I don't understand extroversion. So I feel the introverted sister. My older sister is more extroverted than I am and sometimes it gets on my nerves, because she's like "let's go out!" And then I say "okay where?" And then she's like " why do I have to come up with stuff all the time?" And in my head I exclaim ,"because your the one who wants to go out!!!!"
Hey, friend. I understand where you’re coming from - as I happen to be the introverted sister in the conversation. I think I understand extroverts a little better than a lot of my fellow introverts, though, probably having to do with my sister being my best friend and us spending a lot of time together. We make allowances for each other. She lets me hang by myself when I want, and occasionally I allow her to drag me out to do things. ;)
So, here are some things to remember and tips to understanding extroverts (and you can apply these to hanging out/understanding pretty much anyone)
They have needs like you do. Not the same needs, but that doesn’t make them any less important or valid. Just because you need time to relax and chill and unwind in quiet seclusion with a book or a cat or a movie or your headphones or all of the above, doesn’t mean that’s what your sister needs.
Have you ever asked if your need to be left alone to recharge “sometimes
gets on her nerves”? Try raising that question sometime. The answer
might surprise you.
Respect their needs. Make allowances for them, just like with anyone
else. If you care for someone, you’re going to go out of your way to
show that. It’s not going to hurt you to cater to someone else for a bit
to make their day a little brighter, trust me. (You will probably feel
exhausted, but actually better about yourself in the end.)
There was the advice, here are the tips.
1. Strategically place your Extrovert in an energizing environment to recharge whenever possible: Introverts
are batteries. They need downtime to recharge. Extroverts are solar
panels. They need to absorb energy from other things to recharge. You
know how you get edgy and uncomfortable and worn down when you’re
overstimulated by people and activity? Extroverts feel the same way when
there is. nothing. for. them. to. do. They can’t stand it. It makes
them physically uncomfortable and can lead to bouts of depression.
2. Sometimes your Extrovert desperately needs attention/activity, but may not know how to address this need: This is when you step in. Extroverts are famous for their ability to look after themselves and blaze their own trails, but even they can’t keep up that pace for long. As an Introvert, you’ve got just as much creativity in your bones as they do - sometimes, arguably but not conclusively, more so. So if your Extrovert flops on your bed and looks at you pleadingly and says “I want to go do something” and sends you a text and adds “but I don’t know whaaaaat!” then it’s your time to make a choice. Keep a list of activities close at hand that both you and your Extrovert enjoy, and whip it out on these very occasions. Be wacky with it. Have some tried-and-true favorites saved, but don’t overuse them:
- window shopping
- pet stores
- cafes (at which you can introvert on a laptop while they extrovert with the noise and people, just be sure not to ignore them!)
- city walks
- and sporty things (like, idk, bowling) or
- sporting events (baseball games!)
-are all good things to put on that list.
3. Many Extroverts, like many Introverts, enjoy a good cuddle. Give your Extrovert plenty of hugs and physical affection. This can do a lot to brighten their day and ensure a healthy relationship.
4. Take your Extrovert along when you go shopping: Have some errands to run? Need to replace those old favorite shoes at last? Bring along your Extrovert. This is the perfect opportunity to spend time together, and to expose your extrovert to the soul-strengthening energy of other people and activity without requiring a full-blown neighborhood block party. Malls are great for this, as there are a lot of people around, but you don’t have to do a lot of interpersonal communication with strangers like you might in another setting.
Note: if you do not have the ability to drive, ask friends or parents to help you get your Extrovert out into the world more. Make family activities out of (or don’t, your choice) and find ways to energize your Extrovert without leaving the house. This can be harder, but doable. Make sure your Extrovert gets to hang with their friends every so often, as this gets them into a new environment and lends quality time to those relationships too.
5. Your Extrovert is NOT “high maintenance”: Your Extrovert requires a good deal of care to be healthy and happy, but no more so than you. When your friends let you be alone for a bit, they are caring about you enough to leave you out as needed. When your Extrovert goes off to do their own thing without you, they are probably taking your introvertedness into account. Introverts also tend to internalize things more than Extroverts. Your Extrovert may often voice opinions, feelings, or problems you think about but keep to yourself. This doesn’t mean you are dealing with them better, or that they are. You just have different methods of facing things, and that’s okay. Talk to your Extrovert about these things as they come up, and remember to continue to participate in the conversation once you’ve got your Extrovert going.
6. If your Extrovert appears sluggish or down, Emergency Measures should be taken IMMEDIATELY: This is it, friend, this is the time when your Extrovert is as their neediest, and it’s possible the lack of stimuli and energy is going to lead them into a depressed emotional state. They require something energizing and fast. Grab the car keys and dash out to the movie theater, or just sit down and ask them about their day and be prepared to listen, and ask for details, encourage the conversation from their side. Extroverts like talking, Introverts like listening - honestly, we should be able to get along just fine. A good cure for this dangerous time is a good dinner out someplace (doesn’t have to be fancy), and a car trip for twenty minutes or so (turn up some tunes if conversation is lacking, this will still help to stimulate your Extrovert) but usually not longer, as your Extrovert can grow bored. Live out in the middle of nowhere? Roll those windows down and take turns shouting at the cows to see if you can get them to react. Live in a metropolis area? Just take a walk down the city streets, maybe buy them some ice cream. (Warning: sugar at this stage can be very beneficial, but can also lead to an extremely hyper state which, if you’re not careful, can lead to a breakdown. Ice cream is good, but make sure to do something afterward to help that energy work through their system - and yours!)
7. Try to say “Yes” to your Extrovert at least as many times as you say “No”:
Why? Because your Extrovert is another human being, equally as
important as you are. If you say no to parties, nights on the town,
double dates, or random cafe visits, make sure you say yes to them too.
Your Extrovert probably knows about your introvertedness and will
respect it more as you respect them.
Your Extrovert will appreciate this, and in the end you will too as you build an awesome relationship and learn about how other people function outside your own personal bubble. Keep your eyes open. ;)
All relationships require some give
and take. Make time for yourself of course, but try to give more than you take.
Extroverts are not more special. Introverts are not more special. They’re just different. We’re all just different. So take care of your Extrovert, and they will take care of you.
I hope this helps! Remember, EXTROVERTS ARE PEOPLE TOO so take care of yours! ;)