can you imagine. Library au
Keith and hunk work in receiving, processing new shipments/donations and putting books back from the dropoff chute. Pidge is IT support for the library and keeps the servers secure and lightning fast and definitely doesn’t spy on people with her network. Shiro and lance are the receptionists bc Lance thought it would be a good way to meet some smokin bodies and shiro just really loves books okay. Coran owns the building and Allura manages it and takes down all the mouse traps Coran puts up because “they’ve never chewed anything or pooped on the books, Coran!"
And there are the usual library shenanigans including but not limited to
- a closet full of books. no context it’s just there and Coran wants it to stay.
- squirrels sneaking in through the dropoff chute when the weather gets colder
- hunk and keith hunting the squirrels bc they’re not always busy
- hunk wanting to be humane only and Keith slowly putting his knife away
- Keith this is a library why do you have a knife
- *squints into the horizon like a war veteran* squirrels
- pidge suggesting that the mice are helping the squirrels
- keith’s war against rodents begins and Allura scrambles to set up cozy hiding spots for them all just out of Keith’s reach
- and then he finds his pistachios MISSING and his pear has been nibbled upon and he mc freaking loses it
- shiro puts this sign up on the dropoff chute very quietly and kindly and he just kind of puffs up knowing that he’s done a Good Deed
- people start obeying the sign and Lance leaves the front doors open so he can hear it every single time it happens. He has a tally chart.
- the chute opens one day without anyone shouting down it and Keith runs upstairs and looks around "did you see any squirrels ma'am"
- Lance is dying bc it was him.
- klance makeouts between the bookshelves
- the dudes from the computer repair shop next door coming in and asking if any of the webcams in the library had mysteriously turned on too
- pidge is a good liar bc obviously she was behind it.
- hunk and allura putting food for the squirrels on the roof in an attempt to keep them safe from Keith
- hunk and allura realizing that the squirrels are determined, suicidal little shits and so they just put food in the corner of the library or up on the highest bookshelves and hope that their tails will do the dusting for them
- shiro sighing at literally everything as he hand feeds the squirrels
- is he Snow White like how does he do that
- Keith’s Betrayed Face when he sees shiro schmoozing the squirrels
- *whispers* I thought you loved me
- shiro rolling his eyes so hard he goes and joins a bowling league
- the dudes from the computer repair shop coming back AGAIN and asking if show tunes had started playing in the library
- pidge must physically remove herself from their presence bc she’s trying very hard not to cackle like an overlord
- Keith brings in a CAT
- allura is horrified and literally clutches her chest
- Lance falls in love with the cat, feeds it treats and snacks and gives it lazy toys until it gets ULTRA FAT
- Keith comes to the conclusion that his bf sabotaged his cat plan on purpose and cuts off the nookie supply for a month
- worst month of everyone’s lives tbh
- hunk begs Keith to please just fuck Lance again
- a hanjo in the Scientology section at the very least please please please
- pidge and shiro end up stuck in the weird book closet somehow
- shiro COULD break down the door but that’s just a lot of work
- why break things when you could have a book fight
- they throw a couple hundred paperbacks at each other for 20 minutes
- pidge builds a throne of books and rules her domicile (400 books and shiro) with cunning and dignity
- until shiro slaps her in the face with a copy of pride and prejudice and the war begins anew
- the library has like three floors and everyone knows to stay out of the left wing of the third floor during lunch breaks bc Lance and Keith honestly don’t care if u see their butts they will not stop
- shiro or hunk lifting pidge onto their shoulders to put more food on the shelves for the squirrels
- the general populace of the town not being weirded out by any of the shenanigans in the library
- it’s just another beautiful day in mr Roger’s neighbourhood for them
- Keith runs by them with a knife in his teeth and a net in his hands? Totally normal
Hanji took a long, slow breath and conceded, “You’re right. I know you’re right. But I keep going over it in my head. Analyzing every moment, considering if there’s something I could have done differently.” She laughed quietly, bitterly, “not that it matters now anyway.”
“You’re still talking like a fucking idiot.”
Nearby, the pastor shook his head, muttering under his breath, “That’s no way to talk to your soon to be wife.”
That snapped her out of her thoughts. Hanji’s head jerked up, “-your soon to be what?”
“It’s not – just – fuck,” grabbing her ponytail, he forcefully turned her away from the pastor, “Ignore him.”
The pastor hummed, “You should tell her about my offer. Life is short.”
Levi’s ears flushed red. He hissed, glaring murderously over his shoulder, “Shut the fuck up.”
Hanji looked at the pastor, perplexed. An offer? Could it be - had he agreed to open up about the true nature of the walls?
Levi must have read the excitement on her face. Grimacing he shook his head. “He hasn’t agreed to help us with anything useful – yet,” he ground out the last word, an unsubtle threat.
“My ceremonies were quite sought after in Stohess, actually. I even allow time for individuals to include their own vows,” the pastor said, effortlessly changing the subject.
Levi rose in one fluid motion. “Yeah, you’re gonna wait outside.” Grabbing the pastor by the front of his shirt, he dragged him up. The pastor yelped as Levi sent him stumbling out of the tent.
Hanji watched the exchange, mouth agape. It almost sounded like the pastor was talking about,“…Levi, is he offering to-?”
“He’s an old, senile bastard and I think you rattled a few brain cells loose when you hung him off the wall,” Levi muttered. The tips of his ears were cherry red.
Hanji almost left it at that. Almost. But he looked so damn uncomfortable. She couldn’t help herself.
“Is there any particular reason why our friend Pastor Nick wants to marry us?”