i'm going to try and start working through my messages now

Yuuri and Emotional Vulnerability

I was doing some thinking on this line of Yuuri from episode 4’s beach scene and, even though it’s been done to death by now, I’d like to talk a bit about it.

What Yuuri is talking about, and what the entire crux of the issue is, is that Yuuri feels that showing emotions and being emotionally vulnerable is a sign of weakness. To go even further, he feels that having these emotions at all makes him weak. In turn, at any point that he thinks someone has seen this ‘weakness’, he proceeds to push them away and run from the issue for as long as he possibly can.

He does this time and time again. In episode 4 we’re presented with an example of this in the short term: he pushes Victor away and hides at home instead of going to the rink. This isn’t just an issue that has haunted him in the short term, however. From a more long-term perspective, he’s pushed away friends and family; the example he tells us is when he pushed away the girl who saw him upset and tried to hug him. We also see the same pattern with the girl who made him the music.

This habit hasn’t only affected him in the past and present, but it’s also impacted his future. What I mean is that this issue is inextricably tied to his confidence. Everyone has emotions, and everyone has times in which they are emotionally vulnerable. Yuuri has been suppressing this for so long that he’s been crushing his confidence in himself at the same time.

But during their talk at the beach, Yuuri has an incredibly big realization. Through Victor’s words and actions, as well as the influence of Yuuri’s friends and family, Yuuri sees that having emotions is not a weakness. That it’s okay to be emotionally vulnerable in front of other people. That having these emotions, and showing them, does not make you weak – it makes you human.

When we look at Victor’s lines during this scene, we come to realize that this is the exact message he is trying to impart to Yuuri. He starts with opening up and being emotionally vulnerable first by admitting he misses St. Petersburg and didn’t have a firm direction for his future in mind. He then follows that up by telling Yuuri that he himself, along with everyone else around them, does not see Yuuri as being weak. Victor’s trying to tell Yuuri that having emotions, such as his own homesickness and loss of direction, does not make him weak. And neither does showing them.

I think, in this moment, this is exactly the words Yuuri needed to hear. He’d come close to the realization before, when he noticed that his friends and family don’t see him as weak and that they know to give him space when he needs it, but it hadn’t fully clicked into place yet. Victor’s words serve as the affirmation Yuuri needs to start to see how others view his emotions/emotional vulnerability and Yuuri uses Victor’s own vulnerability as the launching point for this realization.


We immediately see the affects this revelation has on Yuuri. The first thing he does is open up and apologize to Victor for avoiding him. As the cherry on top, Yuuri even admits why he did – because he felt that having these emotions would make him “weak” and he wanted to hide those “shortcomings” from Victor.

Yuuri then immediately reaches out to someone he’d avoided for what might have been years, someone he had avoided simply because he felt guilty for turning down her work and not wanting to show how that had affected him. He had run from his feelings but, through Victor’s help, was finally able to face them.

But Yuuri doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t look only at the past and the present; he also looks to the future. He opens himself up enough to admit to Victor that he wants to reach his level. Not only that, but Yuuri also asks Victor himself for his help to do it.

After this, and all the way through the rest of the series, we see how this life lesson has impacts his thoughts and actions. Yuuri finds himself admitting things to himself that he was barely able to realize he felt before – such as wanting to win gold at the previous year’s Grand Prix Final.

In the end, this one conversation opened Yuuri’s eyes to so much more than just his emotions – it opened him up to new experiences and, in turn, enriched every other aspect of his life.

Hey Voltron Fandom, what the fuck?

I’m going to get straight to the point, you guys are self-destructive and are going to kill the fandom over your petty arguments and stupid self-entitlement. There hasn’t been a day since the beginning of the fandom that everything has just been peaceful for once (and I’ve been here since it’s birth) You all should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting online and hurting real people over fiction (this is not specifically towards ships btw) And I’m putting my foot down at all of this bullshit and trying to stop it

This is pretty lengthy so everything is under the cut

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello there; I've been looking through your blog and, as many others say, I just ADORE your art! I was also wondering if you could give me some advice. For quite a few months now I've utterly lost all motivation to draw. I want to go into something with art, so this devastates me, and whenever I try to draw I just get so easily frustrated. I've been an avid artist since I can remember, so for me to suddenly not want to draw for months on end really concerns me. Any suggestions to fix this?

(hi!! apologies for the late reply. i hope this can still be of some help to you despite that!)

i think that’s a feeling every artist struggles with at some point. you love art, you love making art, and it’s immensely frustrating when that suddenly doesn’t work out despite all the effort you’ve been putting in. and then you start to lose motivation, question yourself and everything you’re doing, and it’s a vicious cycle that’s really hard to break out of. so what can we do?

well, here’s a thing. let’s call it the productivity branch.

i feel like my own creative cycles are very seasonal. not in the sense that my creativity depends on the season, but rather that my creativity itself goes through different seasons.

  • spring: new ideas, motivation, productivity still low 
  • summer: lots of ideas and very productive
  • autumn: still productive drawing leftover ideas, but new ideas are harder to come by. and then 
  • winter: nothing. art-block. lack of ideas, everything-sucks-syndrome, no motivation, the creative part of my brain is basically hibernating

that’s you up there. you’re in a creative winter right now. and without any inspiration or motivation it’ll be hard to find a way to cross that gap over to a new spring (pls bear with the cheesy analogies). and if your cut yourself off from inspirational influence you might start to think that, hey, this isn’t so bad. i mean, who needs spring right? just means you have to do things. be active. yikes. winter’s pretty chill. haha. 

but don’t do that. it’ll come around and bite you at some point, because that lack of motivation and activity might start to seep into other parts of your life, not just the creative one, and you don’t want that.

so! when you don’t have ideas and motivation to create, then don’t create. but instead make an effort to inspire yourself. inspiration entails motivation (and vice versa).

  • read books, short stories, poems, science articles, anything
  • go on walks, explore your surroundings, if affordable maybe even go somewhere farther away
  • let people tell you stories
  • listen to new music
  • try things you haven’t done before (deliberately break old habits)
  • go through other people’s inspiration blogs
  • collaborate with a friend
  • get really invested in something, talk to others about it
  • watch movies, animated shorts, documentaries 
  • or speedpaintings and art tutorials
  • try different techniques, or new brushes
  • look at art that’s so inspiring that you can’t believe you’re still just sitting there not drawing anything yourself
  • and most importantly, be receptive. take in the world around you, rearrange it in your head, and draw whatever you end up with. that’s the core of what creativity is

think about what you want to achieve. make your friends smile? draw something really cool you can print out and hang up in your room? touch people’s hearts? deliver a message? whatever it is, and however small or inconsequential it might seem, keep it in mind. it’s your light at the end of the tunnel.

if want to keep drawing for the sake of muscle memory while you’re still looking for your inspiration: 

  • illustrate your daily activities
  • draw a random shape or find one in a photo (clouds are ideal for this) and turn it into a character or object
  • pick different pictures and combine elements from each of them into one drawing
  • do plain ol’ studies 
  • basically don’t try to come up with things completely from scratch. find something to work with and go from there. that will save you the mentally draining task of coming up with a subject, so you can start actively drawing right away

if you still can’t make yourself pick up a pen, make a schedule. train your brain to turn its creative gears at a specific time of the day, make that a habit. do it for pavlov

approach drawing with the awareness that what you create might suck, especially when you’re out of practice, but this doesn’t mean that it will always suck, and it doesn’t mean you suck. if you learn to dissociate your current creative achievements from your worth as a person and your future potential you will get back to work a lot easier, improve faster, and be more resistant to setbacks. 

find something that makes it worth the effort of working through the frustration. 

you might need to try a lot of different things because everyone copes with this differently, and even when a method worked once that doesn’t mean it always will. so start trying! you can only find inspiration if you start looking for it. 👍

anonymous asked:

Sooooo I heard you do fic recs 👀 what are the best fics you know that have auror!harry? (Bonus points for auror!draco too!) thanks luvvvv

Hello, love! I had to split my auror!harry recs into two parts because there were just too many incredible fics!! So first, go have a look at my Drarry as Auror Partners list! Then enjoy these auror!harry with miscellaneous!draco (haha is that a thing?) fics as well :D

Auror!Harry Recs

tissue of silver by fearlessdiva (76K)- A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf.
Draco is a seer and somebody is out to murder him, so Harry moves in to protect him. According to the author, an attempt to explain ‘how Canon Draco could turn into Fanon Draco,’ and I LOVE FANON DRACO 

The Full Monty by magpie_fngrl / @cat-wolfe (10K)- Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.
I ALSO WENT BATSHIT CRAZY WITH LUST FOR THIS FIC. So funny. So hot. Baby chick named Arthur. Lawyer!Draco. Has sequel. Perfection <3 *kisses fingertips with flourish*

The Good Guys by Frayach (27K)- The Second Voldemort War is limping into its fourth year, and the Forces of Shining Light are slowly turning into the Forces of Expedient Grey. When Draco Malfoy is captured red-handed trying to sell an illegal potion to a clerk at Borgin & Burkes, he is handed over to the Department of Essential and Necessary Truth’s newest interrogator. And as soon as he sees Malfoy, bound and waiting in his cell, Harry Potter knows he’s in trouble. Deep trouble.
YO THIS FIC FUCKED ME UP. IT WAS AMAZINGLY GOOD. SUPER WELL-WRITTEN. Not what I would usually recommend because I am bad with endings that are anything but “happily every after,” but READ THIS ANYWAY IT IS ART.

The Unlikely Career Choices of Mr Draco Lucius Malfoy by who_la_hoop (5.5K)- Draco Malfoy is up to something. Something evil. Because he’s certainly not mixing drinks in Muggle London for the good of anybody’s health now, is he?
This fic was hilarious and adorable and Draco has all these weird muggle jobs and I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT and want to re-read it 27 times.

It Must Be (True Love) by frostywonder (45.5K)- No amount of playing by the rules has made Harry’s life any easier, and Malfoy has matured but also hasn’t. They are who they are, and though they try, neither one can fully change.
This fic was super wonderful and compelling and I’ve no idea why it doesn’t have more kudos!! Harry is assigned to watch over Draco’s (dangerous) brewing projects and they both keep almost dying it’s great

On the Turning Away by blamebrampton / @blamebrampton (25.5K)- It’s one thing to be good at not making a besotted fool of yourself over a man when he’s busy being the most famous wizard in the world and you’re tucked away quietly in Wiltshire. It’s quite another when you have to see him every morning.
Blaise sends Draco a Christmas Tree in the mail, and somehow this leads to Draco ending up with Harry as his parole officer. Who he has to see every day. Lovely, Christmassy pining! <3

A Fox’s Bargain by raitala (6K)- Harry made a bargain with Draco. He knew it was going to come back and bite him on the arse, he just didn’t think about what exactly Draco would ask for. Draco would say that Harry must have known deep down what he was agreeing to, but then Draco is a prick and what would he know?
AAAH so hot! I don’t care if you probably wanted case fics and this is pretty much just D/S style smut, READ IT SO SEXY.

Partners of the Four-Legged Variety by carpemermaid / @carpemermaidtales​ (18K)- “Training starts in the home, Potter, so your new Crup and I will need to stay with you for a few weeks while I show you how to properly train and bond with him.” The Auror Department is instating a K9 Crup Unit, and Harry is the first to sign up. Turns out the professional trainer is Draco Malfoy, and he has to live with Harry as part of the Crup training programme.
Praise kink!!!!! Pining!!!!!! Living together!!!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!

Chains of Earth by dysonrules (90K)- Draco is kidnapped and forced to make a choice between taking his own life or becoming something less than human. Of course, he makes the right decision. Enter Harry, who discovers he has a bit of a thing for wings.
This is a great long case fic!! With veela!Draco. Warning for some Weasley bashing.

Interoffice Communication by Snegurochka (10.5K)- Draco has convinced the Auror department to test his new messaging charm for secure communications. Harry really would have preferred that he not find out through messages like, ‘Yeah, tonight you’re going to beg me for it,’ that the system wasn’t as secure as they thought.
Soooo Harry accidentally receives a sexy message (or like twenty) from Draco intended for Blaise, and then he obviously can’t stop thinking about it. And it doesn’t help when Harry’s own name starts coming up ;). Super super hot!

Paint it Red by dicta_contrion / @dictacontrion (5K)- Draco’s a graffiti artist with a bone to pick. Harry’s the P.I. tasked with catching him. Or, apparently, stalking him all over town, asking a lot of questions, and showing surprising artistic talent.
Harry’s meant to stop Draco vandalizing, and he fails miserably. Or very very happily, depending on your point of view :D

The Auror Method by Lomonaaeren (43K)- Draco has constructed the perfect cover for his activities as a con-man specializing in thefts from a distance: Draco Malfoy, the redeemed Death Eater and Recluse of Malfoy Manor. But now there’s evidence that some people are onto him, and as a consequence of the death threats issued to him, he gets an assigned Auror guard. Maybe Harry Potter, their leader, could be a problem when it comes to Draco’s latest con. Although how could he, when he’s getting all distracted by Draco’s fluttering eyelashes?
This was a very thrilling read! I love Draco and Harry trying to con / figure each other out while totally falling in love at the same time, just GIVE ME THIS TROPE A THOUSAND TIMES.

Fight the Starless Midnight by Maab_Conner (22K)- Harry thought that he was going to arrest Healer Malfoy for practicing without a license. Nothing ever goes as planned.
Great fic with a really good case element! When Harry goes to arrest Draco, he discovers an even bigger problem involving Mungo’s. Meanwhile Draco is a (still snarky) saint <3

When Hearts Are Freed by oldenuf2nb (23K. Locked to AO3 Users only)- When Draco Malfoy’s gallery is robbed and a priceless magical artifact is stolen, he finds himself working with Chief Auror Harry Potter to both recover the fabulous necklace, and to prove he didn’t steal it himself.
Draco owns an Art Gallery, which is obviously amazing, and Head Auror Harry is sexy and confident, and YEAH. Great case, great build. YEAH AGAIN.

Here Be Dragons by birdsofshore (22K)- Harry doesn’t want to waste his time investigating illegal dragonhide trading, whether it involves a fetish club in Knockturn Alley or visiting a remote island in Wales. Why the bloody hell does Malfoy always have to be up to something?
Harry suspecting Malfoy of things is just the best, and I love this iteration especially. There are dragons!!! And lots of leather!!! And kinky(ish) sex!!!!

Listen up, Dramione Haters.

Okay so I got a rather rude ask earlier, and I’ve talked to quite a few people since and I’m still annoyed. I want to make a few points to people who want to truly understand, instead of spewing ignorant shit. A LOT of my points go along with UpTheHill’s defenses of the ship, but mind you– I’ve talked to many people about this.

I’ve talked to WeasleyIsMyKing540 several times on the subject, some one who does NOT like Dramione; as well as numerous other people who do not like, nor understand the ship. I have even talked on the phone, at length, to the absolute biggest Drarry shipper I know about different points people have tried to use to de-validate this pairing.

Point blank, if you come at me yelling or being rude, I will not even attempt to explain this. So let me try my best to put all of my points out there so you can understand the absolute best you can.

Dramione, statistically, is the most popular ship of the fandom. However, it is also one of the most hated as well. To the point that Dramione writers ACTUALLY have numerous support groups for the amount of hatred they get over stories they pour their heart and soul into. But, alas, I digress.

The popularity of the ship, by majority as I cannot speak for everyone, has nothing to do with a “bad boy” fetish. It also, has nothing to do with Emma and Tom. I’ve seen both of these points brought up by antis to explain away why people like the ship, but it’s just not true. I’m going to say this now. I don’t like the feltson ship. I think it’s weird and disrespectful towards the actors to ship people in real life, and Emma really doesn’t even look like Hermione. Hermione’s BIGGEST physical trait was her hair, frizzy snd wild. Emma’s hair, no matter the amount of teasing, is way too light and sleek.

Now, I’m going to start off by addressing the “bully” factor concerning Draco. Obviously, this is something that the pairing has to overcome within fan fiction. Draco was raised by a man who was overly bigoted and spoke about blood purity as if it were the most important thing in the world. From a young age, Draco was around this. He was taught that this was absolutely normal, and idoling his father, he took what his dad said to heart and it showed throughout his actions. Is that okay? No. Is bullying acceptable? Of course not. But he was a child. Just like James and Sirius, also bullies, were children when they participated in such activities. Only those two, didn’t have parents quite like Draco’s.

Which brings me to my next point. I can not stress this enough, that Hermione is absolutely NOT a goodie goodie little breakable princess. She took everything said to her in stride and even knocked him a VERY well deserved slap to the face by third year. Hermione fucking Granger, is a badass. WORDS, of all things, will not break this woman.

And that being said, in terms of those crying “abuse”, do you truly in your heart of hearts believe that that strong ass muggle born witch would allow Draco (of ALL people) to push her around? Could you see her changing herself for him? No. To both of those things. And in most (I haven’t read all) fan fiction– that never happens. If it does, it’s EXTREMELY OOC and not normally very popular.

The entire series focuses around blood purity prejudices. The entire fucking 7 books and 8 movies. Over and over, it’s the same theme. So why put Draco and Hermione together? Simple. In the words of UpTheHill herself, “It is the best, and most effective way for Draco to get redeemed.” Point blank.

She is the muggleborn. The EXACT opposite of everything Draco himself is taught to hate.

Harry is still a half blood. Although the struggles with the Drarry pairing would be more about sexuality, he’s still half blood. The entire story, as I’ve mentioned, focuses on blood purity.

You can skim around that issue with other pairings like Drarry, Drinny, Druna, Dransy, Drastoria. But you absolutely CAN NOT avoid that fact with Dramione. It’s something that NEEDS to be addressed with that pairing. It’s something that NEEDS to be fine, period. It’s unification, smack dab in your face.

And although Ron is pureblood and ends up with Hermione in canon– Ron is not, and never has been prejudice against blood. Nor has his family.

Draco needs to eat his words. He needs to fall in love with the one thing he had convinced himself he hated. He has barriers to get through. His own previous thoughts on the issue, his parents, his close friends, etc. He, quite literally, needs to bend over backwards and ACCEPT that the thing he thought he hated the most in the world, is his biggest weakness.

I’m not saying you have to like it, but people need to stop fucking bashing it because I’m tired. I’m tired of working 6+ hours on a Dramione picture, that I’m quite proud of, just to have people bash me over the pairing– obviously never really taking a look at it in the first place.

I’m tired of having me and my friends having to hold our breath every time we open our reviews, hoping by god it’s not another message bashing the pairing.

I don’t like Romione, or Fremione. I think that they’re easy ships. They’re routine. Hermione is a fighter, and literally Draco’s walking contradiction. He could challenge her, their sex would be explosive, and they’re enough a like to make it work and enough opposite to keep it interesting.

However, I’m not going to bash Romione. Nor Drinny. Nor Drarry, or whatever ship you antis reading this right now think makes “so much more sense.”

Because I know how to actually look into things. I don’t speak ignorantly, and I would never force someone to defend their ship day after fucking day.

If you think it doesn’t make sense, ask around! Nicely. Any Dramione shipper will be happy enough to explain most of the time.

A Note From Gerard Way about My Chemical Romance's breakup if you haven't read it yet

A note from Gerard Way about My Chemical Romance’s breakup:

A Vigil, On Birds and Glass.
I woke up this morning still dreaming, or not fully aware of myself just yet. The sun poked through the windows, touching my face, and then a deep sadness overcame me, immediately, bringing me to life and realization- My Chemical Romance had ended.
I walked downstairs to do the only thing I could think of to regain composure-
I made coffee.
As the drip began, in that kind of silence that only happens in the morning, and being the only one awake, I stepped outside my home, leaving the door open behind me. I looked around and began to breathe. Things looked to be about the same- a beautiful day.
As I turned to step back into the house I heard sound from within, a chirp and a rustle. And I noticed a small brown bird had flown into the library. Naturally, I panicked. I knew I had to see the bird to safety and I knew I had to retain the order of things in our home, and he very well couldn’t take up residency with us. I chased him (still assuming he was a he) into my office, where I have these very large windows.
Just then, and luckily, I heard Lindsey’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and naturally being composed as she is, she grabbed a blanket and stepped into the office. He was impossible to catch, and I began to open the windows, via Lindsey’s direction, only to find out they were screened. The bird began to fly into the glass, over and over and in all different directions.
Smack.
Smack.
Smack!
I heard another set of footsteps, Bandit’s, running down the stairs in anticipation of the new day. Her entrance into the situation caused just the right amount of chaos (she was very excited to meet the bird) and we found ourselves chasing the bird into the living room. Knowing that this where it could potentially get sticky, being the high ceilings and the beams to perch on, I opened the front door as Lindsey did her best to encourage our new friend out the door. After some coaxing, flying, chirping, a wrong turn back into the library and a short goodbye to Bandit, he simply hopped out the front door- taking off on the fifth leap.
We cheered.
I was no longer sad.
I didn’t realize it, but I stopped being sad the minute that bird had come into my life, because there was something that needed doing, a small vessel to aid and an order to keep. I closed the door. I decided to write the letter I always knew I would.

[[/MORE]]

It is often my nature to be abstract, hidden in plain sight, or nowhere at all. I have always felt that the art I have made (alone or with friends) contains all of my intent when executed properly, and thus, no explanation required. It is simply not in my nature to excuse, explain, or justify any action I have taken as a result of thinking it through with a clear head, and in my truth.
I had always felt this situation involving the end of this band would be different, in the eventuality it happened. I would be cryptic in its existence, and open upon its death.

The clearest actions come from truth, not obligation. And the truth of the matter is that I love every one of you.
So, if this finds you well, and sheds some light on anything, or my personal account and feelings on the matter, then it is out of this love, mutual and shared, not duty.
Love.
This was always my intent.

My Chemical Romance: 2001-2013

We were spectacular.
Every show I knew this, every show I felt it with or without external confirmation.
There were some clunkers, sometimes our secondhand gear broke, sometimes I had no voice- we were still great. It is this belief that made us who we were, but also many other things, all of them vital-
And all of the things that made us great were the very things that were going to end us-

Fiction. Friction. Creation. Destruction. Opposition. Aggression. Ambition. Heart. Hate. Courage. Spite. Beauty. Desperation. LOVE. Fear. Glamour. Weakness. Hope.

Fatalism.

That last one is very important. My Chemical Romance had, built within its core, a fail-safe. A doomsday device, should certain events occur or cease occurring, would detonate. I shared knowledge of this “flaw” within weeks of its inception.
Personally, I embraced it because, again, it made us perfect. A perfect machine, beautiful, yet self aware of it’s system. Under directive to terminate before it becomes compromised. To protect the idea- at all costs. This probably sounds like something ripped from the pages of a four-color comic book, and that’s the point.
No compromise. No surrender. No fucking shit.

To me that’s rock and roll. And I believe in rock and roll.

I wasn’t shy about who I said this to, not the press, or a fan, or a relative. It’s in the lyrics, it’s in the banter. I often watched the journalists snicker at mention of it, assuming I was being sensational or melodramatic (in their defense I was most likely dressed as an apocalyptic marching-band leader with a tear-away hospital gown and a face covered in expressionist paint, so fair enough).
I’m still not sure if the mechanism worked correctly, because it wasn’t a bang but a much slower process. But still the same result, and still for the same reason-

When it’s time, we stop.

It is important to understand that for us, the opinion on whether or not it is in fact time does not transmit from the audience. Again, this is to protect the idea for the benefit of the audience. Many a band have waited for external confirmation that it is time to hang it up, via ticket sales, chart positioning, boos and bottles of urine- input that holds no sway for us, and often too late when it comes anyway.

You should know it in your being, if you listen to the truth inside you. And voice inside became louder than the music.

Now-
There are many reasons My Chemical Romance ended. The triggerman is unimportant, as was always the messengers- but the message, again as always, is the important thing. But to reiterate, this is my account, my reasons and my feelings. And I can assure you there was no divorce, argument, failure, accident, villain, or knife in the back that caused this, again this was no one’s fault, and it had been quietly in the works, whether we knew it or not, long before any sensationalism, scandal, or rumor.

There wasn’t even a blaze of glory in a hail of bullets…

I am backstage in Asbury Park, New Jersey. It is Saturday, May 19th, 2012 and I am pacing behind a massive black curtain that leads to the stage. I feel the breeze from the ocean find its way around me and I look down at my arms, which are covered in fresh gauze due to a losing battle with a heat rash, which had been a mysterious problem in recent months. I am normally not nervous before a show but I am certainly filled with angry butterflies most of the time. This is different- a strange anxiety jetting through me that I can only imagine is the sixth sense one feels before their last moments alive. My pupils have zeroed-out and I have ceased blinking. My body temperature is icy.
We get the cue to hit the stage.

The show is… good. Not great, not bad, just good. The first thing I notice take me by surprise is not the enormous amount of people in front of us but off to my left- the shore and the vastness of the ocean. Much more blue than I remembered as a boy. The sky is just as vibrant. I perform, semi-automatically, and something is wrong.
I am acting. I never act on stage, even when it appears that I am, even when I’m hamming it up or delivering a soliloquy. Suddenly, I have become highly self-aware, almost as if waking from a dream. I began to move faster, more frantic, reckless- trying to shake it off- but all it began to create was silence. The amps, the cheers, all began to fade.

All that what left was the voice inside, and I could hear it clearly. It didn’t have to yell- it whispered, and said to me briefly, plainly, and kindly- what it had to say.

What it said is between me and the voice.

I ignored it, and the following months were full of suffering for me- I hollowed out, stopped listening to music, never picked up a pencil, started slipping into old habits. All of the vibrancy I used to see became de-saturated. Lost. I used to see art or magic in everything, especially the mundane- the ability was buried under wreckage.

Slowly, once I had done enough damage to myself, I began to climb out of the hole. Clean. When I made it out, the only thing left inside was the voice, and for the second time in my life, I no longer ignored it- because it was my own.

There are many roles for all of us to play in this ending. We can be well-wishers, ill-wishers, sympathizers, vilifiers, comedians, rain clouds, victims-

That last one, again, is important. I have never thought myself a victim, nor my comrades, nor the fans- especially not the fans. For us to adopt that role right now would legitimize everything the tabloids have tried to name us. More importantly, it completely misses the point of the band. And then what have we learned?

With honor, integrity, closure, and on no one’s terms but our own- the door closes.

And another opens-

This morning I awoke early. I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on some baggy jeans, and hopped in my car. I gently sped down the 405 through the morning fog to a random parking lot in Palo Verde, where I was to meet a nice gentleman named Norm. He was older, and a self-proclaimed “hippie” but he also had the energy of Sixteen year old in a garage-rock band. The purpose of the meeting was the delivery of an amplifier into my possession. I had recently purchased the amp from him and we both agreed that shipping would jostle the tubes- so he was kind enough to meet me in the middle.
A Fender Princeton Amp from 1965, non reverb. A beautiful little device.

He showed me the finer points, the speaker, the non-grounded plug, the original label and the chalk mark of the man or woman who built it-

“This amp talks.” he said.
I smiled.
We got coffee, talked about gold-foil pickups and life. We sat in the car and played each other music we had made. We parted ways, promising to stay in touch, I drove home.

When I wanted to start My Chemical Romance, I began by sitting in my parent’s basement, picking up an instrument I had long abandoned for the brush- a guitar. It was a 90’s Fender Mexican Stratocaster, Lake Placid Blue, but in my youth I had decided it was too clean and pretty so I beat it up, exposing some of the red paint underneath the blue- the color it was meant to be. Adding a piece of duct tape on the pick guard, it felt acceptable. I plugged this into a baby Crate Amp with built in distortion and began the first chords of Skylines and Turnstiles.

I still have that guitar, and it’s sitting next to The Princeton.
He has a voice, and I would like to hear what it has to say.

In closing, I want to thank every single fan. I have learned from you, maybe more than you think you’ve learned from me. My only regret is that I am awful with names and bad with goodbyes. But I never forget a face, or a feeling- and that is what I have left from all of you.
I feel Love.

I feel love for you, for our crew, our team, and for every single human being I have shared the band and stage with-

Ray. Mikey. Frank. Matt. Bob. James. Todd. Cortez. Tucker. Pete. Michael. Jarrod.

Since I am bad with goodbyes. I refuse to let this be one. But I will leave you with one last thing-

My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die.
It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you.
I always knew that, and I think you did too.

Because it is not a band-
it is an idea.

Love,
Gerard

BNHA x The Avengers (Bakudeku + minor KiriKami and Shotoko fun)
  • Midoriya: We have orders, we should follow them.
  • Bakugou: Following's not really my style.
  • Midoriya: And you're all about style, aren't you?
  • Bakugou: Of the people in this room, which one is A: Wearing a gaudy green bunny outfit with weaponized thigh-highs and B: Not of use?
  • Everyone: -glares at Bakugou's costume with judgement-...
  • -
  • Midoriya: What I want to know is how he controlled their minds like a bunch of flying monkeys!
  • Kaminari: I do not understand.
  • Todoroki: I DO!
  • Bakugou: -rolls eyes-
  • Todoroki: I understood that reference.
  • -
  • Aizawa: We have no quarrel with your people.
  • Shigaraki: An ant has no quarrel with a boot!
  • Aizawa: You planning to step on us?
  • -
  • Tokoyami: Did I hurt anybody?
  • Shoji: No, there's nobody around here to hurt. You scared the h*ll out of some pigeons though!
  • -
  • Midoriya: I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was, I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice. You know it's really just a, just a huge honor to have you on board.
  • All Might: Well, I hope I'm the man for the job.
  • -
  • Twice: Target acquired.
  • Bakugou: -jumps on villain Twice's back, while screaming bloody murder-
  • Twice: Target angry! Target angry!
  • -
  • Tsuyu: Gentlemen, you might want to step inside in a minute. It's going to get a little hard to breathe.
  • Midoriya: Is this a submarine?
  • Bakugou: Really?! They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container?! -ship takes off into the air- Oh, no, this is MUCH worse.
  • -
  • Aizawa: Is everything a joke to you?
  • Ms.Joke: Funny things are.
  • -
  • Bakugou: What else you got?
  • Todoroki: Well, Midoriya is taking on a squadron down at Shibuya Station.
  • Bakugou: And he didn't invite me...
  • -
  • Hatsume: An intelligence agency that FEARS intelligence? Historically, not awesome.
  • -
  • Tamakawa: -as All Might, all the Pro-heros of UA and class 1-A and 1-B board the plane to fly to Tokyo- Uh... You are not authorized to be here!
  • All Might: Son... just don't.
  • -
  • Present Mic: Having trouble sleeping?
  • Aizawa: I've been asleep for 70 years. I think I've had enough rest.
  • -
  • Todoroki: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.
  • Tokoyami: It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb.
  • Midoriya: You need to step away.
  • Bakugou: Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?
  • Midoriya: You know damn well why! Back off!
  • Bakugou: Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me.
  • -
  • All Might: You people are so petty... and tiny.
  • -
  • Ashido: Where's Tokoyami?
  • Bakugou: You mean the hawk? He's up in his nest.
  • -
  • Shigaraki: I have an army.
  • Midoriya: We have a Kacchan. -grins cutely-
  • Bakugou: DIEEEEEEE -crashes through window with explosions going off-
  • -
  • Police Council: Pro-Hero Eraser Head, the council has made a decision.
  • Aizawa: I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
  • -
  • Midoriya: Kacchan... I think now is the perfect time for you to get angry.
  • Bakugou: That's my secret, Deku. I'm always angry.
  • -
  • Midoriya: Kacchan, we need a plan of attack!
  • Bakugou: I have a plan: Attack!
  • -
  • Todoroki: Be careful what you say, he is my brother!
  • Tsuyu: -talking about Dabi (headcanon not canon)- He's killed 80 people in the last two days.
  • Todoroki: He was adopted.
  • -
  • Midoriya: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
  • Bakugou: I think I would just cut the wire.
  • Midoriya: Always a way out... You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.
  • Bakugou: A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Deku. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!
  • Bakugou: Put on your hero costume. Let's go a few rounds.
  • -
  • Uraraka: -via phone- Hatsume-san, we need to talk.
  • Hatsume: You have reached the life model decoy of Hatsume Mei, please leave a message.
  • Uraraka: This is urgent.
  • Hatsume: Then leave it urgently. -Uraraka then enters Hatsume's penthouse, hanging up her cellphone with Midoriya at her side-...Security breach.
  • -
  • Kirishima: -cheerfully beating up villains easily- This is just like Hosu all over again.
  • Kaminari: -electrocuting villains easily- You and I remember Hosu very differently.
  • -
  • Shigaraki: Bakugou Katsuki told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer... PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code. Something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!... I won't touch Bakugou, not until I make him kill you!
  • Midoriya: -eyes wide, face turning fearful-
  • Shigaraki: -snarling- Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear! And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is MY bargain, you mewling quim!
  • Midoriya: -turns and takes a few shaky steps away-
  • Shigaraki: -smirking wickedly-
  • Midoriya: -crying intensely- You're a monster!
  • Shigaraki: -laughing- Oh no, you brought the monster.
  • Midoriya: -quickly dropping facade- So, Tokoyami... that's your play.
  • Shigaraki: ...What?
  • Midoriya: -on earphone piece communicator- Shigaraki means to unleash Dark Shadow. Keep Tokoyami in the well lit lab. I'm on my way. Send Todoroki-kun as well. -turning back to Shigaraki, wiping fake tears- Thank you... for your cooperation.
  • -
  • Ashido: What's the matter, scared of a little lightning?
  • Bakugou: I'm not overly fond of what follows...
  • Kaminari: -appears out of nowhere like the lightning god that he is-
  • Kirishima: -gets all excited like a puppy because Kaminari arrived-
  • -
  • Hatsume: What's the stat, Midoriya-kun?
  • Midoriya: -looks at all the complex technology- It seems to be powered by some sort of electricity!
  • Hatsume: ...well, you're not wrong.
  • -
  • Bakugou: -screams- WAKE THE FUCK UP, DEKU!!!
  • Midoriya: What. The. Hell- What just happened?! Please tell me nobody kissed me.
  • Bakugou: You fucking wish, you damn nerd.
  • Todoroki: ...We won.
  • Midoriya: Alright-Hey. Alright. Good job, guys~ Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma?
  • Bakugou: -snorts and rolls his eyes-
  • Midoriya: There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.
  • MINI-BONUS MOMENT
  • Uraraka: A big man in a suit of armor, take that away what are you?
  • Aoyama: ✨Uh Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist.✨

phazerstorm  asked:

I just adore your art style, it's so cute! I'm thinking of making comics myself. Do you think you could give me some tips on angling or facial expressions or overall detail?

Thank you so so much! I really appreciate that! Like, a whole lot. ^^

I’m not exactly sure how much I’ll be able to help you, though I can at least give you some pointers on expressions! I’ll do my best. I’m sorry this is coming a bit late! 

I’m going to use Bendy for my examples, just because he’s super easy to draw and I have him on hand/mind at the moment. But! These can be used on just about anyone.

Keep in mind: this is just my way of doing things. There isn’t one “set” way to create great art! There’s a lot of experimenting, testing and growing when it comes to artwork.

When it comes down to expressions, there are a few things to consider: what are they feeling? How intense is this feeling? How far can, or should you push it? How can you make this feel realistic? In visual storytelling, showing what a character is going through is far more important than telling the reader. In a comic setting, there’s a very fine balance–since you have images to go with the words, but you can’t convey each minute action… At least in a reasonable amount of panels, the dialogue and the images have to work together when they’re used in tandem.

When a character is shouting, you have to push their expression further–it won’t be enough to show them with their mouth slightly open, or with a flat face. Give them wide eyes, or shut their eyes completely with frustration. Open their mouth wide, maybe even get their body language involved if you have enough room. Throw their arms in the air, have them pulling at their hair!

Likewise, if what they’re saying is quiet or somber, soften their expression. Have their gaze ill-focused, or looking to the ground. Their shoulders could be slumped, their brow could be low. Their mouth could be almost, or entirely closed. Or are they happy? Raise their eyebrows, widen their eyes with joy! Bring out that smile! Use as much variety and as many shapes as you can!

Because I’m a visual person, here are a few examples to give you a better idea of what I mean:

(I’m sorry if my handwriting is hard to read)

Which facial expressions are more interesting? Sure, the ones on the left are going through the motions of emoting, but the ones to the right REALLY show how the character is feeling!

Body language is also immensely important when it comes down to expressiveness. Every part of the body can be used to convey a message. The crossing of arms can indicate disgust, or even put a small barrier between two people. Slumped shoulders show disappointment or sadness. Every little movement a character makes can have a massive impact on their overall tone. Here are a few examples like the above:

Even minute changes to a static pose can make a BIG difference! Test around and see what works best.

I’ve noticed that some animators have mirrors near their desk. This is so they can look up at their reflection and make a face into the mirror. They project their character’s feelings onto themselves, that way they can see what sort of facial expression would be best suited to that emotion. Nowadays we can just google this, but it’s still a good idea. Don’t be afraid to look up references whenever you need them. I know I do frequently! There’s no shame in using references!

My friend linked me to this wonderful guide, which goes more in-depth than I did here. Take a look!

I’m sorry I can’t help you quite as much with angles. I feel that I’d need to do a little more research in order to be able to articulate this more fluently. Perhaps some other time I can try and revisit this and go more into depth about perspective and foreshortening, but for now, here’s another great guide that might help you along in the right direction. I use a similar structure for my own drawings! 

Speaking of foreshortening, here’s another tutorial! I don’t use this particular method, but it may work for you!

I know you didn’t ask for it, but I’d like to give you some tips about comic making. If you don’t want them, then I guess you can just stop reading, pfff. Either way I’ll put it under a cut so this post doesn’t take up so much of the dashboard.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm feeling so sad right now and I keep crying. Emma Swan is the best character I've even know. I love your fics but I need more so I was hoping you could rec me some of your favorite, long captain swan fics. Thanks, I hope you feel better soon.

I could go on for hours about how much I love Emma Swan and how devastated I am but I’m sure that’s not what you’re here for so yay!! fic recs!!!!

First of all, if you haven’t read Light of All Lights by @ripplestitchskein , what are you doing w your life?? It’s Dark Swan and Deckhand Hook and it’s so beautifully heartbreaking and so wonderfully smutty and so gloriously glorious. Seriously, it is one of the best works of fiction (fan or other) I have ever read so do yourself a favor and read it. 107k words. Rated E

This next one might be my all-time favorite CS fic. I’m like a puzzle (but all of my pieces are jagged) by @somanyfandomssolittletime. A friends to lovers hockey AU w an integrated NHL. This one’s a little bittersweet for me rn because the Blues just got knocked out of the playoffs. I’ve read this one more times than I can count. It’s a blessing and I’m actually about to go read it again. 18k words. Rated M

Harbor in the Temptest by @acrobat-elle is a Neverland canon divergence and who doesn’t love a good Neverland fic? This one’s a bit of an emotional doozy, let me tell ya, but it is so so worth it. 18k words. Rated T also by @acrobat-elle Breathless a post-Underworld fic in which Emma and Killian come back sharing more than just a heart. Idk what’s more intense the feelings or the smut. 31k words. Rated E

Love, Kindness, and Other Useless Things by @joneskillian is a thing of beauty. A historical AU set in 1815 and the slowest of burns. Emma works for Killian, taking care of his lovely daughter Grace. This one’s a wip and it’s like the highlight of my day when I get the notification saying it’s been updated.

Talking Body by @killians-dimples is another fic that I’ve read too many times. Rockstar AU, guitar player Killian Jones is in love w his media agent Emma Swan. BED SHARING!! and dry humping, god bless. Her writing is a breath of fresh air and I guarantee you will be satisfied and your spirits will be lifted upon reading any of her fics. 10k words. Rated M

@nowforruin is a multi-chapter Goddess. She has written soooo many of my favorite AUs. I honestly don’t know where this fandom would be w out her fics. To name a few of my favorites, Dropping Anchor a broke, both in heart and finances, Emma returns home. Her mother gets her a job working for the Jones’. 37k words. Not Rated. The Trouble With Faking It A fake dating AU and by golly is it beautiful. Emma is hired by Regina to date Movie Star Killian Jones to clean up his image and help him land a role. 124k words (YEAH BUDDY) Rated E. A Change in Wind I can’t even form words for how great this baby is so just read it. 65k words. Rated M.

Lonely Hearts Club by @niniadepapa. If you want to read something just absolutely adorable and lovely, an AU in which Killian starts conversing with a random stranger through messages written on a table at Granny’s. Two guesses as to who the stranger is. 16k words. Rated T

Strangeness & Charm by @bluestoplights. OK first of all, I just wanna give this girl a shout out because back in the day when I was still a mostly Hunger Games blog, I watched OUAT but didn’t blog about it, and I followed her for Veronica Mars and it was basically her Captain Swan blogging that made me want to join this fandom so kudos to you for giving me the love of my life. This fic is probably the longest on this list and every single moment of it is spectacular. Pirate Captain Killian Jones and Savior Emma Swan unite to liberate the kingdom. 243k words. Rated M. Also, give her 1989 fics a try, Wonderland is probably my fave.

Something About December by @high-seas-swan is a 12 Days of Christmas fic in which Killian gifts Emma something new every day leading up to Christmas. And it has a bunch of flashbacks throughout their relationship. Beautifully fluffy, A+ and I’m not just saying this because it was my CSSS gift from her. 7k words. Rated T.

Lastly for this list, Her Crowning Glory by @captainnagata a Princess Diariesish AU in which Emma Swan has to find a husband or else lose her crown to Killian Jones. Beautifully written and tons of fun. 66k words. Rated T.

I just want to thank every person on the list for bringing such beautiful content to such a beautiful fandom. Shipping Captain Swan would not be the same w out you guys. ♥

Penguin Teen Interns Recommend!!!

Summer is almost over, and sadly, it is time to say goodbye to our Summer 2017 Penguin Teen interns. They have been hard at work reading manuscripts, posting online Penguin Teen content, creating eBooks, planning author tours, attending lots of fun meetings and of course, doing lots and lots of reading! Before they left, we asked them for a few of their MUST READS you don’t want to miss out on!    

An Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir

Oona Ryle (Publicity Intern)
“An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir could not have been more aptly named –  it won’t burn you, but the story will draw you closer with the warmth she creates in the character relationships. I’m reading the sequel, A Torch Against the Night, right now, and somehow, it’s even better than the first book!”

Perfect Ten by L. Philips 

Dan Denning (Retail Marketing & Advertising Intern) 
“They say to never judge a book by its cover, but I fell in love with this book the instant I saw the cover… whoops. Still, the vibrancy, romanticism, and humor you see on that cover is exactly what is inside the book too! Sam’s journey to find his perfect boyfriend in a town where he is one of the only gay boys kept me 100 percent invested throughout all 352 pages. Read it for the captivating story, the adorable characters, the juicy romantic drama, and because you REALLY want to know which of Sam’s four crushes ends up being the final boy behind that unicorn mask on the cover.” 

Keep reading

kapower  asked:

I'm a slut for your writing so how about like a progession from 52,73,151, to 184? If not, any of the above would be adorbs in your writing bae😙💕

Thunderstorm Revelations

Pairing; Nalu

Word Count; 2417

A/N; BAE I’M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMFG. But thanks for the prompt!! <3

52: “ Can we cuddle? ”

73: “ Oh, Are you ticklish? ”

151: “ I can’t feel my legs! ”

184: “ Can I touch you? ”

Natsu sat in the center of the sofa, one of Lucy’s books perched on his knee as he flipped through it absentmindedly. Lucy was always weird about him reading her stuff, and so he tried to wait until at least the third draft before sneaking a look at it. Lucy had been in a rut, however, and so Natsu was forced to reread her previous chapters to fend off his boredom.

Magnolia was all but shut down under the heavy thunderstorm outside, Lucy and Natsu trapped in her apartment on Strawberry Street as it had been closer than the guild. She had sent a lacrima message to the guild, letting everyone know her and Natsu were safe but wouldn’t be going to the guild that day. Happy had been especially upset, needing to be talked down from flying through the storm by Lucy. Natsu had been forced to bribe the exceed with the promise of all of Natsu’s catch next time they went fishing.

Natsu sighed loudly, leaning his head against the back of Lucy’s sofa and closing his eyes. She had been drying off for forever, and Natsu didn’t understand why he couldn’t have just dried her off himself. Lucy was so weird she had squawked and turned bright red at his offer, and now she was wasting time drying her hair when they could be playing cards.

A loud boom outside caught Natsu’s attention, the thunder harsh and sudden when he wasn’t watching the flashes of lighting outside the window. The lights flickered overhead, Natsu mentally threatening them if they went out. Lucy got all antsy in the dark with him, which bothered Natsu. She knew he would never try anything, didn’t she?

Besides, it wasn’t like Lucy was even aware of how Natsu felt.

Natsu cocked his head, tracking the soft padding of Lucy’s socked feet walking towards him.

Another crack of thunder rang in the sky, and Natsu opened his eyes with a frown when he sensed Lucy tense beside him. She looked pale, half dried hair thrown in a messy braid and large shirt trailing to her mid thigh.

“Can we cuddle?” Lucy asked, voice timid as she looked at her hands clasped in front of her. Natsu opened his mouth to ask her why she wanted to cuddle when a third boom shook the small apartment, Lucy flinching and curling into herself at the noise.

“Course, weirdo.” Natsu said instead, grinning at her easily. She smiled at him, shy and thankful in response as she slipped onto the couch beside him. Natsu shifted them around, his back now tucked into the corner of the couch and Lucy curled under his arm. She squeaked and pressed into his side firmly when the power shut off, the room falling into pitch blackness while the sky roared.

Natsu ran a comforting hand over Lucy’s back, soothing her small shakes as he tried to think. It had never occurred to Natsu that Lucy might be afraid of thunderstorms, and frankly he didn’t know what to say.

“You, er, alright, Luce?” Natsu asked, watching her face in the dark. The pale light coming from the window behind them was all Natsu needed to easily see in the room, but obviously from the unfocused expression she wore it wasn’t enough for Lucy.

“I’m fine Natsu. Just… don’t like thunder.” Lucy tried to brush off, but another loud crack of thunder sent her head burrowing into Natsu’s chest in fear.

“I think it’s more than a little dislike there, Luce.” Natsu commented dryly, tightening his arm around her and pulling her closer as he spoke.

“Oh shut up.” Lucy exhaled, hand relaxing as she bickered with Natsu. He grinned to himself, proud his plan had worked. He tensed as he sensed the change in the atmosphere, squeezing Lucy tight as a flash of lightning lit up the room, quickly followed by the booming thunder. Natsu looked over her face, tracing the tired pinching and tenseness she held on her face, thinking she was concealed by the dark.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I know sketchyy-pencil makes fan art for the ship and well... I'm an angst whore D: can you please make an angst one shot where she cheats on you or something... To tie it with mysme lets pretend she is Jaehee and you are MC lmao

Fuck MC and Jaehee this story is about me and @sketchyy-pencil ( also if you want to send HCS for the ship I guess you can since this was really easy for me to write lmao) 


I never knew life would treat me this way. My life was actually looking great; I had an angel as a S/O, my job was amazing and I was finally happy. Hah. Life’s a bitch. I never knew taking my love to dinner would actually turn into the worst night of my life. During our dinner conversation I noticed she seemed distant. Hell she’s been distant for months. I thought it was her job stressing her out so I made sure everything was in place: having the apartment cleaned, making sure we have everything ready, and having a hot meal waiting for her. Yeah it was hard working and taking care of our home but she was worth it. She was worth my blood sweat and tears. She use to enjoy my cooking till gradually, she stopped eating my food. I already ate don’t worry or I’m not hungry  was the constant excuses she gave me. One night I even decided to run her a bubble bath but she yelled at me saying I was too nice to her. Her words did hurt me but I didn’t pay attention to it because I knew she was stressed. I didn’t pay much attention to her because at the time, I didn’t want our arguments to escalate.

During dinner, I remembered I asked her how was work and she simply took a sip of wine and told me “ I’m in love with someone else”. My heart stopped beating because I looked into her eyes and I knew she was telling the truth. I continue eating my food and told her to answer my question and she did. We didn’t talk much after. We finally made it to our driveway and I went to her side of the door and opened it for her like I always had. Now we are sitting on the couch acting as strangers. I was speechless because I was still trying to comprehend those six words that caused agony within me. I took a deep breath and looked at the floor “ How long was this going on? I won’t get mad at you I promise” I whispered. She ran her fingers through her hair like she always does when she’s nervous “ For 5 months now” she sighed. I cleared my throat and laid down at the couch “ I hope the person makes you really happy. You deserve all the happiness in the world my angel. I love you so much that I prefer your happiness over mine. So I understand why you cheated on me. I was no longer your happiness. I’m sorry for not being enough” my voice hitched.

I felt her eyes pierce through my skin and she started to cry while punching my shoulder “Why aren’t you crying ! Why are you not ha-hating me! Please hate m-me! You were enough you were more than enough! Fucking hate me! Tell me off!! Say you never want to see me again!! ” she screeched. I just laughed while she was hitting me. I finally looked into those beautiful eyes again “There is no point in hitting me angel. Your words already hurt me enough to where a bullet won’t even do shit to me. I might as well add that I can never hate you. I respect and love you so much that my ass will support you in every decision you made. I told you from the beginning, I will stand by your side even if you make the wrong choice. Even if it means you loving someone else.” I uttered. I stood up from the couch and kneeled between her. I grabbed her hands and gently kissed it for the last time. I closed my eyes for a quick second and I felt hot tears rolling down my face. I gazed into her eyes “ I need to know one thing. Just one thing. When did you stop loving me?” I managed to say. It’s easy to see her emotions through her eyes. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and it took all the strength that I had to not wipe her tears away. That was no longer my job no more. She decided to pick someone else for the job and that caused pain to ache into my bones. I felt her fingers try to wipe my tears but I slapped her hand away from my face. Her breath hitched “I ne-never stopped loving you” she whispered ever so gently. Her eyes were telling me the truth but I knew her heart was lying to her mind “Bullshit. You don’t hurt the people you love” I hissed. Tears were caressing her face ever so lightly. She grabbed my hand and forced her fingers to interlock with mine. She brought my hand to her lips and kissed it every so gently. I took my hand away from her and held her hand to my heart, “Remember way back then when we first started talking, you were so hard yet so easy to figure out. Your eyes showed me your soul and it captured my heart. You were my heaven and hell. I’m curious though, do you remember that long message I sent you because you teased me that I couldn’t be sweet?” I mentioned. She laughed and it sounded like angels singing to my ears. She nodded while cleaning her eyes. I fixed her hair because it was covering her face “I still mean every word from it” I stuttered while I got up and kissed her forehead.

She gave me a puzzled look while I went and grabbed a suitcase to pack all my clothes and belongings. It was a half hour later till I had my suitcases at the front door. She told to that she wanted to leave and I told her that I didn’t want to stay because I didn’t want to be surrounded by memories of her. She sat down at the couch and I went to her and outlined a cross to her forehead “I hope God gives you many more blessings and I hope you are happy with your new life and love” I said. She looked at me with fresh tears in her eyes and there was a lump in my throat. I was ready to leave but I stopped and looked back “I will never know where we went wrong but there is one thing that I know” I whimpered. I walked closer to her and I put my hand inside my right pocket taking out a blue velvet small box. I opened it revealing the engagement ring and placed it on the table in front of her. I examined the living room once last time and my eyes finally laid on hers “ I was suppose to give it to you after dinner. It doesn’t belong to me. It was meant for you so you can do whatever you want with it. Thank you. It was an honor having my heart broken by you” I said while tears were running down my eyes. I gave her one last look and walked away.

Goodbye my love.

Extra Angsty Bonus:

I ran down the stairs with the little belongings I had. I heard my name being yelled by her but I kept going down the stairs faster. I finally reached the lobby but she took the elevator and she tried to stop me from leaving. She went on her knees begging me to stay but I pushed her off me and told her to never put her pride down for anyone. I ran through the double doors and made my way through the streets. The cold air was burning my throat and I decided to look back at her for one last time but suddenly everything turned black…..

anonymous asked:

Hello dear. I thank you for sharing your advice with us. And i found out that i need it now if you can ofc. I want to graduate next year so bad but my grades aren't good enough, but i have the determination to work hard even though it's impossible to graduate with a good mark. But the problem is that i don't know how to work hard, like how can I guarantee success? Next year will be a tough one for me , I have alot of subject and the thesis, and i don't want to study a 5th year bcuz I'm done:/

Hi! I’ll start by noting that I could give the best advice ever (where is my life philosophy sticker??) but it ultimately comes down to you. You need to put systems in place that are effective and help you get the grades that you really need. I will give you a couple of overarching tips but you have to work for it. Here goes!

Fix your mindset:

This is so important and shouldn’t be underestimated. Use the fact that you might have to stay back another year as motivation to push yourself. You need to learn to discipline yourself to keep going and not become reliant on motivation alone. Believe in yourself! you can do it! This post is all about developing discipline. Here are some other things that might help:

  • mark your progress - the best way to monitor how you are going is to track your daily productivity. Jerry Seinfield emphasises that using a calendar (or habit tracker) is the best way to consistently perform tasks day after day. He says each day he has written something he will put a large red cross through the day on a wall calendar. “After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain.“ This way you can see how well you’re doing and motivate yourself to keep it up!! Here is a habit tracker I made!
  • stay persistent - keep at it! It might be tough and some days you might miss doing a task - but making sure you can recover from those days is what matters! No one has discipline 100 per cent of the time. If you’ve got a friend from school (or even one from Tumblr), share your daily tasks and upcoming to-dos with them. Make them hold you accountable for getting things done. They can message regularly to ask how you’re going, provide some encouragement and praise your work! You should remember that your a new found discipline isn’t going to appear overnight.
  • be positive - you aren’t going to see a radical change from one day to the next. It is a long, arduous process that needs developing. Don’t be discouraged by the initial difficulties. If you miss a day, don’t dwell but think that you’ll try to not let it happen again. Focusing on any negativities isn’t going to help you, so accept them and move on.
  • externalise your goals - your goal is to be more productive and efficient when it comes to your class. By writing this down, you’re more likely to take the steps to complete it. On the same piece of paper, you can write down small things that you could do to achieve it. Keep it somewhere visible so you can remind yourself of what you want to achieve.

Make the effort:

With good grades comes blood, sweat and tears (maybe not so literally but you can’t expect an improvement without trying). here are some tips:

  • write down dates as soon as you get them - this applies for romantic dates and due dates ;-) Once you know when something is coming up, put it in. I’d recommend putting in reminders each week so you don’t forget. Make sure you keep these in view!!!
  • plan as much as you can - for big assessments this is key! I will also spend a few hours drafting up what I want to include in it. Sometimes I’ll spend a day (not a full day, just part of it) planning it out, finding my references, my main points, evidence and then breaking up the structure and word count. Then I’ll go back either the day later or a few days and start working. It makes tackling assessments much less stressful if you’ve prepped before hand. You can watch me doing my assessment (planning/drafting/writing) on my YouTube.
  • create a routine - try to develop a time to do things like work after class, studying, self-care and your hobbies! If you can devise a flexible routine, you’ll improve your disciple and help feel more organised in general.
  • review your notes regularly - like you’ve said, you should be reviewing notes every now and then. Follow the curve of forgetting and reread them after class, 24 hours later, a week and month later. If you’re making a habit of this, you’ll retain more information and need less time to study prior to finals. 
  • contribute in the classroom - I think a lot of education is done in the classroom and participating (even if you aren’t actively contributing but taking notes on what is said) is very important. I have one class this term which I really connect with so, unusually, I contributed a lot to the class. I can recall that particular class much more than the others I took more of a backseat. If you talk in the first few minutes of dicussion, it makes it much easier to continue to raise your hand.

Motivation

As I mentioned motivation shouldn’t be relied on as your only source of getting through work because eventually you’ll have a day where you’re so unmotivated and fall back into a cycle of unproductiveness. If something keeps you motivated, remember that and use it time after time. here are some ways to stay motivated:

  • use productivity apps - these are so helpful, I cannot stress that enough! I love the app ‘Forest’ for keeping me off my phone and focused. Here are some apps to try.
  • try to study in a productive place - avoid using your bed for proper study. Reviewing notes prior to sleeping is fine but don’t make actual studying a habit. Keep your bed a place of rest and relaxation. You could also use my motivational Monday art printables for some help!
  • keep your notes and laptop organised - date and name everything properly!!! Avoid getting lazy because it just spirals and gets even messier hah! You don’t have to be do it all the time but try on a Friday or Sunday to fix up the week and plan for the next one. I find that starting a week with a fresh mind helps me stay motivated.
  • learn to remove distractions and stop procrastinating - have a read of this post on limiting distractions and this post on dealing with procrastinating. If you can see yourself being productive during a study session and not just wasting 20 minutes on YouTube, you’ll be more motivated to study regular since you’ll see it as purposeful.
  • set up a reward system - positive reinforcement and having gratification for your work is going to really help keep you motivated. Before you study, write down what you’re going to do after - e.g. watch those YouTube clips you’ve been wanting too. Instead of giving in, try working towards them. 
  • use printables - I started using them back in high school and have since started making them for other students on Tumblr and Etsy. I get a lot of awesome feedback from people saying they’re motivating or really helpful. My Etsy shop has loads of printables (from studying packs, to reading logs, or just time planners).

Know yourself and what suits you

It is one thing reading my tips but we are different people! What works for me, might not work as well for you. Testing out different things should help you figure out what suits you best. Some things to do include:

  • try finding out what kind of learner you are. If you can tailor your studying to the way you learn, you’re going to get much better results from your study. Try doing this quiz. This is a really awesome infographic that can provide you with some tips once you know the way you learn. That way your studying is going to be much more effective since it is actually going into your brain!
  • find out when you’re most productive - some people are morning people and others are night owls! You can then learn to tailor your studying and revision to those particular times. For instance, you can do test revision when you’re most productive and prior to class readings when you’re less awake.
  • find out where you’re most productive - this goes into promoting an encouraging workspace but maybe you hate studying alone in your bedroom. You can try studying in the library with other students, your local coffee shop, at your kitchen table or even outside!
  • use a colour code - I find this such a useful tool and I’d recommend it to everyone. It doesn’t have to be super detailed or complicated but just enough to easily pull out the more important information.
  • create a format/layout for your notes - I use the outline method because I find it the easiest and most effective for me. Here is a brief explanation of mine.

Stay organised

The easiest way to manage your studies/education is to be organised at least 80% of the time (or attempt to). My top tips for organisation are:

  • plan and prepare - make sure your planning system is optimal! Your organisation can take whatever form you like, be it a digital calendar, a bullet journal or just weekly agenda. If one isn’t working for you, try out something else. We don’t all work from the same planning methods so it is also good to test out new ones. Every time you get a due date, add it in! Add in additional reminds too. I put them on my phone as well, just in case I completely forget. Being prepared and on top is going to help you feel more in control. You might find some of my printables on Etsy helpful since they’re more student based!
  • make a habit of scheduling your time - use some form of a schedule to map out your monthly, weekly and daily tasks. Make the effort to set times for certain tasks - be it 15 minutes, half an hour or an hour. These tasks could be clean out your school bag every Sunday, check weekend homework on Fridays, do allocated readings the night before your tutorials, etc. With time you won’t need to be reminded of these tasks since you’ll just know to do it. This is building discipline and habits!!
  • keep your notes and laptop organised - date and name everything properly!!! Avoid getting lazy because it just spirals and gets even messier hah! You don’t have to do it all the time but try on a Friday or Sunday to fix up the week and plan for the next one.
  • make study notes/revision notes throughout the semester - as you finish a topic, make some type of study notes. This could be flashcards, proper notes, a mind map or summary powerpoint! With textbooks, summarise each chapter on a flashcard or post-it note once you’ve read it. Then when you come back to review at the end, you’ve got everything in your own terms anyway.
  • learn to prioritise your tasks - this is crucial for students who are balancing numerous things like work, extracurriculars, jobs and a social life. Put the immediate and crucial tasks first. That Facebook notification or group text can wait until you’re done. This printable might really help if you struggle to determine what is and isn’t important. 
  • have a review day - set yourself up for one day to review the previous week and plan for the next. Reflect on what went well, what didn’t, and what you need to change to improve. Critically evaluating and planning ahead should help you keep up with what is coming and stay organised!

I hope this helps! Best of luck with everything :-) xx

anonymous asked:

hey! so i'm fairly new too bootlegs and i don't have anything to trade with. how do i start if i have nothing? i don't want to trick someone into giving me something, i want to do it fair and square.

a lot of people are really nice and will try to give you a bootleg you want even if you don’t have anything in return and then you’ll have something to trade in the future!! if you message me off anon im sure we can work something out because i think that everyone should be able to see the shows they really want to 

heres a lil nina who knows that sharing is caring :)

I’m Staying - Unknown’s story

…This is one of my first requests.  And I’ve finally gotten around to writing it.  Because no more school!  And I’m finally catching my breath with my job.

Summary: In my Ideal World, after the Secret Endings, and after they are an established couple, Unknown discovers something about MC that she’s been trying to hide. (2nd person narrative)

Rating:  M for mature, because it’s not explicit, but it is there.

Length:  Almost 1600 words


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i'm a high school freshman, and i'm taking GeoHonors, BioHonors, Advanced English, and Advanced Art... i'm overwhelmed. I attend a high school known for high stress levels and suicides.. Previously in my elementary+middle schools, i was a straight-A student, no biggie. I thought high school would be the same.. which is why I signed up for so many honors. I'm also playing competitive volleyball, studying for the october ACT (for a summer camp), and preparing for my final piano exam. help? ~Kass

Hey Kass! Hope you’re doing well. Shelby here. :)

You sure got a lot going on. Sometimes that can be good & other times not so much. But you do sound very smart and you do seem like you got a ton going for you which is a plus.

I’ve got some resources & links to show you today in hopes it helps you.

Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress

Feeling emotional and nervous or having trouble sleeping and eating can all be normal reactions to stress. Engaging in healthy activities and getting the right care and support can put problems in perspective and help stressful feelings subside in a few days or weeks. Some tips for beginning to feel better are:

  • Take care of yourself.
  • Talk to others. Share your problems and how you are feeling and coping with a parent, friend, counselor, doctor, or pastor.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol may seem to help with the stress. In the long run, they create additional problems and increase the stress you are already feeling.
  • Take a break. If your stress is caused by a national or local event, take breaks from listening to the news stories, which can increase your stress.
  • Eat healthy, well-balanced meals
  • Exercise on a regular basis
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Give yourself a break if you feel stressed out

Recognize when you need more help. If problems continue or you are thinking about suicide, talk to a psychologist, social worker, or professional counselor.

Time Management:

Motivation & Procrastination:

Study Techniques & Studying:

Notetaking:

Exams and tests:

General Academics:

Health/Issues:

College needs:

Food

Helpful sites:

High school needs:

Mental health resources:

Misc resources:

Motivation:

Music/Sound:

School resources:

Stress relief:

ACT Test Guide

Things to Remember:

  • Difficult questions are worth the same points as easy questions.
  • If you answer 53% of the questions correctly, you get an average score.
  • There is no penalty for wrong answers - guess if you don’t know.
  • Budget your time; don’t spend too much time on a question.
  • Read each question throughly and know what it’s asking for.
  • Mark up the booklet to help you - annotate and show your work if that helps you

English:

  • Questions often test for redundancy and irrelevance.

Math:

  • The first time, go through and do the questions that are easier and faster to do.
  • Then, go back and tackle questions that you don’t know how to do or will take more time for you to complete.
  • Look at the answers and plug them in. (start with the middle answer)
  • Substitute numbers for variables.
  • Look at the question like a logic puzzle, not a math problem.

Reading:

  • Skim the reading to get a general sense of the passage.
  • Answer questions that refer to specific words or sentences, and then move on the questions that require you to read paragraphs.
  • Focus on main points and ideas. (usually in first and last sentences of each paragraph)
  • Pay attention to details that might be important to the story.
  • Think about why the author wrote the passage and
  • Mark up the booklet - annotate! (as mentioned above)

Science:

  • what the labels mean
  • what the table shows
  • trends
  • units of measurements
  • data representation (charts and tables)
  • research summaries
  • conflicting viewpoints (usually asked to compare and contrast)

Writing:

  • formulate and opinion
  • maintain focus on your topic
  • ability to defend your opinion using reasoning and supporting ideas
  • organize your ideas in a logical way
  • use language clearly and effectively

Helpful ACT links:

Hope this helps. :) xx

–Shelby(:

← Part 1

“Tooru,” Hajime whispers, his voice low and soothing. “Hey, don’t cry.”

Tooru sniffles, still refusing to open his eyes, and he feels Hajime’s thumbs brush away his tears. Hajime leans in and presses a kiss to each of Tooru’s eyelids, his breaths warm and gentle on Tooru’s skin. Tooru takes a deep breath, letting it out and shuddering a bit.

Hajime pulls him in right to his chest, squeezing tight.

He’s warm, and Tooru feels safe in his arms. He feels his shoulders relax, the tension from before leaving his body. He takes a few slow breaths, finding that his breathing calms down the more he tries to match it to Hajime’s.

“It’s okay,” Hajime says, kissing the top of Tooru’s head. “I’m right here.”

Right here.

Tooru opens his eyes to look up at Hajime, who is smiling down at him.

“I’m not going anywhere-”

The bus lurches, and Tooru jerks himself up and out of his thoughts. Just in time too, as his bus pulls up to his stop so he grabs his bag, running off. All of his thoughts are still swimming around in his head, all mixed up and muddled as he makes his way back to his flat, looking down at the cracked sidewalk as he goes.

No, Hajime didn’t go anywhere…

It’s Tooru that left.

He tightens his grip on his backpack as he walks, the memory leaving him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He remembers the way that Hajime used to comfort him. He can almost feel the warmth of his skin, smell his scent…

Tooru’s stomach twists as he tries to push that thought away. All it does is hurt now, knowing that Hajime is so far away - especially because he was the one who chose to go.

He decided that he needed space to get over this, over his feelings, over Hajime. Because yes, they were close, but Hajime never loved him in the way that Tooru had always hoped for.

So, is it working?

No, not really.

Tooru is happy to get home at least. His new job here is fine, just something basic, but it’s enough to pay for his bills. He has his flat too. A small flat, but it’s his.

This is his new life, now.

He drops his bag on the floor of his apartment, flopping out on the couch. He’s been gone an entire week now and still hasn’t found the courage to call anyone back home - not even a text message. He feels like an extremely big coward, but even the thought of turning on his phone and reading the messages he’s been dodging makes him feel like throwing up.

He’s so scared as to what they’re going to say.

Makki, Mattsun… Hajime…

But they deserve better than this. They deserve better than Tooru, who ignores all their calls and turns off text notifications because he’s too scared to read them. Too scared to deal with the fallout of what he did.

Tentatively, Tooru reaches for his bag, stretching over and just managing to snag it without falling over. He digs around for his phone, pulling it out and unlocking it.

He thumbs over to his text messages, hovering over the first conversation.

He doesn’t even need to look to know it’s Hajime. Hajime’s been texting him multiple times a day since he’s gone - between calls, too - and he misses him… He misses him so badly… Hearing his voice would be so, so good… But… No. Not Hajime. Not first.

Tooru swallows down the bile he can feel rising in his throat, instead clicking on one of the other conversations that pops up. He skims through a few of the messages he sees from Mattsun. Mostly asking how Tooru is, wanting to know if he’s okay. But also just… updates. A message telling him something funny that happened that day. Another assuring Tooru that he’d visited Hajime that day and that he was doing alright, all things considered.

Mattsun… might be a good place to start.

Part 3  →

captainsolaceandneeks  asked:

Could you do number 6 for the prompts? It sounds so angsty

(yeah sorry heh i don’t really do angst so this is what you get i’m sorry i tried)

6. “Help me pack or get out. You’re in the way.”

When Will comes out to his mother it does not go well.

There’s tears. A lot of tears. And screams, and two broken vases and a photograph ripped in pieces. Then three slammed doors and a timer set for one hour.

One hour for Will to pack his things and get out of the house.

His mother has always been dramatic, so the first twenty minutes of the shouting Will was still hopeful. Maybe she’ll calm down. Maybe she’ll come around and understand. But now, picking up his duffel bag with trembling hands and trying to think what necessities he need to pack, Will can see that that’s not going to happen.

Will ignores his tears almost as well as he ignores his ringing phone. He sets the phone on silent and keeps it in his pocket, not wanting to look at Nico’s name flashing on the screen. The tears make his vision blurry, and he wipes them away angrily when he storms around his room and picks up things he needs.

He has thirty-seven minutes left when he sits down on his bed and catches his breath that comes out in huffs. His heart is stuttering. He has given up trying to stop his knees from shaking. He tries to recall where he put his old backpack three months ago when he bought a new one.

His door creaks open.

“Do you need something, Will?” Kayla asks, her voice small and cautious, like she’s afraid Will will lash out on her. “Maybe if I talk to her it would - “

“You and I both know that’s not going to work.” It scares Will how hollow his voice is, how little emotion he’s able to pour into the words. He feels so empty and angry and betrayed he wants to scream, but his body is slowly turning numb. “She’s made herself clear. I’ll be out of her hair soon.”

Will gets up and finds the backpack from his closet. When he starts stuffing his clothes in it he hears Kayla step in the room and pace around nervously.

“Where will you go?” she asks, quite fairly, and Will doesn’t even think before he answers.

“To Nico’s, for now. After graduation I don’t know. We’ve been talking about New York.”

“Will you come visit?”

Will opens a desk drawer, decides he doesn’t need any of the stuff there, then closes it and opens the next one. “I don’t know, Kayla. You know I hate leaving you behind, and I’m going to miss you, but I don’t think I can see Mom for a while.”

Kayla shifts from one foot to another. “Surely, once she’s cooled off, she’ll come around. Just give it a little time - “

“No, Kayla, she won’t! She’s made it perfectly clear she has no intention to even try to see things from my perspective. You didn’t see her face.” He checks the time on his phone and sees he has six missed calls from Nico. He types a quick message, telling him he’ll be there in twenty minutes. “Now, Kayla, I love you, but help me pack or get out. You’re in the way.”

Will doesn’t look at her when he starts picking a few scattered items from his nightstand and hears her leave the room quietly. He hates snapping at Kayla, she hasn’t done anything wrong, but he hopes she’ll understand. He’ll call her once he’s calmed down a little.

He has fourteen minutes to spare when he walks down the hall with two backpacks and a duffel bag, digging for his car keys from his pocket. Kayla waits by the door and wordlessly hugs him once he reaches her. He can feel her tears soaking to his shirt.

“Promise me one thing, Kay”, he whispers to her hair. “Promise me you won’t tell her you knew all along. I don’t want things to go bad between you.”

“They’re already bad.”

“Promise me.”

Once she whispers her promise, Will giver her one last squeeze before letting go of her. He walks to his car and throws his stuff to the passenger seat, then turns to look at the house. He can see his mother peeking through the curtains of the living room window. Only a small part of her face is visible, but Will can see the anger and disgust in her eyes, even from the driveway.

Will climbs to the car and leaves.

(i’m not crying you’re crying god help me)

Date Night

“Alec, what are you doing?” 

Alec looked up over the pot he was currently stirring in the Institute kitchen to see Isabelle leaning casually against the door frame. 

“I-” Alec started before cutting off abruptly when the pot began to boil over. Once he turned down the heat he finished, “I invited Magnus for dinner here tonight.” 

“You… Invited Magnus here? Like, for a date?”

“Yeah,” Alec responded grimly. 

“Why?” 

Alec sighed, “we are always at his place, or we always do things that he suggests… I just didn’t want him to think I’m ashamed of him or something, and that’s why we never come here.” 

“Um, obviously. You never come here because here sucks,” Izzy responded gesturing to the general area of the Institute.  

Alec rolled his eyes and threw some spices into the pot, “are you going to say anything helpful anytime soon? Because if not, leave me to my meal.” 

“Actually, that’s why I came. It smelled like something was burning, and Alec… I’m pretty sure food isn’t supposed to look like that.” 

“You have absolutely no leg to stand on,” Alec said defensively, “it’ll be fine. I’m sure if I just keep adding things it’ll eventually even out.” 

“By the Angel, what is that awful smell ” 

Alec sighed when Jace walked in. The exact last person he wanted to see right now. Jace would never let him live this down, so Alec resigned himself to humiliation. 

“Alec invited Magnus here for a date and offered to cook for him,” Izzy said with a smarmy grin.  

Jace’s eyes widened, “you invited him here? Are you aware that he owns a beautiful penthouse apartment with the world’s most luxurious showers? Honestly, I’m glad to be home… But I still daydream about that shower. Also, there are way fewer people… Don’t you want privacy?” 

“Considering how often you guys interrupt us anyway,” Alec said ignoring Jace’s sound of protest,” I’m not actually sure it matters where we are. And would you stop! He’ll be here in half an hour, it’s too late to suddenly change plans. So, either help me or leave me to my misery.”

Jace and Izzy shared a look that Alec knew well- it was the ‘Alec is such a loser’ look, but he didn’t call them on it. Especially because, after a moment, they both shifted their shoulders back into soldier positions. They may drive him insane, but they’ll always come through for him. 

“Sure, buddy, why don’t I help you make a dinner that resembles human food?” Jace offered, and Alec sighed with relief. Of the three of them, Jace was by far the most capable in the kitchen. 

“Where were you thinking of setting up?” Izzy asked. 

Alec blushed slightly, but responded, “it’s nice out… So I thought, maybe… We could eat on the balcony of my office?” 

“Wow, look at you, bro,” Izzy said punching his arm playfully, “you are actually a secret romantic.” 

“Shut up,” Alec said turning away. “We don’t have much time, so Jace…”

“Say no more,” Jace responded, taking Alec’s pot and dumping everything out ignoring Alec’s soft sound of disapproval. “We don’t have a lot of time, so I think your best bet is some type of pasta dish, we’ll throw some fish on top because fish cooks faster than meat, make a salad and call it a day.” 

“Do you have wine?” Izzy asked. 

Alec nodded, at least that part he had completed. “Yeah, it’s chilling in the fridge.” 

Izzy nodded in approval, “I’ll go set up your balcony. Alec, why don’t you go shower and get ready?” 

“But what if Jace needs my-”

“No!” Jace said with alarm, “no, it will be less work for me if you’re not here. But don’t forget, you’re going to owe me big time.”

“Duly noted,” Alec responded, “what do you want?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Jace said already focused on his task of chopping vegetables. 

Alec nodded and ran to his room, cursing softly. It was disorganized because he’s been so distracted and busy lately. He hastily shoved a few empty, day old mugs into empty drawers, chucked his clothes into a laundry basket and then put that in the closet. With his room now looking moderately less terrible he rushed to take a shower, shaving his face and using the after-shave he knew Magnus liked so much. Or at least, Alec thinks he likes it based on the way he always seems to nuzzle closer on the days he uses it. 

He knew he couldn’t waste any time, Magnus was religiously punctual (at least, with Alec. Otherwise he was more than content to make people wait. The preferential treatment always made Alec smile.) 

By the time he got back to the kitchen Jace was just about finishing up dinner. 

“Okay,” Jace said upon seeing him, “I plated it and put the extras in your office, so that should be fine. I did place a heating rune on the pot, so no worries.” 

“You are the best parabatai,” Alec said pulling into a hug that surprised both of them. 

“Sap,” Jace said squeezing back just as hard. 

“I’m done with the balcony. I put the wine in an ice bucket out there,” Izzy said as she walked in on them hugging. Alec pulled her into the hug as well, because while his mother may insist that Lightwoods aren’t huggers, that particular family trait did not pass down to her children. 

“Try not to be too tragic, okay, Alec?” Izzy said as they pulled away. Alec made a face. 

“I’m not tragic.” 

Jace and Izzy shared that look again, “okay.” 

Alec opened his mouth to respond but his phone vibrated, with a message from Magnus letting him know he came. 

“I gotta go,” Alec said. 

Jace turned to leave with a wink, “if you end up fucking on the desk in your office I wouldn’t blame you.” 

“Goodbye,” Alec said walking away to let Magnus in through the front door. 

Magnus took his breath away, as usual. He was dressed well, but Alec didn’t expect anything else. There was something special about this, though, about having Magnus on his turf and opening the door for him. It was nice knowing that for once, Magnus really didn’t have to do anything- Alec could take care of him completely. It was a surprisingly heady feeling, Alec thought he might ask Magnus to come here more often after all. 

“I didn’t want to come empty handed,” Magnus said holding out a cake tin. “So I figured I’d bring dessert.” 

Alec took the cake and leaned down slightly to meet Magnus’s lips for a welcoming kiss. “Yes, very sweet.” 

Magnus rolled his eyes at the line but smiled anyway and kissed him again. When Magnus pulled back he immediately nuzzled Alec’s cheek, which made him smirk internally. Looks like he was right about that aftershave.

Alec led Magnus to his office and was hit by the scent of well-cooked pasta covered in a fragrant sauce. Jace really was a life saver. The second thing he noticed was the table on the balcony, with candles placed over a clean white table cloth, beside it was a smaller table with the wine he got chilling in an ice bucket. He even heard soft jazz playing in the background. 

“Wow,” Magnus said his eyes slightly wide, “is this some type of anniversary I forgot?” 

Alec laughed, “no. I just… Wanted tonight to be nice. Jace and Izzy helped a lot.” 

Magnus smiled, “I thought I recognized that smell. I think Jace made this for me once when he was staying with me.” 

Alec was burning up with happiness that bordered on giddy. He walked to the table outside, his hand still holding Magnus’. Letting go briefly, he pulls out Magnus’ chair for him. Magnus, who has been watching him with a soft smile, actually blushes at that. Alec thinks that if he can keep that wide-eyed look of wonderment on Magnus’ face as often as he can, he’ll have lived a good life. 

The place settings already had two plates full of food on them and had a small warming rune burned into the corner of the ceramic. 

He moved to open the bottle of wine when he realized he didn’t have a wine opener. Alec opened his mouth to start stuttering something when the bottle was suddenly uncorked in a haze of blue magic. 

“Thanks,” Alec said, his cheeks still slightly red. 

“It’s the least I can do,” Magnus said gesturing around them. 

Alec rolled his eyes, and reached one hand out to grab Magnus’ and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I’m glad you like it.” 

“Of course I do, you didn’t need to go to all this effort but I do appreciate it. I love you,” Magnus said, his eyes warm and gentle as the looked at Alec. He was always struck by how beautiful Magnus’ eyes really are, they express so many emotions, they can be gentle and kind, and icy cold. Right now they radiated love, and Alec’s breath caught in his throat. 

“I love you too,” he responded. “Now, should we eat? This looks delicious.” 

“Sounds like a plan, Alexander.” 

write to me

soulmate au where if you draw on your skin, the other can see

for @matchaball//@mmmatchaball because she loves soulmate AUs so much. 


It starts when she’s six years old and she’s playing dolls up in her room. The word hello scribes itself on her arm, the letters are messy and childish just as if she’s written them herself.  But Marinette knows she doesn’t have a marker in her hand for she is literally holding her doll. The green letters impishly tease her as her heart beats. For a moment, she closes her eyes, screws them so tight she can see little spots dance on the backs of her eyelids. 

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