i'm doubting myself now

  • Self-doubt: This is 50,000 words long and you're not even halfway into the plot
  • Me: It's just a first draft
  • Self-doubt: None of this makes sense
  • Me: First draft
  • Self-doubt: You're just making things worse by adding to it. It looks like a trash mountain.
  • Me: FIRST DRAFT
  • Self-doubt: And do you seriously think this plot is gonna work? Like what is going on here--
  • Me: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFT.

I finallly finish one piece I’ve been working on!

First class of my Masters program starts tomorrow! First off, it feels weird going back to school, and I am a bit nervous about it. 

But I feel way better after essentially hand holding two of my fellow classmates who are completely oblivious about shit. So, I won’t be the dumbest person in class, that’s the good news. Wish me luck!

First Date

               “Jane – ready to go? I thought we could maybe stop at that French restaurant over on Worth.”

                “Oh, um…” Jane’s gazed dropped as she stared at the floor, feeling the blush spreading across her face. “You mean, like a date?”

                Kurt laughed, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her closer to him. “Yes, Jane, a date. Dinner, maybe afterwards we could take a walk that doesn’t involve chasing down suspects, no paperwork to fill out. That sort of thing.”

                Jane couldn’t help but laugh, rolling her eyes at Kurt. With a small smile, she said, “It’s just that… I’m not very good at … dating.” Not that she had much experience, anyway. But then again, the last time she’d tried to date she’d run off just ten minutes in. Not to mention the kidnapping. It wasn’t that she thought that would happen with Kurt, but she couldn’t stop the knot from forming in the stomach at the thought. Dating seemed… a little daunting.

                “It’s not like it’s our first date,” Kurt said simply, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.

                Jane looked up, confused. “What?”

                “Let’s see, we’ve known each other for a year, we’ve slept together…” he grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. “And we love each other. That’s at least 10th date territory, more like… I don’t know, 50th date or something.”

                “Well… when you put it like that… maybe dinner would be nice,” she smiled widely. She stepped closer to Kurt until there was no space between them, pressing a kiss to their still intertwined hands. “Tonight, you said?”

—————————————————————————————————-

Trying to write little ficlets instead of full stories. Hoping maybe that will spark a groove instead of the mostly nothingness and frustration that’s been happening.

Also, @gypsyscarfwoman doesn’t know it, but she is probably the only reason this story exists, so thanks for that.

anonymous asked:

What should i do if my sister just told me that "I'm not trans enough" "It's not hard to figure out you're only faking dysphoria and being trans cause it's cool and you're being influenced". Especially when she also attacked me before and after said sentences, said i don't act/look like i have dysphoria even though I've researched it for months, watched tonnes of videos on people saying their experiences and i felt like i'm similar to them? Especially now that I'm doubting myself even more.

Lee says:

Other people can’t tell you what your gender is! You are the only one who knows how you feel. Your sister can say you’re not trans enough, but she has no way of knowing that, and it means nothing. Also, you don’t need dysphoria to be trans, so yeah, I’d really just ignore whatever she says- she’s not some omnipotent deity who can see into your head, and she isn’t a trans expert, she’s just a gatekeeping sister. If you know you’re trans then you’re trans, nobody can take that identity away from you.

Helpful links:

anonymous asked:

I've always wanted to write since I was a teenager. There are so many ideas in my head but I can't put them together into words. Now, I'm doubting myself if writing is really for me. But, I want to write. You know what, I'm not giving up this time. Ha! I know, I'm weird and crazy. I'm gonna tell a story... for myself. If people would love it like how they love yours then it's gonna be amazing. I'm SOOO jealous of your writing. You're a one badass writer.

If you want to write, then writing is for you. Go go go. Do the thing. Write the words. And here are some puppies for motivation!

Originally posted by a-night-in-wonderland

anonymous asked:

So. I'm Christian and pansexual. I was always okay with this, until I stumbled across a couple of blogs on here in the musicals fandom, who keep saying you're basically not Christian if you're not heterosexual and like...I just feel really sad? I always figured I was loved no matter what but now I'm heavily doubting myself, and I want to cry. I don't know what your beliefs are (or your sexuality for that matter) but would you care if I was pansexual?

You gotta be really careful out in the musical fandom, hun. I’m not going to name names, but there are some really toxic blogs like that out there.
But don’t let others tell you how to feel. They’re not you, they’re not living your life, and they can be hellishly close-minded.
I believe that if there is indeed a god out there, he loves all of his creations. Every. Single. One.
Not just the straights.
And so you know, I’m pan as well, and I consider myself agnostic for the most part.
You are beautiful for being you, love.

anonymous asked:

my friend gave me shit because even though i identify as male biologically i have a female fursona, which i thought wasn't a problem. is it? i mean i assumed it was sort of a "self-expression" sort of thing but now i'm starting to doubt myself, so i decided that asking people i've literally never met were a good place to start

Tell your friend to piss off because it literally does not matter to anyone else what you want to do with your fursona or not

anonymous asked:

hi, i'm agender and i experience dysphoria, but when my partner calls me things like their girlfriend or pet names like "princess" or "babygirl" or "doll" i'm completely okay with it and i like those terms so now i'm afraid i'm faking it and doubting myself a lot

Hi! It’s super okay to like some gendered words and not others!! It doesn’t make your gender any less real and valid!!

anonymous asked:

Hiii! I'm a little who's also into ddlg and bdsm. Lately I've had so many other Little's call me gross or say I'm not a little bc I'm sexual. I feel being sexual while in those spaces really help my trauma though because I was so young when it all happen that this way I feel I have more control. Idk I guess I'm asking if it really is wrong that I'm a little who's sexual and has a Daddy that is more than a caregiver. I didn't see anything wrong with it but now I'm really doubting myself 🙁

It’s not for everyone, not everyone else doesn’t matters. What helps YOU cope is most important. Your life, your coping, your rules. Don’t let other people dictate what does it doesn’t make a little. There’s no right or wrong way to be a little. Do what works for you.

anonymous asked:

I can't deal. What is even real anymore? How much of the boys are just their act? I used to believe in Larry without a doubt and now I'm doubting. And I hate myself for it. That interview with Zayn where he says fans pushed Lou and Harry to the point where they no longer touch in public, did we? (Not like you and me specifically but the larry fandom in general). I just, you seem so sure of Larry. Of the boys. And i wanna go back there, but how?

How, anon? From the start.

To their bodies being sanctuaries dedicated to each other

Through the body language, the innuendos, the fond, the living situation, the other boys’ reactions to their interactions, the jeaolusy, the “hating each other” narrative etc etc

Anyway, what’s important is that you don’t have to believe and you should never hate yourself for having doubts. Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. You feel what you feel.

anonymous asked:

someone is accusing us of being fake because they think my alters just developed and even though i tried explaining that i was numb to all emotion for years and suppressed all of my alters and left myself dissociating for an enormous, unhealthy amount of time, they don't believe its possible to suppress something like that. i had to you know? i kept getting beat for acting "wrong" and my guardian threatened to hire an exorcist. but now i'm doubting myself... it is possible right? are we fake?

That’s absolutely possible. Discovering you’ve been repressing DID for years is really, really common. Exactly what you describe- alters hiding themselves to escape abuse- is a good reason for alters remaining dormant for years. 

That doesn’t mean you’re faking! That’s pretty common. 

sounds good feels good: a summary
  • money: ain't got cash but I wish
  • hey everybody: still haven't got cash but let's pretend and party like we only dream
  • permanent vacation: "yeah I'm dropping out to be in a band and I'm tired of acting like I care what you think about that"
  • jet black heart: fuck this shitty thing called love but also I love you
  • catch fire: you're the one I want and you know it but can't do anything about it
  • safety pin: we're both not okay but we can fix each other... right?
  • waste the night: I can't do anything right yet I'm taking this shot in the dark
  • vapor: you're a drug to me and I can't tell if that's good or bad
  • castaway: the love is gone and it's the feeling of knowing how everything slowly fell apart but not wanting to believe it
  • the girl who cried wolf: a person unsure of a lot of things so it makes them seem like a liar but really they're kind of just scared
  • broken home: I know they aren't happy and it makes me unhappy so I just hope they realise
  • fly away: there's this overwhelming urge I have to keep moving and not let anything hold me back/down
  • invisible: if I were real they'd see me so why does it feel like I'm not really there?
  • airplanes: I spent forever doubting myself and now I think I've found my confidence
  • san fransisco: we had it and lost it and now we can only look back and reminisce
  • outer space: your love is gone but I can't let go and so I'll give you everything for just a small something of you
  • carry on: shit happens... it's not a lie that it gets better
Master of Doubt - ENFJ & INTP
  • INTP: ...I don't know how that makes me feel.
  • ENFJ1: What do you feel?
  • INTP: ...doubt?
  • ENFJ: Are you sure that's not just your permanent state?
  • INTP: ...
  • INTP: ...
  • INTP: ...
  • INTP: *eyes growing wide*
  • INTP: ...
  • INTP: ...
  • INTP: *slowly turns head towards ENFJ*
  • INTP: You have seen through me.
  • ENFJ1: ...
  • ENFJ1: ...
  • ENFJ1: *sighs*
  • ENFJ1: Are you doubting our friendship now?
  • INTP: I'm doubting everything. I'm doubting me doubting myself.
  • ENFJ1: *laughs* That seems ...stressful.

Sometimes it absolutely terrifies me what a powerful force love is. And I’m not even referring to all the murders that are committed by teenagers, and older, using it as their reason. I mean the fact that people are willing to give up so much of themselves because of it. How so many peoples change their whole ambition and direction in life just to stay with the person they love. How people change career paths and reconsider where and how they wanna live, despite having known what they wanted before. Maybe their whole lives. And then they just give up on all of it, because this one person walks into their life, and then it’s either one-sided self-sacrificing (unhealthy) or all about compromising (healthy relationship). Suddenly your life is not just about what you want, but what they want, too.

It just really, really terrifies me sometimes.

anonymous asked:

Hello! If you mind me asking, how did you come about to choosing your major? I'm currently in my second to last year of highschool, but we're being forced to now choose and I have no idea what I want to be. At first I was thinking a doctor, I've even told my parents. However I'm now doubting myself and trying to find something I really want to do, but I just don't know what. I've tried digging deep but I can't seem to find anything that id be happy doing for the rest of my life.

i think i was lucky enough to figure out at a very young age i wanted to go into a creative field. i taught myself how to do a bunch of things bc i was always either too scared to admit i didn’t know how to do something or i was impatient to learn from someone else.

however, even within the arts, i’ve gone back and forth between music, graphic design, broadcasting, visual communications, acting, fashion design, interior design, product design, photography, culinary arts, etc. tbh i’m still struggling bc i’ve never been that type of person who’s satisfied doing just ONE thing. and you know what, i think that’s totally okay.

your life isn’t made up of one big decision alone, it’s molded by multiple opportunities, risks, choices, failures, and accomplishments. even if you’re being forced to decide right now, you’re not going to be bound permanently. dreams, goals, and things that make you happy evolve constantly… so just do what feels right for you now. and if later on in life, you feel the need to make a change, then do so.