i'm being repressed!

Lame adaptations and sequels are always like, “how can Mina go back to her stifling Victorian marriage after her experience with the dark, seductive Dracula??”

Meanwhile, Mina marries her best friend, who she’s known since they were children, who she share common interests with, they build a home together, work as partners, make immense sacrifices for each other, support each other through their traumas.

Guys, a marriage isn’t stifling and restrictive just because two people… get along, I guess?

  • Optimus Prime: I am your leader!
  • Megatron: Well, I didn't vote for you.
  • Optimus: You don't vote for primes.
  • Starscream: Well, how'd you become Prime, then?
  • Optimus: Primus, clad in the purest shimmering light, held aloft the Matrix from the bosom of the planet core, signifying by divine providence that I, Orion Pax, was to carry the Matrix. That is why I am your leader.
  • Megatron: Listen, strange deities napping in planet centers and distributing magic baubles is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical magic chest jewelry.
  • Megatron: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some all-powerful tart threw a pretty "rock of wisdom" at you!
  • Optimus: [grabs Megatron and shakes him] Shut up! Will you shut up?!
  • Megatron: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail {Sentence Starters}
  • "I must speak with your lord and master."
  • "Well, I didn't vote for you."
  • "Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"
  • "You'll be stone dead in a moment."
  • "You're using coconuts!"
  • "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
  • "We want a shrubbery!!"
  • "I bid you welcome to your new home."
  • "How do you know she is a witch?"
  • "Help, help, I'm being repressed!"
  • "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"
  • "Is there someone else up there we can talk to?"
  • "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."
  • "They dressed me up like this."
  • "Oh, she turned me into a newt! Well, I got better."
  • "I fart in your general direction!"
  • "Well, how'd you become king, then?
Monty Python Memes
  • "Bereft of life, it rests in peace."
  • "Always look on the bright side of life."
  • “My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.”
  • “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.”
  • “It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?”
  • “Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”
  • “I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?”
  • "Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!”
  • “Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it.”
  • "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
  • “And now for something completely different.”
  • “No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.”
  • “The Castle Aaahhhgggg - our quest is at an end.”
  • “Of course, it’s a bit of a jump, isn’t it? I mean, er… chartered accountancy to lion taming in one go… You don’t think it might be better if you worked your way towards lion taming, say via banking?”
  • "He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"
  • "I'm Brian, and so's my wife!"
  • "Oh, it’s ‘blessed are the meek’. I’m glad they’re getting something, they have a hell of a time."
  • "I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I’m afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently."
  • "Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you."
on cake and consumerism
  • me: I was afk staring mournfully at the kitchen in the hopes of materialising biscuits through sheer force of will
  • friend: that rarely works
  • friend: I wonder why no one has started a 24-hour biscuit/cake delivery service yet
  • me: capitalism has failed us all
  • me: I mean, apart from the whole consumerism and structural violence thing
  • friend: that too
  • friend: but if it's going to give us those it should at least do takeaway cake
  • me: quite