i'm going to make like 10 more of these bad boys aren't i

Dresden Files Books Rated By The Opening Line
  • Storm Front: "I heard the mailman approach my office door, half an hour earlier than usual. He didn't sound right. His footsteps fell more heavily, jauntily, and he whistled. A new guy. He whistled his way to my office door, then fell silent for a moment. Then he laughed."
  • Easily one of the weakest in the series. 3/10.
  • Fool Moon: "I never used to keep close track of the phases of the moon. So I didn't know that it was one night shy of being full when a young woman sat down across from me in McAnally's pub and asked me to tell her all about something that could get her killed."
  • Nicely ominous. Thanks to this book, I also keep track of the phases of the moon. Helped me catch a local werewombat. You have no idea how hard it is to put one of them down. 8/10.
  • Grave Peril: "There are reasons I hate to drive fast. For one, the Blue Beetle, the mismatched Volkswagen bug that I putter around in, rattles and groans dangerously at anything above sixty miles an hour. For another, I don't get along so well with technology. Anything manufactured after about World War II seems to be susceptible to abrupt malfunction when I get close to it. As a rule, when I drive, I drive very carefully and sensibly. // Tonight was an exception to the rule."
  • Not bad, per se, but not all that good. It takes too long to get to its point, which makes it not as good of a hook. 6/10.
  • Summer Knight: "It rained toads the day the White Council came to town."
  • This one makes me giggle. 8/10. Good job.
  • Death Masks: "Some things just aren't meant to go together. Things like oil and water. Orange juice and toothpaste. // Wizards and television."
  • Very relatable. I, too, am no fan of toothpaste in my orange juice. I used to put toothpaste in my orange juice all the time and had no clue why my orange juice tasted so bad. I mean, who knew? 9/10.
  • Blood Rites: "The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
  • There is no need to explain perfection. 15/10.
  • Dead Beat: "On the whole, we're a murderous race. According to Genesis, it took as few as four people to make the planet too crowded to stand, and the first murder was a fratricide. Genesis says that in a fit of jealous rage, the very first child born to mortal parents, Cain, snapped and popped the first metaphorical cap in another human being. The attack was a bloody, brutal, violent, reprehensible killing. Cain's brother Abel probably never saw it coming. // As I opened the door to my apartment, I was filled with a sense of empathic sympathy and intuitive understanding. // For freaking Cain."
  • One of the all time greats of this series. Lovely illustration of how Dresden feels and catches people up on his relationship with his brother really quick. 10/10.
  • Proven Guilty: "Blood leaves no stain on a Warden's grey cloak. I didn't know that until the day I watched Morgan, second in command of the White Council's Wardens, lift his sword over the kneeling form of a young man guilty of the practice of black magic. The boy, sixteen years old at the most, screamed and ranted in Korean underneath his black hood, his mouth spilling hatred and rage, convinced by his youth and power of his own immortality. He never knew it when the blade came down."
  • Dark. Really sets the tone for the book. Also, I'm, like, totally jealous. Blood stains are the worst. 8/10.
  • White Night: "Many things are not as they seem: The worst things in life never are."
  • I know, right? It's, like, I thought this guy who came into work would be just a normal customer and get his stuff and leave, but, instead, he rants about conspiracy theories and shit when I can't tell him to fuck off. 9/10. Good job.
  • Small Favor: "Winter came early that year; it should have been a tip-off."
  • Not bad, but kinda weak. I mean, did he even consider that maybe winter came early because Global Warming is actually a hoax? I mean, it isn't, but couldn't he at least consider the possibility? 6/10.
  • Turn Coat: "The summer sun was busy broiling the asphalt from Chicago 's streets, the agony in my head had kept me horizontal for half a day, and some idiot was pounding on my apartment door. // I answered it and Morgan, half his face covered in blood, gasped, 'The Wardens are coming. Hide me. Please.'"
  • It's just, like, whaaaaaat? Why's Morgan here? How'd he get all bloody? And, like, he even snuck in some nice foreshadowing with the headache. Really well done. 8/10.
  • Changes: "I answered the phone, and Susan Rodriguez said, 'They've taken our daughter.'"
  • Nice and shocking, making you want to read more, but the last book did a similar shocking opening better. 5/10.
  • Ghost Story: "Life is hard. // Dying's easy."
  • Totally relatable. I, like many others, wish for death because life is too hard. Thanks for making me feel better, Harry. 8/10.
  • Cold Days: "Mab, the Queen of Air and Darkness, monarch of the Winter Court of the Sidhe, has unique ideas regarding physical therapy."
  • One would imagine. I mean, did you hear her TED talk on it? Fascinating stuff. She's an innovator in the field. 7/10.
  • Skin Game: "There was a ticking time bomb inside my head and the one person I trusted to go in and get it out hadn't shown up or spoken to me for more than a year."
  • Don't you just hate it when you have a time bomb in your head? I know I do. But not all of us know bomb defusal experts. We're not all as lucky as you are, Dresden. I had to defuse my time bomb myself. Dick. 4/10.
a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 10)
  • "How did we ever come to this?"
  • "I never thought you'd be someone I'd have to miss."
  • "There I was, caught in your game..."
  • "If you're looking for forgiveness, you won't find that here."
  • "You can say you're sorry, but I still don't care."
  • "You're both to blame."
  • "I hope you know you're my last mistake."
  • "Don't come around and say you need me."
  • "I won't stay."
  • "Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely."
  • "It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger."
  • "I started writing songs, I started writing stories."
  • "Only those I really love will ever really know me."
  • "Once I was 20 years old, my story got told."
  • "I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure."
  • "I got my boys with me at least."
  • "I hope I'll see you later."
  • "We've traveled around the world and we're still roaming."
  • "I'm still learning about life."
  • "I'm still sorry."
  • "Tell me what you want this to be."
  • "I just can't catch a break."
  • "I know what I want this to be."
  • "You're dragging things along."
  • "Do you feel like something's missing when your skin is pressed to mine?"
  • "All I ever wanted was a part of you that I couldn't break."
  • "We're in pieces now."
  • "All you ever wanted was a part of me that I couldn't fake."
  • "I have to let you down."
  • "I know I’m the one you want to forget."
  • "Baby, you were my picket fence."
  • "I miss missing you now and then."
  • "Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger."
  • "The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger."
  • "I am the best you’ll never have."
  • "Drink up, baby, stay up all night."
  • "I'll make you mine."
  • "I hate myself for staring at the phone."
  • "Kept all your texts, can’t erase them."
  • "I’d call you up but I know you’re not alone."
  • "I know that I should not hold on, so why can’t I let go?"
  • "I keep trying to figure out who you are to me."
  • "Maybe all that we were meant to be is beautifully unfinished."
  • "Your fingerprints are tattooed on my skin."
  • "You’re the one that I can’t lose; you’re the one that I can’t win."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish you’d go away."
  • "I hate you and I love you and I wish that you would stay."
  • "I think that you think that I'm half drunk."
  • "I know that you wouldn't fall for that."
  • "Shut up and take my hand."
  • "I don't wanna say goodnight."
  • "Hot damn, look at me now."
  • "I bet you never thought you would fall again."
  • "So much for keeping this 'just friends'."
  • "Shut up and kiss me now."
  • "I've done my part for twelve years now."
  • "I really wouldn't mind if we don't go anywhere, cause I've got you."
  • "You think my bruised knees are sort of pretty."
  • "I think your tired eyes are kind of nice."
  • "Have you got a lighter on you?"
  • "I really don't mind if we take our time."
  • "I've got a couple bottles of your favorite wine."
  • "I love everything that you've got."
  • "Would you be mine?"
  • "How can you joke at a time like this?"
  • "This is what you wanted all along now, isn't it?"
  • "I think that all you ever really ever wanted was a reason to complain."
  • "Those are her words, not mine."
  • "As far as I'm concerned, we could've had a good time."
  • "I guess there's nothing more to discuss."
  • "Girls don't call, and they never tell you why."
  • "Don't listen to my music."
  • "Don't lie in my bed."
  • "Don't listen to the references to things that you might have actually said."
  • "As far as I'm concerned, it could have been a lot worse."
  • "I wasn't trying to avoid the confrontation."
  • "She told me that I don't even try."
  • "Maybe you're right, maybe this is all that I can be."
  • "But what if it's you, and it wasn't me?"
  • "I'm fucked in the head, and my mind is turning into a whore."
  • "Maybe she's right, maybe I'm wrong."
  • "Maybe we'll fight 'til it move us along."
  • "You know that admitting the problem is the first step."
  • "Friends turned to wine-drunk lovers."
  • "I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate, for once."
  • "Life is moving, can't you see?"
  • "There's no future left for you and me."
  • "I was holding and I was searching endlessly, but now there's nothing left that I can do."
  • "There is another future waiting there for you."
  • "They say people never change, but that's bullshit, they do."
  • "I do not think I would be here if not for them."
  • "With friends like ours, anywhere is home."
  • "Keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind."
  • "I thought we were holding on, aren't we?"
  • "You and me got a whole lot of history."
  • "We could be the greatest team that the world has ever seen."
  • "Let's drive around town holding hands."
  • "And ya need to know, you're the only one."
  • "I love you, babe, so bad."
  • "I'm hella obsessed with your face."
  • "I'll be your daydream."
  • "We could be beautiful."
  • "Say you'll never let me go."
  • "Take me back to a time only we knew."
  • "We could waste the night with an old film."
  • "You said you'd never ever break down, but here I am sweeping pieces off of the ground."
  • "You said you'd never ever play to crowds."
  • "I've spent all night long scared of tomorrow."
  • "Everything is almost lost."
  • "I never thought I'd be so fragile."
  • "We're fragile."
  • "You're the only sound that I ever want to hear."
  • "Give me your heart, and I'll give you my love."
  • "Tonight you look lovely."
  • "Let me wrap my arms around you."
  • "Let me take you home."
  • "I want you to myself."
  • "You're the only thing that I ever need to know."
  • "Our world is looking so bright."
  • "I'm a little bit lost without you."
  • "I had a feeling once that you and I could tell each other everything."
  • "I just wanted you."
  • "Something about you, it's like an addiction."
  • "Hit me with your best shot, honey."
  • "I've got no reason to doubt you."
  • "You keep coming back again."
  • "I'm certain that I'm yours."
  • "I adore you."
  • "I said I'd never miss you, but I guess you never know."
  • "I miss your early morning company."
  • "You are my favorite 'what if'."
  • "You are my best 'I'll never know'."
  • "What did it ever mean to you?"
  • "I wish I'd known how much you loved me."
  • "I wish I cared enough to know."
  • "I'm sorry every song's about you."
  • "The torture of small talk with someone you used to love."
  • "When I was younger I was certain that I'd be fine without a queen."
  • "Where we've been is who we are."
  • "Now all I do is wonder why we ever set the scene."
  • "It's such a shame that we play strangers."
  • "Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me."
  • "I'll remember nights alone and waking up to dial tones."
  • "Always found my greatest moments in the sound of your 'hello's'."
  • "Will you even know it's me?"
  • "Can we find a new beginning?"
  • "Do you turn the other cheek?"