i'm awake and feel the ache

anonymous asked:

In all honesty, I love my job. It's only a part time job while I'm still in high school so I can move out and start living on my own, so of course its not my dream job. But I really do enjoy working there, my coworkers are amazing and friendly, and understand when I need help. It's just the whole day leading up to when I actually leave for work that I hate. I'm constantly thinking "I don't wanna go, I wanna call out" but then I get there and I'm perfectly fine??

I’m the same way! Sometimes if I wake up a few hours before I actually need to be awake I’ll have trouble falling back to sleep because of it. I even get a stomach ache if it’s bad enough, but after an hour or two at work I feel fine. -Abby

Cost of Freedom (17/52)

Summary: In which Saguru and Ran learn about the escape. Prison ! AU

[Beginning]    [Previous Part]    [Next Part]

Tokyo - 6.12 a.m.


Unlike the streets of Tokyo, which are unusually quiet this morning, the police station is bursting with activity. The moment Ran races in, holding onto Saguru’s sleeve to avoid losing him through the crowds of officers, she knows that something has gone extremely wrong.

The way Saguru’s lips purse tells Ran that she is not the only one is confused. She’d listened faintly to his side of the phone call - something she knows is rude, but she’d been excited over the concept of it being Hattori - and from the abrupt end to the call, she knows that he’s not had anything explained to him.

They weave through the sea of uniformed police. She recognises some faces, but most of the officers are blank slates, not people Ran has met or talked to.

Keep reading

     today is not a good day. everything hurts from the head to each and every muscle in the body. he’s just not going to move from his bed to prevent feeling a wave of nausea. 

goghjoo  asked:

aamukaste: morning dew.

wordstuck drabble prompts || forever accepting! | @goghjoo

aamukaste: morning dew.


                     The gleaming crystals kiss the leaves and flowers awake.
                                 Beads basking in the vivid light and heat of the morning sun.
                                             In the summer’s end.


      There’s a thunder that sits beneath her chest. She had this one before, a good kind. A thunder that you’d love to watch on a night by the window, letting the noise engulf the silence. But this thunder inside her right now is wrecking through the entirety of her body. A ray of a new day sliced through her slumber, the curtains of her eyelids slowly opened to a reality that has been masked by the night prior.

      A reality that ceased to matter in a fleeting moment of a bliss – one fed by alcohol, tension and the raging emotions which have been bottled up for a long time.

      You don’t bottle up your feelings because once a crack forms, it will surely explode.

      Oh how they did.

      When his face emerged into her vision, a lightning struck inside her, finest of hair arose, hands instinctively grasping tightly to the white sheets that prevented the night’s cold to seep into her bare skin. There’s no need to look underneath. She could see his wide shoulders bare in his proximity, she could feel the draft of the air conditioner sift through her exposed skin – she could feel her own body freeze in disbelief.

      He is still unaware. Eyelashes fluttering in a dream, oblivious to the storm they had both brewed together.

Why me, Joowon ah?
Silence.

It’s you. No reason. Just you.
Silence.


      People always told her that she’s nice, that she may be the nicest person they’d ever met, because of her genuine smiles, because of how she views people, how she sees the good in them, how she makes sure to extract happiness for them. What was all these niceness for? It’s not true.

      You’re cruel.
      You left him at the edge of the cliff.
      You went back to him. You faced him at that same cliff.
      And when his hands reached for you, you pushed him.

      No. Indeed I pushed him, but I followed him after.

      See how you’re doomed?

      The vapors of their emotions were to be blamed. They coalesce into dew - mystical opaque beads formed on a night when temperatures of opposite ranges meets. An earthly presence. Almost real.

      An ephemeral grace.

What am I to you?

I haven’t found the answer yet.

Let me show you.


      She thought she already knew. Nothing ever comes good with alcohol. Why haven’t you learned your lesson?

      There’s a shadow of the coolness that stands still. He gleefully removed that chill.
     
At the expense of what?
      

      What have you done, Haebitna?
      I don’t know! I don’t know… I just… don’t know anymore!

      But I think I already know my answer.

      She looks at him, the last time she could look at his face without all the guilt swimming and drowning her. It’s easy to take advantage of people; she never intended to, but now she’s taking advantage of his unconsciousness, of the oblivion provided to him by sleep, of the naivety and the rawness of his affections that she could not fit into her heart, of the kindness and concern that he had given her – she took them all to fill her in. She takes his affections but could never return the same. She’d give him love, always. But not the one he seeks from her.

Let me take advantage of that pure love, one last time.

It’s selfish.

I know.

      You’re cruel, Haebitna.

      “I’m sorry.” A hushed whisper through gritted teeth, choking on her whimpers when the reality settles into her, and the dew returns into vapor as the morning has preceded past dawn.

      Morning dew. Pearls of the morning sun. Scattered in a shimmering arc until they grew so heavy.


      Dew drops on her cheeks. Dew drops on her skin. Until it evaporates from the heat of her body.


      Let’s forget all of these.

“I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers.
I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake, however you choose to see it
I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run far and wide until my bones ache and lungs split and it feels good.
Hear that people? It feels good because I am the slave and ruler of my own body and I wish to do with it exactly as I please.”

anonymous asked:

Hi don't worry I'm not in any immediate harm and have no intention of hurting myself. But could you write a list of reasons that we have left to live for?

• the feeling of grass tickling your back

• the warmth of the sun on your skin

• the feeling of the sand between your toes 

• the muscle ache that comes with running or biking far, knowing you could theoretically go anywhere, knowing that you pushed your body to the limit 

• crawling into bed after a long hard day and embracing yourself with soft sheets

• those late nights when you’re awake in self-reflection, thoughts racing with inspiration

• Saturday mornings 

• family breakfasts 

• foreign pastries you haven’t tasted

• dream destinations you have yet to visit 

• saving up for something you really wanted and finally getting it

• finding a song that you can’t stop playing on repeat

• listening to your friend or sibling ramble on about something that makes them passionate 

• that girl you would’ve met in your ____ class next year and hit it off with. you’d later make plans to go to the movies with a mutual friend

• the pride you’ll feel after your first paycheck

• the emotional tug you feel at the end of a movie, when you walk back out into the real world, dazed and dreamlike

• that guy you meet that you think finally understands you

• finding out he doesn’t and gaining perspective on life

• meeting someone else, because you’re unbreakable and life is about experiences 

• that moment, maybe months or years from now, when you look around at a group of people you now call your friends – you’re all laughing till your abs hurt – and you just think ‘damn I’m happy’ and it was all worth it


most of all though, because, in the grand scheme of things, you are so insignificant

you are just a living being experiencing life alongside everyone else. why not see your life through? what do you have to lose if you continue living? if anything, it’s all about what you have to gain. losing would be to cease existing and, to me, that’s terrifying

you have this one chance to live – you’re breathing, you’re alive. if you wanted to, you could start a new sport. you can decide to start a new project, perhaps in art. you could go out the door right now, get yourself your favorite coffee drink and a donut and just take a joy-ride to the beach

there are just so many little things that are part of living, and I know it’s so easy to feel cynical and realize how unimportant it all is, but at the same time, maybe that’s ok. the insignificance doesn’t have to be depressing. because, in a way, we all are significant to our own circles. maybe you’re not living your ‘dream life’ yet, but there’s time – so much of it

in the mean time, you mean the world to your parents, to your siblings, to the lives you have touched thus far. as your life unfolds, you’ll continue to make these connections with people, and that’s what life is really all about – the person you were and the people you connected with. think about how incredible it is that youre alive at the same time as so many people – think about all the people you have yet to meet or even brush contact with. the world is incredible and random and spontaneous, and you are so full of life and potential and unrealized passion