i'm going to hel for this

Good morning ☀️ Nice weather out〜
Swaying around and dozing off riding the train.
I’m off.


thank you all for sending asks/tagging me in stuff recently, apologies for not getting to any of it. Now that school’s over, I’m going to see if i can scroll back and answer some of the things. Best of luck to anyone who is still dealing with the schools - have a wonderful day!

eat your sadness
take out the rock in your chest
melt it, boil it, stick it in a stew
chop up your heart with onions
and mushrooms and other foods
you don’t like, and eat it
until you’re not hungry
until your stomach isn’t flat

grab your sadness
take it by the hand if you want and
lead it through your life, behind you
at all times, never letting go of it
take it by the shoulders and yell
scream and cry and tell it not to
leave, it’s the only constant you have
make your sadness a friendship
bracelet of blue string

wear your sadness
weave it into your skirt and through
your favourite green shirt until you
wear it every day, every day, every
day. crush it into a powder and put
it in your sparkling eyeshadow
watch it run when your eyes water
feel it all collect in your
laughter lines

—  sadness needs a friend, too - 28.03.17

hclliish  asked:

I've been trying to find information on Loki's kids (mainly Hel) but I'm coming up with different reports depending on where I go. Is there any actual record of things like which order they were born in, whether some of them lived with Angraboda (or however you spell it), their involvement with Ragnarok, etc?

I can’t make a list of everything like I did with this Sigyn post because there are just too many little shreds of information about this subject. Depending on what you’ve found and where you’e been looking, some of the conflicting information you’ve found might actually conflict in Old Norse literature, for example regarding the roles of Nar(f)i and Váli (they switch places depending on the whether you’re reading Lokasenna or Gylfaginning, or Váli isn’t mentioned at all – the oldest sources are silent regarding him, while Nar(f)i appears in very old skáldic poetry).

While the study of Vǫluspá and ragnarök in general is very complicated with huge tomes written in attempt to explain it, one idea that seems to have enjoyed a high level of acceptance among scholars is that it was composed in a mixed heathen/Christian environment and was influenced by Christian Armageddon, so that pre-existing heathen elements have been heavily reinterpreted, resulting in some lack of correspondence between the poem and older sources like skáldic poetry. For this, see “Völuspá and the Feast of Easter” by John McKinnell, available for download here.

Snorri, of course, used Vǫluspá to write his Edda, and tried further to explain things that were confusing or mentioned only briefly, so that introduces more opportunity for late reinterpretation.

According to Snorri (Gylfaginning, “About Loki’s Children and the binding of Fenrisúlfr,” chapter 34 in the edition I’m using), all three of Fenrisúlfr, Miðgarðsormr, and Hel were being raised in Jǫtunheimar before the other gods found out about them:

Enn átti Loki fleiri börn. Angrboða hét gýgr í Jötunheimum. Við henni gat Loki þrjú börn. Eitt var Fenrisúlfr, annat Jörmungandr, þat er Miðgarðsormr, þriðja er Hel. En er goðin vissu til, at þessi þrjú systkin fæddust upp í Jötunheimum…

‘Though Loki had more children. There was a gýgr (giantess and/or trollwoman) named Angrboða in Jǫtunheimar. Loki had three children with her. One was Fenrisúlfr, the second Jǫrmungandr, that is Miðgarðsormr, the third is Hel. But when the gods learned that these three siblings were being raised in Jǫtunheimar…’

(Note that Jǫtunheimar is plural, so it is not at all clear that this is a single, cohesive world).

As this is the only passage that describes their youth, there is no description of the order in which they were born unless they are given in order here (note that the phrasing does not necessarily imply this, though it is a possibility). The kinship of Loki, Hel, Fenrisúlfr, Nar(f)i, Býleistr, and Fárbauti are supported by the poetry of Þjóðólfr ór Hvini from the 9th century demonstrating that these connections are extremely old. The first reference to Miðgarðsormr as a member of this family that I can find is from Þórsdrápa by Eilífr Goðrúnarson around 1000. Angrboða is not mentioned until Hyndluljóð and Snorri’s Edda.

Ragnarök is described in Vǫluspá and Snorri’s Edda. I won’t rehash it here but you can find it here for example (starts page 79, page 214 of the PDF). Hel is not described participating in ragnarök(kr) but the inhabitants of Helheimr (heljar sinnar) will be led into battle by Loki according to Snorri (but Loki steers the ship from Muspellsheimr in Vǫluspá). The Codex Regius version of Vǫluspá describes Þórr fighting against a wolf, but ulf is probably just an error for orm ‘serpent’ since Miðgarðsormr is also described shortly before.

Fenrisúlfr’s role in Ragnarök, both as the one who will swallow Óðinn and either as the one or the father of the one who will swallow the sun, is by far the most supported by separate, independent attestations. For example, Vafþrúðnismál: “Ulfr gleypa mun Aldaföðr” (‘The wolf will swallow Aldafǫðr [Óðinn]’); Hákonarmál: “Mun óbundinn á ýta sjǫt Fenrisulfr of fara” (‘Fenrisúlfr will go unbound over the world of men’); and images carved in stone depicting a wolf swallowing a man (likely Óðinn); the Gosforth Cross depicts what is believed to be either Fenrisúlfr swallowing Óðinn or Víðarr pulling his jaws apart.

The sources give slightly mixed messages regarding Miðgarðsormr. There may have been a tradition wherein Þórr’s fishing trip is the only actual encounter between the two, represented in the poem Húsdrápa by Úlfr Uggason. Snorri even seems to account for this when, in Gylfaginning, Hárr says: “ok segja menn, at hann lysti af honum höfuðit við hrönnunum, en ek hygg hitt vera þér satt at segja, at Miðgarðsormr lifir enn ok liggr í umsjá” (‘and men say that he struck his head off into the waves, but I think otherwise is true, that Miðgarðsormr lives yet and lives on unharmed’). There is reason to believe that Þórr’s actual defeating of Miðgarðsormr during the fishing trip was itself a deviation from an original where he escapes. For more on Miðgarðsormr generally and especially his role during the fishing trip, see this post: http://fuckyeahnorsemythology.tumblr.com/post/118441814072/what-is-known-about-jormungandr-for-a-being-that

Regarding Hel in old sources, the word Hel is mentioned very frequently in extremely brief euphemistic phrases for death, and it can be very difficult to differentiate references to the goddess from references to the place (otherwise Helheimr in order to differentiate). This has led to some scholars declaring that Hel was never a goddess in heathen times but was later personified from what was originally just a euphemism for the grave. I have a great deal of difficulty with this theory unless “late development” is defined as “during the first half of the Viking age”, since she is clearly a distinct being as early as the above-mentioned Þjóðólfr’s Ynglingatal, wherein she is called mær Loka ‘Loki’s maiden (daughter)’, jódís Ulfs ok Narfa, ‘Stallion-dís of the wolf and Narfi’, and others. It is true that all of these are used to refer to someone’s death; nonetheless this would be impossible without an audience that recognized Hel as an individual member of a family.

- þorraborinn

Okay but what if
  • Zeref: *talking with soldiers*
  • Soldiers: *ready their stations*
  • Zeref: *holds hand up* Stand down. I'll take care of it.
  • Mavis: *shows up*
  • Zeref: *chokes*
  • Soldiers: uhh...sir?
  • Zeref: hh-hah-hel-hi-i can..i can see you? W-what-what
  • Mavis: Yes I know that.
  • Zeref: *blushes* You...you uh...you look nice...
  • Mavis: *blushes* I know that as well.
  • Zeref: *adjusts collar* so..how's it going? You look nice.
  • Mavis: you said that?
  • Zeref: *begins fanning face* I DId? Oh god I did. Uh...uh..what are you up too?
  • Mavis: I'm at war with some crybaby emperor who has some family issues.
  • Zeref: *snorts* o-oh man what a loser...
  • Mavis: ....
  • Zeref: ....you meant me didn't you?
  • Mavis: Yes I did.
  • Zeref: .....welp. Pack it up folks. We're out of here.

au where rapunzel accidentally sends a nude to the wrong number

It was nice meeting you last night. As promised, here I am.

She frowned and debated on whether or not it was appropriate to add a wink afterward because her text had sounded all but too formal for something so… cheeky. She bit her lip, her fingers grazing over the semi-colon and parentheses and cringed as she entered the emoticon in.

She was used to smiley faces and hearts. Winks, however, were not really her thing.

Rapunzel had never sent nudes before. Hell, she had never even taken nudes before and had no idea what the first steps in taking one were or how to even send something so ridiculous and supposedly sexy. She was sure she was doing everything wrong and had a feeling the other line would think of her as foolish and naïve. Which, she was–there was no denying it. At all.

For God’s sake–she hadn’t even taken a full on nude and had innocently settled for her lingerie instead. That was enough for a first timer… right? It felt wrong but even worse to consider sending her entire naked body.

But she had become so smitten with the boy from last night that she was desperate to earn his approval–even if that meant doing something she had always thought was a little stupid and way out of her comfort zone. He had whispered to her that he preferred girls who were willing to sext. So she could learn that, right?


She looked at the text again. Then decided to add a heart. Her thumb hovered over the green send button. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before forcing herself to try something new for once without freaking out. And then she hit send.

She threw her phone on the bed immediately, embarrassed at herself for even following through with it. She could feel her entire body grow hot, her face bright red. Then carefully, she picked the phone up.

The reply was immediate, but not one that she was expecting.

uh… who is this?

Haha, very funny, Flynn. It’s Rapunzel. We met last night. I have your number. You said you wanted nudes.’ She felt her heart rate increase as she watched the ellipsis bubble at the bottom, indicating that he was typing up another response. ‘Remember? I asked if we could see each other when we were sober, and you said sexting was the way to go…

definitely the wrong number. idk a Flynn.’ Then, after a moment. ‘not to intrude, but lingerie doesn’t necessarily translate to nudes in case you didn’t know. in case he was picky.

She suddenly felt like she was about to cry. No way. No way could she have messed up something so simple, much less, send a picture of herself to a complete stranger who could potentially now post it online for everyone to see. She pressed her phone against her forehead–this was why she never did stupid things like this.

Her phone buzzed again, and she jumped. She glanced down to see another message from the other person. ‘also, you look really uncomfortable. not trying to be a nude critic, but…’ She waited as he sent another text afterward and couldn’t help but feel so ashamed that the person was literally telling her how to take a nude because she had obviously done it wrong. ’if you didn’t want to take and send one, you shouldn’t have.

oh, god. was i that unfortunate to send it to a professional sexter…’ she typed furiously.

it’s not that,’ the person quickly typed back. ‘i’m just saying you shouldn’t have done something you didn’t want to do. and it’s obvious you didn’t want to send the nude.

idk. idkidkidk i swear i typed in the number correctly’ She embarrassedly pulled the scrap of paper out of her pocket and squinted at the numbers. Then blinked at one number a couple of times, unsure of it’s illegibility on whether it was a 2, a 5, or an 8. Or maybe even a 3. She looked at her phone. Well, she had typed in a 2, so maybe it could have been the other three digits. She screamed in frustration. Either way, it was far too late, and the picture had already been sent. ‘omg, can you delete that picture

i already did’ A pause. Then, ‘a guy who asks you to send nudes to him after just meeting sounds like an ass. also, he didn’t want to meet you when you were sober? hmmmm warning bells

he wasn’t an ass. he was nice. from what i remember, anyway. and he just said he wasn’t interested in anything serious, but he said he would be more inclined to consider it if we sexted first…’ She flushed. ‘either way, that’s none of your business

look, not saying that all guys are the same, but as a guy who has heard that line from other guys… i highly doubt he was ever really going to consider a relationship

you don’t know him

yeah, well, obviously, neither do you’ A pause, and then, ‘look, i’m just saying a lot of guys tend to think with their dicks first. not saying flynn is a bad guy, but he was a little tipsy and probably thinking with his dick at the time.

She didn’t know how to respond, really. Maybe he was right.

you seem like a nice girl. i just want you to know the truth before something stupid happens

idk if i should thank you bc that stupid thing already happened

well idk in case you’re still thinking about sending him a nude. just be careful.’ A pause. ‘and considering that you sent a picture of lingerie when he had asked for nudes, it seems you’re fairly new to the sexting game. so you know, be extra careful before you send something that could later on hurt you.

not that new

right…’ It was obvious he didn’t believe her. Hell, she wouldn’t believe her. She pulled up the picture she had sent of herself, and he was right. She did look terribly uncomfortable and way out of her comfort zone. Her phone buzzed again. ‘well, i deleted the pic. i didn’t look at it very long, i swear, so you have nothing to worry about. also, you should be careful about sending pics to strangers, whether or not you think they’re an ass. you never know if he or she is just going to upload it online…

A pause.

Then another buzz.

take care, rapunzel.

She buried her bright red face in her hands as she threw her phone on her bed. Then she tossed her entire body with it, flopping on the thick white blanket, and screaming into the cushion. The person was right, though. She barely–hardly–knew Flynn at all. She had met him at Merida’s party last night, and she remembered being slightly over-the-top tipsy. She could remember making out with him and asking if he’d be interested to meet up when they were both sober.

He had told her in response that he wasn’t really interested in a relationship. But sexting, he could do.

She remembered really wanting to impress him, so she agreed.

But what if he was an ass? What if he had posted her picture online?

She sighed. She guessed she was lucky that it went into kind hands.

Then the phone vibrated again, and she carefully picked it up, flipping over so that her back was resting against the mattress.

This time an image filled the screen, and it was a picture of a boy with a large black labrador. He was grinning, avoiding the dog’s heavy kisses. From what she could tell, he had a couple of piercings along his ear, a tattoo dancing down his arm, his hair pure white with bleach. But his eyes were kind, and his smile kinder.

A text soon followed after. ‘selfie for selfie, right? well, not the same kind. idk what good it would do if i sent you a nude, lol. but i thought it wouldn’t be fair that i got to see your face and know your name, and you didn’t even know mine.

Her lips trembled before she let out a small grin.

i’m jack, btw. this is toothiana–tooth for short. she has a twin named toothless. they’re both dumb sweethearts. but i love them both.

She watched as the ellipsis bubbled again before a series of texts were sent her way.

i’m not really into sexting, tbh. not that you seem like you are, either. but i am interested in texting.

so if you end up not pursuing the guy who wanted nudes

i promise i won’t ask you to do something that you’re uncomfortable with

but it’s not going to work if you don’t like dogs

She couldn’t help but burst into a small laugh. ‘I love dogs,’ she texted back.

good bc it wouldn’t work if you didn’t’ Then after a moment, ‘i’ll probably be at burgess park later with tooth if you want to stop by and make sure i’m not a psychopath or anything. and if you happen to decide i’m normal, we can go on a date. because people usually go on dates before they start sending each other nudes

Her fingers froze above the keyboard. He had said he wasn’t interested in sexting, but what if he was just expecting a date first and then–

i’m kidding, rapunzel, don’t freak out. swear to god, you never have to send me nudes, ok

i just thought you were cute. and nice. it’s why i’m asking you if you want to meet up

and so you can decide for yourself if you think i’m crazy

She blinked and then smiled. ‘what if you decide i’m the crazy one

n o way.

why so definite? i could be

nah, the nude said everything. girls who send nudes like that aren’t crazy.

way to rub it in my face

lol it wasn’t bad. it was a cute photo. to an extent

’ She paused, frowning. ‘cute?

what? is cute bad?

i was going for sexy

wow i literally lol’d. sorry to burst your bubble.’ Then before she could send a text to show her offense, ‘i swear, cute is good. cute is sane. i like cute. honestly, it was a good thing that it was cute. that’s how i know you’re not crazy.

She couldn’t help but smile. ‘pictures can lie, you know…

i do know. which is why we’ll meet in like two hours so that we can both check for each other’s sanity

She laughed before setting her phone down to the side. Then she picked it up and found herself texting, ‘thanks, jack. for, you know… making this situation a lot better than it could have been for me

There was a long pause for a moment, and she wondered if he’d ever respond. Then a series of texts came.

rapunzel, i hope you feel the same way when we meet later.

which, btw, i would prefer sooner than later bc i’m a little afraid you’re going to change your mind

also, you’re welcome

i’ll see you in a couple of hours, rapunzel. take care.

also, please don’t think i’m crazy bc i really enjoy talking to you

Rapunzel found a smile permanently painted on her lips.

me too, jack.

  • Sasuke: Hello? Hel-- Sarada!
  • Sarada: Hi papa! It took you less longer than last time.
  • Sasuke: Not a word about that, young lady. I wasn't my fault this phone your mama bought me automatically locks.
  • Sakura: I heard that!
  • Sasuke: Mama's there?
  • Sakura: You're on speaker, Sasuke-kun. Do you--
  • Sasuke: --Yes. I know what it means.
  • Sarada: You didn't know last time, papa. Are you sure?
  • Sasuke: I'm tempted to throw away all these books I have right now.
  • Sarada: Mama! He's going to throw them away!
  • Sakura: I have medical books there, Sasuke-kun!
  • Sasuke: I couldn't care any less.
  • Sakura: Well, you would be if you come home to two very depressed women.
  • Sarada: Mama's not going to kiss you anymore, papa!
  • Sasuke: -sigh- You're too loud today.
  • Sakura: Of course!
  • Sarada: You're coming home today!
  • Sasuke: ...I'm not coming home.
  • Sakura: What?!
  • Sarada: Why?!
  • Sasuke: I already am.

Trust me when I say this looks better without the color.

For anyone confused, I direct you to the Au called NORSE FURY. Long story short, Toothless (who is literally the offspring of lightning and death - Thor and Hel) and Hiccup are avatars of death (thus immortal spiritlike beings) and Jamie Bennett is Hiccup’s descendant. Which is why he calls Hiccup grandpa.

But really, you should just go through the entire blog. It’s great. It’s an Avengers/rotg/httyd crossover, how can you not want to look?

This Is Proof That Liberal Media Has Failed Us
  • Host: Yo, welcome to Board Smashers! Everyone knows who I am!
  • Co-Host: And my name is Helen.
  • Host: Mark's on the camera! All together we're the Blast Corps!
  • Cameraman: Blast Corps is the worst name you've come up with yet.
  • Host: What the fuck ever. Check this out! *shows writhing flesh mass to the camera*
  • Flesh Mass: Augggh! Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuugh!
  • Cameraman: What the fuck!? You're actually touching that thing!?
  • Host: What's the matter? It's just a bunch of skin! *tosses flesh mass at the camera*
  • Cameraman: *stumbles backward* Keep that thing the fuck away from me!
  • Host: Haha, dude! Don't be such a pussy.
  • Flesh Mass: Aaaaaaaaauuuuuugh! *gurgles*
  • Cameraman: I don't care if I'm being a pussy. That thing is disgusting. It looks diseased.
  • Host: Your dick's diseased, dude.
  • *at a department store*
  • Flesh Mass: Aaaaugh! Aaaaaauggh! Aaaaaaauuuuuugh! *coughs*
  • Co-host: *cradling the flesh mass in a blanket* Hush little baby. Don't you cry.
  • Host: Mark, are you recording?
  • Cameraman: Yeah.
  • Host: Okay, let's do this!
  • Co-host: *walks up to an employee* Excuse me, but where could I find some diapers for my baby child?
  • Employee: Uhh, yeah, they're- Hey, you guys can't film in here.
  • Host: It's okay, we're filming a documentary about teen parents.
  • Employee: You'll have to film it outside.
  • Co-host: Excuse me, have you forgot about me and my sweet baby child. I need diapers for my baby boy. Look, my precious boy is all swollen from all of the poop in his glands. *shows the flesh mass to the employee*
  • Flesh Mass: Aaaauuuuuugh! Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuugh!
  • Employee: WHAT THE FUCK!? *stumbles backwards* I'M GETTING FUCKING SECURITY!
  • Co-host: Is there a problem with my baby? He's ever so sweet. Here, I'll let you hold him yourself. *drops the flesh mass on employee*
  • Cameraman: Uh, I think it's time that we get out of here.
  • Host: Haha, holy shit! You're right. Come on, Hel. We gotta skeddadle!
  • *they skeddadle*
  • Co-host: *gently rocks flesh mass while cradling it* My sweet baby boy. My beautiful little angel. How I cherish you.
  • Host: I can't believe we actually fucking did that! Mark, you got it all on camera, right?
  • Cameraman: No shit, I told you I was recording. I don't know how I feel about this. I think we traumatized that guy.
  • Host: He'll get over it! Do you think Chev will like it?
  • Cameraman: Chev is a complete maniac, so it'll probably one of his favorite things ever.
  • Flesh Mass: Aaaaaugh! Aaaaaaauuuuugh... H-H-Helen. Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen.
  • Co-host: *drops the flesh mass* It just said my name. It said my fucking name!
  • Host: Huh?
  • Co-host: Why did it just say my fucking name?
  • Host: I don't know. Maybe it's because you kept treating it like it was actually your baby way after the prank was over.
  • Co-host: I thought it was cute. It's not cute now that it's saying my name.
  • Cameraman: I told you guys that thing is bad news.
  • Host: Shut the fuck up, dude. All it's doing is saying Hel's name. That's like, whatever. It's still just a big clump of skin.
  • Flesh Mass: Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen.
  • Co-host: I can't take this. I'm going home.
  • Cameraman: Yeah, I'm out too. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. That's if you get rid of that thing first.
  • Host: Both of you guys are fucking lame, I swear!
  • *host returns to her abode*
  • Flesh Mass: Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen.
  • Host: *poking flesh mass* You never shut up. Do you?
  • Mom: *walks into host's bedroom*
  • Host: *quickly hides flesh mass under her pillows* Do you ever knock!?
  • Mom: I don't need to knock. It's my house.
  • Host: It doesn't matter. I still have a right to my privacy.
  • Mom: If you want privacy, you can move out on your own.
  • Host: Oh my god, here we go again. I don't want to go through this with you right now, mom!
  • Mom: I don't either. I just came to give you the phone. It's your fucking girlfriend. *tosses the phone at host and slams bedroom door*
  • Host: Hel, what's up?
  • Co-host: I'm a little stressed. Do you still have that thing?
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Co-host: Is it still saying my name?
  • Host: Yeah. It hasn't stopped since you and Mark left.
  • Co-host: Could you do me a favor and kill it for me.
  • Host: Kill it? Why?
  • Co-host: I can't relax knowing that thing is still saying my name. Please, kill it for me.
  • Host: Couldn't we just donate it to science instead. What if it's like an alien. We could be killing something unique!
  • Co-host: If you love me, you'll kill it.
  • Host: God, don't say that.
  • Co-host: Just kill it! Don't bother talking to me again if you don't kill it! *hangs up*
  • Host: *sighs* I'll never understand women. Not even myself.
  • Host: *takes flesh mass from under pillows* Guess you gotta go to hell, buddy... uhh..
  • Flesh Mass: *stares back up at host with a perfect replica of her own face* Yo, welcome to Board Smashers. Everyone knows who I am! Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen. I love you. Welcome to Board Smashers.
  • Host: This... this... THIS IS AWESOME!

umbraprxde  asked:

"Bloody Hell. Every single cop or whatever those soldiers are called just yelling 'She's a conduit! A bio-terrorist.' " The witch said, walking through the cities of Seattle. "Might as well start singing Rides of the fucking Valkyries. That should be hel--" Her sentence was quickly stopped, as she knocked into a man that was running after something. Extremely annoyed, she got up. "Watch where you're going next time. And before you ask, no, I'm not a bio-terrorist.-" -Good way to break the ice.-

“I’ve seen conduits at work and trust me. That uh-that’s not something they can do.” Said man shakes his head, righting himself from the impact. “Sorry-Kind of in a rush.” He’s never seen this woman before. Granted he hardly new the people of Seattle. 

anonymous asked:

(heldaughterofmischief) Hel cover her mouth as things took an awkward turn. She and her black wolf Loki had been playing fetch in central park. Normally this wasn't an issue, but Loki had run over a man while going after the stick. " I'm so sorry, he get exited." She apologized.

“Stop that now.” He’d caught the young wolf’s scruff on instinct as he was bowled over. Yes, he was definitely a wolf, not some halfbreed vanity dog. Not something one expected to find in the middle of town.

“It’s quite all right, young lady, I used to have a canine in my family who was just the same.” No need to mention Fenrir was his son, not his pet. He regained his feet and set the wolf back on his paws. “What’s his name?”