i'm hardly working

hey so why are sapphires pretty much nobility but rubies are cheap disposable foot soldiers when they’re the Same Damn Stone

ate-wapakels69  asked:

hello, author of Humans are weird: Balut edition here! I just wanna say I got a mini heartattack when i saw you reblog my post XD

Oh man really? Gosh I hope that was a good mini heartattack, I thought your post was really cool!

I gotta say, if you have any other Humans Are Weird posts about Balut or anything alse, I’d love to see them!

Hey, Puerto Rico? My dudes? What the fuck is going on my dudes

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And later I dreamt that maid again …

Imagine Garrus tucking his kid into bed one night when they ask for a story, and Garrus joins them on the bed and tells them about ‘The Great Adventures of Archy and the Shepard’ - a very child friendly version of his and Shepard’s adventures, not wanting their child to be associated with their past - and he keeps talking long after the child has fallen asleep, recalling all the good times they’ve had together. Then later on when Shepard is looking for Garrus, she finds him snuggled up with the child in bed, and it is the most heartwarming sight she’s ever seen.

someone: how did nicolas flamel and dumbledore create the philosopher’s stone when nicolas is 665 by tps and dumbledore was 100 and something ?
me:

So my year so far is a success. I don’t care what else happens for the rest of it, the beginning was super successful. 

After Yuri On Ice ended, I realised I had friends who shared their names with the main characters, and as a result decided I needed to convince said friends to watch it despite the fact that neither of them have ever had any interest in anime in general. Uri is now almost at the end of the series but has said almost nothing, Viktor has watched two episodes and won’t shut up. So I decided to share some of what Viktor said because I for one find it hilarious (in order of when I remembered the exchanges)

  • “So Yuuri’s reaction to being told a naked, attractive foreigner who might be his idol, I think, was in the family steam bath naked, was to run to the steam bath to watch him be naked?”
  • Upon first seeing Yuri Plisetsky: “Oh my god, did you see him slink around that corner? That was so graceful! Like a cat! OR AN ASSASSIN!”
  • “Are we in Russia? We’re in Russia.”
    Later: “Is it the norm in…what the hell country are we in?”
  • “Everyone’s just yelling at Yuuri in public places.”
  • “They don’t need much to hide Viktor’s doodle, do they?”
  • “The ballerina teacher scares me. She’s too happy.”
  • About Yurio: “Ball of anger. Skating ball of anger. He’s a Skating Ball of Anger. On ice.”
  • Viktor: “So Yuri’s whole plan was to go to Japan and scream Viktor’s name? He knew he was at the Hatetsu Ninja House. Why didn’t he just go to the Hatetsu ninja house and go from there like ‘Where the fuck is Viktor?”
    Henry (Viktor’s friend): “Maybe he didn’t know where the Hatetsu ninja house is.”
    Viktor: “Then he should grab some random Japanese person and go from there like “Where the fuck is Hatetsu Ice Ninja House?!”
  • To the tune of the Carmen Sandiego theme: “Where in the world is Viktor Nikiforov?”
    And “Where in the world is Yuri Plisetsky’s parents?”
  • “This 15-year-old goes to Japan without telling anyone and the only one who cares is his skating coach.”
  • “Old man skating coach is going to have an aneurysm dealing with these…RUSSIAN PUNKS!” *Inane giggling*
  • “Hahaha, Russian punk…what a dumb nickname.”
  • “Viktor gave Yuuri the sexy music because he wants to bone him. And the 15-year-old got the other music because 15-year-olds doing sexy dancing? Ew, no.”
  • Viktor: “Why is Viktor naked?”
    Henry: “Because he’s in an onsen. You wouldn’t go to a public bath fully clothed.”
    Viktor: “…I might…”
  • Viktor: “Yuri is definitely the hangry type.”
    Me: “I dunno, I think he’s just angry.”
    Viktor: “Or maybe he was really hungry when he kicked that bathroom door.”
  • “Honestly, doesn’t he know how rude it is to interrupt someone when they’re having a bathroom cry?”
  • “Drop-kicking someone in the face is a national greeting in Russia.”
  • Viktor, about the triplets: “Oh god, what the fuck are those?”
    Me (being a hypocrite because I keep calling them gremlins): “Children.”
    Viktor: “…Ew, children. Children, ew.”
  • “Ew, people. Ew, press conference. Ew, Viktor Nikiforov.”
  • In a Batman voice (While physically shaking Henry): “WHERE IS VIKTOR NIKIFOROV? WHERE IS HE?!”
  • About Christophe, during the credits: “I have found best character.”
  • “Why is he eating victory food when he hasn’t victoried?”
  • About Georgi: “Who’s this guy standing like he’s the hottest man alive?”
    *Silence*
    “He’s probably the hottest man alive.”

Part 2 (since people requested it)

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Happy Birthday Reiji!

I have to get up at 8:30 in a few hours, but watching the first two sets in Haikyuu’s third season was worth it. :3

fun facts:

  • pitting writers against each other isn’t fun
  • people post about AUs they’re creating because they’re excited! it’s fun! it’s new! it’s becoming real! this is a really great thing, so it should be encouraged and not accused of being done as a way of ‘trying to be popular’ (i’m just????)
  • discouraging creation (unless the creation is offensive or harmful) isn’t nice. instead of doing that, try doing something nice instead (hold the door open for someone, cook someone dinner, play with a dog, pay for someone’s coffee at the drive-thru, etc)
  • one author does not own a ship????? (that’s it i have nothing else to say on this point because i just dont get it idk how that even would make sense)
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I need practice drawing realistic faces, so here is Joshua in a beanie.

See more of my art here! ^_^

  • Greg: So, what do you think?
  • Sherlock: *watching Molly* Mmm.
  • Greg: Go on, then. I'll take notes.
  • Sherlock: *looks at body; clears throat* Male youth, obvious fake ID so teen. Single fatal gunshot wound to the, um...*glances at Molly* ...arse.
  • Greg: Eh?
  • Sherlock: *blushing* Uh, heart. Instant death.
  • Greg: Execution? Common in gangs.
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Molly: Have you two finished?
  • Greg: *smirking* Yeah, I have...I don't know about lover boy, here.
  • Sherlock: Very mature, Jeremy.
  • Greg: So, are you going to tell her you-
  • Sherlock: *pushing Greg* Goodbye, James, have a nice day.
  • Molly: What was that about?
  • Sherlock: *quickly* No idea. Coffee?
  • Molly: Ok but you're buying...and Sherlock?
  • Sherlock: Hmm?
  • Molly: *smiling* Heart. Nice recovery.
  • Sherlock: ...
  • Sherlock: *embarrassed*