i'm getting everything out of my system now

anonymous asked:

When Dan does his music rants, I feel like I'm doing Phil a favor because at least Phil is getting a break from having to listen to it lol (My headcanon is that Phil doesn't mind canceling his own liveshows, but he does everything in his power to make sure their Tuesdays are free, so Dan can do his philosophy and music rants and get it out of his system)

I hadn’t ever thought of it like that but now that I read this ask I’m absolutely convinced that this is true. 

  • Hermione: [to Narcissa and Lucius] Here's the thing. I get that everything is going to be different now, and uh, that's why I'm gonna eat that chicken...even though the only thing I want right now is a peanut butter sandwich.
  • Narcissa: Great!
  • Hermione: Oh, I'm not done. If we're gonna do this whole everybody gets a vote thing, there's gonna be a new system. We'll still each get one vote, but also, the baby gets a vote. As I house the baby, I'll be speaking for him/her. And, since I'll be pushing this baby out of a very small hole in my body, I'll also get an extra special vagina vote! So, that's uh, three votes for us, two votes for you guys. Oh! We get the final say! Now, I'll be using my many votes to say that once a day, I will have one cup of regular coffee every day which is perfectly fine according to the studies that I've read. At least until I begin breastfeeding. Now, anybody wanna argue with my extra special vagina vote?
  • Lucius: No thank you.
  • Narcissa: [spoken in unison with Lucius] No...
  • Hermione: Great. [silence] Oh. We also vote that Draco gives me a foot rub
  • Draco: How did I get roped into this!?
  • Hermione: When you put a baby in me!!!

“when living starts to feel like dying” 5/6 (5.9k words)

“If I drink that I’m gonna puke,” Brian mumbled.

“I think maybe puking might not be the worst thing for you right now,” Alaska responded, still holding the glass of water out insistently. “After everything you’ve done so far tonight, it might be good to get that out of your system.”