 1k! it’s been like 4 years since i’ve made this blog and it look a long long time to get even 50 followers, but i finally have 1k and i am so so happy! here is a few of my favourite blogs for everyone to check out and i recommend following bc i don’t wanna do a follow forever, but these peeps are cool and even though i don’t know them personally/talk to them, they have fabulous blogs. some of them proberini don’t even know i exist, but some of them are also mutuals 💓
I can’t believe that right now Dean and Cas’ whole narrative rests on Dean not believing Cas would ever choose something over him and Cas being told over and over that his sense of family with the Winchesters is a complete betrayal of what it means to function as an angel (the whole Ishim storyline, humans destroy us). The whole drama of the arc lies in what Cas will do and more importantly, why. And this damn show wouldn’t show us Cas’ WHY of reasoning because it would answer the question as to whether Cas has finally turned a new page, and more importantly, just what chapter he is now on. It doesn’t matter what Cas did, it’s why Cas did it. And it’s the WHY that Dean questions along with the audience.
This whole time Cas has been doing and doing for the Winchesters and as of 12x19 he’s either committed and resigned to his fate or he’s finally seen “the error” of his ways and has realized everything he’s ever done wrong has been because of how he started putting his love of a few humans above all else (and this thinking is what throws everything into chaos for him). I’m pretty much right there with Dean in my worry. I don’t know what Cas saw, but I can’t believe it was anything other than a future that protects Sam and Dean. Because that’s the Cas reasoning Dean (and me) understands. He’s seen it in action enough to know what Cas is all about.
The show has spent significant time making Cas contemplate if his actions have been worth it here at the crossroads of his choices. Cas has been made to feel like a failure specifically because he continues to want what’s best for Sam and Dean. From here, the show can either say that’s worth it for Cas or it’s not anymore. The way this has unfolded really only gives us two developmental avenues: Dean finally asks Cas to stay because of “reasons” (or the Nephilim power boost is gonna enable Cas to save Sam and Dean at the expense of all his grace or something of the like), or the show decides to brush off Cas’ behavior as mind manipulation and everything stays as is (smart money would go to this usual SPN pattern I suppose). There really is no room for the third option: Cas decides to leave the Winchesters for his own good and/or dies (because there’s no coming back from this storyline really, even if Cas survives).
As much as I hate how the show has arranged these pieces, it’s really very clever (and also extremely nerve wracking). There’s no real predictability to the narrative folds as to what Cas mindset or end is gonna be. And the show has gone to great lengths (no outside talk of Misha’s S13 contract) to make our worry over Cas real again. If they did decide to kill him off tho, and they did it by making him “wrong” for choosing to save Dean and Sam time and again, I just don’t see how that ultimately computes with the show’s championship of humanity. It says to the audience, “Cas choose to love humanity, which was bad, so now he must pay the price or else see the error of his ways.” This has never been the show’s message, which is the only reason I don’t believe they’ll go this route. It has to be the other two options, tho Dean’s compounded worry and need to know Cas still chooses him makes no sense if the show is just gonna go the “whoops Luci Jr is Cas’ quasi Amara” route.
I mean. It wouldn’t be the first time this show wasted a B plot but I guess this possibility seems increasingly frustrating considering Dean’s been constantly worried about Cas since he said “Yes” to Lucifer and Cas has been depressed for longer still (with one thing getting more narrative attention than the other but what can you do). To even entertain it’s all gonna be for nothing (Cas being controlled or is “wrong”) has me ready to flip tables. And then there’s Mary, who still “owes” Cas for intervening and saving her (I’m saying she probably sees it this way), who Dean is about to call for support concerning this whole situation since Sam obviously doesn’t know what to say to reassure him.
There’s really no point to this post. Just me outlining the three Cas roads the show can go from here (for partially my own sanity), how two are a waste and how the third can be neatly tied into both the Dean/Mary story and the Dean/Cas one (even if spn’s history says it is the most unlikely) and how at least they gave Sam the gun to fix because really he’s had no other action plot line this year. But hey. At least they aren’t threatening that he’s been wrong to believe what he’s been fighting for all this time and that they might kill him off because there’s really no more story left to retread there (though that hasn’t stopped the show before, as Crowley has been fighting for control of Hell for like the past 4 seasons lol).
and I keep making use of the paintschainer tool because I have no tabletttt and also haven’t had the time or the motivation to use colored pencils. Part of this one was also colored/fixed with SAI, but just veeery lightly hence the crappy quality _(:3」∠)_
The times Lance actually takes notes in classes and the like, they are really neat notes and he kind of has his own system for them. Lots of arrows and aclaratorios and highlighted bits (probably has a dozen colour pens and the like to mark stuff). Once you read it over they are actually pretty easy to understand and almost a bit silly at times cause he likes to add sketches of the situation and they are just stick figures or badly drawn things lol.
If lance took notes during strategy meetings it’d be FULL of arrows pointing here and there and sketches so it’s all there and it’s easy to visualize. He’s a very visual person and needs the pictures/graphics to understand better.