i'm going to pretend

Sirius and Harry were in charge of candles.

@awkwardfortuneteller of course i’ve seen that tweet

3

Let’s please talk about this moment

Jun was trying really hard to hide that he was about to cry, Vernon noticed, and probably teased him for it because it was a rare sight. When the staff came with tissues, Jun kind of scrambled to get one, like he didn’t want anyone to notice. Vernon had his full attention on Jun afterwards and rubbed him on the back even though Jun kept walking away and looked at him like, “What? I wasn’t crying.”

9

Did you know? If you catch a falling maple leaf, you’ll fall in love with the person you’re walking with.

8

happy v-day from straight white boys everywhere!

homemade valentines taken from real texts from a certain boy

because modern day dregs is my favorite au and i’m not sorry?

nina

  • she works at a clothing boutique. she only applied for the job in order to get the employee’s discount
  • she’s the girl to call if you’re going to be sick and can’t come into work because she’s always looking for more shifts. turns out she needs the extra cash since all of her paychecks go to new shoes
  • she has expensive tastes for someone with a minimum wage job
  • she owns every shade of red lipstick on the planet. if you ask her what the difference is between ablaze and bright red she will proceed to point out colors throughout the day and ask you what color you see because clearly your eyes are impaired and she’s quite worried
  • she signs up for all the improv classes
  • she’s watched every single rom com netflix offers. even foreign ones. sometimes she watches without subtitles and everyone is like when did you learn THIS language, too???
  • she’s an avid user of emojis. sometimes she uses them as responses and you have to spend five minutes trying to decipher what the heck they all mean as a sentence. you might randomly receive a scene created with emojis in the middle of the day because she’s bored
  • she knows every pop song. every single mainstream song on the radio. if you get into her car you’ll be attending a concert. she screams the lyrics, even when she doesn’t know them, she’ll make them up. she’ll also substitute any of her passengers into the song.
  • also that car? it’s a piece of junk. you have to use your elbows to open the doors. literally. there’s a technique, thump with your fist, a swift kick, a wriggle of the handle, a tap with your elbow. tada. yes it’s dramatic, yes it’s mostly for show, but she definitely enjoys doing it. she wouldn’t be nina if she didn’t like a scene?? also it’s fun to watch the other dregs do it
    • though matthias somehow just yanks the door open with no problem and kaz never goes anywhere near her car (he’s a car snob)
Taste

In bringing this collection to a close, I decided to take it back to the start.

You can also find this fic here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12286317/5/Sense-ational

Enjoy.

The first time she kissed him, he tasted like butterbeer and something distinctly James. The combination made her head swim, her heart pound, and her body crave him, his mouth, his body, his skin against hers.

It was a crisp October afternoon, the first Hogsmeade weekend of their seventh year, and Lily had finally said yes, enthusiastically yes, to James’ Hogsmeade proposal. He’d been stunned at first, thought she was having him on, made worse by the fact that instead of answering his desperate enquiry of “Are you serious?!” she’d said, “No, but your brother is,” winked at the tall, wavy haired man next to him, and walked off. She never could resist a Sirius joke. Neither, she knew, could Sirius, and his barking laughter followed her down the corridor. James, unwilling to leave things on such unsure footing, chased her down the corridor and took her hand. “You’re actually saying yes?” He’d said, the words quiet and deep and fast, his eyes searching her face and when Lily broke into a smile he looked like he’d been stunned. “Yes, James. I’m actually saying yes.”

He’d dragged her down to Hogsmeade as soon as they’d finished breakfast that morning, though ‘finished’ is perhaps not quite the right word. James had practically inhaled an entire bowl of porridge, his knee bouncing incessantly under the table, and Lily had barely had time to grab a few pieces of toast before his hand was in hers and he was hauling her away from the table.

She was shouting indignantly and shoving bites of toast into her mouth as he pulled her into the brisk morning air, but his hand was warm in hers and the electricity shooting through her veins kept her from protesting too fiercely against the disruption of her breakfast. Instead, she gripped his hand more firmly in her own, bumped her hip against his playfully - “You better feed me today, Potter, or you’re dead.” His eyes were sparkling with amusement when he smiled back at her, “On my honour, Evans.”

When they got to the gates, James had stopped them, moving to stand in front of her, his eyes moving over her face, and Lily’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at him because he was just too damn beautiful to be real and how had she never realised it before? She wanted to grab him right there and kiss him, but they hadn’t even had their date yet and she knew how long he’d been waiting for this, so she ran her tongue along the back of her teeth and bit the corner of her lip in an attempt to control herself. But he was still looking at her like that, like she was everything, the only thing in the world, and the air was crackling with so much electricity that she could taste it on her tongue when she pulled in a deep breath. He blinked and smiled an embarrassed smile before reaching up and taking his scarf from around his neck. “Here,” he said, grinning at her, “You look cold.”

His fingers burned trails across her skin as he tied the scarf securely around her, and she swallowed the desperate reply that was bubbling up in her, opting to thank him quietly instead. It was the exact opposite of everything she normally would have done and she knew James had noticed because he’d cocked an amused eyebrow at her as they began walking again, but she couldn’t trust her mouth because it was begging her to either taste every centimetre of his skin or tell him how she thought she might actually, desperately, be falling in love with him and neither of those were options while they were making their way to the high street on their first official date.

The morning was a whirlwind of sound and colour - they went into all her favourite shops, he detailed everything he’d ever planned for all those rejected dates, her cheeks flushed with a bit more than the cold when she told him that she was glad he’d finally earned her attention. She tried to remember all the details, commit it all to memory, because she knew this was something she’d want to remember, that it was one of those rare moments you realise, as it’s happening, that you need to set it down, to carve it into your memory, because this moment, this day is going to be one that changes the rest of your life. But no matter how hard she tried to step back, to catalogue the details, she couldn’t. He was overwhelming, he was, and she couldn’t focus on anything but the rush in her stomach that was slowly burning a hole through her when she looked at him.

They ducked into The Three Broomsticks for lunch, he cracked jokes and she tossed chips at his head. They drank bottles of butterbeer and she pretended not to notice the stunned look on his face when she brushed her foot against his calf under the table. His eyes welled up when he talked about his parents, she took his hand and talked about her sister, they talked about the future. It was easy to talk to him and they talked about everything.

They fought, of course, over who would pay the bill when it came and, though James won, she grumbled about it while they waited for Rosmerta to return with his change. James pocketed a handful of coins as he stood, laughing as Lily said, “I can pay for myself, James, bloody hell,” and took her hand. They walked out of the pub and the cold air was a shock after the warm, smoky air of the pub. “You can pay next time,” James said, grinning down at her and Lily cocked her eyebrow, “Who said there’s going to be a next time?”

He stopped in the middle of the high street, turning to face her and raising his eyebrows - he studied her before he smirked and moved his hands to her hips. “Now Evans,” he said, his fingers brushing along the hem of her jumper, “I know you don’t mean that.”

The retort was on the tip of her tongue, but, recognising the opportunity, she grinned instead. “No, I don’t,” and she reached up, wound her fingers in the hair at the base of his neck, and pulled his mouth to hers.

She would, over time, run her tongue along all the lines of his skin, tracing him, finding every sensitive part of his body and memorising it and the way it felt against her lips, the way the salt and spice of his skin lingered on her tongue. But now, right now, with his mouth on hers, his fingers sliding along the exposed skin at her waist, all she could think was more. She needed him, every part of him, and she knew then that she would never, ever get enough.

She didn’t care that people were probably gawking at them, that they could see just how desperately she was pressing her body against his. The taste of him was driving her mad and she shouldn’t be held responsible for any acts of public indecency she might be in the process of committing. She bit down lightly on his bottom lip, smiling at the groan that escaped him, before he broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were shining with want and mischief and she could tell just how much effort it was taking for him to control himself. It mirrored, but probably didn’t quite match, the restraint she was exercising over herself.

“You can’t be doing that to me in public, Evans. We’re supposed to be setting an example. What kind of Heads are we?” Lily grinned and pressed her hips against his, “Maybe we should go back up to the castle then, if you’re going to be such a stickler for the rules.”

He smiled so broadly she thought his face might crack with the effort and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her when he was looking at her like that, grinning stupidly at her in the middle of the high street like he’d just won the bloody lottery. She knew how he felt though, her lips were still tingling, her skin still humming, and she completely understood, now, what it felt like to have your entire body come alive, burst into flame, when you’re with someone. She craved it, never wanted it to end - James had ignited a fire in her gut that she hoped, no, knew, would never burn out.

She stepped away from him, grabbed his hand firmly in her own, and turned towards the castle.

[stares into the middle distance] 

I have made a huge mistake.

6

“The problem was that the creatures who had managed to survive the city he’d made were a new kind of misery entirely— Brekker, his Wraith queen, his rotten little court of thugs. A fearless breed, hard-eyed and feral, hungrier for vengeance than for gold.”

Do you think it was easy for me to watch you walk away? I had to do it, I had to hold my tears back and pretend it didn’t matter but really it did and my heart was breaking letting you go. I wanted to say something, I wanted to stop you, I wanted to hug you but I couldn’t. I stood there and watched you walk away.
—  Leohearts

Imagine a UNIT era modern day AU where the Doctor discovers Facebook:

  • He immediately sends friend requests to everyone at UNIT. The Brigadier doesn’t really understand social media (he only uses it to keep up with family stuff) but he’s very good at clicking the delete button. The Doctor is undeterred and continues to send him friend requests.
  • One day the Brigadier has to tell him exasperatedly, “Doctor, you can’t publicly list your education as ‘Time Lord Academy’.”
  • On another occasion he has to tell him to take down the picture he posted of the First Doctor that was captioned, “And here’s me in my younger days.” “I suppose this means you’ll want me remove that photograph taken during the Omega incident that said, ‘Hanging out with myself’,” the Doctor sighs.
  • The Doctor tries to sound cool on the internet but doesn’t because he keeps using memes that haven’t been invented yet. No one has any idea what he’s talking about and internet-savvy Jo is perpetually embarrassed.
  • The Master (under a paper-thin alias) stalks the Doctor’s page and likes all his posts in the hope that the Doctor will send him a friend request and he can have the satisfaction of declining it. The Doctor ignores him, but he does get a friend request from Sergeant Benton. Somehow the thought of declining that isn’t quite as satisfying.
  • “No, Doctor,” the Brigadier groans one morning when he sees his Facebook feed, “you cannot post… selfies… with a Dalek.” “Well if you don’t like mine, “ the Doctor replies, “just wait until you see Jo’s.”
9

We were servers at a Jewish delicatessen in Boca Raton, Florida, and it was the first time I had Manischewitz and got drunk on the job. Ever since then, I’ve been drinking at work.

Happy 36th Birthday Alex Suarez!