I'm not leaving (Jeff Atkins x Reader)
Summary: You’re Jeff’s tutor and you’re in love with him. However, you could never bring yourself to tell him that, because you’re really insecure and going through severe depression and that makes you feel like you’re not good enough for him.
* there’s a part of the conversation that is a quote of some lines from 13 reasons why. I’m adding them because they’re lovely *
* nobody dies because Jeff Atkins deserved better, thanks *
You and Jeff were sitting on his room’s floor, surrounded by books, pens, markers and stuff like that. His English test was due to the next day and, since you were his tutor, you were there to help make sure he was ready for it. However, Jeff just got more and more desperate by the minute. He was complaining about how much he hated school and wishing he could just focus on baseball, but you weren’t paying attention. Your mind was far away.
You were thinking about how much you loved Jeff and how perfect he was. He was kind, gentle, handsome… You, on the other side, were a loser. You had eating problems, trust issues, depression, you weren’t a god damn cheerleader and you felt like you were as ugly as a person could possibly be. Atkins could never feel the same way about you.
“Are you even listening?” Jeff interrupted your thoughts, sounding a bit hurt by your lack of interest on whatever was it that he was saying.
“I’m sorry” you whispered, and leaned your head on the wall behind you. Your eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, and your breath started to get heavier and heavier. A warm hand touched your shoulder, causing butterflies on your stomach, but you pretended not to notice.
“Hey, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Jeff asked, with his charming voice.
“Nothing” you lied. “Can we call it a day?”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong”
“Everything is fine, Jeff, leave it alone” you said, and started to pick up your books from the floor. You could feel his stare, but you ignored it. Gently, he grabbed your hands and stopped you.
“Please, y/n. You’re making me worry. And you know what happens if you get a guy worried a day before his English test and a week before his major baseball game? That’s right. He blows everything up” he laughed a little, and your heart skipped a beat.
“Please, don’t do this. We both know you don’t care about me” you freed yourself from his hands and quickly got up. He looked at you like you slapped him on the face or something.
“Excuse me?” Jeff sounded extremely offended and hurt.
“Come on” you started, exasperated. “You’re a jock, I’m a nerd…ish. We get along just fine, but that’s it. You could never understand me or the shit that goes on inside my head, so why bother trying?”
“You don’t know that” he said, and you rolled your eyes. You reached for the door, but Jeff blocked the way with his body. “Y/n, just sit down, explain it to me. You don’t have to go. I promise to try my best to understand”
“You don’t have to”
“But I want to!” he looked a little upset. Not in a bad way, just kind of desperate to make you stay. You felt your eyes burn with tears and looked away. Jeff cupped your face with his hands and made you look at him. “Please, you’re breaking my heart. It might seem that way for you, but you’re not just a tutor for me. I care about you, I really do”
The tears started to roll over your face, and Jeff whipped them away with his fingers.
“You say that now. When I tell you everything, when I pour my heart out, you’ll freak out. You’ll leave”
“I love you, y/n. I am not leaving. Not now, not ever” Your eyes widened when you heard his words.
“You what?” you whispered, almost too low for him to hear.
“I love you. Even more than I love baseball” he repeated, with a sad smile. “I’m sorry if that’s too much or too soon, but I really do. We have known each other for a long time now, and you’re an amazing girl. I find your dimples adorable, your smile, your voice, your mermaid hair” you laughed softly, but he didn’t notice. “Open up to me, even if you don’t feel the same. Just let me help you”
You looked into his blue lovely eyes, and saw how frustrated he was. It suddenly hit you that he really thought you didn’t love him back.
“I love you too” you said. His jaw dropped and, after a few seconds, he opened the most beautiful smile. You felt his lips crashing into yours, and his hands pulled you closer by your waist. Everything was okay.