i'm going to burn in hell for this

  • video game: adjust the brightness until you can just barely see this image on the screen. don't overdo it. there is a delicate balance--
  • me: [upping the hell out of that brightness until it's like looking into the goddamn sun and that image is forever burned into my retinas] i'm sorry what was that i can't hear you over the sound of me wanting to actually see what the fuck is going on
ffxiv classes, 4.05 edition
  • paladin: the power of christ compels you to BURN IN HELL
  • warrior: we're still relevant right?
  • dark knight: oh hey we actually have utility now
  • white mage: why do lilies exist again
  • scholar: *distant screaming*
  • astrologian: apparently i'm a scholar now
  • black mage: sorry what was that? i couldn't hear you over the sound of murder
  • summoner: *drifts gently into oblivion*
  • red mage: *aggressively mashes face against keyboard* AM I WINNING?????
  • bard: WILL YOU JUST FUCKING PROC ALREADY
  • machinist: at least i still get top dps when it comes to glamour
  • dragoon: i'm gonna go take a nap, wake me up when my eye stacks are ready
  • monk: wait you mean chakra is actually a mechanic?
  • ninja: what do you mean, "burst damage"?
  • samurai: i have no idea what the fuck i'm doing but act says i'm doing a good job

Hi everyone. How are you today?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
A
R
E
Y
O
U
KIddING mEEEEEEE
IS THIS REAL???WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE
WhaT ThE fUUUCkkkkk
MY DUDE SUCCCCC THE FINGER

WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT!!!!! NOT ME!
N
O
T
M
E
I’m going to buy a pair of ice skates and burn them in a hell fire in sacrifice to the iceskating gods

(Obviously I know the ring isint real I’m just talking about the scene in general)
Undertale Characters as History of the Entire World, I Guess Quotes
  • Asriel: Even crazier space dust
  • Flowey: You could make a reli- no don't
  • Frisk: That's a human person
  • Chara: Whoops, half of Europe just died
  • Toriel: That's bullshit. This is bullshit. That's a scam
  • Asgore: Well, blame something on them and go to war
  • Also Asgore: Fuck it, time to plant some grass
  • Sans: Do you sin?
  • Papyrus: Pretty cool, huh?
  • Undyne: Fuck you obey the law
  • Alphys: Wanna print a brain?
  • Mettaton: some stars burn and die, bigger stars burn out and die with PASSION
  • Napstablook: It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you
  • Muffet: Hell yeah, now we got business
  • Gaster: Yeah it broke apart. Don’t worry about it, it does that all the time
  • Grillby: And about a kjghpllion degrees
  • Tem: Learn to use an egg
Trollhunters FanFic – “Like for Like, Echo for Echo”

After the silence of loneliness, Barbara Lake is all too ready to chase after an echo only he can give her…

A prequel of sorts to An Amorous Attack.


The night is dark and full of Stricklake, she whispers…

AND I FOR ONE AM HERE FOR IT! 

Originally posted by drunkbroadway

Dedicated to @humanityinahandbag & @bifacialler, my fellow shipmates in Stricklake Hell and who deserve all the love and encouragement in the world! Ler my love, please feel free to think of this as an early birthday present =) 

Fair bit of warning, folks, it gets quite steamy here. Nothing that warrants an Explicit or Mature rating, of course, but…well, if you read An Amorous Attack, you know what’s in store. 

Originally posted by hideawayandhaven

As always, I hope you enjoy! 


“You know…you didn’t have to walk me home.”

He arched a brow at her as they made their way up to her porch, the gesture making those (so unfairly gorgeous) green eyes of his glint as his mouth curled into a half smile, the same one that had made Barbara’s heart do such a strange little spasm when first seeing it that she had been worried until she realized that oh, that’s fluttering.

That had been followed by Oh God, what the hell are you thinking, getting a crush on your son’s teacher?

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KILL ALL WHITE PEOPLE! Throw white babies into the fucking ocean or off a goddamn mountain! If you see a white person in the street stab them to death and watch the light fade from their racist eyes! Then go to their house and LIGHT THAT SHIT ON FIRE WITH THEIR FAMILY INSIDE! Enjoy their white tears and they slowly burn to death!”

“Wow, you seem really fucking awful. What the hell is wrong with you?!?!”

“Lol it’s okay, you can’t be racist to white people! God, white people want to be oppressed so bad lmfao!”

The Great Gatsby Characters as History of The Entire World I Guess Quotes
  • Jay Gatsby: He was great, and now he's dead.
  • Nick Carraway: Here's a printer, let's make books!
  • Daisy Buchanan: It's sad. I'm sad. I miss you.
  • Tom Buchanan: That's bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. That's a scam. Fuck the church. Here's 95 reasons why.
  • Jordan Baker: Let's get in a car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.
  • George Wilson: Look at those guns.
  • Myrtle Wilson: Some stars burn out and die. Bigger stars burn out and die with passion.
  • Meyer Wolfsheim: Hell yeah, now we've got business!
  • Dan Cody: I can't even get from here to there without buying a boat.
Draco's first sorry (Hermione's phone record #1)
  • Hermione: Hell-
  • Draco: AT LAST!! Finally decided to end this little war aren't you?
  • Hermione: No. Because You are annoying! You call me fifteen times every ten minutes in the last six hours like some kind of a lunatic! What do you want?
  • Draco: where the hell are you? Why aren't you going home?
  • Hermione: Don't feel like it
  • Draco: Come home. I'm Starving. Make me some food.
  • Hermione: You have house elves! Ask Rufus to cook for you. He knows the recipe I taught him.
  • Draco: Yes he knows but it's not even human enough to eat. the meat is still raw, the vegetables are burned, yours tasted better than him. I want muggle food.
  • Hermione: Just buy it somewhere
  • Draco: It's Freezing outside! I can't find my favorite black coat.
  • Hermione: Your Coats are all black Draco. You have 3 more coats exactly the same models, I tailored them for you last week. Wear another one. It's on the left row.
  • Draco: Well, I can't drive. How am I suppose to eat?
  • Hermione: Have it delivered to the manor. I stick your favorite place's number on the refrigerator. Call them. Said it's on behalf of Hermione Malfoy. They know the usual order already.
  • Draco: Are you always this prepared?
  • Hermione: I got to go. I'm hang-
  • Draco: NO! NO NO NO!! WAIT! Don't hang up! I'm Sorry. Please come home, Mione.
  • Hermione: ....
  • Draco: Listen, I'm sorry I underestimate your job. I'll take out the trash, I'll clean the bathroom muggle way, I'll buy the groceries I'd do anything you want me to. Just come home, please.
  • Hermione: Said it again
  • Draco: .....
  • Hermione: Fine, Good B-
  • Draco: Geez OKAY OKAY I'M SORRY! I'm sorry.
  • Hermione: Apology accepted! And promise me you'll talk to Scorpius not to use "Father will hear about this" every time I send him out for an errand when he came home.
  • Draco: I promise. Pinky Swear.
  • Hermione: Alright then. I'll be home in five.
  • Draco: Thank god! okay, see you at home love
  • Hermione: Oh and Draco? You know I wouldn't leave you or Scorp or Jax alone without making sure your well beings first right? I might not be a ministry of magic anymore, but being your wife and mum are jobs that I will never quit. It's not fancy; little publicity and appreciation, lots of hard work and patience but it's worth every second. Thank you for giving me this honor.
  • Draco: anytime, love. Hurry, I'm starving. love you.
But scripture burns holy
between our bodies and I know,
any hell would be heaven if I went for you.
—  I love you more than god and maybe that means you’re divine, maybe it means I’m not | p.d (via phi dean vulpe)

One of my perennially popular posts is Things That Are Spiritually Abusive. I’ve had a few people (none recently, afaik) take exception to my stance that the doctrine of Hell is inherently abusive, but I was recently reminded of just why I take that view:

In group therapy the other day one of the other participants said that she believes she is inescapably going to Hell for her inability to love and forgive her parents after she learned that they sterilized her without her consent or knowledge. She actively thinks, by which I mean she said, that she will literally burn because of this unless she is able to forgive them.

And one of the other participants… one of the kindest people in the group… affirmed that this was a reasonable fear because she also believes that Hell is real.

Hamilton, an American Musical: a summary
  • Alexander Hamilton: Damn, this kid survived and then some
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: I have no idea what I'm doing
  • My Shot: But it seems like none of you do either!
  • The Story of Tonight: We have heartwarming aspirations
  • The Schuyler Sisters: Fuck the patriarchy
  • Farmer Refuted: Bro the king's not going to do anything
  • You'll Be Back: Oh shit, I guess he is
  • Right Hand Man: Desk work??? You've got to be kidding
  • Winter's Ball: I think we're drunk
  • Helpless: This is the best love story ever
  • Satisfied: Never mind
  • The Story of Tonight Reprise: We're definitely drunk
  • Wait For It: Surprise, surprise! I do have ambitions!
  • Stay Alive: THIS FUCKING GUY
  • Ten Duel Commandments: Could this be foreshadowing? Nah
  • Meet Me Inside: I done fucked up
  • That Would Be Enough: Apparently my wife doesn't mind
  • Guns and Ships: We're kicking ass. Alex! Come kick ass with us!
  • History Has Its Eyes on You: Okay son time to tell you how the world works
  • Yorktown: Everyone's kicking ass except the British
  • What Comes Next?: Time for King George to have a hissy fit
  • Dear Theodosia: This love is so pure oh my god
  • Non-Stop: I'm still kicking ass but now I'm a lawyer
  • What'd I Miss: All-American dance party
  • Cabinet Battle #1: Well I lost that argument AND control of my emotions!
  • Take a Break: Sorry fam I have to stay here and obsess over banks
  • Say No to This: An affair? Well, I'm only a politician with a lot of money. What could possibly go wrong?
  • The Room Where It Happens: Politics are frustrating
  • Schuyler Defeated: Is this about me? Of course it is. Everything's about me
  • Cabinet Battle #2: Screw France we gotta look out for America
  • Washington On Your Side: We like to call ourselves the Bitter Squad
  • One Last Time: You guys are exhausting I'm out
  • I Know Him: Your baby nation antics are amusing to me
  • The Adams Administration: I will roast everyone
  • We Know: Okay now I know what could go wrong
  • Hurricane: My past is sad
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: Turns out I will also roast myself
  • Burn: Alex is a self centered little shit
  • Blow Us All Away: I'm my father's son: combative and full of pride
  • Stay Alive Reprise: Whoops
  • It's Quiet Uptown: There could not be a worse coincidence than that stupid pamphlet and our son's death
  • The Election of 1800: Okay I know I'm supposed to be grieving but here's one final roast for y'all
  • Your Obedient Servant: Passive aggressive fight turns into real fight
  • Best of Wives and Best of Women: The hell are you going boy
  • The World Was Wide Enough: Whoops Pt 2
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: Eliza wins the prize for best character growth you can all go home

dongan-chan  asked:

Hey babe. Just passing by to tell you I really love your blog and your writing. I'm thirsty for a smut with Xiumin. Can you please do one? In an elevator (my poor soul, ahah.. I'm going to hell after this)

Sorry for the wait love. Forgive me please, I hope it’s all that you want<3!

Elevator Quickies:

His hips pushed against yours as your bodies collided against the cold surfaced walls of the elevator. The metal bar that’s placed so sturdily against the wall was now digging into your back as his hands felt you up, gripping you here and there; tugging at your shirt, gripping at your hair demanding another kiss. His eyes were hungry, his desires burning through him heating his body up and making your heart skip beats. Little beads of sweat already starting to cover the both of you and it hasn’t even reached past five minutes yet. Xiumin pulled back to let you breathe, but his mouth wasn’t done with you yet oh no, nudging up your head with his chin he started to kiss a trail to your neck making a dark hickey spot there marking you as his and only his. Your whines only made him laugh as his hands gripped at your plump cheeks smacking the flesh through your black tights. 

“Minseok-” You gently called out, remembering what happened the last time you ever tried to stop him, you were sore for a week and had to lie about why you were limping to and from workouts. And that famous half smirk on his lips as he looked up at you only moving back a bit so that you could see the shadows of his eyes let you know he was thinking the same damn thing. 

“Hurry up.” You mumbled in defeat, he always got his way. No matter what time nor place, when he wanted you, it was in your best bet to give in. Of course he wouldn’t make you but when you finally did let the wolf loose he made sure to mark and bite where he pleased leaving you gasping for breath. 

More than excited with your answer, he reached back behind him to press the emergency button stopping the elevator in it’s tracks. It was the first time you’ve both done something so risky. Maybe because his friends were new at the job so they didn’t really check cameras or maybe because they knew who he was and would help them. And finally maybe MAYBE he was just a fucking kinky ass man who didn’t give a shit. And honestly right now you thought the third option was the best. 

“I don’t have the time to treat your body like I normally do. So let Minseokkie wreck you and I promise later I will go back over my work baby girl.” He flashed a charming boyish smile up at you, his thick pink lips pressing down against your chest right above the valley of your breast. He used his large calloused hands to slip down your tights towards your knees. His warm sweat palms lifting you up off the floor by your thighs and usually you would protest but today, you decided to let it slide. Your hands braced against his chest as he bent your knees, bending you in half pressing you harder against the wall. He smirked down at you, reaching a hand down he moved your panties to the side exposing your dripping wet cunt. 

“Always so wet for me to just push right in. I fucking love it.” He flashed a brilliant white smile that lit up the room (and though you felt bitter to admit it) your heart as well. You hooked one of your arms around his neck, lifting it to play in his soft brown hair, while your other hand went down behind your body going for his zipper. 

“I have to stay wet to take you daddy, you’re so big I need all the help I can get from my juices to make sure you stretch me out.” You mumbled the words against his lips, watching his smile stay there but his eyes hardened, the lust driven beast there at full swing. Luckily your hand moved while you talked and it was quick enough to get his zipper down. Because a matter of seconds he was swatting your hand away to remove his dick from his boxers sliding it up and down your entrance once and then he was pushing inside of your wet folds quickly. 

He was always so big, stretching out your walls in the best way possible. Your pussy clamped down around his shaft, his warmth inside of you, and you could feel all of his veins outlining his thickness. Your head rolled back, lips parted into a silent cry of pleasure as he started to move. Quick harsh rolls of his hips he gave you while keeping you bent against the wall. His hands gripped at your ass cheeks to keep you sturdy and make sure you didn’t fall on him. He brought his left palm up to slap your ass letting the resounding loud smack resonate through the small space between the two of you.

Your lungs filled with a short gasp of air before you were screaming in pleasure not able to hold it anymore. Minseok leaned in close biting on your shoulder, a part of your body that was a weird spot but he loved making love to it with his mouth. Sucking on the patch of skin he kept pushing his hips forward letting his balls slap your ass, the juices from your pussy sliding down your parted thighs and pressing onto the base of his dick as well as his balls. He groaned feeling the wet substance that was not only wrapped around his girth but pressed against his skin. 

His hips rotated and wind against yours, so that he could fuck you harder, the harsh sounds of skin slapping against skin making the elevator move gently which both terrified you and thrilled you all the more. Pressing your hands on his shoulders, you knitted your eyebrows together focusing on rolling your hips down to take him as well, helping him out a bit. Your hands clenched into fist against his shirt wrinkling it up as you stare in his eyes, heated gaze against heated gaze but looking into his eyes you could feel yourself being consumed by darker flames. 

Your lips crashed against his, making the beast more than eager to respond. His plump kissable lips pressing against yours that molded against his. The kiss was anything but sensual, it was raw, rough and carnal. His teeth soon started to bruise your lips with bites when his lips wasn’t sucking on yours. A free hand moving down to rub your clit as he pushed his body against yours holding you against the wall. He brought you closer and closer to you release with the pad of his fingers rapidly moving up and down your throbbing hardened bud. Your cries were swallowed by his kisses, hips twitching and hands tightening in his shirt. Your stomach knotted and your eyes clenched tightly shut as you released your cum all on his dick buried inside of you. He growled ‘yes’ urging you on letting you meet your end before he was following you cumming inside of your pussy. So much of the thick white stuff came out that he had to hold you against the wall to make sure you took it all not wanting to make a mess. 

He held you until you were both able to calm down a bit, your hands releasing the death grip it had on his shirt while his hands rubbed up and down your back and he kissed your sweaty hair back from your face. Little tiny laughs filling the air from both your lips. 

“That was nice and all. But make sure you actually make it to the room next time Minseok! I need this job and I’m not getting paid to watch you fuck- or am I?” Chanyeol asked over the speaker. 

“Fuck you.” Minseok yelled out trying to shield you from the camera and get you clothed again, him slipping out of you caused you both to groan and tremble at the loss. 

“Aren’t you wore out from that round? Also, don’t try to hide her, I saw plenty while she was screaming.”

“CHANYEOL!” 

“If you keep looking at my girl, your life will be what you’re afraid to loose next.” Minseok warned while you screamed and flailed holding onto him. He laughed softly picking you up like a princess while Chanyeol complained and once the elevator got swinging in motion again. You kissed your handsome man until it was time for you both to get off and head into round 2. 

Falling Slowly 1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, 

Warnings: swearing, sass, slow burn, nothing else yet

Word count : 1.1k 

A/N: this is my first steve fic and au I hope you guys like it also it starts out with a bit of rumlow x reader but it’ll be worth it (hopefully). also not my gif

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