i'm bad at taking my own advice

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips on how to not be so hard on yourself about your grades + how not to compare your academic performance to others? this is something i've been working so hardly on trying to stop, but it's hard

You are not alone. I’ve been in your shoes sooo many times before. And if you’re anything like me, you overthink literally everything which makes it a hundred times worse. It’s pretty easy to feel insecure about your grades, especially when you’re constantly surrounded by “smart people” in your classes. Unfortunately for me, it was my friends. All my friends are super smart so I went through this horrible phase my sophomore year of just absolutely hating my brain.  And it doesn’t really help when your best friend is taking all AP Classes, plus internships, a club president, and could get into any school in the country while you’re just… average. So ya, like the human I am, I hated myself for it. I took some honors classes and an AP before, but what did that mean? I hated that I wasn’t smart enough to automatically understand concepts in class, and I blamed myself for studying my ass off and still getting C’s on tests because who else was there to blame but me?

I think it’s so easy for us to just beat ourselves up. There’s a saying that your worst enemy is the person staring back at you in the mirror. I know it’s hard. It’s SO fucking hard to trust yourself and know your worthiness. But here’s what helped me: it’s the same concept as hating what you physically see in the mirror. You can’t change your brain, just how you can’t change your body. You only have one and you can’t force it to do anything it just doesn’t want to do. The only thing you can do is take care of it. And everybody has one (a body and a brain) but we’ve all got different ones and they’re all beautiful. You have two options: you can either accept that everyone has a completely different one and there’s nothing wrong with yours, or you can use it as motivation to try harder. Try one, try both. They’re both good ideas. But you’ve just got to try. No matter what people tell me, I’ll always believe that your grades do not define you. They are simply a letter/score on a piece of paper depending on how well you fill out other pieces of paper. Literally. We each have our own talents and specialties; remember that you don’t have to be good at everything, but you have the potential to be good at anything.

I know It’s hard when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out while you’re just trying to get by. I’m almost done with high school and I still feel that way. I don;t know if the feeling will ever go away, but it’s a work in progress. Please know that I’ve been there. We all have, and I promise it does get better, it just takes some time. Time, patience, and practice: that’s what self-love is all about. You are so worthy. Hang in there, babe xxx

anonymous asked:

Hi!! Idk how much you know about borderline personality disorder, but do you maybe have any advice on bringing up BPD to a psychologist? I'm seeing one tomorrow and I'm pretty sure I have BPD, but I'm really worried about bringing it up since I'm only 16, and I'm not sure if I can get diagnosed for a personality disorder bc of that. I'm scared if she says I don't have it that I'll get really upset and take it out on myself and it'll be bad. If you had any advice, that would be great!! Thanks!!!

Hi there!

I think its amazing that you’re looking for outside help (professional help) for BPD, I personally do not have BPD but my very close friend Alice does and I think from my own personal research, I can give you some resources and some general advice/tips.

What am I going through as a person with BPD?

  • Intense emotions and mood swings
  • Inappropriate and/or unreasonable anger and irritability
  • Impulsive and risky behavior, can include: spending excessive amounts of money, taking too many drugs, drinking too much, promiscuity, and self-harm
  • Predisposition to addiction
  • Difficult and intense relationships, often full of arguments, conflict, and breakups
  • Higher probability of being abused and/or raped
  • Sudden intense episodes of anxiety, depression, and mania-like behavior
  • Feelings of self-hatred, often resulting in suicidal thoughts and behavior
  • Hallucinations, including auditory, sensory, olfactory, and visual
  • Delusions, particularly an obsessive fear and belief that people are going to abandon me
  • Extreme need for attention in order to feel that I am worthy of living
  • Unstable self-image and lack of consistent personality/identity, often resulting in mimicking the behavior and personalities of fictional characters and real-life loved ones
  • Excessive self-criticism
  • Feelings of emptiness
  • Awareness of/guilt because of destructive behaviors, but feeling unable to stop
  • Dissociation states under stress, in which I feel a disconnection from my body and from reality
  • Unstable goals/aspirations
  • Tendency to interpret the emotions of others as overwhelmingly negative
  • Paranoia that people hate me or are annoyed by everything I do
  • Idolizing people I’ve just met
  • Fear that I am faking my symptoms, no matter how severe they are
  • Fear that I am being manipulative or abusive
  • Possessiveness of loved ones
  • Constant need for reassurance

Resources-

Since you’re also looking for advice on how you could bring this up with your psychologist, I have some general tips for you on how you could work through this-

Before your appointment with your psychologist-

  • Make a list of all the symptoms you’re having
  • Make a list of any triggers that could be contributing to a possible diagnostic of BPD
  • Practice things you’re going to talk about with your psychologist (give yourself some time to be prepared to answer tough questions)

During your appointment with your psychologist-

  • Be open and honest about everything that’s going on
  • Put your listening ears on.
  • Allow outside help and allow further testing (if needed)
  • Don’t let your emotions take control. Keep calm and remain in a healthy mindset
  • Show your psychologist the list of symptoms and triggers

After your appointment with your psychologist-

  • Do some research of your own- this helps bring ease to symptoms. But please do not self diagnose.
  • Keep a mood journal and track your mood, triggers etc
  • Follow up with your psychologist in a couple weeks (2-3) and see if further testing or appointments are needed
  • Don’t give up if you don’t get diagnosed. You’re 16 as of right now, things might change and maybe in a couple years the diagnosing method might be different.

Hope this helps!

anonymous asked:

I was looking through your fantasy tag and I came across your post about medieval themes being overused. I'm thinking of using the High Middle Ages for my timeline and I was wondering if you could point out some overused medieval fantasy plotlines, themes or plot devices I can take note of. I intend to have Faeries who, unfortunately, will have characteristics of being beautiful, stronger and with a longer lifespan. Do you have any advice on the pitfalls I should avoid to not sound like a [1/2]

bad Tolkien copy? I plan to build my own culture, social hierarchy, political and economical structure and magical ability for my Faeries to counter this. But at the moment, I’m having trouble taking the next step. I seem to find it hard to deviate from Faery folklore and mythology I’ve read up as though I’m afraid of wandering out of my comfort zone and risk being ridiculed. Any advice on how to counteract this? [2/2]

It’s not that medieval settings in general are cliche, it’s that the way they are used and carried out is cliche. The medieval settings that are overused tend to meet most of the traits below:

  • Set in England or a land modeled after England between the 8th and 14th centuries
  • All-white casts
  • Extremely patriarchal societies

One of the most over-used medieval fantasy plots is the one where the farm boy learns he has magical powers/is part of a prophecy/is royalty/somehow becomes nobility by the end of the story.

Some other cliches are:

A theme that most fantasy readers are sick of is the “good vs evil” theme where everything is strictly black and white. Readers want more gray morality and fantasy writers are encouraged to explore it in their stories.

For species that are seen as being superior to others, it’s a good idea to give them severe flaws too. That longer life span could hold some repercussions or maybe the fairies can see themselves as beautiful while others see them as unattractive.

More:

chasing-the-fullmoon  asked:

As much as I try to be the perfect daughter for my parents, I could never be who they want me to be. I wonder if I'm selfish for wanting to take charge of my own life instead of allowing them to do it for me? I'm not happy, I feel ugly, I'm constantly reminded of my weight. Some say the bad things will motivate you to keep going but I don't know if I can tbh. Nobody knows that I break down every night when everyone's asleep. I feel alone and not even my boyfriend knows helpful advice.

Hey, sweetheart. About a month ago I answered to a similar message, you can read it here. I hope it helps you even a little bit. 

There is no such thing as a “perfect daughter” - we all have our flaws, none of us is perfect. Remember that you don’t have to be perfect and you can’t please everyone.