i'm dead and gone by e

  • Kuroo: I LOST KENMA
  • Bokuto: When did you last see him???
  • Kuroo: I mean he disappeared like yesterday saying something about hiS GAME AND NOW HES GONE
  • Bokuto: oh
  • Bokuto: do you think he's dead
  • Kuroo: KENMA D E A D ?
  • Kenma: wtf you just woke me up
  • Kuroo: *In tears* WHERE WERE YOU?
  • Kenma: u h
  • Kenma: I was sleeping under the couc-
  • Kuroo: *Hugs Kenma* DON'T LEAVE ME EVER AGAIN
  • Bokuto: g a y
  • Akaashi: Hey g-
  • Bokuto: H E Y AKAASHI
You remember how it do?
  • Mom: Come downstairs, daughter. There's Honey Comb!
  • Me: *me, 23 years old* Oh, heck yes! Honey Combs are my favorite.
  • Me: *enters the kitchen which is barren and unlit* Mom? Are you here?
  • Mom: *starts throwing raisin bran at me while perched atop the refrigerator*
  • Me: Mom, stop I hate raisin bran! You said there was Honey Comb!
  • Mom: I lied! Get a job you leech! You disgusting vagina worm! Buy your own Honey Comb!
  • Me: But, mom. I'm F R E S H outta college and can't afford Honey Comb on my own.
  • Mom: I don't care. I want to move to Minnesota and own a ranch by myself where I will practice embroidery just like your grandmother.
  • Me: She's dead, mom. Grandma's gone.
  • Mom: I don't care. I'll become her even if it takes my entire life.
  • *30 years later*
  • Lawyer: Your mother left her entire estate to you, including her fortune. All she wants is for you to continue her embroidery business, just like your grandmother did.
  • Me: I don't want to. I have a nice career as a banker in Portland, and I'd like to continue with it.
  • Lawyer: 30 years as a banker in Portland! Pathetic. I feel sick to call myself your lawyer. I should find clients with more prospects in life.
  • Me: Leave then. I don't need you. I don't need my mother's fortune. I'm happy the way I am.
  • *later that night*
  • Wife: Is there something wrong, dear? You've been in your bedroom for an awfully long time.
  • Me: No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine. I just need some time to myself is all, honey.
  • Wife: Okay, but if you need to talk, I'm always there for you. *walks off*
  • Me: *sobs quietly while eating Honey Comb* It tastes nothing like it did when I was younger. They changed the formula. It's just like raisin bran. Nothing is good anymore.

“That was the Jedi’s job, and the Jedi were gone.


The Jedi were gone. Ahsoka thought it mercilessly, over and over again—still too afraid to say the words out loud—until she could take the final step: the Jedi were dead. All of them. The warriors, the scholars, the diplomats, the generals. The old and the young. The students and the teachers. They were dead, and there was nothing Ahsoka could do.”

Ahsoka Ch. 5 by E.K. Johnston