i'm going to see it again and i might change my mind on some things

anonymous asked:

Hate to admit it but honestly I'm very slow, for the therapy session, is there a way to dumb down what the therapist said to Rick?

Hey, don’t be ashamed about not understanding something, especially with a show like Rick and Morty that is so complex and fast. It’s pretty difficult to keep up with everything in it. I find myself discovering new things every time I rewatch an episode, no matter how many times I’ve seen it before. (Which is always many, many times.) Honestly, I’ve started watching things with subtitles when I can, because I miss so much. 
To be honest, I’m really nervous to answer this. Mostly because I’m afraid I’ll misinterpret something, or miss something really obvious. Or just not be that helpful. So, followers - please, feel free to add!

(I’ll literally analyse Wong’s speech word-for-word, so I apologise for any delay in replying. Thanks to @freedricksanchez for typing up the whole thing.)

Rick: Because I don’t respect therapy, Because I’m a scientist. Because I invent, transform and destroy for a living and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it. And I don’t think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to an agent of average-ness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it’s helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind [burp] we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I’m not a cow. I’m a pickle – when I feel like it. So… you asked.

Wong: Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness.

[Rick and Beth justify the dysfunction in their family and Rick’s poor mental health (which is the initial cause of the dysfunction) because Rick is a genius. Typically, smart people get away with things just because they’re smart. I suppose it’s natural to assume that they know what’s best in every aspect of life, since they definitely know best in at least one aspect to be called a genius. 
Higher intelligence is also linked with a higher chance of depression (IRL) - hence the saying “ignorance is bliss.” People - especially Beth - tend to brush aside flaws when they’re caused by or are in conjunction with a strength. 
Dr. Wong is pointing out that Rick’s genius shouldn’t be used to excuse his sickness, and the sickness it inflicts on the family as a whole.]

You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind within your control.

[Here, Dr. Wong theorises that Rick can’t have a constant opinion on his own intelligence and whether it is a hindrance or a strength, because he refuses to believe he is responsible for it. Rick’s apathy for everything, including the Beth he abandoned in the Cronenberg world and almost everyone he ever meets, is essentially caused by his intelligence. His intelligence allows him to travel across universes, which allows him to see people as completely dispensable, since there’s an infinite amount of them. What Rick doesn’t acknowledge, or doesn’t want to acknowledge, is that his intelligence and ability is entirely controllable by him.]

You chose to come here, you chose to talk to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and faeces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating [haha, that’s a good pun] by your own hands.

[Rick chooses to occupy himself in ridiculous and destructive ways. There’s an infinite amount of safe, yet entertaining ways to occupy oneself, but Rick wouldn’t be captivated by any of them (for long). He chooses to throw himself into disgusting, life-threatening situations, because those situations are the only things that can truly entertain him, despite the fact that he is, essentially, a god.]

I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it’s not an adventure. There is no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people… well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

[This part hit me hard, because I relate to it waaaay too closely for comfort. Dr. Wong describes therapy for Rick as how brushing teeth is for anyone else. It’s simply looking after the body, no matter how tedious it is. Not many people like brushing their teeth. It feels like a waste of time, and the payoff isn’t something you gain. It’s just to keep the teeth you have from rotting. Wong describes therapy as the same thing. It feels wasteful and boring, but it is necessary for some people to keep their mind healthy. It’s not fun, it’s not an adventure, and there’s no reward aside from staying healthy.
Dr. Wong also describes how Rick would rather die than be bored. This ties into the previous point - Rick needs a constant stream of activity to keep him from wanting to die. 
And that’s apparently not normal, but I wouldn’t really know????]

Anyway, it’s 2:39AM, so this is probably terribly written, and I apologise for that. I hope it helped, though??
(Again, please don’t feel embarrassed about not understanding all of it immediately! I didn’t either (aside from the last part), and I basically just got all of that by reading it just then!!) :) <3

anonymous asked:

Could you maybe show us an evolution of your drawings? (Even before this blog?) I love the fact that you are self-taught. I'm not good at drawing but I would love to give it a go, but I would appreciate some motivation by seeing your evolution (if you don't mind)? Big fan! x

Well, basically all digital art that I’ve drawn is posted on this blog, or at least on my dA account :) Although I did delete a few! So I guess I can bring them back… *cringe*

Okay so… In 2015 I got really into Harry Potter and was inspired by all those fanartists, so I tried drawing some stuff of my own. I didn’t have a tablet yet, I was just trying the waters, seeing if digital art is even something I’d be interested in. Here are Hermione and Draco’s portraits I did in mid-November 2015 (I think I was drawing with my mouse, or I might have been using a touch pen on my Asus laptop that has a touch screen, but it’s very tough to work with, not like a tablet at all, no pressure sensitivity, no precision)

Ugh the cringe…. :D

I mean if you scroll to the very bottom of my dA page you’ll find more stuff like this, if you’re interested.
But yeah, those portraits are pretty much the first digital drawings I’ve done.

Continuing with portraits, 4 months later (mid-March 2016) I did Hermione and Draco again, this time already using my graphic tablet and also using references:

Already much better! Yet, to me, still cringy :D I haven’t yet redrawin these portraits (I am planning to), but if we look at my newest portraits (from Ravenclaw set since that one’s the latest, it was completed in February 2017 which is almost a year later from the previous ones), you can see that I have improved a lot too!

They look so much cleaner, every brushstroke has much more purpose, there’s more symmetry and logic and all those things. I like how my portraits changed, not sure how others feel :)

The biggest change in my art was me starting to use references. It helps so much with getting proportions and perspective and body movements right.
And then it was just all about continuing to learn and polishing my style through practice and frequent drawing :) As I did more and more portraits, it sort of felt as though I’ve always been doing them the same way, as though my portraits look the same and no progress is done, but as you can see, during one year, the way I draw changed, or rather got a bit better and precise, so while it didn’t feel as though I’m improving as I’m drawing, when looking back, the progress is visible.

So just take your time :) Miracles won’t happen in a short period of time, especially if you don’t draw at least a couple of times a week (last year in spring-summer I drew like 5-12 drawings a week, so that totally made a difference). You will improve, I promise, but looking at other artists’ art, trying to figure out how they did it, trying out different tools, and learning from references will surely speed up the process of making progress. So yeah, I hope this helps a little :) Sorry I only showed portraits here, I just thought they’re good to show art evolution with since I drew so many of them. Good luck mate! <3

frostedej  asked:

Draco using the toaster. Poptarts fly out. Draco ends up on top of something and stays there till Harry comes home.

“Don’t move, Potter!”

“Er– what?” Harry had just come home and had been about to step into the kitchen when he heard his boyfriend’s anxious directive.

“I said, don’t move! The second you move, that awful muggle contraption you insisted on buying will attack. Trust me. I’ve already become its victim.”

“What are you even–” Harry cut himself off as, rounding the corner, he caught sight of Draco lying very still on top of the island in the center of their kitchen. He was staring intently across the room at the shiny red toaster, from which protruded two garishly pink–

“Are those Pop Tarts?” Harry asked incredulously. He had no idea where Draco could have possibly come by the sugar-filled American snacks. Nor why Draco, who was still suspicious of all things Muggle, might have considered actually eating one.

“I said not to move, Potter!!”

Harry couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up at Draco’s ridiculousness. He was still laying perfectly still on the counter. “What happened?”

“Stop walking at it! It’s vicious! I put in one of those awful-looking things, and then I pushed down on the little black part just like you showed me. And I stood there and waited! And waited! And the inside started to change colours—and I think Weasley must have convinced it to support the Canons because it was hideously orange—but no matter how long I stared, nothing was happening! So I moved to get my wand and then BANG! The THINGS flew out and right for my face. My face, Potter. And if you don’t cease your laughter right this minute I swear–”

Sorry, sorry!” Harry gasped, forcing himself to take the situation seriously. “And how did you end up on the island?”

“Well… I don’t really remember. But the time I realised what was happening, I was already laying here, and I didn’t want to risk moving again.”

“Right,” Harry said. “Well, as you can see, I’m moving and am miraculously unscathed by the things. The toaster is perfectly safe.”

Draco looked highly suspicious, but still somehow found the courage to sit up and slip off the counter. “I want that thing out of our house, Potter! If you think it’s so safe, I suppose you won’t mind if I just leave you to defeat it on your own.”

With that, Draco turned up his nose and stomped out of the kitchen. Probably going off to check for wounds, Harry thought as his lips turned up into an amused smile. 

He was just making his way over to unplug the toaster—Draco’s word was all but law, so he had no choice but to get rid of it now—when his cell phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Harry, mate!” It was Ron. “Did Malfoy use the toaster yet?” He sounded full of anticipation.

“The…” Harry sighed as he realised that his boyfriend might not be so ridiculous after all. “Ron. What did you do?”

Harry could somehow hear Ron’s grin over the phone. “Oh, you know. Nothing much. Charmed it to turn orange when he tries to use it. Harmless.”

“That’s all?”

“Well… George did say there might be a few… side effects—”

“Side effects like it attacking my boyfriend’s face?”

Ron laughed shamelessly. “Oh, Merlin, they went for his face?! Oh that’s priceless!”

“Ron! You can’t do that! You know he doesn’t understand Muggle things! How did you get him to try it out anyway?”

“Oh, it was easy! Just gave him some of those Pop Tart things and told him they were your favourite snack,” Ron answered offhand.

Harry’s heart clenched unexpectedly with a wave of affection for his boyfriend. Which was quickly followed by a wave of guilt for laughing at him after all he’d tried to do was make Harry what he’d thought was his favourite snack.

“Ron, I’ve got to go. And you two need to stop your ridiculous prank war. You know if you really do hurt Draco’s face, I’ll never be able to forgive you.”

Ron made a gagging noise. “Gross, mate. Go be a champion for Malfoy’s face somewhere else. I’ll stop hexing your toaster when he stops confunding me every time I go to the bathroom at work.”

Harry smiled. “Fair enough. I’ll see what I can do.”

He hung up the phone and walked over to the toaster, unplugging it and shoving it into a plastic bag. Then he went to find his boyfriend, who was reclining on the sofa reading a copy of Witch Weekly, which Harry was very aware by now was definitely also for Wizards, Potter.

Harry quirked the corner of his mouth and held up the sack full of offensive appliance. “I thought I could go by Ron’s tomorrow on my lunch break to see about dropping this off and charming it to look like his old toaster?” he tried.

And succeeded. Draco’s face broke into a very satisfied grin. “This is why I love you, Potter.”

Harry’s grin developed into a full-on smile. He plopped down on the sofa, held up the sad excuse for a pastry he had taken from the toaster and offered, heedless of Draco’s increasingly disapproving expression, “Pop Tart?”

In Time

The world around, just for a millisecond, seems to numb. All sound is sucked out of the atmosphere itself. All Sabo can hear is the crack of his boots on the stone below, and blood pulses through his ears like war drums in his mind. Every cell in his body aches, but he pushes on. It’s been a long journey to get here, peppered with storms and regret, and the young revolutionary can’t remember the last time he slept. He certainly doesn’t feel like the strong revolutionary he is in this tired, young body. In this world, he comes as a brother, not a soldier.

Heavy breathing. Blonde hair heavy with sweat falls into Sabo’s eyes, and he shoves another body out of the way so hard that they don’t get back up again. Ahead, shrouded in dust and smoke, Luffy has fallen to the ground – he doesn’t look the same as he did when Sabo last saw him. His chest is unscarred, eyes filled with horror, shoulders shaking. Alone on the ground, Luffy seems so small in comparison to the Pirate King that he was when his brother last laid eyes on him at the execution stand. His little brother looks young; too young to be in this war, too young to have to watch what’s about to happen.

No. Sabo won’t let it happen again, not this time. Screw timelines, screw what this might mean for the world. He had a chance to go back and change things. His devil fruit – Ace, living on somehow through Sabo’s own blood – didn’t approve. Neither did Dragon. Sabo doesn’t care. His mind has been overtaken by some alien force, a thirst for the thing he’s been missing for the decade since Ace’s death. A thirst to change things.

Sabo pushes this lean, twenty-year old body harder. The world is still numb, strangely quiet, as if drawing breath as it watches on. The weight of everything Sabo has ever wished for weighs heavily on his shoulders. This is it. This is the moment where the timeline changes. Ace lunges forward. Luffy’s eyes, brown reflecting magma and fire, widen. Sabo takes a flying leap, coat flaring out behind him, just as Akainu raises his fist.

Everything speeds back up.

Sabo barrels into his brothers with enough force to send them both flying back but makes sure to wrap an arm around each, blood singing in his veins. Ace yells out, pushing back against Sabo with rage in his eyes, and the heat radiating harshly from him is tangible. Luffy is limp at the blonde’s other side, and Sabo’s eyes are too blurred to see his face properly. Heat explodes behind them. The Red Dog is angered, magma pouring from him copiously, but his moment is over. Sabo did it. He took his chance, and the world feels like it’s shifting before his very eyes. There’s no going back now.

“Made it on time!”

The yell escapes from his throat before he can stop it, something between a victory cry and a threat. The battlefield is silent for a split second, and Sabo can hear his voice echoing through it over and over, a reinforcement of his own success. Of Ace’s survival. At the distinctive Grey Terminal lilt that laces the ex-noble’s voice, Ace freezes, a strange expression overthrowing the anger on his face. Luffy’s eyes widen, filling with hope and elation.

All three brothers hit the ground, hard. The world comes back to Sabo in a rush like a tsunami, and suddenly they’re running again, Ace and Luffy stumbling and yelling, both confused as to what’s happening but elated at what they just heard. Heat pushes at Sabo’s senses, so intense that panic floods his veins like a drug, and for a second he sees the boat burning around him. Then, it’s gone. The battlefield replaces everything from the past, and surprisingly, the young man is glad for it. Let this war encompass him. If it means Ace lives, so be it – war will come and go, but Sabo will never have another change like this again. Nothing is going to stop him.

“Who the hell are you?!” Ace asks as they run, surprisingly following Sabo. He looks shaken, as if coming so close to losing Luffy just now rattled him to the core. His voice is uncertain, eyes just as hopeful as Luffy’s now, and Sabo’s heart wrenches when he realises that somehow, deep down, they recognise him.

“…Sabo?”

Luffy’s voice is small in Sabo’s ear, torso shuddering against his back. All his fight is gone. Sabo doesn’t recall slinging him onto his back but he must’ve, maybe when the first starting running. Everything is one pulsing, thronging blur. Travelling ten years back in time must be messing up his head.

Ace’s breath hitches, and his head spins around so fast that his neck must ache. His eyes meet Sabo’s for the first time, and he stumbles for a second, caught off guard. For the first time since Sabo arrived here, he can see that ten-year old kid shining out of Ace’s eyes. Too young to take on the world and wearing his big dreams like medals of honor; questioning whether he should be alive; hurt, but still hoping for something bigger than himself.

“Sabo?!” Ace’s voice breaks. Behind them, two of Whitebeard’s commanders clash with Akainu in a supernova of light and sound.

Against his will, Sabo feels tears spring into his eyes, and a grin stretches across his face even as they fall. Ahead of them, the ocean is just visible, wide and true. “I’ve missed you both,” he chokes out, and they run together still. Ace seems to have stopped even breathing. Around them the battle rages on, and Sabo feels horribly exposed without his pipe.  “I missed you so much.”

Maybe this time, Sabo can stop the execution of the second pirate king before it happens, too. Maybe both Luffy and Ace will survive this time, if he just plays his cards right. Maybe Sabo and his brothers can stay together and stay alive. Maybe, just maybe, he really did change the timeline for good.

A tired cheer roars through the Whitebeard Pirates as they join the three brothers, unknowing of who Sabo is but uncaring. Ace and Luffy are still in shock, disbelieving and confused, but Sabo can see the eldest of the trio as his face begins to light up. It’s like watching the sun come out. Luffy’s arms tighten slightly around him, sluggish and weak but filled with affection, and for the first time in a long time, Sabo has no regrets. He has his brothers.

Maybe time-travel wasn’t such a bad idea.

Okay so I saw that you really loved the asl pic in the magazine so I just had to write this little thing (mostly just to get out of writer’s block lmao). I hope you like it! 

OH MY G OD

anonymous asked:

tell us why perfect by ed sheeran is about phan

perfect is easily one of the most romantic ballads since thinking out loud and ed has even said that he views it an outperformance in comparison to thinking out loud, which is interesting in this context considering how relevant thinking out loud is to everyone who remembers what happened at the 2015 brit awards. it was quite an iconic moment and it’s something people still talk about, so it’s especially intriguing that the song perfect is directly connected to it and treated as somewhat of a sequel

it also happens to describe dan and phil’s history together from past to present very accurately

honestly, i don’t listen to ed sheeran’s music regularly and although the lyrics aren’t the deepest or the most unconventional, i’ve been itching to write down some thoughts

[listen to the song here to set the mood]

[Verse 1]

I found a love for me

Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

we’ll start right off with the first four lines in verse 1, which i believe are being sung from phil’s perspective (however, the perspectives are subjective and can change throughout the song) these lyrics mirror the start of dan and phil’s relationship. phil was generally more mature when him and dan first started talking, age wise and experience wise. phil could’ve technically been considered an adult while dan was still very young and inexperienced, hence why “Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead” is so fitting here. dan and phil were both very quick to love and didn’t think so much about the consequences of their decision to trust each other so quickly. phil quite literally invited dan to dive right in and follow his lead, professionally and personally. the last line can be used to describe just how unexpected it must’ve been for phil when dan came along. early on, dan’s main priority was waiting. waiting for phil’s responses on twitter. waiting for phil’s dm’s. waiting for phil’s texts. waiting for those 5 hour skype calls with phil. waiting to meet phil. only until later on did phil realize that dan was the someone for him

‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own

And in your eyes, you’re holding mine

in the second half of verse 1, the first two lines once again touch on dan and phil’s maturity levels when they first met, referring to them as kids. they behaved as kids would, acting silly and goofy with each other and relishing in each other’s youth, savoring the honeymoon stage as much as they could. but with being a kid comes immaturity, and that side of them showed through some of their reckless behavior. they treaded on thin ice while not knowing what was beneath it as boundaries or limits really didn’t exist for them in the early days of their relationship

[Chorus]

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

this is where the tenses change and the song switches its focus on what is happening in the present, unlike the two verses in the song which seem to be reminiscing on the early days of a relationship. the first two lines of the chorus describe the bond that dan and phil have now and the moments that they share together. dancing in the dark in each other’s arms and listening to their favorite song implies that it could be a song that holds a special meaning for both of them specifically or a song that they are both able to connect to and enjoy together as best friends/lovers/etc because it reminds them of each other. the plural pronoun choice in that second line is accurate considering dan and phil share pretty much everything

[Verse 2]

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

the second line in this verse is probably the most important lines because the song directs its focus away from the present and jumps directly backwards into the past, treating the chorus almost like it was was a mere glimpse into the future. dan and phil quite literally shared each other’s dreams back in 2009, phil was a youtuber and dan was an aspiring one. and although they had no idea whether or not youtube would’ve become as massive of a platform as it is now, dan and phil still shared a lot of goals and also supported each other’s individual goals that the other might not have shared with them. so yes, technically they were still sharing each other’s dreams merely through mutual support regardless of whether or not both of them had those same exact dreams in mind. “I hope that someday I’ll share her home” is such a meaningful lyric because dan and phil never had any idea that they would’ve ever had the opportunity to move in with each other and change millions of people’s lives together. all they could hold onto at the time was hope. but that hope was so worth holding onto because now they’ve been sharing each other’s home for over 7 years, literally and metaphorically

the last two lines are pretty self explanatory. dan and phil know more about each other than anyone else does and some of the things that they feel comfortable sharing with each other are things that they wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. aside from secrets, they carry each other’s love, and even though they can’t literally “carry children,” they have created a family together. the meaning of family in this context is subjective, whether you want to consider it a family solely between the two of them or the family that they’ve made with their audience

We are still kids, but we’re so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we’ll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I’ll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

once again there’s another tense shift. the lyrics are insinuating that the present relationship still has much room for growth but has remained very genuine, which is also true in dan and phil’s case because they are visibly growing with each day that passes. they are growing professionally and personally and the amount of that growth, even just recently, has been astronomical. they see their futures intertwined and they truly are so in love

as for that second line, read it and really let it sink in… “Fighting against all odds.” if dan and phil have done anything in their goddamn lives, it’s fighting all goddamn odds. the odds of phil’s replies to dan on twitter leading to dm’s, the odds of those dm’s leading to 5 hour skype calls, the odds of those skype calls eventually leading dan to buy a train ticket to piccadilly station and actually meet up with this man whom he had met online, the odds of them taking the biggest risk of their professional lives and moving in together in the heart of london so they could pursue a radio show that they had no idea would either pay off or go down in flames, the odds of them actually creating this life together, helping each other through their sudden rise to fame? the odds of them actually having the opportunity to create such a unique community and change people’s lives for the better? what dan and phil have is not what society would deem conventional, but they have beat every normative agenda out there and have literally defied all odds. there were so many potential setbacks… there were so many things that could’ve gone wrong… but they didn’t.

[Chorus 2]

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

[Chorus 3]

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

I have faith in what I see

Now I know I have met an angel in person

And she looks perfect

I don’t deserve this

You look perfect tonight

these last two choruses are very similar to chorus 1 with a few minor lyrical changes

chorus 3 is a lot more confident and hopeful of the future, much like dan and phil seem to be at this current point in time. the view that they have of their future seems to be filled with such good things, like moving and adopting a dog and whatever other “life things” they might have in mind. but i think the most important thing to consider here is that their futures are so tightly bound to each other, and they have nothing but tremendous faith in each other. whatever their futures may hold, it holds them together

now end this analysis with a visual of dan and phil curled up together in phil’s bed, reminiscing on how all of this happened and just how lucky they are to have ended up in this current moment with each other

i’m not saying anything but… perfect is the perfect song for them

Chaol Westfall Post (a.k.a. why the Fandom should stop giving Chaol unnecessary shit)

Let me start off by saying this: It’s cool if Chaol is not your favorite character. If you dislike him, even if it’s for no particular reason at all, it’s fine. Different strokes for different folks and all that. But I do think most of the fandom treats him unfairly, especially since they somehow manage to excuse Aelin and Co.’s shitty actions all the time.

Chaol didn’t accept Aelin, unlike Rowan!

Ya’ll need to stop comparing him with Rowan and going on with that “but he didn’t accept ALL of Aelin!” bullshit. Rowan is Fae. No shit it’d be easier for him to accept Aelin’s Fae side. Seriously, this is such an unfair comparison. Rowan is used to magic. He knows how it works. Also, let’s not forget that Rowan is hundreds of years old so yeah, he’s had time to develop himself, figure out his views and all that.

Chaol is human. He is also young. I mean, didn’t Aelin herself say in HoF that she was nothing but a girl to Rowan? And Chaol is only a couple years older than her. It’s like comparing your grandfather to your boyfriend! (That sounded weird but you get the point, right?)

Anyway, he was taught that magic is this horrible thing. He barely has any experience with it and he doesn’t fully understand it. Dorian has magic and even he doesn’t fully understand it. So of course it was natural for him to struggle with accepting it.

As someone who used to be an incredibly closed-minded, racist, and prejudiced asshole, I understand Chaol. I was raised a Catholic. I live in a predominantly Catholic country. People here are conservative as fuck. Homophobia is common. I’ve seen people make fun of trans folk (saying stuff like “They’re crazy!” or “What a waste of their looks/talent/whatever else!”). And you know, I used to think that way too. Take it from my experience. Changing is HARD in that sort of environment. Hell, one of my best pals during my freshman year of high school was pansexual and still, it wasn’t until college that I was starting to become truly open-minded. Even until now, there are still some things I still struggle accepting completely. But you know what? I try to anyway because I know it’s the right thing to do. It’s why Chaol appeals to me. I’ve been in his shoes. I know his struggles.

Shit like that takes time. The series takes place in a span of what? A year? In which everything was changing so fucking fast for Chaol to keep up with? Give the guy a break.

And did ya’ll forget that bit at the end of QoS where he asks to see her magic? And he says it’s lovely? Does that not count as coming to terms with Aelin’s magic and accepting her or?

But Chaol called her a monster! 

Okay. Consider this for a moment. Remember in CoM, when Chaol had been taken and Celaena went to rescue him? Take a look at this paragraph.

“She was a whirlwind of steel and blood. As he watched her cut through the men as though though they were stalks of wheat in a field, he understood how she had gotten so close to touching Endovier’s wall that day. And at last–after all these months–he saw the lethal predator he’d expected to find in the mines. There was nothing human in her eyes, nothing remotely merciful. It froze his heart.”

Now think. If someone that ruthless had magic. Like a shit ton of power. Wouldn’t you be scared too? I mean, it was difficult enough for people to keep Celaena in check as an assassin. It’d be nearly impossible to do so with Aelin, who apparently is also blessed with powerful magic, being the Heir of Mala or whatever the fuck she is. Chaol had a point. He may not have worded it nicely but he had a point. In EoS, there was literally a line that said “Chaol had warned her about this before” or something like that.

Was he right to call Aelin a monster? Fuck no. I ain’t excusing that. It was a shitty move on his part. But was it understandable? Pretty much.

Also, let’s not forget that unlike us, Chaol had no clue what went down in Wendlyn. He didn’t know what Aelin had gone through and had seen.

But Aelin has had it worse than Chaol! She lost her family and everyone she loved! He has no right to be an ass to her!

Yes, he has no right to be an ass to her. But Aelin has no right to be an ass to him either. Empathizing with Chaol doesn’t mean we’re invalidating Aelin’s hardships. They are two different people. Different backgrounds. Different ways of coping. Different ways of reaction. You can’t expect Chaol to be perfectly okay with losing his best friend and the woman he loved (after she said that whole “I’ll always pick you” speech at the harbor, mind you). He was expecting Celaena to return to him, and when she didn’t, it basically shattered the last shred of hope that he would have something familiar and stable amidst all the change around him.

But Chaol is racist! And prejudiced!

Yo. Your homegirl Aelin was prejudiced against Manon, too. And she had no reason to be? Even Rowan was kinda prejudiced against Manon.

But all Chaol did was blame Aelin for things she couldn’t control!

Well it’s not like she was innocent too. She blamed Chaol for leaving Dorian behind but seriously, what else could he have done? He would have died if he stayed. And then what? Magic wouldn’t be free. Dorian might have died too, since Chaol and Nesryn were the ones who stopped Aelin from killing him. And a whole bunch of other stuff could’ve gone wrong!

Is Chaol perfect? Nope. Like every other character in the series, he has his flaws. He’s done some shitty things. I’m not even going to deny that. But it constantly feels like the fandom puts too much focus on his flaws that they forget about the good things he’s done, too. Like saving Fleetfoot or working with the rebels.

So yeah, again, if Chaol ain’t your fave bro, that’s cool. Perfectly fine. But ya’ll seriously gotta stop those unfair comparisons and double standards. 

I’ve been thinking ~ J.A.

A/N: I WROTE SOME ANGST FOR Y’ALLSO BUCKLE THE FUCK UP (pls keep in my mind I'm new to this and have no fucking clue what I’m doing) PLEASE DON’T KILL ME BECAUSE OF THE ENDING I MIGHT DO A PART 2 IF YOU GUYS REALLY WANT IT IDK LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. keep in mind this is fictional and I don’t know anything about Jack. THANKS AGAIN TO MY GIRLIE @nightsspentthinking for proofreading, you’re the best ily

REQUESTED? : @horan-laurie requested a jack imagine so I’m here to deliver. Hope you like it, love!  (blame everyone that told me to make it angst instead of fluff if you’re not okay after reading this)

SUMMARY:  Your 1 year anniversary with your boyfriend Jack is coming up and you couldn’t be happier about it until you get some shocking news and things go horribly wrong and someone gets hurt.

It was a rainy day in November and you were sitting in front of your fireplace with a big mug of coffee and your favorite book that you had read a billion times, but still made you smile like it did the first time. Your phone buzzed and you saw it was a text from your boyfriend Jack. You and Jack had been together for quite a while, and your one year anniversary was actually coming up really soon, two days to be exact. You had already taken the day off from work to go surprise Jack on your anniversary and take him out to dinner. You were so stoked to take him to his favorite restaurant and just spend time with him. Excited to see what Jack had to say you unlock your phone and go look at the message. “Hey Y/N can you come over?” it read. Eager to see your favorite person in the world, you immediately text back that you’ll be over in 20 minutes and after that, you run upstairs to change out of your sweats into something cute. Once you throw on something you think looks somewhat decent and cute you grab your bag and get into the car.

When you get to the house and ring the doorbell Jack opens the door and greets you, but something was off. He seemed distant unlike usual. You had to admit it upset you a little but you shake it off thinking he might just be having a bad day. After about 30 minutes of talking, he still seems a little distant and you can’t take it any longer. “Jack, are you okay? You seem kind of out of it.” He looks up at you and swallows hard. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about something”. Suddenly you get very anxious, a million thoughts and scenarios going through your mind and your heart sank to your stomach. He has never been this serious and you had no idea what he could possibly want to talk about. You take a deep breath and look him straight in the eyes “You know you can tell me anything right? I’m always here for you”. You give him a sympathetic smile but he can read the concern in your eyes. “You might want to sit down for this Y/N”. You have a feeling where the conversation might go but you pray it’ll turn out to be about something else. All you manage to get out is a whispered “okay” before sitting down next to Jack on the couch.

“Okay so uh…we need to talk” he says as he looks down at the floor. You feel the world around you crumble as you start realizing that in fact, what you were afraid of was happening. ‘We need to talk’ is not a sentence that ends well you think to yourself. You rub the back of your neck a little with your right hand and sigh. “Go on Jack, just say it. Don’t beat around the bush”. He shuffles and he finally makes eye contact. He takes a deep breath and tries to grab your hand, but you pull away scared of what he’s about to tell you. “I’ve been thinking this over and this…this was never going to work out”. You feel your eyes burn and you fight the urge to cry, you were not going to let him see you cry. You put your head in your hands for a second, trying to think of a response. When you finally do speak up all you can say is: “How long have you felt this way?” 

He stays quiet for a while but when he breaks the silence all he says is: “about a month”. You can practically hear your fragile heart shatter into a million pieces, but you try to hold your head up high. “I thought things were going great” is all you managed to get out. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it too Y/N.” Your puzzled expression at his words quickly turns into an angry one. “What is that supposed to mean?” “Oh come on we barely see each other anymore, it’s just not gonna last and you know it”. Offended by his words you snap back, “You and I both know we don’t see each other because of the tour. I’ve tried calling you every night but you’re just super busy all of the time and I’ve accepted that you’re doing your thing and chasing your dream, so don’t you dare pin this on me, Avery”. “Listen, I never meant to hurt you and I’m not pinning this on you, don’t make me out to be the bad guy”. “I just don’t understand Jack, I gave you everything” you exclaim fighting the tears. “I just feel like we’ve grown apart” he looks down not wanting to face you. “Why did you have to wait 2 days before our anniversary to tell me this huh why didn’t you do it a month ago?” “It’s not that easy Y/N”. You feel your fists clench “why is it not that easy Jack? I loved you and you couldn’t even be honest with me about your feelings, only to tear me apart two days before our fucking anniversary” while you exclaimed the last few words your voice cracked, you didn’t want to cry because you were too damn prideful to give into it, but it was getting harder and harder. “Well, what did you expect? Did you think I would tell you the instant I thought about it? I didn’t want to feel like this but I do” he almost yells at you. “I just don’t understand how you can keep up the whole charade, making me think we were fine while you wanted to break up with me and I was head over heels for you?” You look down not wanting to look at him in fear of crying if you do. “Well, what do you want me to say? do you want me to lie and say I still love you?”. That comment hit you hard, it was like a stab in the back. “Fine we’re done, I hate you, Jack Avery. I never want to see you again” you grab your stuff and storm out, not wanting to hear what the curly haired boy had to say. You slam the front door before getting in your car and blasting the radio at 100% volume. With that, you drive off into the night. 

Your vision starts to blur from the tears, they’re not even sad tears at this point, you’re just angry. Angry that you didn’t realize how Jack felt, that he had been distant for much longer and most importantly for letting him break your heart. At this point, you had begun sobbing and in the split second it took you to wipe your tears away, it was already too late. You hadn’t realized that while crying you had slightly swerved into the next lane and before you can react to the honking and headlights coming closer to you, everything becomes a blur and then it happens you crash into the other vehicle and everything goes black. You can still vaguely hear a voice yell at you in the distance “are you okay? I’m going to call 911 stay with me please”. You want to respond but you’re unable to, after a while you hear the sirens of the ambulance and they break open your car to get you out. “Ma'am? Are you still with us?” You hear one of the paramedics say but you’re still not able to respond. It’s like you’re trapped, your vision is blurred and you can’t speak but you can still hear voices in the distance. “You hear one of the paramedics say something along the lines of ‘call her emergency contact’ to someone.  "Jack” you think. You try to focus on what the paramedic is saying but you can’t quite catch everything. “Good evening sir, this is Robert Hale I’m a paramedic and I’m calling about an accident that has happened…you’re the emergency contact for the victim miss Y/L/N she’s in a very bad state” you can’t hear the rest of the conversation but you did hear the last sentence, you weren’t able to respond in any way but for some reason you still felt a tear roll down your cheek as you heard the paramedic say what would be the last thing you heard before blacking out completely: “okay well you have the address of the hospital if you change your mind, sir”. 

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE LEFOU DISCOURSE

First, can people please quit the ‘and Disney’s patting themselves on the back for this’ thing? I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people say that.

Disney never did what they’re accused of. They didn’t even say a word about it on social media or in the press, as far as I’m concerned (correct me if I’m wrong, I might be.) They weren’t even behind the idea of making LeFou gay.

The movie’s director and Josh Gad were. It wasn’t even in the script in the first place. It was just Bill Condon, a gay man whose long-time partner is a producer of the movie, taking that decision (be it to make LeFou gay or roll with Josh Gad’s interpretation, I admit I’m not sure how it happened exactly), letting Josh Gad do his thing, and then hoping Disney would be okay with it. I don’t care what you think of Disney in general, I’m personally not a Disney fan in the first place, but I care about misinformation.

Because it was Bill Condon, in an interview with a gay magazine, deciding he wanted to reveal it and being happy about it because he’d tried to include diversity in his movie. Not Disney. And what did he say about the ‘gay moment’, that wasn’t included in the Internet article? (it wasn’t the full version, if you wanted to read the whole thing you had to buy the magazine) That he was anxious not to overstate it, because “it’s a moment - it only lasts five seconds.” He never tried to pretend the scene would be huge.

Do you know who patted Disney on the back as if they were behind that decision? Do you know who ignored the full article to make their own, and by doing so did exactly what Bill Condon didn’t want to happen, and spread misinformation everywhere? The media.

Do you know who didn’t do a tiny bit of research that didn’t require buying the magazine before getting all mad and hateful? You all.

I’m tired of your negativity. I’m tired of you all shitting on the movie without even seeing it because you heard the 'gay moment’ is a three seconds scene. Shitting on LeFou without even giving him a chance because all you see is his animated counterpart (and god, did I hate the animated LeFou, and still do,) even though with a little bit of research you would have known he wasn’t going to be portrayed like a villain and an actual fool in the live action.

Besides, there’s more than that ‘gay moment’ at the end. LeFou really is gay and it’s there for the whole movie, as it should be. He’s not just thrown in a guy’s arms and whoop, surprise, he’s gay! Except the Gaston scene, it was subtly obvious that LeFou was gay, which I think is accurate given the time period (by that I mean he’s not going to openly tell everyone who wants to hear it that he likes men–particularly in that village)

Then, LeFou wasn’t funny because he’s gay. He was just funny. And gay. To be honest sometimes Lumière and Cogsworth felt more like comic relief characters than LeFou did.

That’s for the people who haven’t seen it and decided they wouldn’t. Now, about those who have seen it. I honestly can’t believe how many of you are like ‘there’s only one gay moment and it was shit and his gayness was played for laughs’ when… no? There’s more? Did we see the same movie?

And then, there are all the people saying LeFou is a homophobic stereotype.

Let’s be honest here, the only scene in which you could argue he was a flamboyant gay stereotype was the ‘Gaston’ scene. Yeah. That one over the top musical number. In which LeFou was confident, happy and adorable and didn’t give a flying f*ck what people thought of him. And guess what? No one in the movie ever mocks him for it, ever even reacts to him being flamboyant. Not even that asshole Gaston. I personally thought it was an amazing moment.

So… we’re going to do a LeFou scenes recap.

Introduction: LeFou’s funny, not because he’s gay but because he’s pretty much insulting Gaston and Gaston doesn’t notice. It’s basically shown he’s more clever and more reasonable than Gaston. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

Arriving in the village: he just gets off his horse and tells the Bimbettes who were gushing over Gaston that it’s never going to happen. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

Conversation with Gaston after ‘Belle’: he’s got a funny line, but it has nothing to do with him being gay. Then, he does a little head move and a sort of humming sound before following Gaston, that’s true. It could be interpreted as LeFou trying to imitate Gaston, or him acting towards Gaston the same way Gaston acts towards the Bimbettes. Either way, are you really going to hate on him for that little thing?

Mirror: he’s being his little sassy self. Nothing to say until the 'me neither.’ Probably the only moment that could be considered as 'gay for jokes.’ He wasn’t more ridiculous than Gaston a second before, though.

Already talked about the Gaston scene above.

After the ‘Gaston’ scene: “LeFou you’re the best, how is it no girl has snatched you up yet?” - “I’ve been told I’m clingy, but I really don’t get it” was basically a ‘I’m gay and I have a crush on you’ moment, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen the movie eight times, and no one ever laughed. Because it’s not funny. The tone of the moment, the absence of music… that scene clearly touched on the ‘LeFou is gay’ subject, probably in the most direct way in the whole movie, but wasn’t played nor shot as something funny. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

In the woods: LeFou’s once again funny in this one, but because of how he deals with Maurice’s babbling about the Beast and the castle, and with Gaston’s anger. Funny lines, funny expressions easing the oncoming darkness of the scene. Again, it has nothing to do with the fact he’s gay. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

In the tavern: for the second time LeFou shows he has a conscience and questions Gaston’s actions. He’s not comfortable with what has been done and will be done in the scene. There’s nothing funny about him in that scene. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

Mob: once again he tries to talk some sense into Gaston. Nothing funny here, at all. This is the most serious LeFou gets. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

Castle battle: LeFou is back to being funny at some points (‘you must be his grandmother’) Also he knows how to give a good punch, you go boy. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

Ending: just some dancing. Nothing stereotyped about him nor his mannerisms.

So, yeah. This is what makes some people call LeFou a “homophobic stereotype.” Two tiny, not even five seconds moments at the beginning of the movie, out of everything else that was absolutely fine, and yeah, an over the top musical number.

I’m not saying LeFou is perfect representation. But it’s a start, and not a terrible one, by a gay director who had nothing but good intentions. 

Listen. LeFou doesn’t die. LeFou doesn’t end up heartbroken. He’s not a villain. We’ve got a smart, sassy, confident canon gay character in a 1 billion dollars Disney movie, who goes through actual character development, taking him from worshipping and admiring Gaston because of their years of friendship and his loyalty and love for him, to questioning Gaston’s actions, to trying to confront him, to switching sides and being hinted at getting the boyfriend he deserves at the end.

Isn’t that enough for a first? I mean, believe me, I want a gay princess or a gay prince as well. I want a queer Disney story. We’re not there yet, but we will be. And it starts with characters like LeFou. 

To those of you who are/were upset by LeFou’s character: I’m not saying you have no right to be. This is how you feel. This post isn’t for you, but if it helped change your mind, great! But there’s being upset or upset and angry… and then there’s just being angry bordering on straight up hateful. Too many people are just bitter and angry and spreading useless hate, including people who haven’t even seen the movie. I think that’s a shame. LeFou is a good character. They’ve done a wonderful job reinterpreting him, and he and the movie don’t deserve any of the hate they’re getting.

I guess I’m done here. This is what I wanted to say. I love LeFou, I love what they did with his character, I’m hopeful for the future of queer characters in Disney movies, and I’m not going to be sorry for it.

ps: don’t bother with anon hate, I won’t answer and I’ll immediately block you.

Per Manum Flashback #1

“Well, you need a father, of course. I can get you genetic counseling on finding an anonymous donor, if that’s what you want… unless you already have someone in mind.”
“Yeah… I, uh… I just have to figure out how to ask him.”

This is all happening so fast.

She’d only wanted to know if it would be possible. Someday. Not necessarily right now. She knew that the abduction and experimentation had left her unable to conceive, and for a long time she’d accepted her fate. But lately, since she and Mulder have become intimate, she can’t help thinking more and more about what-if. It’s led her to question the specifics of her infertility: would her body be capable of carrying a pregnancy to term if she used a donor egg, for example. Simple information gathering.

But then yesterday Mulder dropped the bombshell on her about the ova he stole from the Lombard Research Facility, almost three years ago. Actually, “bombshell” is far too sedate a word. He stole her ova, secretly had them tested, never told her when they were deemed inviable, and then kept them hidden in his freezer anyway.

But despite the odds, Dr. Parenti seems to think there’s a chance. And a time window that’s rapidly closing. Which means that “someday” just became “now.” And that means she has to figure out how to ask Mulder the question she thought she might have years to plan, if she ever had to ask it at all.

What if he’s not ready for that? God, she is barely ready, and she wants it so badly she can hardly breathe. What will she do if he says no?

What if this breaks them?

She can’t ask him in person, she realizes. If he turns her down, she won’t be able to hide her disappointment, and she doesn’t want him to feel guilted into saying yes if he truly doesn’t want this. No, he needs time, and privacy, to think it over and make his own decision. She will write him a letter and drop it off at the office.

And now she still has to figure out how in the hell to ask the biggest question of her life.

***

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What We Already Know (1/?)

Summary: In a world where everyone has a device on their wrist that tells them the exact moment they meet their soulmate, Emma Swan is faced with the rare circumstance of having a blank timer. Things get even more complicated when she starts falling for Killian Jones, who, according to his timer, will meet his soulmate in six months. Captain Swan AU.

Rating: T for now, possibly M for future chapters

Author’s note: So I got this idea from the movie Timer. It’s a super cute movie and I highly recommend watching it! But you don’t need to watch the movie to understand the fic. This fic is for @stunningswan as a VERY belated CS Secret Santa gift! Sorry for the delay, Savannah! I was struggling with whether this should be a one-shot or a multi-chapter fic, and I decided to go for multi-chapter! I hope you enjoy! 




A double shot of rum is placed in front of Emma Swan and she spends no time in grabbing it and throwing it back. When she pulls the empty glass away from her lips, the timer on her wrist catches her eye, the blinking dashes where the numbers should be taunting her.

From the moment she got her timer inserted when she 14, that’s how it had been. “Don’t worry,” the time agency employee had said. “It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a soulmate. It just means that, wherever they are, they don’t have a timer yet.”

That’s what they told her. Twenty fucking years ago. And nothing has changed.

In the time since then, she’s watched everyone around her - friends, co-workers, complete strangers - find their soulmates. Or at the very least, they know when they’re going to meet them. Meanwhile, Emma has been stuck in a cycle of dating that always ended the same way.

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Bound to Lose

Part Two

Originally posted by clutterbucky

Pairing: Peter x reader

Summary: Peter and (Y/N) have broken up, and (Y/N) wants nothing to do with her ex-boyfriend. Peter respects her wishes, until he stumbles across her one day — as Spider-Man.

Warnings: more angsttt, the reader is angry and says some things 

A/N: this fic is still inspired by Lose My Mind by Dean Lewis. Huge s/o to @thekillingquill for her expert advice for this chapter <3

Part One


“I only lose my mind when I ain’t got you

and how can I win when I’m always bound to lose”


Peter watched (Y/N) from across the cafeteria. She sat with Michelle, but her mind was somewhere else. She pushed her food around her plate with a fork, staring through the table, jolting when Michelle nudged her out of her stupor and placed a comforting hand on her arm. When (Y/N) wasn’t looking, Michelle shot Peter a glance so vicious he finally understood the phrase “if looks could kill”.

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anonymous asked:

hi, love your 3x20 meltdown! :) oh and how about their lips never parted with that flip!! but I just stared at the gifs of Felicity walking away in Nanda parbat and him looking destroyed af... so a prompt idea, in the lines of something like them now getting back together and Oliver saying to F. that he watched her walk away two times and he couldnt survive a third... well something like that, I'm sure you'd make it more interesting than me here :)

Last Moment (Olicity, 5x20 spec fic, Explicit)

Thank you, anon! And oh yes it absolutely kills me how their lips never parted. P-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n.

For the sake of this ficlet, let’s pretend there is going to be a parallel between 3x20 and 5x20 (*crosses fingers*) and instead of Nanda Parbat, it’s Russia. This includes Oliver/Susan of Season 5 paralleling Felicity/Ray of Season 3 (they break up). 

This is the morning after. (Slight Angst Warning)

Please see the end for my additional Olicity thoughts in Season 5 re: this ficlet.

(Read on AO3)

*

Oliver watched her.

Her movements were mechanical… no, they were methodical, each move planned with a deliberateness that he recognized all too well. There was nothing playful or bashful, nothing that spoke to what had just happened. Not that he expected it. Some part of him had known this was coming when he knocked on her door last night, when he saw the tiny crack in her facade, when he touched her cheek and she leaned into him, sighing with a heaviness he felt in his soul. He did the same thing when facing a moment that might be his last - compartmentalize, just to get through the next minute, and the next, and the next.

She had to, for what she was walking into.

Acid burned in his chest, but he forced himself to stay quiet, wanting to just watch her for a little bit longer. He didn’t say anything as she pulled her pants on, buttoning them. Her bra was next, followed by her shirt and then her jacket.

She was leaving, like he knew would happen. And he knew he had to let her, but god, he didn’t want to.

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even underneath the waves, i’ll be holding on to you

aftg zombie au, “i want to go back for you”. warning: very long
basically, what would happen if neil and andrew were separated during an apocalypic situation.


The news says it first.

The world is ending and everything has gone to shit.

Nowhere is safe and nothing is okay anymore.

Nothing was ever okay, but they make it sound new, like this is something nobody expected to happen. Not here, never here.

It started with a virus. It was like the flu in every other way; the fever that kept people bedridden for days, the sickness and the headaches. It was like the flu in every other way but one: it slowly ate away at people’s insides, made living people into nothing but hollow hosts. Nobody would have expected a kindergarten teacher from the West to lash out her students but it was even worse when she bit one, and then he bit his mother three weeks later and she bit her boss. Like that, the vicious cycle continued. Everywhere there was panic, there was a disaster, there was death.

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what does BPD feel like?

BPD isn’t just phases of being sad and adding some cutting every now and then for good measure and feeling better when somebody comes along and kisses your scars and tells you everything is going to be alright. it’s not something that „just goes by“. 

living with BPD is hell. it’s deeply internalized patterns of behavior and feelings which complicate your life on a daily basis and make normal daily tasks seem like huge obstacles. there’s phases when you feel like showering or eating are impossible things to do, when you just don’t want to get up in the morning but instead stay in bed under your covers all day so you don’t have to interact with other people. 

BPD is being completely fixated on one person and not wanting to spend time with anyone else and inevitably overwhelming that person with your constant need for affection, and even though you know your expectations are impossible to meet, you just can’t stop and have to watch yourself destroy every meaningful relationship you ever have.

BPD is the constant feeling of not being good enough. it’s constantly feeling insecure if the people who you love most even care about you at all. it’s crying and panic attacks when your favorite person doesn’t reply within minutes. it means an existential crisis and suicidal thoughts when someone cancels plans with you. it’s completely breaking down when somebody doesn’t keep a promise. it’s the constant need for attention and affection from one specific person and the constant wish to have them by your side at all times. it’s helplessness and sadness when you are by yourself. it’s being dependent on how people treat you. it’s constantly changing between adoring and hating someone, based on how they behave in that very moment, no matter whether or not their behavior has anything to do with you. it’s the overwhelming wish for a social life and at the same time being deathly afraid of spending time with other people. it’s constantly feeling left out or like you’re the fifth wheel. it means feeling unwanted or insignificant when your favorite person spends time with other people and doesn’t want you to come because they ’want to do something without you for a change’. it’s constantly feeling like you have to explain yourself to everyone even though you don’t even understand yourself. it’s feeling like you are manipulative and a bad person because your expectations and demands are ridiculous and way too high for anyone to meet. it’s constantly being disappointed over and over again and feeling unimportant / unloved because nobody can ever live up to your high expectations.

BPD is the fear of losing someone when they meet somebody new and always seeing new people in their life as a threat or competition. it’s feeling like you have to convince even your significant other every day that you are still worth spending time with. it’s being submissive all the time and never speaking up or calling someone out if they don’t treat you well because you are afraid it will lead to an argument which in turn will make them leave you. it means swallowing your own feelings and problems because you don’t want to annoy them out of fear they will walk away. it’s feeling like you always have to function and can never have a bad day because people will get tired of you instantly and immediately replace you with a better person because you are worthless and disposable. it means having no emotional permanence which makes you feel like once people are out of sight their feelings for you are gone. it’s when „I love you“ and „I’m here for you“ doesn’t mean anything unless the person thinks of you, talks to you, wants to spend time with you 24/7 or proves it any other way.

BPD is the constant fear of not being able to handle life. it means not knowing who you are or what you want. it’s getting up every morning and being a completely different person with new fears, new dreams, new interests. it’s the desperate search for yourself without ever finding it. it’s trying different personalities and it never feeling right. it’s ‘stealing’ personality traits from other people and trying to make them work for you. it’s the desperate wish for a hobby of some sort to dive into and cope but never finding anything that actually interests you for more than 24 hours. it’s desperately wanting to get your feelings out (by writing, drawing, anything) but never being able to. it’s a pressure in your head you just can’t get rid of.

BPD is the constant urge to slice your skin open even if you have been clean for months. it means ups and downs in a matter of minutes. your favorite person texted you first? life is beautiful, anything is possible, I love myself and all my friends, everything is wonderful. they don’t reply to your text within a couple of minutes? might as well kill myself, I am unimportant and worthless, I’m never anyone’s first choice, everyone has other things and people in their lives that are much more important.

BPD is never knowing if your feelings are valid. it’s never knowing if you are entitled to being sad or angry about a specific situation or if you’re just being too sensitive again. it’s making a huge drama out of nothing because you always see something negative in everything. it’s sensing the slightest anomalies in someone’s way of talking, texting or energy and immediately being convinced it’s because of you. it’s being convinced that your significant other hates you when you don’t talk / text every day. it’s hearing a group of people laugh and being absolutely certain they are making fun of you. it’s getting emotional and crazy about something absolutely insignificant and not being able to stop yourself even though you know it’s stupid. it means suppressing mental breakdowns in front of other people and bottling up your feelings so nobody will see them because that would be manipulative and unfair because you would force people to take care of you when they clearly don’t care about you to begin with and at most tolerate you. BPD is not even opening up to your therapist and acting like you’re fine even though you’re falling apart.

BPD means daily headaches or stomach pains. it means a variety of psychosomatic problems that keep you from living a normal life. it’s having to get up every day and go to school / work even though you are in pain and feeling dead inside. it’s having to interact with people and maintaining superficial relationships even though you are tired and exhausted and don’t want to open your mouth at all. it means not eating for days at a time because you just don’t have the energy to. it means being tired all the time and just wanting to be in your room all day.

BPD isn’t beautiful or romantic or cute. it’s the daily struggle against your own body and mind in order to get along in a society that only sees value in people who function properly 100% of the time. it’s the daily internal monologue of having to convince yourself that nothing is as bad as it seems to you. it’s constantly telling yourself that your feelings are not valid. it’s a constant struggle to find your place in this crazy world when you don’t even know who you are.

anonymous asked:

Okay I'm totally going to need you to convince me how this is going to be okay because right now I actually feel pretty sick. I don't see how they have enough time once they leave the framework for Fitz to deal with this trauma. Fitz has killed a woman now, even if he wasn't aware he was doing it. And if he tortures Daisy, I just don't think I can watch that. To come out and have their happy engagement would be wrong and rushed. When do they get to heal? Where is the payoff???

Hi Anon!  And anyone else who needs this…

Its Going to be Okay!

This story isn’t supposed to be happy or fun, we are in a reality built by a crazy, evil book influenced, programmed by the questionable Dr. Radcliffe, and obsessed with becoming a real girl AIDA here.  She has twisted each and every single character.  Fitz and May more than anyone else. 

I’m just going to run down my major points here.  I hope it helps.  Again I am not ashamed to say that I am still enjoying this arc.  Its uncomfortable and frustrating as all get out.  But it has me rooting SO HARD for Fitzsimmons right now.  For the entire team right now. 

Fitz partly a distraction:

We all know that something the writers do is the fake out.   They have us looking at and focused on one thing so we literally don’t see the truck that is coming at us from left field.   Season 2 for example.  When Real Shield made their move it looked like they were our big bad of the season, that would be the arc.  When in fact it was Jaiying and the Inhumans that were the bigger threat.  So right now they have the fandom so wrapped up in Fitz….that we are ‘missing’ that thing over in left field about to hit us.  A betrayal is coming guys and its going to hurt.

Fitz has been brainwashed:

This is not our Fitz.  Period.  Iain said at Wondercon that they were two different people.  Two different characters.  Radcliffe said when talking to him, he talked about our Fitz as a different person, because he was.   We saw over and over throughout the episode AIDA manipulate him.  I see things like taking his hand, asking for him to protect her, of vocalizing they are trying to take him from her as the triggers.  You know how we know he’s been brainwashed…how down right TERRIFIED AIDA was of Radcliffe talking to him.  That Jemma was taken out of the picture even before she could be a factor in his life.  That AIDA boasted that she had manipulated this world and those in it to meet her needs and wants.  Yes, she fixed a regret but each regret built on her fantasy.

With Fitz this goes well beyond fixing a regret.  I still believe that initially making him the son his father wanted was just step one in AIDA’s process.  AIDA took him as her own. 

Everyone is Dark:

We’re not done yet here guys.  We have more oh please no moment coming with everyone coming.   And yes, Fitz is one of the most drastically different and one they are making sure to highlight but I am uncomfortable with everyone.

  • Coulson:  Yes he’s breaking thanks to Tahiti but he still let Hydra take off with one of his own students.  The big reason I think we have Coulson back is he is getting that “you did make a difference/Shield needs you arc here”.   Mace is not the leader that Shield needs…he wasn’t in the real world and he won’t be here. 
  • Mace:  I am really worried about this version of Mace.   While he is doing the right thing I’m afraid he’s going to do some things in that quest that aren’t good.  Not to mention that he is a massive threat to the lives of May and Fitz.  He will kill either one of them given a chance.  He almost reminds me of Jaiying a little here with the “One of us” comment from the promo especially makes me thing of this.
  • Mack:  He will do ANYTHING to protect his daughter (and low key worried how he found the Resistance so easily here guys).  He sold out Daisy.  But what was very interesting was his view on Inhumans.  When we first met Mack he was ‘against’ them for lack of a better word.  It was work with Daisy, Coulson, and Shield that helped him change his mind and become one of their greatest protectors.
  • May:  Has been twisted as much as Fitz has.  She has been in there the longest.  Gone through the most ‘reboots’ of the Framework.  It was her team that beat up Daisy.  It was her that manipulated Mack using Hope. She is number 3 in Hydra and is a huge threat to her own team as well as a target.
  • Ward:  So leery of Ward.  I really fear Jemma will be who he betrays again.  And its also interesting he could have gotten a shot on Madame Hydra there…#1….instead aimed for Fitz Hydras #2.  Just saying guys…our master manipulators might be at work again here.  For him if it comes down to giving up Jemma to save Skye…he’s going to give up Jemma to save Skye.  Just as Mack gave up Daisy to save Hope.


They are their own worst enemies: 

AIDA is likely the worst villain they have gone up against, a horrid culmination of everyone they have faced before.  She isn’t dumb she built this world for HER.  She is using loopholes to her advantage.  Otherwise I firmly feel that everyone but Fitz would already be dead.  So since she had to keep them alive she manipulated (even bragged to Radcliffe that she’d done it) those regrets for her gain.

She also has been in everyone’s heads.  She’s been around the team before. She knows they are the biggest threat to her when they are working together as a team.   So she either split them up or turned them on each other. 

She has also made them each others dragons.  It is clear now AIDA is in Madame Hydra.  She knows right where Mace and the Playground is but allows the Resistance to continue because it feeds into the manipulation.  Especially with Fitz, its another thing he has to protect her from.

I discussed in my meta last night that AIDA seems to be trying to make it so the team won’t ‘want’ to save Fitz (more lies, more manipulation).   Here he’s The Doctor, Mace won’t bat and eye if he can kill him  Isn’t going to give Jemma the resources she needs to get him alive.  AIDA has painted Jemma as the villain.  Leaving Jemma pretty much alone now in trying to save him (oh look another parallel).  She has Coulson for now but I’m betting he will be pulled away too soon by saving Daisy or getting to May.

She took Fitz as her own:

A lot of what AIDA has done was to build this world how she wanted.  To get who and what she wanted, and she wanted Fitz.  Someone who would love and protect her.  Made her happy.  Her interaction with Radcliffe very telling.  We said that Fitz treating her like a person would come back…and boy has it ever.  She also wanted someone that loved and protected her like Fitz did with Jemma…so she took Jemma’s place.  May too, she’s ‘rewarded’ May with a high position because I believe May respected her, liked her, called her brave.

But in taking Fitz in so many ways we really do have an epic love story set up here.   Jemma is going to have to fight to get him back.  I feel like part of that whole spectacle on the island with Agnes was for show.  That AIDA knew Jemma was there  set up that whole thing with Agnes so Fitz would see it.  Try to shake Jemma, make her think that he was too far gone,.  It also took away the little support Jemma had found.  Leaving her alone in trying to save him.  AIDA is scared as heck of Jemma and her saving him.

AIDA also doesn’t have him fully yet.   Fitz says he would cross the universe for her but he HAS done it for Jemma.

Fitz is in there:

In the horror of feels that was last night we saw Fitz peeking through more than once.  And every single time we saw it it was because Jemma was in the mix either in person or in a picture.  And only with Jemma, May, Daisy, and Radcliffe had no effect (though Radcliffe planted seeds, very important seeds). 

Originally posted by stydiaislove

Aside for Coulson who is aided by Tahiti we haven’t seen anyone else ‘break through” at all. 

  • May:  Came into contact with Fitz, Daisy, and Mack…nothing. 
  • Mace:  Came into contact with Jemma, Mack, and Coulson…nothing.
  • Mack:  Came into contact with Daisy, May, Mace, and Coulson…nothing.

Engagement is Endgame:

When we look back at interviews from Loeb, Jed, and Mo they have been hinting at this arc all season.  And they have been setting up an engagement for Fitzsimmons all season too. 

“This young man as you have never seen him before” that was what Leob said at SDCC and also where we first heard the ‘reward’ talk.  And we have seen them pay off everything so far. And coupled with the timing of Jed’s quote in EW, engagement coming up in 15, hints all season, and getting their middle names.  I think once they are out they aren’t going to risk it again.

“It could happen.  If they ever get back together, that’s something that could happen in their future.”

And I’m sorry to say this but this is TV, A drama at that, we have to jump through all sorts of hoops to get this kind of pay off.  That is part of why we are now tearing our hair out and crying until Jemma gets him back.  And when she does the pay off will be worth it.  Look at what we got after Hogface.

The Fallout:

AOS has never ‘dealt’ with trauma and recovery very well.  Even Daisy’s recovery a victim of the Ghost Rider Arc.  It is often done over hiatus or “off camera.  Now we have a situation where its the whole cast that will have things to deal with.  So yes, we will miss seeing it but because we don’t see it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. 

We can also have the healing ‘begin’ in the Framework, especially for Fitz as he helps get everyone out or plays a part in stopping AIDA once as for all. 


Sorry that was a lot but I hope it helps.  Just remember its always Darkest before the Dawn and our Sunrise is coming guys.

Originally posted by mrsdecaestecker

anonymous asked:

Hi! So I don't know if I'm going to to explain my request well but I'll give it a shot haha So basically Gaston and his friends are playfully arguing about who the best with women is and they challenge gaston to seduce the reader. She secretly likes him and so agrees when he does approach her. Over time they genuinely fall in love but then reader finds out it was all a bet and is devastated. Gaston has to convince her he truly loves her. Was that okay haha! Thanks!! 😂❤

harlem-trotter said to rreader: Hi! If it’s not much trouble, may I request a Gaston x reader where he only wants to woo the reader because he wants to win a bet? And when the reader finds out, she is super mad and sad because she fell in love with him, and Gaston realizes that he loves the reader when she leaves..

Pairing: Gaston x Reader
Fandom: Disney ; Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Warnings: smut + angst (also, this doesn’t end in a happy happy ending, since I don’t believe in the whole ‘women should forgive men instantly’. Honestly, every time I read a fic like that I lose 10 years of my life.)

A/N: hope you two don’t mind me combining these two requests, but since they’re almost the same.. anyways, thank you so much for these requests. I honestly picture Gaston falling in love with a woman like that. It’s soooo Gaston-y. So here is the first piece of (hopefully) many Gaston smut stories. Hope you like it <3

                                                          *****

“Come on, we all know that I’m the only one who can have everyone they want,” Gaston exclaimed, extremely confident in himself.

A few of his friends nodded, others raised their beers and drank, but one shook his head.

“You couldn’t get Belle. You all remember that, don’t you?” he looked around and gained another round of nods.

Gaston shrugged and sank a little lower in his seat, opening his legs and to anyone else, looking like a completely overconfident dick. Probably even to some his friends.

“Fine. You want to prove to me that you can have any girl? Seduce (Y/N), if you manage that, we’ll believe you and no one will ever question it again.”

He laughed as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Fraaaaan, Sero so handsome. What about BakuSero ?

A good ship I might draw something for in the near future! :D if inspiration doesn’t leave me again, that is

Anon said: I don’t know if you said anything but is there a reason you haven’t drawn anything haikyuu related lately? Not complaining but just interested why?

Hmmmmm there’s a few reasons I’ve talked about on various occasions in the past, stuff that goes from “the manga isn’t all that inspiring atm” to “the fandom isn’t responding in a way that makes me want to share more” and also “reposters sure are a pain aren’t they”, but lately I’ve been thinking that I really wouldn’t mind drawing some hq’s again so! Don’t think about those too much, consider it just a temporary hiatus :D

Anon said: Rude quiestion i know and im sorry but, will you draw some haikyuu stuff again or…?

I will! Can’t promise my focus won’t shift on other characters once I’ll start again, or generally be more spread out through everyone instead of focusing on a couple like I was doing before, but I will!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey Sevi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm feeling really shitty right now and your content always cheers me up. I was wondering if you had any dad might or dadzawa stuff that you could post. Sorry if I'm bothering you during finals season. Thanks

So sadly, I didn’t have the time to come up with something entirely new - but luckily, I still had a unfinished mini-story in my files that I only needed to polish up a bit and change a few things.

I hope this helps a bit, dear anon! May things go better for you soon! =D

____________________________________________________________

He’s late.

The thought came unbidden, and Aizawa could feel that single thought turning his disinterested expression into a frowning one.

“Mic,” he tried not to let his annoyance seep through, even though his friend would probably know anyway. “Which one is the next match?”

Mic whirled on his chair, legs stretched, not heading the fact that the moderator’s booth was open to almost every side and every spectator looking up could see him behave like a child.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

How would Suga, Oikawa, Bokuto, and Kuroo react to an S/O who uses morbid/self-depricating humour? But like its just their sense of humour? Like they don't actually want to die or think they're that bad at everything, it's just what they joke about? (i.e. "at least if I die I don't have to do exams lol" "lol cause we all know I'm an incapable mess haha" y'know that sorta stuff)

Okay, so I decided not to put in anymore examples of these kinds of jokes other than the ones that you’ve provided, Anon, I only focused on the boy’s reaction to them. Mainly because I know how this kind of joking can get out of hand really fast and the last thing I want is for people to think that these types of comments should always be taken as jokes - they shouldn’t, get to know the person that is saying them.

I hope that makes sense? I primarily don’t want anyone to think that I take comments like these lightly - I don’t and my anxiety won’t let me when I hear others use words like this, but I do find myself saying similar things, especially when it comes to my schoolwork or my workplace in general.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy, Anon.

P.s. Please remember to always let me know if I have done anything to offend anyone. It’s the last thing I want to do and am always willing to change it. As someone who is striving to write for my career, I take these things that you guys send me and try to challenge myself to shove my mind into that characters thought process, even in touchy situations. There are certain topics that I am not ready to breach yet - which is why you’ve seen me deny some requests - but I know that there may be a day in my career when I might have to. Until then, I’ll do my best to represent everything as accurately as my knowledge will allow. So, really, never feel bad to let me know when things did not add up well. It just means that I need more time to research as a writer and that I am not prepared to tackle a certain/controversial topic. Sorry, I’m always worried about things I post.


Sugawara Koushi

  • Legit, I feel like he kinda has this sort of humor as well. Like, he makes these kind of comments to Daichi and Asahi all the time (Asahi usually freaks out) and so when they start using them as well, he completely understands. He’d just nod his head and play up the talk with them.
    • But I feel like this is also something he had to check on when he discovered that it was their main source of jokes. Occasionally, he got it, then when it just kept coming, he felt the need to pull them aside and ask them seriously. He just wants to make sure. He loves them and doesn’t seriously want anything bad happening to them.
    • I’m sure he stills checks in every now and then - even with being reassured all the time. It’s just one of those things that’s always edging at the back of his mind and he needs to be told that they love themselves.

Oikawa Tooru

  • Would have idea how to respond the first time one of those lines comes out of their mouth. They’re probably sitting there having a good time and then next thing you know his face completely crumbles and he stares at them with those large brown doe eyes. But he wouldn’t know what to say cause they said it so nonchalantly and yet it’s not something you just say nonchalantly??
  • He’d totally let it go the first time and when it popped up the next time, he’d just give them this look and get all serious. He’d need them to tell him that they didn’t feel that way about themselves and that they believed themselves to be a wonderful person!
    • I feel like Oikawa’s dealt with self-hate before, so this is something he takes very seriously when he hears it from them. He might even have a really hard time with their humor for quite a while even with the constant reassurances that it’s not what they really believe about themselves.

Bokuto Koutarou

  • His instant response would be to start listing everything about them that was beautiful and magnificent. It doesn’t matter that they’re joking, they mean everything to him and he won’t sit back and let them talk bad about themselves in any way, shape, or form.
    • Seriously, I think the first time they say something like that he’d be so close to tears, he wouldn’t know what to do. Those are the last kind of words that he wants coming from them because they are so beautiful. Precious boy might end up weeping with relief when they tell him they don’t really mean it.
  • It would be a constant thing of reassurance every time they make a joke like that. He’d turn to them with panic in his eyes every time and they’d have to quickly reply with ‘joking’ lest they want him to start getting all emotional over all the reasons he loved them again.

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • He’d laugh the first time a joke like that came from their lips, just like, yup I’ve felt that way before kind of reaction. But when it happened again he might even call them out right there about easing up on the self-abuse. He’d definitely watch them carefully from there, seeing how they hold themselves and comparing their words with their actions.
    • He’ll notice the way that they don’t really line up? Like, they hold themselves too confidently to really feel the way their speaking, kinda thing? But he’d of course question them just to be certain.
  • The joking would continue and he’d always keep an eye on them and when they’re having a bad day, he won’t let them even say things like that. There’s no reason to be saying those thing - even as joke - when their already feeling bad. He loves them and cares very deeply about their mental health and will be there to protect them even when they don’t think they need it.
BS&T theory (how everything could link)

So BTS dropped the Japanese version of Blood Sweat and Tears and the visuals are amazing!! Like truly amazing!! But now my theory.. I’m going to break it down by parts so hear me out.

- okay so here is what I think and I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense.

So in this MV there is a lot of symbolism that connects all eras of the Boy Meets series. I think this is actually what happened before and after everything went wrong. For example, we see Jungkook being forced by Rap Mon to drink absinthe (a hallucinogen) and Suga is desperately trying to get him out of it. But fails as he falls down on to the floor and it covered by black smoke. Now I think the black smoke represents him being submerged in all evil as he has lost the right path and has fallen deeper into his evil self, hence why we first see him with wings. He is doing this as Suga is the hotel (the one in I need you) and Suga goes to where he is and tries to get him out of it but it’s too late. In the Korean version Jungkook is swinging and he licks of the remaining of the absinthe from his finger (absinthe is knowing for making you feel floaty and like you’re being swung around) hence why we see him do all the things he does in the Korean version. After he is forced by RM to drink he loses himself and Suga tries to get him out but gives up as he is way too deep to be saved. Thai ties to past eras as we see Jungkook and Suga fighting or being distance a lot. Suga does not agree with what Jungkook and RM are doing that they fight so much.
Now that was the Jungkook portion.

Okay so Jimin. Wow Jimin is a tough one and it requires a lot. So we know his downfall started with a lie (committing a sin represented by the apple) and this made him all craze and confused as he couldn’t handle it (Lie is basically his plot within the plot of this series). As he keep living this lie Suga comes in a attempts to save him after failing to do so with Jungkook. He covers Jimin (eyes) and tries to protect him from the harsh reality of his actions. (Guess why he is always being blindfolded). But in this MV Jimin actually wants to see the damage his lie actually made an he runs away from Suga. As he keeps trying to get himself out of this dark tunnel of lie he almost finds himself again, the one he used to be beige he commits the lie. But Suga once again covers his eyes and get him submerged back into their world of evil. This is why we see him biting into the apple. Also Suga does fail in protecting him again since his true evil self submerged back into their world.
In this world of evil him and Jungkook are submerged so far in that they try to hold back V and keep him there and they manage to by literally ‘drugging him’ with evil. (The whole sequence of V moving around is THEM already submerging him.

Now V, the fallen angel. We know that V killed someone and that was his sin (all because he was trying to protect the one he cared for the most) This led him to fall in a loop between being good and evil leading him to be completely evil. While in his evil state he dragged RM and Hope (hence why they are the ones introducing drugs to the other Young ones). And once he tries to get out Jimin and Jungkook hold him back while Hope stabs him in the heart leading him to fall back but making it worse as he was already deep and was just pretending to be an angel. Next we see Jin beating him up, that ends up with V stabbing him and than walking out and tracing the knife along to seek the other members. Why I think he is looking for the other members? Because you can see the malice in his face, he is so far gone that he completely lost himself and now wants to get rid of what “dragged him back in” but he was there already. Than we see him out of a window ready to jump again but as we in the Korean version he already jumped for his “salvation” and that’s why he puts his hands up as in “I got it” but his skies are still dark meaning he didn’t. V is still in that world even though he thinks he got out. He is still playing a pretense and it seems that he won’t get out any time soon.
V is under this mantle of lie and evil but it seems white (meaning it’s where he is meant to be)

Hope and RM. this two are even more complicated to explain. One this is for sure, they were dragged into their evil by V as he convinced them to let their evil side take it’s true form while using their bad aspect (Hope pills addiction) and RM and his lack of control. Hope actually does not drag in anyone, but RM drags Jungkook in and Hope keeps on showing them the ways into their evil. In the Korean MV hope shoots and arrow, him shooting V with the dart is within the same scene as the Korean MV. Hope, RM and V are completely gone but V is the one that is playing even more with all of the boys that now he is trying to get rid of them.
Hope and Jimin dance to Lie and Boy Meets Evil and that’s their plot in the storyline. Hope met evil through his pills and Jimin through his lie. Jimin was blinded of the effects of his lie by Suga while Hope had to deal with it by himself and dig himself even deeper. RM was dug into the world by being the one V went to first after he did his sin that led to RM confessing his sin and they started a whole loop of evil dragging everyone along with their inside demons.
Their demons have consumed them but RM is trying to look into himself again (hence all the reflective surfaces around the MV) and Hope is gone.

Jin and RM. yup RM pops back out. So the theory so far was Jin is dead, like he dies and there was turning back. But in this MV it makes it seem that the reason everyone believes this was because of V dragging them with him into evil. Him doing this is what actually kills Jin, he can’t handle seeing those younger than him falling but he does not know all of their dark pasts and when he does it leads him to his 'death’. When he did find out he tried to get them out but it was too late a V had already consumed them and why he is beating up V. He apologizes as he didn’t want to but had to, to get the evil out of him that ends with him stabbed. But Jin has a dark past by himself and he couldn’t deal with that either but seeing his friends so far gone rips his heart out and killing him on the inside. Now why did I mention RM? At the end of the Jap. MV they are together again and RM says “seems like we haven’t seen each other for a while” (DISCLAIMER I DO NOT SPEAK KOREAN BUT MY KOREAN FRIEND DID ME THE FAVOR OF TRANSLATING) and this is how Jin and RM are connected. Being the eldest they feel guilty that they couldn’t help the youngsters. RM actually followed them and even lead them into their demise while Jin attempted to, ended up dying and now he is trying to come back and save them.
(The more I say save them I think of Save Me.. cries) and the reason why they hadn’t seen much of each other was because they were dealing with the youngsters fall separately they lost each other and their oldest role. And RM being seduced by V led him to believe Jin was actually dead and when their see each other he is surprised because he genuinely thought he had left.
Also Jin is seen as their father figure, being the eldest and all, who killed their father? V. (I know this might be far off and if you don’t agree kys completely fine).

Now Suga. Out of all of them Suga is the one that seems to not have fallen. Even in the choreography he is the one being pushed down not going down at his own accord. He tried to help Jungkook when he let his evil take over, but he couldn’t. He tried to help Jimin and he succeeded at some point but blinding him of the truth about his lie did more harm than good as he never let him confront what he deserved. RM, Hope, V were so far gone that he didn’t try leading him to distance himself from Jungkook who was following RM (the leader) like a puppy following his every moves. Even at the last moment Suga is still trying to save Jungkook but it’s too late as he has been succumbed by darkness and he keeps trying to save Jimin by again covering his eyes of himself but he falls even deeper. Suga also had his own demons, but he somehow managed to keep them at bay and instead of letting them take over he confronted them and now it’s trying to help this who he thinks are still in hope of being saved but he is doing it wrongly. You can see him as a guarding angel but one who seems to lack experience while having the one that’s needed. Why he fought with Jungkook was because he saw all of them falling and when he tried to help he was pushed away and thought of as wrong but now he is what they need and he is trying to not let himself fall while helping them.

The last scene. Jin and RM meeting again. It looks like they are trying to go back and change it all. Him paying RM is sort of a bribe to stick by him instead of following V which RM seems to now do since he gives this smile…
and now whatever the future holds or the past.

One thing that I add here and not my Amino is that the second to last scene where all of Jin shatters. That’s him giving up his battle against suppressing V. In BS&T Korean version only his face shatters as he is slowly loosing against V, but now he lost. He let V succumb the others into darkness and their evil selves. They lost all innocence (the one they lost on Run and Fire) and the one they realized they were going to loose (I Need U) when they lost it already and were looking for something (Save Me) and BS&T falls in between in some separation of spheres. And this MV is a continuation yet manages to fall before the Korean version and it’s trippy as hell.

Now Spring Day and Not Today.. Not Today is them fighting back. Like that’s what the whole MV is about but Jungkook, being the youngest, finds himself holding onto what they are running away from their evil. As his young mind does not process it as the others he leads them to their fall again but this time it’s their death completely.

Spring Day is them already gone trying to find for answers. Why they are in different places? Because they all committed different scenes that their resting place is separated but the manage to find each other again on the train. The train that is taking them to genie resting place. (In some places it is believed that a train takes your soul to the place where you would be judged. Wether you live or die) and that place within is their tiny little resting place before resting completely. V is the one mostly near the rail road because he is ready to go as he knows the damage he did and now wants to give it all a rest. (Hence why his line is constantly 'MY best friend’ as he knows what his sin did to them). Why they are running? Even though they know what they did, they still are unable to grasp reality. We see them running every time or walking away. The run in Spring Day is their last run before they leave their world and go to be judged. (BS&T felt like Paradise but was Hell it’s the same concept).

(Also read the tags.. MY fan rant)