i'm an idiot but at least i know it

jeneelestrange  asked:

Just write a poly involving were-any-large-carnivores and it will be bought. You know this to be true.

Is this your way of telling me to write werewolf vampire porn? Cause if it is I’m 100% down with this.

Also now all I have in my head is a vampire and a werewolf who love each other despite clan feud wars and they meet in secret on moonlit nights. I could be the Shakespeare of our time.

“But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?”
“It’s the dawn, Vlad, you idiot. Get away from the window you know you’re not supposed to be up at this hour.”
“You have no poetry in your soul.”
“At least I have a soul.”
“You are so grumpy in the morning.”
“I love ruffling your fur.”

While it’s stated that Diavolo had no father and his mum was pregnant for like 2 years or some shit, I propose a different theory: Diavolo’s father was a clown.

The modern clown is somewhat of an enigma, but we know some of their powers. They have access and make use of reality warping pocket dimensions (like clown cars), innumerable wealth in the form of clown money, dress like an idiot and possess a homicidal killing tendency. While we can not know the full scope of their powers, it’s easy to see at least some reflections between a clown and Diavolo

So, theory. Using clown powers, Diavolo’s clown father was able to both sneak in an knock up his mum, and then wipe her mind of the event. The clown genetics is also why Diavolo’s gestation period took longer than expected. 

This also makes Diavolo half clown, and while this mostly manifests in homicidal urges and a shitty fashion - he seems to possess some clown powers. Like a clown’s shape-shifting ability when he swaps between alters (of course, the unstable genetics of a human-clown hybrid also probably leads to volatile mood swings - hence why he has some moments of warped compassion like keeping his mother alive (despite burying her alive) and not killing Donatella (despite burning her village to ground) and generally being rather pleasant if dim-witted before the clown genes kicked in)

It could also be another reason why he’s so paranoid about his past.

Nobody can find out he’s part clown

And that’s my totally serious theory on why Diavolo is half clown. Thank you and good night 

Can we change the “Adrien is secretly a sexy pole dancer” fanon trope to “Adrien is secretly a dorky fire fighter”?



The least mentioned talent of Adrien Agreste.  


What is your face, son…

He definitely marches to the beat of his own drum ¬‿¬


The most beautiful piece of art to ever exist


What a great way to start the new semester than with a glorious masterpiece by the one and only @cinensis
Seriously, everyone please go support this man, he’s the sweetest and most wonderful man in the world, and such incredible talent!!! His comic Zenith is gorgeous and has a solar system theme!! And he’s Canadian!!! Merci mon voisin de la prochain province~!!! Tu es le mellieur!!!!

It is an honour and a pleasure to own something created by yourself, and I will find the perfect frame to treasure it FOREVER!!!!

Thank you so much Joshua, you’re absolutely Wonderful!
À la prochain~!!!

anonymous asked:

taejin is purely platonic :)

of course!! you’re right!! taejin are sooooo platonic!! silly me thinking they were romantic lol what an idiot :))))

the way tae is looking at jin here is super platonic :)

Originally posted by jiminiemini

nothing like 2 bros grinding on each other :)))

Originally posted by softlytaejin

friends 4ever :)

Originally posted by taejinnies

bestest bros :)

Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie

i love friendship :)

Originally posted by weakforjin

buddies :)

Originally posted by yoongles

nothing like friendly back massages between friends :)

Originally posted by jiminrolls

friends sleeping together :)

Originally posted by babypeachtaozii

pals :)

Originally posted by chimtae

and last but not least who could forget the most platonic performance known to man :))))))

Originally posted by holykyungie

I love AUs because it’s like no matter what universe the people meet in or how they run into each other they’re destined to fall for each other every time;
even if it takes longer in some stories or if they have more rough patches, interruptions or if the AU just doesn’t play in their favour it’s nice to know that the author is writing the story for their personal interest too
and if it means making everyone suffer first so be it, at least they chose the people in it to be the characters knowing that; “they’ll do fine no matter what shit I put them through”

anonymous asked:

Coming out of the closet/confessing a crush? To Tracer, Zarya, Mercy, Widowmaker and Pharah. TY!

I tried to make these really light hearted and fun. Coming out can be so stressful, and is usually not a fun experience. I wrote these with all positive reactions, because there is nothing wrong with being gay/bi/pan/queer. If it was a perfect world, we wouldn’t even have to come out. Since we do, I want it to be a celebration. Sorry for the rant. These are all gonna be really silly and happy. Enjoy!

Tracer -
“How did you realize you were gay?” You ask Lena, genuinely interested. You had been questioning some things yourself, but you wanted to be sure.
“Well,” Lena begins to answer, “I guess I just sort of always knew. Ya know? I never was really into boys, but I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized it was because I like girls. It made so much sense.”
You think about her answer for a long while.
“Lena….” You begin to say. You’re unsure of how to tell her.
“You’re gay?” She finishes your sentence for you.
“Yes! How did you know?” You ask, completely surprised.
Lena just laughs and pulls you into a big hug. “I’ve seen you look at girls, love. There’s no way you’re straight.”

Zarya -
You drag yourself to the gym on base. You have to get your work out in for today, even though you’re really not in the mood. As you walk into the gym, you see Zarya in the middle of her work out. She’s weight lifting, of course. You can’t help but stare. Everyone admires Zarya’s arms, but to actually see her flexing and lifting weights was stunning You can feel your jaw drop as you watch her.
“I am so gay” You say to yourself quietly.
You hear a loud chuckle. Looks like someone heard you. She looks over at you with a big smile on her face. She glances up and down your body.
“I am too.” She states. You feel your cheeks go red as you both crack up laughing.

Mercy -
Today was the day. You were going to ask Dr. Ziegler out. You’ve had a crush on the beautiful doctor since you could remember. You walk into the medbay to find the doctor busy doing paperwork. “Hello, doc.” You call out. Her eyes light up when she looks at you. She flashes you a bright smile and you wonder if she actually is an angel.
“It’s good to see you.” She says, smile still bright on her face. You feel yourself growing more and more nervous. She’s so beautiful, is it even possible she’d like you back?
“Angela. I gotta tell you something.” You start to say. “I, um. I think you’re so beautiful. and uh, I enjoy spending time with you…” You stopped mid sentence. You sounded like such an idiot! Panicking, you look up at Angela. Her smile is even more radiant than before. She leans up and places a light kiss to you cheek.
“I’d love to go out with you.” She replies.

Widowmaker -
Do you wanna know the worst part of being stationed at Watchpoint Gibraltar? The shared shower. There is no privacy. You usually try to go early in the morning before everyone else gets in there. You hate getting up so early, but it’s worth it for the privacy. However, it looks like you weren’t early enough this morning. You walk into the showers to find one already occupied by a certain beautiful French woman. You know you shouldn’t stare, but you can’t look away. You’ve had a crush on her for the longest time now. She’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. Now seeing her like this, she is just stunning. You look back up to see her staring at you. Busted. You immediately start apologizing. She just smiles and interrupts you, “Hush, chéri. Why don’t you come join me?”

Pharah -
The bartender placed two cocktails in front of you and Pharah. It had been a long, boring day of nothing but meetings. She had suggested the two of you go out and unwind. You were both enjoying your drinks while the other woman told you stories about her days in the Egyptian military. Your nice night was interrupted by a very drunk man swaggering over.
“Hey ladies.” He slurred. “You look lovely tonight.”
“Thanks.” You said, sounding angry. He was disgusting.
“How about you ladies head on home with me? I have enough to take care of you both.” He said, gesturing to his pants.
“Get lost.” Pharah said. He started to object, but she stood up. She was at least a foot taller than the man, and he got the idea to leave before she punched him.
“Damn. I am so happy I date girls.” You said. Then you remembered. Pharah didn’t know you were gay. You looked up at her, completely panicked. She just smiles at you and replies, “I am too. Guys can be such idiots. Girls are so much better.”

  • Chocho: so who fell for who first?
  • Boruto: What?!(blushes)
  • Sarada: Chocho!(puffs up checks, face red)
  • Chocho: What? I meant hypothetically speaking of course. (Moves eyebrows up & down)
  • Boruto: oh well in that case it would be Sarada. (Folds arms,smirks)
  • Sarada: Me?! What makes you
  • think it would be me first!
  • Boruto: isn't it obvious, I'm cooler than you that's why.(sticks out tongue)
  • Sarada: Cooler really? That's funny.
  • Boruto: How so?!
  • Sarada: you're the one who blushes if I even get close up to your face, that's definitely not it keeping cool.
  • Boruto: Yeah well at least I don't go weak in knees just by a few cool words Sa-ra-da chan.
  • Sarada: Tch You'd be first & you know it!
  • Boruto: No you!
  • Sarada: You!
  • Boruto: No you!
  • Sarada: as if!
  • Boruto: Yes if!
  • Sarada: ugh, why are you such a annoying idiot!
  • Boruto: Why are you such a stuck up peculiar girl!
  • Sarada: If I'm such a stuck up peculiar girl why are you always asking me to join you in your childish activities?!
  • Boruto: Tch I don't know maybe because I actually enjoy your company!
  • Sarada: Enjoy my compa__ wait! What?
  • Boruto: ah....nothing!(blushes)
  • Sarada: Hmp! That's what I thog___
  • Mitsuki: He said he enjoys your company. (Smiles)
  • Boruto: Aaa! Woah! Where'd you come from?!
  • Sarada: Always around somewhere somehow....
  • Chocho: Mitsuki I don't know how to say this nicely but I know my beauty is addicting to view but you're getting to clingy for my taste.
  • Mitsuki: ......Sarada tell your mom to put Chocho out of her misery already and give her some medicine.
  • Sarada: ha yeah...wait Boruto!
  • Boruto: A...yes?
  • Sarada: I win. (Folds arms,smirks)
  • Boruto: What? No you don't!
  • Sarada: I believe you were the one who lost their cool first & your thoughtful words pretty much confirm you'd fall for me first.
  • Chocho: Congratulations you two you've finally noticed your feelings for each other! (Claps hands)
  • Sarada & Boruto: Huh! What! No we didn't! Theres no feelings!
  • Chocho: Wait till I tell everyone in the village about this!(skips happily away)
  • Sarada: .....I think I really will tell my mom to give her medicine after all........
  • Mitsuki: Why? She does have a sickness when it comes to me but you two, she's telling the truth.
  • Sarada & Boruto: Mitsuki!!! (Burning red faces)

justleavemebreathless  asked:

11. “I can’t believe you actually said that.” :)

Robert’s drunk, scrap that, he’s absolutely hammered. He’d promised to stop after two glasses, but his jacket was thrown over the bar about two hours ago, and Aaron’s fairly sure he’d be on the floor by now, if it wasn’t for the wall he was leaning on, holding on as though the floors about to fall through.

They’d gotten married for real, and it was a perfect day for it. The July sun shining over Emmerdale as they finally sealed the deal, marriage certificate signed and all. It’s hot, Aaron long abandoned his tie and jacket, his cheeks flushed as they go through the speeches. Tears of laughter drying on their cheeks from Paddy’s drunken ramble, the vets’ face bright red as he tearfully recounts Aaron’s dramatic entrance into his life.

Keep reading

i just remembered an art project i did back when i was 12 and like,,,, how did i not realise i wasn’t straight earlier oh my god

basically we had to design these bowl things and decorate them with an issue that was really important to us and most people did animal charities etc. but i did a whole gay rights themed bowl that was decorated with rainbow tissue paper and pictures of wlw couples and i just

i had a fact that was like ‘1 in every 4 ppl are lgbt’ and this kid was like ‘so there’s at least 7 of us in this class who are gay’ and i was like ‘oh shit yeah probably i wonder who they are’


i have some news for u buddy

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm 17 living in Canada, and trying to get as much information/tips on living on your own as humanly possible in an effort to prepare myself and hopefully not fall on my ass too badly. I know how to handle a budget, at least. I guess I'm mostly asking for tips on how to take care of an apartment of your own? How to keep up on the massive amount of chores that come with a place, or what to do when your drunk idiot roommate that you didn't know was an idiot spills coffee on the carpet?

Hello there, eh! Oh man! Living on your own can be the bees knees!…Or it can super-fucking-suck.

The Sudden Adult’s Tips on How to Not Live in Filth:

  • Buy cleaning supplies. Know how to use them.
  • Hardwood floors=broom. Carpet=vacuum.
  • Clean up a bit every day to avoid a stockpile of shit to clean.
  • If you have a dishwasher, load it each night, start it when you leave in the morning.
  • Get an antibacterial mold-resistant shower curtain. Trust me.
  • A welcome mat prevents muddy inside floors (mostly).
  • Air fresheners, candles, and incense make your place smell nice even when it’s a bit messy.
  • Take out the garbage when it’s full so you don’t have stinky trash.
  • If your fruit is old, shit’s gonna mold. Toss it ASAP to avoid a fruit fly infestation.
  • Get all of your useful cleaning tidbits and knowledge from Unfuck Your Habitat. I love this website like wonuts.

How to keep up with chores?

  • Do little clean-ups frequently to avoid having to do a Hoarders-level clean-up later.

How to clean-up messes?

  • UFYH (again, in case you missed it earlier). This blog has so much knowledge about mystery stains…it’s beautiful.

And a personal piece of advice…learn what type of messy person you are. How much mess can you handle? Are you okay with your roommate’s room being a pig-sty as long as the common areas are pretty okay? Or do you hate any kind of filth? Talk to your roommate(s) about what you all can agree on as acceptable. Then do fun shit like a CHORE WHEEL! Or just take turns doing stuff like sweeping, dishes, etc.

-The Sudden Adult

I just stalked on instagram the guy who’s playing the doctor on Emmerdale cause wanted to see what the fuss was about, my initial thoughts:

1) what a dick god he’s got nothing on robert

2) oh wait he’s actually really fucking hot, why do i recognise him?

3) HOLY DAMN HES FINE GET IT AARON, but seriously why do I recognise him



Originally posted by n-wordbelike

Things still on my mind after season 2 (spoilers)

1. Antok and Keith shared a moment™ in which he said “we will meet again” or something to that effect. And before anything significant can happen with him he…dies? Like either he’s not dead or there is some weird writing going on.

2. When did Keith’s dad leave him, and when/how did he meet Shiro?

3. How DARE they show me Keith’s father but not give me baby Keith? His bio says he was orphaned at a young age I need to see this CHILD!!!?

4. Going on facts not theories, we have yet to see a single female Galra. Do they even have female Galra? Are they all the same gender or do they reproduce asexually? Or are females just not allowed in the military which has been our main exposure point? More importantly, if their reproduction works differently is Keith some crAZY mpreg situation? *twitches* oh god. I wish I hadn’t thought that.

5. Is that even Keith’s real dad? Or is it his foster parent after being orphaned and he doesn’t remember his real one?

6. So obviously the show has been gearing up for Keith to be the protagonist since season 1, it’s been pretty clear in the writing since the beginning to anybody who is as obsessed with storytelling as I am. it just wasn’t obvious right away since he and shiro have been passing the protagonist potato, and they needed to develop the side characters in season 1 or they would be unlikeable.
That being said, Shiro is gone now, and Keith still has protagonist angst™ to deal with. The only other people he has really significant interaction with are Lance and Allura. Long story short I think the Writing was gearing up to make Lance a lot more significant in season 3, if for no other reason to support Keith’s protaging while Shiro (who he is closest to, obviously) is gone. So long story short I think the Lance fans will get the development they are thirsting for in Shiro’s absence. It just might not come exactly as expected.


8. Still not over Hunk straight up saying “Galra Keith”

9. He got a lot of good stuff in season 1 so I’m not too upset about Hunk, but I wish the screen time he DiD have wasn’t reduced to his comic relief quirks. Though we did get some classic Genius Hunk Moments that I can appreciate. They can only do so much with their time when they had to gear up for Shiro to be gone at the end of the season tbh.

10. I have watched the season three (3) times now and will likely do so again, so I have been able to notice details in the writing I hadn’t before. They actually did a really good job despite the problems the fandom has been having with it.

11. Allura is ALWAYS suited up. Even when everybody else is in casual wear she is never in her princess dress. She’s growing up, she’s becoming a leader and a warrior, which parallels Keith’s development into somebody who is capable of leadership as well. Nice 👍🏻

12. “Your freind desperately wants to see you.”

13. At first, Zarkon’s obsession with the Black Lion bothered me, because if You make a villain obsessed with something it can weaken them, and therefore weaken the hero’s triumph. HOWEVER I think they did a good job here. He wasn’t obsessing over the black lion, he was panicking. Panicking because the lion that had been his since its creation is being taken by SOME RANDOM HUMAN HALF HIS SIZE?!?! He’s losing the advantage and he knows it. He’s not obsessed with the Black Lion anymore, it’s more of an obsession with Shiro. How the hell did this kid steal his lion out from under him?!?! He doesn’t have time to refocus until the end of the season. At that point I realized that it didn’t actually bother me. He wasn’t acting like an idiot, his character actually got a lot deeper after that. Nice 👍🏻

14. Last, but certainly not least: WHERE THE QUIZNAK IS SHIRO!?!?!

The Signs as Tim Gutterson quotes
  • Aires: Evenin' soldier. Uh...I didn't bring my cape. I hope this will suffice
  • Taurus: Keep talking I'm gonna throw this stapler at you
  • Gemini: I can’t carry a tune. I don’t know how to shoot a basketball and my handwriting is uh, barely legible. But I don’t miss
  • Cancer: At least you got to shoot your father. Mine had the nerve to die before I got back from Basic with skills and a loaded weapon
  • Leo: I'm a deputy U.S. Marshal ordering you to give me some chicken
  • Virgo: I love this shit. This shit gets me hard
  • Libra: I want Sigourney Weaver to choke me out with her thighs
  • Scorpio: You want me to kill 'em or wing 'em?
  • Sagittarius: I'm not playing. I'm an idiot. You can ask anybody
  • Capricorn: This may as well be a slow night in the champagne room for how comfortably erect I'm gonna be watching your bitch ass squirm about
  • Aquarius: You have three seconds before we kill every one of you
  • Pisces: Between the one-legged evaporating computer nerd and the walk-in this morning, you're on fire today

anonymous asked:

youre anti recovery. youre always talking about how your several therapists doesnt know shit because they give you vaguely difficult advice to alleviate anxiety and depression. youre contributing to making younger people who follow you reject healthy coping mechanisms and treatments.

ohhhh, i see. okay well…. no???

every single time i’ve complained abt my therapists it’s because i specifically tell them “i have done the basics and they no longer help me, i need someone with advanced experience with my issues.” and they’re always like “okay well how about deep breathing?? have u tried deep breathing???”

i have never once said that deep breathing and exercise and eating fruit and all the other basics weren’t good ideas. there invaluable first steps for people who haven’t taken them yet. i’ve always said that when i tell my therapists that those basic techniques no longer do it for me, they explicitly dismiss me and ignore what i’m saying.

like…. i’ve never NOT been clear about that, i don’t think?? all my ventposts follow the format “me: X does not work.  them: hmmm *ignores* okay uhhh… have u tried doing X??” 

like…. i cannot understand how you’d get “anti-recovery” from that.

also the most recent one i posted (today, when i haven’t in like… months i think?) was about my crappy previous doctor constantly telling me i’m an idiot for correctly self diagnosing and causing me to lose valuable recovery time…….. how is that anti-recovery….?

Group Debate #2
  • INTP: Why don't you let ENTP do the work instead?! At least he's actually good at public speaking!
  • ESTP: Except you're not going to speak. Look, I know you're awkward and shit. That's exactly why you're going to write all the scripts!
  • ESTJ: (suddenly butts in) Plus, he goofs around too much. I'd rather have a manageable group of idiots instead of one single class clown.
  • ENTP: [Looking up memes on Pinterest]
  • INTP: ...I suppose so. But I'm pretty sure I'll end up playing video games and forgetting to do anything anyway.
  • ENFP: So what am I supposed to do?
  • INTP: You can't spend the whole time shitting rainbows and unicorns-
  • ENTP: [looks away from laptop] Says the brony.
  • xSTJ teacher: [staring at group] Ahem… please cooperate, or else.
  • ENTP: [suddenly shuts laptop] YES, MA'AM! [salutes]
  • INTP: Was that actually necessary?

henrymarsette  asked:

May I please request DenNor 31 + 50? (Like, in the same drabble - I'm pretty sure those two prompts work p well together)

31 + 50:I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot" & “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

“This,” Norway said through gritted teeth, wrapping up Denmark’s hand as the nation grinned sheepishly, “is why you do not approach angry swans.”

Denmark shrugged airily, beaming despite the marks peppering his forearms. “I thought they were looking for a friend- or bread. How did I know they’d ambush me?”

“It was hardly an ambush, idiot.” The sight of Denmark attacked by a pair of angry swans, having waded into the river in a misguided attempt to approach them, would be one Norway couldn’t forget- or stop himself from telling Sweden or Iceland about. “The great Denmark, once King of Scandinavia, attacked and defeated by birds. How dignified.”

“Swans are cleverer than you give them credit for,” Denmark mumbled, having given up defending his pride to Norway long ago. “I just surprised them.”

“I’m sure.” Tying a note in the bandage, Norway sat back with an eye roll and a sigh. “I’m starting an idiot jar for you; rates depend on how stupid your actions are.”

Battered and bruised- not to mention the state his pride was In- Denmark nonetheless kept his megawatt grin. “But I’m your idiot,” he told him placidly, and with a kiss to his head, Norway left it as his agreement.

Reason #57498 that chronic migraines suck: having to make phone calls with a completely fucked up brain. My language abilities are often borked, especially talking out loud (isn’t it fascinating how writing and talking use completely different parts of the brain? :O), but sometimes I have to talk anyway and it’s cringe city. My contents insurance runs out in a few days so I needed to renew, and I had a question their website couldn’t answer, so to the phone I went…

Me: Hello! I’d like to… … renew my… tenants… insurance… thing…

Them: Do you have your existing policy number to hand?

Me: Yes… um… no… it’s… *brain shuts down, long embarrassing pause*

Them: What’s your name, I’ll find it that way.

At least I could remember my name. Thank fuck for that. And my Nintendo Switch is classed under personal possessions and not portable computer equipment, so I don’t have to pay extra to insure it, yay! (Not that I actually would have done, since I never go out, on account of the migraines, but it’s good to know)

There is a friend I would like to thank for what they did for me when I was in a situation I thought I would never managed to get out.
This friend was at first anonymous and I hoped that somehow they would end to tell me who they are so I could properly thank them.
When I asked them if I could do anything for them, they answered that they didn’t want anything else but me to be out of the situation I was at the time and that they would rather help me than sitting on something that would make my life better and do nothing with it.

I am not ok with the idea of not doing anything to thank them. They were so generous and their words touched me so deeply that even now, thinking of that, I’m just sobbing like an idiot which makes pretty hard to see my keyboard and not do too many typos.
But it’s ok.

So, @nyaore, my friend, I will not let your gesture, your kindness towards me be unknown. While I will not say a word of what you did, I want people to know that you’re someone with such a generous heart that mine aches when I think of those words you told me (and each time I cry, this is getting bad friend).
Even though I didn’t pixel in months as it’s so energy costly, I decided to do an avatar for you of Odile (@enlakertuh), that -of course- you’re not forced to use.
You’ll notice as well that I am an idiot and decided it was very smart to pick this super easy to draw position of the head as my first real pixel in half a year. Bravo Ilwe, you’re very very smart (or masochist).

I know you said you wanted nothing, but, let me at least gift you with this.
This isn’t much, but I hope it shows a little how grateful I am both for your gesture and for your words.