i'm chanting

List of things to say when someone asks why you don’t want kids
  • I promised my firstborn to a witch and really don’t want to make good on the deal
  • Well you can have them FOR me if it’s that big a deal to you
  • I don’t think I could get a good price for em on the black market
  • Fight me Helen
  • I can’t be a better parent than Angelina Jolie so why even bother
  • That’s my nindo. My ninja way.
  • I literally JUST sat down
  • Recite “The Highway Man” from Over the Garden Wall
  • Kids? What are those? I don’t understand. What are these youOH GRAVY WHAT IS THAT!?
  • Oohhh no, I’ve seen Disney movies, I know what happens to mothers
  • Centipedes? In my vagina?
  • *Angrily* YOU SEE!? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail*
  • I heard they’re.. you know.. itchy. Like, as soon as you have a kid. Just totally itchy. Everything.
  • I’m an Aries
  • Well, we already got an even number so.. *shrug*
  • I must first capture the Avatar to regain my honor
  • I’m allergic
  • That’s just what the communists want!
  • I’ve been dead for seven years
  • Santa didn’t bring me one last Christmas, so I guess it’s no meant to be
  • I’m afraid they’ll have bad taste in memes
  • It would be unfair to my cat
  • I’m chaotic neutral
  • *long farting noise lasting at least 45 seconds*
  • “I don’t want to have children, I want to stay single, and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.”

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - Karasuno, Revival!

“We are the blood–we flow smoothly and circulate oxygen so that the brain can function at its best.” 

Please do not repost gifs

the signs as random shit kids have said in science class (part 1)
  • Aquarius: I don't see with eyes. I see with brows.
  • Pisces: That light bulb is a good boy. A good rainbow boy.
  • Aries: Ty...Ty? Did you bring your purple vibrator again?
  • Taurus: *repeatedly chants* I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF
  • Gemini: Screw the science-ing; become a singer!
  • Cancer: Brendon Urie is a good dad dog.
  • Leo: My dad bought the sun for ten million dollars and he called it Sun.
  • Virgo: (to the teacher) I can't hear you. I can't hear fake news.
  • Libra: I love Jewish people! They make the best falafel.
  • Scorpio: Bill Nye: Teen Heartthrob and International Sex Symbol
  • Sagittarius: A supernova is NOT a suicide.
  • Capricorn: The fastest thing in the universe is you nutting. Zoom.

acceptable times exo could have mentioned yixing during this promotion period:

  • their official press conference
  • any of their multiple vlives
  • knowing brothers
  • their music show interviews
  • their music show wins
  • the exo-l birthday videos

when exo has actually mentioned yixing during this promotion period:

NCT Dream and the 1st win

I’ve been in Kpop fandom for many years, and this isn’t the first time I witness my favourite group getting their first win, but this is the 1st time I cry, and I cry nonstop. Because the kids deserve it so much. Because Mark and Donghyuck who have been working nonstop since their debut, one is on their 4th and 5th promotion and one is having their 3rd and 4th promotion. And Renjun, omg he cried so much, he’s only 15 when he started to train in a foreign country. Chenle, he has everything in China, but still went to another country and started fresh. Jeno and Jisung gave up their school and childhood to focus on training, to archive their dream. And Jaemin who has problem with his back since trainee day, still didn’t give up, and debuted and danced on hoverboard with the brightest smile ever. Dream kids, every single one of them, gave up so many things to archive the dream. And at such a young age, they got their first achievement, but it wasn’t granted, it was their sacrifice and hard working. Congrats kids!

hmslusitania  asked:

I love everything about your Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot folk. Thank you for sharing them with us! ~omgericzimmermann

They love you too!

( @omgericzimmermann is referring to this post )

(Edit: I somehow forgot Foxtrot’s baby hairs, aka my favorite part of their entire design??!?!! Anyway they’re there now.)

anonymous asked:

can we get some headcanons for aone? big polar bear son needs way more love ;w;

  • he can actually play the guitar and is really good at it
  • tears up easily when watching sad movies
  • or the opening scene of Up. it always gets him right in the heart
  • his family owns a golden retriever named Clara
  • he and Clara is best buds and he is mostly the one going on walks/runs with her
  • best buds! 
  • can cook and bake about anything there is 
  • except for cookies… for some reason he always fail at making cookies
  • he do not understand why
  • fav animal is bunnies. they so smol 
  • speaking of which, small animals adore him 
  • hates syringes with every fiber of his body 
  • loves taking naps under this one tree at the park when it’s sunny outside 
  • he helps old ladies cross the road 
  • old ladies in his neighborhood thinks he is such a sweet young boy 
  • literally been adopted by them as their grandchild lmao

Star Wars ep 8 is entitled ‘The Last Jedi’ because Luke teaches Rey how to be a jedi and do all the cool lightsaber tricks, sticks around long enough to fulfil his Old And Wizened Master role, then leaves her to be to only one while he fucks off to retire in peace on a tropical paradise planet. The after credits scene features him reclining on a beach, sipping a piña colada through a crazy straw. Wedge Antilles is on the adjacent sunlounger.