i'm broad

Traffic lights are killing kink fic

Dramatic title, but this rant has been building for some time and I need to get it off my chest. Friends, fellows, lovely fic writers: kink fic in fandom lately sounds like someone is reciting a How To BDSM 101 manual and it’s really starting to grind my gears.

It seems lately that, more often than not, any fic I open with even the teeniest bit of kink spends about half the fic being excruciatingly boring and samey about making sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to consent and who is spanking who in bed. As an Actual Real Live Kinky Person, let me tell you about some things that are seriously pissing me off.

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Broad City vs. Inauguration Day: Abbi and Ilana Face the ‘Apocalypse’ AKA Fuuuuuck

the worst kind of cultural differences are polite kissing differences…. they make everything awkward… 

when you kiss with one cheek but they’re european so they go for the double kiss and you leave them hanging awkwardly… when they’re from somewhere that does three kisses and it’S FUCKING WEIRD WHY THREE, when they’re from somewhere in i think northern south america? where they actually put their lips on your cheek and you’re left feeling gross like why did u do that that’s wet and disgusting… when they’re from somewhere where they don’t kiss at all and you go for it and they kinda jump back and it’s awkward af….the worst…

anonymous asked:

Why does Julian say he has one of those faces?? He has bright red hair, an eyepatch, is 6'4", and wears eyeliner??? Does this just mean he looks plain in comparison to the crowd, or is that just his lame excuse to be walking in broad daylight? I'm worried and deeply concerned.

He just has one of those faces