i'm freaking out now because i like to pretend that nobody listens to them

I'm not leaving (Jeff Atkins x Reader)

Summary: You’re Jeff’s tutor and you’re in love with him. However, you could never bring yourself to tell him that, because you’re really insecure and going through severe depression and that makes you feel like you’re not good enough for him.

* there’s a part of the conversation that is a quote of some lines from 13 reasons why. I’m adding them because they’re lovely *

* nobody dies because Jeff Atkins deserved better, thanks *

——————————————-

You and Jeff were sitting on his room’s floor, surrounded by books, pens, markers and stuff like that. His English test was due to the next day and, since you were his tutor, you were there to help make sure he was ready for it. However, Jeff just got more and more desperate by the minute. He was complaining about how much he hated school and wishing he could just focus on baseball, but you weren’t paying attention. Your mind was far away.

You were thinking about how much you loved Jeff and how perfect he was. He was kind, gentle, handsome… You, on the other side, were a loser. You had eating problems, trust issues, depression, you weren’t a god damn cheerleader and you felt like you were as ugly as a person could possibly be. Atkins could never feel the same way about you.

“Are you even listening?” Jeff interrupted your thoughts, sounding a bit hurt by your lack of interest on whatever was it that he was saying.

“I’m sorry” you whispered, and leaned your head on the wall behind you. Your eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, and your breath started to get heavier and heavier. A warm hand touched your shoulder, causing butterflies on your stomach, but you pretended not to notice.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Jeff asked, with his charming voice.

“Nothing” you lied. “Can we call it a day?”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong”

You sighed.

“Everything is fine, Jeff, leave it alone” you said, and started to pick up your books from the floor. You could feel his stare, but you ignored it. Gently, he grabbed your hands and stopped you.

“Please, y/n. You’re making me worry. And you know what happens if you get a guy worried a day before his English test and a week before his major baseball game? That’s right. He blows everything up” he laughed a little, and your heart skipped a beat.

“Please, don’t do this. We both know you don’t care about me” you freed yourself from his hands and quickly got up. He looked at you like you slapped him on the face or something.

“Excuse me?” Jeff sounded extremely offended and hurt.

“Come on” you started, exasperated. “You’re a jock, I’m a nerd…ish. We get along just fine, but that’s it. You could never understand me or the shit that goes on inside my head, so why bother trying?”

“You don’t know that” he said, and you rolled your eyes. You reached for the door, but Jeff blocked the way with his body. “Y/n, just sit down, explain it to me. You don’t have to go. I promise to try my best to understand”

“You don’t have to”

“But I want to!” he looked a little upset. Not in a bad way, just kind of desperate to make you stay. You felt your eyes burn with tears and looked away. Jeff cupped your face with his hands and made you look at him. “Please, you’re breaking my heart. It might seem that way for you, but you’re not just a tutor for me. I care about you, I really do”

The tears started to roll over your face, and Jeff whipped them away with his fingers.

“You say that now. When I tell you everything, when I pour my heart out, you’ll freak out. You’ll leave”

He frowned.

“I love you, y/n. I am not leaving. Not now, not ever” Your eyes widened when you heard his words.

“You what?” you whispered, almost too low for him to hear.

“I love you. Even more than I love baseball” he repeated, with a sad smile. “I’m sorry if that’s too much or too soon, but I really do. We have known each other for a long time now, and you’re an amazing girl. I find your dimples adorable, your smile, your voice, your mermaid hair” you laughed softly, but he didn’t notice. “Open up to me, even if you don’t feel the same. Just let me help you”

You looked into his blue lovely eyes, and saw how frustrated he was. It suddenly hit you that he really thought you didn’t love him back.

“I love you too” you said. His jaw dropped and, after a few seconds, he opened the most beautiful smile. You felt his lips crashing into yours, and his hands pulled you closer by your waist. Everything was okay.

kyakshii  asked:

I'm sorry now that you mention kpop I can't stop thinking about a kpop au. Hinata always reminds me of BTS Park jimin when he had orange hair and Kageyama of sehun cause of his permanent batch face I'm kfbsjz

no, no… it is I who is sorry. *takes deep breath*

  • Karasuno is one of those groups that doesn’t need its own backup dancers because theres so freaking many of them
  • Their group fan color is ORANGE of course
  • except as Kageyama will very seriously always remind everyone “It’s actually Pearl Peach-Apricot” thank you very MUCH
  • the singers - Suga, Asahi, Yamaguchi, Noya, Ennoshita, Kageyama
  • the dancers - Daichi, Tanaka, Noya, Hinata, Suga, Kageyama
  • the rappers - Tanaka, Noya, Tsukishima… and Kageyama
  • Tanaka and Noya seem like they’d rap, yeah, but Tsukishima?
  • You bet your ass. This kid writes all his own verses and spits fire
  • Suga and Asahi DUET all the time and their songs are like rays of sunshine
  • Also Asahi cries at the end of every performance - and so does Tanaka
  • Asahi tries to hide it, but Tanaka just weeps, openly, sometimes crying on Noya’s shoulder
  • Tanaka has so many tattoos and the biggest heart, there are so many videos of Suga shoving pictures of baby animals in his face just to watch him lose it
  • ok i got off track REWIND - you may notice Kageyama is on all three of those lists back there
  • that’s because he’s That One Guy who can do everything even though he’s the YOUNGEST
  • he even raps sometimes, and he’s always really Cool and Hinata is generally just always in the background nosebleeding over him
  • Kageyama is the baby so everyone always focuses the camera on him expecting him to be super cute
  • BUT HE’S TERRIBLE AT IT
  • He had to take smiling classes as a trainee, but they eventually just gave up
  • He swears too much and he’s always either frowning or completely clueless and when asked questions will usually just reply with vaguely food-related answers, or need the question to be repeated entirely
  • somehow this just makes him cuter. Kags is the Frowniest Idol
  • SO Hinata always tries to steal the cute spotlight
  • he pretends he’s the youngest, he has lied on camera about it until Kageyama outed him as the fourth youngest
  • Whenever the camera is focused on Kags, Hinata always creeps up in front like aegyo~~~

Originally posted by dianary

  • and Kags and Tsukki always get SUPER ANNOYED because it WORKS
  • everyone thinks Hinata is the cutest even though he’s actually a demon
  • (Hinata eats all their leftovers even if they put their name on it omG)
  • “IT SAID ‘HINATA DO NOT EAT THIS’ SO WHY IS IT GONE?”
  • “I was reeeeally huuungryyyy Tobioooo”
  • d e m o n
  • Variety shows love having them on because there is just constant fighting and the audience eats it up
  • Daichi is the most long-suffering leader, constantly trying to rein the other members in why doesn’t anyone listen to him wtf
  • but then as soon as Suga asks them to listen?? they do???
  • Suga is literally 0% helpful at all times because he’s always too busy giggling at TanaNoya making the biggest mess
  • but if he notices Daichi actually starting to stress/wonder if the group is making a bad impression, Suga makes everyone line up REAL QUICK
  • Also, Sugawara Koushi has the voice of an angel
  • and the dance moves of a sex god someone stop him
  • (“don’t ever stop him” Daichi whispers in the background)
  • when they go on shows, everyone always makes him do the S-line dance 
  • then TanaNoya get all excited and go up to try and do it too 
  • which means Hinata must join and drag Kags with him so they’re all just up there like

Originally posted by jungsooflavored

  • Daichi has lost all semblance of control 
  • then Suga makes him do it too and all the others stop because he gets Too Into It with Suga 
  • it’s embarrassing omg arent you guys supposed to be our leaders
  • Speaking of which, the level of skinship skill amongst the group is WILDLY VARIED
  • DaiSuga are actual cavities, of course, they always sit together, they play with each other’s fingers absentmindedly, they always do the hand-hearts and arm-hearts and pocky challenge
  • TanAsaNoya are not much better, Asahi just has these two h a n g i n g off him always and he’s so bashful about it, but they will fight for him 
  • even as Noya scolds him for not showing enough charisma while he sadly wilts
  • TsukkiYama are generally pretty chill about their skinship, but that makes it all the rarer
  • it’s like finding a precious gem whenever Tsukki begrudgingly does heart arms or pulls on Yamaguchi’s cheeks if Yama smiles too much during a serious performance/video
  • Being a KageHina fan is suffering
  • Hinata has to pull teeth to get Kageyama to skinship with him, because Kageyama is like a petulant pre-teen being asked to give grandma a kiss
  • he almost pushed Hinata offstage once when Hinata tried to hug him
  • (He didn’t mean to, Hinata just startled him. He felt really bad about it after.)
  • Hinata maintains that Kageyama is actually great at skinship, he just can’t do it when other people are watching
  • then what is the point, you may ask, but nobody has forgotten that one time they were caught on camera sharing ice cream with Kageyama feeding him
  • Kageyama has yet to live it down
  • (mainly because Hinata won’t let him)
  • Also sometimes in long practices, Kags will just put his chin on top of Hinata’s head and drape his arms over his shoulders like a tired squid 
  • Ennoshita refuses to skinship with anyone.
  • He also has his own radio show! He’s actually a great host, and his show is really interesting
  • But it’s also periodically CRASHED by TanaNoya who will not leave him alone
  • save him