the first time sana opens herself up to even it’s late at night and she has been crying for longer than she’d like to admit. she’s had the most awful day and nothing was able to cheer her up, the girls asked if something was wrong because they knew sana was not ok, but she just didn’t feel confortable talking about that with any of them, she never feels like she can talk about her feelings with someone, she has to be strong, has to be tough.
but tonight sana feels more hopelless than she has felt for a while.
even just texted her, with one of his ridiculous memes that he’s always sending everyone and she will never admit that some of them are actually funny. they’ve been best friends for a while now, it’s being so amazing hanging out with even and isak, sana has seen even at his best, but also at some pretty bad moments. she’s always trying to help both even and isak, always trying to be there for them.
the only thing even did was ask if she was ok, just a simple question and sana doesn’t know why but she has to talk with someone and, for some reason, she feels like she can talk to even about everything so she just started telling him. she tells him about how she feels afraid but will never let it show, how she always feels like an outsider in the country that’s supposed to be her home, how she is always trying to prove herself, prove she’s strong, prove she knows how to deal with everything, prove she does not care about the looks she receives from people on the street, how she’s tired of pretending everything is fine when she actually has a lot of struggles.
sana just tells even about everything and when she finishes it, it’s like she can finally breath pure air, like a huge and heavy stone was lifted from her back, and as she awaits for an answer she doesn’t allow herself to feel regret. so even responds. and sana is crying harder now. she’s crying because even is telling her things she didn’t expect to hear from anyone. “You don’t have to be strong all the time” he says, “You are allowed to be weak and you don’t have to hide it. You are allowed to be human.” and sana cries because deeply in herself she knows all that, but no one ever said this to her. “You are the smartest, greatest, strongest girl I’ve ever met and I’m so sorry that you feel like this” even’s words are sweet, sana thinks he’s the sweetest. “I know what it’s like to be in a stereotype, but I’m not gonna pretend I know what you go through, because I don’t.” and then she cries even harder: “But I know what it’s like to feel alone, to feel like you have to deal with everything by yourself because it is your own problem and your own battle, but let me tell you something: you are not alone, Sana. Me and Isak and the girls and all your friends, we care so much about you, we just want to see you happy. And we are here for you, we are by your side, supporting you. Always. You’re only a human ok? And you are never alone. Please, don’t forget that.” and sana is still crying but she feels so much better. you’re not alone. she thinks about even’s words and how nice he is and she feels so much better now. things aren’t always gonna be ok, but she’s not alone –she repeats to herself– she is not alone.
♢ Otabek had friend crush on Yuri for years before he
found the courage to talk to him.
♢ Yuri have also noticed Otabek before and secretly thought he
♢ After Otabek finally spoke to Yuri, they basically became
besties the very same day.
♢ Otabek meeting Yuri’s cat was a big deal for Yuri. The cat
instantly took a liking to him.
♢ They have been friends for over 2 years before they started
♢ They both kind of knew after only a few months of friendship
that they would eventually become something more, but they didn’t
rush. Yuri didn’t really feel ready for it and Otabek was not
comfortable with dating someone so young, so they waited. They’ve
never talked about it, but either of them minded.
♢ It all started after their first kiss. Which was very much unplanned and just kind of happened. They’ve been hanging out at
Yuri’s apartment late in the evening, watching some action movie,
both dead tired after all day of training. Yuri was kind of lying on
Otabek’s shoulder, which wasn’t unusual for them at all, but for
some reason, it was different that day. Yuri was about to fall asleep
when Otabek hugged him tighter and nuzzled his hair. They both looked
at each other and somehow knew.
♢ The kiss was unhurried and chaste and ended with Yuri yawning.
They both laughed at it and decided it’s time to go sleep. They
fell asleep in each other’s arms that night.
♢ They haven’t talked about it the next morning. There was no need
♢ First time they called each other boyfriends was when they
were hanging out with other skaters before a competition. They
weren’t really doing anything special like kissing or even holding
hands, but everyone knew. Of course, JJ just had to tease them “Oh
look at our lovebirds. What are you now, boyfriends?” Yuri just
grabbed Otabek’s hand and yelled “We are, jackass!”
♢ Them meeting Viktor and Yuuri as a pair was basically like
meeting Yuri’s parents.
♢ Speaking about Yuri’s family, his grandfather knows. Yuri
haven’t told him yet, but he knows his grandson too well. He came
to Otabek before a competition once and told him “You look like a
good kid and I can see you make my Yurochka happy. Please, be good to
him. He may look tough, but he has a gentle soul.” He also asked
him to not tell Yuri he knows, because he wants to him tell himself when
he is ready. Otabek was really touched (he may cry inside… in a manly way) and promised he won’t hurt him or
tell him anything.
♢ They are not fans of PDA. Otabek is very private person and
Yuri spends too much time around Viktor and Yuuri to know how
annoying it is to other people. Because of this, people usually assume
they are just best friends. They don’t mind.
♢ They are the fashion boyfriends™.
♢ Their relationship is long-distanced because of their
professions, but except them constantly missing each other, it’s
not such a problem for them. For example, neither of them is a
jealous, so they never fought for of hanging out with other male
skaters. They completely trust each other.
♢ Otabek was insistent about waiting for Yuri’s 18th birthday
with sex. No matter how much Yuri yelled at him because of it.
♢ When Otabek retired, he moved to Russia for Yuri and became
♢ They got engaged the next year after that. It was Otabek who
proposed and unlike their first kiss, it was planned. Otabek was so
nervous about it he couldn’t sleep for weeks.
♢ Yuri said yes. Also, he cried a little, which he’d never admit.
[Liam is a mess, he fucked up big time and he just wanted to run away until he get it sorted and could face the world again, but Louis and Harry have other plans.]
Chapter 1 - like it’s no point hopin’ at all (1.110 words)
It’s been a while since he felt something, besides the numbness. He couldn’t recognize the feeling at first, it seems like forever since his body responded anyway.
Liam opened his eyes. A view streams of light pierced through the heavy curtains. He is at home, well at that place he calls home a few, what, weeks now.
“Fuck!” , he thought, “Get your shit together!”
He took a deep breath, blinking as he turned on the lights in the bedroom.
“Hungry, I’m hungry. That’s what I’m feeling. I haven’t eaten in sometime.” Another deep breath.
“Ok, I have to get some things done. I can’t do this forever.”
With a deep and heavy sigh he is turning onto his belly and let the tears just come as they pleases them. He stopped fighting them a long time ago.
“One last time to cry” he promised himself and then I will get up and get some food in my body.
After he stopped crying he wipes the last tears from his cheeks and grabbed one of the used tissues that were all over his bed and floor. He looked around and was grossed out by his bed, his cloths and the air. “Fuck this shit!”
He climbed out of his bed and opened the curtains. The sun was bright and after he got used to it he turned around and looked at his mess.
Mentally starting to make a to do list!
1. Shower and brush teeth
2. Put on some fresh and clean clothes
3. Eat something, well find something to eat at first or order something
4. Clean the bedroom
5. Change the covers of the bed
6. Throw all the dirty clothes in the washing machine
7. Go shopping
8. Maybe look at the time first
Yeah start with the time
He searched for his phone and charged it. It’s 11:32am, Tuesday, April the 21st. “Nearly a month ago, was it already a month?!?”
Liam turned to the door and went to the bathroom to wash away the last week. He spent an hour in there, enjoying the warmth and the water falling on his head and shoulders and running down his body.
After that he started to finish all the things on the list.
By half past 7 he finally let his body rest on the sofa.
His stomach crying again for more food. He’ll just order a pizza. Searching his pockets for the phone he wrinkled his forehead in confusion before he remembered that he left it in the bedroom to charge.
Going upstairs his tummy growled.
“Patience, I feel you. Since when did I start to talk to myself!?! Guess we all know when! Fuck him!” A tear trying to fight his way out and down his face but he just blinked angrily.
“NO, I’m done with crying over him!” He mumbled.
Back on the sofa he grabbed the remote and let the noise give the room some background sound. He watched the phone in his hands as he tried to remember what he wanted to do. As it started ringing. Nearly dropping it to the floor he fetched it midair.
Sliding with his thumb to the left he answered the call.
“Liam! Liam fucking Payne!!” Louis screamed furious.
“Calm down Tommo, or I’ll end the call!”, was all he answered.
In the distance Harry said something. The connection cracks some mumbling and after a few seconds Louis obviously putting his hands from the mic on his phone and continues more clam.
“Where are you? Where have you been? We are worried sick and nobody knows where you are.”
“Sorry mate! I…… aaa, ….. you know. Well,…”
“What Liam! I don’t get it? Are you ok? I mean, I know you aren’t, sorry!”
“It’s ok, like, you know, I’m fine” Liam trying to sound more cheerful.
“No, you aren’t! Where are you? We are coming over!” Louis sounded determined.
“What!! No, fuck lou please. I don’t, I…. I’m fine. Ok”
“No, you aren’t, you vanished into thin air for nearly a month, nobody can find you. You are clearly not ok. So either you start talking or we will let this go viral. Your choice! So?”
“Fuck! What! Why! Just, I just needed some time off. Ok. Don’t be mad,… wait, who is we?”
“We as we, the band! You remember. Harry, Niall and Zayn?”
“Sure I do, we are on a break tho, like we, we all got things and just, you know, I just need some time off and think about things and…..”
Louis interrupting him “still waiting what you choose tho! I don’t care about what you need or not right now. Either we come and talk this through or we let the fans know you gone missing, simple as that. So choose!”
“Fuck, Louis! Ok. I’m in Aberdeenshire!”
Silence, Liam worried that the connection broke and looked at his phone.
“Lou? Are you still there? Can you hear me?”
“Of course I can, and where the fuck is Aberdeenshire? And what are you doing there?”
“I bought a farm, it’s in Scotland, I needed some space and distance!” Liam said, “it’s the Whitehills Farm.”
“Ok, good, we are on our way, see you soon!”
“WAIT! LOU!” Liam shouted, “what to do mean with we?”
“Me and Harold, of coursssssse, ahhh, fuck that hurst babe!”
“Ahh ok, see you then, but you guys don’t have to, I mean, come and visit, yeah, I’m fine.” But Louis didn’t hear it anyway and Liam just sat there in shock.
“Why are they coming, they will figure the shit out and then they kick me out of the band. Fuck, ok, keep calm. You can do it. You did it for years, why should it be different now? Maybe bc you fucking kissed him and all he did was laugh it off and then he was gone, not answering my calls or texts. Ignoring me and having a girlfriend now bc he is fucking Zayn and everybody loves him, shit. Fuck! No, not again. This ends now. Move on, he clearly has!”
And as he let the pics of Zayn and Gigi appear behind his eyes he started crying again.
All he can think of is that he is broken and nobody will ever be able to mend him.
the baftas are just beginning, atl bout to drop a new single and announce an album AND there’s gonna be at least 4 malec kisses in tomorrow’s episode my fandoms are bleSSING ME LOOK AT THIS NOURISHMENT I FEEL SO FULL GOD DAMN
Malec AU where Magnus is internet famous dancer who shares his wild life and his magnificent himself through instagram and youtube videos on his channel. Alec studies english language and literature at university, wears only black and is the strong, silent type. One day, they meet through Izzy who is Magnus’ fan #1. Magnus immediately falls in love with that tall dark and handsome man with beautiful smile and snarky comments. Alec is not impressed but in fact is impressed a lot and only playing hard to get. But as everyone knows, Magnus Bane loves a challenge.