“No, no, I didn’t rape her. A person has to be conscious to be raped. She was still unconscious. I made love to her.
Then I held her close to me. For the longest time, I held her close to me. It was as if the two of us were having a very personal, intimate experience. You need to understand, at that moment, she was the person I had made love to so many hundreds of times in fantasy. All of the time I was physically with her, I was also with her in my fantasy. Half fantasy, half reality. But this time it was with an actual body. Not just an image. This fantasy with an actual body was more real than any intimate moment I had ever experienced. I didn’t know her name yet I felt I loved her deeply. I held her in my arms and gently rocked her back and forth. Again and again I told her that everything would be all right.
[…]As I held this girl, she began to come around. I knew that if she did live she would have serious damage to her brain. I couldn’t allow that so I put my hands around her neck and ended any more suffering that she would have to go through.”
- Excerpt from an interview between Ted Bundy and Dr. Al Carlisle, featured in Carlisle’s “I’m Not Guilty.” Notice how Bundy cruelly justifies the acts of rape and subsequent murder.
In several interviews with Dr. Carlisle, Bundy expresses an aberrant need for affection. Bundy admits that, in an attempt to satisfy such desires, he would often indulge in vivid fantasy.