i'm going to go cry in the shower

  • Remus: what's wrong?
  • Sirius: nothing... it's just that adults are boring and i hate them. and i don't want to buy all this stupid, boring, adult stuff and become boring adults.
  • Remus: hey, listen to me. yes, we're going to get a dish rack and shower curtains and a cutting board... but if you think for one second that i'm not also going to get that marshmallow shooter so that i can shoot you in the face with marshmallows when you're asleep, then you're the dumbest man i know.
  • Sirius: you're gonna make me cry.

how does one not get stressed

4

Yah, don’t be nervous! Do you think I’ll do something to your girlfriend? Yah, it’s true that I become blinded in front of money, but I stay true to two principles: I, without fail, pay back my enemies, and I pay back my debts, if possible. Although Chung didn’t protect me, she protected my Joon Jae. My Joon Jae. Do you think I would do something like that to the Chung who protected you?

anonymous asked:

Your stories are hilarious omw. Do you have any other ones to share????????

The Time I Accidentally Set Myself on Fire

(it kind of speaks for itself, but just in case…. tw for fire)

  • So in my family I’m the one who cooks
  • (Partly because I like it, partly because when I was 13 or so I said to my mum ‘I want to learn how to cook’ and she went ITS YOUR JOB NOW SUCKAAAA and ollied out of the kitchen)
  • And in our old house 
  • (‘The hell house’, we call it, not fondly)
  • that meant using the old school spark lit gas stoves.
  • Now I had been using those stoves for about seven years and had never had a problem
  • Until the day I did have a problem
  • (and in case you don’t know by now, when this stuff happens to me it freaking HAPPENS. ‘how bad do you want it to be?’ the personification of misfortune asks. ‘just fuck me up’, i reply)
  • So it’s 2012, June - which is the coldest time of year for us
  • My brother is outside playing with sticks
  • (He’s 14. He has no excuse. Sometimes he uses sticks from the enormous, carefully cultivated twig collection he kept in the backyard, and sometimes he uses foosball sticks from a set my mother bought and promised to put together but never did, and have long since rusted from my brother using them as makeshift lightsabres and then leaving them outside come rain or shine.)
  • so I go into the kitchen and start to make dinner
  • (Pork and sage ragu)
  • (I’ll never forget)
  • (It was a memorable night)
  • I get out the ingredients and the pots and frying pan
  • I’m wearing at home clothes, which includes a multicolored, fraying cotton top with sequins all over 
  • (It was actually a really nice top. The only reason it got segregated into staying at home clothes was because of a huge tear on the right side)
  • So I go to turn the gas stove on 
  • (As I have done a thousand times before)
  • And to this day I couldn’t tell you if the flames were just really high, or I was standing too close, or if it was the wind factor
  • But for whatever reason, the flame lifts and catches onto the tear in my shirt
  • Out of the corner of my eye, I see the flame is incredibly bright
  • And then I look down and think,
  • Oh.
  • I’m on fire.
  • I try to pat it out
  • Doesn’t work
  • Its been about two seconds of flame on
  • The flames have caught to the rest of my top
  • I fucking 
  • SCREAM
  • I have never in my life, before or since, screamed like that
  • So I’m not thinking much besides FUCK FUCK FUCK STOP DROP ROLL FUCK
  • but for some reason, my ON FIRE fight or flight mentality has time to register
  • DONT RUIN THE FUCKING CARPET
  • i BOLT outside
  • the door is, by some goddamn miracle, open
  • I look like Denethor in return of the king
  • I’m diving for the grass when my brother, terrified, throws a bucket of water at me
  • (THE BUCKET. So we had this pipe on the outside of our house that was corroding and leaking water, and the noise was bothering my mum in a telltale heart kind of way, so she put a bucket out there to catch the water)
  • (Note: it is actually probably a really good idea for you to have a random bucket full of water sitting in your backyard)
  • So I’m half lying, soaking wet, in the grass in my backyard
  • I’m crying
  • My brother’s crying
  • My throat hurts from all the screaming
  • My heart Is thundering like crazy
  • Pretty sure I’m in shock
  • I start laughing a little manically
  • (Kind of sound like the joker)
  • Definitely in shock
  • The neighbors are shouting over the fence asking if everything is alright
  • Their pet geese are sqwaking
  • My mother opens her bathroom window and pokes her head out
  • ‘What is it?!? Is it a snake?!?!’
  • NO, MOTHER
  • I’VE BEEN ON FIRE
  • 'A sNAKE?’ I say, still laughing a little, because really now. We live in Australia, yes, but it’s the goddamn suburbs, everyone knows snakes stick to empty lots and fields
  • So the shock is wearing off and I’m still soaking wet, and my mother is outside now telling the neighbors we’re okay, even though my brother is still crying and I’m deep fried extra crispy
  • She’s telling me to get off the grass
  • I don’t want to get off the grass
  • She wants to have a look
  • I don’t want her to have a look
  • 'you have to get up now okay’
  • I get up 
  • It’s dark out so we go inside and as soon as my mum sees my side she says ‘wee have to go to the hospital’
  • there are a lot of things I’ll do
  • But I fucking hate
  • The 
  • God
  • Damn
  • Hospital

Keep reading

In case you missed it,,

The question was “What does Rocky do after a shower?” and someone said “Cha Eunwoo” and they read it live outloUD I AM CRYING 

Hopefully going to be making a new series out of these little guys. Polaroids with the current thought in my head written on them. Yeah. I guess. 

4/9/2016 (1/?)

Hey. Admin here.
  • Watched the new episode.
  • Well, i don't know guys.
  • This one hit me really hard.
  • Adam is a creep, a grade A representation of excessively abusive relationship. I mean, he literally cut the head off of Blake's shadow (not sure if Adam can tell the difference), stabbed Blake in the gut, told her he would kill everything she loves so she has nothing but him. What a freak.
  • Ironwood is a robot. Knew it. Still waiting for him to say, "I didn't ask for this"
  • Jaune should've really been guarding the entrance. Like. REALLY SHOULD HAVE.
  • Ruby did probably the coolest trick in the book vs Neo.
  • MY BABY YANG. DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME. I AM STILL CRYING.
  • My baby Weiss has got the summoning down. At least a little.
  • "I'll look for Blake, you get Ruby" Seems like Bumblebee and White Rose are coming on top, hopefully we get to see a little kissy kiss when Weiss finds Ruby.
  • Get fricken rekt Torchwick. What were you saying about surviving? Huh? The best thing you do? Well let's see how long you survive in the belly of a grimm.
  • I feel a little interested in seeing Raven again. She might come.
  • I wonder if Neo will see what Adam did to Yang. And be all, "No if anyone is gonna kill that delicious blonde it's gonna be me". I say that because a fight between Adam (who effortlessly attacks with extreme precision) and Neo (who effortlessly blocks and counters attacks with extreme precision), would be an amazing fight. And if they both somehow manage to kill eachother that would be a big breath of fresh air for team RWBY.
  • Also Velvets weapon DOES have something to do with her camera so that was cute. And Coco's cry when Velvet got punched made my crosshares go crazy
  • Also i am still crying. I'm gonna go shower. Pls send happy things.

idek what this is but i finished the king’s men and i’m so done

  • i never thought about the fact that they will graduate eventually and won’t be a team forever wtf
  • ANDREW AND NEIL KiSSING THEY ARE KILLING ME BUT I’VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE
  • “The next time one of them says you’re soulless I might fight them.” SAME NEIL
  • andrew and neil MAKING OUT i was not prepared for this
  • “You’re a Fox. You aren’t going anywhere. You’re staying with us. If they try to take you away they will lose.” and “I have to go. I don’t trust them to give you back.”
  • andrew helps neil to shower i can die happily now
  • “Did you know I’ve never been skiing? I’d like to try it one day, though.” omg kevin ily
  • kevin replacing his “2″ tattoo with a chess piece, “the deadliest piece on the board”
  • Kevin dragged his stare back to Wymack’s face and said, “and my father comes to all of my games. That is enough.” i’m not crying you are crying

i swear i could go on forever but everything hurts and life is beautiful B Y E

do you ever get into one of those moods where you can be fine before but suddenly you hate everything and everyone and every single thing that happens just really pisses you off like there’s nothing that doesn’t annoy you and you just want to scream and yell at everything but also just curl up into a ball and cry frustrated tears and not talk to anyone again for a year

Ruki: Hey, have you seen the Tower Records x Beavis and Butthead collaboration? I’m so excited about it I can’t even go take a shower… 
Ruki: What is this cuteness. Alright, I’m going to buy everything╭( ・ㅂ・)و ̑̑

The Signs As Things My Conductor Has Said
  • (to be read in a thick italian accent)
  • aries: I want you to play like you're tripping on LSD
  • taurus: you gotta take your bow and SHOVE IT UP THERE
  • gemini: (shouting across the orchestra to the timpani) YOU BETRAYED ME!!
  • cancer: the spanish are even more melodramatic than the italians. little known fact, but I'm telling you, they're crazier than us.
  • leo: we're going to change the music because bizet is dead and we can do whatever we want
  • virgo: I got my hair cut and it doesn't stick up anymore. I almost couldn't go out in public.
  • libra: well singers aren't real musicians but we can pretend
  • scorpio: violins, when you come in on that D, it's too tentative. I want a nice thick D.
  • sagittarius: SHOW ME THE D
  • capricorn: please subdivide before I start crying
  • aquarius: play like you're singing in the shower
  • pisces: please like us on facebook. please.
So, who ate the Ramen? ^_^
  • Naruto: "Okay who did it? Who ate the last instant Ramen?!"
  • Himawari: "..."
  • Bolt: "..."
  • Naruto: "...!"
  • Himawari: "...Bolt did it."
  • Bolt: "W-wha?! No I didn't!"
  • Himawari: "Well, I didn't do it!"
  • Bolt: "Neither did I!"
  • Naruto: "I want HONESTY!"
  • Bolt and Himawari: "I didn't do it!"
  • Naruto: "Both of you are grounded!"
  • Bolt and Himawari: "But-"
  • Naruto: "Not buts! You're grounded for a month."
  • Hinata walks in.
  • Hinata: "Hey, What's going on?"
  • Naruto: "Hina, someone here ate my last delicious cup of sweet Miso ramen."
  • Hinata: "(giggles) Is that so?"
  • Naruto: "Yes! Right before me eyes! I can't believe it's gone! I daydreamed in the office about that last cup of sweet instant goodness!"
  • Hinata: "Naruto-"
  • Naruto: "It's all gone! In fact, I think I'm just going to shower and cry myself to sleep. And then, when I wake up, I'm going to cry some more until I can get my hands on another one."
  • Hinata: "Naruto-"
  • Naruto: "But seriously, it was calling my name saying 'Naruto-sama, come get me!' and right at the moment where I'm here, it's gone! Gone I tell you..."
  • Hinata: "Well of course it's gone honey... you gulped it down right before you left for work this morning."
  • Naruto: "..."
  • Hinata: "..."
  • Bolt: "..."
  • Himawari: "..."
  • Naruto: "..Oh.."
  • Bolt and Himawari: 'face palm.'
  • Hinata: "Oh Naruto..."

She awoke with a start, silent tears streaming down her face as she looked around and tried to get her bearings.  "Jesus Christ,“ she said quietly, palming at her cheeks, trying to erase all evidence of crying.  It wasn’t until she realized that someone else was in the room with her that she stopped her motions and bit her lip, hoping against hope that they would think she was still sleeping.