The villains are either dead or
captured, the evil organisation is imploding, MI6 is safe (for now), and so
James Bond rides off into the sunset with the car and the girl, leaving the rest
of them to clean up the mess, and Q wishes –
Q wishes a lot of things.
Q wishes he didn’t begrudge Bond
the happy ending, but he does, because James Bond is a bastard by trade and by
nature, and Q kind of hates him, why the hell does he get all the nice things?
Q wishes he could give Madeleine
Swann a guide book or a list of tips and tricks – what to do when Bond has bad
nights, what his favourite breakfast is, how to make him laugh, properly. But
he can’t, because all Q knows about Bond in private he knows from his file and
the MI6 rumour mill, not because Bond ever let him in. All Q could give advice
on is how to make Bond swear in Latin when he comes, and that’s something he’s
too selfish to share, even if it wouldn’t be incredibly weird.
Q wishes he could hate Madeleine
Swann, actually, it would make his life a whole lot easier. But he can’t
because she’s never done a thing to deserve it, in fact, she probably saved
Bond’s life – and it wouldn’t be fair, because it’s not her fault, none of it.
What Q wishes most of all is that
Bond would realise that the people around him don’t just exist to help him,
that they have real feelings and actual lives, because sometimes Q wants to
shake him, or punch him, or just tell him to get fucked.
In every other aspect of his
life, Q has spine, has guts, but where James Bond is concerned he’s like putty
in his hand, and Q hates it, hates Bond and his favours and that he capitulates
every single time. Hates that Bond
knows, must know, how Q feels, but
doesn’t seem to care either way, as long as he can use Q’s crush to get his
gadgets, to get his way.
Q wishes he’d never let Bond
touch him, that he’d been smart enough to turn him down, because then at least
he might have retained some semblance of control, but instead he said yes, and
now Bond knows exactly how Q likes his cock sucked, and exactly what to say to
make Q risk his job, his life, again and again.
random elementary headcanons because i need to cheer myself up and the finale continues to ruin me
joan sometimes steals sherlock’s clean t-shirts because they’re hella comfy and warm. sherlock pretends not to notice.
they get the occasional postcard from someone in australia signed with a picture of a cat and a snowflake and that’s how they know kitty is doing alright
mycroft is in witness protection in new zealand and can be briefly seen in the fourth hour of the third hobbit film as an elf
joan made sherlock watch the first season of orange is the new black and though he complained all the way through, the day the second season was released he woke her up with breakfast and a laptop on a tray
marcus doesn’t work out or go to the gym. he just looks like that. ALL THE TIME (and boy does he know it)
sherlock is really good at dancing because of his boarding-school education, but hasn’t really danced with anyone since irene
gregson lets marcus call him tommy but only when sherlock isn’t around
sherlock heard about joan offering gregson a hug and got unspeakably jealous for exactly twelve minutes and couldn’t understand why
marcus and gregson vet cold cases before they give them to sherlock in case they have drugs as a key element
sherlock knows (he appreciates it)
joan actually makes a better cup of tea than sherlock
once joan lost her coat while pursuing a suspect and sherlock gave her his without even thinking about it. she wore it for the next two days (well they didn’t have time to go home; crime was happening)
marcus visits alfredo in hospital because sherlock can’t after the finale; alfredo ends up having a thing for marcus (because who doesn’t)
sherlock is actually a massive star wars fan and on may 4th he invited marcus (under false pretences) to come and watch the original trilogy with him and joan