i'm going to get drunk right

Drunk/Drinking Starters
  • ❝I do not get drunk-- I get awesome.❞
  • ❝I didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. ❞
  • ❝Wanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. ❞
  • ❝Nothing tastes as good as drunk feels.❞
  • ❝I've had... eleventy twelve beers.❞
  • ❝I've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain.❞
  • ❝I'm not as drunk as I use to was.❞
  • ❝Halloween? More like Hallowe-’re getting fucked up.❞
  • ❝What do you expect me to do- I'm drunk!❞
  • ❝But then I remember that alcohol existed.❞
  • ❝It’s not called slurring your words. It’s called talking in cursive and it’s fucking elegant.❞
  • ❝I’m totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk!❞
  • ❝If you can’t suck a cigarette, you sure as hell can’t suck a dick!❞
  • ❝I wanna bae you up.❞
  • ❝You're so drunk when I'm pretty.❞
  • ❝It's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wasted…❞
  • ❝I'm almost sober...❞
  • ❝We are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again.❞
  • ❝Why do people wear boxers? They’re just like small pants.❞
  • ❝I am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels.❞
  • ❝I’m in Pirates of the Caribbean right now..❞
  • ❝Take me drunk I’m home.❞
  • ❝Let’s go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood.❞
  • ❝Your kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit?❞
  • ❝Your cat... has it always had a German accent?❞
  • Qrow: Winter, how's it going?
  • Winter: Well, well, well, if it isn't my least favorite drunkard.
  • Qrow: You have a list? My my, it seems you have a type.
  • Ironwood: Qrow how did you get in here-
  • Winter: And it seems you have a habit of picking fights with me.
  • Ironwood: Winter this is a private meeting. Qrow shouldn't even know-
  • Qrow: What can I say? *takes a swig* I'm an angry drunk.
  • Winter: That's going to kill you someday. You know that, right? Oh, and I suppose the alcohol might do a number on you, too.
  • Ironwood: Winter, Qrow, this is a matter of national security-
  • Qrow: That sounded like a threat. *Draws weapon*
  • Winter: You walk into my kingdom-
  • Ironwood: Your kingdom?
  • Winter: -and draw your weapon? *Draws weapon* It sounds like you're the one who's making threats.
  • Ironwood: How did he get past all the locks? This is our most advanced security system!
  • Qrow and Winter: *Commence sexually charged duel*
  • Ironwood: *Calling phone* Ozpin I thought you said Qrow was in Vale.
  • Ozpin: I lied.
  • Ironwood: Why?
  • Ozpin: He gave me a starbucks giftcard.
  • Ironwood: SERIOUSLY?
  • Ozpin: I like coffee.
5

Happy Valentine’s

Iwaoi- Hip Hop AU (Oneshot) |for more information read my tags|

Lyrics in blue box taken from “They Lied” - Atmosphere feat Spawn

Thank you @t0bio-kageyama for all those great ideas and headcanons. It really inspired me. I also got inspired by @happytoorus wonderful Art (late working together)

anonymous asked:

okay but let's talk weddings. what would a shallura wedding be like? what kind of people are the members of the Voltron crew at weddings? who cries bc they're single, who gets drunk, who dances on the table, who brought way too many people with them, who's overly emotional? let's get all the wedding clichés on the table and put names on it, i want a wedding prep au

thank you for this ask honestly bc can you even imagine the Chaos Level

(also thanks to @leg-defender for headcanoning this all w me)

  • Lance sobs. Like Hunk is gonna be shedding some Real Tears too but Lance is a mess. He’s balling, he’s overwhelmed.
    • “They grow up so fast….” “Lance I’m older then you.” [blows nose] “I still remember when you said your first words”

      • also
      • “Lance are you crying”
      • “NO”
      • [tears are streaming down his face, 10 different people have already offered him tissues, he’s literally curled up in a fetal position on the floor]

  • Lance is also the one who gets Super Drunk and makes the ridiculous irrelevant speeches at the toast.

    • “I would like to take this opportunity to formally say, that the time when all of Keith’s hair gel went missing and everyone assumed it was the mice. That was me. I tried it and it made my hair look weird so i threw it all out the airlock”

    • [silverware clattering to the floor] “I KNEW IT”

  • Hunk personally caters the entire event.  Literally no one else is allowed to so much as suggest any kind of food. Hunk’s Got This. Also, touch anything before it’s ready and Prepare For Death.

    • Lance tried to eat the wedding cake batter and he still won’t talk about what happened to this day.
    • He just whimpers slightly and leaves the room asap.

  • Pidge is the reluctant flower child. The team literally drew straws over the position and Pidge got the short end of the bargain.

    • Hunk ends up joining Pidge on the wedding day though bc he really wanted to wear a skirt and bunch of flowers in his hair and he just makes the whole experience really Good.

    • Pidge rides on his shoulders down the aisle and they all end up having a pretty fun time.

  • Coran is Allura’s maid of Honor you can’t fight me on this one.

    • He also walks her down the aisle.

  • Lance and Keith are basically Allura’s Tag Team Bridesmaids. Lance has literally been to a billion weddings bc of his huge family so he has the whole thing d o w n. He helps Allura pick out her dress, shoes, earnings and whatnot. Allura is so overwhelmed at this point that she kind of just lets him speed around and do whatever.

    • Coran demands to be in on Every Choice but really it’s all Lance. Coran makes weird Uncle Fashion Decisions but his intentions are good at heart so a lot of his funky suggestions get incorporated into the outfit.

    • In the end Lance pulls everything together and Allura looks like a goddamn Goddess so All is Well.

  • Keith does her hair and makeup, like really, really well. Scary well. Lance has to help him with the braids (“Keith that’s not how a braid works” “Shut up lets see you do better” “dude I have like five sisters move.”) but all in all she looks Fabulous so it’s a success.

    • Nobody can figure out where Keith’s make up skills came from.

      • “Where did you learn to do this??”
      • “‘S jus a hobby.”

  • Keith catches the bouquet

    • Lance is jealous as shit that Keith caught it and not him.

      • “No fair!! I wanted to get married next Keith don’t be fucking Rude”

      • “Fuck off Sanchez I caught it first and it’s not like we can both be the next to get married”

      • Everyone: [looks into the camera like they’re on the office]

  • Everyone dances and has a Good Time

    • Yes even Keith

      • He’s a really shitty dancer but he’s drunk and Alive For Once
      • He will regret every single choice he made in the morning but right now there is No Stopping Him

    • Lance is Extra Drunk and is absolutely dancing on the table to Shakira. Lance stop. Get down from there. Keith what are you doing don’t encourage him don’t join him on the table Keith. Keith no. Are you kidding me.

    • Shiro gives up trying to control his children after Pidge takes over the DJ booth because there’s no going back from that
  • Everybody laughs and cries at least a little but all in all everyone is Happy and Having A Grand Ol Time
2

thanks to @hedaclarks for the beautiful text

a masterlist of prompts and sentence starters
  • [ SEND A SYMBOL FOR A DRABBLE ABOUT OUR MUSES ]
  • ☂: our muses get caught in the rain outside without an umbrella
  • ★: our muses stargaze together
  • ✈: your muse is going away for a time and says goodbye to my muse or vice versa
  • ❤: one of our muses says the first "i love you" to the other
  • ✿: your muse asks my muse to dance with them or vice versa
  • ☤: my muse visits your muse at the hospital
  • ☢: your muse tells my muse that they need to break up
  • ☯: our muses have their first kiss
  • ❅: our muses have a snowball fight
  • ☠: my muse visits your muse's grave
  • ▲: how our muses first met
  • ➳: how one of our muses asked the other on a first date
  • ✌: our muses' wedding
  • ⌚: my muse proposes to your muse or vice versa
  • [ SEND ONE OF THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES FOR MY MUSE'S RESPONSE ]
  • "Please don't leave me."
  • "I don't want to lose you, okay?"
  • "Because I love you!"
  • "And I thought I could trust you."
  • "I can't believe you forgot."
  • "What did you do this time?"
  • "We're going to get caught!"
  • "Kiss me."
  • "I'm sorry, I screwed up."
  • "I might be drunk."
  • "You look beautiful."
  • "That smirk is annoyingly hard to ignore."
  • "Stop staring at me!"
  • "Please go away, you can't see me like this."
  • "Come on, dance with me."
  • "I need you. I need us."
  • "You can't just lead me on like that!"
  • "I can't do this anymore."
  • "Oh, I'm nothing special."
  • "Just don't forget me, okay?"
  • "You have to let me go."
  • "We'll get through this together."
  • "You're not alone, you know."
  • "Shut up! I hate you!"
  • "I wish this could last forever."
  • "Maybe I was right in thinking that I should never have even fallen in love with you."
  • "What would the world be like without you?"
  • "Why do you like me so much?"
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Shit, what did I do?"
  • [ SEND A TEXT FOR MY MUSE'S RESPONSE ]
  • [text]: Fuck you.
  • [text]: Where are you?
  • [text]: I'm sick.
  • [text]: I love you.
  • [text]: I wish I could be with you right now.
  • [text]: I'm at your door.
  • [text]: Is that all you care about?
  • [text]: Please stop talking about her/him.
  • [text]: Just come over, watch a movie, and cuddle with me.
  • [text]: Don't even start.
  • [text]: Is that all I am to you?
  • [text]: Help me.
  • [text]: Wait, what happened?
  • [text]: I can't go to sleep because you're on my mind.
  • [text]: I miss you.
  • [text]: Good night.
  • [text]: Stop leaving me voicemails, I'm not going to forgive you.
  • [text]: Tell me you didn't forget.
  • [text]: I've had such a bad day.
  • [text]: Don't talk to me ever again.
  • [text]: I have nothing if I don't have you.
  • [text]: After all we've been through, you can't leave me... please.
  • [text]: Breaking up over a text? You've stooped that low?
  • [text]: Can you stop ignoring me for a second?
  • [text]: Sometimes I worry that you won't know how much I love you.
  • Caranthir: Alright guys, let's plan this heist of ours. Let's be really careful, we have to prepare...
  • Eredin: Shut up Caranthir, I just sensed Ciri at Kaer Morhen, we're going there right now.
  • *
  • Caranthir: Okay guys, Ciri just unleashed a devastating outburst of power, we have to get out of here asap.
  • Imlerith: Got it!
  • Eredin: Yeah. I'm just gonna try and grab her real quick tho, wait for me guys.
  • *
  • Caranthir: Alrighty, we have to start planning our next move. It's important we don't put ourselves in any form of risk hereafter...
  • Imlerith: Sure I'm just gonna get drunk and go party real quick tho, brb
  • *
  • Imlerith: So I'm dead.
  • Caranthir: Me too.
  • Eredin: Same here. What went wrong guys?
  • Caranthir: *sigh*
This Is Heaven in Hiding (Chapter 16)

Heavy pounding on the door startles Clarke out of her uneasy slumber. The couch is uncomfortable and with the blanket on she’s sweaty, but she doesn’t want to move, get up, acknowledge anything else right now.

She came home in a pile of tears and regret and crashed on the couch. The bed smelling too much like her, holding too many memories. The couch…the couch was the safer option. Her shirt smells like Lexa’s apartment but she can’t take it off, can’t even fucking breathe for the war that is raging inside of her chest.

Lexa’s clipped, hurt voice echoing in her head. Her wide, sad eyes as she retreated to the hotel bathroom. How happy and free she was in bed in the morning, kissing Clarke like a fiend after they had sex.

It’s all haunting her.



[READ MORE]

anonymous asked:

Not sure if your ask box is closed yet (cause I'm on mobile) but if it is open how about Robert and dadsona go on a date and while Robert steps away, some drunk guy comes up to dadsona and flirts and gets handsy with dadsona. I need more protective Robert,yo!

Robert: ‘hey’

‘hey’

‘y/n’

‘come outside, lets go out somewhere’

Y/n: ‘You mean like, a date?

Robert: ‘shut up, come to the bar with me’

Y/n: ‘Of course.’

-xxxxx-

You’re sitting at the bar with Robert right next to you, looking at him when he slides you a shot of whiskey. He has a nervous smile on his face. It makes him look softer and less intimidating than usual. “You know, you don’t have to buy me drinks for me to like you.” You throw back the shot and still cringe a little when it burns down your throat. “Though it is a nice gesture.”

Robert sighs and takes his own shot before resting a hand on your thigh, the light pressure kind of soothing. “I didn’t bring you here to get drunk, I was thinking some food?” He looks hopeful, and you can tell it’s the first time he’s tried a relationship in a while. It’s endearing though, the soft gestures and the nervous words. “Why don’t we find a table, something more- comfortable?” You laugh and grab his hand while you hop down from the barstool, leading him to an empty booth seat in the corner.

“You know, we could have gone to a fancy restaurant, wine, bread, the whole nine yards.” You smile as you joke and think about what to get to eat, maybe some fries, a burger? You really don’t mind what you’re eating, as long as you’re with Robert.

He scoffs a little at that, laughing softly. He doesn’t seem like the type to go out to a fancy dinner, and that’s fine with you. “And miss out on greasy bar food? I’ll pass-” He spots a waitress coming their way and a huge grin spreads across his face. “Sometimes you just need some fries with a layer of gross, processed cheese.” Robert orders some fries, some other strange appetizers and a burger upon your request, and you can’t say that aren’t excited for a nice buffet of fried food.

The food doesn’t take very long, and Robert has child-like enthusiasm while you wait. The first fry he puts in his mouth makes a blissful look cross his face. “It’s just the right kind of disgusting.” You can’t help but laugh with him before taking a fry of your own. You would have to agree with his statement. “Do you want any drinks?” You shrug as he feeds an onion ring into your mouth before nodding in approval.

“I’ll go get some Beer?” Robert laughs while covering his mouth and trying to stop food from falling out. Classy. He settles for a thumbs up and you head for the bar in search of good beer.

It doesn’t take very long to be noticed by the bartender, and he lists a helpful selection of beers on tap. You settle for one that isn’t too cheap or too expensive, and you wait patiently as the bartender helps someone else to your left. 

“Hey, gorgeous, what are you doing here?” You half expect it to be Robert coming up behind you, but that isn’t his voice or his hot breath ghosting over your ear. You turn your head awkwardly to see the man behind you and he rests a hand on your shoulder. “Let me take you home.” 

His words are slightly slurred, and he’s definitely drunk, and you politely move his hand from your shoulder and turn around to face him. “No thank you, I’m here with someone-” His hands are back on you again, holding your waist and getting dangerously close to unwanted territory. You grab his wrists and try to force him off, but he doesn’t budge. “Hey- stop, please.”

Robert gets up from the table when he notices you’ve been gone for too long, making his way over to the bar blindly while looking at his phone. “Hey, y/n, what’s taking so-” He hears you struggling and looks up immediately. You catch his eyes with yours and try to convey your fear. “Hey, asshole!” The man turns around, but he still has a firm grip on you. “Yeah, you- let go of my boyfriend.” Robert is nearly growling. “Now.”

Robert comes closer. The guy pulls you closer in response, his hand moving lower until- “Back the fuck off.” Robert’s voice is low and angry, threatening. “You move that hand one inch-” The attention of everyone around is on you and you feel almost embarrassed, but the man’s hand moves again and Robert is giving him a swift punch to the face. 

“If you ever touch him again, if I ever see you again.” The man is rubbing his jaw, his hands successfully off of you. “I will knock your god damn teeth in and break your fucking arms.” Robert is quiet and serious before he turns to you, grabbing your beers off of the bar. “You alright, kid?” You nod and he leads you back to the table, laughing when the guy runs out of the bar. 

“That was- thank you.” You’re still a little shaken, but you’re glad to be back in your seat, and you pop a fry in your mouth. “I thought you were going to kill the guy.” You don’t say it was hot, it shouldn’t have been attractive at all. He was just so…protective.

“It’s all about intimidation, y/n.” Robert chuckles. “I wasn’t actually going to kill him, I just had to make him think that I would.” He tilts your chin up with his fingers and smiles. “And you were into it.”

You roll your eyes and shush him, a grin on your face.

-Mod Arin

  • Anakin: *drunk* Did I ever tell you how much I LOVE your beard.
  • Obi-wan: *also drunk* And your hair. It's so shiny and bouncy.
  • Anakin and Obi-wan: *continue to babble*
  • Rex: What are we going to do with them?
  • Ahsoka: I don't know, but I'm sure not going anywhere with them. Look at them.
  • Anakin: We should get married, we'd make such a wonderful pair. You should see me in the mornings.
  • Obi-wan: I don't think I'm entirely drunk enough for that kind of talk.
  • Anakin: You are quite right. *grabs bottle*
  • Cody: What ever we do, I think we need to separate them.
  • Ahsoka: I'd hate so explain to the council why their top two jedi are married. Let's go.
  • Magnus, snickering: You two are like two peas in a pod
  • Raphael: Bane-
  • Alec, drunk: What? What are two peas in a pod like?
  • Magnus: Very similar, they get along well
  • Alec: How do you know they get along well? Did you ask them?
  • Magnus: Well, no, but-
  • Alec: You shouldn't assume things, Magnus. It's not good. You told me that.
  • Magnus: It's just a saying, I-
  • Alec, getting up: I'm going to go find a pair of peas and ask them right now *walking off*
  • Raphael: I am NOT like him at ALL
  • Magnus: that's...debatable

anonymous asked:

"??" for a drunk text? Akira x reader! ((Also I'm love your writing you're talented with words imo))

Send “??” for a DRUNK text

> He y babe are u agidyne because yuore hot
> I lov yuo a lot thank you for alwys being there
> whys there wter on my phone
>baaaaabe answerr mee
>whrs morgna I wanna to go to bed
> Hey, uh, it’s Ryuji. Akira got wasted and he’s now on the floor, askin’ where you are. Uhh… I don’t think he’s gonna be okay anytime soon so could ya come pick him up? Sorry to push it, but I have to get goin’ soon;;; Thanks again.

pll characters as jenna marbles quotes
  • aria: and i was like, mom, it's not a big deal. i'm in fifth grade now and i'm trying to get the boys to pay attention to me.
  • spencer: dad i don't know--dad, you got like six other kids!
  • hanna: there is no five second rule, if you drop something you just eat it at your own free will, you're gonna be fine
  • emily: hello i have been watching your channel for some time now and i have been wondering is your cermet going to grow
  • alison: it irks me to my core when people don't have a hairstyle that's appropriate for what the fuck they're doing [...] bitch, stop it, stop doing this to your hair and your face and your life and i need you to fucking not, can you not?!
  • ezra: we got finals tomorrow but i don't go here i don't go anywhere
  • toby: you didn't choose the thug life and the thug life didn't choose you either
  • jason: well finally the outside matches the inside. broken. beaten-down. sad, tired. (you forgot mad fucked.) mad fucked.
  • lucas: you know it's my dream to make a twitter account talking nothing but trash to nasa 24/7
  • caleb: witness to an actual murder out of ten
  • charlotte: hey guys welcome back to 2008 hot's channel right about now i'm gonna show you how to be extra 2008 hot first you gonna get yoself some acrylic nails
  • mona: i give five nights at freddy's a where pussies go to relax out of ten
  • jessica: next time you don't respect my personal space during teeheehaha class you're gonna get cut, bitch, cut
  • wren: this thing can saw through bone but not my calculator watch?
  • kenneth: WHOSE CHILD IS THIS? IT IS NOT MINE
  • ashley: hi friends i'm getting drunk today, i don't always get drunk but when i do it's today
  • veronica: i like octodad but DAMN is my family annoying, i can't wait to lEAVE THEM ALL FOR MY DREAM OF STRIPPING
  • peter: i give who's your daddy a maury povich out of ten

I don’t think people always realize why or how some people like Severus Snape. Multiple times tonight I’ve been reminded just how much like Snape I can be. I’ve had to stop myself from saying things because “well others” or “can’t be that bitchy” and in the process get reminded that SNAPE helped me see that.

Snape went off on so many people, never once questioning his thought process and yet still likely holding back so much. Not because he questioned but just because …. then you have things saved for later or it’s not the right time. I’m Snape, with a bit of support and help. And that means so much to me because despite everything …. i didn’t join the KKK or some other bigoted group … I joined the military.

I still joined a group. I still joined a social organization that while presented for one thing was really more another, and while I still, to this day, love my military service and would do it again to this day …. i acknowledge its for what it was presented about (diplomatic relations, exploratory understanding of things, etc) and not the other aspect (inserting the American way onto others, war, violence, patriotic duty, etc).

Snape is similar. He joined a group thinking it was about a certain thing only to find out it wasn’t (admitedly for him it took attack on someone he knew personally, for me …. well it was less personal and more “it can’t really be that bad?” as I looked at multiple tumblr posts over the years). Snape just … never got help.

I honestly don’t think people identify with Snape or like him so much because he’s just as complicated as they are. Like, here is this man with this past of abuse and neglect and bullying that for some reason thought this bigotted, dark group was right for him only to turn and go “shit no” yet STILL never once get help for his stuff. He went it alone. All his mental helath problems nad physical health problems he was always ALONE. Even when friends with Lily, from everything we get of their interactions … he never let her know how bad. He was always, admittedly by choice more often than not, alone. But no one bothered to understand.

Dumbledore himself said that he sees what he wants to see, while not admitting he sees in Harry what HE wants to see. He sees the bits of Lily and James he can use, just as Snape sees all the same arrogance and disregard for rules James had (which is, despite Snape’s association of the traits, rather accurate for a lot of HArry’s behavior).

Tonight, I walked away from a potentially violent fight because of Snape. Because of Snape I was able, repeatedly, to remind myself I could make it through tonight. Because of Snape I held on. I’m not sure some people who go at Snape and his fans, realize just how much this man helps us just go “Okay, well, if I made it through today without strangling someone or getting in a fight, I can get to tomorrow”. Because if they did, maybe I could get on tumblr and look up SNape without immediately seeing hate.

Snape helps me. He reminds me I’ve seen my flaws, that I’m not always right, that I’m not perfect but i cant keep moving forward. He’s showed me that the past does matter, that no matter how much people want to discount your past does impact your present, especially if its traumatic. Even today, I have to step back from my irrational addict mindset and go “No, you aren’t insane, your memories and childhood are different and they don’t understand that. Doesn’t make you wrong, just on a different track they can’t seem to cross with”

So, for all you who want to shit on Snape daily and go after his fans (even telling us to kill ourselves or call us things like rapists and terrorists and bigots), I”m not any of the things you think. I’m merely a girl who has struggled with life so much and has seen a kindred spirit in Snape that is a wonderful example of how bad someone can get. A wonderful show of, no matter how far you fall you can still crawl back up because as long as YOU acknowledge your own past and work to change (like refusing to let someone use a racial slur) than you have improved.

anonymous asked:

Tfp Megatron, Starscream, Knockout, and Shockwave reacting to their femme decepticon ally they respect for their calm demeanor getting drunk on high energon in their quarters. When they go to or are sent to check on them the femme declares something about being willing to carry their sparkling. (I'm sorry if you've done an ask like this before)


(Nah, I haven’t, but I want to write about more drunk characters, haha. I feel like these are shitty hentai intros XDc)

Megatron

  • After a long walk of your stumbling and slurring sentences out of nowhere, he finally gets you to your hab.
  • He’s a tad disappointed in you for getting drunk, but that’s not something to worry about right now, you’ll talk about that later.
  • He picked you up and steadily put you down on your berth.
  • “Eyyy, Meggie, can ya do me a favor?”
  • He most likely wasn’t going to, but he let you speak anyway.
  • “Can you give me ur sparkilingssss, i want them.” you slurred.
  • His eyes widened but ignored what you said.
  • “Recharge y/n.”

Starscream

  • He’s the kinda guy who fucking drags you across the floor by your hand as you moan and mumble drunken slurs to the floor. It’s pitiful, but no one helps neither him or you.
  • Once you two actually get to your hap, he tries to get you up on your peds and onto the berth.
  • Primus, you’re really going to owe him for this.
  • Once he’s got you sitting on the edge of your berth, you say something weird.
  • “Starscamm,,, scramer,,, i want ur sparklingss,,,”
  • He froze and furrowed his brow. Disgust was readable all over his face.
  • You’re really gonna own him after this.
  • “Recharge, y/n.”
  • “Scraaammm, nuuuuuuuuu,,”
  • “Y/n, please go the frag to recharge.”

Knockout

  • “Oh come on! You’re scratching my paint job!”
  • He really doesn’t want to deal with your shit right now.
  • “I’m sorryyyy koc doc, pleasee don’t be maddd!”
  • He’s so thankful the second he finds your hab.
  • “Okay, y/n, i want you to go lay down on the berth for me, alright?”
  • “Docs orders, yea.”
  • And as he goes over to get you all situated.
  • “Docc, doc, docc,” you put a shaky servo on his shoulder, “lemme have ur sparklings, docccc.” you slur.
  • If cybertronians had saliva, he’d be choking on it right now, but he quickly passes it off as you just being drunk and shakes his head.
  • “Good night, y/n.”

Shockwave

  • “Shockers,,, wavey wave,,” you say, continuing to butcher his name, not that he cares. You’re fragged up drunk, you need to get to your hab to sleep off your high.
  • “Shockyyy, how do you live shockss, so unemotional, i’m so sorryyy skocky,” you slur into his neck. To which he ignores and continues on his way.
  • Once you get in your hab, he picks you up and slowly put you on your berth.
  • “y/n. Recharge.”
  • “Skockery,,,,, i want ur sparklings.”
  • He goes silent for a second, his ‘ears’ twitch.  
  • “No, you’re drunk. And an offspring is not something we need. It is illogical.” he says before leaving you as you pass out.   
2

–From a Certain Point of View: “We Don’t Serve Their Kind Here“

As much as I enjoy the idea in fic, canon seems pretty clear that Obi-Wan’s not actually much of a drinker, which makes a lot of sense to me!  Obi-Wan is a character who keeps walking on the path he’s set in front of himself and he has a path and purpose on Tatooine.  A lonely one, one that’s got endless stretches of nothing on it, but still a path and purpose all the same.

If he was going to get lost in anything, it would be in meditation, in examining the past and trying to figure out where it went wrong or simply get in touch with the Force more clearly (as he’s learning how to become a Force Ghost, after all)–but even that isn’t really about numbing himself or anything.  Obi-Wan is someone who comes to terms with things as best he can (not perfectly, after all that’s where the “from a certain point of view” comes from), we see that he’s pretty clear-eyed and balanced as best as anyone could be in his conversations with Qui-Gon and Luke.

That’s someone who thinks they have more time, who still carries that sorrow with him, who has a lot to struggle through when he’s actually dying, his regrets and pain, that he knows there are some things he can’t face (can’t call Anakin by his name, but he understands that about himself), but, no, drunk!Obi-Wan never really seemed to be a thing in canon.

the signs as Bob's Burgers quotes
  • Aries: My life is more difficult than anyone else on the planet. And yes, I'm including starving children, so don't ask.
  • Taurus: If you need me, I'll be on the floor. Dying.
  • Gemini: Summer is awful. There's too much pressure to enjoy yourself.
  • Cancer: Mommy doesn't get drunk. She just has fun.
  • Leo: I got a tool to remove security tags! Next Christmas is on me!
  • Virgo: Ooh, mini croissants! No matter what I say, stop me when I've had sixteen.
  • Libra: Was it obvious I don't care?
  • Scorpio: I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.
  • Sagittarius: What is this feeling I'm feeling right now? It's like I'm sad for another person? Is that a thing? AM I GOING CRAZY?
  • Capricorn: Okay, fine. But I'm gonna complain the whole time.
  • Aquarius: Hey, daytime whiskey, wanna meet my CD collection?
  • Pisces: I don't need a boy to pay attention to me. I'll pay attention to myself.
Astoria: a track by track review
  • Astoria: Josh has been possessed by Freddy Mercury and I am here for it
  • Burning Up: how
  • Yesterday: I'm dancing like a drunk dad at a barbecue
  • One Love: who hurt him who hurt my son
  • This Means War: I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now
  • Dearly Departed: who hurt my son part 2
  • Shut Up and Kiss Me: how did this Jackson Five track get into my itunes library
  • Forget Me Not: I'm not going to make fun of this one sorry
  • Wildfire: it's like Desperate Measures but SPICIER
  • Who Do You Love: I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICAAAAAAA
  • While We're Young: put this down as my cause of death
  • End of An Era: WITNESS ME