do you have any tips on how to not be so hard on yourself about your grades + how not to compare your academic performance to others? this is something i've been working so hardly on trying to stop, but it's hard
You are not alone. I’ve been in your shoes sooo many times before. And if you’re anything like me, you overthink literally everything which makes it a hundred times worse. It’s pretty easy to feel insecure about your grades, especially when you’re constantly surrounded by “smart people” in your classes. Unfortunately for me, it was my friends. All my friends are super smart so I went through this horrible phase my sophomore year of just absolutely hating my brain. And it doesn’t really help when your best friend is taking all AP Classes, plus internships, a club president, and could get into any school in the country while you’re just… average. So ya, like the human I am, I hated myself for it. I took some honors classes and an AP before, but what did that mean? I hated that I wasn’t smart enough to automatically understand concepts in class, and I blamed myself for studying my ass off and still getting C’s on tests because who else was there to blame but me?
I think it’s so easy for us to just beat ourselves up. There’s a saying that your worst enemy is the person staring back at you in the mirror. I know it’s hard. It’s SO fucking hard to trust yourself and know your worthiness. But here’s what helped me: it’s the same concept as hating what you physically see in the mirror. You can’t change your brain, just how you can’t change your body. You only have one and you can’t force it to do anything it just doesn’t want to do. The only thing you can do is take care of it. And everybody has one (a body and a brain) but we’ve all got different ones and they’re all beautiful. You have two options: you can either accept that everyone has a completely different one and there’s nothing wrong with yours, or you can use it as motivation to try harder. Try one, try both. They’re both good ideas. But you’ve just got to try. No matter what people tell me, I’ll always believe that your grades do not define you. They are simply a letter/score on a piece of paper depending on how well you fill out other pieces of paper. Literally. We each have our own talents and specialties; remember that you don’t have to be good at everything, but you have the potential to be good at anything.
I know It’s hard when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out while you’re just trying to get by. I’m almost done with high school and I still feel that way. I don;t know if the feeling will ever go away, but it’s a work in progress. Please know that I’ve been there. We all have, and I promise it does get better, it just takes some time. Time, patience, and practice: that’s what self-love is all about. You are so worthy. Hang in there, babe xxx