Verily, in a future where dividing by zero has its benefits, on another episode of…
Redwall a la Youtube
Episode Nine: A True Hero With Eyes
In which Readwhile, a self-sustaining Abee, is somehow running out of supplies, and we as viewers are forced to accept such a blasphemous plot device. This episode also features inspiration from several popular and deeply beloved family films, including the Saw franchise, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Shining. Goody!
The infamous Asthma Day Sauce is now a serpent of distant memory. Two episodes in to our filler arc, the orchards, gardens, and beehives located within Readwhile Abee have disappeared from existence. Alas, our friends seem to be nearly out of
food supplies spices, and whatever will they do without them? Viewers will despair right alongside the Readwhilers as they contemplate how useless a kitchen without nutmeg can be. But cheer up, friends! A new hero arises in this episode, and it’s the one, the only… Follow the Spice Up.
Follow is a travelling spice merchant. Intercepted in his car on the way to Readwhile Abee, Follow’s female companion is taken hostage by Clooney and his vermin gang. Clooney, who has been working on leveling his druid subclass, recently communed with a bird to discover Readwhile Abee was low on spices. The bilge rat forces Follow to participate in his evil schemes… because honor (no seriously, watch the episode). Follow’s ridiculously convenient and totally not suspicious solo arrival at the Abee is a source of immense relief to Coneflower, as we find out that the Farther Habit is mad addicted to nutmeg and has been pressuring Coneflower for his fix. Per the Farther Habit’s bidding, Coneflower bargains with Follow to obtain +1 nutmeg. The experience of bargaining enlightens Coneflower, and she realizes she never needed a man in her life anyway. The score is now Coneflower 1, Missed-Highest 0.
From this point on, the episode becomes a bad case of DO NOT WANT. Later that night, Follow convinces Coneflower to come alone with him (trap #1) to see some of his rare spices that he never shows anybeast else (trap #2) and he sweetens the deal by telling her that she could probably “bargain [him] to a very low price” (trap #3). Against every core value of her character, Coneflower agrees to accompany him to his stash… until she ends up in a Mostflour rendition of a torture scene from any given horror movie. Y’know, just kid’s stuff!
If anything, props to Clooney for helping to perpetuate the damsel in distress stereotype.