i'm extremely tired so this is just yelling but i don't actually care

ducavalentinos  asked:

Hi! there's a meta going around talking about Cersei and motherhood and such. and it basically says that she is a terrible mother and does not love her children. but at the same time it implies Jaime is a good father lol now it's clear Cersei is not mother of the year. she does love herself and power above all else. but to me it's unfair to say she doesn't love her children just bc she doesn't show maternal love in a way we usually expect.

Hi, love :)

 I have been saying that Cersei is a multifaceted, contradictory, complex, interesting character who happens to be very difficult to understand since the first day I got into this blighted website so I am not gonna repeat it again. Everybody here knows she’s my favourite character in existence and I’ve always defended her I love her more than I love most real people. So now that I’ve stated the obvious let’s begin:

1) Cersei is not a good mother. As far as I know, being a bad mother and loving your children desperately are not mutually exclusive. In fact, it’s more common than it should be. To be honest, I’d not like Cersei to be my mum, if Cersei was a real person I’d want her as far away from me as possible. I’ve already talked about Joffrey and his behaviour and personality and even though I will always say that Cersei is not entirely to blame, she has played her part. She spoiled him, she never tried to stop him, she never wanted to acknowledge the fact that something was wrong with her first born and she tried to compensate Robert’s apathy and downright scorn by loving him too much. That’s a really fucked up combination, if you ask me. 

Tommen is a little boy who is sweet and innocent and totally not ready to rule. She is not particularly understanding, she is harsh and she neglects to give him the support and love he needs. 

2) She loves her children. Cersei wants power and her ambition is huge. She is not the best mother but she loves them and narcissism is not the only reason as some may suggest. She genuinely loves Joffrey despite everything he did and she never was the same person after his death. She is terrified about Tommen’s future, she sees enemies everywhere and she loses it when he starts coughing because she thinks he’s choking. She needed to be with Tommen so much, she was so worried that she performes the walk of atonement. She doesn’t want Myrcella to undergo the same experiences she had to live, she wants her daughter to be with her and not be a part of the game far away from her, she doesn’t want Myrcella to be a brood mare. She doesn’t know how to express it, she is not a perfect mother and she definitely does really fucked up things but she loves her children in her own broken way. Is that enough? Of course not. Love is not enough. 


  • Her father was, indeed, a shitty parent. Cersei doesn’t know how to express her love properly and she strongly believes that respect and fear come in an indivisible pack and we all know Tywin was Not Great™ at giving emotional support. She’s just putting into practice what she learned and please, don’t forget that she considers herself to be Tywin’s true heir so… let’s just put two and two together, shall we? daddy issues are definitely a Lannister trait.
  • Narcissism is KEY. I’ve been saying this for years so this is going to surprise no one but Cersei and Jaime’s relationship is based, in part, on narcissism. They mirror each other, they believe they’re a different gender version of each other and that’s just their fantasy. Cersei loves herself and she loves Jaime because he looks like her. They’re each other’s equals and that’s why they love each other. That’s toxic and fucked up and I LOVE it and it’s not that different when it comes to her children. She considers them extensions of herself and taking into account the role of women in Westeros, she is very much aware of the fact that they’re the only way she has to obtain power for herself. Cersei is not only a mother. She wants power and she has a great ambition. She is the rightful heir and she was robbed of her rights again and again just because she doesn’t have a penis and she’s angry about that and she uses every tool in order to have power. Joffrey was her key to the iron throne and now it’s Tommen’s turn. She wants to rule through them since she’s unable to do it herself thanks to some stupid rules. She’s angry and rightfuly so but still that’s not the best way to be a parent.
  • Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen are Jaime’s children too. She also loves them because of that. She was able to decide over her body, she made a choice and decided who was gonna be the father and she’s proud of that. It’s a huge “fuck you Robert” and you cannot blame her for that. It is also another proof of how much she loves Jaime AND how proud she is of her heritage. They’re 100% Lannister material and that makes her love them even more.
  • SHE IS HURTING. Especially after Joffrey’s death she is not herself anymore. She’s scared and angry and she feels helpless while the prophecy starts to loom over her. She is unhinged and she considers everyone an enemy so that’s why she tries to toughten Tommen up. She remembers Joffrey and she idealizes him and wishes Tommen was a little bit more like him. She really believes that making her son harder and crueller is gonna keep him away from danger, she believes he will be able to defend himself. She truly believes she’s doing the right thing.

She is not perfect. WE KNOW IT. She may not be the best mother out there but she fiercely loves her children. She has many reasons because there are many ways of reading her chapters and all of those reasons can be taken into account simultaneously and everything is a mess because, let’s be real, we’re talking about Cersei Lannister here.I understand why she does what she does but she’s not a good mother and her children are the victims here. Does this mean I don’t like her? Hell, I love her. I see this and I love her. I enjoy this character more than any other but she’s extremely problematic and every single relationship she has is toxic as fuck. I’ve always known that and it doesn’t keep me from loving her so I actually do not see the problem. I do not understand the controversy here. 

And now…

4) Saint Jaime. This won’t take long, I promise.

This is like the story of a divorce. One parent stays with the children and they have to raise them and take care of them and deal with them everyday and fix their messes. They have to make decisions and be worried about the kids every single fucking day of their life because that’s their fucking responsability. They may suck at it but they’re there and they try. They make mistakes but they’re the ones who are there at night when the children catch a cold and they’re running a fever. Meanwhile the other half of the couple is living the dream most of the time and when they sporadically visit the children everything is smiles and sunshine because they only have to put up with the kids for a few hours a month. Eventually, the children decide that the parent who has to yell at them and ground them is not cool at all and they prefer the person who comes once a month and is all patience and joy because pretending for a couple of hours is not that hard.

The cool parent here is Jaime.

The children seem to be a huge part of the fandom.

I hope I’ve made myself clear but in any case I’m gonna try to be clearer: Jaime doesn’t give a flying fuck about parenting. Being nice once doesn’t make you a good dad just the same way that loving your children fiercely doesn’t make you a good mum.