i'm finding it harder to smile

anonymous asked:

Sam uses Dean's phone and finds a whole photo album titled 'Cas' which contains photos of Cas. Most of them were taken without Cas knowing. He scrolls through many pictures and comes across a video. It's of them sitting on Dean's bed with Dean saying "who are you?" and Cas replying "I'm Castiel Winchester". Sam smiles at this. He smiles even harder when he sees that Dean's home screen is a picture of the three of them, Cas in the middle, all smiling; that's his favourite photo.

Originally posted by gurl

This is beautiful, anon. Thank you.

I gotta admit, I’m such a sucker for stories where Clint and Phil fall in love when Clint gets caught in a building collapse or something (I made a cave collapse around him once) and then gets pulled out by his teammates and there’s lots of hand-wringing at the hospital but he’s okay and Phil is the one who worries the most, and when Clint wakes up and sees Phil sitting by his bedside all exhausted with worry he just falls right then and there in love.

I gotta admit, I’m such a sucker for stories where Clint helps Bucky rejoin the world and they fall in love over video games and pizza and angry shooting range sessions.

I gotta admit, I’m such a sucker for stories where Clint and Bruce are hanging out saying nothing to each other for months until they both realize they love hanging out and being quiet with each other and they start playing chess together or fixing each other tea and one day they both realize that they’re in love with each other because they can be quiet and still feel loved.

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Natasha fall in love over the span of YEARS and then realize that it’s safe to be in love with each other, that the world is not going to kill them dead for allowing themselves this one thing.

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Tony fall in love over late nights in Tony’s lab listening to too loud rock classics and trying to one-up each other in their various skill-sets (”So what you just invented a new element - look what I can do with a dart”).

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Laura fall in love over long nights in their favorite diner, drinking coffee and laughing and reassuring each other that they both deserve to fall in love despite what the world has told them.

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Maria Hill fall in love over the course of SHIELD ops and safe houses and pulling each other out of fires and then collapsing on her office couch and curling up together to remind each other that even with their crazy SHIELD life they can carve out a chance to love each other.

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Steve fall in love over long motorcycle rides in the middle of the night, where Clint can wrap his arms around Steve’s waist and feel safe. Where Steve can confess to be overwhelmed in this new, modern world and know that Clint will show him the way and not make him feel like an idiot (except when he’s joking and trying to make Steve smile again).

I gotta admit, I love stories where Clint and Sam fall in love over long walks in Central Park and watching kids play on the rocks. Where they drink coffee and reassure each other that losing people doesn’t mean they can’t find love, and playing laser tag with someone who will laugh louder and harder than you might mean true love.

I gotta admit, I just really like Clint Barton falling in love.

alec + pictures of people he loves

@intangibel

candid | malec | 450 words

It starts out innocent enough. Magnus only picks up the phone because it flashes Isabelle’s name while Alec is in the shower, and he doesn’t imagine his boyfriend will mind him talking to his sister for a moment in his absence.

He has a brief but delightful conversation with Isabelle and promises her that he will have her brother call her back later. He doesn’t mean to do anything more than that, honestly. But as he’s clicking off the call, the background image on Alec’s phone catches his eye.

It’s a candid of him that he doesn’t remember being taken. He’s curled up in his favorite armchair in the study, reading something, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration. It’s certainly not the most flattering image of himself he’s ever seen, and Magnus can’t help but frown slightly at the thought of Alexander looking at it so often.

Without thinking, he finds himself clicking into Alec’s photo gallery, intending to select a different photo. It doesn’t occur to him in the moment that looking through Alec’s photos is probably crossing a line that he shouldn’t be crossing. He just assumes there must be at least one better photo of him buried in there somewhere.

There is, in fact. There are dozens of them. His own face stares up at him from the screen over and over, some candid like the background photo and others he remembers taking, hamming it up for effect. They’re not all of him, of course. There are lots of photos of Alec’s siblings as well – Isabelle, Jace, and Max – especially the farther down in the folder he goes.

He feels like he scrolls for hours. The folder of pictures seems endless. Here’s one of Isabelle laughing, head tossed back. Jace and Max mid-training session. Himself posing for a snap with an annoyed looking Chairman Meow.

The water shuts off in the bathroom and Magnus nearly drops the phone, the realization of what he’s been doing hitting him suddenly. He quickly exits the gallery to hide the evidence, but before he can put the phone back on the table, he notices that the background has changed. Now it’s the photo he’d seen of Isabelle laughing.

Magnus manages to set the phone back down on the table just as Alec comes into the room, towel slung low on his hips.

He must feel Magnus’s eyes on him because he blushes slightly and asks, “what?”

Magnus shakes his head, finding himself at a loss for words. Just when he thinks he couldn’t fall for his Alexander any harder, he has to find little things like this.

“Nothing,” he tells Alec, smiling softly. He gestures at the phone. “Your sister called.”

Why San Junipero is SO important
  • I just rewatched San Junipero and I thought I was just going to look back at some of my favorite scenes, but I couldn't help myself. I loved that episode so much. I felt like Kelly represented my physical appearance and my sexuality so well(even though I'm biromantic and she is bisexual). And then my personality was a mix between Yorkie and Kelly but I related to these characters so much and I've never seen a bi wlw on tv and she honestly changed my life. Her sexuality is never erased and she actually gets to experience a happy life with a guy for 49 years and then she meets Yorkie in San Junipero and she doesn't want to fall in love but she does and wow it's such a beautiful love story. I have cried so much for this one hour episode that has changed me so much because representation matters so much and I just got to see myself on tv for the first time where I wasn't killed by a stray bullet. Every time I get attached to a wlw or a black woman they die brutally by a stray bullet and it's devestating. I have felt that pain way too much and to get this happy ending from this show that rarely ever has a happy ending just makes me smile so wide and also sad because other shows will make excuses for killing off all their poc or wlw and only leaving the straight white males invincible. I've seen it happen so so many times. It's hard to find tv where I feel represented for race or for sexuality. It's even harder to find a happy ending and an interracial couple on top of all that is nearly impossible. This episode has made me happier than any show this year because it doesn't end tragically and I didn't have to cry myself to sleep. I'm never going to get over this episode that was so raw and amazing. Kelly's relationship with her husband is never invalidated and she gets to be happy with Yorkie. And the whole episode isn't even just fluff it has all these deep conversations about life and it's just amazing. I understood these characters so much and I love them to pieces and they get to live together forever.
Holy Ghost lyric sentence starters
  • "He's been haunting my dreams at night."
  • "Fucked for the ride home if I can't find two bills to rub together before."
  • "I always wonder if you're smiling at us or if you're looking away."
  • "I'm stuck here, too."
  • "What's the point of staying awake?"
  • "I am weak and I am stubborn."
  • "This is all I have right now."
  • "I want to make something good, I want to make something better."
  • "Where I want to be still seems a thousand miles away."
  • "Pretending we feel safe right here gets harder every day."
  • "You ate the words you always used to say."
  • "There will be no more fucking around today."
  • "Drunk and worthless, spewing bullshit all across the stage."
  • "I don't believe you, you're all the same."
  • "All this booze is useless."
  • "Days like this I miss listening to records and making coffee together."
  • "I tried sleeping in our bed without you last night; that didn't work at all, 'cause I couldn't sleep."
  • "You hold my hand, you hold your liquor."
  • "Look me in the eyes and act like I don't know how shame works."
  • "She's acting like she knows what's up."
  • "I won’t answer when they call."
  • "Drank a lot and danced to The Cure."
  • "Holding on for dear life to the frayed edge of a feeling we misplaced years ago."
  • "We should really get back home."
  • "Swinging open doors I swore I’d shut."
  • "Misplaced gazes, things we still deny to selves and hesitate to talk about."
  • "Are you hiding or have I abandoned you?"
  • "You tell me if I'm wrong, but you know I'm right."
  • "I know it can't be in my head."
  • "I can’t help thinking about you this whole ride home."
  • "Forever waiting for you."
  • "Ever-aching 'cause I’m longing for when I’ll be coming back to you."
  • "I’m not the same as I was, but that’s cool, whatever."
  • "With you, I’m safe, intact and hopeful."
  • "We’ll make it together."
  • "Did you ever love me?"
  • "Is this past or present?"
  • "You think we can make it."
  • "I wish I felt the same way I did then."
  • "Homesick, just waiting to return to you and your bed."
  • "It's not like me to forgive and move on."
  • "Tell me this is forever."
  • "Now that I’m older I’ve seen what I’ve been; ruthless, ungrateful."
  • "I don’t wanna wait for anyone."
  • "It’s not about me this time - there I go lying again."
  • "I don’t know what I’m doing anymore."
  • "Is it possible I’m overthinking this?"
  • "I'm a waste of time and space."
  • "I don't know how I got here."
  • "Get lost."
  • "I hate everything."
  • "I can feel the need to change me from the inside."
  • "I can't let anyone know just yet."
  • "If it's all the same, it's time to confront this face to face."
  • "I'll be with you the whole way."
  • "It'll take time, that's fact."
  • "I'm not just another face, I'm not just another name."
  • "Even if you can't see it now, we're proud of what's to come, and you."

Gold Teeth and Fangs (Monsters Redux)the Furies

When the subtle tension between the gods and the monsters turn into clashes on the streets, they’re ready for battle. Their job hasn’t changed all that much, after all. They’ve always been dispensers of justice when the more legal channels fail. The news may label them ‘terrorists’, but the news only repeats what the gods tell it to, and they know the truth of it. Terrorists go after anyone and everyone they can; they have very specific targets in mind. A corrupt demigod CEO gets a bullet through the window of their highrise; a gang of satyrs that overstepped their boundaries get baseball bats and brass knuckles in a dark alleyway; a hero who takes it upon himself to rid the streets of ‘filth’ finds that it’s harder to Stand His Ground when his car explodes with him inside it. They despised the gods for forcing them to do their dirty work, and they take a vicious sort of pleasure in this; smiling wicked smiles and doing shots over their newest plans in a booth at the Siren’s Den. They’re finally on the right side, and so what if they go a little overboard sometimes? The fire burns so prettily, and the retribution warms their cheeks.

2

429 /  Baozi Edits

Dear Junmyeon,

Thank you for being the angelic leader who watches over the 10 kids. You’ve trained for so long, longer than almost everyone in EXO, to be where you are today. And I’m so happy that your hard work has paid off.

You’re ChenYeol’s dance teacher. You’re our angel-faced leader. You’re EXO’s Joonma. You’re our guardian. And we all love you.

Things must be tough now, but know that we’re behind you, 100%. If you ever find yourself in need of support, we’ll be here to provide it.

Junmyeon, you’re so strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be. To endure so much, yet come out smiling and fighting harder than ever to bring your family of 12 to the ultimate goal. Fighting~

calum would hate the way you make him feel and not because he hated you in anyway, no, in fact it was the complete opposite and that terrified him because he’s never felt this way before and he didn’t know what to do about it. he didn’t know how it was possible for him to be able to stare at you for hours as he admired the way your hair framed your face and the way your eyes lit up as you laughed at one of his cheesy jokes that he spent way too much time trying to find just so he could see you smile, he didn’t know how you managed to consume every single thought that popped into his head, he didn’t know how you managed to brighten up his day with just your presence, and he really didn’t know how you managed to make him fall in love with you but goddammit you couldn’t have made him fall any harder

anonymous asked:

I'm asking you this because you seem like the kind of guy who can understand. A few weeks ago I started having panic attacks. All about the same phobia, fear of dying and fear of getting old. I'm just so scared losing everyone around me. I'm so scared to be alone and I don't know what to do. I'm fine during the day most times, but at night I freak out. I'm about to be a senior this coming school year, it just feels like everything's going by to fast. And I'm so scared. Advice?

Don’t fear! Everyone feels that way! ESPECIALLY during senior year! There’s so many things coming at you from so many directions! Taking one day at a time plus finding and surrounding yourself in happiness also helps! Death is something we always tried to avoid and to be honest why should you bring it up , we all know it’s there but you weren’t put on the earth to die but to Live and to learn, smile,cry, take chances and have defeats and get yourself up and live harder! take note of all the special moments in your life and I promise you will be laughing in the face of death! “Ha death, you silly silly thing you” lol

I hope that helps!


-Leo😊✨

sci-fi-cyber-spacecake-deactiva  asked:

Really happy i stumbled across your blog :) I'm mixed Romany and Irish traveller/ gypsy in heritage but appear very white :/ Have always been naturally attracted to woc by default though being an alternative i find makes bridging that awkward social gap all the harder i have found :[ As sadly the whole scene i'm into doesn't seem to attract many poc .. which in itself is a damn shame too. Any way just wanted to express my appreciation for your tumblr :) really did make me smile.

Thank you very much :D And I’m sure some of my followers feel the same way you do about the alternative scene not having many POC. So you’re not alone. Hopefully things become more and more diverse in the future :)